Chapter Text
Haruki had tried to run away from reality many times, and even if that’s impossible, he had always kept that bizarre thought in his mind ever since. Every time he went back to his own bedroom, standing right in front of the door, Haruki felt his heart a little bit out of place - even if he had faced that uncertain feeling more than a hundred, or even a thousand times already.
They have somehow changed as time went by, and maybe all of those revealed misunderstandings had been partly resolved. At least so, he thought. At least. He would eventually have to go back to his own life, and Haruka might continue wearing that white blouse outfit; but he couldn’t label his own relationship with that person. Sigh, he clucked his tongue, he wished he had that ability.
Well. There’s no other way.
After all, Haruki supposed that he had no power to continue his hatred towards his twin brother. He could still scold him, or ridden him with curses and destroy his ego until he himself felt content. Everything was only to fill up the void that he carried along for years and years.
He ate one more piece of popcorn, then added two or three, drowning the sticky sweetness of caramel with a gulp of soft drink. Perhaps the aftertaste from that cheap liquid had helped his tired mind to calm down. Haruki, once again, absentmindedly drifted away to a faraway memory lane, fully ignoring what’s showing on the large screen before him - even the roaring sound from the speaker system wasn’t enough to pull him down to reality.
He was hurt.
How about Haruka?
No.
Not at all.
Haruki was taken aback by that unsettled thought, his dimmed eyes trying to follow the lonely silhouette of the main character, with their story playing on screen. Again, how did everything happen? He couldn’t remember anything clearly. The lone orange shade from the Sun before coming down on the East burned his weak eyes, but even so, Haruki couldn’t move his eyes away from it.
And in just seconds, everything was fully drenched with the deep blue shade from the ocean.
He had spent his whole life just to run away.
What had Haruka done since then?
Haruki slowly realized that ever since, he couldn’t fully understand him. Everything he knew was that his twin spent countless times just to find him, and after that, sported a bright smile whenever he was with him.
After all, why?
What made him feel happy?
Haruki would once again open his mouth just to spit out bitter words - yes, he would do that to him once again. And then again. Even when he knew for sure that his broken soul could never fully heal again.
He glanced at a face that was identical to his, fully taking all of his features in even though his sight was so unclear from the dim, cold shade of the movie screen. Even so, Haruki could perfectly remember every detail on his face, from the smallest thing. His nose bridge, lips, ears, and the place where his mole was at.
He remembered them for sure.
Because that person was himself, and he himself was also him.
No.
No no no.
Haruki shook his head continuously, trying to draw that stupid thought away.
We are twins. Not. We share the same last name, that should be Ho-so-ka-wa-
“Is everything okay?” he touched one of his shoulders, worriedly asking him right after seeing Haruki’s sudden actions.
“I… I have to go…” He panted, hoping to escape from this place, removing himself from Haruka’s care. “Just… continue like it’s… normal”. Please don’t be gentle with me anymore, he bit down his lips to endure this, please let me live through this panic attack.
“Nii-san, you know that I need you here.” He reassured, “You always know that, right?”
“You…” Please, stop being like that.
“Just this movie.” Haruka gave him a soft smile, even though it looked so hurtful. “Nii-san, just this once. Please.”
Haruki’s eyes finally returned to the movie screen, not even caring about the fact that his hand was caressed by the one sitting next to him. He would once again run away from Haruka, but maybe someday else. He would escape right away. Sooner or later.
You may need me, Haruka, but I will run away whenever I want. Another day, then another, and another…