Chapter Text
Axel didn’t expect to wake up.
He did.
There was a moment when he wished he wouldn’t have.
He could feel his heartbeat first jump erratically and then calm down. He ached, a bone deep ache, and it took unnaturally long for him to remember how to move. However, as he tried to will his body to follow his commands, to his surprise, he managed it. Slowly, he made it to his side, then stumbled up to his feet, promptly falling forward and staying upright only because he found support in the first surface he collided with. He had burns along both his arm and the skin crackled as he moved but that seemed to be the worst of it.
No, scratch that, he had managed to light the lab on fire. Normally, he’d not had that much a problem with that, but now the smell of burning rubber was a lot to take in. He doubled, covering his mouth, trying to get away from the smoke.
However, as his awareness of the world started returning, so did rest of his thoughts.
Roxas. He needed to find out what had happened to Roxas.
Axel looked around. The blast had been enough to throw some things out of place but other than that everything looked the same, what with some small fires littering the place. It looked like most of the machinery had escaped the worst of the damage – must’ve been pretty well insulated for the amount of power they probably needed – and it was just the assorted pieces of paper that had caught fire.
But first Roxas.
Axel made it over to the cocoon that he’d pushed Roxas towards and found the boy laying on the ground next to it. He had a moment when his heart forgot how to keep to a rhythm, but then he noticed the way Roxas’ chest was still rising with a steady breath. “Roxas,” Axel pleaded as he kneeled next to him. He shook him gently.
Roxas opened his eyes and looked confused, then focusing on Axel. “That was the dumbest thing I have seen everyone do,” he said.
“I am sure you’ve seen me do worse,” Axel replied without thinking, stopping when he saw Roxas stare at him, clearly trying to remember. Right. Their past didn’t exist for anyone besides Axel. “You think you’ll be okay?”
Roxas gave him a nod and Axel forced himself to get up and leave him there. He looked around once again. Xion lay where he’d left her, a pitiful sight. However, she didn’t present the most urgent problem. From behind one counter, Axel could hear the sounds of movement. Clearly, Larxene or Xigbar where retaining their consciousness too.
Axel ignored the way his body protested and rushed over towards the sound. Larxene was already sitting upright, but the few minutes that Axel had on her gave him the advantage. She only had the time to look up before Axel managed to overpower her and push her to the ground, holding her down by the arms. “You idiot!” Larxene hissed. “What do you think you are doing?”
“I am shutting this thing down. Doesn’t matter if it is Xehanort or Xemnas who is running this show, I am done with it,” Axel said. “And if you are smart, you’d get away from here and as far as possible before more security finds its way here.”
“We were the security,” she replied and tried to struggle free. “We told him you were coming. We made sure that we could do this undisturbed.”
“How fortunate. Gives us both a bigger window to get the hell out of here.”
Larxene tried to pull her hands free one last time but gave up with an angry shriek when she couldn’t shake Axel off.
“Can we reach an understanding?” Axel asked. “There is nothing here for you. Whatever Xehanort planned, it failed. Sora is free and I don’t think you’ll catch him. Whatever was valuable up here must’ve short-circuited with the blast.”
This time, she lay still. “And you would just have us go the way we came?” she said in a scornful tone.
“For old times shake?” Axel suggested. “I owe you one, and you should really collect it now. I am not going to give you another opportunity.”
She gave a little attempt of a shrug. “Fine,” she spat.
Axel rolled off, still vary, but Larxene could be practical. Axel wasn’t in the shape or mood to go actually fighting her for much longer. He would if he’d have to, but he was holding onto the hope that she’d be sensible. “Take Xigbar with you if you want to,” he suggested. She was up to her feet with barely a stumble and took a glance to where Xigbar still lay. “You said that your headcount was too low already,” Axel reminded her.
She gave Axel a suspicious look before walking to Xigbar and kicking him. “You alive?” she asked and Xigbar grunted in reply. Axel backed away but kept his eyes on the duo. She was not happy but could see that there was nothing to win here. She helped Xigbar up and dragged him with her out of the room. Maybe they would try to go after Sora. Axel didn’t really care. Sora was Riku’s and Kairi’s problem now. When they were through the door, Axel quickly went to it and locked it by barricading it with a metal rod that had been piece of some machinery or other.
Finally, he could turn his attention to the real problem.
He hadn’t exactly lied when he said that the electrical spike and the fires had probably done irrevocable damage to the machines. However, he hoped that he was wrong. His reasoning was simple. The machines must have stasis capability because they’d kept the Keyblade Master alive for months. Stasis machines tended to have fallbacks. Now it was only a question on how thorough the fallback systems were here.
Roxas was still sitting up, but he looked like he was nodding off. Clearly, he had been hit by some of the blast. Axel was truly tempted to go to him and make sure he was alright – he must be okay, he’d been able to speak earlier, there was no need for Axel to go there – and headed for Xion instead. Axel crouched next to her and scooped her up in his arms.
Axel carried her towards the cocoon next to the one that had held Sora. He was hopeful – these pods still had a soft glow surrounding them even though most of the lab had gone dark. He paused in front of it.
Well, that was creepy.
It was not empty, but what was inside it wasn’t exactly a complete human.
Clearly, a new cloning process to replace Roxas had been started.
Axel looked at the next machine. It looked empty. He carried Xion to it and took her hand and placed it on the control panel. A light flashed on the touch surface and the machinery whirred to life and the petals started opening. There was no point in second guessing here so Axel simply deposited her into the cocoon. The cocoon had a human shaped impression that she settled into peacefully, never stirring.
He stepped back and touched the control panel, hoping that once unlocked it would be ready to receive instructions from everyone. This seemed to be his lucky day because the cocoon reacted to his touch and the petals closed around Xion, turning half translucent, almost hiding her from view.
Axel hurried to Roxas. He crouched down, shook the boy again, and this time Roxas took a while to react. “Hey, Roxas, come on,” Axel pleaded and the only reply he got was a little mumble. Axel wrapped his arm around the boy and helped him up, dragging him up to his feet. He was mostly unresponsive, but he was still breathing, and that gave Axel the strength to do the same. He half carried, half dragged Roxas towards the cocoon that now held Xion and past it, past the creepy one with the half-finished clone and all the way to the one that had held Sora.
Axel took one steadying breath before he pushed Roxas into the cocoon. As he fell into the soft container, he finally stirred and opened his eyes. He looked confused. Axel backed away quickly before he could hesitate. Roxas was still staring at him, slowly coming to and understanding his surroundings. When his gaze met with Axel, Axel gave him the brightest smile he could – even though he could feel tears trying to gather – and said, “My name is Axel. Keep it memorized for the next life,” before hitting the button to close the cocoon.
The petals wrapped themselves around Roxas the same way they had done for Xion, but this time Axel crumbled to the ground and sat still until the machine was quiet again.
Roxas would be alright.
This had been the only way. The stasis would protect him until they could find a cure.
But there was no guarantees that he’d remember Axel ever again.
He didn’t have to. He shouldn’t have to.
That was the truth. Axel was involved with the Organization and the Organization was just an echo of all of this, all the madness that had come from Xehanort. Roxas didn’t need to be part of it. Xion didn’t deserve this fate that Vexen had given, no, created for her. The two of them deserved something far better.
Axel could give it to them.
Axel pushed himself up. He had one last job to do.
xxx
When Axel reached the ground floor he was still alone. Maybe his plan had been just so brazenly stupid that he could get away with it. He wasn’t going to look into the mouth of this gift horse. He simply stumbled outside through the same door he’d taken in in the first place. From there the next step was to figure out a transport. There was no way he could walk for much longer, especially while carrying a heavy satchel filled with all the paper he had been able to salvage from the fire.
Axel pulled his hood up and tidied his clothes as best he could before he wandered into the streets, looking for anything that he could hotwire. He must’ve looked as shaken as he was because people gave him curious glances and moved away. Axel couldn’t care now. He had a mission, and then he would disappear. He picked the first car that he found and simply broke the window right there on the street. There was always some time before someone realised and he was willing to bet now that he could make it away in time. Modern cars were electric and smart - it meant that all Axel had to do was to connect the hacking device and allow it to feed in the common factory passwords into the car's control system until it relented. He leaned back and closed his eyes, jerking upright when the device gave a little buzz to signal it was done. He leaned into his arms, taking a deep breath to gather himself. He only needed to keep his body carrying him for a moment longer.
It was hard to say if Dr Ansem was surprised to see him appear at his door in the middle of the night, but he did take it surprisingly well. He let Axel in, gesturing towards the sitting room he’d received them the day before but Axel declined to follow him further in from the lobby. He wanted his business here over and done with as quickly as possible.
“How did it go?” Ansem asked.
“The Keyblade Master is out, and Xehanort is out of business if we can make a deal,” Axel said. Ansem gave him a long hard stare, then tilted his head.
“I’m listening.”
“I can get you all the data that Xehanort didn’t want to leave the lab if you promise to use it and your power to get his imperium shut down. You can get the data if you do me one favour.”
“And what favour would this be?”
Axel grinned. “I need you to complete your research.” Ansem listened quietly when Axel explained his request. He looked thoughtful when Axel was done. “How about it?”
Ansem looked up at him. “And what about yourself? Are you not going to want something as a reward?”
Axel laughed at that. “What is there to be rewarded for? I have done more messed up shit than I can remember. My terms were selfish enough already. Is it a deal or not?”
Xxx
It felt like he had been asleep for a very long time. He rolled to his side and tried to open his eyes, blinking at the brightness of the sunlight. He felt sluggish. Like he’d been asleep for months.
“How are you feeling?” asked a man with a gentle voice. “Roxas, can you hear me?” Roxas blinked again, forcing his eyes to focus this time. An older man was sitting on a chair next to his bed with a book in his lap. He was smiling as he put the book away. “You must have many questions. However, could you tell me what is the last thing you remember?” the man asked.
Roxas thought back. Last thing before what?
There was an accident. He remembered being pushed aside and diving for cover, wait, no, that wasn’t it. There was something else. That wasn’t the last thing he remembered. A flash of light before the world turned dark again as the petals closed around him and- “The idiot,” Roxas mumbled. He sat up and was pleasantly surprised that he had no trouble doing that. He should’ve, he thought, based on the fact he remembered the shockwave passing through his body. However, he seemed fine. He looked at his hand and arms. Not even a bruise. He looked up at Ansem.
“Ask your questions,” Ansem said with a soft smile.
Roxas had a few more specific ones, but he started with the one that he hoped would give him most of the answer. “What happened?”
“I do not know everyhting that happened,” Ansem apologized. “However, what I can tell you is that when police came to confiscate everything from Xehanort’s lab, I was able to offer my expertise in recognising everything that could’ve been used for illegal cloning. Some equipment might also have gotten lost as it was moved from the premises into governmental storage. If it included an almost completed clone body and pods used as stasis cabinets, I do not have any knowledge of it if asked.”
Roxas looked at his hands. They felt like his but he could read between the lines. “Why?”
Ansem was still smiling gently. “There are many reasons. Partially, I feel responsible for all that happened and this is the least I could do to make amends. That is something your friend made sure to remind me about.”
Roxas looked at his hands, closing them into a fist and opening them again. It was his body, yet it wasn’t. “Won’t you end up in trouble? Since this is a cloned body?” Roxas asked.
“As far as anyone is concerned, it isn’t,” Ansem said. “It is fully yours, and had always been. I have still contacts from the time I was working with grafts. People don’t think about it, and we don’t want them to really be aware of it, but with extended remodelling of the body parts, sometimes the body needs to be retagged with the ID.”
“Oh,” Roxas said. “You mean I’m real?”
Ansem nodded.
“And what about Xion?“
“She still needs more time,” Ansem explained. “You could take over the body that Xehanort was already working on since you were already a match to Sora. However, Xion isn’t a pure copy of either you or Sora so the process is going to take a bit longer.”
“But she’ll be fine?”
“I promise,” Ansem said solemnly. “You can go see her later if you want. However, some of your friends are waiting in the garden since they knew you were likely to wake up today. I expect them to be eager to see you.”
Roxas placed his feet on the floor. He was barefoot and wearing pyjamas. Everything felt surreal. The life of running was over. He wanted to see Axel and see how he was taking it. “Thank you,” Roxas said. “Do you need me to stay here now or…?”
“If you feel up to it, I have no reason to stop you. We can talk more later. However, I recommend you take it easy. This body isn’t used to exercise yet. It should adapt very quickly,” Ansem said and got up and out of the way.
Roxas found his legs little shaky but they carried him well enough. He hadn’t spent much time in this house but he found his way out to the garden door without much struggle. He looked around, trying to see where someone could hide. It was easy to spot the flash of red against the green grass. He hurried over, his barefooted steps quiet on the grass. He realised only belatedly that it wasn’t Axel after all.
Kairi turned to look at him and smiled brightly. “Roxas!” she called as she scrambled up and came to hug him. She stepped away when she realised that Roxas wasn’t returning the hug, too surprised to really react.
“Uh, hi,” Roxas said. He looked around. Riku was sitting on the grass next to where she’d been sitting and the third member of the group was Sora. He waved at Roxas. Axel was nowhere to be seen.
“Great to see you feeling better,” Sora said.
“Same to you,” Roxas replied. He got a wide grin in reply. Then he couldn’t wait for longer. “Where’s Axel?”
Kairi shook her head. “We don’t know. We left Nort Corp before you guys to get Sora to safety. When we returned here, Ansem told us that Axel had been here and then left. We haven’t heard of him since.”
“We haven’t been looking for him either,” Riku said. “I get the sense that he doesn’t want to be found.”
Xxx
Roxas remembered talking with Axel about the future. The future had always been something they’d been striving towards yet something they didn’t dare to define. The future had always been gated behind them getting IDs. Now that those gates had been opened, Roxas realised how little he knew about what he wanted to do.
Roxas had been asleep for a month. After he awoke, he stayed the first few days at Ansem’s place. Ansem wanted to keep an eye on him, just in case, but when nothing worrying appeared, Roxas decided it was time for him to go. Xion would still need more time but Ansem promised that they’d all be welcome to visit her, and that he would let them know when she was ready to wake up.
Sora was eager to invite Roxas to stay with the Keyblade gang. Roxas didn’t have anything of his own, but Sora seemed to be have no trouble sharing of what was his. “We are practically the same person. Except not,” he’d said with a laugh.
They were laying low – the shockwaves caused by the dramatic raid at the Nort Corp were still everywhere – and days passed quietly. Roxas followed the news. People were eagerly discussing what all that had happened meant for the clone laws. How could Nort Corp, the stout defender, have fooled them all? Yet Roxas didn’t need to worry. He was no longer just a clone.
A more minor news item that caught Roxas attention was a raid to a sleepy neighbourhood in the shadow of a Bell Tower. It seemed like an anonymous tipoff had uncovered a web of criminals that had taken weeks to clear. At first, Roxas worried for Axel but surely he wouldn’t have returned to the Organization? Roxas chose to believe that he was fine and moved on.
However, reminders of Axel were everywhere. When Kairi and Sora insisted on teaching Roxas how to be ‘real’, it reminded Roxas of the first days with Axel. They bought ice creams. They sat by a fountain. He didn’t need to watch out for anything. The first time he walked into a store and realised that he was leaving a trace, he was slightly freaked by it. A week later, he barely noticed.
He did notice, however, that he was being watched.
At first, he tried to catch whoever it was that was stalking him by using the skills that Axel had taught him. They didn’t do the trick. Even when he tried to be unpredictable, the person watching him didn’t do anything risky to keep track of him. Sometimes the stalker left him for a while but after a few days, the sense of being watched was back.
The third time that happened, Roxas did what he should’ve probably done right from the beginning.
He headed out to the quiet district at the outskirts of the city with a Bell Tower looking at the sunset. When he stepped into the elevator, after avoiding the camera out of habit, he felt a nervous tingle go through his body. He was close to the old Organization haunts, but he doubted anyone was left there. He was not worried that the Organization would look for him. He was, however, scared of the unknown that waited up at the top of the tower.
When the doors opened, they showed a viewing platform that wasn’t empty.
Axel turned to see the elevator doors and then scrambled quickly up to get to a sitting position. It looked like he’d been here for a while, laying on his back and looking at the sky. Now, he was wide awake, his eyes wide and staring. He didn’t stop staring as Roxas walked closer. He was completely frozen in place when Roxas sat down next to him and Roxas wasn’t sure if he was still breathing.
Roxas took one look at the unchanged scenery, the towers of the city bathed in the light of the setting sun, and said, “What kind of goodbye was that? What were you thinking? Keep it memorized for the next life?” He had other choice words as well but he didn’t get an opportunity before Axel enveloped him in crushing hug. He wrapped his hands around Axel.
“You do remember me,” Axel said quietly into Roxas neck. “You remember.” He pulled away suddenly. “You do remember me, right?” When Roxas nodded, Axel hugged him again and didn’t let go this time.
“Why are you hiding out here?” Roxas asked. “I expected you to be there with the others when I woke up.”
Axel tensed. “I-“ he hesitated. “If you wouldn’t have remembered… If Ansem didn’t succeed in getting all your memories transferred, it was better if you got to get a clean start. When you forgot about me, I realised that you were better off without me. If this was to be your new life, you didn’t need me for that.” With each word, Axel sounded more hesitant.
Roxas tightened his hug before gently pushing Axel away. Axel quickly looked away and looked like he was wiping away tears before he turned and gave Roxas a wide grin. Roxas found himself replying it with a smile. “You’ve been watching me.”
Now, Axel looked embarrassed and scratched his neck. “You know me. Never known how to keep away.” He tried smiling but his smile faltered a second later. “Look, I just needed to make sure. I didn’t mean anything by it. You seem to have everything sorted out. That’s all I needed to know.”
“Not everything,” Roxas replied. “I don’t know what to do now that I’m real.”
At that, Axel did smile again. “You can do whatever you want.”
“And how about you?” Roxas demanded.
Axel reached out into the pocket of his jacket and took out a little see-through container with a small capsule in it. “Our local miracle doctor didn’t just conjure you and Xion bodies, he threw in a bargain of a couple of extra ID chips. Something about ‘he couldn’t have illegal clones walking around’,” he said and shook the little container. He fell quiet after that in a way that made Roxas immediately aware that there was something more. “I know it’s stupid not to have it installed immediately. It just didn’t feel right, not after all this time.”
“What do you mean?” Roxas asked, even though he thought he did understand. His whole life he’d been just striving to reach this point and now he didn’t know anymore. The vastness of the world was suddenly terrifying.
“I am going to take him on his offer. Only needed to get my head on straight first. And well, let you recover and get out of the way,” Axel explained. “Thought I’d just be passing by the old haunts while I did that. Maybe take a break for ice-cream at the top of the bell tower.” He paused. “And maybe see if you’d come looking.”
Roxas rolled his eyes. “Why make it that complicated? You could’ve just come to speak with me.”
Axel looked away. “It’s a brand-new life. You have no reason to stick with me,” he said quietly.
“You were there for us in the beginning. And now we are at a new beginning. I’d like to figure it out with you,” Roxas said and Axel looked up with a careful smile.
Axel scratched his neck again. He was nervous in a way Roxas didn’t remember seeing him before. “You needed me back then. You were so inexperienced. You don’t need my help now.”
Roxas thought a moment, then said, “Need, no. But I’ve missed you.” Axel looked at him and then looked away again, looking almost embarrassed. Roxas allowed them to sit still a while, enjoying the warmth of a body next to him. He remembered now the many days they’d been here, the way those days had felt. Everything was different now, yet it wasn’t. It felt like the world had changed when they’d stood still. He studied that feeling. That wasn’t true either.
Much had happened since they’d sat together here at the rooftop. Things weren’t the same between the two of them anymore. There was one change that, well, neither of them had really gotten an opportunity to talk about. “Axel, when we were at Radiant Garden…,” Roxas started. He could feel Axel tense up. Roxas was pretty sure about his guess. “Did you want it to be real?”
Axel was still looking away. “It doesn’t need to mean anything,” Axel said, laughed, but his laughter was of the thin kind.
“What if I want it to?” Roxas asked. When Axel finally turned to look at him, Roxas reached up to give a quick chaste kiss on his cheek before it was his turn to look away, his cheeks burning.
“Oh,” Axel said, and then pulled Roxas into a side hug and buried his face in his hair, “In that case, I think I do look forward to this new life after all.”