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Sam was in a coma.
And Dean was in a panic.
The doctors wanted to end it and pull the plug, but Dean was adamant about keeping Sam kicking. He had searched for every possible solution. Any solution. But nothing had proven itself useful. He had to keep his promise to his father to keep little Sammy safe. That undeniable gnawing feeling continuously grew in Dean's gut: that maybe this was the end. That it finally might be the actual end for Sam.
No, Dean would never let that happen. Not as long as he was up and running. On Earth. Yeah, there was really nothing he could do for Sam if he was stuck in Purgatory. Or Hell, for that matter. And Heaven, too.
He sat in one of the hospital room chairs beside Sam's bed. He was sitting forward on, elbows to knees.The Big Guy was still unconsious. Dean couldn't bear to see him like this. Dean'd been awake long before Sam had even attempted the third trial which had caused him to end up here in the Urgent Care floor. He hadn't allowed himself to sleep while Sammy was in danger. He blinked for a second, trying to stay awake. But now his eyes would not open at all as much as he willed them to.
That's when he noticed the two cool fingers on his forehead.
"Damnit Cas, I don't need sle..." But Dean was already gone. He fell back into the chair and into a pleasant dream inwhich he and his respected angel were at a tiny remote island off the coast of Chile which only contained one house. It was a huge, lavish vacation home where Dean and Cas explored each other intimately. It was the best dream Dean had ever had. It contained everything he had ever wanted: Castiel.
When Dean woke up, he was in another bed which was not in the hospital. It looked to be some random motel room. Wait, when did he rent a hotel room? And where was Sam? Why was Dean not at the hospital with him? But there were arms around him and a familiarly warm body somewhat beneath his own. He looked up into the face of Castiel, who stared back at him. They had their famous stare-down but it ended with a quick kiss from Dean. His head rested on Cas's chest, but his body was laid up next to Cas so close they were touching. Cas's arms were around Dean's upper body, and Dean casually threw his arms around Cas's midsection.
"Cas, you know I have to ask you to zap us back to the hospital, right?" Dean said, sighing a little. Cas looked mournfully at him.
"Dean, I'm human. I can't "zap" as you say, anywhere." Dean's stomach dropped. Shit. He'd forgotten.
"Oh Cas, baby, I'm so sorry I totally forgot. I didn't mean-"
"I know you meant nothing by it Dean." Cas replied, his tone bittersweet as he looked away from the hunter he was with.
"Cas," Dean put a hand on Cas's cheek. The angel looked at him. "Cas, really. I didn't mean it." The blue eyes stared back at Dean. Damn, did he love those eyes. And that hair. Jesus help him.
Apparently, Cas was thinking the same thing about Dean because a hand ran its slender fingers through Dean's light brown hair. Dean's eyes momentarily closed in bliss as they made their way along his scalp.
"Dean." At soft call of his name, he opened his eyes. And Castiel gave him a look only Dean could comprehend.
This was his angel. No one else was entitled to this beautiful being. And Dean didn't care if Cas was human or an angel. If Cas loved him, that was the best thing Dean could ever have. They understood each other in ways most people could not. They both had issues with their fathers, they both had been to Purgatory/Hell/Heaven, they both needed something to hold onto when the going got tough. And that "something" just happened to be each other.
"Cas-" Dean began, but Cas put a finger to his lips which startled Dean because it was a bold move for Cas. Normally he was timid when it came to basic human actions.
"Shush, Dean. Don't speak. It's okay." Cas said, voice lower than usual. Dean's heart rate picked up.
"Cas, what are you-" Dean began, disregarding Cas's command. This time to quiet the hunter, Cas put his lips on Dean's. Dean leaned forward to put his left hand at the base of Cas's neck, pulling the angel closer to him. This was like no kiss they had previously had before. Those had been passionate "I love you and I am here for you" kisses; light but meaningful. This was a different kiss. This was a "I want more" kiss. And Dean returned it to Cas. The angel's arms hugged Dean, pulling at him. Dean's mouth made it's clever way to Cas's jawline, migrating to his neck where Dean sucked and grazed. It was then Cas made beautiful noises that aroused Dean. He climbed on top of the angel and hovered there, sucking the bruised skin of Cas's neck. Castiel's moans made Dean only pull him impossibly closer, their bodies rubbing together still fully clothed. And it bothered Dean. He searched for friction between them but got none that he wanted. The ex-angel pulled at his shirt, pulling it over Dean's head and off his body.
And then they just looked at each other.
"Dean..." Castiel's pupils were dilated, and Dean bet his were as well. Dean smiled.
"Don't worry, I gotcha angel. And I'm never gonna let you go." He said with confidence.
"But Dean, I'm no angel. Not anymore..." Cas looked up at Dean pitifully. And Dean thought of a way to cheer him up.
"Well, with what I'm gonna do to you, you won't be clean either." And Dean leaned in and kissed Cas; feeling the smile creep onto the other man's face as he did.
"What are you going to do me Dean?" Castiel asked, almost a little too innocently. Dean smiled darkly and leaned into Cas's ear so close that when he spoke, his lips brushed the skin.
"Dirty, horribly bad things, angel. And I will learn just how to break you down and get you on your knees, begging for release. But you know what? You aren't getting any. Not from me. You'll be begging, moaning, screaming for me." Cas whimpered at this. "And I'll just let you struggle because you'll be beautiful. So c'mere angel." Dean said, unbuttoning Cas's white dress shirt. When the skin was revealed, Dean put his mouth to Castiel's chest, sucking and bruising.
"D-Dean, oh please- Oh Dean- Oh please Dean..." Cas moaned. Cas dug his fingers into Dean's hair as Dean sucked, moving to a nipple and delightfully abused it. Dean's hands rested on Cas's hips, gripping them with anticipation. But Cas's grip tightened seriously. "Dean, wait." Dean stopped and looked up at him. Goddamn was all he could think when he saw those beautiful blue eyes so dilated for him.
"What's wrong Cas?" Dean asked; totally serious. Almost too serious because Cas blushed.
"I'm still..." he chuckled lightly, blushing more, "I'm still a virgin." Dean nearly choked with laughter. He kissed Cas and continued to laugh.
"Oh Cas, don't ever change." Dean and Castiel smiled. And Castiel leaned up to kiss him. It felt like the first time every time he did that. Dean's stomach fluttered and his chest swelled.
"Dean, it's okay if you do things to me." Cas said, taking Dean's palm and putting it on his own chest. His eyes flickered back up to Dean, who was ready for anything. "No matter how dirty they may be." He added with a small smile. He then slowly unbuckled Dean's belt, sliding it out through the loops of his jeans. Dean in turn, nearly ripped off Cas's dress pants, sliding a hand up the ex-angel's leg. Cas then, with some new-found confidence, sat up, knocked Dean over onto his back and climbed on top of the hunter. His eyes were predatory, waiting, wanting Dean.
"Cas, I-I need you." Dean gasped. Cas was fucking warm. No, not warm. Castiel's bare skin was hot against Dean's. "Please..." he begged.
"Please what, Dean?" Cas asked, and although he was actually only curious to see what Dean had to say, it was more of a tease to Dean.
"I need you, Cas." Dean said, his breath stolen from him as he looked up at the man he loved.
"I believe that you mean more than what you say, Dean." was all Cas said. Something reminded Dean of Sam in that instance. Sam and all the hopelessness that was associated with him at the moment. Maybe it was because Dean did mean something else. Every time he said "I need you" to Cas, he really had meant; "I love you". And love had several layers of meaning to Dean Winchester. There was Sam, who he loved as his brother; his family, there was Jo whom he loved as a just a little more than a sister, there was Bobby, whom he loved like a father, and then there was Cas. Cas was family. Cas was more than family. He was everything Dean had wanted. Cas was everything he had. And somehow, when Cas had implied something about love, Dean's thoughts wandered to Sam. Cas must have been reading his thoughts, because he sat up and pulled Dean up as well. He pulled the hunter close into a hug. It was the same hug Dean had given the ex-angel the night every angel in heaven had fallen to Earth and Castiel had cried in Dean's arms. Well it was Dean's turn to break down. His shoulders shook and his eyes filled themselves with water. Cas held the base of Dean's neck and rubbed the side of his head soothingly against Dean's. Dean's tears fell and he wrapped his arms around Cas's middle. The tears dripped onto Cas's bare chest as Dean pushed his face there. And then, he did something he had not done in forever. He let everything-every emotion he ever bottled up-he let them go. He cried, sobbed, screamed, gasped, moaned, coughed, and his emotions poured out of him. And Cas was beautiful: he said nothing, but simply stroked Dean's hair and kissed the top of Dean's head lightly.
"Cas..." Dean whimpered weakly; sniffling. The ex-angel looked down at his hunter for the first time in the last thirty minutes that Dean'd been crying. "I'm so sorry, I don't mean to do this to you right now, I just... Sammy, he needs me, and I'm afraid he won't pull outta this one, and I don't know what I'll do without him and I need to...to keep him...keep him alive because...because...he's my little brother." Dean's voice finally gave way and broke. And he finally fell over - had Cas not caught him. He held his man in his arms, cradling him. Dean was on his back on Cas's lap, staring up into Castiel's blue eyes as tears flowed out the sides of his own. "Ca-a-as, I can't...I can't do it. I can't pull the plug on Sam..." Dean wailed. Cas only looked down at him and said nothing. He simply stroked Dean's hair and face, and looked down t him. His eyes showed Dean comfort he had never thought the angel would understand. Angels, in Dean's opinion, were cold-hearted bastards untill Cas. Okay, so maybe Anna wasn't that bad, at least, up untill she went psycho and tried to murder Dean's parents. But Anna had been human for a time. Ca had been human for exactly 24 hours. He couldn't have learned that much in that short of time. So had Cas known more than he was letting on the entire time? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he had picked it up from Dean or Sam or Bobby. Dean had no way of knowing. All he did know was that 1. Burt and Ernie were gay, and 2. he loved Castiel, his human-angel. He reached a hand up shakily to place it on Cas's cheek. His cheek was warm and comforting. Cas closed his eyes and leaned slightly into Dean's hand. "Cas, I need you." Dean whispered softly to his ex-angel. The man in question opened his eyes and looked at Dean. It was then he finally spoke.
"I know you do Dean. And I know what you mean when you say that you need me. I know that "I need you" is Dean Winchester for "I love you"." Cas confessed. Dean, smiled. Maybe he was relieved, but it didn't matter. He just leaned up and kissed Cas.
"Thank you, babe. I really, really do..." He was going to say need, but Dean knew Cas deserved more than just need. "I love you, Cas." He said carefully after a deep breath. Cas only smiled, and pulled Dean up in his arms, kissing him.
"I need you too Dean because I love you too." Dean smiled back. He smiled so wide he thought his face might split in two. Cas chuckled lightly, and pulled Dean up again, kissing him repeatedly. Light, quick kisses that were followed up with a hug and a few laughs from both men. Finally, finally they had gutted it out. And damnit, if it didn't feel good.
"I love you, Castiel." Dean repeated. He had to say it again. He just had to.
"I love you as well, Dean."
"Promise you'll always stay by my side?" Dean asked. So what if it was a bit girly? Dean didn't care; there was no one around but Cas. And he was more than okay with just that. He always had, and always would be from that point on.
"Dean, when the world ends, I will be right here with you. With just you."
~fin~