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Keith made his way down to the observation deck for the fourth time that week. It had seemed like forever since they lost Shiro and started searching through space for him, but there were still no signs as to where he could be. Keith looked out of the giant observatory window at the vast universe and realized just how small he was compared to it all. He couldn't even see the beauty in space anymore, all he knew is that Shiro was lost in it and no matter how much he begged, the cosmos wasn't helping him find his friend.
“We just got you back Shiro… why does this keep happening?” Keith stared out the window waiting for an answer even though he knew there wasn't one coming.
“Hey.” Keith startled as he heard a familiar voice call to him from a bit farther away. Lance was looking at him from his seat on the steps and even though Keith didn't respond he kept talking. “Still thinking about this whole Shiro situation? Needed a second to mullet over?”
Keith gave a slight snarl and turned away as that stupid, blinding smirk flashed onto Lance’s face. He was not in the mood for this nonsense right now. Lance had absolutely no idea how to read the room and all he was doing was agitating Keith.
“Alright, alright, I'll knock it off Captain Moody." Lance turned back to the window ready to leave Keith alone, but Keith had something to say.
“... do you not get how important things are right now or do you just not care?” There was a bit of bite to Keith’s words as they left his mouth. “Do you ever take anything seriously?”
“You're stressed and angry, well that's not new but the stress is making you extra angry, yeah?” Keith's eyes widened and he glanced at Lance as the blue paladin pinpointed the exact cycle his emotions had been running in lately. “How's that been working for your head?”
“I… this has all just been a lot to handle.” Keith crossed his arms over his chest, this analysis he'd been subjected to making him just a bit uncomfortable.
“Losing Shiro has been… tough. I know that and I know he told you he wanted you to take over if something happened and it's probably messed you up a little, but you're doing alright Keith.”
“But I'm nothing like Shiro. We need him, we're not Voltron without Shiro leading u-” Lance turned to Keith looking absolutely dumbfounded.
“Whoa, just because you're filling in for Shiro doesn't mean you have to be him. Shiro wanted you to lead your way, not his way. That's why he chose you guy.”
As much as Keith hated to admit it, Lance was right. It was hard to separate that logic from his anxiety though. It was unanimously agreed amongst them that Shiro was their leader, and he constantly proved why they'd made the right choice to put their confidence in him. Shiro was the only one who believed Keith could lead, and the only reason no one argued about it was because the directive came from Shiro. He believed in Keith, so he had to try to lead the best way he knew how, and that way was Shiro’s way.
“Keith Kogane is not Takashi Shirogane.” Keith felt a bit of warmth rush to his cheeks as Lance smiled up at him, all the warmth and encouragement in the world packed into the small gesture. “And that's okay. I- We already like you Keith, you don't have to try so hard.”
With that Lance turned back toward the window, feeling a little hot under his collar and hoping Keith didn't notice his words. Fortunately for him Keith was oblivious, unfortunately he decided to roll with Lance’s last comment.
“You sure everyone likes me?” He grinned a little as he asked Lance. “I seem to recall someone telling me to shut my quiznak.” Lance let out a noise half between a scoff and a chuckle and the odd sound caused Keith's stomach to flip just a touch.
“Hey I'm a nice guy, but I still gotta make sure you know I’m my own man,” Lance said, smiling a little to himself as he continued to watch the view.
Keith shook his head as he chuckled, then just stood for a minute. Of course he was still worried about Shiro and Voltron, but Lance’s words had managed to make him feel a bit better. He couldn't promise to change overnight, but he could try to figure out what it meant to lead his way, the Keith way. As ridiculous as he may be, Lance was actually pretty smart and insightful, but it made sense. They didn't exactly allow dunces into the Garrison. Maybe impromptu psychotherapy sessions with Lance would be better than brooding on his own.
Why was Lance sitting all by himself stargazing in deep thought thought?
For a moment Lance thought Keith left until he heard footsteps approaching him. He turned, half wondering why Keith was coming his way. He got even more confused when Keith sat down next to him, lounging and looking out. Since he was quiet Lance decided to just go with it, eyes shifting forward again as well. The two of them just sat leisurely for a while until Keith finally broke the silence.
“So… the observation deck?” Keith was trying to pry in a roundabout way, because really no one came here unless it was to overthink something. Lance half smiled and turned to Keith, deep blue eyes meeting his dark cobalt eyes. He had to calm the subtle stirring in his chest at the sight.
“Easy to see I'm sulking?” Keith gave Lance a half hearted nod before asking another question.
“Are you freaking out over Shiro too?” Lance hesitated before answering his new, temporary, leader.
“25% Shiro, 40% wondering about mi familia, 20% mad I missed Carmen and Domingo’s birthday, 10% terrified it wasn't the last birthday I'll be missing, and 5% just pining after earth and the beach,” Lance answered, seeming to sink farther into the floor with each admission of the weight his shoulders carried. “... I'm lost in space and my little old abuela could be super sick or d-”
No. Keith couldn't let him finish that thought. This was not his Lance. This was not the Lance McClain he befriended in space and reluctantly found solace in. He couldn't allow Lance to go through all this pain and sorrow right now. Not right in front of him.
Keith fully intended to reach for a shoulder to pat but his hand somehow found Lance’s instead. He had to fight the flush he felt rushing to his cheeks, especially when he caught Lance glance at Keith's hand over his then right back at Keith. Lance was a little confused and almost sure this was unintentional, but he was grateful for the small comfort his friend provided. He felt his ears burn a touch as he inched his hand a bit farther under Keith's.
“Hey, everyone's okay. I'm sure they miss you just as much as you miss them, and I know they're probably working just as hard to find you as Pidge is for Matt and Dr. Holt… you know this isn't your fault right?” Keith tried to reassure Lance, not knowing exactly where his mind was but trying to offer some assistance.
“Isn't it though?” Lance focused on Keith again. “I didn't have to climb up into the blue lion, I could've gotten in myself and made you guys stay outside. I'm sure there was an ejector seat or something I could've pressed so we could've got out… Shiro had just came back and now we're all lost in space thanks to me. Probably forever.”
“No, you guys followed me out into the desert to find Blue and we all agreed that heading into that portal was the right thing to do.” Keith was looking right back at him, desperately willing his words to have some impact on Lance. “Yeah we're stuck and it sucks sometimes and I know you miss your family… I can't entirely imagine what that's like but… you guys are like family to me now.”
Lance grew a little surprised to hear Keith say that, but he smiled, turning his hand over under Keith's to give it a reassuring squeeze. The warmth of their pressed palms lingered even after Lance let go and both their stomachs trembled at the touch. Lance decided he was going to make a promise to Keith right then and there.
“We're gonna find Shiro, finish all this interstellar business then get back to earth, and when we do you're coming home with me.” Lance gave Keith the most genuine smile he'd ever seen, it seemed to warm the entire room and Keith could feel his neck heating up too. But Lance was on a roll and fortunately he didn't notice Keith's sudden shift in color. “And I promise after they've fed you to the point of popping, I'll help you find out everything we can about your family. Us broken boys gotta stick together right?”
“Right,” Keith said, chuckling a little to himself.
That smile stayed on Lance’s face and Keith swore he could stare at it forever. He couldn't though and he wouldn't, Lance would never let him. There was no reason to anyway, so Keith decided to do the smart thing and end the moment. As Keith stood Lance felt his warmth leave his hand and tried not to pout. When he looked up Keith was reaching out to help him up and he gratefully took his hand again.
“We'll probably be pretty messed up when all's said and done but we'll always be a team,” Keith said as he pulled Lance up to his feet.
He froze as Lance immediately pulled him into a bro hug, patting his back a few times. Keith thought this was fine and was just about to reciprocate, but Lance decided more comfort was necessary. He pulled Keith close, wrapping both arms around his shoulders. Keith froze as he was embraced, his entire face was on fire.
“Lance?” Keith was heavily confused and needed answers.
“I'm a cuddler Keith, indulge me,” and Keith did, nestling into Lance’s shoulder to stifle his smile as he wrapped his arms around Lance’s torso. They just stood there for a while, enveloped in each other's arms and content for the first time since Shiro’s disappearance. Keith wasn't really a hugger but he thought hugging Lance was pretty nice. As he caught the scent of sandalwood and vanilla he felt his face burning again, he quickly thought up another distraction.
“I think you just miss having spa days on earth,” he joked, hoping it sounded natural.
“Hey, mama and Leticia taught me early that a good skin care regimen is important. Best believe you're getting the same lesson when we get back.”
“What? H-hey I-” he was cut off by Lance’s infectious laugh and he couldn't help but smile, praying his cheeks weren't as pink as they felt. Lance turned to face the window again and Keith took the opportunity to study his lanky friend's face. He knew he shouldn't have but when else would he get to admire his flawless brown skin, stunning blue eyes, and the slight speckling of freckles on the bridge of his nose uninterrupted? It was honestly amazing that Lance managed to take care of himself so well even though they were so far from earth. Keith knew he was too deep in his feelings to deny them any longer, but he couldn't tell Lance and he refused to be obvious about it. He jumped back a little in surprise as Lance turned back to him looking like he'd just won the lottery.
“Betcha I could beat you around that satellite, to the asteroid belt and back again.” that cocky smirk came back and Keith had to shift his focus so he could ignore his emotions.
“Lance,” he began, ready to talk him out of it.
“What? Is all that brooding gonna ruin your chances? It's okay to be scared Keith.” he raised an eyebrow, wearing that same expression. However it faltered a bit when Keith mirrored him, tides turning as Lance did his best not to stare.
“Alright,” Keith said, backing out of the hug with an indifferent shrug. “But I don't plan on stroking your ego.”
As Keith turned and left the room it was Lance’s turn to be frozen and red faced. He was sure his angry friend had no idea the effect his words had, nobody had his gutter mind, but Lance was struggling to calm his pace. He bit his bottom lip and did his best to shove those thoughts away as he trotted after the red paladin and they raced to their respective hangars. Keith Kogane may drive him crazy in the best way but he still had a race to win.