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  1. Tags
    Summary

    For a guy who loves to eat, Colin turns out to be terrible at eating a girl out.

    That can be easily fixed with some help and guidance. And who better to help him than Penelope, his sister’s long-lost former best friend. There won't be any feelings involved, because Penelope is a lesbian.

    Isn't she?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,926
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    611
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    5,982
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “You're right, I guess,” she acquiesced. “What do you usually do to fall asleep?”

    “Jack off,” he deadpanned.

    Penelope choked on her breath and tried to hide it with a cough. Her whole face felt like it was on fire. “Right.”

    “What?” Colin laughed. “It is the most effective. Don't tell me you never tried it?”

    Penelope can't sleep. Colin helps her out the best he can, being an ocean away and all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,888
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    819
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    9,685
  3. Tags
    Summary

    After being carried out of a burning building, Penelope can't stop thinking about her firefighter-in-shining-armour.

    He hasn't been able to stop thinking about his damsel in distress either.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,574
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    1,106
    Bookmarks:
    212
    Hits:
    21,853
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "He taught me a thing or two with my mouth that still benefits me to this day,” Genevieve caught her eye in the mirror. “I take it you haven't been taught all there is?"

    “You mean,” she whispered, “using your tongue whilst kissing?”

    Genevieve cackled. “No, darling. That is not what I meant.”

    Married couples engage in all sorts of activities she had never heard about. Both times they had made love, Colin had introduced her to something new. But when Penelope hears about this activity, she is too scared to bring it up, and waits until her husband is asleep to try it out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,022
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    786
    Bookmarks:
    103
    Hits:
    9,313
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “I am a man of honour. And we were... intimate.”

    Colin feels entrapped by London's most notorious gossip columnist. Before he can marry her in a church, he must do something about her behaviour.

    Set during season 3 episode 7 Joining of Hands.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,143
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    964
    Bookmarks:
    126
    Hits:
    19,051
  6. Tags
    Summary

    “I don’t want to be married and immediately be left alone for years. I need a chance to make it work first, convince him to stay with me instead. The activities I’m referring to, I wouldn’t be… I wouldn’t be ruined, would I? If I just used my mouth?”

    Colin teaches Penelope to orally pleasure her future husband.

    Set during Season 3 Episode 4 Old Friends.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,849
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    1,066
    Bookmarks:
    107
    Hits:
    13,081
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Would you touch me?”

    He coughed. “Pen, what –”

    “It wouldn’t mean anything!!” she exclaimed, “Obviously, it wouldn’t mean anything. It’s just... the reason we’ve started all this, it’s because I want to know what it’s like to have...”

    “To have? What, sex?”

    Or: Penelope asks her friend a favour.

    A modern take on Season 3 Episode 2 How Bright The Moon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,305
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    1,166
    Bookmarks:
    120
    Hits:
    14,743
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “What about my hands, hm?” he asked, and he held up his free hand, as if examine it.

    Penelope looked at it. Her brain filled with images of his hands touching her all over; caressing her skin, tweaking her nipples, cupping her between her legs, sinking into her.

    Penelope gets turned on by Colin's hands. He notices.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,848
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    938
    Bookmarks:
    119
    Hits:
    14,143
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “We could share,” she said, hoping she sounded more aloof than agitated. “It's not like I take up a lot of room.”

    Colin stared at her. “Are you sure?” he asked.

    She blushed. “I mean, it's just for a few hours, right? I'm sure you can manage to sleep beside a girl without touching her for a change.”

    Or;

    Enemies to lovers in one bed with a dash of praise kink.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,482
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    1,890
    Bookmarks:
    365
    Hits:
    29,264
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Penelope is done with getting snubbed at her internship, especially by her fellow intern-slash-nemesis Cressida.

    But when Colin Bridgerton shows up at Friday night drinks, she finally finds a way to one-up her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,319
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    698
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    6,254
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “We’ll have our own little bubble, just us,” he said, as if he had a sort of epiphany. “It's settled then. In twenty-four hours, I'll give you the best and most memorable hug you have ever had.”

    With Colin stuck at her place during the endless lockdowns, Penelope finds it hard to keep on social distancing. Especially with the touch-starved state she is in...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,529
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    890
    Bookmarks:
    152
    Hits:
    11,386
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Colin is just there to work on the knots in her back after a week of physical labour. Or so Penelope thinks.

    Or:
    Busty redhead pays for massage with creampie.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,341
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    1,901
    Bookmarks:
    283
    Hits:
    32,359
  13. Tags
    Summary

    When Penelope's father dies, Colin does his best to help her through the numbness and the pain.

    He couldn't have known her preferred method of help would be to get him in her bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,632
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    541
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    10,249
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Penelope has a bad date. Colin cheers her up.

    In celebration of only 69 days until season 3 drops.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,996
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    709
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    11,180
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “You mean,” she started, breathless, “you have a fifth leg like that stallion had?”

    Or: Penelope visits a farm and Colin teaches her some basic anatomy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,940
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    681
    Bookmarks:
    93
    Hits:
    11,267
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “Pen,” he started, and her heart jumped at his use of the nickname he hadn't used since that fateful day in her mother's drawing room, “you do realise we're expected to consummate this marriage tonight?”

    -

    Caught alone and unchaperoned, Penelope and Colin are forced to marry. And marriages were to be consummated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,817
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    1,108
    Bookmarks:
    164
    Hits:
    22,987
  17. Tags
    Summary

    'Oh really? Are you texting me naked then, Pen?'

    Her face flushed.

    'I am, actually.'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,429
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    1,005
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    12,341
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “What did you say to him?” he repeated his earlier question, unable to shake his curiosity. “Was it something about his bright-shining eyes?”

    Thinking Penelope is using her new flirting techniques on other men, Colin becomes rather jealous.
    Inspired by last week's 50 second promo clip of Penelope complimenting Colin's blue eyes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,746
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    1,117
    Bookmarks:
    119
    Hits:
    15,964
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Penelope is having a terrible time as her best friend's maid of honour at what will be the wedding of the century. Feeling down and seeking comfort, she chooses to go to the one person she is sure will show her a good time.

    But when it's Colin who answers the door instead, she gets more than she bargained for.

     

    Loosely based on Monica & Chandler's love story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,257
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    441
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    6,831
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "I haven't seen your Aunty Penny in years," Santa said.
    Little Edmund gasped. “Then you don’t even know if she’s on the nice list!”
    “Ho ho ho!” Santa laughed. “I know for sure she is not.”

    In which Santa knows what to do with naughty girls like Penelope.

    Read the tags.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,090
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    274
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    8,146

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