Chapter Text
Aizawa Shouta was a quiet child ever since he’d been born. He was so quiet, in fact, that the nurses and OBGYN delivering him were convinced for a brief moment that he didn’t make it. No wailing, no tears or snot post birth; his mum clutched his father’s hand as they watched the medical staff try to find a pulse in the tiny body.
Which wasn’t difficult at all. Shouta was, by all accounts, a completely healthy newborn, with above average reaction times and all results within norm. He had a patch of black hair at widow’s peak, and when he opened his eyes, two black dots stared at the doctor. The moment he was handed to his mum, Akio, after being washed and changed, he latched onto her and started sucking the milk.
All in all, he was a completely normal newborn. Just silent.
Not much changed with time. He barely made any unnecessary sounds, from the baby to toddler, to preschooler. His parents swore they’d almost gone insane trying to figure out his needs because he would never start crying when he was hungry or needed his diaper changed.
Aside from that, he was developing according to all the milestones. Thee moment they got worried was at six months, he wasn’t making a peep, no babbling or squealing, almost nothing. They took him to the specialist but all the other tests didn’t cause a concern; the doctors decided to keep observing.
Aizawas were not satisfied with the decision, believing the doctors to overlook the problem. It couldn’t have been normal if their son wasn’t communicating at all. They were seen by multiple specialists over the course of the next months but none could come up with an explanation why their son was so quiet.
Only one doctor suggested it could have had something to do with Shouta’s soulbond, though he wasn’t sure how it could affect him exactly. Unfortunately, there was no obvious soulmark on Shouta; he either had a mark that blended easily or, even worse, had an exceptionally rare invisible bond, making it nearly impossible to investigate that option. Not until he met his soulmate, that was. It was the only explanation left.
It was a couple weeks before Shouta’s first birthday that he actually spoke for the first time. It was October Saturday and the family was sitting at the table eating breakfast, Shouta in the high chair, a bowl of okayu in front of him.
“Mama,” he said, making grabby hands at his mother who gasped and dropped the bowl of rice she was holding. Both parents jumped to their feet and Akio picked Shouta up, hugging him; Jun embraced both of them and they cried happy tears, making Shouta vocalise his protest at being drenched.
He hadn't become the most talkative or expressive child after that moment but the progress was significant. He jumped from non-verbal communication to talking in full sentences, if there was a need. The doctors were baffled but since Shouta caught up with the language milestones, they saw no reason to worry. Aizawas were wary to accept the diagnosis – or lack thereof – but given that Shouta seemed to be developing without further issues, they were finally able to relax and began enjoying their parenthood.
It meant that instead of visiting new specialists, further and further from their home in Tokyo, they could start going to play in a park nearby their flat. Go for walks and picnics in metropolitan gardens, where Shouta seemed to be especially intrigued by the splash of water in streams and waters. The year Shouta turned six, they decided to go to Tokyo Disneyland.
Were they worried Shouta wasn’t running around, laughing and jumping, and shrieking in joy like other kids his age? Of course. However, whenever they asked him if he were happy or enjoying himself, he’d nod, and sometimes ask if they could repeat a particular activity. He’d bring up their outings later as something he enjoyed. In a last ditch attempt, they took him to the psychologist, to make sure they weren’t missing anything and he was depressed but their recommended therapist didn’t find anything concerning.
At the end of the day, they were a happy family.
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Shouta loved his family. He really did. He liked spending time with them, and going on trips. He enjoyed nature from early childhood, metropolitan parks with their ponds with pretty ripples on the surface, and the peony garden in Tsukuba. His favourite was probably Akigawa Valley, where Akigawa River was shallow and he could wade there since he was a tiny baby. The feeling of crispy cold, crystal clear water was definitely one of his favourites. He could definitely say he liked them.
Sure, maybe he wasn’t the most expressive or excitable child, easily agreeing to most of the things his parents proposed.
With time, he realised that perhaps he didn’t really feel like he should. As he started growing up and going to school, seeing his classmates get excited, cry over broken toys or argue over stolen pencils; seeing them express their feelings so freely, he realised that he didn’t feel the need to act like them. When he thought about it, he came to the conclusion that he never really felt his emotions. He knew how he should feel but they always seemed distant, like he was looking at them through foggy glass.
It felt as if he were stuck in a permanent winter, the cold chilling him to the bones and stifling, ice covering his heart.
The one time he believed he came anywhere close to feeling what his peers felt on a regular basis was in elementary school, shortly after third grade started. It was Golden Week and Shouta and his parents went for a picnic in Tsukuba, the peonies in full bloom. His parents were sitting on the blanket, putting out bentou they prepared, karaage, kakiage, and onigiri, while Shouta wandered away, gently caressing the soft petals with his fingertips.
He didn’t realise he was almost at the edge of the flowerfield when he accidentally bumped into a kid his height.
“Sorry,” Shouta muttered but he was frowning. He wasn’t sure what was going on but it felt like something inside him… he felt like he was being warmed up by a gentle spring sun after a long, dark, cold winter, something inside him melting.
He raised his head to look at the boy in front of him and was stunned by the shade of green of the boy’s eyes.
“H-hi,” he stuttered, his cheeks getting red at the quizzical look the boy gave him.
The blinding smile he received in return was worth… everything. The boy picked out a white carnation that Shouta knew was growing further into the park, from the peony bouquet he was holding (could they pick the peonies from the garden?) and handed it to Shouta. Shouta raised his hands in front of his chest, staring at the offered flower. The boy was still smiling at him, when Shouta glanced at him, and he gingerly took the flower, the boy's grin widening.
“Bye~!”
Just like that, the kid was gone, leaving Shouta feeling…
Feeling.
He came back to his parents, one hand holding the carnation the boy gave him, the other rubbing his chest. He wasn’t sure what that sensation was but he felt…he wasn’t sure what he was feeling but it was pleasant and made him feel warm all over. He felt like… like he wanted to do things. He wanted to laugh, to run around. He wanted to find the boy and play with him.
His parents noticed, of course, his odd behaviour but when they questioned him about it, he just shrugged and took a piece of karaage, popping it into his mouth.
The feeling didn’t last. The warmth Shouta felt after meeting the boy was slowly replaced by the typical cold that usually enveloped his body, and he was back to his lethargic self. He had no idea what happened back in the peony garden. He was unable to even begin to describe what he had exactly during the picnic and the days that followed. He was certain he missed it, though. He wanted to feel this warmth again; wanted to want to do things, instead of simply going through the motions.
He wanted to see the boy again.
It wasn’t possible, of course, he had no idea who the boy was, what his name was or where he lived. There was no way for Shouta, a third grader, to find him.
So he forgot. Over time, the memory became distant and faded, leaving Shouta with just an impression of the boy’s smile, dreams of green eyes, and the warmth that his presence filled Shouta with.
One impactful consequence of that brief meeting was Shouta’s desire to become a hero that changed the trajectory of his life. While getting back from the picnic, Shouta and his parents saw a hero duo saving a family with a kid, not unlike Aizawa’s, from a truck that was being driven by some criminals. It was probably the first time Shouta actually paid attention to his surroundings, and seeing the pro-heroes risking their life for others filled him with a sense of awe that refused to leave him.
Even when everything went back to being dull and cold, Shouta remembered that faint sense of awe and admiration he felt. This pivotal moment decided on his future, as he decided to become the hero himself and applied to UA high to Hero course.
It wasn’t easy. He knew he stood no chance with a quirk like his, which had offensive value somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. It didn’t stop him though. He knew it was his future to become a hero and nothing would stop him from achieving his goal.
His parents supported him, signing him up for karate in middle school, and helping him train in their spare time, timing his runs and making sure he hadn’t overdone it with the weights. They made sure his diet was balanced and nutritious, accounting for the increased calorie intake and the proteins he needed. They also forced him to go to bed when he’d stay too long doing push-ups and squats in the garden of the house they moved to in the second year of his middle school to be closer to UA.
Because they believed in him and knew moving would be worth it.
The day of the entrance exam came faster than Shouta expected. Not that it came fast, he’d been waiting for ages but it still felt like he wasn’t entirely prepared when the day had finally come. His parents drove him to UA, kissed him good luck and promised to take him to a cat cafe afterwards. Shouta was eternally grateful for their neverending support.
He was sitting in the auditorium, listening to one of the teacher’s explain the rules of the exam (he knew he was absolutely fucked because of the robots) when he felt it.
He almost missed it, it was so gentle. The warmth. The warmth he’d felt only once before, when he met a blonde boy with pretty green eyes. He still had the carnation he got that day; he’d pressed it in his favourite book with Japanese tales until it was dry and then put it in a small pouch he got from his parents.
He had that pouch with himself that day, actually, for good luck. It was sitting safely in his backpack, giving Shouta a sense of purpose and confidence. Now? Now he was also feeling that same warmth he came to associate with the flower.
He furrowed his brows, staring at the sheet with written exam questions. What was going on? Why now? After so many years? Was it related to the exam and fulfilling his purpose? Or…
His heart started beating faster and it was not related to the exam that would decide his future in the slightest. Was… the boy somewhere in the audience? It… what were the odds?
He couldn’t look around without being accused of cheating, so with trembling hands he picked up his pencil at last and opened the exam. He answered the questions the best he could despite how distracted he was, the warmth inside him spreading as if he drank a delicious hot chocolate his mum made. It felt like there was a hole in his chest that was now being filled.
The time ran out the moment Shouta put last strokes in the final answer. He managed to get through all the questions and he put his pencil down with a relieved sigh. It wasn’t too difficult, actually, and he was fairly confident he did well. He was definitely more worried about the practical part. He had no idea how he was gonna deal with the robots who were unaffected by Erasure.
They were sent to the locker rooms to change into their gym clothes. Shouta tried to focus on putting on his sweats but he couldn’t help sneaking a glance at his competition. Some of them would be his classmates in a couple of weeks. He didn’t think plenty of the boys would, though. Most of them had trembling hands as they pulled on the pants, and some looked like they were about to faint. Shouta wondered if it was exam stress and how they handled other nervous situations. If an exam puts you on edge like this, what will happen when lives are on the line?
Among the shaking boys were two who didn’t seem to be stressed at all. No, they were in good spirits. A blue-haired boy, taller than Shouta by at least 15 centimeters, was clutching his stomach and laughing at something a blond boy standing with his back to Shouta said. The tall boy stood straight and wiped the tears from his eyes before throwing an arm around the other boy’s shoulder and grinning at him. They seemed pretty close and Shouta started to wonder if they were boyfriends trying to get into the same school. Looking at them made Shouta feel… warm inside. Actually, that feeling never left him since the auditorium but was intensifying. It was odd but he had no time to think about it.
The announcement over the speakers called them to one of the gyms and a teacher standing outside the door showed them the way. The area was an open-air one, a chilly Spring breeze making Shouta shiver. He looked around assessing his opponents. Some of them seemed to have powerful physical quirks. Shouta had a plan though.
The moment the time started, he ran with the rest of the students but stayed a bit further to the back instead of going for the robots. There was no point.
No, the announcer said something. Something about how saving people was equally important as removing the threat. It made Shouta think that perhaps not only defeating the robots was being scored but also saving those who’d be in trouble otherwise.
He could only hope he was right.
He was. The results were in, with the exact explanation of assessment criteria and his cumulative points, with the practical exam section split into villain and rescue points. Of course he received a big round 0 in villain but he amassed 157 rescue points.
Which was enough to secure him a place in the hero course.
He stared at the confirmation letter. He felt… he felt so happy he felt like he was about to burst. That warm feeling he felt in the auditorium hadn’t left him a week later and he found himself more cheerful than he was used to. And now? He was downright giddy as he went downstairs to the living room to show his parents the letter. A small smile hadn’t left his face since watching the announcement disk, and he was still smiling when his parents jumped to their feet with shouts and tried to squeeze the life out of him in a hug.
Then they ordered Indian food, Shouta’s favourite, to celebrate. He found himself laughing along with his parents. He loved them, he really did, and he liked spending time with them but over the past week, and even moreso now, he found them so… so nice. He knew they were nice but it was like he was seeing them for the first time, realising how wholesome they are. Truly feeling it.
His parents noticed, of course. They hadn’t said anything to him but he could see the glances they exchanged, full of relief. The happiness and awe in their eyes when they were talking to him and he was actually responding and elaborating instead of just grumpily answering straight to the point.
He found that… he really liked being like this.
And then April rolled around and the new school year began. High school. He was starting high school.
The morning of the orientation filled him with trepidation. It felt weird to have such an intense anxious reaction. For years he’d been so numb, negative feelings included. Now, he was stressed. Yet also excited.
His parents insisted on driving him to school, despite his grumbling that he didn’t need it, he was a high schooler now! They were so happy for him, though, that he only protested for a moment or two before relenting.
They kissed him goodbye before he exited the car, and then here he was. Among the sea of old and new students of UA High School. The most prestigious hero school.
He found 1-A classroom and discovered he was first in the room. He stood awkwardly by the wall a bit further into the room and pulled out his phone to play Neko Atsume; the only game that ever caught his attention for longer.
He was about to take a pic of a tabby that visited after he put on fancy tuna when he heard someone moving outside in the hallway. A moment later a blond kid from the entrance exam (how many kids could’ve had such pretty blond hair) entered, ridiculous sunglasses on his face, and immediately spotted Shouta. He beamed at him, a smile splitting from ear to ear, and he approached him.
“Hi! Yamada Hizashi! Nice to meet you.” The kid bowed slightly but the grin never left his face.
Despite the shockingly enthusiastic greeting, Shouta didn’t feel put off. No, he felt… oddly calm. The same warmth he felt only twice before started to fill him from the inside again. It was funny, really, given that the boy’s name meant sunshine.
“Hi,” Shouta said with a slight bow of his head. “Aizawa Shouta.” He remembered the tall boy with blue hair. “Did your boyfriend get in, too?”
The kid frowned. “Boyfriend?” He repeated after Shouta.
“I, um… saw you at the exam. Tall guy, blue hair?” Shouta said, suddenly embarrassed. He never felt embarrassed, what the hell.
“Oh!” The kid said. “Oh no, we met at the exam and clicked immediately but we’re not boyfriends or anything!” He clarified and Shouta, for some reason, felt relieved.
“Oh. Sorry for assuming,” he muttered, because what else was there to say?
“Nah, chill, yo,” the kid smiled widely again and lifted his sunglasses. “He did get in tho! And is in our class, should be here soon.”
Shouta hadn’t processed what the boy said. No, he hadn’t, because now he was staring at the pair of green eyes that he kept dreaming about since he was nine.
“It’s you,” he whispered in awe, and the boy cocked his head to the side, his lips in thin line.
Suddenly, recognition flashed in his eyes. “Carnation,” he whispered and smiled, his eyes squinting in happiness, and the ice covering Shouta’s heart started thawing.