Chapter Text
Yamaguchi stared out of the window of his parent’s car, following the light of the streetlamps at it swept across his face, rhythmic like the rise and fall of a sleeping cat’s breath. The car hummed underneath him. To his parents, Yamaguchi was feeling down because he was sick. What they didn’t fathom, however, is that he was heartbroken.
You really messed that one up, he thought.
Even though Tsukishima is ordinarily the observant one, Yamaguchi could tell he had made his friend really uncomfortable. Though the glare of his glasses often concealed his eyes, Yamaguchi could see that Tsukishima had been avoiding his gaze. He stumbled over his words and was constantly fidgeting. Was he sweating? When Tsukishima had first invited him over to his house, there was a part of him that hoped he was doing it for some reason other than convenience. But now, considering his friend’s allergic reaction to his feelings, he was sure Tsukishima didn’t like him, at least not the way he wanted him to.
What now?
Yamaguchi thought Tsukishima was a little off when he left. He hoped he hadn’t damaged their friendship, and, oh god, prayed, Tsuskishima wouldn’t suspect he had feelings for him. He wished he knew what the aloof blocker was thinking.
Maybe I should text him, then. Just to get an idea of what how he’s feeling.
In that case, he thought he should just start a simple conversation and let Tsukishima take it in the direction he wanted.
“‘Thanks again for taking care of me. I’m feeling a bit better now.’ -Tadashi”
Yamaguchi closed his phone and anxiously tapped the smooth plastic. He had forgotten the nerve-wracking feeling of waiting for an important response.
“‘Hopefully next time you’re over we can to something more fun.’ -Kei”
Yamaguchi’s eyes widened at the response, devouring it. It admittedly wasn’t what he was expecting- not that he was complaining.
It looks like we’re still good friends then. I guess I didn’t mess it up too bad.
After seeing Tsukishima being awkward all night, his heart had fluttered when he read the text. I mean, it was just a straightforward invitation to hang out as friends, right? He must be the one who’s being weird about it, he thought. Yamaguchi closed his eyes and tilted his head back to position it on his car seats’ headrest.
When Tsukishima had placed his hand on Yamaguchi’s forehead, the two had locked eyes. It was one of the only times the two made eye contact all day. He had felt so vulnerable and intrusive at the same time, so it barely lasted a second.
When he looked away, his eyes just looked so sad, he thought.
Yamaguchi was well aquainted with the dread of wanting to look at him all day, but always having to turn away whenever their gazes met, or else Tsukki would surely realise how he felt and freak out. It hurt him, constantly cutting their moments short. It was the kind of hurt that piled on the more he did it, like biting the same swollen part of your cheek over and over again. And since he never had time to heal, each time it would cripple him a bit more. Yamaguchi looked out the window, trying to think of something else before his family noticed something was wrong.
He had heard somewhere that you can only call it love if the other person feels the same way.