Chapter Text
It's old news by now, Dazai leaving the port mafia. It's been months after the incident and Chuuya has given up on trying to find the bastard. He was desperately searching, going wherever Dazai's been before this, trying to find clues only to be disappointed when he found none. But then again exactly what was he trying to find, a letter explaining everything, a note telling him where he was?
That'd be absolutely stupid. He knew that way before he even started searching.
And so after days of being pissed at everyone and everything, after weeks of dispatching search teams that fail on every try, after months of trying to find even a single trace of Dazai, Chuuya gave up. He realized too late that there wasn't any point to this. There wasn't a point in finding someone who doesn't want to be found.
Especially if said person was Dazai Osamu.
__________
It's been four years since they last saw each other, it's been four years since Dazai's disappearance. And exactly after four years, Chuuya found Dazai in his apartment, making himself comfortable on his couch with a glass of his wine in hand. It was infuriating to say the least and Dazai hasn't even spoken yet.
“You know, I really expected you to turn into a drunkard after I left.”
“I was thinking the same until I realized that'd be exactly what you want.”
Dazai laughs then, a soft sound that fills up the otherwise silent room. And Chuuya, Chuuya realizes then how long it's been since he's heard Dazai laugh like this, bright and unrestrained.
He can't help but realize how much he had missed Dazai's laughter, his voice, just him in general.
He can't help but feel a tug on his heart, realizing just how much Dazai had changed in those four years they spent apart. Realizing how different they are now, even more so compared to how they were before.
Dazai Osamu, currently in the Armed Detective Agency. His smiles unlike the sneers he used to wear on his lips, far more genuine. His laughter that can brighten up the whole room, a laughter that he lets out far more frequently now that he's left the mafia. Dazai Osamu who actually cares for his subordinate instead of using them as mere tools. Dazai Osamu who fights for the good side.
Dazai Osamu who seems so much more human.
And then there's Chuuya. Nakahara Chuuya who hasn't changed much apart from the fact that he drinks more now. Letting the alcohol fill his system, to push down the memories he tries desperately to forget. Who has become slightly more ruthless now, his fists far more bruised than it ever was before. Nakahara Chuuya whose loyalty still lies with the Port Mafia.
Nakahara Chuuya who feels so much more corrupted.
He can't help but feel as though he's being left behind again. So far back that he just can't catch up anymore, no matter how hard he tries.
He crushes the thought in his mind, drowns the emotions brewing in his heart and steels himself. He can't let himself be swayed so easily, can't let his feelings take control of his mind.
He can't let Dazai waltz back into his life this easily, like he had never left in the first place.
“Why're you here Dazai?”
Dazai stops laughing then, a rueful smile replacing his grin.
“I wanted to see you again.”
“Now that you've seen me, leave.”
“I'm not going to leave you, Chuuya.”
Chuuya tries not to let this affect him, he really does.
“You already did, Dazai.”
With that he leaves the apartment, leaving Dazai where he sat on the couch. It didn't matter anyways, he just wanted to be alone and if Dazai didn't want to leave then he will. Dazai doesn't come after him and he spends the rest of the night at Kouyou's place.
Kouyou has a knowing look on her face but doesn't ask any questions, only pulls him into her warm embrace.
He lets himself be comforted without resisting, just for the night.
__________
The seventh time Dazai walks into the apartment, Chuuya can't find it in himself to feel surprised or angry anymore. He just lets out a sigh and walks off to the kitchen.
“Did you change the locks again, Chuuya?”
Yes, he did in fact change the locks but that didn't stop Dazai from breaking in anyways.
He ignores Dazai for the sake of both his blood pressure and his dinner.
“Chuuya~ Don't ignore me,” Dazai whines as he walks into the kitchen, moving towards the counter right in front of Chuuya.
“What's for dinner?”
“Nothing for you, you bandage wasting bastard.”
“You're so mean, Chuuya!”
If Dazai noticed the extra portion Chuuya was making, he doesn't say a word about it as he proceeds to ask Chuuya about his day and in turn telling him about his.
Chuuya doesn't want to let Dazai waltz back into his life so easily.
But then again, when do things ever go his way when it comes to Dazai.
__________
The next time Dazai enters his house it's by actually opening the door with a spare key. Chuuya gave up on changing the locks only to have his apartment broken in by Dazai the very next day.
They've formed a sort of routine by now, with Dazai coming in almost every day like he lives there. Which isn't that far from the truth now that Chuuya thinks about it.
Sometimes after their meals, Dazai leaves to go back to his own place. But more often than not, he stays the night and only leaves after they've had breakfast together.
He looks around and he sees pieces of Dazai all over the place – his clothes in the closet, his preferred foods in the kitchen cabinet, his books on the nightstand – and Chuuya realises that he doesn't mind it as much as he thought he would.
This time, as Dazai hugs him from behind and asks him about his day he doesn't push him away. Instead, he turns around and places a chaste kiss on Dazai's lips, telling him that his day went fine. Dazai, shocked by his actions doesn't say a word and Chuuya can feel his face flush to the tips of his ears as the silence drags on.
And then Dazai grins, bright and beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Chuuya can't help but be entranced by the sight.
It may take a while for things to go back to the way it used to be, but they still have time to make amends, to fix their once broken relationship and make it better than it ever was before.