Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

March 14th, 1852

Bethany Greene sat at the table in the hotel room, writing in the journal her Pa had given her that day. He had told her it was to record their family’s trip to Oregon, which was where they were headed. Currently, they were in Independence, Missouri, where they were stocking up on supplies. They headed on the trail tomorrow.

They were heading to Oregon Territory with another family. They met the Grimes family while they were staying at the hotel, and Pa had decided that they should travel together. Mr. Grimes was a U.S. Marshal, and has been appointed by the government to be a lawman in Oregon territory. He was also bringing his wife and two children. Mrs. Grimes was a sweet woman, and Ma got along well with her. Carl was their oldest child, about twelve or so, and almost as tall as Beth was. They also have a daughter, Judith, who was about seven. Beth’s job was to teach them their schooling while they traveled out West.

The Greene family was originally from Chicago, Illinois, where Pa, or Herschel Greene, practiced medicine. Herschel’s childhood was spent in Georgia, and he traveled to Illinois to go to medical school at Rush Medical College. He met Annette, then Sanger, at church while he was working with Dr. Standford. Her father, John Ingalls was not very open to Herschel courting his daughter. This was because John made all his money farming, and felt that his daughter should marry a man who knew a day’s hard work, like her first husband James. Mary Ingalls was more receptive to Herschel, knowing how hard southern boys work, being from South Carolina herself. She also wanted her daughter taken care of, and she felt that a doctor was good prospects, especially for a new widow with a young baby. And so they were married.

Ma’s first child was named Shawn, and he took the Greene name right along with her. He was about three and twenty, and was studying to be a doctor like Pa. Ma was upset that Shawn hadn’t married before he left Illinois, where he could have stayed and study medicine instead of heading out to Oregon. But Pa had felt a calling from God to go out to the territories, where so many people were getting sick and dying. ‘A doctor was what they needed,’ he had said. Shawn still had plans to become a doctor though, first learning from Pa and then traveling back once they were settled on the new homestead.

Ma was also worried about her daughters, fearing there were no good protects for husbands in a country full of miners and fur traders. ‘What life is that for her daughters,’ she had said. In particular, Ma seemed to worry that Maggie would never be wed. Maggie, whose full name was Margaret, was the daughter from Pa’s first wife, Caroline. Maggie had been living with her mother’s grandparents after Pa became a widower, but returned to him after he was remarried. tMa always said that Maggie was a tomboy, and that she got that from her mother. Maggie used to run around on Grandpa Ingalls farm as if she was a boy. She even helped with men's work when there wasn’t enough help on harvest days. She rarely kept her bonnet on, even now, with it was found more often hanging down her back than on her head. Her skin would get awfully brown, especially during the summer when she did this. This just infuriated Ma. ‘Just because you can’t act like a lady, doesn’t mean you can’t look like a lady,’ Ma always said. Personally, Beth thought that Maggie had the right idea, as bonnets were dreadfully uncomfortable and made it harder to see. Although she would never tell Ma this.

Grandpa and Grandma Ingalls had moved out of the house in town, and to the farm at the edge of town when Ma and Pa got married. This left Ma, Pa, and the children in mainly in town. However, even though they grew up in town, Beth, Maggie, and Shawn had spend most weekends with their grandparents, learning how to raise crops and livestock. This made Pa happy, as he’d grown up on the farm, but Ma hadn’t thought they’d ever use those skills. ‘Why learn something you’d never use?’ Ma had said. However, with all the family moving West, these skills would now be needed to survive.

Ma had insistent on other skills, however. Both Maggie and Beth knew how to sew, knit, cook, and take care of children. They had learned briefly with other siblings, but more often than not, with their cousins. Pa and Ma had had two other children, but they didn’t make it past childhood. There was Annie, who had been named after Ma, who passed when she was five. And then there was Hershel Fredrick, who we just called Freddie. He had passed before he was a year old. After that, Ma had had no more children.

Ma had always said that Beth was a gift from God, because Ma and Pa could only have one child in their marriage. ‘And thankfully, an obedient child,’ Ma said. Beth had always done what Ma had wanted of her. Beth even received her teaching certificate at sixteen like Ma had wanted. This certificate would give Beth the opportunity to work, and to not be dependent on a husband to survive, in case all men out West were unsuitable for her Ma. Although no woman worked forever.

“Beth!”

Beth looked up from the page she’d been writing on. It was her Ma calling her from the other room. She didn’t know how long she’d been writing in her new journal, but form the ache in her belly, she knew that it was about supper time. She blew the ink dry and closed the journal, slipping it and the fountain pen into the pocket of her dress. She wasn’t used to having pockets on her dressed, but Ma thought they’d be practical when she made everyone clothing for moving out West.

“Yes Ma?” Beth said, walking through the doorway.

“It’s time for supper. Wash up quickly so we can head downstairs.”

After a quick washing, Beth and Ma headed downstairs to the dining room. Pa, her siblings, and the Grimes were already seated. Pa and Mr. Grimes were talking together, almost assuredly about the upcoming day. Everyone was heading out West, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t any less dangerous.

Ma sat by Mrs. Grimes, and Beth squeezed in between Maggie and Judith. After grace, everyone began to eat, when the door to the dining room opened. A man walked into the room. He must be another guest at the hotel. He was looking around for a free seat. Beth saw her Pa stand and raise a hand to the stranger. There must be no other open seats available. After the stranger walked over to her Pa, the noise of the dining room started up again, and Beth couldn’t hear what they were saying.

Beth continued to eat her supper, but she could tell that her Ma was uncomfortable with the stranger at the table, even with her and her children separated from him. Slowly the dining room began to empty, and the conversation between her Pa, Mr. Grimes, and the stranger became easier to hear. Beth tried not to listen too much, as eavesdropping was a inappropriate, but she really couldn’t help herself.

“You plan to head out to the Territory tomorrow then, Mr. Dixon?” Pa asked.

“Mmm,” Mr. Dixon said, nodding, his eyes on his plate.

“There are so many groups heading out tomorrow, you should find someone to travel with,” Pa said.

“I agree. It’s not safe to travel alone,” Mr. Grimes said.

“It’s too late to find someone know, I suppose,” Mr. Dixon muttered.

“Why don’t you think about joining with us?” Pa asked. “We could use another man. Right Rick?”

“Mmm,” Rick mumbled. “We could. But this isn’t talk for women and children.”

Ma cleared her voice. “Children,” she said. “Let us excuse ourselves.”

“Yes,” Mrs. Grimes said. “Carl, Judy, let’s go back up to the room.”

With that, everyone but the menfolk left the table for the rooms they were staying in. The men talked so long that everyone was in bed before they got back. Pa was careful when coming in, trying to not wake his wife or children. But Beth had been too excited to sleep, so she was pretending when Pa came in.

“Hershel,” came Ma’s voice in the dark. “What did you decide to do?”

“Mr. Dixon is going to come with us on our way West.” Pa said.

“Are you sure it’s safe? To travel with someone that we don’t know.”

“It’s the Christian thing to do, Annette. I’ve also talked with Rick after Mr. Dixon excused himself. Between our families, there are plenty of eyes and good shots to keep us safe. We’ll keep a watch on him. Do not fret yourself.”

---

March 28th, 1852

Two weeks later, the group had found themselves on the trail, adjusting to the new style. Beth had spent the last two days being able to walk alongside the wagon, after spending restless days in the back of the wagon. She had to beg Ma to let her walk alongside the wagon, and it was Maggie who finally convinced Ma to consent. ‘Beth should be able to walk when Judy is occupied or busy,’ Maggie had said. ‘Especially when I help drive the wagon and Shawn gets to ride a horse.’ Ma eventually relented, and both Maggie and Ma now walk when their legs grew too restless or they needed to warm up. The temperature was unbearably cold sometimes. Maggie even walked with her bonnet up, just to keep out the cold. Judy wanted to walk beside Beth too, but her legs were too short to keep up. And, of course, there was always the constant worry of her being pulled under the wagon, and either crushed under the wheels or trampled under hooves.

Maggie spent her days helping Ma drive the oxen. Pa had taught Ma before they had left Illinois, and she taught Maggie. Maggie was much stronger than Ma, and therefore more able to control the oxen. The Greene family have four oxen, and Beth named them Rosie, Daisy, Jake, and Samson. Pa hoped they would be able to use them as plow animals, or trade them for other animals they’d need when they settled. Pa, Shawn, and Carl helped control the horses. Pa had brought three horses with him, and hoped to be able to breed and sell them in the territories. ‘Horses are in great demand,’ Pa said. They were only able to bring three; Nelly, Honey, and Cole. Nelly was the horse that Maggie and Beth learned to ride on, and Honey is a sweet tempered horse that Pa got through trade. Pa used those two to drive the carriage in Chicago. Cole was Pa’s black stallion, and his favorite horse. Pa was only able take the two mares to the Territories because he hadn’t wanted any of them foaling on the way there. Nellie and Honey were the best choices as they were with the family in town, away from Pa’s stallions on the farm.

Because Nelly was so flighty sometimes, Shawn rode her, with Carl riding Honey. Mr. Grimes had a horse too; he called her Flame because of her dark red coat. Mr. Grimes rode her, leaving Mrs. Grimes to drive the horses. This meant that Judy spent much of her time in the wagon with Beth. When Judy was awake, Beth tried to teach her little things, like sewing little dresses for her rag dolls and working her numbers without a slate. She’d also try to teach her to read, but the wagon movements made Beth’s stomach churn. When Judy was resting or otherwise occupied with her works, Beth would mend things for her family, the Grimes family, or even Mr. Dixon. Yesterday, when he was out hunting, he had ripped his coat. Beth had needed to mend it as quickly and deftly as she could. Mr. Dixon spent the time she was mending in shirtsleeves and a woolen vest, with the temperature being low enough to see their breath. When Beth was done mending all the clothing, She spent her time making little things for when she was married. Lace, doilies, and the like.

The seemed to have come up with a kind of pattern. Every other day or so, they would spend a day or two hunting, especially when the game appeared plentiful. They would also rest during bad weather. There was no reason to injure our animals when they had plenty of time to get there before the snow hit. When they hit the Kansas River, the group had to wait four days before they could cross, the waters had been so high. Hopefully the next river they crossed wouldn’t nearly be so high, as it had made Beth very nervous.

When they stopped for the evening, the men would take care of the many animals the group had. Besides the oxen and the horses, they also had other animals for when they made their homestead. Grandma Ingalls had insisted. She had given Pa many animals, and even some bags of the best seed crop the Ingalls farm produced the previous year. The Greene family had two milk cows, Bessie and Patty. Pa was concerned, as he believed they were likely to calf in the fall, but this couldn’t be helped. But this would mean there would be milk throughout the winter for the family to drink. They also had three chickens and a rooster, hopefully leading to many chicks the following summer.

Their last animal had been a bit of a surprise. A dog showed up while they were cooking a meal on the far side of the Kansas River. Ma had said they should make it leave, as she wasn’t overly fond of dogs. But Pa had said to wait. ‘A dog may be useful on the trail,’ Pa had said. Mr. Grimes and Mr. Dixon both seemed to agree. The children were happy, and Beth had to admit that she was happy at the prospect of having another dog. She was sad to leave their old dog, Bounder, on the farm, but it couldn’t be helped. ‘A house dog doesn’t know how to survive on the trail’ Pa had said. Ma had wished they could have brought their cat, Mouser, along. Pa had reassured Ma by saying that they would find a cat when they finally get where they were going.

Besides the Greene animals, the Grimes had two oxen and a cow for milk. Beth didn’t know their names, as she had never gotten a chance to work with them. Mr. Dixon also had a few animals with him. He had a horse and a mule. The mule always seemed to make Beth laugh, with it’s long ears like a rabbit. She don’t know what it’s name was, but she liked to call him Bunny in her head. He was tied behind the Grimes family wagon with their cow.

Pa had begun to trust Mr. Dixon more. Mr. Dixon was knowledgeable about the area, and was a very good hunter. He always seemed to come home with game or a fowl of some kind, usually two or three. It was always nice to have something warm to eat when they had a fire. Pa said that they may not always be able to have a fire, with the prairies not being known for their trees and forests.

When they stopped, everyone had chorses to do. The men were off hunting, working with animals, making fires, or setting the wagons up for night.. Ma and Mrs. Grimes would start cooking while Maggie and Beth would get the water for washing. After supper was cooking, and most of the chores were done, Beth spend the rest of the evening light teaching Judith and Carl with the slate and books the family had. When they’re learning their lessons, and if she had the time, Beth would try to write in her journal.

“Don’t go straining your eyes Beth,” Ma called from beside her father, her sewing laying in her lap.

Beth looked up. It was the last of the free time she’d had tonight. Supper had been eaten, children had been taught, and dishes, faces, and little hands had been washed. The light was just about fading, and, Beth mused, Ma was right. She shouldn’t strain her eyes trying to write.

“How about a little music before bed?” Pa asked, his fiddlebox in his hands. He put it on his lap and gently brought out his fiddle. After tuning, the bow began to fly over the strings, a peppy song springing forth.

I struck the trail in seventy-two
The herd strung out behind me
As I jogged along my mind ran back
To the girl I left behind me
The sweet little girl, the pretty little girl
The girl I left behind me
As I jogged along my mind ran back
To the girl I left behind me

Pa’s voice was deep, and a little scratchy, and to Beth it was the best voice. Her favorite memories growing up where when Pa would sing and play his fiddle. And as Beth looked around the group, she could see everyone relaxing and enjoying themselves. Even Jiggs, what she’d decided to call the stray dog, was relaxed, laying between Carl and Judy.

Pa continued playing, with Mr. Dixon joining in on his harmonica when he knew the song. When Pa would nod at Beth and Maggie, they would join in their voices to Pa’s. It was an incredibly festive evening.

Just at the end, after Pa was finished playing “Pop! Goes the Weasel” for the kids, popping the string on the fiddle to make the Pop, he put the fiddle on his lap and stretched his hands.

“My hands aren’t what they used to be,” Pa chuckled. “Bethy, I know you’ve been practicing the fiddle. Why don’t you play us one last song.”

Startled, Beth took the fiddle from Pa gently, putting her fingers onto the strings. She pulled the bow gingerly over the strings, and then more confidently as the song began.

Oft in the stilly night,
E'er slumber's chain has bound me,
Fond mem'ry brings the light
Of other days around me:

It was a slow, sweet melody, made even sweeter by Beth’s lovely voice. It seemed to cast a spell over all around. For all the joy and energy that Pa had played into their hearts, Beth was weaving something different. It was a feeling of memories and sunshine. It was peace.

When she had finished, Pa smiled at her, his eyes sparkling. “You played that beautifully, Bethy.”

“And now it’s time for bed.” Mrs. Grimes said, standing and brushing off her skirts, and rounding up her children.

Beth went to sleep that night, her heart light. Her dreams were filled with memories of her old home, and hopes of the home to come.

---

April 9th, 1852

Today they were crossing the Big Blue River. On first inspection, it had appeared to be more shallow than the Kansas, so they decided to ford the river instead of waiting for a ferry. As usual, Ma and Maggie were driving the oxen across, leaving Beth and Judith in the back. Judy was scared, her hand was tight around Beth’s. Beth didn’t blame her at all. She was scared herself. It was very bumpy for being a river and the girls were rocked about as the wagon traveled through the water. Suddenly a knot in the canvas came loose, and water could be seen splashing over the box of the wagon. Judith squeaked, and clung tighter to Beth. Untangling herself, Beth told Judith to stay on the mattress while she went to retie the knot, no matter what. It was important to to keep as much water out of their supplies as they could. Just as Beth was leaning over to grab the flapping canvas, the wagon hit a rock and jolted Beth into the river with a splash.

The water was cold as Beth flailed to stay above water. The water quickly soaked her woolen dress and petticoats, making it even harder to catch her breath. Beth could feel herself panicking. She screamed as her head was pulled under the water by her heavy clothes. She’d never learned how to swim, even though they’d lived near the big lake in Illinois. Pa had always considered it very unladylike to swim. It was one of the few instances that Beth remembered Pa saying anything like that.

Beth was fighting to get back to the surface, to get back to air, but she never seemed to get any closer. The water was so cold that her chest felt tight and heavy. Just as Beth felt like her lungs were going to burst, she felt something wrap around her chest and drag her to the surface. Gasping, Beth looked into the face of Mr. Dixon. Apparently, as Beth later found out, he must have seen her fall out of the wagon, and had dove off the bank before anyone had heard her shout.

Beth was so happy to see him, she nearly jumped into his arms trying to get away from the water.

“Don’t struggle,” he’d snapped, as his arm tighten over her chest. Beth tried to calm herself as Mr. Dixon towed her to shallow water. When he could stand, he lifted Beth into his arms and walked out of the water. Beth was grateful because she was sure she wouldn’t have been able to walk or climb out of the water, her body was shivering too much. Mr. Dixon walked up the shore, and gently placed Beth down. Pa came running towards them. He scooped up Beth into his arms, and rushed her to Ma as soon as the wagon had made it to shore. Ma then helped Beth remove all her wet clothing and put her into dry clothes. She was bundled in the big feather bed her parents had, with nearly every blanket they had on her. Judith had spent most of the day snuggled with her, like a kitten, keeping her warm. After a while Beth felt good enough to write, and found herself scribbling away in her journal when Pa came to see her.

“How are you doing Bethy?”

Beth looked up to see Pa’s head looking in between the sheets of canvas. She had to go on her elbows, as all the blankets were hard to see around.

“I’m doing fine Pa. I’m warm again.” Beth said, smiling.

“That’s good.” Pa said, touching her forehead. “I was going to have your Ma put another blanket on you if you’d not warmed up by now. How do your legs feel?”

“They feel like they’re being pricked by pins and needles.”

“Well, you may have to stay here a little longer. Just til you’re legs are a little warmer.”

“Oh please Pa!” Beth protested. “Can I please leave the wagon? I’d like to thank Mr. Dixon for bringing me out of the river.”

Pa smiled, and gave me a kiss on my forehead, his whiskers tickling. “You are a good girl, Beth. If you make sure you dress warmly, and don’t overdo yourself, you can come out.”

“Oh, I promise Pa!” Beth said, sitting up in the bed. “I’ll be careful.”

Pa laughed at her eagerness to get out of the little bed. “I’ll get Maggie to help you.”

After Maggie helped Beth put on her corset, she helped Beth balance as she pulled on her petticoats and stockings. After Beth was in her undergarments, Maggie buttoned her up in her dry wool dress. Beth was just about to step out of the wagon, when Maggie put a shawl around her shoulders.

“Ma will be worried enough as it is. Best remember your shawl now.”

With a smile, Beth stepped out into the fading light of the day. Most of the chores were already done. Pa was sitting around the fire with the other men, and Ma was chatting with Mrs. Grimes as she cooked supper. Beth was happy that the children were studying off of a slate. Maggie must have given them problems to work out.

Beth was standing by the wagon, when Pa noticed her. He gave her a smile and a nod, and Beth walked over to the menfolk. Steeling herself, she waited for an opening in the men’s conversation. Thankfully, her Pa took pity on her and made one.

“Yes Beth?”

“I’d like to thank Mr. Dixon, Pa,” Beth said, her eyes meeting Pa’s, like he taught her.

She saw Pa nod his head, his pipe going back into his mouth, a smile on his lips. Beth turned herself towards, her eyes meeting Mr. Dixons. “Thank you Mr. Dixon, for bringing me out of the river. I would have drown if you hadn’t.”

Mr. Dixon looked at Beth for a second and murmured something like “You’re welcome”. She looked at Pa for a brief second, say him smile and nod again. She’d done well, and now she was dismissed.

Just as she was leaving, she heard him ask Mr. Dixon something, but was surprised. He called him by his first name, which was apparently Daryl.

Beth knew her Pa, and if he was using his first name, she knew he had nothing but trust for the man. And Beth didn’t blame him. He had saved her life.

---

April 30th, 1852

Weeks after the river crossing, Beth found herself sitting in the grass writing in her journal. It felt good to feel the sun, after being cooped in the wagon following her accident. Pa had said she’d be fine, but Ma had been afraid that she’d catch grippe, or some other ailment. Today was a rest day however, and Pa had convinced Ma to let Beth out in the air, where the sunshine would do her good.

While she was cooped up, however, Beth learned from Ma that Mrs Grimes was expecting another child. Although Ma had been happy for Mrs. Grimes, giving her whatever advice she could, she felt apprehensive. ‘The trail is no place for childbirth, but you can’t fight God,’ Ma had said, as she tucked the edges of a blanket around Beth’s lap. ‘God gives you children when he wants.’

But today was a day to be outside. The men were hunting for game, and the women had the luxury of free time, as all the chores had already been completed. Maggie and Judy had decided to head out to the meadows and pick the pretty wild flowers they could see from the trail. Ma had tutted as she watched the two run towards the meadow, Jiggs bounding after them. Ma didn’t approve of Maggie teaching Judith her tomboy ways.

Beth smiled as she looked up, noticing that both Maggie and Judith had their bonnets hanging down their backs. Beth rearranged her bonnet gently, making sure the sun didn’t touch her face. Ma always told her that a woman must stay fair and pale if she’s going to get a husband. ‘No man wants a tanned woman,’ Ma said. But Beth wondered if that would matter out west. Besides, Maggie looked so striking with her tanned skin. It makes her blue eyes seem to spring from her face.

“Beth!”

Judy came running up to her, her little arms going around Beth’s legs, Jiggs at her heels. Beth laughed, her thoughts banished from her mind as as she slipped her journal into the pocket of her apron. It was nice being in the sun, after traveling in so much cold weather.

“Come pick flowers Beth,” Judy said, grabbing her hand. “We’ll bring some back to Ma.”

Beth rose, and was lead over to where Maggie was gathering a skirt full of flowers.

“Want to make crowns Bethy? Like when we were girls?” Maggie asked, flowers woven into her hair.

“I would like a crown,” Judy said, her hand clutching at Beth’s.

And that was how Beth found herself sitting among wildflowers, slipping flowers into Judy’s braids and weaving crowns. Judy even tried to put a crown on the dog, but Jiggs would just shake his head to knock it off. Judy even convinced Beth to take off her bonnet.

“You can’t wear a crown on your bonnet.” Judy said.

So, there Beth sat, her bonnet down her back like her sister, a crown of yellow, pink, and purple flowers on her head. Jiggs had his head on Beth’s lap, enjoying the sun warming them. Maggie had one too, pink like her shining cheeks.

“Beth?” Judy asked, her eyes shining. “Will you tell me a story about fairies?”

“Fairies?” Maggie asked, looking over at Beth surprised.

“She means the book of those tales that Pa got from that French doctor.”

They stayed there, weaving flower crowns and talking of fairy tales until Beth was sure that they were late for dinner. As they hurried back, Ma was already stirring the rabbit stew and Mrs. Grimes was making corn bread.

“You better get those children learning while we have so much light,” Ma said, her eyes taking in her youngest daughters uncovered head.

“Yes Ma,” Beth said. She blushed as she took the crown off of her head. “Come on Judy. Let’s get you your reader.”

---

May 25, 1852

The road had gotten worse after they’d passed Fort Laramie, the group moving half as fast as before. The group might have found it restful if the trail hadn’t been so rough. But at least the weather was pleasant, and there were more landmarks to be seen along the way.

Chimney Rock was one of them. It was a great pillar rising out of a mound of earth. It looked like a lonely chimney, with the rest of the house burned away. Pa had said that it was at least three hundred feet tall, and Beth wondered if there would ever be anything taller than that. They had seen it from almost thirty miles away. When they stopped to rest, Shawn had taken the girls to see the rock up close. It had taken nearly an hour to get there, but it was worth it. Up close, it looked almost like a piece of art. Pa had said that it reminded him of the Washington Monument that they were building in the capital in memory of the first president.

Later, the came upon Independence Rock, which was a large outcropping of granite set next to a stream. It was a lovely, peaceful place. It was like a massive, upturned bowl in the middle of nothing. On this rock, names could be read. Some had been carved into the rock, and some had been written on in a black substance. Mr. Dixon had said that it was written on in a kind of grease, buffalo most likely. Pa found it very amusing and called it “The Great Record of the Desert”.

It was here that Mrs. Grimes complained of having some stomach pains. Instead of coming to view the rock, she had stayed with the wagons. When everyone returned, she said her pains had finished. But Pa had been worried, examining her. He was afraid that she would not be able to carry the baby to term. This had been two weeks ago.

“Beth, can can you get some dishes done? I need to rest for a moment.”

“Of course, Mrs. Grimes,” Beth said, hurrying to her feet. Mrs. Grimes was looking a bit pale. “I’ll go get some water.”

“Rick said there was a stream nearby. Check by those trees down the hill.”

Beth took two buckets and headed over to the trees to gather water. Beth did find the stream, as Mr. Grimes said, but she was distracted before she got there. She spotted Mr. Dixon, standing still, oblivious to the world. Beth stood for a moment watching him. It was then that she spotted an abandoned wagon. Mr. Dixon was staring at it, his face blank and pale.

“Mr. Dixon?” asked Beth. He didn’t move.

“Mr. Dixon?” she asked again, taking a few steps closer.A twig snapped under her feet.

The sound must have altered something in him, because Mr. Dixon turned. But he seemed to be looking right past her, his face palid.

“Are you alright Mr. Dixon?”

Mr. Dixon blinked, and his eyes seemed to focus on him, his face still pale.

“Beth,” he said, his voice sharp. “Go back and tell your Pa that there is an abandoned wagon. We may be able to salvage some pieces.”

Beth started, her fingers tightening around the buckets. Knowing her duty, she quickly grabbed the water Mrs. Grimes asked for, and hurried back to camp. She ended up sloshing half the water out of the buckets and onto her skirts.

They were able to salvage three wagon wheels, the last one was broken. Pa speculated that this was probably the reason why the wagon broke down in the first place. They were also able to remove an axel. Inside the wagon, they found an old hope chest with dresses, linens, and even a bolt of calico fabric. It was a pretty yellow with red and blue flowers on it. Ma felt that it was not a very practical fabric, as the pale yellow would show too much dirt while on the trail. Beth thought that Ma was uncomfortable about taking the clothing, as they most likely belonged to someone who was dead. ‘They were probably buried next to the wagon,’ Pa said. At the very least, Beth thought they could use the fabric of the dresses and bolt for quilts, curtains, and rugs when they get to their new home. They also found some farm tools, and Pa found some lead to melt down to bullets. Pa said a small prayer for the family that was lost here. That an entire family died for a little bit of a windfall.

---
June 17, 1852

Five days ago, Mrs. Grimes started having pains that kept her in bed. The group kept driving, with Shawn in control of Mr. Grimes horse while he drove the oxen. Beth took care of Judy as usual, but Beth made sure she had other things on her mind, keeping Judith’s mind off of her ailing mother. Perhaps this was for both of them, because Beth heard Pa say to Ma that something might be wrong. Later that day Mrs. Grimes began heavily bleeding. Pa said that she was having a miscarriage, and that nature should take it’s course. They stopped for the day.

The next day, she was still bleeding. The group had passed South Pass and South Pass City and Mr. Grimes was adamant about heading towards people. Mr. Dixon said it would take too long to go back, and that they should be able to reach a fort in five days if they headed at breakneck speed. After they stopped for the night, Pa examined Mrs. Grimes in the wagon. He said that there must be a piece of the afterbirth remaining. He said he’d seen something similar in horses he’d helped foal. If he didn’t get it out, she’d wouldn’t make it through the week. With Mr. Grimes agreement, Pa removed the last piece of afterbirth, and the bleeding stopped.

Two days later, Mrs. Grimes started developing the signs of child-bed fever. She could keep no food down, and screamed at the slightest touch on her stomach. Her face and lips became swollen, and her tongue turned black in color. She died later that day. Pa had no idea why she passed.

She was buried the next day, under the open sky, with no maker to be found. Pa and Mr. Dixon dug the grave, but Mr. Grimes was nowhere to be seen. Before they placed Mrs. Grimes in the grave, Mr. Grimes showed up, silent, and stood by his children. Pa gave the sermon. Afterward, Mr. Grimes disappeared again. and Beth kept track of the children as Ma was busy making food for everyone. Maggie helped her. Judy had been crying since the funeral, and Beth had no way of counseling the child. Beth knew that she would be sad if my own mother were to pass on the trail, never to see her again or mourn at her grave. Carl appeared to take after his father more, his face stoic. He sometimes had looks that crossed his face. Blank and unseeing. Looks that were similar to Mr. Dixon’s when Beth found him by the wagon. She wondered if Mr. Dixon had been mourning when he was by the wagon.

“Bethy,” Maggie poked her head around the wagon. “Ma’s got dinner ready.”

Beth looked up from the writing she was doing. She was on the bed that Maggie and her shared, with the children around her. Judith was tucked tight under her arm, and Carl was holding Judith’s hand. They were not making a noise, but their cheeks were wet.

“Come’on Judy, Carl. Let’s get washed up for the meal.” Beth said, taking out her pocket square and wiping Judith’s face. Carl had taken out his own handkerchief.

The children had no energy. Judith dragged her feet while they made their way to the wash basin, and Beth had to help her more than she should have to wash. Beth, taking pity on the girl, picked her up and and balanced her on her hip like an infant. Carl followed behind, as somber as his sister.

Ma made no comment about Beth holding Judith. It was a testament to the loss these children had, for Ma thought seven was far too old to be coddled anymore. Supper was a very somber affair. Everyone ate in silence. Beth tried to get the children to eat, placing the nicest pieces on their plate. Judith ate very little, sneaking most of it to Jiggs, and Carl ate slowly, tasting nothing.

Mr. Grimes was the same as his son. His eyes were on the fire as he put forkful after forkful of the food into his mouth. He barely said anything as Pa placed a tin cup of coffee into his hand.

The children were exhausted. Judith was all but asleep next to Beth, but her grief kept her awake. As Maggie had already taken the dishes away, Beth scooped Judith onto her lap, Judith’s head fitting into her shoulder. Beth started to hum a small tune, her head pressed against the brown curls.

Mr. Grimes stopped eating at that point, and stared at Beth. Beth didn’t seem to notice, as she continued to hold Judith, humming and rocking ever so slightly. Without a word, Mr. Grimes put his plate and cup down, and walked away towards his wagon.

Judith gave a little sniff, and Beth felt moisture through the neckline of her dress. Looking down, there were fresh tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong Judy?” Beth whispered. Judith said nothing as she cuddled closer into Beth’s side.

“Ma used to sing that song,” Carl whispered.

---

July 17, 1852

Mr. Grimes continued to to mourn his wife a month later. He drove and cared for his animals but he didn’t have any ability to care for his children. Maggie and Beth had been taken it upon themselves to care of his children. Carl spent most of his waking hours with Maggie, and he seemed to draw great comfort from her. In the evenings, he slept with Shawn under our wagon, leaving Mr. Grimes alone. Judy had been spending her nights between Maggie and Beth, close between the two. She would wake during the night from her dreams, and needed to be soothed during the night. Everyone had been quieter since the funeral. Even Mr. Dixon was quieter than normal.

Their only consolation was that they’ve been able to make it to pleasant lands.

Beth put down her journal, and looked back to laundry cooling in the wooden basin. She sighed as she pushed the laundry around with her stick, and grabbed a bucket to get more water. They were doing laundry today, especially since there was a large supply of water nearby. Laundry took a lot of water. Thankfully they were doing it together, otherwise it would take a long time. Alone, you woke up when it was dark, and you were lucky if you finished the laundry before it was dark again.

Maggie was scrubbing the clothes that had been soaking overnight. She scrubbed them for about an hour, wring them out, and then Ma would boil them to remove all critters that may be in the clothes. Then Beth would walk up and take them to the spring shore where she’d rinse them in clean, cool water. Then she’d wring them out again and place them on any clean grass and bushes she could find. It wasn’t the hardest part of doing laundry, but when she was trying to keep her eyes on children too.

Carl and Judy were busy wading in the shallows the the springs. It took them some time after Mrs. Grimes passing before they were willing to play again. Now they were searching for pretty rocks at the bottom of the spring. Beth would sometimes hear a splash and then a peal of laughter. Looking up, Beth smiled. Watching the children splash each other and Jiggs, find pretty stones, and trying to catch the little fish. It was the first fun they’d seemed to have in the past month.

Mr. Dixon was also there, looking brighter than before. Along with everything else they’d found in the abandoned wagon, they had found fishing supplies. Standing in shirtsleeves and a hat, Mr. Dixon was busy fishing in the deeper waters. He had done well already, catching enough fish to feed everyone heartily. He was also helping keep an eye on the children. When they would laugh, he would glance at them. It made Beth’s job much easier.

“Stop scaring away the fish,” Mr. Dixon said, as Judy gave another shriek as Jiggs went bounding into the water after a stick. Although it sounds like a chastisement, his voice doesn’t have any hostility.

Eventually, with the help of the children, Mr. Dixon abandoned his fishing and joined them in the spring. He spent the afternoon teaching how to skip rocks, and even a little bit of swimming. This seemed like a practical skill, especially with the incident in the river. How long ago was it?

“You can’t go that deep Judy,” Mr. Dixon said, dunking Judy as she tried to go into deeper water. Beth smiled as Judy splashed through the water, spitting and sputtering. Beth knew that Judy saw this as more of a game, than an actual lesson. All of their clothing was soaked through. Thankfully both Carl and Judy were wearing some threadbare clothing, so nothing is ruined by them playing in the springs.

By the end, with all the laundry rung and dried, Beth sat and enjoyed the children. Ma was ironing the clothing, which left Beth with some free time. The children were getting better at swimming, which may be important in the new territories. But now the lessons had dissolved into splashing, dunking, and laughter. It was a grand site.

“Beth! Supper’s ready!”

Beth stood up to see her sister Maggie standing on the hill near camp, looking down at the spring. Beth raised her hand to her, waving.

“Come’on children!” Beth called. “Supper is ready, and you both need to get out of that wet clothing.”

With that, the children scampered up the hill, laughing and playing. Beth smiled and followed them, Mr. Dixon following behind with the fish.

---

August 14th, 1852

Yesterday they buried Ma. She’d been sick for a few days beforehand. She’d gotten sick shortly after a rest, and had to stay in the wagon while Maggie drove. Pa was very worried about Ma, so much so that he left Shawn to drive the last of the horses with Carl. Each of them now have a second horse to watch after. With Pa in the back of the wagon, Beth had to move up next to Maggie, with Judy sitting between the two of them. It had been too bumpy for Beth to write, and perhaps it was for the best.

When they stopped, Maggie and Beth were responsible for all the cooking and chores, the studies of the children forgotten. No matter how long they rested, Ma seemed to get worse and worse. Her features became gaunt, her eyes become more shrunken day by day. Near the end her skin had taken on a blue-ish tinge. Ma died the next day.

They buried her by the river, and this time Mr. Dixon and Shawn dug the grave. Pa was inconsolable, never leaving her body, wrapped in a piece of extra canvas for the wagon. Shawn gave the service, and Maggie and Beth watched over the children. Mr. Grimes was no where to be seen, and Pa said and ate nothing all day. Maggie took care of cooking while Beth spent this afternoon cleaning the wagon and soaking all of the linens on the bed. Beth opened as much of the canvas as she could. The smell of death was heavy in the wagon.

“Beth,” a small voice said.

Beth turned around to see Judy standing there.

“Yes Judy?” Beth said, tucking her journal into her apron pocket.

“Are you sad. You’ve lost your Ma too.”

“I am sad,” Beth said quietly, unsure how to answer this little girl. “But I don’t have time to be sad, darling. Who would look after you if I was?”

Judy stood there, her eyes unblinking and silent. She seemed to have nothing to say, as she shifted from foot to foot.

“Well, Maggie says it’s dinner,” Judy said meekly, as she hurried out of the wagon.

The meal was eaten in silence, just as it was when Mrs. Grimes was buried. Yet it was so much worse. There was no comforting presence of an older, experienced woman this time. There was no Ma to put a soft hand on your shoulder, to say that grief will pass. There is no Ma to help with the rearing of two children not her own. Her Pa had no one to comfort him tonight, when there was darkness all around. He was sitting still, by the fire, unconscious to the world. At least Maggie and Beth had each other, and little Judy, to comfort them.

Beth was startled out of her thoughts when a pair of boots passed her eyesight. Mr. Dixon was standing in front of her brother.

“I wanted to offer my condolences Shawn,” Mr. Dixon said.offering his hand to him. “To you and your family,” he said, making eye contact with Maggie and Beth.

“We really appreciate it Mr. Dixon.” Shawn said, taking the outstretched hand

“I said the same to your Pa, but he didn’t hear me.”

“Pa is...” Shawn faltered. There was nothing that could be said about Pa.

“Your Pa will recover,” Mr. Dixon said, looking over at Pa. “It’s a shock to lose someone you love.”

---
August 21th, 1852

Less than a week after Ma passed, Pa followed her. Beth felt as though there is no more left to lose. Her soul felt heavy with sorrow and unshed tears. But she had no time for tears. She was now an adult, responsible for the wellbeing of both my family and everyone else, along with the hurt of loss. Maggie was miserable. Her face was pale and her feet drug. Beth felt what Maggie displayed on her face, although she’d been unable to express it. With her mourning, Beth must stay strong for her family. Judith was the only comfort she had.

She prayed that Pa would find Ma in heaven.

---
August 29th, 1852

After they began our trek again after the funeral, Maggie became bedridden with sorrow. She had developed the fever and ague, one moment sweating and the next shivering. Shawn had been trying to treat her ever since, distracted as he tried to keep the animals and wagons together. It was a great pressure to become the head of the family.

Beth now drove the oxen, which was harder than she ever imagined. She also worried everyday about Judy. She would sit beside her and keep her company, but she found herself becoming distracted that Judith would fall down and be trampled by the oxen, or run over by the wagon wheels. But Judy did well, and followed Beth’s words well.
With Maggie disposed of, Beth was also left accountable for all the food and the women chores. Judy tried to help, but she was still a little girl. Mr. Dixon had been helping Shawn with all of the family chores, with Carl helping too. Both of them were very helpful. The only good that seemed to have come from all of this death and sadness was that it seemed to have brought Mr. Grimes around. He had begun to act more normal, spending his time with both Judy and Carl, although he remained very quiet.

Yesterday, they made it to Fort Boise, and Shawn gave Beth five silver dollars to purchase some needed supplies and medicine. Thankfully Mr. Dixon had been keeping everyone in game, saving everyone from butchering their animals.

While Beth headed to the general store at the fort, a man stumbled out of what Beth could only assume was a saloon or bar. He approached her, grabbing her arms, and told her to be quiet. She could smell the spirits on his breath as he approached her.

“Go away or I’ll scream,” Beth said trying to pull back from him.

Just as he was about to retort, bringing his head closer to her, Mr. Dixon showed up.

“What is your business with the young lady?” he asked, walking over to the pair.

The man eyed Mr. Dixon over Beth’s shoulder, and walked away without a word.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m just fine.”

After this, Mr. Dixon escorted Beth to the general store, and stayed with her as she bought supplies. He even bought some peppermint candy, giving her three pieces of candy. She assumed this was for the two children, and possibly even one for herself. She stored the candy in her hope chest wrapped in some tissue paper.

“Beth.”

Beth looked up from her journal to see her brother Shawn coming towards her. Jiggs lifted his head from her side to give Shawn a sniff, before putting it down again with a sigh. Shawn sat down next to her where she had been resting against the wagon wheel. She stayed outside of the cabin, not wanting to bother Maggie who was sleeping in Ma and Pa’s bed. Judy was tucked in Beth’s bed. And Carl was with his father.

“How is Maggie doing?” Beth asked.

“I think she no longer is suffering from the fever, but I don’t know. Pa would know what was happening.” Shawn said, his face in his hands.

“Pa isn’t here, but we have you. And you are doing so well,” Beth said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

“And we have you. You’ve been working so hard. I wish I could do more to help you.”

“There isn’t much of a choice. I simply do what I have to.”

“I wish you could have stayed in Illinois now,” Shawn said, sadness and doubt in his voice. “At least Grandpa Ingalls would have found you a good husband. I don’t know if I can do that.”

“You’ll do just fine Shawn. You can not stop now though. Maggie and I will be just fine in the Territory, as long as we have you to help us.”

“I hope so,” Shawn sighed, leaning back. “It’s time for bed, Beth. I hope we can move on in the morning.”
---

September 17th, 1852

The goup had been moving much faster, since winter was fast approaching. Mr. Dixon said that if they didn’t pick up the pace, they’d be unable to make it to Oregon in time to get property and shelter for the winter. There was also talk of exchanging help to make homes, with Mr. Grimes telling Shawn that he’d be willing to help Shawn provided he returned the favor. Beth prayed that everyone would be on neighboring land. In new territory, strange to everyone, it would be good to see familiar faces.

Thankfully Maggie had been doing much better. She was til sad from time to time, but she was able to remain on her feet. They had so many chores to do, and Beth was so tired now because they were moving so much faster. But between Maggie and Judith, they were able to get everything done.

Shawn still seemed to be unsure of his ability to continue in Pa’s place. He had hoped to become a doctor, and Pa had said that there were no medical schools in the West. Shawn would have to travel back East to go to medical school. However, Beth wondered how this would happen. Shawn had wanted to go to medical school back in Illinois, at Rush Medical School, like Pa. But, now he seemed to have doubts if he would ever be able to make his way back East. He would do his duty, and wouldn’t go back until he was able to find good husbands for Maggie and Beth. He told Beth the other night that he’d never leave them unwed, with no financial or family support.

“Beth!”

Judy and Carl had come back with water, Jiggs right behind, so Beth could start washing dishes. “Can we go with Maggie to take care of the animals? We want to see the little calves.”

“Go on, but stay away from the cows unless Maggie is with you. And keep that dog back. Those cows are very protective of their young!”

Beth started the washing, separating some of the water into the pot to boil, leaving the rest to rinse. She was washing the morning dishes when she heard a rustling behind her. Turning about, she saw Mr. Dixon coming back, a brace of rabbits in each hand.

“You all alone here?” Mr. Dixon asked, looking around the camp.

“I suppose so,” Beth said, continuing to wash dishes, oddly conscious of the wet spots on her apron. “Shawn and Mr. Grimes are still hunting, and Maggie and the children are with the animals.”

Mr. Dixon just stood there, looking around the camp silent.

“Those hares will do wonderfully in a stew,” Beth said, continuing her chores. “If you skin and clean them, I’ll cook them up.”

So they continued that way, with Beth doing laundry and Mr. Dixon skinning the rabbits.

“I’ve been wanting to thank you,” Beth said, “for coming to my aid at Fort Boise. I never did thank you properly.”

He was quiet for a time, apparently lost in his thoughts.“You remind me of my first wife,” he said finally, his knife stopping.

“Oh,” Beth said, drying her hands on her apron. “I didn’t know you were married.”

“About five years ago, my family and I traveled on the Oregon Trail. We didn’t even make it to the springs. By the time I hit Fort Brider, I was alone. My wife and three young children were dead and buried. I sold what I had on the wagon, took provisions and headed back East on horseback. I had nothing left for me in the West, or at least I thought so. Not until this past year when I had nothing left in the East. That’s when I decided to try my luck again.”

Beth had never heard Mr. Dixon talk so much. She was just about to reply, when Judy and Carl came running and squealing up, racing Jiggs. Maggie was behind them all, with a pail of new milk in her hand.

“Let me take over the dishes Bethy, and you can start working at dinner.” Maggie looked between Beth and Daryl, but said nothing about it.

“Are those hares ready Mr. Dixon?”

“Most of them.”

Beth walked over to Mr. Dixon and took the three rabbits he offered her.

“I’ll give you the last one when we’re done,” he said, looking into her eyes.

Beth felt slightly flustered as she made dinner, under the watchful eye of her older sister.

---

October 15th, 1852

Beth was beyond excited. They were finally here! They’d finally made it! AFter several long, grueling months, they’d finally made it to the valley. She was as giddy as the child, her heart brimming with the joy of it all. It made her feel as though all the trials, troubles, and heartache that everyone experienced on the trail was worth it.

They’d stopped at the edge of the valley, giving themselves a chance to take stock, enjoy their afternoon meal, and clean up a bit. Ma had always said that first impressions were important.

“Time to pack up Beth!” Maggie called, tossing the water from the dishes into the bushes.

Beth quickly pocketed her journal, ready to continue. Everyone ran around, getting everything ready to travel again, for the last time. Jiggs was of course getting in the way. Ahead of them was a place to stay, to farm, to raise a family, and to leave to their children.

With all the animals ready, Maggie driving one wagon and Beth the other, the group of pioneers mounted their horses, ready to move on. Waiting for something.

“Lets head out,” Shawn said, looking down in the valley.

With that, the oxen began moving, carrying everything they had to their name down the valley. Ready to begin their new lives in a new territory.

Beth couldn’t wait to see what the next entry in her journal was going to be. She was excited and scared to start again. They’d loss so much, but her heart was filled with joy as their trials were coming to an end. She felt she must sing, or she’d surely die.

March, march, Ettrick and Teviotdale,
Why my lads dinna ye march forward in order?
March, march, Eskdale and Liddesdale,
All the Blue Bonnets are bound for the Border.

Her voice was strong and it carried her happiness with it. She set the pace as they traveled, singing song after song, with voices of her family joining in. They may have many tales to tell from the trail, some sad and some glad. But for now they had nothing by joy in their hearts and songs, fore they were making their way to new lands and lives.

Together in Oregon.

The End.