Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first time was an accident, or, Seungcheol wished it was an accident.

 /

The air was hot and humid. It hung around Seungcheol’s body, and it was like a vacuum, pulling out all the sweat they could get from his body. It was suffocating, even without his shirt or his blanket covering him. He knows the culprit behind it, of course. He decided that he had had enough once he felt the sweat trickle down his back, and with a low grunt, got up.

Jeonghan’s bed was above him, so it was simple to climb up. Jeonghan's feet faced the ladder and the air conditioner, so Seungcheol's head could only barely miss hitting the air conditioner in his half-asleep daze. 

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol whispered. It comes out hoarse and gruff, and it feels like something’s scraping in his throat due to its dryness. Though, it doesn’t stop him from calling out Jeonghan’s name another time. This time, he nudges Jeonghan’s ass, which elicits an annoyed groan from the culprit.

“What” Jeonghan whispers back, annoyed in his sleep. Seungcheol wondered how he had a blanket covering his entire being and not a lick of sweat on his forehead. He knew Jeonghan always felt cold, explaining why he always turned to leeching off the other member's warmth, but not this cold.

“Stop turning the air conditioner off,” Seungcheol says it like a command. Though he knew it would take more than that for Jeonghan to even listen, before following through something against his will.

Proving that point, Jeonghan whines and turned to the other side. “–‘s cold,”

“What?”

“Jihoon’s cold,” he replies the excuse coherently this time. Seungcheol looks over actual Jihoon, who is actually sleeping peacefully and actually very unbothered. Seungcheol remains unconvinced.

By the time Seungcheol looks over to Jeonghan, he already went back to sleep. And tired, Seungcheol turns on the air conditioner without his permission. Only for it to elicit a loud whine. "Jeonghan, it's hot, I'm melting, I need it on," he complained. Jeonghan sat up in response, bed hair and all, and whispered back.

"It's cold," - as if it was the final statement, and turned off the air conditioner.

"Jeonghan-" Seungcheol started to complain again, but Mingyu interrupts them with a loud groan. Seungcheol and Jeonghan looked towards the other bunk bed cautiously. They didn't want to wake the kids, after all. So in a softer tone, "Jeonghan," Seungcheol whispered. "I want to sleep. It's hot below, and I'm sweaty,"

Jeonghan pursed his lips and sighed. "I can't sleep if it's too cold, Cheol," he argued back in an equally soft tone. They stayed silent for a while, frustrated at their situation - until Jeonghan, tiredness taking over him, sighed and moved to one side. "Sleep with me then,".

Seungcheol looked at the empty space, confused.

"If you're too warm, you can warm me up, then we can turn on the air conditioner," he patted the space. "Come on," he mumbled, waiting.

Slowly, Seungcheol crawls beside Jeonghan, like a force was pulling him to and lies down on Jeonghan's other pillow. There was still sweat on his forehead, even some dripping from the ends of the strands. It didn't seem like Jeonghan minded it at all, as he ran his fingers through his almost-wet hair, and circled his arms around Seungcheol's chest. Jeonghan cuddled into his neck, and Seungcheol immediately begins to be conscious about the odor.

 Jeonghan is famous for tolerating and respecting the members anyway - from Junhui's need for skin ship to Jihoon's lack of need for it. It included Mingyu's lack of hygiene sometimes, Chan not wanting to be called "Jeonghan's baby" anymore or Soonyoung's lack of temper from time to time.

Now, he's cuddling Seungcheol like Jeonghan has never dissed him about the smell of his sweat before.

It wasn't the first time Seungcheol had thought "Wow, we're lucky to have someone as patient and respectful as Jeonghan - what a true angel" and though there are times when he wanted to take it back, he knew who Jeonghan was.

Jeonghan sighs and tightens his grip, and under his breath, he whispers. “This feels much better, Cheollie yah, you’re such a good heater,” he purrs. It twitches a feeling in Seungcheol’s heart and

Seungcheol wraps his arms around Jeonghan’s waist. It prompts for Jeonghan to burrow deeper. And that prompts Seungcheol’s thoughts to go deeper –

How comfortable is he with this? Is this behavior okay for two heterosexual men? Is there even a heterosexual explanation for this?  It’s not really the first time any guy cuddled up against Seungcheol. He remembers the very first time was Jihoon after he found him with red eyes, tear stains on his cheeks, fear in his eyes, and self-doubts on his lips. He remembers it as a pivotal moment in their friendship.

The following times were with the other members, other reasons like insomnia, nightmares, or the want for company. None of them really incited a feeling like he had with Jeonghan. Just friendship, and the want for the others to be happy. But it felt like something more with Jeonghan.

Seungcheol found out soon that Jeonghan felt the same anyway, as he felt lips against his.

He got out of his daze, to another session of half-awake dazing, but at Jeonghan this time as he pulled away.

“You look like you were deep in thought when you should be sleeping,” Jeonghan only mumbled that, and went back to burrowing his face in Seungcheol’s sticky, sweaty neck. Seungcheol didn’t know what he expected.

There could not be a heterosexual way to explain this. And even if there was a way, Seungcheol would deny it anyway.

He’s not heterosexual. Definitely not, after admiring Jeonghan’s now-blonde hair which seemingly looked like it was glowing under the faint moonlight that seeped through the curtains; Not after he stared at Jeonghan’s eyelashes and how pretty his cheeks was; And definitely not, after he looks at Jeonghan’s lips and thinks about making a move himself.

Seungcheol doesn’t make a move.

The main reason being, Jeonghan’s asleep. And also maybe he was scared that that kiss was just a result of a fever dream. Was it even a kiss? It was more like the brushing of lips, Seungcheol didn’t know, - there could be a Rules of Kisses book that he didn’t know about.

Jeonghan stirs, and his heart follows, but he only moves his position to be comfortable. “Goodnight Cheollie,” he whispers. “I love you,”

Seungcheol looks down again at Jeonghan, and he decides that he will never have rest if Jeonghan’s around. Seungcheol decides he doesn’t mind.

“Goodnight”

Chapter Text

The second time it happens, it takes both of them by surprise.

\

After that night, Seungcheol finds himself thinking more about Jeonghan. It distracts him during practice and his free time. Seungcheol said before that he doesn't mind - but he was wrong. He does mind. He minds a lot. So he makes it a point to annoy Jeonghan as much as Jeonghan annoys him in his thoughts.

He does several things; Poke him, bends his knees during fan meets, even yell a lot too much for Jeonghan's comfort. Yet, Jeonghan has been an angel about it. He tolerates it and sighs but the next moment, he sends Seungcheol finger hearts and air kisses after them. It fuels Seungcheol's fiery, competitive heart. He does it so effortlessly, and they keep up with each other’s bullshit so much. It’s almost romantic.

One example was a simple fan meet. Jeonghan pokes at Seungcheol first, telling the fan that something he would say to Seungcheol is "I love you". The fans coos how sweet it is, as Jeonghan sneaks a peek towards Seungcheol general direction. It makes Seungcheol not only happy and mushy inside, but most importantly, annoyed. It’s this feeling. The feeling of wanting to smother Jeonghan with kisses. But also a pillow. He wants to push Jeonghan off a cliff, and also pull him into his arms to never let go.

Seungcheol figured his next best line of action he could do; is to send passive aggressive messages to Jeonghan.

Who has the cutest sleeping face?

The fan asks him, and he can tell they’re shy about the question. Seungcheol gives them a reassuring smile and surveys his options.

1. Chan
2. Seokmin
3. Jeonghan

Perfect.

The morning of that night resurfaces into Seungcheol's mind. Jeonghan's body was warm and felt nice on him. His arms were around Jeonghan's torso and Jeonghan's hands were lingering near his ass, resting near his tailbone.

He will never get Jeonghan's obsession with asses. Especially his ass. And Joshua's too.

The moment taught Seungcheol the meaning of living in the moment. Truly, living in the moment. He spent that moment only looking at Jeonghan’s face, staring longer than he should.

Jeonghan is beautiful, was his first thought. His second was, 'No shit duh,’

Jeonghan cheeks were red with warmth. There were even outlines on his skin that indicated that he was lying on a crease on the bed for far too long. His hair was a mess, and some strands even catches between his lips, and his lips -. His lips were agape which led to a line of drool. He does that whenever he had a full and comfortable sleep. He's the image of imperfection, and Seungcheol's heart can’t help but swell.

Seungcheol has a lot of moments he keeps close to himself, like when he first met his members or their debut. The moment when he had his first fan-gift or the moment when he learned of his first fan-site. Those moments were as equal to this moment right here, when Jeonghan is in his arms, safe and sound. Hell, it might even be more special.

He circles Jeonghan's name with a warmth spreading throughout his chest.

He continues his chat with the fan, who giggles at the answer Seungcheol has given them. Jeonghan learns of what Seungcheol had done sooner or later, and he's so happy for being chosen that he sticks his hand down Seungcheol's back pocket to grope his ass while he talks to the Carats.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan find themselves alone in the dressing room. There's tension in the air, and the silence only made it thicker. There is no doubt that there's an unspoken thing between them. Jeonghan takes his clothes from the hangar, and so does Seungcheol.

Why is it so quiet? Where are the other members? Why is it just the both of them? Why they are so quiet now when they were practically full-on flirting on stage? It seemed that Jeonghan is thinking the same thing, and behind him, he hears Jeonghan clear his throat. Seungcheol's eyes dart to Jeonghan's. They make eye contact, then break it.

Awkward.

"So-"

"Uh-"

More awkward. Jeonghan is smiling, though, and his smile makes Seungcheol smile. They stand there, clothes in hand, facing each other.

Jeonghan clears his throat, Seungcheol licks his lips.

"I thought-"

"Do you-"

They both giggle. Rather than an awkward laugh, it was more of laughing-at-themselves kind of laugh.

"You go first," they both say at the same time. They're looking at each other in the eyes now, and Seungcheol's hearts leap at Jeonghan's wide smile. His smile makes Seungcheol smile even wider.

"Um," Jeonghan finally says without interruption or togetherness with Seungcheol. He giggles a bit before putting his clothes over a chair. "So,” Jeonghan looks down at his feet, as he does when he’s nervous or shy. Seungcheol doesn’t follow that line of thinking though. He knows it’s a trap when Jeonghan says “I look cute when I sleep?”, and looks up with a tiny smirk and mischief in his eyes.

Seungcheol’s eyes take a similar glint at that, and Jeonghan only giggles in response. His hands reach out to Seungcheol’s out of the habit of being too close to him and Seungcheol answers. “Yes, you look cute when you sleep – and,” Seungcheol squeezes Jeonghan’s hands, “And you said you love me?”

Jeonghan smile turns into a fake pout. It’s cute, Seungcheol thinks. It’s cuter when Jeonghan bites his lip and step closer. “I was playing it out,” Jeonghan nonchalantly says. “You know. For our carats?” he shrugs, and Seungcheol laughs at that.

“That’s funny,” Seungcheol says and Jeonghan looks up to Seungcheol’s eyes.

They don't say anything, and the tension in the air snaps when Seungcheol leans in to kiss Jeonghan, and Jeonghan lets go of one of Seungcheol’s hand to hold the nape of his neck instead. They kiss. It's unlike his imaginations. His imaginations were electrifying, a rush of emotions and waves of thrill that hits him as they part and kiss each other again and again. In reality, it's nothing. It's nothing because his heart stops before he could feel anything at all. He searches for where his heart went for a second before Jeonghan comes in closer and he puts pressure on him. He loses his mind next, and not even able to even think when Seungcheol pulls apart for a second before angling his head to have the optimal kiss-ability; when all he's got is to feel. As optimal as he can to feel Jeonghan anyway. He's never kissed before. Jeonghan admitted he had kissed a girl before, but Seungcheol was pretty sure it was just chaste kisses. They are both probably bad kisses. It doesn't really matter, because Seungcheol's heart and mind is lost and all he could have is feel. He feels cushion lips that smiles against his, he feels teeth underneath. Seungcheol is equally clumsy but heartfelt. It feels good. It feels right.

A thump interrupts. His heart and mind start working.

Instinctively, Seungcheol pulls away and turns around. Jeonghan’s hands leave him, and he feels empty all a sudden. Mingyu is the first to come in, and his hands are full with food.

“HYUNG! Look at what the fans bought us,” he exclaimed as he waved it around. “And I was gonna buy food, hehe,” he giggled and settled in down to the floor. The others soon entered one by one. After Mingyu, it was Joshua. He smiled kindly at Mingyu as he bragged about the food, then eyed Seungcheol and Jeonghan with a cat-like grin on his face. Or at least, that’s what he saw before a full smile replaced it once Seungcheol looked at Joshua.

Joshua smiles innocently, almost too innocent, and when Seungcheol stares for too long, he cocks his head to one side. “Is there something wrong?” he asks, and he almost seems genuine.

Seungcheol shakes his head, almost with suspicion. Joshua nods. “Okay, I’m glad,” he finishes the exchange before he diverts his attention to Mingyu, who's taking the packets of food out of the big plastic bag to give out to the members.

He feels someone slide up beside him, and he turns to see Jeonghan around his arm with 2 packets. He offers Seungcheol one. Their hands brush against each other as Seungcheol accepts it.

It's dumb but they both blush, and their hearts register the high that had happened. It's thrilling, and only now does Seungcheol's heart beat faster. Jeonghan looks good when they came out of a make-out session. The flush on his cheeks compliments them.

Later that day, after the fansigns and meetings; after practice and dinner, they go finally go home. Jeonghan sits beside Seungcheol in the car as they head home, instead of the vocal team car. Seungkwan takes this opportunity to sit next to Vernon then, if Jeonghan can, he can too.

They kiss more that night. Making-out. They try to exhaust the skill, practicing it. Like an artist getting a new tool. Seungcheol learns that Jeonghan likes to hold hands during. Jeonghan learns that Seungcheol likes being nipped. They also both learn that they're both too cheesy for their own good. Most importantly, they learn that they love each other. After all, that’s what matters the most.