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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya started the list when he was seven years old. Then, it was a single sheet of lined paper, the header Потрясающие вещи written in blue marker. Potryasayushchiye veshchi. Brilliant things. Wonderful things, amazing things.

    The first few entries were easy. Simple.

    #1: Пломбир. [Ice cream.]
    #2: Собаки. [Dogs.]
    #3: Катание на коньках. [Ice skating.]
    #4: Жёлтый цвет. [The color yellow.]
    #5: Библиотекарь в школе. [The librarian at school.]

    - - -

    Ilya makes a list for his mother, a list of everything in the world that is brilliant. Of course, he didn't know then how it would continue to change his life more than twenty years later.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,239
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    113
    Kudos:
    434
    Bookmarks:
    169
    Hits:
    7,439

    04 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    After the Tuna Melt Incident, Shane and Ilya gradually started drifting apart. Texts became more scarce, hook-ups less frequent and feelings pushed aside until, in the moment of absolute panic, Shane ghosted Ilya fully.

    Now, three years later, Shane Hollander and Rose Landry are engaged. Shane's life finally seems to be going in the right direction. No distractions, great girl, lots of hockey.

    And then the new season starts and trades between teams happen.
    And Ilya Rozanov, whom Shane promised himself to forget, is suddenly on the same team.
    And, worst of all, he becomes the Alternate Captain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    292,171
    Chapters:
    33/?
    Comments:
    1,613
    Kudos:
    3,710
    Bookmarks:
    1,815
    Hits:
    209,251

    29 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Take it Easy on Me - Overstimulation & Emotional Intimacy

    Such a Loveable Lamb to Me - Pain Play & Love

    (Coming Soon) Shed Some Light on Me - Restraint & Commitment

    Words:
    37,132
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    273

    27 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    After leaving behind Russian Special Forces, former Spetsnaz operative Ilya Rozanov takes a job with Vetrov Private security hoping for a fresh start and a second chance. With high level skills and a keen eye, Ilya is tasked with protecting pop star Shane Hollander against a would-be murderer stalking him, leaving threatening messages. What starts off as a high profile, but routine job, quickly turns to more as Ilya gets to know Shane, and what lies beneath the glitzy surface of his A-list life. The Shane Hollander the world sees is charming, charismatic, perfect. The real Shane Hollander, Ilya learns, is so much more.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,340
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    590
    Kudos:
    1,472
    Bookmarks:
    401
    Hits:
    54,269

    24 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya wasn’t trying to kill himself that night. Suicide is something that belongs to his mother- he’s just lazy, and he wishes Shane would stop making excuses for him.

    Shane has everything under control. His body is a tool, the one that’s given him both his career and his relationship, and he wishes Ilya would stop prying into the way he maintains it.

    or: Ilya learns a whole lot more about his mother, Shane remembers a whole lot more about his childhood, and they both get diagnosed.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,425
    Chapters:
    6/18
    Comments:
    571
    Kudos:
    2,210
    Bookmarks:
    623
    Hits:
    39,839

    17 May 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Rozanov
    hello this is ilya rozanov

    Rozanov
    can you please stop with this

    Rozanov
    i am not homophobic

    Rozanov
    hollander is not homophobic 

    Rozanov
    you are making my life very hard🙄🙄

    Vaughny
    maybe u should stop being a homophobic asshole

    Scott
    Well, I’m glad to hear you’re not homophobic but I’d love to see some actual proof of that first.

    Rozanov
    i hate you both

    Rozanov
    one moment

    Rozanov
    i wanted to send picture of me fucking my boyfriend as proof

    Rozanov
    but he said no😣😣😣😣

    (after a misunderstanding, ilya is cancelled for being homophobic to scott hunter. when shane and ilya announce their friendship, shane is also cancelled for the association with a 'homophobe')

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,167
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    645
    Kudos:
    12,088
    Bookmarks:
    890
    Hits:
    53,544

    11 May 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Do you have a favorite song?”

    Of course he did. “Glisten.”

    Ilya hummed. Then he asked, in Russian, “And you understand all of the lyrics?”

    It took Shane a second for his brain to switch to Russian too, like he was buffering. “It's my favorite song for a reason.”

    Ilya blinked a few times. “Huh.” He seemed a little entranced.

    or

    Shane Hollander, a struggling photographer, is dragged along to Coachella where he gets to meet his all-time favorite artist: Ilya 'ROZ' Rozanov. What happens when Ilya asks for Shane's phone number and asks him to be his photographer? Is it everything Shane dreamed of, or is Ilya not who he thought he was?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,468
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    119
    Kudos:
    778
    Bookmarks:
    235
    Hits:
    10,982

    10 May 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane built his life on control—on routines so strict they left no room for anything real. What started as harmless discipline turned into something sharper, quieter, until even he couldn’t tell where the control ended and the damage began. By the time anyone noticed, Shane had already given up on himself.

    Ilya never believed in control to begin with. His world unraveled slower, heavier—until one night, he stopped trying to hold it together at all. When he wakes up in a hospital bed, broken but alive, the only thing he feels is anger that it didn’t work. Ilya has given up on life entirely.

    Against both their wishes, they’re sent to a remote rehab center and forced into the same room—two strangers with nothing in common but the ways they’re falling apart.

    As the walls between them slowly crack, anger turns into understanding, and silence into something softer. Because maybe, just maybe… you don’t have to want to be saved to start finding a reason to stay.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    115,783
    Chapters:
    39/?
    Comments:
    347
    Kudos:
    617
    Bookmarks:
    178
    Hits:
    20,593

    30 Apr 2026

  9. This has been deleted, sorry!

    23 Apr 2026

  10. This has been deleted, sorry!

    07 Apr 2026

  11. This has been deleted, sorry!

    07 Apr 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    This is a love letter to the all the millenials like me who played it too careful and forgot to enjoy our youth. Shane and Ilya, enjoy it for me, do good. Fuck it good, fuck it right. Life is too short to live it scared.

    The arena is too loud.
    That’s the first thing Shane notices; not the ice, not the lights, not the jersey on his shoulders that suddenly feels wrong in a way he can’t articulate. The sound hits him like pressure, like something physical, a wall of noise that vibrates in his chest.
    He’s already bent over for the faceoff when it hits him- skates set, stick down, weight forward. His body is exactly where it’s supposed to be even if his brain is still skidding uselessly, trying to catch traction.
    There’s only a split second before the puck drops.
    It stretches.
    He lifts his eyes.
    Ilya.
    Young. So fucking young. Is he dreaming? Not worn by years of hockey, travel, interviews and losses and victories that stack so high they blur together. He’s young again; sharp boned, bright eyed, unable to grow a beard to save his life. Bears black and gold instead of Centaurs red. 'If I look down am I going to be pantsless too?' He thought absently, no way this was real... right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,491
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    844
    Kudos:
    2,660
    Bookmarks:
    1,141
    Hits:
    65,794

    04 Apr 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane didn’t remember his first time skating, but he remembered when hockey became a career, when he became the vessel for his parents’ dreams, when his hockey ability came second to where his ancestors were born or who he loved, when he became a brand. Somewhere in these memories, though he couldn’t say exactly where, he learned to hide himself.

    And then, behind an arena in Regina, he met Ilya Rozanov, who managed to see him anyway. The hours they spent together each year became the only time Shane could breathe, until being apart felt like suffocating. But Shane had entered the hockey world with two strikes against him, and he couldn’t let Ilya become his third.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,213
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    252
    Bookmarks:
    127
    Hits:
    5,901

    04 Apr 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You’ll text when you land, right?” Shane asks as he takes an exit ramp labeled Airport Departures.

    “Yes. Promise.”

    “And you’ll call tonight?” Shane’s throat works over the words, like he still doesn’t trust this new thing between them. Ilya thinks he understands. He also doesn’t know how to trust this love. How can he when it has been trapped in his own heart so long. Neither of them know what the next year will bring. There is so much time before Ilya can have his agent, or his future agent, he will need a new one with no connections to Russia, reach out to Ottawa and hope that they’ll be interested in a future Hall of Fame center. The one thing Ilya is certain of is that he will do everything in his power to make their plan work. He spent his entire adult life lusting after, and then pining for Shane with his whole heart.

    “I will call.” Ilya reaches for the hand Shane has left on the gearshift and threads his fingers through his. He wants to say so much, but he has always been better with touch than words, especially when the only shared language was English. “We will talk every day.”

    Or, There is a year before Ilya can sign with Ottawa, Shane counts down the days until their forever.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    83,538
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    691
    Kudos:
    3,985
    Bookmarks:
    1,747
    Hits:
    142,127

    28 Mar 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander is stupid.

    Ilya didn’t know what Shane saw in him, but you can't just fall for a man you barely met. You can't just fall so deep and so quickly.

    Shane looked at him like devotion came naturally, like getting hurt was a price he was willing to pay. Ilya wanted to protect him from being hurt at all costs. But what if he was the one who did it?

    Shane went first in the draft, and then threw it away by choosing Ottawa.
    A bad team. A losing future. No Cups. No real rivalry.
    Ilya didn’t understand the decision. He refused to.

    Or.

    Shane got his second chance. This time, he refused to wait for years to get his Ilya. He had to take him fast, before depression or any other crap got him. But if he touched the timeline wrong—if anything went off-script—what did it cost?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,822
    Chapters:
    48/48
    Comments:
    5,334
    Kudos:
    6,253
    Bookmarks:
    1,923
    Hits:
    239,099

    27 Mar 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    A few seconds later, a news anchor’s voice grows to startling clarity. A clip plays of Rozanov shooting from the goal crease and making it into the net.
    “...Montreal Metros to acquire center Ilya Rozanov from the Boston Raiders for the upcoming season. The two teams have sustained a bitter rivalry for years, and it has only worsened worsened with Hollander and Rozanov’s participation. All of this makes the trade an unlikely one; however, it seems to be just the right time for the Metros to snag a star like Rozanov. After many lackluster performances from the Metros these past few months, it only makes sense…”
    The anchor continues as a clip of Rozanov from a post-game interview last year plays—he’s shirtless and sweaty, smirking into the camera. And then he does that…that wink. Shane just stares up at the screen, dumbfounded. He’s not listening to the details anymore, but the words echo in his head.
    Metros to acquire Ilya Rozanov…
    His team to acquire Rozanov.
    “This is bullshit,” he mutters, turning and trying not to stomp off like an upset child.

    OR: Ilya gets traded to Shane's team and Shane is not happy about it

    ---

    i was coerced into writing this

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,230
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    487
    Kudos:
    3,346
    Bookmarks:
    1,232
    Hits:
    123,546

    27 Mar 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander is the best player in the league. That has never mattered less than it does under Ilya Rozanov, Team Canada's new coach for the 2014 Sochi Olympics.

    Shane grew up watching him, playing against him, idolising him in a way he didn't even realise. But as a coach, Shane hates him. He's cold, demanding, and impossible to please. But Rozanov pushes Shane harder than anyone ever has, and slowly his hate turns to obsession, competition to dependence. And Shane learns that their lessons come with a price: desire neither of them can afford.

    (OR the coach/player forbidden hollanov you've been waiting for ;) )

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,594
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    735
    Kudos:
    1,690
    Bookmarks:
    654
    Hits:
    49,117

    27 Mar 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya reaches for the bridge of his nose to try and stop the blood flow now trickling down the tendons in his neck, seeping into the collar of his leather jacket. He hears footsteps, and steady hands are suddenly on his face, beating him to it. They pull the cigarette from his lips, and it drops to the concrete like a shooting star.
    “Tilt your head,” says the voice, and now the fingers are on his chin, doing it for him. Said delicately, as if this is his first ever nosebleed. He likes the idea that the slammer of this door thinks Ilya is a stranger to violence. It’s a gentle thought, another Ilya from another life, who isn’t familiar with blood in his teeth and broken bones. Ilya cracks his eyes open.
    ///
    Ilya Rozanov is a little obsessed with former figure skater Shane Hollander, Boston Bears new physio, after he hits him in the face with a car door the first time they meet. When they get off on the wrong foot, Ilya starts looking for ways to get Hollanders attention - which may or may not involve getting injured in increasingly ridiculous ways, starting too many fights on (and off) the ice, and general unhinged self-sabotaging - just in case it means he can spend more a little more time with a certain physio.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,092
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    560
    Bookmarks:
    262
    Hits:
    11,346

    27 Mar 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "We're setting you up with a billet situation," Fletcher continued. "It's pretty common for first-year players, especially international guys. Gives you a chance to settle in, learn the city, have someone looking out for you."

    "Okay," Ilya said slowly, not entirely sure what a billet was, but not wanting to admit his ignorance.

     He could guess from the context – he’d heard of rookies being assigned to live with older single players, veterans who could show them the ropes. Maybe that was what Fletcher meant. Connors maybe, he was probably a handful of years older than Ilya. Or perhaps Becker. Ilya just hoped it was someone who–

    "You'll be staying with Nikolai Petrov and his family."

    The words hit Ilya like a punch to the gut. For a moment, he forgot how to breathe.

    "Petrov?" he managed, his voice coming out strangled.
    __________________________________________________________________

    The Bears decide that Ilya should be set up with a billet for his first season. The idea of spending a year living with a man that Ilya is sure hates him is completely terrifying. And yet, it ends up being the best thing to ever happen to him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    103,460
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    2,572
    Kudos:
    8,369
    Bookmarks:
    3,004
    Hits:
    225,398

    27 Mar 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    At the 2017 All Star Weekend, Ilya takes fate into his own hands to produce at least one out MLH player by the end of the season. Thus begins his part-time side hustle as community organizer, mastermind, and Commander-in-Chief of the Gay Hockey Army.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    147,499
    Chapters:
    37/?
    Collections:
    28
    Comments:
    16,067
    Kudos:
    14,580
    Bookmarks:
    4,800
    Hits:
    525,702

    26 Mar 2026

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