WonkyElk
Fandoms
- Stargate Atlantis (393)
- The Magnus Archives (Podcast) (117)
- The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types (1)
- Columbo (1)
Recent works
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A Brand New Chapter by WonkyElk for KuraioKunzite
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
01 Nov 2025
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“Everyone, this is Martin Blackwood, our latest acquisition. He’s the trailblazer for the new line in modern poets. You’re going to hear great things from this guy!”
Tim tipped his glass proudly at Martin, who strove to look like a man from whom great things would duly spring. Though, with the way his nerves were rippling up and down through his body and playing the Flight of the Bumblebee on his internal organs, the only things currently liable to spring from him would be the bacon sandwich and coke he’d had for lunch.
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Fear: we all produce it, from our first wailing breath, to our last, terrified gasp. And we’re all familiar with the sight of the thousands of heavily fortified kitchens, across the world, where our fear is transformed from a sweaty wobble in our stomachs, or a cold, lingering chill down our spines, into the most fantastic and irresistibly tasty dishes known to Unfathomable Eldritch Entity.
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“So, you’re studying ghosts?”
“Folklore.” Jon was always quick to correct any idea that he imagined that such things were real. “And, actually, my thesis is focused more on animal representations in lore, than on ghosts, per se. Though there is often a connection with the dead.”
Plenty of creatures in the legends he was studying were omens of death, for example, or could convey souls to the afterlife. While others didn’t bother so much with all the looming and howling and the inducing of nameless dread and simply went straight for the throat.
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The door opened, before he could decide whether to be graciously accommodating, or brusquely dismissive. A smallish figure shambled in, more raincoat than man, with a mess of curls - mess being the operative word - and a sheepish expression. He looked to be somewhere between his late thirties and early fifties, but where, precisely, was unclear.
“Ah, so sorry to bother you, I can see you’re busy, but, if I might just have a word with a Mr …” - the man surreptitiously checked a notebook, as if his failure of memory might somehow be hidden from plain sight - “Elias Bowtchard?”
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Statement of Addie Llewellyn, regarding her experiences with bird-watching. Original statement given August 22nd 2011. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.
Statement begins.
Recent series
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Ask an Exec: How to Navigate Cultish Colleagues, Soul-Stealing Bosses, and the End of the World at Work by shinyopals
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
02 May 2023
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I've recently been unexpectedly promoted to lead a department in my organisation, wrote the anonymous emailer.
As there was no one working here when I arrived, my manager, who is head of the organisation, had promised me the choice of my own assistants. However, without warning, he simply presented me with an additional assistant. This new assistant’s first act on his first day was to let a dog into the office. It took several hours to catch and clean up after this dog and it has only been downhill from there. I admit I'm not entirely sure what to do with this assistant now I'm stuck with him. I'm hoping you have some advice?
Kind regards,
New ManagerAbigail Bailey runs a successful management advice blog. One frequent contributor is from a workplace with some... issues.
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Bookmarked by WonkyElk
18 Sep 2025
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"My, My head hurts," he replied dumbly, "And I had a… A really terrible nightmare."
And god, did the last few years feel like a nightmare. A horrible, never-ending nightmare that twisted into shapes Jon never thought possible and took more from him than he knew he had to take.
"Must have been some nightmare," Tim hummed.
"It was," Jon laughed humorlessly.----------------
After the conclusion of the Watcher's Crown, Jon finds himself waking up in a much younger version of his own body, one that's still working with Tim and Sasha in research. Jon refuses to let this opportunity pass him by, refuses to let this world fall to the same fate as his. He'll do it better this time. He'll save everyone, no matter the cost.
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Updates SaturdaysSeries
- Part 1 of Right By Them - A Fix-It of sorts
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- 56/56
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Bookmarked by WonkyElk
31 Oct 2024
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Martin couldn’t remember exactly when or why he’d joined the Knights of the Lonely. He supposed that was by design.
Knights of the Lonely weren’t meant to last long. They were built to take blows, and, if necessary, they were built to die. He supposed that suited him fine.
But upon an assignment to escort the Watcher’s betrothed to the Kingdom of Beholding, Martin began to realize that, perhaps, there was something he was missing. Perhaps it was in the shape of a person with bright, intelligent eyes and acerbic wit, with prickly edges and a gentle smile when he thought no one was looking.
There was only one problem. He wasn’t meant to let the Watcher’s betrothed reach the kingdom alive.
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- 16/16
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Bookmarked by WonkyElk
20 Oct 2024