Chapter Text
The court case hadn’t gone to plan but things rarely do when it came to Katie.
She had been an enigma from the very first day that they had met. Forever fascinating and forever expressive, although it would have been satisfying seeing her miserable expression, her joy was just as beautiful.
“I’m happy for you, truly.” He had said with a shallow breath, wanting desperately to gauge her reaction, see beyond that ridiculous hat that covered over half her face. “It was a good fight, I think.”
”Sure.” Was her reply, short and casual, with little infliction. This, in hindsight, should have been the first red flag.
”I mean it, really, you—ah, your lawyers did very well. I looked like a real asshole there, great stuff.”
He perked up in anticipation, already prepared to quip back at whatever she would say next. Reeling with the thought of her eyes once again focused on him, without distraction.
”Yeah,” She nodded, then looked away somewhere out in the distance, somewhere far from here. “They’re pretty great.”
Like a wave, his fury crashed onto the muddy, rocky shores of his consciousness. Even here, in confinement, forever solidifying their inevitability and still she looked elsewhere.
“Stop that.” He said on instinct, sharp and unusual.
She still does not turn. ”Huh?”
”Stop ignoring me.” His hands itch to rip something apart, though they are given no direction in which to aim. “Even here? Seriously? Jesus Christ.”
”I don’t…what are you talking about?”
And now his anger grew louder and uglier. “ You didn’t give a fuck about those cats, you know that, I know that so why are you still being so fucking—“
“I didn’t—no, of course I didn’t care about the cats.” Katie scoffed, her pale, shaken fingers twitching at her sides. He wanted to rip that ridiculous hat off with his teeth, he wanted to burn it and her with it. “It wasn’t about that.”
Finally, normalcy.
The tension was still pulsing through his body, as it had been for a while now, but still there was something that softened in his heart being faced with a familiar response.
“Yes, exactly.” Ewron nodded eagerly, forgiving almost, if he would be so kind. “Only you and I know these things, the others they don’t—I got called crazy yesterday, Bestie! Crazy! Like—Like they just didn’t understand and it really is quite tragic they will never experience something like this—"
”It was about me.”
“What was that, sorry?”
Finally, Katie moved closer, but not in a way that Ewron had been expecting. Not in the way he had been yearning for from the second the idea of a court case had been brought up in the first place.
She touched the glass that separated them, that ugly, blasphemous ring still a weight on her hand as she spoke.
”This whole thing…really our whole friendship probably.”
Even this moment was being ruined with her foolishness. Ewron wanted to scratch at the bag over her head till it bled, till her beautiful eyes were clawed and swollen and—looking, finally, looking at him.
”What do you mean?” He swallowed, eyes bouncing around her and trying to gauge any indication of what she was feeling because this is—this is not correct.
”Do you hate me?” Katie B did not ask questions like this, not so earnest, not to him.
”Oh Bestie,” And maybe the nickname is rounded out by a cruel condescension because how dare she, how dare she ask such a thing. “Have your lawyers gotten into your head? I told you, this is just who we are! I care so very deeply about you, my friend, my dear, dear, bestie. You are the light of my life in every life, you are the sun in—”
”No,” Her hand leaves the glass and somehow he feels colder. “That’s not what I asked. Do you hate me?”
”That’s…”
A word as small as hate and love, they did not even compare to the depths of his feelings for her. This he knew in his heart, this he had always known.
This is something he can never admit.
”Why would you ask something such as this?” Maybe his laughter is a tad too high—pitched to be natural but the air is spelling danger and he did not want to read it. ”Bestie…”
”Can you just—“ Finally, finally, she took off part of that offensive hat and ran a hand through her hair. It frizzled out on the sides but that had a charm in it too. He tried not to be too obvious in his gazing, wanting to memorise every new line and hair that had developed since his absence. ”Whatever, nevermind.”
”Yes, let us move on now,” He continued, nodding in enthusiastic agreement. “I have to tell you something! Something I—I really did not want to share with you. Not because I do not trust you! No of course not, it is just…this is very sensitive information… I—I will be saying something very intense, bestie, I just want to know if you are in the headspace to receive this news, yes?”
There is no reply, not negative or positive, and he took that as encouragement.
Perhaps he should not have.
Speaking of his possible death had come easy to him by now, especially speaking to her. Although that ridiculous accessory selfishly hid her reaction from him he had thought that it must have been absolutely horrified to hear of his fate.
The deadline grew ever shorter and, now that he had ironed out the real days he had left, the danger grew closer. Even Ewron had started getting a bit nervous at the task ahead of them.
He, of course, had not expected her to actually provide everything on the list. From day one her fumbling through life had been the biggest draw for him, the earnest attempts at being one of them was a delight to watch through every failure.
The invitation to help had been a throwaway suggestion, something to give her to fail so he could have yet another victory to gloat with. Another reason for her to search for him everyday.
”Oh okay…and you want my help?” Katie replied, a little while after, not sounding nearly as affected as he had hoped. ”That might be a little hard…I mean, surely you could get like—a real builder to help out? Graf is great at stuff like this! Or maybe Tubbo?”
She didn’t understand it, of course she didn’t. God how he loved her, god how she angered him.
”I cannot tell anyone else about this! I am trusting you—I have such little time to do this and, Bestie, It is real—I am being for real, they will make me become the ghost if I do not build this altar!”
“What could I possibly do about that?” The red-head scoffed. “Like…That sucks, man? Sorry? I’ll build a beautiful grave for you?”
He flailed his hands dramatically, pointing at her accusatorily through their divider. ”You could care a little more that your bestest friend in this world, in this life, is walking towards his unwarranted and far too soon death!”
“Please,” She laughed, light and hollow. “Like you cared when I did?”
”Woah, woah I—“Erwon paused, eyes wide. “What the fuck did you just say?”
“Jesus, take a joke.” Katie pushed back away from the opposite wall, moving closer. “Sorry, sorry, I’m locking in now, I am. You need materials? Like building stuff?”
”I—“ Should he acknowledge it? Who was he kidding, they never did that. “…Yes, yes I need many things. Do you have a plan?”
”I might,” the ever suave businesswoman began. “If you got any spare hat boxes I might even tell you….”
“Hat boxes!? I—I am sorry!?” Ewron stuttered, twitching hands all but scratching at the glass, wondering if he bored a hole through it would it bring them closer? Would it make him understand her? “Is our friendship based only on—on hat boxes!? Is that what you see our friendship made out of!? Oh, my life is just worth that, I see, I see, are we not besties!? Why do you not think this is bigger deal! It is very large deal!”
”No, it is, sure it is.” Which sounded even more sarcastic as she rummaged through her bag in front of him. The offensive item mocking him with every taken moment it steals.
”Why do you wish for me to die, hm? What have I done to you this time?” Shame. Because it had always been so effective.
But, somehow, even this had not worked as it once had. ”You haven’t done anything.”
”So why do you hate me and wish for me to die alone and unloved?”
A stillness entered her body at that. An unnatural quiet that no one who knew her would ever associate with the woman. The camera still watching them in the corner, blinked to life.
“Doesn’t everyone?”
”Excuse me?” Ewron snapped, tone as sharp as he felt.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she stared. Still wearing that ridiculous hat but looking smaller somehow. “Dying is just something you do. What’s so bad about it?”
”Have you been taking crack!? What are you talking about!?”
“So you’ll die.” She shrugged, that stillness halting the shaking of her fingers and the curl of her foot. “I’ll die, they’ll die and we’ll be awake again. It’ll be fine.”
”Dying is not fucking fine I—what the hell is going on here!? Katie…”
”Am I wrong!?” She gestured out to the world, to the ever perfect weather and the forever perfect buildings. “Look at that! No one cares! I fucking died too, no one cried over my body.”
”Yes, because that’s not—“ But he could not say it. Because what was there to say?
”What does it matter? If it all gets fucked over anyway, us, the things we love, everything. Who cares?” She pushes the bag a little further down her face and that was the last straw.
”Take that fucking hat off.” Was that too aggressive? Perhaps it was, but the anger boiled up to his throat and it clawed it red enough to burn. A part of him believed this was some elaborate joke, a practical joke that everyone was in on, even the guards.
He needed to confirm this, he needed to see her eyes.
”Why?”
There is disbelief that rises behind the rage, behind the hurt. “What do you mean—I am discussing my death!? You are wearing ridiculous things that you brought from my store and I am baring my soul to you! Have you no humanity!? This is serious!”
”Jesus, if it’s such a big problem…”
“It is,” He emphasised, the festering wound that had grown across his heart deepened. “A very big one.”
No, no, no, this is wrong. All of this is wrong. He couldn’t keep track of it before, before the court case, during it, after, there had been something under their interactions, something hidden.
It had looked so similar to what they used to be, he almost missed it. But there is something new now, something…emptier.
She took the paper bag off her head, slowly and with intention, and things came into a startling, shattering, clarity.
The first thing he noticed was that her eyes were like the glimmer over the ocean, like the sky as it is shaded by clouds and warmed by the sun. It is every dream he had ever wished and every hope that was tucked in it.
The second was that they were filled with tears.
Without the glare of the courtroom it was more obvious the lines that developed around her eyes, weary and quiet and—heartbroken.
She looked heartbroken.
”You did not—“ Ewron blinked, rapidly attempting to re-interpret everything that had happened. “You did not care for the kittens? I know this I thought—“
“I don’t.” Katie said, her voice carefully steady.
”You clearly do!” He was screaming and that didn’t help, it never did, but it was all he knew to do. “Why did you not say anything, huh!? Using your crocodile tears and I don’t even—why hide your feelings!? I did not know!”
“I thought you were my best friend, you know?” And maybe it was the raised voices or the day finally catching up to her, but for the first time since they’ve known each other, Ewron watched his best friend crumble.
”I am.”
”So why don’t you act like it?”
Her tears are quiet and distracting. It is the worst thing he’s ever seen, he wanted to paint her.
“What do you want me to do, Katie?” It sounded strange out of his own mouth, incorrect. “I only want good things for you and yet you see me as—as some kind of monster.”
”So why do you act like…that?”
”When have I ever—“
“Stop.” Her eyes are piercing and some of that fire he loved burned a little brighter under the ash. “Be truthful.”
The silence was heavy. Something they had never shared before, not in the same room. It seemed that even silences are better with her, for it fills a room and his lungs. It was a beautiful thing to share together.
”I do not know.” Ewron answered honestly, now that the full brunt of her gaze was back on him, the knot in his chest had loosened. He tilted his head, in thought. “Perhaps I am a horrible person.”
“You’re being annoying again.”
He smiled, the first genuine one in a long while. “You cannot be so surprised that I am horrible, no? After all that I have done to you.”
”So you do realise you do them…”
Ewron blinked.”Of course, why would you think otherwise?”
To this question she looked away, as if embarrassed. “I don’t know…Thought it was like a—Jekyll and Hyde thing at first, like you did shitty things at night and normal and chill stuff in the day.”
“Truly!?” Euphoria came to him fast, laughter bubbled out before he could even stop himself. The pure, rushing, adoration was a close second. “Oh you are just so cute, you know that!? You think I was being taken over by—what? Some kind of evil spirit!? That’s so cute!”
“I don’t know, I’ve met a couple now.” Katie admitted with a reluctant tilt of her lips. And though it makes his insides feel as if it is being roasted on hot coals to know that she had memories outside of him, it was freeing to be truthful to someone.
”Why did you go so hard on some of the shit you did?”
”Hm?” Ewron’s smile still stretched wide and enamored. “You are very…honest, you know? You express in a very honest way and I like that. Everyone here is so—well we are very used to our world so seeing you express things so real and truthful is charming I think.”
Addicting, he doesn’t say.
“Oh…okay.”
Maybe he had just misread things, perhaps she had just been a little drained by the court that she couldn’t rant at him like she loved to do. Perhaps now they can get back on track. “Are we still sharing in the truth circle? What else would you like to know?”
“One more thing.” For whatever reason, her tone is unrecognisable. “Then that’s it.”
“I will answer anything your heart would ever wish to ask me, my princess.” He crowed, half teasing and half triumphant.
”Yeah, it’s that I want to talk about like—when you say stuff like that, do you mean it?”
Although it would be physically impossible at the moment, Ewren is very sure that the floor had caved in underneath him.
“I—“ He chuckled, a half tone too high. “What? What are you talking about?”
“You say things like that all the time. The—kinda romantic shit that you say to me and, hell, probably everyone else too. Is that—are you being real? Or is it like—a messing with people thing? Like you want them to like you but you don’t actually care, kind of thing?”
”Why would you ask me this?” He didn’t mean to whisper, but that was how it came out anyway. A quiet, tentative thing that cruelly sounded too much like hope.
”Dunno.” And that apathy bleeds back into her eyes again.
“Be truthful.”
“I don’t know, Ewron, seriously.”
”I think you do.” Have the guards come back? Is that what that booming, repetitive thump, thump, thump is coming from? The one that is ringing through his ears and beating right down to his chest. “I think you know. Say it, just say it.”
“I’m not—just quit it!”
”What!?” There is a desperation clinging to his words now. “What is wrong now!? Wasn’t it your idea to do this truth shit to begin with!? Now you have the floor! You will tell the truth!”
Her eyes narrow in warning. “Back the fuck up, first off, second, don’t tell me what to fucking do.”
“I am only asking a question!?” He slammed a hand onto the glass, there are splintered marks where it had been hit. “What is so scary about this, huh!? Not if it is what I think! If it is what I believe, then there is nothing scary to happen!”
Then, something darker took over his boyish, tentative hope, something that dipped into the dark caverns of his insecurity and plucked at the singular truth that had haunted him his entire life.
Alone, it whispered, all alone Ewron.
”…Unless it’s about him, hm? Does your pathetic, cheating, husband know about this? Should I call up the Federation? See if they wanna give us some update on your loser boyfriend tell him his desperate for love wife is finally deciding to move the fuck on?”
The thing about going too far is you never really know till it happens. When adrenaline and emotions get the better of you enough to articulate something that you know with certainty will hurt the other person.
This situation, though, was not like that. He went too far and he knew it the second the words had left his mouth.
Sinking to the ground—yet still near the glass because what were they if not constantly seeking each other's presence?— Katie sobbed, smashing against the glass so hard it made her knuckles bleed.
”Fuck you! Fuck you! How dare you bring him up in your—your shitty attempt at—at I don’t even know! I trusted you! I trusted—Fuck, fuck you, fuck you—“
He instinctively sank next to her, patting the glass between them as if it would in some way, somehow, reach her.
“Shhh, don’t be like this, it is okay, it is—“
“What did I do to you!?” She spat on the glass, fists still bloody and leaving marks that trailed down like lines in the sand. It was beautiful, it was not for him.
“What the fuck did I do you for you to hate me this much?! What!? What was it?! I’m sorry, whatever, I don’t care! I don’t care anymore! Please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for whatever it was that made you want to torment me all fucking day and make me think that I had a real friend but I’m done!”
That stopped him cold in his tracks. ”…What?”
Before she could clarify, the guard that had brought them into the prison had appeared in a blink. Omnipotent and had likely watched the whole breakdown from the beginning.
“Katie, what do you mean?”
“It is time to be let go,” The guard said, waiting and forever still. “You have served your sentence time, please exit from the left and do not come back again.”
”No, I am not done—Katie? Katie, what do you mean by that? I don’t—I don’t understand.”
Katie had roughly wiped her face with the edges of her sleeves, the white of her shirt stained red.
“I’m done, Ewron.” And this too was new. New tears, her eyes, new expressions. It was gorgeous.
“I don’t—what?” He was already shaking his head before she had even finished talking. “I don’t understand.”
”I’m done.”
”What are—what?” There is a sledgehammer that is ripping apart his insides from the head to the heart. There is an ugly, pathetic, loneliness that curled tighter in his gut, stretched longer and longer the longer they stayed here. It is impossible, it cannot be and yet…
“All things considered…” She continued, even though Ewron was dying in front of her. His insides being gutted out and sprawled between them. “You were a pretty good friend. The best, actually.”
And he regretted asking for that hat to be off here, because seeing her sobbing, wholly and finally, felt like an ending and that felt like a death sentence.
“…But I think we don’t…I dunno…I think you’re just like me and maybe that’s a problem.” She paused, a wobbly, weak, perfect, perfect, perfect, smile blooming through her pain.
And this moment was a punishment as it was a reward. As the face he had loved to trace every inch of, stared at him solely and completely. It was a reason to exist. Here, in the space in front of her, forever.
“I love you, you know? I really, really do.” This he wanted to take a picture of, an expression sat between heartbreak and bitter acceptance. “But do me one last favour? Just—one last one, a big one. An important one.”
“Anything.” He had whispered, devoted, pure. “Always.”
Ewron had seen Katie at many points in her life. At her absolute lowest and her highest highs and he knew every expression that she had, down to the micro.
“Please,”
He knew when she was joking and when she was genuinely upset. More importantly, he knew when she was being serious. Because when lightning strikes and Katie as bubbly and absent as she decides to get serious, people listen. Because despite it all, she means it, every word.
”Never talk to me again.”
That’s…
..It..
Why?
Why?
Never talk to me again.
Never talk to me again.
Never talk to me again.
Never talk to me again.
Then, Ewron began to scream.