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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya’s brows quirked again, and he flicked open the first page of the textbook, ‘and you decided to learn Russian now because...?’

    ‘Because I married a Russian man, and I figured it was about time I learned.’

    ‘You never learned with me.’ Ilya said.

    ‘No.’ Shane replied, tersely, ‘there was a lot I never did with you.’

    Or: Shane has the perfect husband, amazing friends and a life envied by everyone who knows him. It’s a slight inconvenience when his new Russian tutor just happens to be his ex boyfriend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,009
    Chapters:
    3/13
    Comments:
    98
    Kudos:
    289
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    5,790

    21 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane has been hiding his designation for his entire NHL career. It's been hard, but its been worth it.

    Then a single moment makes everything come tumbling down.

    (Updates on Tuesdays)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,256
    Chapters:
    8/12
    Comments:
    696
    Kudos:
    1,659
    Bookmarks:
    478
    Hits:
    27,011

    19 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “They tell me he is learning to walk again,” a shirtless Rozanov says to the semi-circle of microphones in front of him, hands on his hips, still damp and flushed and riding that victory high. “Is good news, but little children can walk. I am interested when he will learn to skate again.”

    After suffering a career-ending injury, Shane Hollander is struggling to connect with the world. Ilya Rozanov is more than happy to help in the only way he knows.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,971
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    152
    Kudos:
    504
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    9,384

    15 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Ilya, what are we gonna do?” Shane says.

    Ilya finishes whatever he has been doing on his phone, and tosses it gently to the bed beside him. He crosses the room to Shane, stands in front of him, squeezes into his shoulders with his big hands, rubbing them like he means to warm them up.

    “Looks like we will have a little vacation,” he says, with a big obnoxious grin.

     


     

    Boston and Montreal are sent to Paris to play against each other in an exhibition series in January 2017. Ilya and Shane decide to stay in Paris for one more night. Just one more night, so they can talk. Maybe finally understand each other.

    They aren't expecting a volcano to erupt in Iceland and close all the airspace in Europe, leaving them stranded there. Together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,176
    Chapters:
    10/14
    Comments:
    1,163
    Kudos:
    3,315
    Bookmarks:
    1,746
    Hits:
    87,152

    14 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya widens his eyes, moves his hands in an impatient “get on with it” motion. He has the urge to say it for him, end both their misery. Shane blinks rapidly a few times, takes another deep breath. “I want to stop,” he says simply.

    Ilya lets out one humorless laugh, “Stop what?”

    Shane ignores him. “At the All Star Game, I told you I liked you. And you said about Russia and your family. And I looked some things up. I get it. I get it better now. I know we can’t but I can’t stop wanting to be…more. Unless we stop.”

    OR

    Shane just wants to be friends and Ilya is, like, fine with that or whatever

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,096
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    639
    Kudos:
    1,649
    Bookmarks:
    686
    Hits:
    34,017

    12 May 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    2014: Ilya Rozanov shocks the world and breaks Shane Hollander’s heart by disappearing without explanation, and without a goodbye kiss.

    2024: A devastating injury forces Shane to retire early, so he moves to a small town to coach girls hockey and figure out what the hell to do with the rest of his life.

    When recently divorced Ilya Rozanov walks into the rink with his twin girls, Shane has to decide if he’s brave enough to risk a second chance on a broken heart, and a rekindled romance with the first and only boy he ever loved.

    ***

    “So.” Ilya cleared his throat. “Should we tell the girls their Papa and their coach used to date?”

    “We didn’t date. We hooked up a few times, then you disappeared.” Shane looked away to hide his heartbreak as he lied, “It doesn’t even matter. It’s not like I loved you or anything.”

    “No, of course not.” Ilya tried to smile through a lie of his own, “I didn’t love you either.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    250,020
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    7,435
    Kudos:
    14,829
    Bookmarks:
    5,905
    Hits:
    674,441

    11 May 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    No matter how many times they meet and his eyes flicker with dim recognition, whether it’s at the dive bar on Beacon Street or the French cafe near TD Garden, she wonders which will happen first: Ilya Rozanov realizing she’s twins with the guy he’s been hooking up with since his rookie season, or that he’s in love with said guy.

    Of course, she also feels the same curiosity every time Shane tells her he has to end it, only to fall right back into Rozanov’s lap.

    Boys are so dumb, honestly. It’s a shame she’s quite fond of them both.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    120,852
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    819
    Kudos:
    2,108
    Bookmarks:
    677
    Hits:
    60,513

    06 May 2026

  8. Public Bookmark 33

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    Summary

    “Do you think you can love two people at once?” Shane asked his mom in a moment of weakness, when they were wrapping up a call about a prospective brand deal. He should have been on his laptop looking at numbers on spreadsheets and coordinating his calendar which was already so full he could tell you exactly what he would be doing half a year from now down to the half hour. Instead, he was laying on his bed with his phone pressed up against his ear and his eyes closed counting imaginary stars in a bright night sky. He should go to sleep soon.

    Or, Shane embarks on casual sex with yet another Russian.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,116
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    145
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    1,062

    28 Apr 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The week before the 2017 All-Star Game, Ilya Rozanov is placed on IR. Ten days later, he disappears from the league entirely. Boston says nothing, and for once, a notoriously fickle league closes ranks.

    Every attempt Shane makes to find him hits a wall. In one last desperate, life-altering bid to reach him, Shane comes out to the world, only to be met with Ilya’s silence.

    By the time the 2020/21 season begins, Shane has nothing left but hockey and regret. He builds a dynasty, guts his life, and pins the last scraps of his hope on the Metros’ newest transfer, the dangerously hot-headed Cliff Marlow.

    Stepping back into the public eye after the worst three years of his life, all Ilya wants is to find some kind of purpose. Shane is done with him, he made that much clear. Ilya isn't about to try to convince himself otherwise. He just wants to prove he still has some use left in him.

    Fortunately for both of them, they're still fucking stupid for each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    127,268
    Chapters:
    21/34
    Comments:
    5,299
    Kudos:
    5,923
    Bookmarks:
    2,533
    Hits:
    209,211

    27 Apr 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    I feel like he truly only likes me for my ass, Shane thinks. But thankfully, there’s just enough of his brain-to-mouth filter still working well enough to translate that to, “I feel like she truly only likes me for my dick. But maybe I wanna cuddle after or some shit. Is that a crime?”

    “Absolutely not, Hollander. You should get all the cuddles you want after a good fuck.” Cliff raises his glass and winks.

    He can't believe he's really just talking to Rozanov’s teammate and friend about him. Not that he knows it’s about Rozanov, but still. 

    Shane's never having vodka ever again. But for now, he’ll let it lower his inhibitions—if only to get all of this off his chest. Maybe then it’d stop fucking aching.

    shane strikes up an unlikely friendship with cliff marleau after he walks out of ilya’s penthouse suite in vegas feeling worthless. it’s all fairly innocent at first, until a threesome with shane and a woman awakens something in cliff that he’s never even thought about before. he confides in ilya without revealing who his secret gay awakening was, but ilya connects the dots anyway and goes on a jealous rampage before finally confronting his feelings for shane.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,530
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    659
    Kudos:
    1,424
    Bookmarks:
    441
    Hits:
    26,384

    25 Apr 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov came to Duke University with a plan: to win a championship, get drafted as the #1 pick in the NBA, then leave Duke and become an NBA Hall of Famer.

    Everything is going according to plan.

    Well. Was. It was going to plan.

    Because he meets Shane Hollander, and suddenly all he can think about is his freckles and how to steal him from his stupid boyfriend, who also happens to be Ilya's teammate.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,070
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    553
    Kudos:
    4,843
    Bookmarks:
    1,192
    Hits:
    72,566

    24 Apr 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In Vegas, after they’d said everything right up to the edge of I love you, Shane and Ilya came up with a plan. It was long term, with many, many steps. There might be a spreadsheet somewhere that Shane won’t admit to.

    But it’s a plan, nonetheless. Over the summer of 2014, they tweak it and add things important to the both of them. There are even many, extensive, contingency plans.

    OR

    Thanks to Shane's small lie the first time they hooked up, Shane and Ilya are together years earlier. Now, they have to figure out what to do about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,714
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    21
    Comments:
    4,167
    Kudos:
    20,542
    Bookmarks:
    5,876
    Hits:
    383,264

    19 Apr 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    All it takes is one principled stand for Shane Hollander's life to completely unravel.

    As he tries to untangle the thread, he finds that every end leads back to Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,035
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    560
    Kudos:
    1,137
    Bookmarks:
    399
    Hits:
    30,251

    16 Apr 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    When you’re going up in flames, sometimes other people can smell the smoke. On the flip side, at least: when you’re on fire, sometimes other people can feel the warmth.

    Or, scenes from Home Economics, told from the perspective of everyone else.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,161
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,404
    Kudos:
    9,239
    Bookmarks:
    2,142
    Hits:
    123,191

    14 Apr 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    His outstretched glove hangs there, frozen, as the noise of the arena mutates into a ringing buzz. Then he’s moving, pushed away by Marlow, and then Boston’s goalie. There’s a flurry of movement, a trainer with a towel, more blood dripping onto the ice, and he just. Stands there. Staring.

    Ilya is helped off the ice. Shane doesn’t even tap his stick.

    Remember when Sidney Crosby caught a puck with his jaw? That doesn't happen to Shane. That happens to Ilya.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,072
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    2,195
    Kudos:
    11,145
    Bookmarks:
    4,005
    Hits:
    273,878

    03 Apr 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Once is a mistake, twice is terrible judgment, three times is enemy action. After four times, it might just be something worse.

    OR

    What if Scott hooked up with Ilya during the summer of 2010 entirely by accident, then kept doing it on purpose.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    116,915
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    3,651
    Kudos:
    4,412
    Bookmarks:
    1,549
    Hits:
    117,593

    28 Mar 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “No one else knows of these,” Ilya tells him, and there it is, that glint of possessiveness in Hollander’s eyes. It makes Ilya’s head reel. And it is why he doesn’t hesitate to say, “I could mark you just like that. If you want.”

    “Would last longer than bruises,” Ilya continues. “Maybe forever.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,507
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Comments:
    374
    Kudos:
    1,196
    Bookmarks:
    408
    Hits:
    25,718

    26 Mar 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane heard the blade coming down right by his ear. The schlick of it as it sliced through the ice, echoing in the arena, the place eerily silent in a way Shane had never witnessed before.

    Then, a gasp.

    Or, Shane Hollander takes a blade to the throat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,026
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    483
    Kudos:
    11,650
    Bookmarks:
    2,754
    Hits:
    139,024

    25 Mar 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander is the best player in the league. That has never mattered less than it does under Ilya Rozanov, Team Canada's new coach for the 2014 Sochi Olympics.

    Shane grew up watching him, playing against him, idolising him in a way he didn't even realise. But as a coach, Shane hates him. He's cold, demanding, and impossible to please. But Rozanov pushes Shane harder than anyone ever has, and slowly his hate turns to obsession, competition to dependence. And Shane learns that their lessons come with a price: desire neither of them can afford.

    (OR the coach/player forbidden hollanov you've been waiting for ;) )

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,594
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    731
    Kudos:
    1,673
    Bookmarks:
    649
    Hits:
    47,672

    25 Mar 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander is tired of wanting someone he cannot have, and he’s dying as he waits for someone who will not stay. Someone who doesn’t want to stay, not when there are so many others waiting for him. Fun of another variety, Shane left a treat amongst many.

    It’s humiliating. It’s distracting. And it feels like shit.

    He wishes he could erase his feelings, move on as easily. In an effort to gain back control over the ‘situation’ that has become his romantic attraction to a notorious player, Shane attempts at imitating Ilya Rozanov’s methods until he perfects them and becomes as good as keeping it light and casual as his rival.

     

    Or Shane tries to Hoe Phase himself into a self discovery journey to choke and kill his feelings for Ilya Rozanov. Ilya is not the only who suffers from it, but he sure feels like he’s being choked and killed.

    ___
    Story ends after chapter 6 but I keep writing bonus because the hyper fixation doesn’t end.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,658
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    1,082
    Kudos:
    9,891
    Bookmarks:
    2,989
    Hits:
    234,096

    24 Mar 2026

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