Chapter Text
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(This story is straight from the comments with a few tweaks. Title is supposed to be clever. I wanted to do the whole phrase in Pig Latin, but “ixnay onyay ethay ickenchay” just doesn’t roll off the tongue as nicely. And it’s more common to hear “ixnay on the ankblay” anyway.)
For their first home-date, Stiles makes a chicken dish. He's not a bad cook, but he's not particularly thrilled by it either (same as Derek), so making something is a BIG DEAL for him. He's so excited, bouncing around and singing out loud, waiting on the pasta and the peas and Derek. He's never been this excited, not even when he found a job right after returning from their graduation trip (he's a security consultant for a law firm a few blocks from the Sheriff’s Station).
(Stiles did not have a job in the first three stories—by that, I mean he worked but I didn’t know what he did until I was typing the comment.)
Derek's late. First, his outfit, chosen by Laura and her oldest daughter, gets ruined when he burps the youngest and gets spit-up all down his back. His second outfit isn't nearly as flattering as his first, and Jordan has to talk him out of a panic thinking that Stiles won't be pleased with him. (He liked you when you were wearing everyday clothes, Jordan says, nothing's changed.) Then, Derek realizes his socks don't match, and that the tie he was going to wear isn't clean either, and he needs to comb his hair and wash his face and-and-and! (Breathe, Laura advises, with a gentle but firm push toward the door. Don't keep him waiting too much longer, little bro. Jordan's right, he likes you for you, not for your clothes.)
(I absolutely love stories that include dialog without making it dialogue. I’m currently working on two stories that incorporate this technique. They’re going all right. Maybe you’ll see them soon?)
When Derek finally gets there, everything's ready and Stiles greets him at the door with a shy smile and a sweet kiss. And then Derek smells the chicken.
(Chicken broth. The terror of Kate looming over him. Chicken. Fun fact: when I was growing up, my family exclusively ate chicken. Boiled chicken. My sister and I had to pick the meat off the bone. I can eat chicken but only under certain circumstances. I chose chicken as the culprit because I absolutely loathe it.)
Stiles doesn't know where Derek went. One minute he was welcoming his about-to-be/already-is boyfriend into his house, the next he was left alone while said boyfriend ran away.
Stiles cries all night, thinking Derek's changed his mind or just doesn't like him anymore.
Derek cries harder. Lost in the residential area of Beacon Hills, trying to fight the demon of Kate, hoping Stiles didn't mean to hurt him like that. It doesn't occur to Derek to call anyone until he's already walked all the way home, the directions from that little old lady on the park bench very handy.
(This little old lady is probably Mrs. Halvershiem (from Broken & Beautiful) and from another story (tentatively titled The Gravel Road for James Newton Howard’s composition of that name—which you will get to see…eventually). I’m sure you’ve noticed by now: I create a cast of original characters that then will be inserted into whichever universe I’m writing.)
Jordan immediately drives him back to Stiles' and makes him wait in the car while he takes the notebook (the one he's been working on since he joined the family) and goes to talk to Stiles.
Stiles asks for a few days, and Derek worries that he's being dumped. Dr. Morrell spends the three days Stiles reads the notebook consoling Derek and watching him knit the baby blanket. Derek's shaking so hard he keeps dropping stitches he doesn't mean to and has to start over and over again. By the time Stiles calls to see if he can talk to him, he only has the cast on right.
(Stiles spent those three days reading and rereading the notebook, reading up on how to help with traumatic events, and speaking with Morrell about his own insecurities. By the end of it, he realized he would always regret breaking up with Derek if he didn’t give the relationship a fair trial.)
Stiles returns the notebook to Jordan, offers his services as a babysitter to Laura, and takes the whole family out to a steak, more steak, and most steak restaurant where Isaac and Boyd work as cooks.
(Stiles was supposed to be trying to win favor with Derek’s family so that if he does screw up again, he’ll have someone there who will care to explain it so that he can avoid it—which, Jordan already did by giving him the notebook.)
The dates get easier, and Stiles starts his own notebook, filled with the things Derek can do and the things he can't. For example, chicken is so far off the list of okay, it's on the No! List seventeen times and underlined all seventeen times with multiple exclamation points. However, Derek loves nose kisses, rubbing his chin over Stiles' shoulders, and bubble baths.
(It’s always sat with me that Derek was affectionate and kind to people he cared about. After the fire, it was harder for him to let himself out, to trust people not to use him the way Kate (and ultimately Jennifer) did.)
Stiles can work with this. And if he has to take a guys’ night at Scott's where they do nothing but gorge on chicken nuggets and Chicken Parmesan and chicken noodle soup, well, he just brushes his teeth more thoroughly before he goes back to Derek.
(They do this once a week for about a month, and then they move it to monthly occurrences. Derek is aware of it, but it doesn’t hurt him. It never has bothered him if other people eat chicken. He just can’t be around it.)
For his part, Derek tries to eat chicken. Finds out, he's okay with fried chicken, but any time he can smell it cooking, he hides in the bathroom and throws up. Stiles starts cooking it at his dad's, using the pot holders and ignoring his dad's complaints that if it's cooked at his house, he at least should get to taste it. (C'mon Stiles, don't deny me some pleasure in life!)
(I like this version of the Sheriff. He’s long-suffering and sort of tolerant of the shenanigans his son pulls on him. And he knows just when to kick Stiles in the britches to get him moving. He totally was a defining moment in Stiles’ minor crises at the start with the chicken. Hell, he probably suggested the chicken night at Scott’s. Pay no attention to the Diner’s take out bags he buries in his trash. No, really, Stiles, that’s always been there.)
(They totally move in after three months of intense dating. The notebooks branch into seven different books, and Derek starts writing one for Stiles too.)
(And then, five months after they start dating, something different happens. And it’s absolutely Perfect.)
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(Yes, I shamelessly linked one of the stories in the not-story itself. I’m not sorry. It was a (coughs) perfect moment.)
(Thanks for reading! Gremlins out!)