After the last two chapters I'm not really sure if I want to say "Oh Anakin" or "Oh Ahsoka" first. From your summary I interpreted your "dark" in a different direction (well, the Anakin-direction). But I'm probably not alone with it. Alright.
Anakin - I get him. Too well, actually. Lashing out at the only person who's there and helping is the typical thing one does. But I'm pretty sure he knew even in his drunken condition that his actions and tries to force himself on Ahsoka were wrong. Not that the knowledge was really consciously there to use but it was there. I think some of his reaction after she told him off was already based on that knowledge, he's just not in the state of mind to realize it yet or to admit that him wanting Ahsoka would have been just like another variant of alcohol. Only this one would not end with an hangover but with him loosing the last person he still has.
Ahsoka - these thoughts ... I love Rex as the perfect and rational friend in here, she needs someone like him. But Ahsoka, ignore much of the stuff Anakin says when he blames you, he doesn't mean it anyway. It is right to hold him of distance for now, first you don't deserve to be a substitute, second he would be even more unhappy as soon as he checks what he's done.
And I'm most unhappy that Rex and the 501st are sent away with WINDU. They didn't deserve this. Really.
Oh, I'm saying oh to both of them, trust me lol. Yes, I realize now that dark probably wasn't the correct term to use involving Jedi because it implies dark side/sith. And it could still come to that. But I meant in mainly as in dealing with dark themes and difficult elements of life.
Yes, Anakin knows what he's doing is wrong, but he's not thinking clearly because he's just trying to escape the pain. And he truly does love Ahsoka, and she's the main reason he did choose to come back, but he's still thinking selfishly about everything and not aware that he's causing her so much turmoil. Mentally, he just doesn't really care about the consequences at the moment, which could end up badly backfiring on him.
And Ahsoka, she knows something is really wrong, she knows she might not be able to help him. But she also loves him too much to just let him run off with no one to watch out for him so, she's trying to hold him together while also struggling to hold herself together too. She wants to believe it's not directed at her, but it still hurts to hear it.
They'll get on the same page... hopefully...
Yeah I agree with the 501st, but I needed Obi wan to still be around for the next part XD
I have to disagree with you on one thing. Anakin isn't selfish right now. In his position there is only his pain and that is all that matters. And this is right, because up to this point he hasn't had the chance to talk about it and to do something against the pain. Yes, I know, he doesn't talk about it as well, but I doubt that he's able to do so. To really be selfish he's got to get outside of his own pain and act selfish after he's out of it. Right now he can't think clearly enough to realize what his actions do to others or if he might seem selfish to others. I also don't think that he doesn't care about his actions. All of this is outside his pain. The bad thing is that in this thinking you also know what's right or wrong, somehow you even know that you hurt someone. But in that situation all that counts is your pain, your suffering. I don't know how to explain that, I don't even know how to explain that to others in my language. But ... it's like he's in a bubble full of pain. Outside is Ahsoka. The bubble has thicker parts and thinner parts who he could break. But it takes effort and strength to find and break through the thinner stuff and that takes time.
Ahsoka has just to be there and ignore most of his words. It's hard and it hurts and really, she's got no teachings about this (actually, no-one who's never been in that situation has and someone who grew up among Jedi... )
Don't tell me that Obi-Wan finds the last two brain cells that have something like compassion, understanding an love and get them to meet at the same place?
I see your point. I'm not sure that I meant he was in fact acting selfish or rather that that was how it was being interpreted by Ahsoka and everyone else. I realize he's not mentally in a good place and that he can't see past his own pain. It's a difficult thing to write because I genuinely do see both sides of what's going on. I know from first hand experience how hard it is to think about or care about other people's feelings or how your behavior is affecting them when you're fighting your own suffering. It's not a fun place to be, and Anakin is a very extreme case of it. But I also know exactly what it's like to be in Ahsoka's position too, when you care so much about someone, you want to fix it for them, but they make you feel like everything you're doing is wrong. That their behavior makes you question that you made the right choices and very easily come to believe that person IS acting selfishly even if they're not mentally in a place to actually choose selfishness. I also know very well what it's like to put your own pain aside as though it's unimportant and that is equally as terrible. So either way, yes, it's not a good place for either of them to be, which is why I mentioned in the summary it could very easily be something that makes or breaks them.
Because in all honesty, the problem isn't love. It's obvious they still love each other despite the loss, despite what happened and the horrible things being thrown around. But in order to heal, they both have to give a little. He has to break out of that bubble and she has to stand up for herself and not let him run right over her. Since one of my favorite things about this pairing is the fact that they can usually do that and be supportive of each other, I imagine that will ultimately be the end result. But it will be very difficult to get there.
As for Obi wan... yeah I have a lot of issues with him. I know that he genuinely cares for Anakin in spite of his preachy holier than thou tendencies about the Jedi code and attachments. But I also know that when it comes down to it, he chooses the Jedi code over any feelings he truly has or even if he knows it's not really the right thing to do. I don't know if he does this out of fear, I'm not even really sure why. Personally I kind of suspect that he was so ingrained in the Jedi way of life that maybe deep down he doesn't really think it's possible to exist outside their teachings (at least not in a good way). I mean, look at the way they teach how very normal things like emotions can lead to the dark side. It's not emotions that lead to the dark side, it's the inability to cope with those emotions. But in trying to teach people NOT to fear, they create more fear. Which is why Anakin teaching Ahsoka to process her emotions (despite his own inability to handle his), is I believe, the main reason she survives. Not fearing them means she can process them and stay far more level-headed than most. Obviously she's not perfect at that, but fear doesn't make her quite as irrational as it makes the others. So big major kudos to Anakin for 100% recognizing the true problem with the Order and the Jedi code, even if it wasn't enough to save himself.
The beauty in this story, at least how I see it, is that as painful and tragic as some of the parts are, Anakin taught her enough for her to be able to now support him. It doesn't mean it will be easy, but her ability to utilize his teachings to turn around and help him is something I love so so much about them. But she also has feelings too, and though she can forgive a lot of the things he says or does at any given time, she does need to stand up for herself too. And maybe she needs to help him poke those bubbles rather than tiptoe around him.
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