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Rob knew how this all started. It all started with a stupid game.
They were out on the circuit, and all the actors were bored and drunk. So what better way to pass time than to play truth or dare. Like they were in high school, and not all middle aged men.
Of course Rich had to choose dare. Of course Misha had to be the troll that he is and dare Rich to kiss Rob.
Rob had laughed it off. It was just stupid fun, nothing wrong with a quick peck to make everyone laugh.
What he wasn't expecting was that quick peck to make his stomach flip, and a yearning to bloom in his chest. He wanted more, and he wanted it bad. But he played it cool, and went along with the rest of his night trying to drown the feeling with alcohol.
Up in his room by himself was another story. There he could give into the feeling, and replay the kiss over and over in his head. He even envisioned other scenarios. Rich’s lips on his neck, biting and sucking marks into the soft skin. The ruff feeling of his beard on Rob’s neck and chest as he moved lower. Rich’s hands running up and down Rob’s ribs, catching briefly on each one.
It wasn't long and Rob was groaning Rich’s name, and making a mess of himself.
This is how the days passed, and Rich was of no help. He only added fuel to the flames every day. Giving Rob winks that went right to his groin. Sitting close enough to Rob that their legs would brush up against each other. Even threading his fingers in Rob’s at the end of a panel one day. Rob had to fight every fiber of his being to not just pull him in tight at that point.
It was all getting to be too much, and Rob could only think of one way to fix this, he had to distance himself from Rich.
So he started sitting on complete opposite sides of the room. He declined invitations to go out. Pretended to be preoccupied with a new song, knowing that Rich would never interrupt his creative flow.
He knew this was the only way. If he gave in to the feelings, he knew that he would only get hurt. There was no way that Rich felt the same way. Not to mention the hurt and the awkwardness that would be inevitable on the road. Having Rich know his feelings, and not reciprocate them, but still having to spend every moment with him would kill Rob.
Living in his small fantasy world every night was a better way to live.
Eventually Rich stopped reaching out. He stayed away from Rob, and stopped inviting him out. Everyone was confused as to what had happened to the two friends. They all could see how Rich’s demeanor had changed. The small spark on his eyes had gone almost completely out. He put on a good show for the fans, but those closest to him could see it.
Matt decided he had enough of this, and confronted Rob in the green room about it one day.
“Dude, what is going on with you and Rich lately?”
“What do you mean?” Rob asked looking up from his notebook.
“You guys don't hang out anymore. Did you have some sort of fight?” Matt’s voice had true concern in it.
“No. I've just been busy with this song.” Rob said looking back down at his notebook, which was blank.
“That song that you never write?”
Rob’s eyes shot up to meet Matt's. Matt rose his eyebrows in a challenge to Rob. Anger swelled deep in Rob’s stomach. He snapped his notebook shut, and stormed out of the green room, heading up to his hotel room instead.
Up in his room, Rob was on the verge of tears. He knew that pushing Rich away would hurt him, but somehow he had missed how much it was hurting Rich. Other people were noticing, and everything was was spiraling out of control.
A knock on the door brought Rob back to reality.
“Go away Matt!” He hollered.
Another knock.
“Leave it alone. Go bother someone else!”
The knock was louder this time.
Rob wiped his eyes, and pushed off the bed. He wrenched the door open ready to lay into Matt, but his words got caught in his throat as Rich stood on the other side of the door.
Rich took advantage of Rob’s surprise and pushed past him stepping into the small room.
“Look, I don't know what exactly I have done to piss you off, but you have not been yourself in a while.” Rich was talking fast, and there was heat in his voice. “So have at me. Yell at me for whatever this is. Because I can't take this anymore. The avoiding and the lying. This is not you. This is not us. We talk about things. So let's get this out, so we can get past it, and I can get my best friend back.”
Rob was quiet for a few seconds. In the close quarters he could see how his decisions had effected Rich. Rob could tell that he was not sleeping well, the worry lines in his forehead deeper, and it looked as though he was thinner from not eating.
“I'm not mad at you,” Rob's voice sounded small.
“What?”
Rob cleared his throat, “I'm not mad at you.”
“Then what is it? Because if you're not mad, then what the hell is making you act this way?”
Rob found his feet to be rather interesting at that moment. “I'm scared,” he admitted out loud for the first time.
“Scared? What do you have to be scared of?” Rich was almost yelling at this point.
“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” Rob shouted back at him. Blush immediately colored his face.
All anger melted out of Rich. “Is that all?”
“Is that all?!” Rob shreeked. “Do you realize how this can mess everything up? I'm in love with you, and you don't love me back. I will always want what you are not able to give. That is just going to cause awkwardness for both of us.”
“Who said I don't love you?” Rich asked.
Rob made a noise that sounded like a “huh?” But he could not clearly say that.
“Who said that I don't love you? Cause whoever it was lied.”
“You- You love me?”
“Of course I do. Have for a long time. I even slipped Misha a twenty to dare me to kiss you a while back.”
Rob's legs fell out from under him as tears rolled down his face. Rich was at his side in seconds holding him through each sob.
All this time. He was mean and rude, and he hurt Rich. Why had he done that? Rob didn't realized he was saying all this out loud until Rich started answering back.
“You didn't know. It's ok, I'm here now, and now we know.” Rich slid a finger under Rob’s chin and gave a gentle lift. He carefully slotted his lips with Rob’s, tasting the salt from the tears.
Rob melted into the kiss, and wrapped his arms around Rich’s neck and pulled him closer. The sobs quieting, and turning into needy moans.
Rich broke the kiss with a chuckle. “Slow down there chief. There is still a con going on downstairs that we are supposed to be a part of.”
Do we have to?” Rob groaned, burying his face in Richard’s chest and inhaling his scent.
“Yes, we have a lot of fans that are counting on us. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and we'll walk downstairs together.”
Rich stood up and took Rob with him. He helped to wipe off his face, and gave a quick kiss to Rob's cheek when he was done.
They walked back downstairs hand in hand, and stepped back into the green room.
All chattering stopped, and every pair of eyes were solely on the two of them and their clasped hands.
Misha stood up and shouted, “Alright, everyone pay up. I won the pool.”
Rich and Rob couldn't help the chuckles that erupted from their chests.