BUT YOU MADE IT WORSE. And oh ... oh, god, that hurts. That really, really hurts. *sends pained glares back* (Yeeeeeeeah I think we're both quite familiar with that fact by now. XD)
THE BLAME CAN STILL BE TRACED BACK TO YOU. And yeah... heh heh heh... okay no but the idea of Sans at least when he was very, very little calling Gaster "Daddy" if only in his head causes me so much pain and now it's firmly ingrained as part of my headcanon. Headcanon of my own... fic... so.... canon. Oh dear. (Mmmm, feels... )
OKAY FINE YOU WIN THIS ROUND. But ooooooooooh ow. That's ... okay, the next time you accuse me of being really angsty in my headcanons I'm just going to point at this and say "WHAT ABOUT YOU."
........ I can live with that. Seriously, though, despite that you gave me the initial idea I'm slightly proud to have made it worse because I am Awful. I'm figuring that, again, Sans would have stopped altogether by the time he was six, but then he does end up thinking of Gaster otherwise when he and Papyrus are free, and he's desperate ;_; (I'd... rather not think about what would happen if he slipped and called him that out loud, before. Now it's gone full circle and it makes me wonder if that ever happened with Sans from Snowdin's Boys).
... I think that's another item for our pie chart: making each other's painful ideas even worse. And oh goooooood yeah I can see him doing that ... I mean, it's only natural to look back and wonder, even briefly, "Are things ACTUALLY better now than they were then?" especially when things still suck in the present. (Oh ... yes ... yes, let's not think about that. At all. And oh god, now that you say that ... god, I haven't even DEVELOPED the Gaster from that story but I can imagine that Sans doing it and it's ... DANGIT CAT.)
Ah, but is making each other's painful ideas even worse PART of just ... generally causing the other pain? Does that mean we'd have to make that section slightly smaller or can it be understood to be a subcategory? But it's definitely a good place to ask that question! After all, on the one hand, NWABBW Sans wasn't going through as many experiments - or at least, not ones quite so brutal - but he was also entirely alone and he didn't have Papyrus, plus even if the physical experiments weren't as bad, Gaster was still severely emotionally abusive and manipulative, and when he was littler and more gullible, poor Sans was... a lot easier to manipulate. (Yeah, that's just too depressing to think about. But geez, I don't even want to begin to think about what Snowdin's Boys Sans went through that was so bad when he was only five years old).
Oh my god, we're going to need subcategories for our friendship pie chart. This is going to be EPIC. XD But oh, god, I mean, that's a tough one, because how do you COMPARE cases of child abuse? Like, on one hand my Sans and Pap had a happier young childhood, but on the other hand they had gotten used to things being good so Gaster betraying them was, well, a betrayal. Then there's the nature of the experiments and the emotional abuse on top of the physical abuse and oh dear god what kind of sickos are we. (I ... I don't want to think about it either. But I am now. I ... have absolutely no plans to write more for that fic, but there are times when these ideas just slip into my head ...)
I'm starting to realise this friendship pie chart will in reality be very difficult to draw up. XD But yeah, no kidding - you really can't just "compare" cases of abuse and determine what's "worse" - to do that is totally invalidaitng. The It's Raining brothers have... gone through a lot - barring the fact that Gaster kind of failed at being a really good dad through his treatment of Papyrus, they were still pretty happy, and it still hurts to think of how much they've been utterly betrayed. It's so hard to believe that Gaster now is the same as the one in the early chapters haha. But yeah, we're both... awful people, as we've well established (Ugh see telling myself I don't want to think about it automatically makes me think about it, so now I have a very good idea of what my Gaster would do and I'm sorry).
Yes. Yes it will be. Even with that program I found, it's going to be ... a feat. XD But oh, yeah, the It's Raining brothers certainly have their own set of problems - even before the overt abuse, Papyrus was being neglected and Sans was being unintentionally pressured - but god, every time I think back to the early chapters of NWABBW with little Sans and all he went through ... and that one time when Gaster went after little Papyrus ... *shudders* (NOW I'M THINKING OF WHAT YOUR GASTER WOULD DO AND IT'S NOT FUN.)
But the effort will be worth it - and we'll get to work on it together! As for the It's Raining brothers, yes, exactly - and I think Sans being unintentionally pressured came across especially in the most recent and final flashback chapter. Again, I really love how you set up a family that was loving but had serious issues even before stuff went wrong - it's a refreshing change from typical overtly fluffy Dadster stuff (which can be cute, I just... prefer Gaster to be evil), and it makes the current day events easier to believe. And the whole thing is just a lot less... trite I guess? ANYWAY yes little Sans goes through a lot of awful stuff and things just can't go well for him in my story can they! (And oh O.O I'm genuinely curious now, what DO you think my Gaster would do? *uncomfortable laughter*)
It will be MORE than worth it, especially since we get to finish it together! :D And awww, thank you!! I'm really glad that came across - his emotional issues are a lot more subtle than Papyrus's, but he still has that sense of Gaster's approval of him being conditional (if he stops being smart and successful, Gaster and everyone else will stop saying he's so great). And thank you again - I'm just really, really glad that worked out in the story.
NO. APPARENTLY THEY CANNOT. (And ... I've got several ideas. Which range from the potentially most-mild of just giving him a long, unimpressed look, to basically trying to show him every single reason he's not Sans's "daddy" and Sans is not his son, which could include horribly painful experimentation, locking him in a closet, and/or verbal berating ... and now I'm morbidly but genuinely curious what YOU would have him do.)
Yep! Gawd, it's still pretty insane to me that we're actually going to meet. And oh, don't worry, it most definitely did! It'd honestly be absurd if Papyrus was the only one who had emotional issues, if Sans was perfectly fine, knowing how Gaster raised his kids. And yeah, poor Sans, that makes a lot of sense - Gaster shows the most pride in him when he's churning out extraordinary scientific feats, so of course he'd assume that if he somehow failed at all, his dad would lose his respect for him.
(Actually! You'd be pretty correct on the first one - Gaster just sort of giving him this.... look, and that would be enough to scare poor little six-year-old Sans of saying anything like that ever agian. Which might be worse in a way. If it's any comfort at all, Gaster wouldn't have used experimentation as a method of punishment? He actually has a "reason" in his own twisted judgement for all of the experiments he does and wouldn't bother wasting resources for something like punishment - almost exclusively he'd just drag Sans upstairs and lock him in the closet overnight or for several hours as punishment, which is also pretty horrible of course).
I KNOW. It's ... well, like I said on Skype, it probably won't fully sink in until I'm actually leaving for the airport. XD And thank you!! Oh, yeah, playing favorites and valuing specific characteristics in your kids rather than just valuing them for who they are ... is bad for everyone involved. Poor kiddos.
(OW. That's ... even just that look is ... oh, why can't I hug this child. This child needs so many hugs. And ah, yeah, that makes sense - I ... will take some small amount of comfort that he wasn't experimented on. But the locking him in the closet thing is ... god, that's horrendous. And I've heard of real parents who actually do that to their kids, too, it's just ... disgusting. Again, I need to hug this kid.)
Yeah, same for me. Like when I'm at the Arrivals gate waiting for you to come in from getting your luggage. I mean, how many Internet friends are so lucky as to be able to really meet in real life despite significant distance??? And yep, exactly - I'll never stop liking that aspect of your Gaster, it just adds so much depth to his personality - because it's not like he doesn't love his children.
(Yeah, it kind of... I mean, if just a look is enough to... oh, my poor baby Sans. He really does need all the hugs, but he probably wouldn't accept them ): Gaster was horribly emotionally abusive too after all. Yeah it's a pretty small amount of comfort tbh *ahem* it's not like he wasn't still experimented on regularly for the purposes of experimentation. And yeah, I had heard of it too, and it was something I can definitely picture Gaster doing. Locking a kid in a closet, especially for as long as Gaster did, is just so horrific, and to think real parents to that in the real world to their real kids... Gawd I've made a messed up story haven't I).
... can we take a moment to appreciate that an entire lengthy conversation on this has spawned from two words in a chapter of Snowdin's Boys? XD)
Yeah, that ... might be the same for me. XD Or at least not until I'm leaving for the airport, like I said, since the shock of actually GOING to an airport for the first time in eleven years will probably make it hit me. And I was actually curious a while back and looked it up, and internet friends meeting has gotten much more common, but when I was first joining the internet? It was ... incredibly rare. Mostly because everyone thought that anyone you met on the internet was necessarily a pervert/predator/lying. Seriously, though, I feel so lucky. And aww, thank you again!!
POOR BABY SANS. Oh, yeah, that's true, he probably wouldn't accept our hugs ... and I was about say "I'm glad that's over for him" but then I remembered OH YEAH GASTER'S COMING BACK. But seriously, yeah, the abuse this kid went through ... it's horrible. And well, yes, you have a very messed up story, but again, I have absolutely no ground to stand on in that respect.
And yes. Yes we can. I mean. Our entire friendship spawned from a comment on a story. So I guessed that's just kind of our thing. XD
Fair point, haha. Honestly in other ways it might not hit me until you go back home - like, oh wow, we actually met irl. Like how the fact that we have now spent 13 hours of our life Skyping so far, and that number will probably shoot up by a significant margin tomorrow. And oh yeah, I figured it had gotten more common! I'm just so glad it's happening now, in our case. It's really and truly going to happen.
D: Yeah, he wouldn't... I mean, it makes sense obviously. I still want to hold this kid more than anything in the world and tell him everything's going to be okay (even though I made him suffer because I'm the writer). And oh, yeah, good point - I wasn't thinking about that part, lol. Gaster's coming back and he's coming back soon. *wince* But yeah, Sans endured... well, he endured no end of horrible abuse and like you so kindly reminded me, IT'S NOT EVEN OVER. But yeah, you kind of don't. Because you killed Papyrus and he never got a chance at a happy ending and I will never stop reminding you I can't forgive you for that.
That is ... very true, haha. And I'll probably spend the whole plane ride home thinking, "Oh my god that actually happened" and will likely already be planning for next year. XD And now it's 21.5 hours and we've only Skyped four times, holy crap. And DEFINITELY! Even if it's more common, it's still crazy, in the best way, and I still feel so lucky.
Hey, I have no ground to stand on to judge you on that, I do the same thing! And um ... yeah ... that's happening ... and I'm still bracing myself for it. *dons feels armor* And yeah I'm not going to even try to defend myself for that because I am horrible and I do not deserve forgiveness for this atrocity.
No but okay I don't want to think about when we have to say goodbye, especially before we've even gotten to really meet! And... well, I wonder how long we'll go next??? 21.5 hours. Damn. I'm proud of us. (I think we need to keep a tally on this haha). But oh, it really is. And oh, I do... I really really do...
I mean. It's true. But yes, bracing yourself is a good idea and oh god, I've received a couple theories, and, well, let's just say all of them have made me break into ironic laughter ;) (IF YOU WERE ALLOWED TO TEASE ME THAT WAY ABOUT PAPYRUS'S DEATH THEN I'M ALLOWED TO DO IT TOO). Especially since, I mean. No. You don't deserve forgiveness.
LET'S JUST THINK ABOUT MEETING AND WE'LL DEAL WITH THE GOODBYES WHEN THEY COME. But holy crap, yes. I mean, I have no doubt we'll beat it at some point. Probably when we start Skyping earlier in the day so that sleep isn't an issue. XD But man, we are something else, aren't we? In the best way.
... bracing myself even harder then. (OKAY FINE WHATEVER DO WHAT YOU LIKE IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE FEELINGS.) ... yeah. Yeah I really don't.
No, be silent, stop talking about these goodbyes. Because I just want to think about the fact that we're meeting. We really, truly are. Just 36 days now. A month and a week. Wow. But oh, are we ever something else - created specially to conquer the interwebs with the power of our friendship, and even FFN's character limit cannot hold us back. *suplexes character limit*
Teehee ;) (And oh, I will. I most definitely will).
*stuffs thoughts of goodbye into dark shadowy corner* YES let's just think about that. 35 DAYS NOW. FIVE WEEKS. But YES, yes we are. And now I'm imagining that Undyne and Alphys created us as some sort of twisted experiment to try and break the internet. I mean. Breaking FFN character limits? It's like the ultimate combination of nerd and STRENGTH. XD
And as of today, it's 31! Just under a month. JUST UNDER A MONTH Y'HEAR ME. Okay we need to stop spamming our AO3 comment threads with our excitement for this trip (not). And oh my GOD, that is... my new favourite theory yes they did. Alphys's nerdiness and Undyne's FEROCITY NGAAAAHHHH. Because yeah, breaking FFN character limits is.... well... yeah. Especially considering we have FIVE other FFN threads. What are we.
ONE MONTH. 30 DAYS LESS THAN 30 DAYS NOW WE'RE GOING TO SEE EACH OTHER IN LESS THAN 30 DAYS. And yeah I think all our threads are going to be thoroughly spammed by then.
And yeeeeeeees that is us we are the twisted experiments of the most adorable couple ever. And uh *cough* yeah we really kind of destroyed FFN didn't we. XD
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