Chapter Text
The next day I meet him at the café. I’m tempted not to, but something pulls me to him.
He comes prepared, which is a relief.
He read everything the professor told us to, he even took notes and wrote a few questions. We set to work immediately and I am surprised because he is a fast learner. The morning passes quickly because we get immersed in discussion. He amazes me with very well thought out comments and questions.
When we finish, he seems very pleased with himself.
“Thank you, Sasuke, for helping me. You have no idea how much it means to me.” he says when we’re done.
Due to the success of our first tutoring session, he starts coming to the yogurt shop almost everyday. We go over the topics when the movement is slow, and whenever I have customers, he readily helps me.
“It is my parents’ shop, after all. It’s only right that I help out.” he says when I insist that he should’t help me.
Some of his friends start visiting too, and despite my initial resistance, I get along well with some of them, particularly a quiet guy named Gaara. Thankfully, his pink haired girlfriend hasn’t shown up, I don’t know how I would react.
“Admit it, you are enjoying it.” He says when he hears me humming a song to myself while cleaning up the counter.
Of course I am. I just don’t want to tell you.
“What?” I ask instead.
“Tutoring me”
“I’m just used to you by now.” Which is not exactly a lie.
He helps a lot in the store, and it isn’t even his job (Kakashi and Iruka refuse to pay him for it, but they always bring us lunch). He lifts the mood with his jokes. The clients like him a lot.
I start to like him.
I begin to think I was too quick to judge him because of his stunt that first day at the shop. He seems to have forgotten it completely, but I still hold it against him. It’s my only anchor to reality, stopping me from being pulled further towards him.
We go get coffee from the Gold Leaf Café during our breaks, or on particularly busy days, we go after the shift has ended and Kakashi or Iruka take over. Naruto has even memorized my order, double shot mocha soy milk latte, and I memorize his, decaf caramel latte with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles (no, he can’t drink it if it doesn’t have sprinkles “they’re essential”).
Itachi even stops by the yogurt shop once.
“Why are you here?”
“I got out of work early, so I thought, why not see my little brother in action”
I sigh in reply, annoyed.
As if it wasn’t fucking weird already, Naruto comes out the back door carrying the refill cookies for the topping bar. When he sees Itachi he freezes.
“Sasuke, you didn’t tell me your brother was hot.”
Itachi lets out a velvety laugh, surely flattered. A flash of jealousy runs through me.
“So this is the famous Naruto”
“Am I famous now?” Naruto asks turning towards me and raising his eyebrows, pleased.
“He talks about you all the time.”
“I don’t”
“Yes you do”
I ignore the last comment and avoid looking at Naruto.
“Are you going to buy something or just distract me during work?”
“Hey don’t talk to your clients like that, kid.” Itachi scolds me in a playful voice. “Naruto, since my brother is being insufferable, why don’t you help me out a bit”
Naruto almost drools when Itachi speaks to him, which is extremely irritating.
He walks my brother to the machines and helps him pick out some flavors. I sit with my arms crossed behind the counter pretending not to care about it all.
They go over to the topping table and Naruto lets him try all of them. They start laughing about something I can’t hear, but when Itachi comes to pay he’s still snickering with that sly smile of his.
“Come on Sasuke, lighten up a bit” he takes a spoonful of fro yo “mmmm, Naruto this is good. I never ever thought I’d like it.”
Naruto raises his eyebrows, pleased.
“Tell you what boys, if Kakashi and Iruka will let you out early tonight, Naruto is invited to dinner at our place.”
“But you don’t cook”
“Today I do, it’s my treat”
I glare at him.
“Thank you Itachi! We’ll be there” says Naruto bursting with energy.
“Well, see you later, and thanks for the yogurt!”
He leaves and the rest of the evening passes by quite fast. I get nervous by thinking that Naruto will be coming to my home, so I try to distract myself by doing all the tedious tasks I usually avoid.
When Kakashi arrives, Naruto quickly talks him into letting us leave early. With a hasty goodbye to him, we make our way to my home.
I was planning on being my usual cranky self, but he gets the best out of me with his silly humor and genuine excitement. Here is someone who can always have a nice time, even when he’s with me.
Dinner passes nicely, and it’s pleasant seeing my brother and Naruto getting along so well. Every drop of jealousy I felt before slips away during our time together. Naruto fits very nicely at our table, and he brings some much needed lightness to our usually gray home.
I even find myself thinking that I want him here. Everyday. I want him to stay and make my brother who rarely smiles, smile. I want him to make me smile and make me feel okay.
I almost reach to grab his hand, to feel his warmth.
Then it hits me, though.
The image of the pink haired girl, kissing his cheek the first day he came by the shop.
He has a fucking girlfriend, Sasuke.
I battle myself as I long for his touch but I know it’s not right of me to do it. Deep pain slashes through me, and my breathing quickens.
“Sasuke, are you okay?” Itachi asks concerned.
I try to tell him I am, but I suddenly can’t speak. My desire for Naruto and the need for him overwhelms me. My hands shake, as I raise my eyes, I see Naruto staring at me with wide eyes. He reaches for me, clearly worried too, but I snatch my hand away as fast as I can, and make a run for my room.
When I get there, I drop to the floor, right beside my bed. I try doing the breathing exercises my therapist taught me and I get a better hold of myself.
I don’t know how much time passes, but as I start to feel better, I hear a knock on the door.
“Sasuke, can I come in? Itachi went out for a bit and he asked me to check up on you. Honestly, I’m worried too.”
Without waiting for me to say anything, he opens the door and lets himself in. He sees me sitting up and takes the spot right next to me. With his left hand, he starts rubbing my back. I tense at the touch because it sends waves of pleasure through me, but I’m too pissed off with myself so instead of giving in, I say
“Why do you keep seeking me out? I didn’t ask to be your friend. I don’t want to be your friend”
He grabs my chin.
“Neither do I” he says, and just like that, he gently pushes his lips against mine.
I’m drunk on the kiss at first, his mouth is too hot, too sweet, but as soon as I realize what we’re doing I pull away.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“S-sasuke? What-“
“No. You don’t get to do this, Naruto. You don’t get to be nice with me, make me feel warm and wanted. You don’t get to ensnare me with those beautiful eyes of yours and then act like nothing is going on. You don’t get to kiss me and ask what’s wrong. You know what’s wrong. Stop playing fucking games.” My head hurts, and words feel tight in my throat. I want it, I want him, but not like this.
“I-I don’t understand, I thought you- I’m sorry I misread the signs. This isn’t a game to me, I don’t-“
“Stop acting confused. You know it’s fucking twisted. You have a girlfriend, I saw her. I saw you two the first day you came to the yogurt shop. The pretty girl with the pink hair.
I’m not going to be your plaything. If you want to cheat on her, by all means, just not with me.”
His eyes open up big. I think he’s going to say something and
He bursts out laughing.
This infuriates me so much.
“Do you think this is a fucking joke?”
“So this is what it’s about” he says taking my hand and stroking it softly “Sasuke, Sakura isn’t my girlfriend.”
“She’s,” I pause “not?” A rush of confusion, followed relief by passes through me.
“No, you dumbass. She’s my best friend, almost like a sister. That’s why she hugs me a lot and kisses my cheeks. We grew up together. Though now that I think about it from your perspective it could have looked like we were dating. I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear for you earlier.”
“So there’s nothing romantic going on between you two?” I ask to make sure of it.
“No. I mean, I did try to date her when we were younger, but she’s always been in love with Ino. I couldn’t possibly hope to compete with her. Over time I did realize that we’d be a terrible match and I encouraged her to tell Ino of her feelings for her. I’m so glad I did that, because they’re very happy together.”
Tears pool in the corner of my eyes, I wipe them away quickly, but he notices. He caresses my cheek gently.
“I want this. You. Us.” He waits, and my heart starts beating fast “So Sasuke, now it’s up to you. May I kiss you?”
I don’t say anything, this time, I press my lips against his. He kisses me back, anxiously, longingly.
His hot tongue moves against mine, in an infinite battle too pleasurable to stop.
A small moan escapes my mouth, and I feel Naruto smile against my lips.
His hands start toying with the hem of my shirt. Wherever he makes contact with my skin, electricity darts across me.
“Fuck, Naruto” I mutter softly “fuck, you’re so fucking beautiful. I’m sorry for lashing out on you.”
His blue eyes dart back up to mine, just as his hands finish slipping my dark shirt off. Then, he kisses my bare collarbone, making my nipples get hard. He pinches both of them and proceeds to suck them softly. I shiver under his touch. I can’t and I won’t make him stop. He’s addictive.
He drags his hands to my lower abdomen and looks at me seeking consent. I give it with a small nod and plant another kiss on his lips.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this” he says. He places his hands on my jeans, where my hard dick is throbbing ready to be let free.
He smiles as if I’ve given him a gift. He unzips my jeans and pulls them down. He starts tracing my hips with his tongue. I shiver and take a grip on his soft hair. I’ve never felt more alive before.
My whole body feels like it’s engulfed in flames, and the world vanishes around me. It’s only us in that moment. He teases me, biting my skin on sensitive areas. He brushes his fingers against my balls and I’m ecstatic. I become more desperate, needing to find relief. My dick hurts so much, reacting to his touch.
“N-naruto”
“Yes, Sasuke?” He asks teasing
“I need you. P-please.” I never thought I’d beg Naruto Uzumaki, but life keeps finding ways to surprise me.
“Louder, please” he says
“Fuck Naruto. FUCK ME.” I say raising my voice, losing my patience.
He smiles naughtily and grips my cock. He gives it a few strokes and pre-cum oozes out. He licks it eagerly, and the gesture turns me on more than I could ever admit to.
In return, I unzip his pants and press my hand to his dick, which is also slick with pre-cum. I lick my lips hungrily when I realize Fuck It’s bigger than I imagined.
———-
When we finish I lie on his chest. I feel oddly at peace. We stay quiet just enjoying the moment, or perhaps he has fallen asleep, I don’t really know.
Maybe this is another shot at happiness , I tell myself. Maybe he does love me, or wants to, at least.
A faint smile appears on my lips, and I inhale.
Wish I could just freeze time right here.
———
“Good morning lovebirds” says Itachi while knocking on my door. “You’ll be late for class if you don’t get up. Anyway I’m leaving now, just make sure you do get to work or your bosses might kill me.”
Naruto raises his head and rubs his sleepy eyes with one hand while he lazily nudges me with the other. I look up at him and my stone cold heart melts a little. His bedhead is as adorable as I imagined. Not that I’d thought about how he’d look waking up, before…
I get up with a loud grunt and drag myself into the shower. Naruto joins me a few seconds later. It’s impossible for us to keep our hands off each other, but we manage to get out of there squeaky clean.
We go to the kitchen and I pour two traveling cups of coffee and offer him an apple.
“What is this?” He asks turning the apple around
“Breakfast”
“YOU CALL THIS BREAKFAST?” He looks at me astonished “god you’re weird. No wonder you’re always in a bad mood. Come on I’ll get you good breakfast.”
He takes his cup in one hand and grabs my own hand with the other.
We walk towards the campus like that, and surprisingly I’m not ashamed to let people see me holding hands with him, which is weird because I’ve always had a problem with pda.
On our way to class, he stops in a small bakery and gets us two sandwiches and a cinnamon roll to share. It’s the best breakfast I’ve had in my life. Actually, I think it’s the first real breakfast I’ve had.
He smiles pleased when he sees me enjoying it.
We get to class together and he sits next to me. I can barely concentrate because I can’t stop admiring his face. He takes notes for both of us though. If there’s one thing about him, nothing will ever get in his way of working. He just keeps trying and trying until he gets it.
After class, we separate, because I have another lecture and he has a meeting with his club- I don’t really know what club he’s in though, I’m pretty sure he told me once but I completely ignored him.
I meet him at work later and we have a great day together. We use our free time to start outlining our final essays and get ready for the end of the semester.
We fall into a pleasant routine like that.
We walk together to class everyday, he always brings me breakfast
“You can’t go through life without enjoying a good breakfast everyday, Sasuke” He tells me
We part ways after class and then we meet back later at the yogurt shop. We work a lot, both on our essays and with the clients. When we’re done, we walk to the park and read under the willow tree.
We bring different books everyday, and sometimes we switch. I’m surprised because Naruto actually has good taste in books. I would have never imagined it.
I really appreciate those times alone with him, though I start to like hanging out with his friends too. I guess I could even start calling them my friends.
We even go on a few double dates with Sakura and Ino. I’m a bit distant at first, it’s embarrassing because I thought she was dating Naruto, but when I start talking to her, I realize why he loves her so much.
She’s sweet and very (I mean VERY) smart. She’s dedicated and kind. She talks a lot about school, because she’s studying medicine with her girlfriend. They both study a lot and they act like Naruto’s second parents, always giving him health advice and worrying about his food choices. He’s very reluctant about eating vegetables.
Ino is quiet at times, but when she speaks, she’s the funniest. I would have never guessed she would be nice. She’s one of those girls too pretty to talk to, looks like she’s got everything under control all the time. But when she opens up, she’s the cutest human being.
————————
Looking at them as a couple makes me wish Naruto and I could be like that. If only I weren’t me.
I guess he could’ve been happier with someone like her. He deserves it.
It starts like this. Thoughts assault my brain at different times.
Sasuke everything is perfect. Naruto is happy, you are happy .
Is it happiness though?
He could do so much better than me. He’s probably going to realize that soon enough.
I try to push those thoughts away. Of course he loves me, right?
As the deadline for our final stares right at us in our face, my self sabotage grows.
“Sasuke it’s here. It’s today!!!” He says in his cheerful voice when he arrives at my home so we can walk to class together “We get to turn it in today and that’s it. We’re done! We get to see our hard work pay off finally.”
We’re done?
My brain gets stuck on that sentence.
“Sasuke?” I realize I’m not moving “Come on, we’ll be late”
“Yeah, sorry”
We’re done?
After this, he won’t need me anymore. Perhaps this is the last time we’ll walk together. On our way, he talks about something, but I can barely hear a word he’s saying.
We’re done
We hand in our essays, and the final lecture is a bit interesting, I hardly remember a thing about it though.
“Hey, I’ll see you at the shop later.” He plants a kiss on my cheek before we separate.
The day turns into hell for me. I don’t understand why my brain is doing this, but I know being with Naruto has been too good to be true. He’ll leave me now that the semester is over, but it’s better, before he realizes who I am.
It’s all very hazy and blurry. I somehow pass through my day and end up at the yogurt shop I’m grumpier than usual and react too harshly with some of the clients. When Naruto shows up, I’m sitting behind the counter with my arms crossed and perhaps a dark look on my face.
“Sasuke, are you alright? You’ve been acting weird all day”
“Why would I not be okay?”
You’re going to break up with me soon. Your friends are too good and I’m an awful person. You couldn’t possibly want to be with me for anything now that we’re done with school.
My brain gets stuck in dark places sometimes, I want to say, but I don’t.
“I don’t know, you’ve been jumpy all day”
Help me, tell me you love me. Tell me you want to stay. I want to scream.
My only response is a shrug.
He pulls up a chair
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you” he says quietly. He tries to reach out for me but I flinch. “That day, at your home, when Itachi cooked us dinner. You had a panic attack. I- I don’t know if it’s okay to talk to you about this, but I’d like to know what happened to you… Has something happened to you? Itachi told me you’ve been seeing a therapist for a bit, and I’d like to know why, and if today has anything to do with that.”
Oh I wish I could tell him everything about me, but it’ll just make him hate me. I’m worthless.
“What do you care? Do you want to mock me like everyone else does? You are a happy person, you wouldn’t possibly want to be with me, because I’m not like you. You don’t know what it’s like to be hurt. You’ll never understand me. Stop- I- just want to be alone, that’s how it’s always been and that’s how it’ll always be. People like you, who have friends and who’ve always been happy will never, ever understand someone like me. You made up a whole play about being friends with me and falling for me and making me have friends. But I know you’ll leave me now. You don’t need me anymore. Your essay is done, the semester is over, so you can return to your overly perfect existence and ….”
I kick the chair, take my things and leave.
Perhaps he calls out after me, I don’t know.
I can’t find my way home. My eyes get cloudy with tears and breathing gets so hard. I walk in circles feeling disoriented, everything spins.
Why did I do that?
It’s better that way. He’ll find someone who’s as whole as he is.
Eventually I find my way home, but the door is locked. I can’t find the key.
I sit down next to the door and cry.
It rains.
————
“Sasuke?” I hear someone say
“Sasuke, come on. Let’s get you inside, you’re dripping”
“I-Itachi?”
He picks me up and takes me inside. He helps me take off my clothes and puts me in a hot bath.
“You had a panic attack. It’s okay” he says “I’m here now”
He leaves me there. I soak in the tub until my fingers shrivel up. I feel tired, and guilty, but I don’t do anything about it.
When I finish I dry myself up, put on some sweatpants and lay on my bed.
He appears a few minutes later with a cup of tea in his hand and places it on my nightstand.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head
“That’s okay, I called Shizune” my therapist “she told me you should rest for a few days, she’ll see you when you feel like it, do you want to?”
I nod
“I know you want to be left alone, just remember something. You’re loved, you deserve to be loved. What happened to us is not your fault. Make sure you don’t push anyone away because of it.”
His last sentence hits me hard and I shiver. I picture Naruto’s face.
He leaves and I sleep.
Days pass and I sleep a lot. Itachi checks up on me regularly, making sure I eat and bathe everyday. He lends me an ear if I want to talk, I don’t, though. He’s quiet and supportive, he doesn’t push me, instead he gives me space, waiting until I feel ready for it.
Naruto calls me a lot, but I let his calls go to voicemail and I never listen to it. He also texts me, so I mute him. I wouldn’t know how to talk to him or what to say. I was unfair to him, but a part of me knows it’s hard to love me. He won’t like who I am.
Shizune texts me too, she checks up on me and tells me she’ll need to readjust my medicine and that she feels it’ll be good if I talk to her.
————
“Sasuke, someone’s here to see you” says Itachi calmly from the other side of the door “It’s okay if you want to be left alone, but I think this might help you”
“Tell Naruto to go away”
“It’s not Naruto”
“Sasuke, can I talk to you for a bit?” Kakashi’s voice startles me. I want to say no, but I can’t stop myself when I say
“Mhmm”
He opens the door carefully and comes in as if I were a child he didn’t want to wake up.
“How are you feeling?” When I don’t reply, he adds “We’ve missed you”
He gestures towards my bed, silently asking if he can sit next to me. There’s no other place in my room to sit, so I just nod in approval.
He takes the spot and looks deeply at me before starting
“I don’t pretend to know what your relationship with Naruto is like, but I’ve never seen him like that. What I do know is, that loneliness you feel, that you’re attatched to, speaks to him like nothing ever has. He feels drawn to you not because you’ve been hurt, but because he’s been hurt. I thought he’d never meet anyone who knew his pain, yet here you are. I don’t know your story Sasuke, I know his, and from what I’ve seen, I feel you need to know it too. His story isn’t mine to tell, but I’m afraid if I don’t, you’ll never understand.”
“I-“
I start to tell him I don’t care, but I stop myself, because I realize that a part of me does. I need an explanation, a reason why he was so invested in our ...whatever it was. An explanation I was too much of a coward to ask of him, to show him I care too.
“Naruto’s parents were killed in an attack when he was a child. He was placed in foster care, but the people in charge of did not only neglect him, they beat him around badly. They believed the kid was cursed because bad things happened around him, little did they know it was their own fault.
One day as he was being beaten, he got caught on some wire that had been loose around the house. His face was badly cut, and that’s how he got those whisker-like scars on his face. He lost so much blood that day, the paramedics could barely save his life when they found him. The couple in charge had already fled after calling the emergency number.
After healing, Naruto didn’t want to be placed in foster care again, so he ran away. He was homeless for years. At 11, he started peeking in at the local school, where Iruka taught. He listened to his lessons from the window.
When Iruka found out, he started buying him food and teaching him privately. The kid didn’t even know how to read or do basic math. Naruto grew on him, he was full of kindness other people didn’t want to see. He invited him stay at his place after realizing he’d been sleeping at the park, right under the weeping willow.”
That hit me like a punch in the gut. I’d been the one to steal his spot, and instead of pushing me away, like I’d wanted to do, he shared it. He’d wanted me there.
A tear rolls down my cheek as I imagine a small Naruto curled up beneath the tree, shivering and alone at night. But I don’t feel pity for him, instead I feel a deep understanding.
That’s why he’s always been able to understand my language of scowls, frowns and grunts, because he could’ve become me.
Instead he became a kind soul, giving his love to anyone who’d take it. Even me.
“Iruka filed the paperwork not very long after, and by his 12th birthday, he became his son officially.” He continued. “He struggled a while. People at school rejected him a lot and laughed at him because there was still a lot he had to learn to catch up to them. Little by little, Naruto started earning his classmates’ friendship. Iruka got his pHD and started working for the university, but continued tutoring him after school.
Things got better, he worked so hard, he ate up books not because he liked them, but because he’d seen them as a way not to get left behind. His grades got a bit higher, and he started becoming the person you know today. The kid doesn’t know how to give up. That’s what’s gotten him to where he is.
I came in the picture somewhat later, but we got married shortly before Naruto started college. Iruka and I tried to convince him to go to another city for college, so he could get the full experience, but he didn’t want to. He said, he’d just gained a family, he wasn’t about to leave it. He applied here, struggled, got in, and I’ve never ever seen him happier, except when he met you.” He’s been so gentle explaining all this to me. I can see deep in his eyes, how much he loves him.
I’m speechless. I don’t even know how to feel. The only thing I want is to rush into Naruto’s arms, kiss him, and fix all the damage I’ve done to him.
“So, in case it still doesn’t make sense to you, let me explain. Naruto didn’t push you because he wanted to gain another friend, he did so because he recognized his own pain in you, and he’s not going to allow you to keep on feeling that way. It’s a promise he’s made to himself.”
After that, Kakashi leaves me alone and I make a choice.
——
I go to Shizune’s office to make sure I have the courage and I know how to express myself. She listens to me and helps me put my ideas in order. When I feel ready, I leave and pick up two coffees from Gold Leaf.
I stand nervous at the edge of the park. I look at the giant willow tree and see his too familiar figure sitting under it. I see him looking down and for a second think he’s reading. When I get closer, I realize, he’s not. He’s crying.
The moonlight makes his tears shine as they roll down his cheeks.
“You know, you shouldn’t cry over assholes” I say softly “you’re way too precious to waste your tears on some idiot. Plus, I’m pretty sure that idiot regrets it very much”
He looks up at me. My heart melts a little, his stare is enough to fill me with warmth.
I sit in front of him and place the coffee cups on the ground next to us, careful not to spill them. Then I take his hands hesitantly, scared he might pull back, but he lets me. They’re calloused, rough hands, gone through so much, so I raise them to my lips and plant little kisses on them.
He chuckles a bit, nervously. I know he’s unsure of what to say, so I speak instead.
“I brought you coffee”
“I noticed” he smiles and sniffles, wiping a little bit of snot. Then he grabs his cup and sips it. “It’s good, you remember my order”
“I need you to listen to me. I don’t know if I deserve your forgiveness, Naruto, but you deserve an explanation for everything. So if you want, I’d like to give it to you.”
He nods and I feel a bit relieved. I gather my courage and pour my heart out to him.
“I pushed you away, unfairly. I’ve been alone for so long, and I’m so used to people using me, hurting me, that I’ve stopped trusting. Hate and resentment have been my only way of interacting with the world, because that’s the only thing I’ve received. The only person I have, who’s understood and loved me, is my brother. So I figured, nobody could ever know my pain, except for him.
When I met you, Naruto, I never expected you’d be the way you are. I thought you were messing with me, pushing me around just to get on my nerves. But you seriously tried. You saw through my walls and my tough guy façade. I’ve been so scared of letting anyone in, because I felt I might either scare you away, or get hurt by you.”
My voice breaks a little, and I gather courage to tell him the next part. I’ve never spoken about it, but if someone can understand me, it’s him.
“My parents left Itachi and me when I was little. I-I don’t really know what happened. Itachi had been the model child all his life, he was a prodigy at school. I always tried to do as well as he did, but it was never enough for them. I had this sense that they would never love me as much as they did him.
One day, when I came back from school, they were gone. Itachi was there, just sitting quietly. He told me they were never coming back, and that I should stay quiet, so I wasn’t taken away to child services. He said we were better off without them anyway. I didn’t believe him, so I begged him to help me look for them. He refused, and I, couldn’t do anything about it.
We continued our routine, trying to maintain a sense of normalcy, but he kept slipping away. He as distant and so different from the brother I had. Shortly after he started leaving too. He was gone for long periods of time, only returning once a month to give me money so I could buy groceries. I never said anything, because I was too scared I’d be taken away from my home, like he’d told me. I hated him so much, for leaving me. For many years I harbored resentment towards him, and I also felt that he hated me because it was my fault our parents left.
I hated him so much, Naruto. For leaving me, for having to raise myself. I was so alone. When I got older, his visits got more frequent but I did everything to push him away. I wouldn’t let him near me again, just so he could hurt me one more time. Then he came home one evening, soaked in blood. He had wounds everywhere, he was on the verge of death.
You should’ve seen him. I can’t get rid of that image, a day I’ll never forget.
That’s how I found out he’d been working with a criminal gang, just so he could put food on my table. So I wouldn’t starve, and I wouldn’t be taken away from my safety. He gave everything up and suffered a living hell just for my sake. He was so very sick, and now he couldn’t work for them anymore, so they almost killed him.
I tried nursing him back to health, and started working two jobs. When he got a bit better, he put himself through school again and graduated summa cum laude. He encouraged me to go back to school, and helped me all the way through it.
After seeing how the world had treated my brother, how it had wronged us, I decided I would never trust anyone again, so I gave in to hate.
Until you showed up.
I didn’t believe in love, hell I didn’t believe anyone would want to come into my life without wanting to hurt me, without wanting to leave me. And here you are.”
Unable to control myself, tears roll unceasingly from my cheeks.
“I hurt you, Naruto, I hurt you so much. I didn’t believe I was worth it. I’m so sorry. I understand if you never want to see or speak-“
He cuts me off by kissing me. At first it’s a gentle kiss, but it starts getting rougher. He bites my lip, making me shiver, and then I feel his warm tongue asking for entrance. I part my mouth open, allowing him to fill me. I grasp the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me, assuring him I’ll never let him go.
We break the kiss and lie down on the damp grass, never letting go. He strokes my hair and I hold him tighter. We stay like that for what seems hours, tangled up in each other. Neither of us speak anymore, we don’t need to.
I take in his sweet scent, close my eyes and don’t realize when I start drifting off. Between my dreams and reality, I think I hear Naruto say “I’ll always take care of you. I’m going to mend your broken heart”
I wake up hearing the steady beat of his heart, my ear pressed to his chest. A quick thought that this is the most comfortable way I’ve ever slept crosses my mind. He’s still asleep, breathing heavily and there’s a hint of a smile on his face.
I start planting little kisses over his neck until his eyes flutter open.
“Morning” I say.
“Hey, you” he replies, still groggy “I’m glad you’re still here” he adds a lazy smile.
“I wanted to know the answer.” I smile and stroke his hair, placing it behind his ears “Did you figure it out?”
“Figure what out?” He looks at me confused.
“If you like me”
“Oh Sasuke,” relief washes over him, and I can’t help but notice the way he’s glowing “I thought you already knew”
“Knew what?”
“That I had it figured out the first time you frowned at me, everything else was just getting you to believe it”