Chapter Text
Winter break is 12 days long. It also means that Namjoon hasn’t seen Seokjin in 11 days, 12 hours and 16 minutes. It was the day after New Year’s but Namjoon doesn’t feel festive at all. He doesn’t really feel that it’s the season to be jolly, as his mind wandered about what he has become. During the past few days, he felt like he was on autopilot. He wasn’t living, he was just barely surviving. Holiday or not, everyday felt the same. Dull. Empty.
Namjoon spent the whole break trying to write his thesis chapter due on the day school resumes and has failed miserably. All what he could think of was what happened before Seokjin left for the holidays, how their farewell was different from what Namjoon was used to. Because this time, there was no goodbye at all. Namjoon woke up to a cold and empty house, as if the fire burning that filled the place with warmth has died. The whole apartment just seemed like a great void to Namjoon, with nothingness inside. Including him, Namjoon felt hollow, like a sponge without substance.
He kept his phone next to him, checking it every second if there was a message for him. Over the holidays, his friends have sent him a few messages. Hoseok sent him a selca with a ridiculous reindeer hairband but Namjoon has no strength to diss him, although he can’t deny he laughed a little. Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook sent him a photo of them together, the three maknaes making pouty faces and added a reminder that they love him and he shouldn’t worry because they’re coming back soon for him. Namjoon just replied a curt ‘i would prefer if u guys never come back at all’ and he felt himself loosen up a little when Taehyung replied, ‘we don’t believe u hyung, youll miss us for sure xx well be back soon *u*’. Somehow that’s true, he would feel better once they came back. At least he’d have someone to keep him company; at this point he was thankful having those little shits in his life. He just hoped they wouldn’t ask for Seokjin, but he knows that’s practically impossible because the three of them are always hovering around Seokjin, like the little puppies they are. Lastly, on Christmas, Yoongi sent him ‘merry xmas’ and Namjoon was just in awe of how lazy Yoongi is, he didn’t even mention his name. Namjoon would bet his life that it was a group text. No doubt if he was asked why, Yoongi would reason out that it would just be a waste of time to text them all individually, as long as the message is sent that’s fine already. He could even hear Yoongi whining in his head, saying, ‘u fuckers should be grateful I even texted u,’ and Namjoon just laughs at the thought. What a classic Yoongi thing to say. All these messages, but none of them are from Seokjin. He must be selfish to think of it, but he would trade all for these messages for one message from Seokjin. Even just one.
There were numerous times he stared at Seokjin’s name on his contacts and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. He wanted to text Seokjin so much, but he held back. He felt like he was not in the place to tell Seokjin what he feels. He felt undeserving, he didn’t feel worthy of saying how he felt to Seokjin. Because he knows Seokjin deserves better than him, he deserves better than the mess he is.
He’s currently splayed on the couch, facing the clock which reads 12:30 pm. It was the last day of the holiday and Seokjin should be coming home soon. But he’s not even sure anymore. They had fights over the years, but nothing was as bad as what they had recently. Because they knew each other too well, someone would just stop and let the night wash over their worries. But this time, they were both vulnerable and sad. Namjoon knows he should have held back, because he was the only one who could think sensibly that night. He should have acted accordingly, he should have acted more maturely. He should be held responsible for what happened.
It made him regret his actions more because the fight even reached the point where Seokjin questioned if he means anything to Namjoon. Namjoon just feels his heart ache when his mind flashbacks to the night. He wanted to say that Seokjin means the universe to him, but he couldn’t. He feels like he shouldn’t.
All these years and he just realized all he gave Seokjin was pain. They were forced to hide their relationship because he wouldn’t bear to see Seokjin hurt. He would rather take his own life than put Seokjin in any kind of danger. But witnessing all of this happen, he concluded that he should never have met Seokjin in the first place. He knew about his situation but he let his carelessness overpower rationality. Why am I like this? He smacked his own head, in an attempt to clear his head and think of a solution but nothing came.
He just continued to stare at the clock when he felt his phone chime from the coffee table. He quickly reached out to grab his phone and his heart raced when he saw Jinnie <3 on the notification panel. He clicked it instantly but as soon as he read the message, he knew his high spirits were short-lived.
jinnie <3
im not coming home. don’t wait for me.
Namjoon just stared blankly at the screen, with the words ‘not coming home’ and ‘don’t wait for me’ looming in his mind. Seokjin always came home to him every time he left, but now it was merely a dream. I guess this is the end, Namjoon whispers to himself and felt a tear fall from his eye.
“Jin-hyung! You’ve only been here for an hour, but you’ve already trashed my food supply!” Jaehwan complains as he rushes from his bedroom to stop Seokjin from taking more food from his pantry.
“I’m just tired from my trip,” Seokjin says between bites. “I just had a long voyage and you wouldn’t feed your hyung, so I took care of it myself.” He answers nonchalantly as he pours the remaining crushed chips into his mouth and snatched the packs Jaehwan took from him.
“Hyung, Gwacheon is just an hour away.” Jaehwan deadpans.
Seokjin just hums as he chooses over the variety of chips Jaehwan has in stock. Wow, I missed these! I should make a mental note and stock up these when I go home. He flinches a bit when he remembered Namjoon but he tried his best to act as if he was not affected at all. I should just fill myself up with free food and worry about it later. Yeah, I should do that. Totally. I’m totally fine. He tries to convince himself.
“Who cares? A trip is a trip!” Seokjin replies undeterred, as he reaches for another bag of chips in the pantry. But Jaehwan is quick and pushed him slightly so that the chips would be out of his reach.
“Hyung, I’m really going to starve if you keep eating my food supply!” Jaehwan acted like a barrier and placed himself in front of the cabinet Seokjin was taking out food.
Seokjin pouts. “We’ve been friends for 8 years already and this is how you treat me? You’re such an ungrateful brat. Don’t you remember all the times I treated you food? I could have lived off that money for a year!” He boasts while sneakily heading to living room to grab the food he hid under the couch.
But he was stopped mid-way when Jaehwan grabbed his hand, “Hyung! Did you seriously think I’d fall for that? We’ve been friends ever since you were wearing those hideous glasses.”
Seokjin looks affronted. “Hideous? Excuse me? I look good wearing anything for your information.”
“You are excused,” Jaehwan looks at Seokjin and then points at the door.
“What?” Seokjin was confused.
“You told me to excuse you.” Jaehwan rolls his eyes.
“Yah! Jaehwan-ah! Just let me sleep here for a week, huh?” Seokjin pleads while fluttering his eyelashes and speaking in pout, basically putting on his famous pretty boy look.
“My apartment is cramped as it is hyung. I can barely fit myself in my bed, where would you sleep?” Jaehwan scratches his head and scans the area. His apartment is really meant for one person.
“I’ll sleep on your couch. It looks decent enough for me.” Seokjin gestures to the couch and crashed into it, as he reached into the table and opened another bag of chips.
“Then my heating bill would be doubled!” Jaehwan plops down into the other couch. He’s tired of stopping Seokjin so he might as well eat before Seokjin finished all of his food.
“I’d pay for it. I’ll stock up your fridge and cook for you. Just let me sleep here, Jaehwannie. I promise I’ll be the best roommate, huh?” Seokjin lets out a cheery laugh.
“That would be great, Jin-hyung. But if you’re not broke, then why are you here? Just go home, hyung!” But Seokjin doesn’t answer and just took another bite.
“Is there something wrong? Did you and your roommate fight over something? What was his name again, Seojoon? Yeonjun? Sehun? Namseon? ” Seokjin would like to applaud Jaewan for his quick wit but with each name Jaehwan mentions, Seokjin looks more unimpressed.
Seokjin scoffs before taking a chip out of the bag. “Namjoon. You’re good at memorizing scripts but you suck at remembering people. And nothing’s wrong with us, I just wanted space. A change of environment, you know?” He raises his two chips together and then separates it with a lame sound effect.
“Change of environment, huh? As if, hyung. Do you really think you could fool me? You don’t easily give up on things. You try hard until the end. So what’s the problem now?” Jaehwan stared at him, expectant of an answer.
“It just turned out that way.” He shrugs. “You know. It happens.”
Jaehwan cranks his head as he reached the abandoned bag of chipschips on the floor and looked at Seokjin. “I don’t think so.” He stared at the ceiling, trying to find the right words to say. “You’re not a ‘it-happens’ kind of guy. You don’t like excuses.”
“Well, that was me before.” Seokjin stared at the ceiling too, as if he was expecting words to appear and magically give him an answer as to why things happened.
“Then what changed?” Jaehwan asks.
“A lot of things,” Seokjin answered and closed his eyes. “Including me, I changed a lot.”
“Was it for better or worse?”
“Huh?” Seokjin looks at Jaehwan.
“Was the change for better or worse?” The words rang in Seokjin ears, but as the thoughts reached his mind, there was no definite answer waiting for him.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, I don’t know either, hyung. Because you’re the only one who could answer that.” He stands up and motions to leave the living room. Seeing the scene unfold before him, Seokjin remembered something. He’s standing up to leave, just like I how left Namjoon that day.
“I would rather have you crying than pretending that you’re fine. It makes me feel sick seeing how you’re torturing yourself to appear as someone you’re not.” He doesn’t give Seokjin time to answer and resumes, “You’re one of the toughest people I know, Seokjin-hyung. Knowing you for eight years taught me that. I just wish you’d just cry like before and release all the frustration you feel right now. You know that one quote from this famous book? Pain demands to be felt.”
He spares Seokjin another glance and heads towards the door. “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel pain. I really would rather buy you tissues than food. Partly because you eat so much but I just really want to help you feel okay, make sure your tear ducts are still there to do its job.” He laughs as he takes his shoes and kneels down to put them on.
“If this is how you want things to be, then fine, you can stay here for a week. Just listen to me and cry, please. You’re getting rusty with your acting skills, hyung, the moment you walked through my door, I felt something was wrong. I’ll just go out and buy us something to eat, I don’t wanna be a bad guy and force you to cook when you can barely pull yourself together. Let’s talk when I come back, alright?”
Seokjin doesn’t answer but Jaehwan takes that as a yes.
30 minutes later, Jaehwan comes back with two plastic bags full of food and another small plastic bag with tissues. “I don’t know what you’re craving today so I bought everything I could think of. I have jjajangmyeon, ramyeon, stir fried vegetables, and chicken. It’s my treat.”
“Thanks, Jaehwannie.” Seokjin gives him a sad smile.
“Don’t force yourself to smile if you don’t feel like it, hyung.” Jaehwan grins as he takes off the cover of the jjajangmyeon and places it before Seokjin.
“Okay.” They both dug into the food and in a short while, everything was finished already.
“Hyung, are you really heartbroken or something? You finished everything!” Jaehwan counts the number of bowls Seokjin ate.
“You told me it’s your treat!” Seokjin reasons out and wiped his mouth with a napkin.
“I can’t believe you would never pass up a treat no matter what happens. You’re seriously amazing, hyung.” Jaehwan gives Seokjin a thumb up.
Seokjin felt a little less worried when Jaehwan offered him a kind smile. They knew each other since he was in 11th Grade and they were friends ever since. They were both members of the theatre club; they helped each other memorize scripts and hung out in the auditorium before and after rehearsals. Jaehwan was totally different from Namjoon. But Seokjin liked Jaehwan’s company too. He was easy to be with, Seokjin felt genuine when he was with Jaehwan. As if there was no need to act, and even if he does act differently, Jaehwan knew and cracked the walls he built around himself. When he finally shifted to acting, he was surprised to meet Jaehwan in the performing arts building. Jaehwan was already two years ahead of him so he helped him cope with a lot of pressure, told him a few tips about the professors he had, and coached him in the different productions he was in. He was beyond thankful for that.
For Seokjin, friendship is like drowning is the sea. But you won’t be alone. Because there will be someone to reach your hand and raise you from the depths of the ocean. You’ll never be alone if you have a friend, a friend that will always welcome you with open arms after you were lost at sea. A friend who’ll wrap you in a towel and give you warmth when you’re cold. A friend who’ll be there for you at every step, as you find your way back home.
“You’re gonna be okay, hyung.” Jaehwan reaches out to hold Seokjin’s hand.
Seokjin gave him his first genuine smile that day. Seokjin hopes too. He hopes that he’ll be okay. That they’re gonna be okay. That he and Namjoon will be okay. He desperately wishes with all of his heart. Even if his heart doesn’t beat anymore. Even if his heart had stopped beating the moment he closed the door and his gaze left Namjoon’s face.
“I’m home!” Taehyung’s baritone voice thunders throughout the whole apartment. Namjoon looks up from his book to look at Taehyung and forced himself to smile.
“Where’s Seokjin-hyung?” Taehyung asks as he takes off his shoes near the door.
The mere mention of Seokjin’s name and his heart ached again. I just wish he’d come home. I just wish Seokjin would come home to me.
He pretends to read and acts as if he didn’t hear anything, making Taehyung ask again. He still doesn’t answer so Taehyung marches into Seokjin’s room and was confused on how empty it looked like.
“Seokjin-hyung still didn’t come home? I thought he took the 10 AM bus?” Taehyung strides out of the room and takes Namjoon’s book away from him.
“Don’t you hear me, hyungie? I asked where Seokjin-hyung is. We usually eat together after winter break because Jin-hyung always cooks seaweed soup for me. As a belated birthday celebration. Don’t you remember?” Taehyung eyes Namjoon and waits for answer.
“I don’t know.” Namjoon cups his face with both of his hands and tries hard to hide that his breathing has become shallow, and anytime his tears are about to start falling again. He can’t face anyone like this. He needs to ask Taehyung to leave.
“Seokjin-hyung, hasn’t texted you yet? Should I text him? Maybe he’s just running late because he bought stuff from the grocery store. The guys are coming soon.” He types furiously on his phone and was about to hit send when Namjoon suddenly speaks.
“You should text the guys not to come. I think we can’t eat together today. You should go back to your dorm too. Please, Taehyungie.” Namjoon pleads, with his head kept low and tears on the brink of falling.
Taehyung was about to ask why when Namjoon’s voice cracks with another ‘please,’ and Taehyung has no choice but to leave.
Before he opened the door, Taehyung turns around to look at Namjoon, who was staring blankly at the clock. He felt sad when he found the words that could perfectly describe his hyung. His eyes looked so empty. He looked miserable. Taehyung had never seen him like that before. The person he was looking at was not the Namjoon-hyung he knows.
operation: make the dumb idiots realize they’re inlove
(chim, tae, kook, hobi, yoongi hyung)
tae
uhhh guys???
namjoon hyung is acting weird
like rlly rlly weird
he asked me to tell you guys to dont come and he didnt tell me why
he made me leave too
chim
so our post winter break hangout is cancelled??? i was just putting on some jeans
and isn’t that weird?? why don’t we ask seokjin hyung
tae
i tried calling, but his phone is off
this is really weird
we always ate at their apartment once we come home from break
hobi
hello wonderful people!!! \^0^/
whats the matter
tae
namjoon hyung and seokjin hyung are acting weird
hobi
huh?? what kind of weird??
kook
why don’t you just backread hyung
hobi
brat
fine
kook
isn’t it really weird???
i think something is wrong
did u notice anything while u were talking to namjoon hyung , taehyung hyungie??
tae
he wouldn’t look into my eyes, which is weird
also his voice sounded like he was pleading
it cracked too
i haven’t seen namjoon look so sad
it makes me sad too ☹
chim
something is really fishy
did he and seokjin hyung fight?\
like f.o?
yoongi hyung
what the hell is f.o
tae
it stands for friendship over
u should learn millennial stuff from me hyung
youre being left out
yoongi hyung
hobi teaches me well fyi
hobi
woaaaah my love can use fyi now
@yoongi hyung and ofc i teach u well ;)
chim
can we please keep the flirting to personal messages
and get back to our situation
hobi
ok fine
but i really think its lq
babe before u could ask its lovers quarrel ;)
kook
didn’t seokjin hyung like another guy??
the one hes crying about
tae
there are two answers
chim
and what are those
tae
yes and no ofc duh
chim
really taetae -_-
tae
why???? am i wrong?
hobi
well he isn’t wrong
tae
i knew i could count on you hobi hyung
ur my favourite hyung now uwu
hobi
im flattered uwu
but really, I just wanna ask
if seokjin hyung isn’t home
where the hell is he?
yoongi hyung
I texted his mom
She says hes dropping by at jaehwan’s
chim
who
tae
wth is jaehwan
kook
jaehwan who??
hobi
why do u have seokjin hyung’s mom’s number babe?
yoongi
she gave it to me for emergencies
u know when seokjin hyung and i used to be roommates
but we keep in touch
@hobi babe and where do u think where i got kimchi???
daegu is too far away and it would be a waste just to travel for kimchi
so seokjin hyung’s mom gave me kimchi every season
also
well he wouldn’t come to any of us
its common sense
tae
and why is that??? i am offended
hobi
ur a dumbass
ofc he wouldn’t go to us tae
because he thinks wed tell namjoonie
also @yoongi hyung babe i love ur connections
tae
i take it back
ur not my favourite hyung anymore
hobi
>.>>>>>>>>>>>>
tae
<.<<<<<<<<<<<<
kook
who is this jaehwan anw?
is he a hyung
yoongi
hes older than all of us
he was classmates with seokjin hyung in high school
and i know him bec sometimes i see him with seokjin hyung
when we roomed together
i think they were close
chim
is he the guy seokjin hyung likes???
and they were classmates too
OMG
yoongi
how would i know
but i think hes there
tae
WAIT I KNOW NOW
maybe namjoon hyung confessed to seokjin hyung during the break and he got dumped
and it because its awkward seokjin hyung wont come home for a while
chim
and then why is at this jaehwan guy’s place??
kook
maybe because seokjin hyung feels bad???
so hes giving namjoon hyung space
and hes crashing at his place because theyre boyfriends??? idk
hobi
this is the only time u kids made sense
but i can believe it
its likely but something is still off
babe where does this jaehwan live anyway @yoongi hyung ??
yoongi hyung
how would i know
am i his cousin or something
hobi
really babe
really
chim
oooooooh so its our first mission??
find out where this jaehwan guy lives??
tae
im on it chim ;))))))))))
hobi changes the chat name to detectives who are finding out who is the guy seokjin hyung likes
yoongi hyung
it sounds tacky and pretentious
hobi
=_=
yoongi hyung
wow the name sounds great babe!!
hobi
^3^
Five years ago
After his confession, Seokjin blocked all of his form of communication with Namjoon. And now, two months have passed without any news about Namjoon. He really wanted to reach out but he was ashamed. He ruined something great they’ve been sharing for years. All of it has gone down the drain just after a phone call. He shouldn’t have wanted more; he shouldn’t have crossed the boundary. There is a very thin line between love and friendship, and even just a toe out of that line would lead a great friendship to its ruins. Like the one he had with Namjoon. He feels so stupid.
He can’t even tell Namjoon his great news, that his parents had already agreed to let him shift to acting from culinary arts. They had a long talk but it went well, his parents told him they were sorry that they pressured him into something he doesn’t want to do. They also told him that from that point, they support anything he wanted to pursue, that he should just do what he’s passionate about. He was overjoyed that he automatically reached for his phone to call Namjoon. He was about to press the call button when he remembered that he longer shared a relationship with Namjoon. He doesn’t even know what they are. They were worse than strangers.
It was Valentine’s Day and Seokjin feels so bitter. Even Yoongi wasn’t there to be bitter with him, because apparently, he scored a date with that red-haired dance major whose mouth turns into a heart when he smiles. He doesn’t know his name but he looks like a good guy. Yoongi also started going out of his room after he started seeing that dance major. At least one of them was enjoying Valentine’s Day.
After his classes, he just locked himself in his room and laid on the bed. He was about to scream into his pillow again when he heard someone frantically knocking at his door. He groans, because he wasn’t in the mood to face anyone. He would probably just get irritated but the insistent knocking wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.
“What?” He snaps as he opened the door and revealed a dishevelled Namjoon holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a guitar strapped in his back.
He stared wide-eyed at Namjoon, he was at a loss for words. How is Namjoon here? Is this is a freaking dream? But Namjoon was in a hurry and dashed into the room, knocking him over as he rushed to close the door as soon as he was inside.
“What the hell?” He complains as Namjoon helps him get up. Is this how people welcome each other in Paris? How ridiculous.
He glares at Namjoon. But Namjoon’s eyes looked so apologetic and it made him soft. “I’m so sorry, Jinnie-hyung! I just ran when they asked me in the reception who I’m visiting. I didn’t know that they needed to get a heads up before a visit and this just really ruined the surprise. I’m so sorry.”
He was confused about what Namjoon was talking about when someone knocked on his door again. He looks at Namjoon for an answer but the younger man just looked at him with remorse.
When he opened the door, a security officer was waiting outside. “Excuse me? Is this the unit the man who ran from us went into? We just need his name for protocol.” The security officer scans the room and his eyes locked with Namjoon’s. Namjoon instantly lowered his head in embarrassment.
Seokjin felt humiliation rush into his system. “Ah, yes. His name is Kim Namjoon. I’m terribly sorry for the inconvenience.” He shoots Namjoon another glare and turns to the guard to smile sweetly. “I promise it won’t happen again. My friend was just overly excited to see me.”
“Is that so? I would just like to remind you that visits should be coordinated with the front desk. We will not tolerate this action if this happens again.” The security officer gives him a curt nod and leaves.
Seokjin heaves out a sigh once the officer has left. He turns to look at Namjoon, who was still staring at the floor.
“Is the floor more interesting to look at? Or would you like to explain, Kim Namjoon-ssi? I can’t believe I got a warning from the security staff.” He shakes his head in disbelief.
Namjoon smiles apologetically. “I’m terribly sorry, hyung. I just wanted to surprise you. And you know I couldn’t call because you blocked my number.”
But to Seokjin, it doesn’t make sense at all. How does Namjoon know his unit number? Is he some sort of stalker? Who would tell him? He can’t think of anyone.
“Then, how do you know my unit number? Oh my god. Are you stalking me, Kim Namjoon?” He asks eyes wide.
Namjoon turned into a pit of incoherent answers. “Yes, I mean no. No. No, I’m not stalking you. You’re roommates with Yoongi-hyung, right? I used to rap underground with him, you know, when I started rebelling from my parents.”
Seokjin looks unimpressed. “Okay, I’ll give you that. Then why are you here?” He looks at Namjoon’s eyes.
Without a beat, Namjoon answered, “I wanted to see you.”
Seokjin shakes his head. “Why do you want to see me? Don’t make this harder for me, Namjoon-ah. I told you I like you. We can’t be friends anymore.”
“But I like you too, hyung.” Namjoon confesses and his face turns red.
Seokjin’s eyes trail from the bouquet on his table, the guitar on his back and at Namjoon’s face. It almost looks like he prepared sorry gifts. But knowing Namjoon, it could be just some spiel he would do for his best friend. He doesn’t want to have his hopes up and get rejected again.
“Of course, you like me. We’re best friends.”
“We aren’t best friends, hyung.” Namjoon interjects.
“Then what are we? Are we demoted to strangers?” Seokjin rolls his eyes.
“Of course not. Aren’t we supposed to be dating?” Namjoon scratches his head and reaches out to grab the bouquet and offered it to Seokjin.
“Why are you giving me this? Didn’t you reject me over the phone call? You should have just told me you didn’t like me, instead of dropping the call. I would have liked that better. It would have hurt less.” He looks at Namjoon with glassy eyes. Seokjin feels like he would cry any minute now. He was happy to see Namjoon, but all he could remember in his head was that damn phone call.
Namjoon was vigorously shaking his head. “I didn’t reject you, hyung! Believe me. My phone just died at that moment. I was flustered that you confessed to me first then my phone died. When I opened it again, I couldn’t reach you anymore. I’m really sorry hyung.”
Seokjin felt like a fool. What the hell? Why did Namjoon’s phone have to die at that moment? When he was confessing his love to his best friend? Destiny, what the actual fuck? Are you playing with me?
Seokjin still couldn’t believe what he heard. “So, you like me too?” He asks carefully. He can’t afford to be an assuming loser again. He’s been wallowing for two months for nothing.
“Yes, I like you, hyung. I like you Jinnie-hyung.” Namjoon smiles bashfully.
“Then prove it to me.” Seokjin dares.
Namjoon sealed the gap between them as Seokjin closed his eyes. Then he felt Namjoon’s lips on his forehead instead. They were just in his apartment’s living room but Seokjin felt that moment was something he would treasure forever.
“I promise you, hyung,” he smiles and kisses Seokjin’s temple. “Would you like to hear the song I wrote for you?”
Seokjin returns his smile and concluded that those two months were nothing compared to this moment. He would trade two months of loneliness for a day of happiness in a heartbeat.
It’s been a week Seokjin texted Namjoon that he isn’t coming home, and his days were passing by without meaning. He was terribly worried, his mind always asks him anything about Seokjin. Where the hell is Seokjin staying? Is he comfortable? Is he eating well? Is he okay?
He tried to look for Seokjin, so he would know if he was going to his classes. But it looks like he is. Three days ago, he saw Seokjin walking with some acting majors and he looked happy. Namjoon felt a wave of relief rush over him. He was fine as long as Seokjin was okay. He would be okay. They just needed space from each other. That’s all. He tries to convince himself.
During the course of the week, he always came home to something weird. During the second day, he found out that his sheets and clothes were freshly laundered. The next day, all of his takeout containers disappeared and he was surprised to see that his fridge was stocked with edible food. On the fifth day, he found his microwaveable food stocks in the trash. Then he remembered, Seokjin was against eating those.
He could see traces of Seokjin and that was what kept him going. Seokjin still cared about him. They were okay. They were going back to normal. It was only a matter of time before Seokjin comes home. It’s fine. They’re going to fine.
On the eighth day, he came back home to a steaming home-cooked meal set up on the dining table. He hurriedly took off his shoes and placed his bag on the chair beside him. But as he read the note, he felt all positivity leave his system. All of his hope grew wings and fluttered away.
“im coming to get all of my things. just text me when youre away so i can come. im still going to pay for rent. ill just deposit in your account.”
He just stared at the food, until it was no longer giving off steam. The food is now cold. But the food wasn’t the only thing cold in the apartment. So is his heart.