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He keeps a small knife tucked into his left boot. It has kept him from getting robbed, or worse, many times. It’s not any better anywhere else, he's heard the stories. The government overburdened with the unemployed, the homeless, the war and disease. Crime seems to be least of their concerns.
He jumps over an icy puddle, tugging his jacket close. It doesn't really keep the cold away. He shivers and glances up at the sky. The sky is grey, stormy clouds hanging thick and heavy. It is only the middle of autumn and he knows the winter will be the harshest yet. He's not sure if-he shakes his head to clear it.
Don't think about that, Jin tells him, walking backwards so that they can face each other as they walk. You promised.
"Don't walk like that. You'll fall, hyung."
Jin smiles.
I don't fall.
The locker creaks as it opens. He lets the towel drop and stretches his shoulders back. His muscles protest painfully. As do the bruises. And the wounds. It had been a long night.
Someone whistles.
"Now, that's a fine sight."
He pulls on his pants.
"Fuck off, Jimin."
Laughter.
"I'm sure I can't afford you anyways, baby."
He gives Jimin the finger.
He hears Jimin chuckling on his way to the showers. He reaches for his shirt, goose-bumps already rising on his skin. They never keep the change rooms heated.
Jungkook. A gentle finger traces across his shoulder blade. Jungkook. Gentle kiss against his shoulder.
"It's okay, hyung. Only a few cuts and bruises."
You say that every time. A kiss on the other shoulder. Even when it’s not true.
He leans his forehead on the overhead locker and breathes.
Arms wrap around him.
"I wish-I wish things could be different too, hyung."
I'm sorry, Jin whispers. Let's go home.
He doesn't buy breakfast. They're going to leave this miserable city. Go somewhere south. Somewhere warm. He's going to save up and get them out.
He's not hungry anyways, he'd eaten a sandwich for lunch yesterday. He'll probably do the same today. But before that, sleep.
He keeps his clothes on, crawls under his thin blankets, squeezes his eyes shut.
Jin hooks his chin over his shoulder and wraps his arms around him.
Warm. Jin is warm.
Sleep, Jin whispers in his ear.
He smiles, and does.
They'd come to the city because all the others had, fleeing the dying outer towns and crowding into the city as if it held salvation. It had been a lie. A trap. One that held them and bled them. But they had each other. Even the bleak miserable days of the city was bearable when Jin smiled.
They are going to get out of this place.
He dreams of the ocean. And Jin's smile.
He wipes a hand across his mouth. He can taste the blood.
"Get back here!" An impatient order.
He spits out the blood, takes a breath and complies.
"You're lucky you didn't lose any teeth," the resident doctor (also the electrician and the occasional security guard), Yoongi, tells him.
He shrugs.
Jin is leaning against the open door, watching him.
He cannot meet Jin's eyes.
"Jungkook, you've got to think about-"
He sits up, shrugging his shirt on.
"I've thought about it, hyung." He looks at Yoongi who is frowning at him. "There's nothing else."
Jin quietly falls into step with him as he walks out.
"Say it, hyung."
Jin threads their fingers together.
You already know.
Jungkook holds on tight.
"I know."
He pushes the door open and walks out on to the open rooftop. His day off today, and Jin had insisted he get some fresh air. He would work every day if he could, but his body needs to heal. Yoongi insists and Jin more than happily agrees.
The wind is freezing, he reminds himself never to trust Jin and his advice. He walks over to the edge.
Jin is already there, peering over the edge.
Look.
He crowds against Jin and looks down. It's the singer. He has been singing at the corner since probably before they had moved here. Jungkook doesn't know if he actually makes any money or if he's got another job that pays. But as long as it's not raining or snowing, he's there with a battered guitar, singing old love songs.
He has a nice voice, Jin says, turning to him.
Jungkook watches the long fingers flow over the strings. He can barely hear the chords, or the sweet words. But he knows the sound of his voice. It follows him in the evenings when he walks to work.
"He does."
You should talk to him.
He sits down on the floor and leans back on the ledge. It's going to rain again, the clouds are almost black and the day is dark even though it is barely past midday.
"Why?"
Jin sits down beside him.
You need friends.
Jungkook chuckles. He looks at Jin. The wind pushes his dark hair on to his face. Jungkook brushes it back.
"I've got you."
Jin catches his hand.
I'm not enough.
"You're all I need, hyung."
He's walking past. He's about to walk past. But Jin steps in front of him.
Say hello.
Jungkook glares at him.
Jin winks.
Come on, JK!
Jungkook sighs, rolls his eyes and pauses.
The singer is singing about dark haired someone with seductive eyes. Jungkook watches him. His clothes look battered, his guitar looks battered, the upside-down cap lying before him is threadbare. The only thing about him that doesn't look worn out is the smile, which grows when he sees Jungkook watching.
"Hi," the singer greets him once the song comes to an end.
Jungkook clears his throat and nods.
"Hey. I-uh-that was a nice song."
The singer laughs.
"Thank you. That's the nicest thing I've heard for a long while."
Jungkook blinks.
"I'm Taehyung." The singer extends a hand.
Jungkook stares at the hand for a moment before he takes it.
"Jungkook."
"I've seen you walk past most evenings."
Jungkook looks past him.
"Yeah. I've seen you here most of those times."
Taehyung grins.
"And here I thought today is the first time you realised I existed."
Jungkook looks at him. Taehyung tilts his head.
"Why today?"
"What?"
"Why did you stop today?"
Jungkook shrugs and he takes step a back.
"I have to go."
Taehyung nods.
"You'll stop by tomorrow?"
"I don't know."
He walks away. Fast. His heart is beating too quickly in his chest and he tries to get more air into his lungs.
Jungkook, slow down, Jin tells him.
Air wheezes into his lungs and braces himself against the nearest wall.
Jin lays a gentle hand on his back.
It's okay. Everything is okay.
He sinks to the ground, fists his fingers in his hair and tries desperately not to cry.
"No, hyung. It's not."
So much blood. He doesn't even feel the pain. He doesn't care. He just wants to forget.
They are walking home, bags slung over their shoulders and stomachs filled with cheap street food. It is dark but they were never afraid of the dark. Shadows unfurl from the walls. Shadows that coalesce into shapes of men. Men wielding knives and demanding money.
Jin laughs and refuses. Jungkook keeps a hand fisted in Jin's shirt and stands with him.
The men snarl, knives flashing closer.
Maybe we'll just take you and your pretty friend instead.
Jin pushes him back, away from the knives.
We're not scared, you assholes! Jin snaps.
Jin makes a sound, like he is surprised. The men are shouting and in all the chaos, Jungkook doesn't understand. Until Jin sways on his feet. Until he clutches at him blindly and falls.
Jungkook.
Then there is the blood. So much blood. All over Jin and all over his hands and he screams for help.
Please, someone!
Jungkook.
You'll be fine, Jungkook promises. You'll be fine. Hyung, just-
I'm sorry, Jin whispers. There is blood on his lips now.
No. No. Just-hang in there okay. Just-don't leave me, he pleads, crying and fighting for each breath. Don't you fucking dare, hyung!
Jin coughs.
Never. Jin pulls him closer. Never.
"You're a fool," a familiar voice mutters. "I have never met someone stupider than you."
He cracks an eye open. The light hurts so he closes it again.
"I told you-" something cool dabs at his cheek. He winces at the pain. "I fucking told you not to take on too much."
"It hurts, hyung," he whispers.
"Of course, it does, you idiot! There isn't a part of you that that isn't bloodied or bruised."
He turns his head towards the voice and opens his eyes. Yoongi shifts in the light.
Beyond him, Jin is there, a silent guardian by the door.
"I miss you, hyung."
I'm right here.
Yoongi moves into his line of vision, obscuring Jin.
"How long has he been with you?" Yoongi asks quietly.
"Always."
"Is that why you try to get yourself killed every other night?"
"I promised him-" he swallows, "I promised him I wouldn't kill myself."
Yoongi sighs.
"I think you're doing a bad job at keeping that promise, Jungkook."
"What can I do, hyung? I don't even-" he tilts his head back, eyes fixing on the yellow ceiling, "-I don't even know why I wake up in the morning."
"You need to leave this place. Leave the city. It’s killing you."
"I can't. I can't. This is where he- I can't-"
"Do you think he'd want this for you?" Yoongi snaps.
I don't, Jin tells him. Listen to him, Jungkook.
"Leave. Let him save your life." Yoongi's voice is softer now.
His breath stutters.
Go find the sun, Jungkook.
Jin is smiling.
He chooses to be grateful that everything he wants to take with him fits in his backpack. And that it is not raining on his way to the train station. Taehyung is not at his corner today. Jungkook walks past and in his mind hears music.
He buys a one-way ticket to the southernmost city he can reach by train. He sits by a window and watches the rain clouds move in over the city.
"I'd say don't believe in coincidences but I totally do!"
Jungkook looks up. Taehyung is there, grinning from ear to ear, a large rucksack on his back and his guitar case in one hand.
"Nice to see you again, Jungkook."
Jungkook nods.
Rain hits the window, streaking down and pooling on the edge between the glass and the metal.
"You going on holiday?" Taehyung asks.
"I'm going south."
Taehyung chuckles.
"Can a friend join you?"
He turns away from the storm.
"Yeah. Yeah, you can."
Taehyung nods, shuffles over and collapses on the seat beside him.
I'm proud of you.
He glances up, and catches Jin's smile.
"Why are you leaving the city?"
Taehyung huffs out a laugh.
"Oh man. How long have you got?"
Jungkook laughs.
"About 10 hours or so."
Taehyung grins and leans closer.
"So, listen right. There was this…."
Taehyung falls asleep halfway through his story. Jungkook watches the world flash by, everything melding together in a greenish blur. Jin is leaning his head on the window. He looks back at Jungkook once in a while. They pass the journey in silence.
The seagulls are louder than he imagined. The sand is coarse under his bare feet. Wave after wave crashes on the shore. So loud. The ocean is so loud. The sun is warm on his face. He still can't quite believe how blue the sky is. How it is not even one shade of blue but so many. All so vivid and beautiful.
We made it.
"Yeah, hyung."
He turns his head. Jin is watching the horizon.
"Thank you."
Jin looks at him, the wind blows his dark hair across his face. He is smiling.
Jungkook hears a voice in the distance, singing an old song.
He's got a nice voice.
Taehyung waves at him enthusiastically.
"Yeah."
He waves back.
"What happens now?" He asks, looking back at Jin.
Jin steps closer, cradles his face with a hand.
Whatever you want.
He kisses him softly.
Anything you want.
"Jungkook! Let's get ice cream!" He hears Taehyung yell.
Jungkook feels his breath catch in his throat and he tries to swallow past it.
"Hyung.”
Jin breaks into a slow smile and steps back.
A moment later, Taehyung jostles against him, arm thrown over his shoulders.
"Come on! Ice cream, man!"
Another wave crashes against the shore.
"Are you five?" Jungkook asks, even as they head towards the ice cream stall.
Taehyung laughs.
"Ice cream is universal, man. It’s the universal food!"
Jungkook rolls his eyes. But he doesn’t throw off Taehyung's arm.
He looks back.
Jin is watching the waves.
See you later, hyung.
***