Chapter Text
In Yushi’s memories, the forest had always been a scary place.
He had been to this particular forest once as a child. When he moved to the small town a few years back, Yushi avoided spending time in places where the spiritual energy was too high, as it gave him headaches. Not from the pressure, but rather from the constant chit-chat and noises from tiny spirits who were all curious about the human, who felt almost non-human.
Yushi never understood what they meant by a human who felt non-human. He never dressed like a spirit, and he didn’t think he looked like one. Spirits who could appear in their humanoid forms always looked indistinguishable from humans to him. If Riku were to wear jeans and cut his hair shorter instead of his fancy kimono and hairpins, he could pass as Yushi’s college friend. So would Jaehee, who reminded Yushi so much of his math or history teachers back in middle school.
That said, spirits who harbored malicious intent were different. Negative energy reeked out of them so strongly that it was almost impossible to ignore even the tiniest hint of malice any spirit had of him. It was scary, but it also made it easy for him to know which spirits could be calmly approached.
Absence of ill intent, of course, didn’t mean absence of teasings and pranks.
“How long have we been walking in circles?” Yushi sighed.
Riku pouted. “Don’t be mad, Yuu-chan!”
“My legs are tired.”
“Shall I carry you? Hehe.”
“Riku,” he warned the playful old feline.
“I just wanted to walk with you longer!”
When Yushi expressed his intention to meet the Forest Lord and return the lord’s name, Riku immediately volunteered to show him the way. Yushi should have known from the glint of his dark eyes that the feline spirit didn’t plan to help with no ‘reward’ attached.
Riku held out his hand. “Hold my hand.”
Yushi raised an eyebrow.
“Promise. Hold my hand, and I will show you the way to the cavern where the lord lives.”
Albeit slightly hesitant, Yushi took the hand offered to him.
Riku’s hand always felt cold. It was moments like this, when Yushi was reminded that his companion was truly not human.
“Does my hand feel weird?” Yushi suddenly asked as they continued walking.
Riku blinked. “Huh?”
“I just wonder if my hand feels too warm and strange to you, since you’re not used to human warmth,” Yushi said.
Riku shook his head. “It’s unfamiliar, but it’s good. The warmth feels good.”
“Mm. That’s nice.”
Silence followed as they continued their tracks until Riku spoke again.
“Does my hand feel cold and strange then, Yuu-chan?”
Yushi pondered. He shrugged.
“It feels cold. But it doesn’t feel strange, since I know it’s you.”
Riku’s grip on his hand grew firmer. They were about the same height, but sometimes Riku always looked a lot bigger than him. Even though he had the same slim figure, his hands felt much stronger, too.
“We’re here,” Riku announced.
To any ordinary person, the cavern would look like nothing more than an uninhabited space in the middle of a forest. There was an old abandoned shrine with half-burnt incense, which looked like it was once lit years ago. However, Yushi could sense the presence of another soul in there, albeit very weak. It must have been so long since the lord had any companion or received any offerings.
He bent down, placed a pack of fruits on the altar, and began praying. Riku peered from behind and gawked.
“Are those strawberries? You brought strawberries as offerings?”
Yushi’s eyes twitched. “These are the nicest things I had from home.”
“Could’ve brought those salt bread from yesterday.”
“Bubblenyang ate them all.”
“And they’re good quality strawberries too… how unfair. You didn’t serve me these strawberries when I came to hang out!” Riku complained.
“I’ll serve you something better the next time you come, okay?” Yushi replied. The Book of Wish was resonating, he could feel it. The Forest Lord must have awoken and sensed that the holder of its name was here. Yushi took out the book from his bag. Normally he never needed to look for the name if the owner was close, the page would reveal itself.
A cold gust of wind hit Yushi from behind before enveloping him in a chilly embrace. He noticed the panic in Riku’s face, before his entire body suddenly felt heavy and the world was clouded in darkness.
When Yushi opened his eyes again, he was in a completely different place.
He was greeted by the sight of a tatami room, a half-opened shoji door with the view of a small pond and beautiful lotus flowers. His arms felt heavy from the layers of kimono sleeves, and long hair tickled the back of his neck.
Was he…in a dream? In the past?
“Why is your hair undone, Young Master?”
A handsome young man sat beside him. His dark purple robe was very loosely tied and Yushi could feel his cheeks heating up as his eyes automatically scanned the set of perfectly sculpted abdominal muscles on the man’s torso. The man’s breath felt warm as he leaned closer, shoulders touching with Yushi. He did not look human, not with those striking features and dark reddish hair that was very out of place for the time period.
“You broke your koto,” the man said.
“I'm planning to get it fixed,” Yushi heard himself reply.
“I could fix it for you,” the man offered. He held the koto with both hands and started hitting the edge with his fists.
Yushi heard laughter coming from himself again. “Do you know what you're doing, Sion-sama?”
Sion. What a lovely name.
“Surely it can be fixed with a few knocks?”
“That is not how you fix a broken koto…ah! See, you hurt yourself,” 'Yushi' said, and quickly took hold of the handsome man’s hand.
The silver ring on his right ring finger was bent and his knuckles were bleeding. 'Yushi' took off the silver ring, then carefully wrapped the bleeding hand with a handkerchief.
“I will bring this to the town and get this fixed as well. Come again in three days, Sion-sama.”
The scene turned into a dark blur.
Then Yushi found himself lying in bed, weak and painfully gasping for air. There was blood all over his clothes, yet the bent silver ring remained in his palm.
“I still…haven't…for him…”
He coughed.
“He's waiting…”
Outside, it was snowing.
The spirit, still clad in his purple robe, could not enter. The shoji was closed shut and talismans were plastered all over the wall. Several onmyouji roamed the hallways and chanting spells to drive away all and any potential supernatural beings from further corrupting the young master.
Yushi was no doctor, nor was he an exorcist. But if he had to guess, it was most likely not an evil spirit, but rather diseases that just couldn’t be diagnosed centuries ago. Tuberculosis used to run rampant but nobody in that era could have known that the real culprit causing their beloved ones to cough out blood was bacteria.
Not the old people, who attributed the sickness to malicious spirits and called exorcists. Not the spirits either, who could only watch from afar, wondering why they were no longer called, no longer invited in. Sion could not enter the abode without the owner’s permission. But the young master he was waiting for could no longer grant that permission. He could no longer speak. He could no longer breathe.
And thus Sion was left alone, hanging on to a promise that could never be fulfilled.
The next thing he saw was Sion wandering the mountains, looking lost and grim. His steps halted. He extended his hand, and showed a ‘rock’, to a woman who had already shown ‘paper’.
He lost the game of rock-paper-scissors on purpose.
Every time Yushi returned a name, memories of the spirit during their encounter with his late grandmother would often flow into his consciousness. Yet, this was the first time he had actually seen his grandmother's young face very clearly.
He supposed they really did resemble each other. In appearance, and a little bit in personality. Maybe his grandmother had taken all the names of these spirits, regardless of where she encountered them, in hopes that he too, would have someone to accompany him forever.
Humans’ lives were truly a fleeting moment, compared to a spirit's long lifespan. It must hurt to see a companion leave the world. Did Sion even know, that the young master was long gone and could never return?
“You look like him.”
Yushi turned. Scenes from the past stopped playing, replaced by a void-like darkness surrounding them. Unlike the past vision, Sion’s robes looked more tattered. His expression was dark. He looked pitiful. Nothing like an esteemed Forest Lord he was supposed to be.
“I am not him,” Yushi said. “I am here just to return your name, Sion-sama.”
“Return… name?”
“My grandmother took your name, decades ago. I wish to return it.”
“... Why?”
Why, indeed. Yushi hummed. “Without your name, you can’t be in full power.”
“Isn’t that what you humans want? For us to cease from existence?”
Yushi scowled. “And why should you follow the wish of humans who hate you? It’s your life, you should decide what you want,” he paused, then quickly added, “Well, as long as it’s not troubling others.”
The spirit stared at him. There was a little hint of surprise on his face.
“Maybe life feels meaningless because the passage of time works differently for you. But it is such a short moment for us. Too short, to care about what people who hate us think,” Yushi said. “So why don’t we live for the people who love us?”
The distance between them grew closer as the spirit slowly approached him. For a moment, Yushi felt as if his breath had just been taken away.
Sion was just beautiful beyond words.
“Can you release me back to the real world, so I can return your name, Sion-sama?” he pleaded.
The blurred dark walls surrounding them shattered. Slowly, Yushi found himself inhaling the scent of the forest again. The image of Riku looking at him with concerned eyes became clearer. He wondered how long he was trapped in the illusion.
Hm? But this feeling of something soft cushioning his head… if Riku was looking at him, right in front of his eyes, then whose lap was he lying on?
A loud choke escaped Yushi’s throat as he realized that the thigh pillow he had been resting on belonged to none other than the Forest Lord. “Oh shit.”
Sion chuckled with amusement. “The baby has woken up, it seems.”
“Who are you calling a baby?” Yushi retorted. He glanced around. “Where is my Book of Wish?”
“In your bag.”
“Ah. I haven’t returned your name, have I? I can still feel it-”
“Mm. Keep it.”
Yushi froze. Even Riku, watching the interactions from the side, looked absolutely stunned. After all, this was the first time a spirit ever refused to have his name returned.
“You said I should live for someone who would love me,” Sion said. “You should be responsible with your words, Yushi-sama.”
“L-L-Love? Heyy!!” Riku protested from the side. “I know you’re the lord, but Yuu-chan is my Yuu-chan!”
“Keep my name safely, Yushi-sama. In return, I will also stay by your side and keep you safe, for as long as time allows us,” Sion declared.
Now, how did things turn out this way? How in the world did he suddenly have a Forest Lord pleading allegiance for him? Yushi rubbed the side of his head, dreading the headaches that would come. “... First of all, let’s drop the honorifics.”
“Okay. Yushi? Ushi?”
“Not that much.”
“You have to stop calling me Sion-sama too. Why does your little friend there get called just by his name but I am Sion-sama?”
“I’ve known Yuu-chan far longer!” Riku angrily said and stomped his feet.
“But Yushi and I are bonded by something more special, beyond time. Isn’t that right?” Sion winked. He slipped his arms underneath Yushi’s back and thighs and lifted him with much ease. “Shall we go home now? Where do you live?”
For a spirit of Sion’s age and caliber, his presence and proximity oddly didn’t feel overwhelming at all. Instead, there was a sense of familiarity, and a strange feeling of warmth when Sion’s grip on his back tightened.
He also smelled good. Like a freshly roasted sweet potato. Yushi felt like he could just lean against the smell and be transported into the comfort of his home.
Yushi closed his eyes. For some reason, Sion and Riku’s voices bickering in the background as they walked together didn’t feel like ‘noises’. It reminded Yushi of something he never had, but had yearned for so much in the past.
“I want to eat sweet potatoes,” he murmured.
“Sweet potatoes? Should I go and find sweet potatoes for you?” Riku’s loud voice filled the air.
“Speaking of something sweet, what was that sweet red fruit you offered to me?” Sion asked.
“Strawberries.”
“Strawberries? I like them. Can you get me more of those?”
“Hey, my Yuu-chan isn’t your errand boy!”
Yushi laughed.
‘Loud’ no longer felt scary to him, yet silence didn’t feel lonely either. Once upon a time, Tokuno Yushi never imagined that boisterous noises would start to mean happiness, and that a peaceful quiet moment was just a break he would appreciate after a hectic day.
Creatures that drove him away from the world, were now part of his world.
“We’re almost out of the forest, please put me down, Sion-kun,” he said and patted Sion’s chest.
“Don’t want to.”
“Normal people can’t see you, the villagers are going to pass out and think I’m a magician floating on air.”
“.... Oh.”
Note
shoji: traditional sliding door/window
koto: musical instrument
onmyouji: officials specializing in divination, spiritual knowledge, etc