Chapter Text
Izuku sat still, glued to his seat. Katsuki refused to move as well.
“Get up boys, I’m not going to tell you twice,” Mr. Aizawa groaned. Izuku reluctantly got up first and sat on the empty seat next to Katsuki. Despite their slight progress, no one spoke. I made the effort to walk over. No way am I talking first. With the remaining minutes of class draining Izuku swallowed his stubbornness and turned his head toward Katsuki.
“I know you don’t want to work with me–”
“Damn right”
“...Can I talk?”
Katsuki rolled his eyes.
“Which is why I was gonna say, before I was so rudely interrupted, that we can research sites or people on our own time, text each other our findings, then meet and get it over with in like a week”
“Three days”
“What?”
“Did I fucking stutter? I said three days. Three days three places. I wanna get this shit over with”
“Kacchan I don’t want to do this project as much as you but can we please not half-ass it? I care about my grades”
“And I do too dipshit? We’re not half-assing anything”
Izuku paused and took a deep breath. Don’t overreact. Don’t get mad. Just don't react at all.
“Is your phone number still the same? So I can text you about the project?” he added.
“You’re not texting me for shit.”
“How are we supposed to communicate about the project if I can’t text you?”
“Use your mouth dumbass, I thought you were smart?”
Deep breathes.
“ Kacchan, that’s highly inefficient. If you want to get this done in three days I have to text you”
Katsuki scoffed, “Do what you want then”
The bell rang and Katsuki flew out of his seat and out the door, leaving Izuku to contemplate his current predicament. He packed up his materials and gave a small wave to Mr. Aizawa as he always found it important to build a friendly relationship with his teachers. Muscle memory carried Izuku to his locker where he replaced one notebook with another and placed a heavy textbook into his backpack. Before he could lock it up his phone vibrated in his pocket. A message from Shoto!! appeared over his lock screen of himself and his friends at the bowling alley downtown for Iida’s birthday.
Shoto!!: What are you doing after school today?
Izuku giggled at his perfect grammar. It was only the second day so he didn’t have much homework, therefore he just planned on heading home and relaxing for the rest of the day.
He wrote back, nothing tbh.
Shoto!!: Would you like to get something to eat with me?
He finally locked his locker and leaned against it as he replied, sure! where should i meet you?
Shoto!!: At the student parking lot. My car is near the back.
After sending him a thumbs-up emoji, Izuku giddily made his way to meet Shoto. He felt that things were starting to look up for him.
Izuku could describe freshman year in one word. Rough. He was awkward and somehow never found the right words to say. People stood clear of him, not only because of his demeanor but because Katsuki told others to. Not many students from Izuku’s and Katsuki’s middle school attended UA. It was on the outskirts of town so most went to the high school in the next town over. He was excited to get a fresh start and make new friends who had no previous biases. But then word started to get around.
“Oh, Deku? He’s so weird. He used to follow me around like a puppy in middle school. It didn’t matter how many times I told him to stop following me he still did it”
“That’s so weird…”
“I never knew that about him”
“Oh wow, he seemed so nice too”
Nobody had even asked him about his side of the story. He didn’t follow around Katsuki. Sure he did linger for a week but that was only because he was confused why the other wanted to cut him off because he had done nothing . Nothing to warrant such an abrupt end to their friendship. Did he upset Katsuki because he told him he saw a future with him? A future as friends. He stayed awake every night worried that he accidentally let something slip and forgot. After a week Izuku understood that Katsuki didn’t want to be friends. He didn’t know why but he accepted either way. Their daily interactions hadn’t halted though. Katsuki would pick on Izuku, mostly verbally but there were times when things got physical, never at Katsuki’s hands but perpetrated by his followers– or friends. Freshman year was supposed to be his new start but with his charm and looks, Katsuki twisted his story before Izuku could tell anybody his.
Some could see straight through the blonde’s lies though.
“You’re Izuku, right?”
He flinched at the sound of his real name. He was getting used to being called Deku every day. Izuku nodded his head and observed the mannerisms of the brunette before him. Her eyes were soft with no hidden malice. She wore an upturned and friendly smile.
“What’s the deal with that Bakugo guy?”
His stomach churned.
“What do you mean…?”
“It’s just that he says you’re weird but I haven’t exactly seen you doing anything that warrants that label…”
Izuku awkwardly laughed, “Oh… I don’t really know. Kacchan is just like that I guess”
From then on Izuku stuck by Ochako’s side, picking each other for partner work, eating together during lunch, and exploring the town together like he used to do with Katsuki. Eventually, they got paired up with Iida during group work and the trio clicked perfectly like magnets with opposite poles.
Without realizing it, Izuku had stumbled into the student parking lot. Several students had already left but there were still some stragglers talking with each other, not quite ready to let the fun end. Katsuki and his friend group were among the stragglers. Izuku had always thought they were too nice for him. In freshman year he couldn’t even imagine how they had stuck with him. But as his resentment faded he realized why. He experienced it himself, how Katsuki could make a person feel like they were living a life worth living for; Izuku knew the difference between being alive and living thanks to the other.
He awkwardly waved back at Mina and Denki while speedwalking to Shoto’s car. The other looked up from his phone and smiled. Izuku tried his best to ignore a probing gaze as he climbed into the passenger seat of Shoto’s cold car. The smell of fresh mint stung his nose as Shoto shifted the gear from parking to driving.
“What are you hungry for?” Shoto asked.
Izuku felt indifferent, “Whatever you want”
He knew that Katsuki hated it when he said that. I don’t know or whatever you want. But he reminded himself that he wasn’t with Katsuki, he was with Shoto, which made him feel somewhat guilty that the blonde never escaped his thoughts. Katsuki would do this, Katsuki likes this, if Katsuki was here then this, Katsuki looped in his mind day in and day out. Some habits are hard to break.
“Well, how hungry are you?”
“Not that hungry… I could go for something sweet!”
“We should get ice cream and taiyaki”
A wave of nostalgia washed over Izuku—hot summers and buzzing cicadas. The smell of sweat clung in the air and practically every AC in town ran from day to night. Kids took refuge in stores and hardly any work got done. The whole town operated under the same consensus– the heat grew too unbearable to do anything substantial. On one of these do-nothing days, Izuku and Katsuki found themselves wandering town once more, still having yet to terrorize every store owner and turn over every unknown stone. A colorful neon flashing sign caught Katsuki’s attention while a long line piqued Izuku’s interest.
“It looks like it goes down the whole block!” Izuku exclaimed.
“That’s because it does,” the blonde stated matter-of-factly. Izuku could already read Katsuki’s mind through the unrestful and slowly growing irritated expression on his face. We are not waiting in that line. To his disappointment, Izuku sighed and said nothing, continuing to trail behind Katsuki. The pair hid under a tree and watched as the town sat absolutely still. They talked until the sun set and the heat became somewhat bearable.
“Can we check out that store now, Kacchan?”
“Only if the line isn’t long! And I’m not paying for you this time”
Izuku stuck both hands into his pockets and felt around. Empty. He pouted and stared past Katsuki.
“Tough luck. I’ll tell you how the ice cream tastes, if I’m feeling nice I’ll let you have a bite!”
That’s good enough for me. Fortunately, everyone in town had their fill of ice cream earlier in the day. Katsuki strolled up to the counter, he was still short at this age and stood on his tippy toes as he ordered.
“One cup of matcha and two oreo-filled taiyaki, make it snappy” Katsuki barked before turning to Izuku, “What flavor do you want?”
Izuku knew not to mention Katsuki’s change of heart lest he changes his mind again, “I want ube”
The blonde dug into his pocket and pulled out some bills and coins and handed them to the cashier. The duo waltzed over to the fan in the store and began to hum and make noises, giggling at how the fan made them sound robotic. Once their order was ready they took off outside and sat on the curb as the stars above twinkled softly.
Izuku was only on his third bite of ice cream. Katsuki was halfway done and trying to steal scoops from his.
“I just want to see what the ube tastes like!”
“We can come back next time and you can order it Kacchan…”
“And if I don’t like it? Are you gonna pay me back? Didn’t think so, so let me try yours right now!”
He huffed and handed his cup of ice cream to Katsuki. Instead of using his spoon he lowered his face into the cup and took a big bite.
“Gross!” Izuku laughed. Katsuki’s mouth had a ring of purple around it.
“It’s too sweet,” the blonde shrugged, handing the cup back to Izuku.
“I thought you liked sweets?”
“I just said it was too sweet. I like sweets but not when it’s too sweet. But I do make exceptions…”
“Like what?” Izuku blinked with curious eyes. Katsuki quickly looked away as his cheeks flushed.
“Nothing.”
The memory faded as houses morphed into the shops of downtown. Shoto parked directly in front of the ice cream shop, which was empty. Izuku guessed that fall wasn’t a big ice cream season for the people of the town.
“One of you better be paying for my ice cream,” Katsuki commented as he pulled into a parking spot.
“Whaaaaaaat,” Denki whined.
“What? You thought my rides were free? I'm not anybody’s damn chauffeur!”
“I will gladly pay for it, Kats!” Kirishima beamed, proudly patting on the pockets of his shorts where his wallet rested.
“You already give me gas money, Dunce Face or Raccoon Eyes owe me, hell, if you two are too broke I won’t judge if you pool your money together”
Katsuki met no opposition. He had a point, after all, if the group wanted to go anywhere he always drove. Distance was never a problem because Katsuki had his license.
Footsteps quickened as they rounded the corner and neared the shop. Consistency in Katsuki’s life was key. Which is why he kept the same order for years, matcha ice cream, and if he felt especially hungry he’d get two pieces of taiyaki.
He glanced at a black car sitting in front of the shop. His footsteps slowed but his friend’s did not. The bell dangling on the front door rang as they waltzed in. Katsuki did not feel hungry anymore.
“Midoriya and Todoroki!” Raccoon Eyes squealed, “What a small world!”
We live in the same fucking town.
Mina stayed behind and chatted with the two while the rest made their way to the counter. Katsuki stole a glance and took note of the ube ice cream sitting untouched in front of Izuku.
Maybe they both valued consistency. So much so, on Katsuki’s behalf, or could it be both, that despite the hate he feels for Izuku he could never bear to truly get rid of him. He was like a constant, though in Katsuki’s world, he was more famous than Planck’s.
No.
Izuku was worse than any pest. Mosquitoes were jealous of his ability to stick around despite being unwanted.
He blinked and his friends were gone. They sat with Izuku and Todoroki, leaving a space for him across from the first. He sat reluctantly.
Eventually, the ice cream was ready. Despite feeling ill, Katsuki ate his. He wouldn’t let it go to waste like so many other opportunities in his life. He knew they were all speaking to each other despite tuning them out. Most likely small talk catch-up bullshit that doesn't mean anything but we’re cool with each other and I tolerate you.
A phone call interrupted their conversation. Izuku and Mina exited the booth to let Todoroki out. He stepped outside and immediately looked upset.
“Are you two dating?” Mina giggly asked.
“No!” Izuku blurted.
“Well, are you two on a date then?”
“Uhh…” he swallowed and looked down at his melting ice cream, “No”
“You sound unsure… which means there is something going on between you two!”
She began to poke and prod at Izuku, not physically, but emotionally, asking him one too many personal questions for their level of closeness.
“Quit it, Raccoon Eyes.”
“You’re scaring Midoriya with all your questions,” Kirishima added.
Even if she wanted to ask more, stupid Icy Hot stepped back inside.
“Could I steal Izuku from you guys?”
“Go ahead, we’re the ones who stole him from you” Mina giggled again.
A pang tugged at Katsuki. Her word choice bothered him. Why did it bother him? He stirred the melted ice cream at the bottom of his cup.
“Sorry everyone, something came up and I have to leave”
He stole a glance in Izuku’s direction. Would he leave too? Izuku sat back down and the other left. Guess not.
“You’re staying?” Dunce face asked, guzzling down the liquid ice cream after.
“It seemed urgent, I didn’t want to bother him by forcing him to drop me off…”
Holy fucking wimp. God forbid he speaks up for himself or inconveniences anyone.
Everyone’s cups were empty. Kirishima got up and volunteered to throw everyone’s cups away.
“How are you getting home Midoriya, don’t you live closer to school than downtown?”
Izuku nodded but said nothing.
“There’s no space in my car,” Katsuki stated firmly.
“Oh can it, Bakugo. You always make us walk home!” Raccoon Eyes huffed with her arms crossed.
“It’s fine, I’ll walk”
“What? Are you too good for my car?”
“No! I just—“
The group had made their way outside now, though only through Kirishima pushing them out while apologizing to the cashier for all the noise.
“What’s so bad about my car?”
“Nothing! You didn’t even want to drive me in the first place!”
“When did I say that? I just said there’s no space”
“Your car has five seats? It would be me, you, Mina, Denki, and Kirishima…”
“Well now it’s just you and me because Shitty Hair, Dunce Face, and Raccoon Eyes left”
Izuku paused and looked around, finally noticing that the others had already started on their trek home.
Katsuki watched as Izuku bit his lip. I win. They walked silently back to the blonde’s car. Izuku headed to the backseat but Katsuki grabbed his wrist and stopped him.
“What am I, your fucking chauffeur? Sit in the front.”
Katsuki stared as the other twiddled his thumbs. He sported a look of surprise on his face. Yes Deku, you can sit in the front with me like a big boy. I’d rather have that than advertise to the whole town that I’m your little chauffeur who drives you around wherever you please. Katsuki circled around to the driver’s seat, if Izuku wanted to make a run for it then so be it. But no, he sat awkwardly in the front passenger seat.
As the car started, so did its radio. Never Let Me Down Again by Depeche Mode danced throughout the car, replacing awkward silence with ironic lyrics.
I’m taking a ride with my best friend.
This seemed to amuse Izuku, who cracked a smile while humming along to the music.
I hope he never lets me down again.
He knows where he’s taking me.
Taking me where I want to be.
I’m taking a ride with my best friend.
Katsuki rolled the window down. He hated the sound of wind rushing by but Depeche Mode wasn’t cutting it. He yearned for something else to distract him. More noise. Maybe gum. He reached for the center console and popped a stick of watermelon gum into his mouth. It was the generic brand that attacked your mouth with a burst of flavor for ten seconds then absolute blandness the rest of the time you chewed. What’s another of the five senses? He rubbed a finger against the bumps of the steering wheel. Another one. He repeated everything he saw in his head. A tree. Kids riding bikes outside. Izuku. A cloud in the shape of a rabbit. A red car. Houses. Izuku. A plane soaring high above. A weathered street sign. Izuku. A white car. Izuku.
What’s wrong with me? Izuku sat still, mostly gazing out the window, sometimes sneaking a glance at Katsuki. But he looked so comfortable in his car. Why? Was it because of Todoroki? Did he have a calming effect on Izuku? Were they secretly dating? Is that why he had no reason to be awkward around Katsuki? Did Izuku not like him anymore? But why would that matter? Did Izuku’s past crush on him feed into his complex? Maybe.
Katsuki pulled into his own driveway and turned off the engine. He sighed and rested his head on the car seat.
“Get out”
He closed his eyes and heard the car door open and then close. Moments later, he opened them and stepped out.
“Katsuki!” a tired warm voice called out.
“Hi, Auntie.”
“Oh, I haven’t seen you in forever! Look at how tall you’ve grown! How come I never see you anymore?”
Katsuki blinked. Behind her, Izuku tried to slip away but she grabbed his shoulders and continued.
“You should come inside! Your mom is already in here drinking tea with me”
“I have a lot of homework—“
“That’s right! You’re smart, maybe you can help Izuku with his”
This woman is persistent.
“Brat, don’t give Inko a hard time and come inside,” his mother’s scratchy voice criticized. She stood on the Midoriya’s porch with her arms crossed.
Reluctantly, Katsuki walked inside the house. It felt extra warm, and the air felt sticky, likely due to whatever Inko was cooking. Izuku had already slipped away. It was better that way. His mother and Inko sat on the green velvet couch. Tea plates with humble homemade sandwiches and cookies littered the coffee table. Was this something they’ve always done?
As he sat down the hag’s voice sliced through the air.
“You’re ruining our girl's night. Go help Izuku with his homework.”
Katsuki huffed, rolling his eyes, and stomped off. What was he, Izuku’s tutor? Instead, he wandered into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. Slipping out his phone from his pocket, Katsuki decided to scroll on social media. He had two accounts. One public, he basically followed back anyone who followed him first. His other account, his main one, was private. He only followed his immediate friend group. The first was just for appearances, he amassed somewhat of a following just by being himself. Katsuki Bakugo. He also used it to keep tabs on people. What’s so bad with staying up to date? Deep down Katsuki was somewhat of a gossip, only because he liked to stay in the know. God forbid someone mentions something happening at school and he doesn’t know about it. That would be embarrassing. He quickly scrolled through people’s stories, stopping on one that pictured two ice creams. Ube and milk tea. It was Izuku’s account. He must’ve posted a picture of their–
Of their hangout.
A knock.
“Brat, get out of the bathroom!”
He swung the door open and crossed his arms. The hag grabbed him by the wrist and threw him into Izuku’s room, who was lying on his bed. The nerd suddenly stumbled up as the hag slammed the door close, trapping him inside. Katsuki regained his balance and locked eyes with Izuku, who was hiding his phone under his pillow.
“What. Am I interrupting your call with your boyfriend?”
“He is not my boyfriend…” the other mumbled, “...and we are not calling”
“You won’t be saying that for long…” the blonde muttered under his breath.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
Izuku simply blinked.
“You two seem real close.”
“We’re friends.”
“You wrote him a letter”
“And?”
“Doesn’t that mean you loved him at some point? He knows since you wrote it in his damn letter.”
For some reason, the nerd’s face grew red.
“What?” Katsuki pried.
“It’s nothing.”
“Seriously, what.”
Izuku laid back down and turned his back to Katsuki.
“ What. Speak before you piss me off and I make you talk.”
“I didn’t write that in his letter.”
Oh.
It was in my letter. Did he only write that in my letter? Why did he only write it in my letter? No. I don’t know that. He could’ve just not written it in Todoroki’s letter. It’s probably in everyone else’s letter.
“Manwhore.”
“Excuse me, what?! ”
Izuku sat up on his bed again.
“That’s what you are.”
“Why?!” he squealed a few pitches higher.
“Writing all those damn letters.”
“That’s the least whorish activity anyone could ever do…” he mumbled, “...it’s romantic”
Gross.
“Yeah well be romantic far away from me.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do”
“So you are trying to get with that half-and-half bastard?”
“And what if I am?”
What if he is?
Katsuki huffed and sat down at Izuku’s desk. He picked up the notebook that sat on it, flipping to a random page.
“Dont–”
A hand abruptly gripped his shoulder with so much force that the chair swiveled around. One hand gripped his shoulder and another gripped his wrist. Why is he so strong?
“Don’t touch me,” Katsuki growled, attempting to break away from his grasp. He couldn’t. Their movements mimicked a match of arm wrestling, with each person gaining some leverage and then faltering again. Izuku’s tight grip on him eventually caused him to drop the notebook. It landed, open, and Katsuki wanted to see what Izuku didn’t want him to look at so bad. Realizing what he was doing, Izuku suddenly covered his eyes. Darkness filled his vision and warmth met his face. His hands are so warm. Katsuki leaned forward to push Izuku off of him, realizing his mistake when the chair tipped forward as well, causing the two to crash down onto the floor.
One hand was still gripping his wrist. Izuku’s other hand sprawled out against the floor. He was on top of the other, pinning him down. He moved quickly to use one hand to secure Izuku’s wrist, holding it down above his head. With his free hand, he grabbed the notebook as Izuku squirmed under him.
“Kacchan… please”
What.
His face felt warm. It’s because we’re wrestling. That’s it.
“Don’t open it, please…”
Katsuki held the flimsy thing in his hand.
“It’s really not nice to look through things that aren’t your—”
“Shut up.”
Katsuki lowered his grip so Izuku’s bounded hands covered his own mouth. Finally, he opened the notebook to a random page. It was just notes. The fuck? What is so bad in here that he doesn’t want me to see? The blonde flipped the page. Notes. He flipped another. Notes. And another.
What.
Finally, there was something worth looking at. Himself? Sketched lightly in pencil was him. Lots of him. In the margins. Anywhere where there weren’t notes. His side profile mostly, but also some front facing, ¾’s view. A few weren’t just his head, but halfbodies. There was careful attention to detail, mostly on correct anatomy. His muscles were drawn neatly, precisely, with faded marks where Izuku must’ve erased mistakes. Flipping the page there were a couple more drawings of him. Izuku squirmed more under him, his yells muffled by his hands. On the next page was a poem.
The blazing sun
Ruins our fun
Though it’s still a happy memory.
A neon sign
But a long winding line
Discourages you from sweetness.
Under the shade
Our rowdiness fades
I was just happy to be with you.
The heat dies
You went for the prize
You really do care for me?
Two ice creams
My smile beams
A moment of just us.
Despite too much sweetness
Your comment afterward was my weakness
I want to have ice cream with you again.
Having seen enough Katsuki closed the notebook and set it down. He released his grip and got off Izuku. He sat on the chair again, eyes locked onto the floor. Izuku called out his name, but it sounded muffled. Thoughts whirled around his mind. Why are there drawings of me in his notebook? Are they recent? Does he still–
The poem.
He suddenly remembered why it sounded familiar. A distant forgotten memory. Izuku and him were wreaking havoc on the town. Filled with unrest, they explored downtown as the sun beat down on their backs. A neon sign caught his eye, then the long line. No way am I waiting in that. Despite knowing how much Izuku wanted some he forced him to retreat under the shade of a tree until the moon replaced the sun and the temperature became bearable. Katsuki told him he wouldn’t buy him ice cream, but that was a lie. He really wanted to buy Izuku that ice cream because he looked so happy while peering at what could’ve warranted that line. They sat outside. Katsuki pressured Izuku to let him try his ice cream. It was better than his… but he didn’t want to admit that Izuku had better taste than him. He told him it was too sweet and that he remembered clearly, and he was surprised to realize he told Izuku that he made exceptions. There was one thing that he liked even if it was too sweet. Too sweet for his own good.
“Kacchan.”
He looked up finally. Izuku was crying.
“Get out.”
“Huh?”
“Get out!”
Izuku pulled him off the chair and dragged him to the door, attempting to shove him out.
“Don't touch me,” Katsuki growled. He shoved Izuku back. His face was a wet mess of tears and snot.
“Get out of my room!”
“Quiet before the hags come running–”
The situation reminded him of all the times he made Izuku cry (it wasn’t a hard task) and his old hag would reprimand him. Mostly the time out corner, other times solitary in his room which wasn’t really a punishment, more like a blessing. Worst of all was when he had to hug Izuku or write him an apology letter.
Katsuki relented and stumbled out, the door slamming behind him. He sighed and bumped into the hag.
“I was just about to get you, are you ready?”
“Been.”
“Don’t give me attitude.”
Once back inside his house, which he should’ve been in hours ago, Katsuki flopped onto his bed and sprawled out. Why is everything so confusing? Today was such a shitshow. Why did it seem like the half-and-half bastard had it all figured out? Was he not grappling with confusing feelings after reading Izuku’s letter? He couldn’t even repeat those three words. He couldn’t even think about them. He doesn’t know how to feel and he hates that. He hates not knowing.
The blonde sat up and glanced out his window. Izuku’s blinds were uncharacteristically closed, leaving him with no insight on what the other was doing. Fuck this . Katsuki wasn’t going to let that shitface sour his mood. Getting up, he headed downstairs to make himself some food. His hag rarely cooked anymore, only when the three were all together, which was rare. He guessed that drifting apart accompanied growing up, but it’s not like his family was always the closest– or healthy.
After scrounging up all the ingredients he could Katsuki put two slices of sourdough bread on a pan over the stove to toast them. He scrambled an egg in another pan, sliced some tomatoes, and avocados, and cooked some bacon. He assembled the ingredients into a sandwich, grabbed a bag of chips, and poured himself a glass of water. Katsuki rarely drank soda, his body was a temple, and too much sugar would taint its foundation.
Back upstairs, he set his plate and cup down on his desk and shuffled over to his bed to grab his phone. A message.
Shitty nerd: hi kacchan, i know you didn’t want me texting u but too bad. i found a place for our research project, we could go there or if you have a place already we could also go with your choice.
Katsuki typed, I didn’t do any damn research yet.
Shitty nerd: we can go to my place ig. when do you want to go?
He responded, tmr so I can get this shit over w.
Izuku left him on read. Asshole.
Katsuki set his phone down and picked up his sandwich. His desk rested in front of his other window, allowing him a clear view of the road. As he looked down to take another bite, Katsuki’s eyes flickered back to the window, and he noticed a green mess of hair walking down the street.
Izuku walked with a steady pace, one wired earbud in his ear, playing Heaven or Las Vegas by Cocteau Twins. He went out to clear his mind clouded by several things. One, did his hangout with Shoto count as a date? Two, why does Katsuki care so much about his love life? Third, how does he feel about his drawings and poems? Fourth, being pinned down is a nice experience surprisingly.
It was surprising in the moment, somewhat uncomfortable but only because it was new. It felt strangely romantic, though that was far from Katsuki’s intentions. Hands bounded and mouth shushed. For a couple of seconds, he could feel the warmth radiating off Katsuki’s skin. Skin-to-skin contact. They haven’t had that in so long. No Izuku! You have something going on with Shoto. You can’t feel like this again.
He slapped his cheeks with his hands and sped up his pace. The contact meant nothing. As the mumbling of Cocteau Twins faded, Izuku arrived at the park. He set his sights on the swings which were empty. The entire park was empty in fact. The sun was just starting to quiet past the horizon, taking every word spoken today with it. He lowered himself onto the swing seat, which squished his legs together, a sign that he was way too big for it. Carrying on, he moved the swing back with his legs then lifted them up, allowing himself to surge forward. The swings were supposed to be a distraction, but they only brought back bittersweet memories.
“I can swing way higher than you, Deku!” Katsuki laughed, swinging forward and back with great speed. Meanwhile, Izuku couldn’t figure out how to keep himself swinging without it slowing to a halt.
“I just don’t have the m…the muh…”
“The momentum?” Katsuki finished for him, “We just had our quiz today and you’re telling me you still don’t know momentum”
“All the equations are so confusing… I always do the math wrong”
“It’s just an equation, all the work is done for you”
Izuku sighed, accepting that he would never understand physics or how to swing.
“Can you help me?” Izuku asked with puppy dog eyes. Katsuki tsked.
“What! Do you want me to push you?” he asked, before Izuku could adamantly nod he continued, “Cause no way in hell am I ever doing that!”
“Please Kacchan! Just for a bit”
“Fine.” he huffed, “in exchange for your Charizard Pokemon card”
Was being pushed on the swing for a couple of seconds worth giving up his Charizard Pokemon card? Looking back on it, definitely not, but at the moment it seemed reasonable.
“Okay!”
Katsuki hopped off the seat of his swing and marched over behind Izuku. He tightly held onto the chain, worried about how hard Katsuki would push him. Surprisingly, it was a light gentle push, just enough to swing him forward a couple of feet. He smiled as he swung back once more and frowned when the swing slowed to a halt.
“You were only going to push me once…?”
“You never specified how many times!”
“Push me for a couple of minutes, please Kacchan!”
“Hmph”
He swung forward again, feeling a cold breeze hit his face, and holding onto the chains a little less tight.
“Extend your legs out when you’re swinging back and bring them in when you’re forward.”
Izuku did just that, extending his legs out when he swung back and pulling them in once he surged forward. He started to gain air, swinging higher and higher each time, seeing more and more of the town from above. He started to worry that Katsuki was pushing too hard and that he would eventually fall off, but the view from above distracted him.
“I’m going so high Kacchan!” he commented then looked down. Katsuki had stopped pushing him.
“Yeah, and you did it all by yourself!”
“When did you stop pushing me!”
“Right after I told you to extend your legs and bring them in”
Izuku realized he swung so high by himself. Without thinking, he jumped off the swing, taking Katsuki by surprise, and ran over to him. He crashed into him with a hug, taking both of them to the ground.
“Thank you, Kacchan”
“Get off of me!”
Despite the blonde’s protests, Izuku only squeezed him tighter, and Katsuki could only lie on the ground and accept it.
In contrast to that long-gone memory, Izuku dully swung forward and back in tiny increments. It only served to soothe his aching heart and racing mind, what was he to do when he had something good with Shoto but secretly pined for his first ever love? He could imagine his friends already, telling him to move on. Shoto is a better candidate, they would say. And they were right. On the surface, Shoto was everything Izuku could ask for in a partner. But as he looks back at the past, memories that seemed small, insignificant even, reminded him that his Katsuki was once caring. His exterior and tone would say the opposite, but the intention of his actions begged to differ.
That Katsuki was gone.
Izuku had been so preoccupied in his mind that he failed to notice the figure making his way over and taking a seat on the swing beside him, only noticing when he caught them swinging in his peripheral vision.
An indifferent, unreadable, expression. Deep cherry eyes, long eyelashes, and spiky blonde hair. Hands covered in rough calluses perfect for withstanding the rugged chains of the swings.
Katsuki said nothing. Neither did Izuku. They swung in silence, taking in each other’s presence. Izuku joined him by putting in effort into his swings, extending his legs out when he rushed forward, and pulling them in to bring him back. They were in sync.
Eventually, Katsuki slowed down and so did Izuku.
“What are you doing out here,” Katsuki asked indifferently.
“Thinking”
“Bout’ what”
Izuku paused before responding, “Love”
“Gross”
He laughed lightly, “We’re almost adults and you think love is gross?”
“You calling me a child?”
“I’m calling you immature,” he replied while smiling. Only Katsuki would act like a little boy when discussing such topics. He knew somewhere inside the other could love, because he had done it before even if he wasn’t aware of it.
“What are you doing out here”
“You don’t own this damn park.”
So he’s not going to tell me. Izuku hummed in response.
“What do you think I should do?”
Katsuki stared at him.
“Uhm, with Shoto”
The blonde broke eye contact and stared off toward the road ahead of him.
“He’s a great guy, really sweet, attentive… attractive…“
“But.”
“…but something is missing. It feels too perfect in a way. Does someone like me really deserve this— deserve him?”
The other’s silence scared Izuku. Was this beyond their boundaries? Beyond the state of their relationship? Most definitely. Days before the pair were practically strangers, and here they were swinging lightly and talking about love.
“You know what type of person you are, Deku?” Katsuki continued before he could reply, “the type of person to self-sabotage. You have something good with that damn bastard. Of course you want to question it.”
Is that true?
“People like you crave trouble and pain. You get bored without it.”
Am I really like that?
“So I should see where things go between Shoto and I?”
Katsuki finally turned to look at him again. Eyes blank and mouth pressed into a straight line. His eyes flickered down then back up.
“Do what you want.”
Izuku didn’t know what he expected. He sighed and looked at the gray road meeting with the orange sky.
“I should get home”
He hopped off the swing, the tanbark crunched as he walked.
“Hey. You’re walking home?”
“Yeah… I walked here”
“I’m going home right now…”
“Are you offering me a ride?” Izuku smiled, knowing that the other would blow up and deny it, somehow spinning it to make it seem like Izuku had asked first.
“See this is what I mean by you crave pain.”
“If you’re offering, I'll take it!”
Katsuki said nothing and stomped over to his car. Izuku trailed behind and hopped into the passenger seat like he did earlier today. As the car turned on a soft tune began to play, something he’s never heard before.
She looks just like an angel
When she walks across the room
She shines tonight
Her golden light is everything I need
As the instrumental played Izuku spoke up.
“What song is this?”
Katsuki grabbed his phone and turned it on, “ Love Songs on the Radio by Mojave 3”
“It’s nice”
Lovers all around her
She wears them like her jewels
My friend said she’s all he needs to feel alive
Katsuki pulled into his driveway and hopped out, Izuku followed. He closed the door and went to thank Katsuki but he was already gone. Accepting that the blonde already knew Izuku was grateful, he made his way inside, greeting his mom and kissing her on the cheek, then making his way to his room before collapsing on his bed. His room felt dark and cold so he opened his blinds, abruptly remembering why they were closed. Looking up, he saw Katsuki’s blinds were uncharacteristically opened and he already sat on his bed with a phone. Izuku grabbed his math notebook and textbook and sat back on his bed. The sound of his phone ringing prevented him from even opening his textbook. He answered without thinking and was greeted by the sound of Shoto’s soft spoken voice.
“Hello Izuku”
“Hi, Shoto! What’s up?”
“I just wanted to apologize for leaving earlier. Some family issues came up. If it was anything else I would’ve stayed.”
“I understand! Even if it wasn’t family-related I would still understand!” Izuku reassured him. He heard Shoto laugh on the other end.
“Thanks. What are you up to?”
“Just math homework”
“Should I call you back?”
Izuku glanced out his window and up toward Katsuki’s room. He swore he just saw the blonde glancing down.
“Yeah it shouldn’t take that long”
The couple said their goodbyes and hung up. He felt bad for hanging up when he most definitely could’ve called and done his homework, but there were new things to think about. Do I really crave pain? His childhood friendship with Katsuki would point to yes, any other child would stop being friends with someone who acted so much like a bully. Izuku wanted to prove Katsuki wrong. He didn’t crave pain, he just needed more time to be sure of his feelings. Katsuki made it hard to do so. If he wants to be done with this project as soon as possible and get rid of me then so be it. The blonde was no good for him anyway.