121 - 140 of 92,645 Bookmarked Items in Crack Treated Seriously
Navigation
List of Bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Draco Malfoy has three excellent reasons to get sloshed- a father who won't accept him, a Harry Potter he can't stop crushing on and that damned hippogriff that tried to eat him. And he is going to tell them what's what, because clearly that is a good idea. Fortunately, his new muggle friend seems to have a beef with Potter too.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,428
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 305
- Kudos:
- 8,021
- Bookmarks:
- 1,880
- Hits:
- 73,742
-
Tags
Summary
“Sit still, will you?” Robert chides, oil dripping from the metal tongs as he clicks them conversationally. “They’re almost done.”
Robert Robertson braces a casual hand on his hip as he flips the last sizzling disk of pepperoni cooking over Chad’s tits.
Chad, Flambae, reformed supervillain and currently being used as a cast iron skillet, bites back a strangled noise as the metal scrapes against sensitive skin; hot grease making it a smooth glide as his pecs glisten like they’ve been polished.
“This… is so fucking weird.” He breathes, the back of his head thumping against the countertop. “You’re a goddamn pervert, Bob Bob.”
“You can say that again.” Robert agrees easily, staring down at the man pliant beneath him with mock confusion. “But, remind me, who’s the pervert who agreed to do it with me on a Saturday afternoon?”
-----
Robert cooks and eats sausage off of Flambae boobs and I am definitely going to dog hell.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,491
- Chapters:
- 1/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 5
- Kudos:
- 24
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 240
-
A Voice in Someone's Head by Aumica
Fandoms: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan
17 Aug 2024
Tags
Summary
“…It’s wrong.”
“…Excuse me?”
Kim Rok Soo has been in this office for the past 15 minutes and this was their first conversation.
“Everything is wrong because of you right now, young man.”
“…I’m sorry?”
The god behind the counter sighs as Kim Rok Soo hesitantly offers his apologies even though he’s not even sure what the heck was happening here, and he puts a hand on his temple.
---
Or the Fic wherein Kim Rok Soo dies at the wrong time and reunites with his friends under the God of Death's special privilege employment, Cale Henituse ends up regressing instead (and cursing the god of death at being scammed), and Choi Han, fresh out of Harris Village's massacre, wonders if he's finally lost it as he hears a voice in his head claiming to be the assistant of the God of Death.
-
Bookmark Notes:
6
Chaos
-
Tags
Summary
"I will kill Voldemort, and I want you to help me."
Riddle raised an eyebrow, Harry leant forward with pleading eyes. This was his favourite Professor, the one who had helped him when others had refused to, and the one who he thought he could trust with his life.
(Or, Harry asks Professor Riddle for help in killing Voldemort, Riddle is endlessly amused.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,675
- Chapters:
- 18/?
- Comments:
- 348
- Kudos:
- 1,803
- Bookmarks:
- 557
- Hits:
- 44,719
-
Bookmark Tags:
-
Bookmark Notes:
18
-
Tags
Summary
„Yeah … about that …“ Jean is glaring down at his phone like it is covered in slugs, lips curled downwards. „Kevin texted. He is bringing Neil Josten with him.“
„What?“ Jeremy blinks, taken aback. „Why?“
Jean shrugs, shoulders stiff. „He didn’t say. Just ...“ he hands his phone over, opened to a thread of messages. The last one is from an hour earlier. Jean had asked about the time Kevin’s flight comes in, the answer is a curt
Saturday, 2.30pm. Neil is coming too.
Or, Two ex-Ravens, a Fox and a Trojan meet up for Vacation. They have a lot of things to work through, but maybe it will turn out better than they expect.
Series
- Part 1 of Brighter Days
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,684
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 104
- Kudos:
- 761
- Bookmarks:
- 159
- Hits:
- 14,319
-
Tags
Summary
They had everything one could desire: beauty, wealth, love, and the city of Paris at their feet.
But beneath the glass walls and diamond smiles, Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste are still hiding the same secret that once saved the world.
When one accidental discovery threatens to shatter their perfect facade, love turns into a dangerous game of masks, guilt, and miracles.
Because even the most beautiful couples can fall apart.
And sometimes... perfection is just their little catastrophe.
SMUT CAN BE SKIPPED! -
Adventurers Shouldn’t Dream of Lewd Elves by Weebtactics
Fandoms: ダンジョンに出会いを求めるのは間違っているだろうか | DanMachi | Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? (Anime)
06 Dec 2025
Tags
Summary
Bell knew little of the world and of what it is to be an Adventurer in Orario. All he ever heard about was stories and legends of it from his grandfather. Along with his rather lewd and perverted remarks and demands to get a Harem.
Bell sought out to explore it on his own since he was new and wanted a fresh perspective of things. But it seems, he can’t escape the rumors and talks of such lewd topics.
He was however, curious and dragged into one that caught his ears. About Elves. His interests keen in when overhearing some Adventurers discussing rather deeply and the questions still lingered in his mind.
Do Elven women wear nothing underneath their clothes? Do they go commando or half? Are they secretly related to Amazon women?
So many questions and debates he overhears often, lead Bell to ask a question himself that sparked much curiosity now to float around the sea of rumors and debates:
“Are Elven Women Lewd?”
A question he blurted out of innocent curiosity and bad influence, would be something he would discover on his own. -
Holy Coincidence, Officer Grayson! by misskitka
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), DCU
15 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
All he heard was a quiet sigh before the man behind him spoke again, “Ok, I’m gonna get us out of here. Everyone stay calm. I’m a police officer, I’m trained for situations like this.”
The man behind him continued but Jason stopped listening after that sentence. He had recognized that voice. It was a voice he'd known for years. One that was also attached to a police officer that he’d been lightly stalking these past few months.
“Dick?”-
aka Jason has only been back in Gotham for a few weeks but, somehow, manages to end up in the back of a van tied to Dick Grayson.
Series
- Part 17 of A Single Dad Who Works Two Jobs
-
Bookmark Notes:
可爱
-
Bookmark Collections:
-
Kishiar did what?- by KateinaVodkov5
Fandoms: Turning | 쿠유 - Kuyu (Webnovel), Turning - 쿠유 | Kuyu (Webcomic)
08 Oct 2025
Tags
Summary
Yuder was feeling quite off for some time now. But it probably wasn't anything anyway and they had more important things to worry about anyway.
Except that it was.
And his older brother Enon and (his future older brother-in-law) Keilusa weren't exactly happy about it. (They were - but they were also angry at Kishiar and the bad timing)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,834
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 80
- Kudos:
- 353
- Bookmarks:
- 55
- Hits:
- 4,103
-
Tags
Summary
In hindsight, Dick shouldn’t have begun impersonating Bruce for Justice League meetings.
Yes, Bruce had given Dick permission to go in his place as a proxy, but really, it was his fault for assuming that Dick was going to attend as Nightwing. But then Jason found out, and then Tim joined in, then Steph, Cass and Damian, but hell, what else was he supposed to do? Leave them out of the most elaborate hoax in Robin history?
At first it was hilarious, one-upping the core members of the JL, but it’s been years and they’re all in too deep now.
Or; a Batfamily reveal fic with a twist
Series
- Part 9 of fueled by coffee, spite and kirby music
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,854
- Chapters:
- 3/4
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 316
- Kudos:
- 3,556
- Bookmarks:
- 712
- Hits:
- 25,430
-
Bookmark Notes:
XD (also the mask in tims first batman suit will work perfectly)
-
Bookmark Tags:
-
Tim Drake and the Case of the Alarmingly (NOT) Normal Guy by WindyEngel
Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Batman - All Media Types
15 May 2025
Tags
Summary
Steph: All I’m saying is, if you ever want to kiss the guy, maybe stop digging through his trash.
Tim: I literally said he might turn into a rogue! How does that translate to "I want to kiss him," Steph?
Steph: I dont know, maybe the eighteen minutes you spent talking about his eyes?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,338
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 583
- Kudos:
- 2,539
- Bookmarks:
- 708
- Hits:
- 30,463
-
Bookmark Tags:
-
Tags
Summary
Luffy gasps delightedly, head wiping around to stare up at Whitebeard with wide, excited eyes. “Ace tried to kill you too?!” he shouts. Behind him, the party doesn’t necessarily stop so much as pause, focusing in on the growing spectacle before them. Oblivious, Luffy continues on. “How long?”
Whitebeard looks down at the young pirate captain that’s practically vibrating in place. Then he looks to the blond revolutionary that is also staring up at him, gaze considering and keen. Then to his second division commander who now has his face in his hands, ears red where they poke out of his hair. Finally, he glances at the rest of his children, out of loop and confused, yet intrigued, nonetheless.
...
..
.
Or, Ace dies (of embarrassment), Sabo is the dramatic middle child, Luffy is having a blast, and everyone else is just along for the ride.
-
OR, The family reunion fic that Oda was too much of a coward to give us.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,771
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 85
- Kudos:
- 6,347
- Bookmarks:
- 1,599
- Hits:
- 42,654
-
lust of the mind by anaer
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
06 Nov 2023
Tags
Summary
When he spoke, it was in a terrible falsetto: a purposely bad impression of Suguru. “Oh, Satoru, sorry about harassing your students and declaring war; I was in a bad mood. Let me buy you some apology mochi so we can talk this out.” His flat expression grew, somehow, even more unimpressed.
Suguru laughed. "You’re the one who was dumb enough to fall for it.”
No, he hadn’t fallen for it. He wasn’t stupid. That was the most obvious bullshit he’d ever seen through, so obvious that he couldn’t help his curiosity. He’d just needed to see what Suguru could possibly be up to. Where he had been stupid?
“You drugged me.”
Yeah, he shouldn’t have eaten the mochi.
or: Geto finds a different use for the black rope the night of the Night Parade.
-
helping the world via murder, a guide by your local reformed terrorist by RK7200
Fandoms: Naruto, 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
14 Oct 2025
Tags
Summary
Cursed spirits are usually born knowing what they were supposed to do, apparently.
"Apparently" is pretty dubious because Obito was not exactly born but more like spat out of death's stomach with absolutely no idea of what to do next.
On the upside (more like downside) there's a Kakashi-look alike with a god complex and Obito really wants to fist fight god.
or:
There's a new curse that Gojo Satoru has the perfect conspiracy theory for. (To be fair, no one takes interdimensional ninja into account.)
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 345,842
- Chapters:
- 66/?
- Collections:
- 67
- Comments:
- 14,612
- Kudos:
- 18,818
- Bookmarks:
- 4,510
- Hits:
- 908,467
-
Bookmark Notes:
Chpt 25
-
Bookmark Collections:
-
Wait, You're Telling Me Wolfie is WHO?! by wheatbreadslice
Fandoms: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
23 Sep 2021
Tags
Summary
Twilight is tired of being nice. Well, not really, but peer pressure is a wonderful tool. Especially when it helps convince the local rancher to be irresponsible and as un-Timely as possible.
In which Twilight tells everyone he's Wolfie, but doesn't quite tell them which of the others know he's Wolfie...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,652
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 63
- Kudos:
- 1,172
- Bookmarks:
- 241
- Hits:
- 7,092
-
Tags
Summary
ANBU Captain Uchiha Itachi had things well planned out, until a medic-nin with ridiculous hair went and made herself interesting. Sakura insisted she was just doing her job, but Itachi didn't quite see it that way.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 163,687
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 374
- Kudos:
- 3,374
- Bookmarks:
- 1,359
- Hits:
- 104,680
-
Tags
Summary
The presence of a foreign soul may have unexpected side effects on a growing child. I am Lord Volde...Harry Potter. I'm Harry Potter. In which Harry is insane, Hermione is a Dark Lady-in-training, Ginny is a minion, and Ron is confused.
Series
- Part 1 of Seventh Horcrux & Related Works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 98,866
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 424
- Kudos:
- 3,071
- Bookmarks:
- 1,472
- Hits:
- 141,656
-
Bookmark Notes:
Fun Crack fic
-
Bookmark Collections:
-
Calling it a 'Quirk' is Fucking Dumb by CallaGenji
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)
02 Dec 2025
Tags
Summary
So here's the thing: let it be known that Robert Robertson the III is not a quitter. Despite life seeming to only know how to punch down on him, he continues to crawl forward.
He has hunted down Shroud for over fifteen years, he had rebuilt the Mecha Suit, and he managed, quite literally, the worst possible team in all of California.
But this? This might be his breaking point.
TLDR; Someone voluntold Robert to be shipped off to Japan to teach a bunch of kids. Robert and Z-Team are not okay with this.
-
Extremely HOT Disaster: Nothing beats the heat like an ice cold treat! by FanTrashStick (CorpsCommand2020)
Fandoms: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan, Extreme Cold Disaster: Hot Spring Street Simulation Management
08 Dec 2025
Tags
Summary
A scorched earth apocalypse game system descends upon the world of TBOAH. All natural water dried up, simple sun exposure could kill an unprotected person in a matter of minutes! As if that wasn’t enough, the game setting unleashed even more viscous monsters too!
All people are converted into players in this game world, forced to play by the new rules of gathering points and completing quests, or suffer a painful death at the hands of the system’s cruel environmental settings-
Wait, what the hell? Who is this person playing a simulation management game in the middle of this hellscape???
TLDR:
KRS: *opens a shaved ice shop in the middle of the desert.*Everyone: …
Everyone: …
Everyone: !!!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,775
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 133
- Kudos:
- 212
- Bookmarks:
- 40
- Hits:
- 1,955
-
Tags
Summary
Obi-Wan is ferried down to the planet Galidraan with the rest of the Mandalorians on board the ship. He's faced with the cold, the evil, and the downright terrifying. Luckily, this time, he's got people in his corner who won't let him explore it alone. Still, something feels off about this place..
He intends to find out why.
OR
How Obi-Wan saves a creed.
(I made a tumblr account for the art. Still updating! https://www.tumblr.com/royalchili)
Series
- Part 3 of The Little Viper
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 117,680
- Chapters:
- 45/45
- Comments:
- 1,449
- Kudos:
- 2,045
- Bookmarks:
- 395
- Hits:
- 77,132
-
Bookmark Notes:
Chp28