Chapter Text
With just enough presence of mind, Carlos gently moves them away from the back door. He really doesn’t fancy his colleagues walking in on this moment for any reason. As soon as he has them around the corner though, engulfed in the semi-darkness of the terribly lit back-parking lot, he doesn’t care for anything else anymore. All he can do is sag against the brick wall and pull TK even closer.
They’ve found each other. God, they really have.
The gravity of this moment finally hits him, full force, and closing his eyes he buries his face in the man’s neck as he gives in to his emotions and lets his own tears fall.
He finally understands it now.
Back when his sister first realized her future husband was her soulmate, she had been in the middle of helping their Tia Lucy in the kitchen for Sunday lunch. She had cut her finger and her then-boyfriend had hastened to help with the blood – only to watch as the skin patched itself back together the longer he held her hand. They had both stared at each other with a kind of wonder. Then they began to cry and hug and sob. His sister had quite literally broken down into her boyfriend’s arms and he had cried into her hair as he kissed it, again and again.
Carlos had always wondered why they had cried, too young back then to understand the emotional toll such a revelation took on someone.
Now, as he’s holding onto TK, he finally sees it, finally feels it. These aren’t tears of grief or sorrow. They aren’t even tears of joy, not solely. They are an outlet for the emotional onslaught at such a revelation.
He pulls TK even tighter, breathing him in, soaking up his warmth.
They’ve found each other.
He really has found his soulmate and it’s the wonderful man he has fallen for the moment he first saw him. In all his life, he never dared to hope for a ‘love at first sight’-kind of bond – but he always dreamed of it. And he knows, with a sureness he can’t explain, that he would’ve fallen for TK even if they hadn’t been soulmates. He wouldn’t have cared if he was connected to the love of his life on that kind of level – because TK was it for him.
He tried to fight those feelings, tried to tame them. But they’ve been there this whole time, even after TK pulled back and made it clear he didn’t want him. Or rather, that he was too scared.
I was scared to lose you.
Given TK’s admission, Carlos can’t help that little shred of hope growing inside of him. Hope that maybe he won’t have to fight his feelings forever. There’s no question in his mind that he will give TK all the time needed – to heal, to find himself again, to move forward – of course he will. And if they come out on the other side of that with TK realizing that all he ever wants is Carlos’ friendship… well, then that’s how it will be.
But those are all thoughts for later. Right now, Carlos forces his attention back to the present.
Back to TK. Back to holding on tight, savoring the feeling of TK in his arms. Of TK’s hands digging into the small of his back as he clings on, letting it all out. The shock, the pent-up emotions, everything. Given all that TK has been through these past few weeks – months, possibly – it comes as no surprise to Carlos that he’s trembling in his arms. How long has he kept it bottled up? How long has he tried to numb his pain and fight against the grayness all at once?
He doesn’t know and he’s not sure TK could even remember the answer right now. The answer isn’t important, instead, Carlos focuses on the fact that he’s here now, with him. That Carlos can hold him and soothe him and give him all the strength he needs to heal. That he can be his rock until he’s whole again and even long after that.
He will forever be grateful for that.
When he feels TK slowly calm down, he begins to gently rub a hand up and down his back, pressing him closer still as he murmurs quiet reassurance into his neck. Holding him, simply holding him close, because he knows it’s all that TK needs at the moment.
The tight grip on the small of his back slackens over time, TK’s hands only loosely holding on; the sobs calm down to gentle sniffles; and still, he doesn’t let go. He doesn’t even let go when TK takes a deep breath and gently moves, only loosening his hold enough for TK to step away if he wants to.
Apparently, he doesn’t. He only leans back far enough to look at Carlos, eyes red-rimmed and cheeks blotchy and Carlos’ hand is cradling his face before his brain can even catch up with the action.
TK’s reaction is such a beautiful one, Carlos’ heart skips a beat while the butterflies in his stomach begin to soar high. Closing his eyes, TK leans into the touch, sighing as Carlos dries his cheek with his thumb. He’s practically nuzzling into the palm of his hand and Carlos feels a smile tug on his lips as he leans forward to rest his forehead against TK’s, taking another deep breath.
“I’ve found you.” TK’s voice is hoarse and nothing more than a whisper but still enough for Carlos to hear.
“Yeah, you have.”
“I’m so sorry–” TK begins and he can tell he wants to say more.
But Carlos is already shaking his head. “Don’t, please. Not now. Not tonight.” He leans back then, so he can catch TK’s gaze and make sure he understands. “I know there’s a lot we should talk about. But can we please do that tomorrow? We’re both exhausted, let’s not do this tonight.”
“You’re also still on shift,” TK relents, his mood visibly sinking.
“Actually, not anymore,” Carlos tells him and smiles a little bit when TK’s eyes light up instantly. “I was already on overtime when I saw you.”
“Oh, well… in that case.”
There’s this cute little lip-bite again and Carlos has to mentally restrain himself from leaning in and catching that abused lip with his own, soothing it with a gentle kiss. Instead, he focuses back on the man himself and what it is he can’t seem to put into words, hence the lip-biting. “What is it?” he gently prods, using his thumb to pull the lower lip loose. The sight is simply too distracting. “Want me to drive you home?”
His heart sinks when TK slowly shakes his head no, but in the next moment he rests his head back onto Carlos’ shoulder and that just doesn’t feel like something he would do when he’s about to leave him. The words that follow are whispered so lowly, Carlos almost doesn’t catch them. “I really don’t wanna be alone tonight.”
He has to close his eyes, the gravity once again hitting him. His hold on the man in his arms tightens once again, for only a brief moment, before he whispers back to him. “Me neither.”
They don’t have to say anything else because Carlos knows they’re on the same page this time and he drags the man over to his car, TK glued to his side and Carlos wouldn’t want it any other way. He opens the passenger door for him and when TK climbs in, he leans on the door and looks at him. “I just have to get my stuff real quick and yours is also still in there so…”
Unsure of what he wants to say or why he feels insecure again all of a sudden, he doesn’t finish his thought. What should he say? Please don’t leave? Wait here? Don’t run away?
And then TK gives him a soft smile and reaches for his hand to squeeze it lightly. “It’s okay. I’ll wait here. Promise.”
The little flutter of nerves vanishes instantly as he returns that smile and squeezes TK’s hand right back. Guess TK wasn’t the only one afraid of being alone again. They really had a lot to talk about in the near future.
For now, Carlos hastens back inside and makes quick work at the table, cleaning it up so the next officer can use it. He puts TK’s file in the appropriate tray and clocks out before making a beeline for the locker room. Not bothering with getting changed, he just grabs his things and he’s out of the precinct again within minutes.
And TK is still waiting in his car.
Stopping in his tracks, Carlos takes a deep breath and lets the moment sink in for a few heartbeats, just for himself. He thinks back to the second he noticed TK’s lip had patched itself up, the second the realization hit. Hardly able to look away, he wanted to tell TK right away… but then he had opened up to him even more and for a short, selfish moment, Carlos savored those words.
He also wanted him to hear his reply before TK knew they were soulmates – maybe that was stupid because their soulbond didn’t dictate their words or their actions. But somehow, it felt important. He vowed then and there that he would help TK to trust again. To open up his heart again and learn that it could heal and not break again.
He will do everything in his power to help his man heal.
With that silent promise, he finally steps up to his car.
~*~*~*~
The ride back to Carlos’ condo is silent, but it’s comfortable. TK’s still reeling from the revelation and he’s pretty sure Carlos is doing the same. Because this isn’t something to just take in and then move on. This is life-altering. But in a good way.
God, in such a good way.
When they stop at a red light, TK turns to look at the wonderful man next to him – only to already find him gazing back with a relaxed demeanor. Not thinking about it but purely letting his instincts take over for a little while, doing what feels right, he reaches out his hand, thrilled when Carlos takes it without a second thought. He intertwines their fingers, smiling softly as he rests the side of his head against the headrest, eyes still trained on Carlos.
They stay like this for the rest of the way, aside from Carlos’ eyes moving back to the road as the light turns, and TK lets himself bask in the happiness for once, not questioning his luck or Fate’s plan.
Stepping back into the condo he left in a haze two nights ago, TK has to swallow hard but the tight feeling eases as Carlos doesn’t let go of his hand and pulls him right up the steps.
“You can shower first,” he says halfway upstairs. “Bet you still have all the grime from the bar all over you,” he adds with a sassy wink over his shoulder and TK responds with an eye-roll.
But he doesn’t protest when Carlos shows him the bathroom and comes back a moment later with a stack of comfy-looking fresh clothes. Despite how much he enjoys the hot water on his skin and to wash away the day – yes, okay, so maybe there’s still a bit of grime in his hair where he had been pressed to the dirty floor of the bar – he still makes quick work of it. He has this indescribable need to be close to Carlos again and he’s too exhausted to fight against it.
As expected, Carlos’ clothes are slightly too big on him and he loves the feeling. They smell freshly washed and not like him, but that’s okay. The sweatpants are super soft and TK chuckles when he sees the shirt Carlos picked out for him. There’s no way that wasn’t deliberate.
Feeling lighter around his heart already, TK’s practically skipping down the stairs, ready to let Carlos know the shower is all his. But then he catches sight of the man and skids to a halt right next to the staircase, simply taking in the view.
Carlos is still fully dressed in his uniform and yes, maybe TK gets weak in his knees just a little bit.
This is his man.
This is his soulmate.
This wonderful, amazing, loving, caring… and yes, damn you, this sexy man… he’s TK’s other half. TK doesn’t want to be superficial and he’s really not – he knows all that Carlos is and for once, he’s too exhausted and emotionally drained to lie to himself and pretend he hasn’t been falling for the guy from the first moment he asked him to dance… maybe even the first moment they met and these warm brown eyes caught his. He knows he has been falling for the kind soul behind those eyes.
But that doesn’t change the fact that Carlos is also very, very good-looking, so sue him for maybe taking a moment or two to ogle his man as he’s preparing something in the kitchen. What it is, TK can’t see from where he stands.
The moment is over when Carlos looks up. Their gazes meet and TK has to draw a deep breath because…
This is it.
This is really it.
He can’t believe he ever doubted it, ever let his insecurities talk him out of giving his all to this man, ever thought someone else was his soulmate. Because this right here, this is how being in love should really feel. How looking into your soulmate’s eyes should really feel.
He can see it now, he feels it now.
The charged moment is broken when Carlos’ eyes flick a little lower for a second and a grin spreads over his lips, wide and shameless and TK knows he was right. The old police academy shirt with Carlos’ name stitched on it was so not a random choice.
Not even fighting his own little grin, he saunters over, ignoring nervousness at the familiarity of the scene as best as he can. But he’s certainly relieved when Carlos breaks the silence first. “I just heated up some lasagna, in case you’re hungry. Just come back upstairs when you’re done and we can go to sleep. I’ll shower real quick and then–”
“Hey,” TK softly interrupts when it becomes painfully clear that he’s not the only one affected by this déjà-vu. He reaches for Carlos’ wrist, letting his thumb brush over his pulse point, soothing him. When Carlos looks at him, he gives him a reassuring smile. “Thank you.”
Thank you for doing this.
Thank you for being patient with me.
Thank you for making me dinner again even though I walked out on the last.
Thank you for giving, not just me but us a second chance.
Thank you for… everything.
He hopes he’s able to convey all of these because he doesn’t know how to put them into actual words without choking up. When the tightness around Carlos’ eyes disappears and a tiny smile settles on his lips, TK is sure he understands all of it.
Still not questioning his instincts and doing what feels right, he leans in and presses a lingering kiss to the corner of Carlos’ lips, right on that little smile. It’s not quite a real kiss but also not quite innocent. It’s something in between – a promise, most likely.
And by the looks of it, Carlos once again understands, his smile growing as he’s holding his gaze. With a quick nod, he steps past him and moves up the stairs.
Once TK’s alone again and with no distraction – like inspecting his body in the shower and getting the visual confirmation once again that yep, all healed up – he has to force himself to not let his thoughts wander. Carlos is right, they’ll have time for all of this eventually. But today, they’re too drained to tackle any of it. Especially emotionally. And really… all he wants right now is to curl up in Carlos’ arms and sleep for at least a day.
He quickly finishes off the lasagna – and by God, it’s delicious! And definitely homemade. Fuck, that man can cook! – and puts the plate and fork into the dishwasher. Remembering his deal with his dad, he grabs the plastic bag that is resting on the kitchen counter and gets his phone out. It only has ten percent battery left but that’s enough to shoot off a quick text, telling his dad that he’s fine and not to worry and that he’ll spend the night with a friend.
A friend.
TK chuckles to himself, feeling the heat creep up his face.
He knows Carlos will give him all the time in the world and TK should probably take some of it. He knows what he wants but he also knows that he needs to get his own shit together before he starts something new. Not just for Carlos – but for himself as well. Knowing that Carlos will be here to help him along the way though… It makes his heart skip a beat each time he lets himself think about it. And maybe his plan to take it slow is doomed before it can even begin.
Tonight though…
Tonight he won’t worry about it.
When he hears the bathroom door open, he leaves his phone on the counter and makes his way back upstairs. One of the doors is open, a glimpse of Carlos on display as he pulls a shirt over his head. He catches TK staring again and grins, but doesn’t comment on it. He simply gets into bed and when he pulls back the blanket in a clear invitation, TK doesn’t have to be asked twice.
Strong arms wind around him the moment he gets under the blankets and he lets out a happy sigh as he nuzzles into Carlos’ chest, slotting their legs together while Carlos pulls him even closer. “I have to warn you though,” he mumbles as he sneaks his arm around Carlos’ waist, digging into the soft material of his shirt. “I turn into a koala bear at night.”
Carlos’ deep chuckle rumbles in his chest and TK can’t get enough of this feeling. A kiss is pressed against the crown of his head and he hums at this sweet gesture. “That’s good,” Carlos whispers right back, “I love koala bears.”
Sighing again, content as hell, TK finally lets the exhaustion pull him under, not worrying about anything anymore. Because Carlos is here and he’s holding him and he’s comforting him and he’s not letting go.
He finally found his soulmate, and neither of them are letting go.
His soulmate is holding onto him.