Chapter Text
Eri, once again, is buried under a pile of cats at the cat cafe. Toshinori knows that the sight of that will never not be adorable. He’d be hard-pressed to find someone who wouldn’t find that adorable with her wide eyes and giggling smile. But now that Izuku is right there beside her, buried in just as many cats, freshly nineteen on this Sunday, Toshinori thinks he’s taken the new title for “cutest kid buried under cats.”
He knows he’s biased. He knows Izuku wouldn’t win that title if it were put up to a vote as he approaches adulthood, especially not against Eri. But whenever Toshinori looks at Izuku’s beaming face, he sees the timid, quirkless fourteen-year-old he met nearly five years ago. He sees the pictures of Izuku from when he was three in an All Might onesie. He sees Izuku’s crying eyes searching for Toshinori in the crowd at his first UA Sports Festival. He sees every version of his boy at his sweetest and softest, and he believes in his heart of hearts that no one on this Earth, even if he manages to live to see Izuku at fifty years old, will ever be as precious to him as Izuku Midoriya.
I need you to know I love you.
Izuku glances over at Toshinori with his wide eyes and bright smile and Toshinori feels the same message returned through their bond. It’s one he sends frequently, often unintentionally, just because he always, always wants Izuku to feel loved.
Besides, there’s nothing wrong with giving his son a little extra love on his birthday.
“Looks like your friend’s back,” Shouta grumbles from beside him. Toshinori follows the man’s line of sight to see the black cat from the other day sitting in front of him, staring up at his bangs once again. He hesitates this time before leaning down to pet the cat, having learned his lesson. Today, he tucks his bangs behind his ears first, then crouches down so his hair won’t fall in his face. Then, he reaches his hand slowly forward for the cat’s head.
The cat accepts the head scratches. It looks wholly unimpressed with Toshinori’s petting technique, but it remains there all the same. Toshinori can’t help but chuckle.
“I guess we’ve found another way this one is like you, Shouta. It looks unhappy, but it’s secretly a softie.” Toshinori glances up at his friend, whose face is buried in his capture weapon. Anyone who knows the underground hero well enough knows that’s his way of hiding his expression. Toshinori imagines he’s smiling, too. Unfortunately, it’s also just distracting enough for Toshinori to let his guard down, which the cat uses as a perfect opportunity to pounce. Toshinori feels a paw bat against his temple, freeing his bang from behind his ear. The cat plays with it liberally as Toshinori once again attempts to free himself. As he does so, he hears not one but two giggles from across the room.
“You’re right, Eri, this is way more fun to see in person,” Izuku says, moving his cats to stand up. Toshinori feels his boy’s hand come to his bang, freeing him from the clutches of the cat as he sits down cross-legged beside them. Toshinori watches as Izuku blinks at the black cat and it blinks back at him. Then, it steps right up into Izuku’s lap and proceeds to stretch its paws and dig its nails into Izuku’s legs softly, preparing itself to fall asleep. Once it’s done with its kneading, it spins around once, then twice in Izuku’s lap, and curls up with its eyes closed.
Eri comes to sit beside Izuku and starts to pet the black creature, too. To Toshinori’s surprise, the cat doesn’t protest at all when Eri starts rubbing its back. In fact, it begins to purr.
“One more way the cat is like me,” Shouta smirks. “It prefers the kids to you, Toshinori.” Toshinori lets out a huff as he watches Izuku.
“I don’t know,” Izuku says. “It seems like the cat thinks Dad’s good for playing and I’m good for naps.” Izuku looks up at Toshinori with a sheepish smile. “I wouldn’t want you to feel like you had to constantly watch out for your bangs, though.”
Toshinori knows what his boy is asking. He lets himself slide down onto the ground to sit next to Izuku with a bit of a grunt as he does so. His bones aren’t what they used to be, but he’s making do. He glances down at the cat in Izuku’s lap and reaches out once more to pet it. The cat opens its eyes slightly, peering at Toshinori, then closes them again, accepting the touch for the time being.
“Maybe we just need to get the right toys,” Toshinori says. “A yellow ribbon wand, perhaps.” Izuku smiles wide, and Toshinori knows he will gladly put up with whatever antics this cat has in store for him if it means his boy will smile like that. The man leans his head against his son’s, who returns the contact, and they stare at the cat for a few moments.
“Got any name ideas?” Izuku asks, rubbing his fingers through the cat’s fur.
“Eraserhead feels a little too on the nose,” Toshinori teases. He hears Shouta scoff at that.
“Well, Mr. Aizawa, I know you haven’t always loved the name Eraserhead. What would you name yourself if you got another chance?” Izuku asks.
“I’m not giving my name to your cat.”
“That’s fair, I guess.” Izuku scrunches his face and looks back at the cat. “What do you think, Dad? Any other ideas?”
Toshinori stares at the creature that has grown perfectly content in Izuku’s lap. He can’t help but smile a little, reminded of someone else who liked to mess with his bangs, someone else who would have loved to sit with Izuku.
"Why are they always in your face, Toshinori? No one can see your reassuring smile like that!”
“You know,” Toshinori whispers to Izuku, “Nana used to bat at my bangs, too, to get them out of my face.” They look at each other with knowing smiles.
“Nana it is, then.”
So, less than an hour later, Toshinori and Izuku re-enter their apartment, this time with their new friend (her full name now being Nana Purrzawa, at Izuku’s cheeky insistence) in tow. Izuku sets down the carrier in the living room on his side of the apartment, and the two get to work putting out all of Nana’s things. A food and water bowl goes in the kitchen, a litter box in a covered corner of the bathroom, a box of toys out in the living room, and a cat bed in Izuku’s room. Once they’re all done, Izuku lets Nana out by the litter box, and the two of them watch as she begins to sniff her way through Izuku’s half of the apartment.
“Thanks, Dad,” Izuku says quietly, watching as Nana takes a nibble out of her food bowl. Toshinori places a hand to Izuku’s head and glances down at him, full of affection.
“Happy birthday, my boy.”
Once Nana starts poking at the toys, the two sit down next to her in the living room and begin pulling some out, just passing the time before they go to Inko’s house for Izuku’s birthday dinner. Izuku waves a wand in front of her with a yellow ribbon, which she bats at readily, not showing any interest at the moment in Toshinori’s bangs.
“Seems I had the right idea there,” Toshinori says while still protectively tucking his bangs behind his ears. “Hopefully it’ll keep her interest.” Izuku chuckles.
“Here, you try it,” he says, handing the wand over to Toshinori. “Let’s see if she still likes it while you’re the one doing it. Besides, I want to get some pictures for Mom.”
Toshinori obliges as Izuku pulls out his phone. He waves the wand in front of Nana a few times, who still seems content with it. Then, to test the theory, Toshinori hesitantly pulls his bangs back out in front of his face while continuing to wave the wand. He lets out a sigh when she still seems readily distracted for the time being as Izuku scoots over to Toshinori to show him the pictures.
“I hope Mom likes Nana,” Izuku says, looking back up to the cat who seems to have tired herself out for the time being. “And that Mr. Yasuda does, too.”
“I hope he likes us ,” Toshinori counters, thinking back to their first meeting the other day.
“Poor guy,” Izuku mumbles. “I’ve seen a lot of people shocked to meet you, and my own reaction wasn’t exactly pretty, but the guy looked pretty spooked. I almost wondered if he should be checked in himself.” Toshinori chuckles, bringing a hand to Izuku’s hair.
“I was sure he was going to be a fainter. Certainly wouldn’t be the first, and to find out that your girlfriend’s son and his father are famous pro heroes must have thrown him for a loop.” They both chuckle to themselves as they stare at the cat for another moment.
“Speaking of fainting…” Izuku says. He hadn’t brought it up the other day, but Toshinori knew it was only a matter of time.
“Izuku, we don’t need to talk about this on your birthday.”
“I want to talk about it,” he says. Toshinori sighs.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. I really just lost track of time.”
“You know you need to drink water more frequently than others, though.”
“Yeah, and you need to not worry about your old man so much.”
“You’re not old, Dad.”
Toshinori turns his head to press a kiss to Izuku’s hair at the familiar refrain, letting his face remain buried in his boy’s curls. He lets out a heavy sigh.
I need you to not worry about me, Toshinori thinks, not for the first time. I need you to be happy.
Izuku answers without looking back.
“Dad, I promise I’m happy, and I’m happy worrying about you. I like caring about you, Dad.” Toshinori doesn’t say anything, so Izuku continues. “I know you think I’m just worrying and you think you’re some burden to me, but you’re not, and you never will be. I love you, Dad, and I’m always going to take care of you just like you take care of me because I want to.”
It takes Toshinori a moment to croak out his thought, choked up with emotion. “If you spend all your time worrying about me, though, what will you have left when I’m gone?”
Toshinori has asked this question before. Izuku normally counters it quickly, pointing out that he has his mom and Aizawa and Eri, along with his group of friends that he’ll surely be close to forever. And he’s quick to point out that his work keeps him pretty occupied most of the time anyway.
He doesn’t say any of that today, though.
“What will you have if I go first?” Izuku whispers.
So much for waiting until after his birthday, Toshinori thinks, but he’s not upset about it. If it’s on Izuku’s mind this much, it’s probably better that they get the conversation out of the way.
“Son, I’ll never lie to you, but I’m not sure you want to hear the answer to that.”
“I thought we moved past you keeping things from me after Nighteye’s vision.” Toshinori sighs, knowing Izuku is right.
“Izuku… If you go first, I honestly don’t know how long I’d survive that.” Izuku’s breath hitches, but he still doesn’t turn. He takes the wand and waves it half-heartedly in front of Nana instead. “I’d try to, of course,” Toshinori continues. “We didn’t fight fate for nothing, but… I’m already living on borrowed time, my boy, time that you gave me the conviction to go find. I promise I wouldn’t do anything to… try to follow you if you went first, but I honestly can’t see a way where I wouldn’t be far behind.”
They’re both quiet for a moment. They listen to the whir of the air conditioning as it kicks on in the apartment. It’s not enough to drown out their quiet breaths. Perhaps they’re subconsciously making them louder, just to make sure the other can hear their signs of life. But they’re not really listening. They’re doing that thing again that they sometimes do with their bond, where they think the exact same thing, even if it’s not for exactly the same reason.
I need you to live.
Eventually, Toshinori cuts through the not-quite silence.
“Izuku, you have your whole life ahead of you. You have your career and your friends and whatever else you want, it’s all still out there. That’ll be true when I’m gone, and I’m so excited for what’s out there for you. But for me, what I have left is watching you live your dreams, watching your hard work come to life. If you were gone, everything I would find after would be a mere shadow of that and nothing more.
“So I’m not saying that I would let myself waste away, I’m telling you the facts as I see them. I do not have the constitution I’d need to live life past a broken heart. And I hate that, because I want to be able to say that I’d live on just as I want you to live on after me, but that’s not the order of things. Fathers go first and sons live their lives. So if that order is disrupted, I believe it would right itself quickly enough. I’m at peace with that, and I want you to know I’m at peace with that. I don’t expect you to understand, but I do want you to know that.”
Izuku puts the wand on the ground and brings his arms around Toshinori, who readily returns the embrace. He presses his head into Toshinori’s shoulder as he stares off into the distance at nothing in particular.
“I think I understand,” he finally whispers. “But why do you think you were still alive in the dream, then?”
“Maybe my subconscious was trying to figure out if I could survive that,” Toshinori says. “That’s what it felt like to me.”
“And you couldn’t.” Izuku phrases it as a statement, not a question.
“But I’ll still try,” Toshinori promises. “If, God forbid that happens, I promise you I’ll try, my boy.”
Benjiro is a simple man of simple tastes, and his small cup of vanilla ice cream reinforces that identity. Some people believe vanilla is intended to be dressed up, covered in all kinds of outlandish toppings. Benjiro, however, feels that simplicity is beautiful, and vanilla is nothing if not simple. He eats his serving slowly with his tiny spoon as he watches Inko and Izuku chatter a few steps ahead.
All Might walks beside him, albeit more than an arm span away. The four of them had been walking in a line on the boardwalk when Inko and Izuku subconsciously sped up in their chatter, leaving Benjiro and All Might behind. He knows that the pro hero stays behind on purpose. With legs that long, he would have no problem keeping up with the much shorter mother and son. He lags behind in an unnoticeable, practiced way, though, clearly used to accompanying those who are shorter than him (which must be everybody , Benjiro thinks).
He hasn’t said more than two sentences to the Symbol of Peace all evening. At first, it was out of his own embarrassment, using his first sentence before dinner to apologize for his behavior upon meeting them. It was readily dismissed as unnecessary. Then, Inko had warned him that her son would ramble all throughout dinner, so Benjiro’s quiet morphed from discomfort to deference. Izuku went on and on about the cat All Might had gotten them for his birthday, showing them pictures of it playing with All Might’s bangs. So, it had been easy enough to follow Inko and All Might’s suit and simply listen.
Benjiro also took the opportunity at dinner to sneak a few glances at All Might per Inko’s suggestion. “Watch the way he looks at Izuku,” she had whispered to him with a small smile. “It’s the sweetest thing.”
Benjiro, once again, had falsely assumed that Inko must be exaggerating in some way, that All Might’s expression would certainly be sweet, but mostly from a mother’s perspective. His soulmate, Benjiro has discovered, though, does not exaggerate. She knows exactly how others will perceive people and situations, and this was no exception.
All Might, at nearly every opportunity available to him, stares at Izuku as if he made the world. The Symbol of Peace, a man that Benjiro respected greatly but would never have called soft or sweet, watches Izuku as if he were the perfect person and no one else could compare.
(Benjiro often feels as if he looks at Inko that way, but someone would have to tell him if he’s right. He certainly feels that way about her, at least.)
The second sentence Benjiro said to All Might was to offer to pay for the group’s ice cream when they went out after dinner. All Might, to his surprise, let him after only one round of protests. Izuku hadn’t seemed to notice, but Benjiro did note Inko’s beautiful blush. It made him optimistic that he and All Might, or rather Toshinori, would eventually get along just fine.
Now, as they walk alongside each other, their soulmates out of earshot, Benjiro decides to test this theory.
“I couldn’t help but notice you chose a sorbet rather than an ice cream,” Benjiro starts cautiously. He’s unpracticed in small talk generally speaking, but he doesn’t know why it would need to be any different with All Might. The taller man, for his part, seems unfazed with the topic of conversation.
“In my heyday, I might have had a pile of ice cream twice as high as Izuku’s, but without a stomach, sorbet is easier to digest.”
Benjiro curses at himself slightly, realizing he knew that. Inko had mentioned that Toshinori had several medical problems, including a missing stomach. She had never specified why, though, and of course he never asked. The answer would be intensely personal for anyone.
“Well, sorbet can be equally refreshing under the right circumstances,” Benjiro tries, uncertain of how to proceed. Fortunately or unfortunately, All Might immediately takes a direct approach after that.
“I don’t mind, you know.”
“I’m sorry?”
“If you have questions, I don’t mind if you ask them. Izuku’s not used to it yet, but I understand that talking to someone with celebrity status is pretty unique. I don’t promise to answer every question, but you’re welcome to ask.”
Benjiro considers this. It’s a pretty kind offer. After all, even on their short walk along the boardwalk he can’t help but notice the man has gotten several stares and whispers. Benjiro’s head snaps at every one of them, but the other three he walks with seem comfortable ignoring them.
“I’m… actually not well-versed in heroics,” Benjiro admits, finishing off the last bite of his ice cream. “I’m afraid I wouldn’t know what to ask.”
“Well, if you think of any, the offer stands. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other, and I’d hate for you to feel uncomfortable.”
With a frown, Benjiro looks down at his empty cup, then tosses it in a trash can in passing. He places his hands in his pockets and looks back up at Inko. He can’t help but smile at how happy she looks with Izuku, taking a taste of his ice cream at the boy’s prompting. All Might turns his head, too, and notices the same thing.
“Actually, I do have a question,” Benjiro says, feeling emboldened by Inko’s beautiful green hair whipping in the wind. All Might nods while looking at the sorbet he’s finishing up. “Have you seen Inko’s photo album?”
All Might holds his spoon in his mouth for a moment, pausing at the question. Benjiro doesn’t quite turn to look at the man, choosing to continue walking and watching Inko instead.
“Her photo album?”
“She has an album full of photos of her and Izuku and you over the years. Have you seen it?”
All Might turns to his side, tossing his empty cup in a different trash can, then places one of his own hands in his pockets. “I think she showed me once a while ago, I’m not sure. She admittedly comes over to our place more often than we go to hers these days.”
“So you never noticed that she took her pictures down?”
All Might turns to Benjiro, his gaze piercing, and frowns. It’s a little unnerving, if Benjiro is honest, but this is important. He won’t back down. “What do you mean, Mr. Yasuda?”
“She used to have all kinds of photos of her and your son throughout the apartment, but she took them down a while ago and put them in a photo album instead. That’s why I didn’t know who either of you were. I never saw a picture of either of you until Friday evening.”
All Might’s brow furrows as he glances ahead to examine Inko and Izuku once more.
His expression is thoughtful, calculating, putting the truth Benjiro is placing before him together.
“Now that you mention it, I had noticed at one point that there had been a picture of Izuku in an All Might onesie that had been moved from the hallway. I can’t say I thought to ask, to be honest.”
“She moved them for you two, to help maintain your private lives.”
All Might stops walking at that, staring at Benjiro. Benjiro does his best to stay standing tall, refusing to shrink under this thunderous man. He glances ahead to Inko and Izuku once more, who continue walking, not noticing All Might’s pause.
“The reporter two years back,” the retired hero says in understanding.
“I think she’d like to put them back up,” Benjiro says, “and maybe add some new ones, too.” All Might nods at this, still staring ahead.
“We don’t make her life easy, I’m aware,” he mutters with an expression that Benjiro would later recognize as regret. “I’m sorry for any stress that may add for you, too.”
“I’m sure there’s only so much in your control,” Benjiro says in genuine understanding, “but I ask because I want you to know that my top priority is and always will be to Inko. I like the two of you just fine, but I will not pretend to take enough interest in heroes and celebrities to be too intimidated by your status going forward to set either of you straight if you intrude on her peace.”
Benjiro surprises himself with his little speech. He never talks to anyone this much, and to make such a declaration to All Might, of all people, would have been unthinkable a week ago. But after his conversation with Inko the other day, he knows, without a shadow of a doubt, what his purpose is in life now.
To be her hero. To be her protector. And if he has to stand up to the Symbol of Peace to do it, so be it.
All Might, for his part, simply gives a small smirk, then continues walking. Benjiro follows suit. “Honestly, Mr. Yasuda, I’m relieved to hear you say that.”
“You… are?”
“As much as I love and care for Inko, seeing as she did put in most of the work raising my favorite person and all, I am also aware that she exists on a different wavelength from me and Izuku. I’ve tried as much as I can to be mindful of it, but clearly Izuku and I both have overlooked some things.” All Might turns to him with a larger, more genuine smile this time. “I’m looking forward to your scolding. Inko deserves someone watching out for her.”
“She does,” Benjiro readily agrees.
“And also,” All Might adds with a bit of a chuckle, “Izuku’s enough of a fanboy as it is. I was a bit concerned that Inko had found another.”
“I assure you, with all due respect, that I am the furthest thing from a fanboy.” All Might laughs easily.
“Well, Mr. Yasuda, ironically for you, it’ll be a lot easier to get some pictures with All Might when you’re decidedly not a fan then.” Before Benjiro can ask what he means by that, he realizes that they have now caught up to Inko and Izuku, who stopped to let the two men catch up.
“And what are you two chatting about?” Inko says with a bit of teasing, accepting a kiss on the cheek from Benjiro. Benjiro can’t help but appreciate Izuku’s bright eyes and wide smile at the gesture. Before he can answer Inko’s question, All Might chimes in.
“Mr. Yasuda here gave me a good idea for a new tradition. A family photo for each celebration?” he asks, placing a hand to Izuku’s curls. The boy looks up at him, taking a final bite of his ice cream, then steps away to toss the large cup.
“Sure, sounds good! We can use my—” Izuku’s cut off by a blur of motion. Benjiro panics for a moment when Izuku has suddenly disappeared from his sight, but neither of his parents look that disturbed.
“Happy birthday, Midoriya!” the assailant cries holding Izuku, who’s now several meters away. A taller boy around Izuku’s age with smart glasses and blue hair, Benjiro can’t help but notice the young man has strange calves.
“Put me down, Iida! Geez, you scared me half to death!”
“Yeah, like you couldn’t have dodged me if you wanted.” The boy, apparently named Iida, puts him down anyway, and the two turn back on the boardwalk to see several other kids approaching around the same age. Benjiro thinks he might recognize the one with the scar and two-toned hair, but he would need some help placing him.
“Izuku’s friends from school,” Inko whispers. “Do you recognize any of them?”
“Maybe the one with the white and red hair? I’m not sure.” Benjiro can’t help but notice when All Might’s eyes widen.
“You… really don’t recognize them?”
“Should I?”
All Might blinks once or twice more, then lets out a loud laugh. “You’re full of surprises, Mr. Yasuda. I’m looking forward to spending more time with you.”
After Izuku’s friends catch up to him, offering him hugs and birthday wishes, he runs back over to his parents.
“We’re going to head out for a bit, but let’s take that picture first!” He hands his phone to one of his friends, a girl with bright eyes and bangs that hang longer than the rest of her hair. Benjiro watches as Izuku huddles close to his parents for a photo. Before the girl can snap it, All Might turns to him.
“Mr. Yasuda, join us, won’t you?” His eyes widen a bit, glancing at Inko and Izuku for permission, who both nod readily. So, he accepts the invitation, sliding in next to Inko as the young woman takes the picture.
“It looks great!” she says, handing the phone back to Izuku.
“Thanks, Uraraka! Mom, Dad, I’m texting it to you right now.” He does, and they take a moment to look at it themselves.
“Well done, young Uraraka, thank you very much. You kids have fun now, and be safe!” All Might gives Izuku’s hair one more ruffle, and the kid looks back at his dad with such love in his eyes, Benjiro almost feels like he’s intruding on a private moment. It passes quickly, though, and he turns his attention to Inko and her phone as the kids walk away.
“I think I’ll be heading home myself,” All Might announces with a wave. “You two enjoy the rest of your evening together. Oh! And don’t forget to print and frame that picture. It would look lovely in the living room.”
Inko’s eyes grow wide at All Might’s suggestion, staring at the man, while All Might just offers a slight nod to Benjiro, which he returns. He didn't know what to expect today, what All Might and Deku would be like in their private lives as Toshinori and Izuku, but he’s glad to find that they seem to care deeply for Inko in their own way. It’s a relief, if he’s being honest. He can almost begin to imagine himself sliding into their little family. But only if that’s what Inko wants.
He turns to her now, his lovely soulmate, and offers her an arm.
“Come, my dear,” he says to her softly. “I know a much quieter place than this.”
And he leads her away from the spotlight, toward the simple life she’s wanted for so long.
Toshinori, in his previous life as All Might, had not been much of a reader. There wasn’t really time with how much of himself he put into hero work. Besides, he had always been a believer of making dreams a reality, not simply living them in his head.
Now, he’s had a change of heart. In his weakened state, he appreciates the respite of a good piece of fiction. For a while, even if it’s just in his mind, he can be unstoppable again, he can live out dreams and become something far greater than himself, something that doesn’t even exist in the real world.
Sometimes he feels a little guilty about it, if he’s being honest. He thinks of all the people out there who never have or never will have the ability to live out their dreams fully for whatever reason. While he never purposefully placed that kind of judgement onto others, he can’t deny that by placing it on himself, an unintended bias carried forward.
It was Izuku’s idea for him to try out reading again. Toshinori needed a better distraction for when his boy was out late on patrols than the doom and gloom of the news. So, Izuku handed him a book one night before heading out.
“I read this a lot before I met you,” he had said, not filling in the rest. Before I had a quirk. Before I had friends. Before when I was lonely. Before you gave me my life. “I thought you might like it.”
So of course Toshinori read it. And to his pleasant surprise, he loved it, so he asked Izuku for more. After going through ten of Izuku’s childhood favorites, they were both pleased to find that not only did Toshinori have a good distraction from his anxieties, they had something else to bond over, something else to share.
They never tire of finding things to bond over.
Toshinori is reading another recommendation from Izuku while he’s out. He knows his boy is okay. He’s out with his friends on his birthday. Their bond is quiet on both ends. He’s fine. So that’s not what keeps Toshinori awake tonight. Rather, it’s the series of conversations he had over the course of this week. He thinks about Mr. Yasuda and Inko, about Shouta and Eri, but mostly, he thinks about Izuku and that damn nightmare.
He wonders if maybe he is too single-minded when it comes to Izuku. Toshinori has met other soulmate parents besides him and Shouta over the years, and they all assure him that the amount of attachment Izuku and Toshinori feel to each other is normal at any age and is unlikely to change. And yet, part of him wonders if the dream was trying to tell him to find more of a life outside of Izuku, to give his boy space, to prepare for the metaphorical death of Izuku getting older.
He really just wants what’s best for Izuku.
As Toshinori ruminates, his thoughts suddenly scatter when he hears a sound at the door, a sound that’s unfamiliar to him. It almost sounds like...
Scratching.
Placing the book on his nightstand face down, opened to his last page, he slowly walks to the door and opens it a crack. He’s met with a pair of green eyes as he often is, only these are much smaller and lower to the ground. The cat stares at Toshinori and his bangs for a second, then bats a paw through the cracked doorway as if to demand entry.
He’s a bit surprised to see Nana here. They were told that new cats should be contained to one part of the house to get acclimated, but Nana seems to have other plans. So, Toshinori opens the door for her fully. He watches as the cat takes a few sniffs around the room, then readily invites herself into Toshinori’s bed. Toshinori leaves the door cracked open and returns to his spot in bed before the cat can claim it for herself. He props himself up with a few pillows while she examines every inch of the mattress, as if she’s trying to decide which spot is suitable. Eventually, she decides to lay claim to the part of the blanket on Toshinori’s left. He watches with interest as she sniffs his left side a few times, then curls up next to it as if she wants to protect it. Her tiny, warm body, he realizes, feels quite nice against his scar.
Once Nana has settled, Toshinori slowly brings his hand to her back. She lifts her head up with a bit of a chirp at the contact, then comes to rest again after she grows used to Toshinori’s large hand stroking her fur. After a few moments, he feels her purr begin to rumble in his hand. It’s nice. So nice, that he starts to doze off.
He’s not sure if he actually fell asleep, but once he’s aware he’s awake again, still in the dead of night, he feels a shift to his right side. Turning his head, he sees Izuku crawling under the covers beside him, his gaze focused on the cat still under Toshinori’s hand.
“Hey, kiddo.”
“Hi, Dad. I didn’t mean to wake you, sorry.”
“You know I wouldn’t mind if you did.”
“I was looking for Nana.”
“Well, if she gets you to come hang out with me, I might have to hoard her more often.”
Izuku’s curled up into him now, reaching his hand over to pet Nana. She stirs slightly at the new hand, but seems even less bothered when she realizes it’s Izuku.
“Has she messed with your bangs any more?”
“Not yet, surprisingly.”
“If you don’t like her, we can always take her back.”
Toshinori turns to Izuku, who’s still watching Nana. He’s surprised by what he’s feeling through the bond, the thought repeating in Izuku’s mind that contradicts what he just said.
I need you to like her.
Thinking about this for a moment, he sees Izuku’s eyes grow more somber and thoughtful, almost melancholy.
“Izuku,” he whispers, bringing his free hand to the back of his son’s head to pet him. “Is this about the nightmare?” Izuku’s quiet for a moment, then lets out a heavy sigh.
“Maybe she can give you meaning, too. Maybe she can help you be okay if I’m not around.”
Toshinori feels the things he wants to say bubble up in his throat, how he doesn’t want Izuku to live life with that kind of worry, how he wants Nana to be a present and a joy for him, not a symbol of fear and suffering. But he doesn’t for the time being. He simply revels in the comfort of his son, how warm he feels and the familiarity of his hair against Toshinori’s cheek, his free hand clasping Toshinori’s shirt and his soft breaths that mirror his gentle heartbeat. He lets himself feel complete with the other half of himself right here and hopes Izuku feels the same.
Soon enough, Nana seems bothered that she’s not getting as much attention anymore, and she makes her way to the top of the bed, choosing now to sit on their heads. She kneads a paw into Toshinori’s nest of hair for a moment, which causes both of them to giggle at her antics. Then, she settles in once more, close enough for her purring to rumble into Toshinori’s mind.
“She’s a joy, and I do like her,” Toshinori says instead, reaching up briefly to give her head a small scratch before bringing his hand to rub Izuku’s back. “But I care more that you like her and that she makes you happy.”
“I’m happy, Dad,” Izuku mumbles. “You always make me happy.” His voice has grown sluggish in the way it does when Izuku’s about to fall asleep. Toshinori pulls him into his chest, and soaks up those words and the feeling Izuku’s sending to him.
I need you to know that I’m happy.
It had taken them a while to learn how to send feelings to each other through their bond. After all, soul bonds are designed for needs, to make sure that the other person is always safe and cared for. Only feelings that needed a solution - hunger, thirst, fatigue - would register at first. Then, they discovered how to send more heartfelt feelings to each other - happiness, love, joy. It came easily when they realized that knowing what the other person felt, knowing they were happy… they did need that.
Toshinori always needs to know that Izuku is happy.
With one more nuzzle and kiss to his son’s curls before settling in to sleep, he lets the beautiful reality of this moment drown out the emptiness of the bad dream. They can plan for the worst all they want, but at the end of the day, all Toshinori can do is hope that the nightmare never comes true and enjoy the fact that, for now, it’s not real. He has his son and their cat and their home and their bond and their love. It’s all much more than he could have ever asked for anyway.