Chapter Text
Shen Yuan has never been so tired yet so baffled at the same time.
And his damn System isn’t making it any better!!
He’s currently still in shock because the Scum Villains- the original Scum Villain- is for some reason incomprehensible to Shen Yuan sitting in his lap as if he didn’t just drop himself there out of nowhere, made himself at home fan and all, and judging him for the trashy book he was reading peacefully before he crashed in.
And how does he even manage to look so dignified despite the ridiculous situation?! He’s almost envious, if not for the slight flush on his cheeks and sputtering in sheer disbelief and irritation when the System as it’s usual perverted being spat out an annoyingly cheerful blue screen in his face.
{New Scenario: Tame The Original Scum Villain, Shen Qingqiu! Conditions: Do not upset him. Consequences: Negative B-points and-}
’Okay okay! I fucking get it, damn it! And what the hell do you mean, ‘tame?’ Isn’t it too late? And why does upsetting him result in either me dying or going broke, huh?!’
He languished silently in his mental misery, which even he couldn’t even have in peace!
Because the other scum villain is scowling at him with the most offended face he’s ever wore like he just insulted his ancestors as if spitting curses!
{Not Yet Scum Villain Shen Jiu’s mood: unhappy, seething -30 B-points. Achievement unlocked: The Ire Of Wu Yanzi’s Disciple.}
He stared at the screen, eyes twitching before schooling his expression lest he upsets the other Shen Jiu right in his lap too.
{('''– ⌓ –)＝３}
No, what the hell is that face for! The audacity of this scummy System! Worse than the devil, seriously, why is it acting disappointed in him?!
He stared. Stared at the screen, stared at the nonchalant man lazing in his lap as if he was a cat, stared at the boy glaring at them and heaved a long suffering sigh. His eye twitched again- wow he needs to get that checked at this point- when he noticed that behind the fan, the man in front of him was smirking at Shen Jiu!
He patted the spot next to him, and spoke.
”Shen Jiu, do not make such a scary face. You look as if you’re about to murder someone with just that face alone- come here.”
The boy frowned, grumbling but he immediately moved to his side, and then took over his master’s other thigh!
What the actual fuck?? Now he has two Scum Villains in his lap and trying to kill each other with eyes alone!
They’ve been acting like this ever since that stupid mission he’d accepted to meet Shen Qingqiu, and while he tried to get used to it every action and look by both of his boys kept tripping him over every time he tried to apply a logical reason behind them.
Oh, Shen Jiu polishes his sword for him? He gives him a pat on the head, a thank you and a smile and suddenly a ké later, Shen Qingqiu shows up with the most trashiest fiction he’s ever even glimpsed possible, and he lights up at the gifts. But then, it for some ungodly reason, provokes Shen Jiu into trying to outdo him?? For what- his attention? No, no way- they must be trying to just be doing something nice.
Who’d want an old man like him anyway? Except they don’t seem to care about his concerns, in fact- they try even harder!
And speaking of that, Shen Jiu actively cuddles, nuzzling his head into Shen Yuan’s broad chest while maintaining eye contact with the other Scum Villains, and he scowls at the boy.
”Brat.”
‘Brat? Who? Are you sure you can say that when you’re acting no different?!’
These days, he seems to be in the habit of sighing whenever these stubborn troublemakers are near and yet he’s still fond of them anyway. But he’s also tired of trying to teach Shen Jiu while the other man makes snarky criticism the entire time and placating the provoked boy while scolding Shen Qingqiu who only huffs and turns away with an odd look in his eyes.
Stupidly, he almost thinks it might be jealousy- him? The Scum Villain? Being jealous? No way! Hardly anything to be jealous of an old man who wasn’t even half as strong as the Peak Lord himself was!
Anything he gifted to the man was kept as though it was a precious heirloom passed down from the ancestors- stuffing it into his Qiankun sleeves, glaring and daring him to try taking it back. Just like Shen Jiu. He feels a familiar headache forming- finding it to become a regular occurrence for the past two weeks now that he has two Scum Villains under his care and following him as his shadows.
With the pouch of stolen goods, he exchanged the gaudy gems and luxuries in exchange for proper and better quality clothing that at least suited the adult Scum Villain much much better.
Even though he insists on stealing his robes for some reason. He, of course, bought new robes for Shen Jiu too. He’ll spoil them both, thank you very much!
Plus he’s gained an utter mountain of B-points, both scum Villains deepening his understanding of their character depth.
But now that he had two Shen Jius’ already barely able to convince one not to expend so much of his own qi just to help stabilize his ruined body, he had two stubbornly infusing qi into him too!
At least it was mainly just the Peak Lord- glaring at the young version of himself to back off, and ignoring the absolute smugness radiating from that grin when he doubled down on it too. The man, although very much concerning Shen Yuan to the extent that every time he so much as opens his mouth to mention it, fussing over the man with worry, he’d both upset and please Shen Qingqiu and immediately get whacked in the face by that damned fan!
It’s not his fault he’s worried- Shen Qingqiu never had a chance to right his qi much to his grievances due to the sheer ineptitude of the original Wu Yanzi who he swore to fucking obliterate from this shared body of a vessel even if he wasn’t the actual original one since Shen Qingqiu had likely killed the man himself decades ago.
Still, he had a far better awareness of his threshold and had a vastly large amount of qi to lend. So he’s gotten used to the unfamiliar sensation of now being mostly warm rather than as cold as ice.
As they began to once again bicker and argue, he sighed tiredly and pushed his head between them to separate them and disrupt their focus, both of them startling then turning their attention to him.
”This master is tired, enough bickering, you two.”
Reluctantly, as he expected- they both backed off at that. At least his health was one thing they both agreed on. He and Shen Jiu had explained and informed him everything of what happened that was different- Shen Yuan excluding the transmigration of course- and while he was initially worried he’s try and kill him Shen Qingqiu instead looked at him with an indifferent gaze, as if he was still the same before and after he knew.
….with a far more subtle look in his eyes that he was unfamiliar with.
Ever since Shen Qingqiu learned of his condition with needing his yin and yang qi balanced and his strange diet, he’s refused and stuck resolutely to She Yuan’s side. Physically and figuratively.
He thinks it might be because the original Scum Villain was known to have regular qi deviations- so since he’s more than well versed in experiencing them, he doesn’t want Wu Yanzi to experience them alone.
As if he’d let him handle that! He’s sure whatever happened in that cave with Liu Qingge was an accident from what he recalled reading, but the man was panicked and no way was he letting him try and save him! What if he died?! Then the Scum Villain would feel even worse!
So he’s been handling his own health far more carefully than he usually tended to say and do less of, if only for the sake of not being the reason of additional guilt for both antagonists.
He patted both their heads with a wry but soft smile. Even Shen Qingqiu was as filial as Shen Jiu despite the fact the Peak Lord himself wasn’t and didn’t exactly need to become his disciple. He refused, however, when Shen Yuan attempted to reassure the man he didn’t have to call him ‘Shizun’ either if he felt pressured.
‘Hah? What? Are you insulting me? Are you perhaps too good to be referred to as ‘Shizun’ by me because I must be scum, or is it because I am a Peak Lord that it must be beneath me to do such a thing?’
He of course denied vehemently and said he was more than alright with being called that tilde by the man who’s glare had narrowed so offensively affronted and fiercely, Shen Yuan lost any will he previously had to try and attempt to reason his explanations. Hell no, Shen Qingqiu might stab him if he tried!
Although his life was far more chaotic now, dealing with double the Scum Villains and trying to explain his way out of shit situations due to his equally shit System, and the looming trials soon to test him, he’s found that he smiles far more often around them.
Although his hair’s already too white to get any paler despite feeling as if he was going to get gray hairs..he’s much more content with this unanticipated change than he thought he’d be.
He might grumble about regretting bringing him along or complaining at the sheer amount of trouble shoved at him, but he can’t find any care in him at all to actually regret bringing the man home.
Shen Jiu is Shen Jiu, and nothing would change who he was to him. Even if it was the original version of himself that was the catalyst of the entire novel-
Shen Yuan’s here. He’s not stupid he knows he can’t fix everything about him in one fell swoop. But does it matter, when he at least won’t suffer alone in that godforsaken universe?
He’s home now, and nothing will change that whether by Shen Yuan’s will or sheer determination from both Scum Villains.
No fate, no plot-holes, no gods nor System will ever separate them if they dared try.
He’d spit in their face if they did.