1 - 20 of 61 Bookmarks by FreudianSlaps
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“I don’t want your pity,” Shane says, and his voice holds more venom than she probably deserves.
“For god's sake, Shane,” she says. “Do you know how many fucking blueberries I have to harvest next week? If I don’t get help, they’re gonna rot on the vine and I’m going to lose my shit.”
With Joja run out of town, Shane takes a job as a farmhand on Riley's farm. His limited social skills just don't always extend to her new boyfriend.Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
07 Mar 2026
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An in depth exploration of Halsin's time in the Underdark, that he briefly alludes to in Sharess' Caress.
Series
- Part 1 of The Glance of a Curious sort of Bird
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
10 Jul 2025
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Tav meets his wood elf again, in the most haphazard of circumstances. But Halsin is not the same.
Series
- Part 2 of The Glance of a Curious sort of Bird
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
10 Jul 2025
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There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargain, depression, and acceptance.
In some ways, it made sense that Kabru went over those stages when he started to acknowledge his attraction to Laios, it was, after all, the death of his dignity and self respect.
He did want to fuck Laios, but he also had to be realistic, and the reality was that Laios was probably horrible in bed.Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
01 Jun 2024
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But Once In A While, I Wish You Would Tell Me If You Even Care by Trashass
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
11 Mar 2024
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Five times Jack and Izzy pretended to be in a relationship for free food and one time they realized they actually wanted to be in a relationship
Series
- Part 9 of CJizzy Week
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,759
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 63
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 271
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
12 Mar 2024
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took aim with a turned back by thesoulundone for wrizard
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Sep 2022
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He's frightened, Izzy realises. Genuinely afraid of Edward, of what this means, of what Ed might decide to fucking do about it. Izzy's seen him when things get the better of him - temper or melancholy or prickling unease - and it never ends well for anyone in earshot. So it's normal, in the circumstances - the fucking horrific circumstances, of fucking Ed's best mate when he knows full well how fucking weird Ed is about Izzy fucking anyone at all - to be frightened.
But that's not all it is. Izzy is also, he realises, really fucking turned on.
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College boys getting into, and out of trouble.
Series
- Part 1 of made a mess of a small success
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
21 Sep 2022
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in the end, I'd do it all again by sugarybowl, wishingonalightningbolt
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
08 Sep 2022
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“How’d you know?” Izzy growls up at him, hoping it’s literally anything other than the fact that he’s that pathetic.
“Iz, it’s us, baby! You show up in a horny rage every time something good happens in Ed’s life, we fuck, you clear out, I see you the next time! Lucky me, I keep up with Ed’s socials so I can get ready for you, babe, but I was busy this time.”
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Izzy turns up at Jack’s place for a distraction. Learning about Jack’s son forces him to reevaluate the way he sees one of his oldest friends.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,983
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 113
- Kudos:
- 535
- Bookmarks:
- 139
- Hits:
- 4,639
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
20 Sep 2022
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- Words:
- 235,216
- Works:
- 15
- Bookmarks:
- 58
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
19 Jul 2022
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Izzy gets wrecked by CloudsPassMeBy
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV), Starstruck (Comics), What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
11 Dec 2022
- Words:
- 247,012
- Works:
- 69
- Bookmarks:
- 123
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
19 Jul 2022
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Lucius has an arrangement with a strange, rich, and deeply-closeted man named Izzy Hands. Izzy pays his rent, let's him buy things on his credit card, and occasionally asks Lucius to come over for sex. It's the perfect arrangement. And Lucius will NOT mess it up with any sort of emotional attachment, thank you very much.
The sugar daddy AU nobody asked for.
Series
- Part 1 of Money Can(t) Buy Happiness
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
10 Jul 2022
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Izzy hides Lucius after Blackbeard returns.
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i cheated myself (like i knew i would) by plutoandpersephone
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
16 Apr 2022
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Izzy Hands is in love with Blackbeard. Lucius works it out.
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
27 Apr 2022
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Izzy’s the kind of man who needs a captain.
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
25 Apr 2022
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Jacob Wrestles With Comedy Tropes by DictionaryWrites
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 Apr 2022
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Israel: From the Hebrew name יִשְׂרָאֵל (Yisra'el) meaning "God contends", from the roots שָׂרָה (sarah) meaning "to contend, to fight" and אֵל ('el) meaning "God". In the Old Testament, Israel (who was formerly named Jacob; see Genesis 32:28) wrestles with an angel.
I see your "Izzy Hands is the only human in an all-Muppet TV show" and your "Izzy Hands is trapped in the wrong genre" and I raise you: Izzy Hands is the unwitting victim of a cosmic shift of the very rules of reality, now applying sitcom rules to his life instead of the real life ones that had governed him beforehand. This is, for him, horrifying in the manner of anything Eldritch and incomprehensible.For the rest of the crew, it just seems like First Mate Hands is having a bit of a breakdown, and they really wish he'd stop.
For Izzy, this is existential horror at its worst - for the reader, dark comedy. I just love to make him suffer.
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
24 Apr 2022
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give me hands to hold (give me skin to taste) by greyduckgreygoose for wicked_socks
Fandoms: Original Work
10 Sep 2021
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Nazim was just a friendly neighbor who “fed” Fig when he needed it with platonic skin-to-skin contact. Sometimes, this required Nazim to spoon Fig from behind as they watched movies together on the couch or for them to hold hands as Fig accompanied Nazim on his errands. But that was as far as it went, even though Nazim quietly burned inside with his embarrassing, hopeless desire.
It was just the natural reaction to an incubi, he always told himself. But Fig had never come to him for more than cuddles and companionship, and Nazim respected that.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,122
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 687
- Bookmarks:
- 118
- Hits:
- 5,659
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
29 Sep 2021
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Relocation by oilslurp
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski, The Witcher (TV)
16 Oct 2020
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“What do you mean you didn’t come prepared to the Skelligan medieval history conference to get laid, what the fuck?”
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Jaskier hooks up with a stranger due to a flight cancellation and some extremely (un?)fortunate timing on booking a hotel room.
Series
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
29 Sep 2021
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When Geralt finds himself in Hagge, he's very nearly escorted out of the local brothel until one of the prostitutes seeks him out.
OR
Geralt falls for a prostitute and doesn't realize until he's in far too deep.|| now complete
Series
- Part 1 of Good as Gold
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 89,884
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,289
- Kudos:
- 3,219
- Bookmarks:
- 674
- Hits:
- 75,268
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
02 Mar 2021
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out in the pouring rain (down on your knees) by SummerFrost
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
03 Nov 2020
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Summary
"Hello, Julian," Yennefer says coolly. "Listen carefully. We are only having this conversation because it’d make Geralt happy and I'm the best wife in the fucking world. You and I should have sex."
Jaskier says, "I'm going to need you to elaborate."
Or: Geralt's biggest fantasy is to watch someone else fuck his wife. What kind of best friend would Jaskier be if he didn't lend a hand?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 44,609
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 294
- Kudos:
- 3,567
- Bookmarks:
- 1,011
- Hits:
- 37,127
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
27 Feb 2021
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The first time Valdo Marx sends assassins after Jaskier, Geralt doesn’t even notice.
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
10 Oct 2020
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Big Enough To Fill You Up by oilslurp
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski, The Witcher (TV)
08 Aug 2020
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If Geralt won't fuck Jaskier, then Eskel will.
Chapter 2.5: *its always sunny title card* Jaskier continues to be fucking gay
Bookmarked by FreudianSlaps
23 Jul 2020