Chapter Text
Zhongli finally felt human.
Despite taking in numbers of human forms, it was the first time he actually felt… humane.
He felt as if he was finally able to do reckless human things like evade taxes, be summoned to work by your boss, not having enough mora to pay for your meal (which he’s used to doing before), and expect and anticipate what the day brings you.
It wasn’t as if he’s no longer powerful. He’s still a god. A god who disguises himself amongst the crowd hoping to finally live a life. An archon who gave up his gnosis for something as valuable as it is in exchange.
An archon hoping to finally finish his paperworks so he could finally feel the fresh air from outside his office.
An archon who desperately craves for some tea from Heyu Tea House.
An archon who misses a friend.
A specific blonde friend with her floating companion.
His quill pressed on the paper a little too firmly for god knows how many times that day. He noticed that it happens every time a certain little traveler visits his mind. And if he isn’t mistaken, she crosses his mind more than five times within the past hour. Glancing at the bin full of papers he deemed imperfect, he assumed the number would be a little more than he deduced.
He sighed, leaning back on his seat, trying to cool his head off.
It has been a few weeks since he last saw her. Bidding her off to find her brother and for him to start his life. It was odd. He was used to his days going on exactly as it always does. Him waking up at the break of dawn, bathing, walking straight to work after a quick tea at his favourite place, perhaps lunch if the parlour isn’t too busy, the handful of paperworks Hu tao refuses to do and he enjoys doing, and then sleeping on his too large bed for one.
Zhongli didn’t know it was called loneliness until he heard it from Hu tao a few days ago.
“Aiyyaa, Zhongli. That pathetic bachelor life of your sucks. Who in their prime youth would waste it doing something so tedious?”
“You’re calling our job tedious?”, he asked, placing the newly signed papers on her desk, hoping the conversation would end so he could go back and finish his work to make some time for tea afterwards.
Hu tao clicked her tongue, waving a finger before him as she shook her head. “You need someone in your life, Zhongli. You need to be with someone so you won’t feel empty.”
“I do not need to not feel empty.”
She scoffed, folding her arms to her chest as she narrowed her eyes at him. “Oh, please. Even a smart encyclopedia like you would feel lonely! I’d like to set you up with the other boring girls here in Liyue but a lot of people just seem to be dying these days!”, she giggled, raising both of her hand suo in the air to show her excitement. Zhongli just continued staring at her.
“But perhaps I can help you figure things out,” She leaned forward, a smirk gracing her lips, hinting that whatever she’s going to say next, she’s thought of it so well as she would have her pranks.
Zhongli doubts his boss most of the time. Questioning her methods of shop promotion, her preference of coupon deals, and her advertisements. Yet this is the most he’s uncertain whatever she says could actually help him.
Because even if he, a god- an archon- doesn’t know how to fix his heart- or fill the gap in the void it has- what can a funeral director do to help him?
Kill him perhaps?
He chuckled in his mind. At this point, he wouldn’t really mind. But he’s determined to make the most of his life, he doesn’t mind the void following him as he ages and learns more of the world.
“Tell me, Zhongli. When was the last time you felt happy?”
He blinked, not expecting a question instead of a tease or joke from her.
“When was the last time your old little heart jumped at the sight of something- or someone! Assuming you’re not really a rock hahahaha!”, she laughed at her own joke but remained waiting for his answer. He just stared at her.
“When was the last time someone’s smile or laugh made you feel warm? Giddy? Or that it made you wish time would just stop there or fast forward to when you can see them again?”
“Who made you feel happy, Zhongli?”
Perhaps Hu tao said things more than the word loneliness but remembering it now, Zhongli’s head turned.
When was the last time he felt happy?
It certainly wasn’t when Guizhong died, nor when his connection with the other adeptis had to be tethered to fully commit to his decision to ‘die’, nor when he turned his back to Lumine and walked away, thinking his appointment with Heyu Tea House is much for important that sharing a few more seconds with the traveler.
He ran his hands through his face and slumped on his desk.
There has been no records in history where an archon was deeply devastated. Not one adepti has witnessed him breakdown, simply because he doesn’t. When he lost battles, he would just simply start one and win them. He’s never felt this emotion so strong before.
Frustration.
Right, he’s frustrated. Frustrated that he’s stuck in this loop he’s set up himsel. Frustrated that the truth of why he’s here, being frustrated, is that he basically allowed himself to be like this.
What was he thinking? A human life for him? He was sure he would be happy and content just working and observing the people of Liyue in a close distance but… he feels empty. A different kind of empty than the one he’s been feeling for thousands of years.
Perhaps it’s the same, just stronger and harder to ignore.
He turned his head to the open window to his right, hoping the cool breeze could help him get back on track. The wind flew in, letting the curtains dance graciously. His hair slightly moved but mostly stayed still. And his eyes land on a couple laughing as they pass by the window frame, their eyes staring at each other and genuine happiness enticed on their lips.
It was a beautiful sight.
Zhongli knows a far more beautiful sight.
Lumine’s smile.
And he’s reminded of another of his favourite moments with her. Well, to be fair, he revels all the moments he shares with her. But this time, this particular memory popped up.
The traveler suddenly received an urgent commission during their journey together. She insisted she go alone, leaving him a few hundred meters away from the battle. In all honesty, despite wanting to keep his facade, he wanted to help her. He didn’t judge her based on her small figure, but he surely won’t let her battle a bunch of abyss mages on her own. But she insisted. And he doesn’t know why but when she firmly told him to wait for her with her frustrated brows and tight face, he had no other answer but, “Ok. But stay safe, Miss Lumine.” She gave him a small smile before walking away, turning back at him a few feet further to wave before finally disappearing.
Perhaps she didn’t notice, but when she smiled, his eyes widened by a fraction. She left him with his mouth slightly agape and hands clenched, regretting not waving back at her.
It took hours. Hours of her not returning but his faith in her remained strong. She’s a fighter, he reminded himself. She saved Mondstadt. She fights Andrius and regisvines on a weekly basis for archon’s sake- but no matter what he tells himself, he just can’t stay calm.
Then, it was sundown and his patience could no longer hold it. He’d reveal his identity to her if necessary but he has to help her and make sure she’s alright.
And for the first time in a milenia, Zhongli- Rex Lapis- ran.
He ran to where Lumine ran, his spear already in his hand. He debated on transforming into a dragon to get there faster but soon enough halted when he spotted Paimon sitting on a tree branch. His breath was ragged, heart pounding from anxiety and the miles he ran. All the adrenaline slowly decreasing at the sigh of her small companion wistfully eating an apple as she happily sat. The fairy was a ravager, but surely she won’t be that calm when her friend is endangered , right?
He decided to compose himself, straighten his suit and wipe the forming sweat on his forehead. Just minutes ago he was ready to kill- to go against his own words of keeping himself from exposing his plans- yet here he is now, sneaking his way behind Paimon to see what she was guarding behind the plains.
And lo and behold, Lumine was seated on the grass a few feet away from the dusted bodies of several abyss mages. She was staring at the sinking sun. He could make out the soft glow of orange that reflected on her gold orbs, a small frown printed on her lips and just a tinge- just the tiniest hint of tears slowly drying out from the breeze of the incoming night. He stilled. He didn’t know what to say- what to do- what to think of. This was the first of the character to display such feelings and… brokenness.
In their short time together, she mostly kept to herself. Frowning when someone says something bad, shaking her head in disagreement, only speaking when necessary, reprimanding Paimon for speaking without thinking, and laughing at his odd statements. The closest he’d seen her normal, like the rest of the women of Liyue, was back when they talked about his female form. But she isn’t like any other women, isn’t she? She’s better than any, deeper, more compassionate, braver, independent, and simply… lovely.
Yet the said lovely woman is still sad under the forming starry night.
He decided to just go on with it.
“I’m glad to see you’re alright,” he strode towards her, avoiding her eyes to save her from any embarrassment in case she was still in tears. Thankfully, it seems she isn’t. “Mister Zhongli! I’m sorry- it took longer than I thought it would,” she attempted to stand, stopping when Zhongli raised his hand to stop her. “By all means, take a seat and rest. I’m sure you need it.” She hesitantly nodded.
For some time, they stared at the sun until it completely sank, the stars greeting them with delight and the cool night breeze making their hairs dance softly. They remained quiet, relishing the moment with each other until Zhongli finally spoke.
“To be completely honest, Miss Lumine, I notice you’ve been crying.” the sniff she made proved him so. She looked down, staring at the grass under her before she hummed. “I’m sorry. I often have breakdowns after long fights.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
Silence once more.
They continued like that until Lumine finally looked up at him. “Do you have someone you miss, Mister Zhongli?” He blinked at the question. He was aware of her missing brother, it being the point of her adventure. Did she miss him perhaps?
“Some old acquaintances... “
“Does it hurt not seeing them anymore?”
He gave her a calculating glance before answering. “Not as much as you miss your brother surely.” Was it too pushy? Insensitive? Intruding? He didn’t know which exactly but he reckoned it’s the wrong thing to say because soon after, the traveler started crying. “I- Miss Lumine, I-”. He started crouching to comfort her, hands panicking as he didn’t know where to put it in a respective place.
“I miss him.” she whispered.
“I miss him so much.”
It was as if her shell broke, leaving her naked before him. Her own facade of being emotionless and uncaring is thrown out to show what Lumine really feels. Pained, lonely. Alone. Empty.
Just like him.
Zhongli was respectful among many qualities, but he knew a pat on the back would send a great message. So he did. A pat, followed by another, then another, until his hands just went up and down to comfort her. He sucked at this, he knew. Xiao was vulnerable but he didn’t need any comfort like this. Ganyu often needed reassurance but Cloud Retainer was there to give it to her. Guizhong in her loneliness found comfort just staying beside him- but how he wants to give this woman assurance is new to him, and possibly to Lumine as well.
“Lumine, you’re working hard in finding him, are you not?”, she nodded, wiping her tears away to try and calm herself down. “It’s painful, I’m sure, and I’m even more certain that your brother feels the same way.” She held her arms close to her face but took a peak at him, her eyes still watery, tears falling on her cheeks. “But he wouldn’t like you seeing like this. I’m sure he’d want you to get up, be strong, keep fighting, and meet him at the end of your journey.”
She bit the inside of her cheeks, once again wiping her tears away, this time finally succeeding.
“Now, it’s always alright to cry. Pain is a normal emotion and all emotions are valid,” he continued, giving her his handkerchief which she gratefully accepted. “But always remember you have friends to comfort you and assist you in your journey.”
And once again, silence enveloped them. The distant sound of the waves echoing, the birds flying in the air often disrupting the silent noise, and Lumine’s quiet sniffing was all that was heard for a few minutes. But for Zhongli, he could hear his own heartbeat beating. It was calm but it was loud, like it was telling him something. Something that was already in front of him.
Yet he couldn’t take the hint.
She finally looked up, shaking her head as she composed herself, fisting her hands as if determined then turned to look at Zhongli. “You’re right. That was… very eye-opening Mister Zhongli.”
Then it hit him.
“I personally see us as closer than acquaintances at this point. If you don’t mind, I’d like you to drop the formalities,” was that what his heart was telling him? She blinked before nodding. “If the idea isn’t too preposterous, I actually see you as a friend now. I would like you to call me Lumine as well,” and as if he hadn’t seen her smile before, the small smile she flashed him almost blinded his eyes. Her eyes squinted, lips quirked upside and shoulders slightly rising as an expression of joy. Perhaps his heart isn’t done telling him something. “...Lumine,” he tried.
She beamed at the sound of her name coming from his lips and giggled. It was beyond adorable. Zhongli had the urge to say her name over and over again just to hear that sound again. “Well then, Zhongli. I should also tell you something,” she leaned closer, stopping when their faces are just a few inches apart.
“I’m your friend who can also comfort you in your journey.”
As the thought of her entered his brain again, he immediately stood up. Perhaps this is about her. Perhaps he didn’t want her to leave to Inazuma. Perhaps he should do something about it.
So he hurriedly put on his coat, rushing through the exit saying a hasty goodbye to their receptionist before marching his way to the Adventurer’s guild.
He had to know where she was.
He managed to make hundreds of plans and contingencies if she were truly already in Inazuma. It was incredible how he did that in his two minute walk from the parlour to the guild, but even more incredible that he didn’t have to do any of them.
Because just as he passed by Wanmin Restaurant, he spotted her talking to Katherine, her eyes focused as she listened to Katherine giving her instructions for her daily commissions. Her little floating companion hovering around her, wiggling with a chicken-mushroom skewer at hand.
She’s here.
It was as if time had stopped for Zhongli. After weeks of thinking about seeing her again, she’s actually in front of him. Safe, present, not in Inazuma.
She’s here.
He placed his hand on his beating heart, curious as to why it was beating too loud- too fast. He’s faced countless monsters and beasts yet this was the most it reacted. And it’s reacting to the sight of her- the thought that she’s safe, and that she’s here.
That he could talk to her again.
He dropped his hands, clenching it as if to prepare himself before he walked towards her.
He could hear his heart beating rapidly as he took a few steps so could be closer to the platform that led to her. His heart was too loud it muffled the conversation between Katheryn and Lumine who started inquiring more about the increasing danger. Her voice even threatened to make his heart beat even faster.
And when he was just a few feet away from her, he marveled at her gloriousness. The shadows from the roof gave her the perfect amount of sunlight to make her glow as she is. Her hair softly dancing in the air with her flowers. Her side profile is beautiful, amazing, perfect.
Zhongli thought he could spend decades doing the lousy same day over and over but he would rather prefer staring at this glorious being in front of him for eternity. No- more than that. More than eternity.
He wanted to say something, interrupt them and catch her attention, but at the same time he wanted to take this in more. He didn’t know what to say anyway.
But Paimon did.
“Oh hey! It’s Zhongli! Lumine, look!”, the floating companion’s loud voice made Lumine finally turn and see him. His amber eyes finally met her golden ones. He felt as if he were drowning and he didn’t want to get out of the vast sea of her golden orbs. He noticed her lips slowly quirk up into a soft smile, her right hand doing a small wave at him. “Zhongli. It’s been a while,” she greeted him, nodding to Katheryn before making her way down to greet him.
It took Zhongli half of his self control to not hug her or break his composure. He was overjoyed for some reason. Too overjoyed than he normally is. And he is never overjoyed.
It was odd being in front of her with nothing in mind to say. He reckoned it was the happiness stopping his brain from coming up with something. A simple ‘hi’ would have suffice, right? He managed to come up with numbers of plans if she wasn’t here, yet she’s there smiling at him and he didn’t know what to say.
Oh but how he enjoys seeing that smile.
“Wahah! I guess Liyue is wide after all! I can’t believe we haven’t seen you in weeks! We managed to bump into Chongyun almost everyday and Hu tao once a week!”, Paimon excitedly exclaimed, earning a giggle of agreement from Lumine. HE was caught off guard when she made the sound. It was.. Refreshing. He missed her.
“We missed you, Zhongli”, she grinned.
He missed her so much.
He cleared his throat, nodding in response. “I take it that you haven’t gone to Inazuma yet?”, hoping not to sound expectant or happy when she sighed defeatedly, he had to subtly pinch his arms behind his back as he nodded in understanding. “I see… I heard that it’s extremely hard to travel there nowadays. Perhaps I thought you would’ve managed.”
“Hey! Lumine isn’t a god! It’s not like the world is good to her! If anything, we’re really in a slump right now”, Lumine had to pull Paimon by her legs to be able to cover her mouth to make her shut up. “Paimon! That’s embarrassing! Don’t scream it out like that and making it sound like we’re pitiful,” the fairy squirmed and tried to escape from her grasp, only giving up when Luine let out an exasperated sigh.
“I’m sorry about your situation. Perhaps I could treat you to dinner to catch up? It’s the least I could do,” he humbly offered, earning a silent gasp from the girl and the surprised gist from Paimon. With her reaction, the hand holding Paimon went loose and she started floating up again. “You’d treat us? Really? Do you even have mora with you right now?”
He did not. But dinner wasn’t until a few hours anyway, he could still go home and grab money. Or perhaps they’d be lucky and bump into Childe on their way. He thinks Hu Tao’s got a lot of mora on her too.
“Zhongli please, we’re in not that kind of state. Paimon was exaggerating,” she glanced at her companion who sheepishly laughed. Zhongli blinked. “It’s just that with the festival coming up, it’s been harder for us to enjoy it. We agreed to help people, you see”, she smiled at him, the kind of smile that wasn’t forced. The kind of smile that showed that she truly cares and doesn’t mind that she’s not enjoying herself just to help people. The kind of smile that makes his heart flutter. He should have known she would be helping out if not exploring further in Teyvat.
He cleared his throat. “Very well. When is your next task? Perhaps I can help,” he offered, watching as the two ladies glanced at each other as if considering his offer. “You’d help us? Don’t you have business to do? Hu tao mentioned the increase of rate in-”, he cut her off, laughing with his deep voice to dismiss her. “That’s just her way of being optimistic. I assure you, no one is risking their life to miss the festival.” There was in fact an increase rate in their clients but that has largely decreased with the event coming up.
That made her think. She just stared at him, continuously blinking and humming to herself. His heart was rapidly beating, mildly curious as to why he’s this flustered and anxious about her incoming response. Archons, he’s faced monsters! He defeated Osial years ago. He’s gone through wars yet he couldn’t quite calm down at the fear of her rejection.
It’s an offer to assist her with her tasks, not marriage. He reminded himself.
“Well… I think there’s one task you could help me with,” She finally grinned. He nodded, a small smile enticing his lips as he secretly released the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “What can I help you with?,” he leaned his head lower, meeting her eyes that looked up at him. She remained smiling, unbothered with the sudden closeness between them. “There’s this commission that involves mitachurls and I could really use some help- you see, Xiangling, Razor, and Bennett are busy so-” He nodded, closing his eyes. “Say no more. I would love to be able to assist you. Where is this commission taking place?”
Lumine blinked for a couple of seconds before smiling. “Tomorrow, just near the waypoint at Qingyun Peak. It’s just on the foot of the mountain I believe. Would noon be a preferable time?”
Oh, anytime would be preferable for Zhongli. He’d love to say that he’d follow her anywhere, anytime, given any situations.
But saying that wouldn’t come out right given the situation, won’t it? So he settled with “Of course. I’ll see you then, Lumine.”
In all honesty, he didn’t want to leave her yet. It’s been a while since he’d seen her. He wanted to hear her stories, her adventure during the time they were apart- Archons, he wanted to ask her hand for marriage right then- but perhaps helping her with commission would also be ok. Yes, it would be more than ok. Since in the span of the short time they started talking again, the warm feeling in his heart has returned.
And it came with the gaze and smile of the woman before him.
“I’ll see you, Zhongli.”
Then came another feeling. Excitement and deep anticipation. He’s always been a very patient man, but he would fight the sun just to make the day pass faster.