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There’s a moment when Dazai hesitates. He fiddles with the end of his left bandage, eyes going anywhere but his partner. The other man is at his right, leaning back and looking through his Ideal, glasses slowly slipping down his nose. He’s rather handsome in this light, Dazai thinks without shame. There is nothing wrong with finding aesthetic pleasure in a man, he figures, as his eyes slowly brush over the other before darting away again. His leg is bouncing, fabric brushing across fresh scars. They sting a little, but it’s nothing he isn’t used to. A few moments pass with a comfortable silence, at least, it seems comfortable. Dazai’s brain is going a mile a minute, but Kunikida seems fine.
“Did you mean what you said, earlier?” Dazai finally finds the nerve to speak. Kunikida looks up from his notebook, glancing to the other man. He’s chewing on his lip, refusing to make eye contact. He can register that it’s rude, but he can’t find the guts to look his partner in the eye.
“What? I said a lot of things today.” Kunikida deadpans. Dazai finds himself nervously snickering. He can’t tell if Kunikida is joking or not. It could be hard with him sometimes, but it keeps things interesting. Kunikida raises a brow, closing his book.
“About my bandages. What do you think is under them?” Kunikida leans back and closes his eyes, deep in thought. Dazai feels his stomach drop. It’s a fairly obvious reason. He hoped Kunikida would spare him the shame of what he’d done
“I don’t know.” Kunikida finally admits. “Something has to be there other than your limbs, but I can’t imagine what.” Dazai breathes a sigh, one of relief. His heart is still hammering in his chest, but he doesn’t have to face that conversation quite yet. “Dazai.” His partner is leaning forward now, keeping his eyes trained on the other. Dazai looks anywhere but. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“I know, but you’re right. It’s like I’m lying to you.” He interlocks his fingers, rubbing his thumbs together nervously. Half of his body seems to shake, thanks to the way he’s moving his leg.
“I only said you weren’t very open. I never claimed you were a liar.” Kunikida pauses, sighs, and continues, “It was just a little jab. Don’t be too worried about it.” Dazai cracks a small smile.
“I don’t think I can do that, considering it’s coming from the King of Worrying About Things.” He said, and Kunikida squints. No words pass between the two for a moment, and Dazai feels his heart rate slow, at least until he notices Kunikida, who is still staring him down. He flushes a little.”What is it, Kunikida-kun? Captivated by my good looks?” He taunts, trying to ignore the hammering returning to his chest. It’s Kunikida’s turn to blush. The other doesn’t say a word, opting to open his book and lean back again. A smirk plays for a moment on Dazai’s lips, until a thought enters his mind. It’s a terrible question, but he trusts Kunikida. He trusts the other far more than he trusts himself most of the time.
“Hey, Kunikida-kun, do you want to know what’s under them?” This gets the other man to look up again, his eyes meeting Dazai’s. Despite the pit in his stomach, Dazai doesn’t flinch when their eyes meet.
“I hate to admit, but I am curious.” Kunikida responds. Dazai hesitates, picking at his bandages again.
“Not today,” He says, looking to the sky, “But I promise I’ll show you one day.” Kunikida gives the man a small smile, before returning to his book.