Lana_the_llama
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The Family You Choose (is better?) by number1trashenthusiast
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
06 Dec 2025
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Summary
Lilith has returned. She has all the cards in her hands and Alastor's invisible leash wrapped around her perfect fingers - but no one who has played poker with Alastor would suggest counting him out before the game is over.
Alastor has faced some of the greatest evils that have ever existed - has stood firm in back alleys against overlords stronger than him, has several times dodged exorcist spears and even divine guitars.
He is NOT going to be defeated by a fucking HOTEL ROOM and the desperate housewife from HELL.
Alternative summary: Alastor spends a sizeable amount of time locked in single combat with a hotel room door, Vaggie grows as a person, Lucifer Morningstar is Very Concerned that his ex-wife and current-whatever may be getting along too well, Charlie spends a lot of time being confused, Frederick von Eldrich comes out of retirement with style, the Archangel Michael develops a headache, and Vox attempts to de-bug his conscience.
There are also copious musical references for no good reason whatsoever.
Series
- Part 2 of The Friends that Ruin You
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 178,673
- Chapters:
- 23/?
- Comments:
- 1,345
- Kudos:
- 1,421
- Bookmarks:
- 233
- Hits:
- 40,112
Bookmarked by Lana_the_llama
07 Dec 2025
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Summary
Alastor can admit, in the silence of his own head as he walks away from the first official overlord meeting since the Extermination Day that Wasn’t, that Charlie MIGHT have been right. He probably should have stayed home.
Not that he’d tell the girl that under pain of torture - that kind of hand-wringing and fretting wasn’t the sort of thing that should be encouraged in anyone, least of all the Princess of Hell.
Series
- Part 1 of The Friends that Ruin You
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 271,791
- Chapters:
- 40/40
- Comments:
- 1,849
- Kudos:
- 2,901
- Bookmarks:
- 537
- Hits:
- 95,105
Bookmarked by Lana_the_llama
06 Dec 2025
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Summary
Sinners are—complex souls, she thinks, to put it nicely. They’re traumatized and war torn and anguished in a way that winners aren’t because they’re—they’re safe in Heaven. Until recent events, they’ve never had to worry about things like exorcists, or walking down the street, or looking at someone the wrong way. And, well, in preparation for all the souls Charlie’s going to redeem, she’s realizing that—she has no idea how to make sinners happy, (and that’s kind of her whole job, so—that’s a problem).
And then—she meets Alastor. And if she knew then what she knows now, then, honestly, maybe she wouldn’t have gotten involved to begin with.
(Oh, who’s she kidding? She’d make the same deal every time.)
Bookmarked by Lana_the_llama
06 Dec 2025
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Summary
After the end, after Jayce joins him in the astral plane and destroys them both, Viktor wakes up alone.
He stays alone for a very long time.
Series
- Part 1 of Spin The Wheel
Bookmarked by Lana_the_llama
30 Nov 2025
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Summary
Waking up from a 600-year long cursed sleep—and finding his manor and town completely destroyed—inspires a lot of feelings in Scott. Anger. Vengefulness. Annoyance. Hatred. Insatiable hunger for human flesh and blood.
But more than anything, he is reallyyyyyy tired.
Too tired to bother with an elaborate song and dance with the human intruders in Oakhurst.
—
Or: Scott is 10% tireder when he wakes up from his slumber and doesn't hide that he's a vampire from the beginning.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,769
- Chapters:
- 8/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 392
- Kudos:
- 1,223
- Bookmarks:
- 233
- Hits:
- 13,006
Bookmarked by Lana_the_llama
27 Nov 2025