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“Listen to your brother, and be good, alright? If Mikael says it's bed time, it's bed time,” Mamma says, and Mikael tries his hardest not to glare at her, or his siblings. It's not their fault Mamma made plans without telling him, and that he made plans that are thoroughly ruined by this revelation that he's expected to babysit tonight.
It's the last Saturday of summer break and Mikael's pretty sure the fact Jonas agreed to spend it with him instead of at any of the number of parties he knows he must have been invited to - Even and Isak are making at least an appearance at Eva's, for instance, he knows that - means... something. Maybe just that he's really not in the mood for a party, but maybe that he has enjoyed getting to know one another over summer break too. That he likes spending time with Mikael. That he likes... Mikael.
So it’s just really fucking inconvenient that his parents have tickets to go see Tosca tonight of all nights.
It's a bit of a mindfuck, this whole business where he thinks he's got a crush on a boy. When his belly tingles and his cheeks flush just because Jonas did that thing where he laughs and his eyes go bright, it almost feels a bit like life is laughing in 2015 him’s face. And it was embarrassing as fuck when Isak pulled him aside and told him Jonas has never shown interest in a boy before, but he'll keep Mikael posted if he finds anything out. He thinks Isak’s still apologising for trying to hit him that one time, but it's not like Mikael doesn't understand. He kinda wanted to punch himself in the face too once he realised that Even wasn't coming back and all his texts were going unanswered.
He's gone through what seems like a whole world of love-the-sinner-hate-the-sin emotions and more than just a few rather intense (verbal) fights with Yousef before feeling okay with the thought that Even had tried to kiss him. He's not proud of it. He wasn’t even really aware he'd react so intensely to it. He’d thought he was a tolerant guy before that happened, but every veil of “I just don't want my best friend to feel that way about me” had more than just a touch of “this is wrong” to it. Mikael doesn't remember anyone ever teaching him that. Certainly doesn't remember agreeing with it. But there he was, his best friend kissing him, and his first and most intense reaction to push him away.
Anyway. Things were done and said that hindsight revealed to be sub-ideal, to say the least. Even and he have talked and cried and hugged it out, and it's all good now.
It's still-- well. It wasn't exactly a walk in the park, realising that what he feels for Jonas isn't entirely platonic. Mikael still has no idea what to do about it, if he's being honest. He has no idea how his parents would take it, if he were… anything that's not straight.
Regardless, he can't really leave it alone either. Jonas is like a bruise he can't help but keep poking. Only except for pain he gets exhilarating butterflies. (That's probably why he can't leave the whole thing well enough alone.)
So it's a tad bit inconvenient that the last totally relaxed evening he gets to spend with Jonas will be hijacked by his three miniature siblings. Mikael's not too pleased about that, even though Jonas said he didn't mind and that they'd fall asleep soon enough and there'd still be time for them to do whatever.
That's literally how he put it. “Do whatever”. What the hell is Mikael supposed to think that means?
“You be good too,” Mamma warns finally, and Mikael tries to relax his features when she leans in to kiss him on the cheek. “Will your friend be staying the night?”
“I don't know. Maybe,” Mikael says. “I can text you?”
“No, it's alright,” Mamma waves him off and then grabs her purse when Pappa clears his throat by the door.
“Have fun,” Mikael says, and his brothers and sister call a chorus of jumbled good-byes.
The door falls shut with a heavy final thud and Mikael claps his hands to get his siblings' attention.
“Alright. We're gonna have dinner and my friend will join us, and then afterwards we can all watch a movie together in my room, so try and decide on one,” he says, to immediate elation.
“Frozen!” David calls out immediately, all of six years but with a set of lungs that could probably yell down the entire house.
“Noo,” Mina and Adam protest just as immediately, and Mikael extracts himself from the situation the moment they start squabbling to go heat up the food Mamma prepared for them, checking his phone for a new message from Jonas as he does. Not that he's really expecting one. Jonas texted to say he was leaving almost a half hour ago, so he should be here soon, and there's really no reason for him to text again, but that doesn't mean he won't see something funny on the tram he has to take a picture of to share or something.
He hasn't. Mikael is definitely not disappointed or anything silly like that. Jonas is gonna be here any moment, and then they'll all have dinner together and watch a movie and after the little ones are asleep they'll have plenty time to do… whatever. He doesn't need to pine over a text message.
It doesn’t take long for the doorbell to go off, all three of his siblings crowding around his legs as he walks over to open the door for Jonas. Sometimes having toddler siblings is not unlike having tiny dogs. They've all met Jonas before, but he hasn't been over enough for the novelty to wear off yet, so when Jonas steps inside the at with a friendly smile, they all stare up at him with varying levels of smiles and shyness.
“Hey, man,” Jonas says, toeing out of his shoes and leaning in to give Mikael a back slapping bro kind of hug.
“Hey, you lot,” he says then, grinning when it makes David bury his face in Mikael's hip.
“Hello, Jonas,” Mina says. “Mamma and Pappa are seeing Toxa tonight.”
“Tosca,” Mikael corrects her automatically.
“That's nice,” Jonas says. “I'm sure they'll have a great time. What are we going to watch?”
“Frozen!” David yells again, and Mikael sighs as the protest begins anew.
“How about I go see which DVDs you guys have and we pick one of those? Let your brother finish dinner. It smells amazing,” Jonas suggests.
“Mamma made it,” Adam pipes up, taking Mina’s hand and letting her pull him through to the living room. The last thing Mikael hears before the four of them round the corner is Jonas’ amused, ‘yes, I assumed so’.
At dinner, they inform him they decided on Bambi, which happens to be Mikael's favourite Disney classic, and he suspects Jonas had a hand in the decision. The kids don't watch it all that often. When Mikael catches Jonas’ eye, Jonas winks at him. So. There’s that.
Dinner itself is a surprisingly orderly affair. There’s only one spilled glass of juice and all three kids finish their plates. It's a bit of a miracle considering the amount of vegetables Mamma is making Mikael try and feed them. Adam even asks for seconds. Mikael is pretty sure it's Jonas’ presence having that effect, whether they're eager to impress or it's just the chill he seems to exude, but he's not complaining. Maybe he'll just invite Jonas over every time he's supposed to babysit. Test that hypothesis.
When the dishes are cleared away - Jonas’ influence not enough to get the rascals to help out - Mikael shepherds them all into his room. Usually he refuses to let them in here, so getting to watch a movie with him in his bed is like a treat for them. It's not why Mikael insists on having his own space, but it's certainly a good bonus. They cram into the bed all five of them, Adam on Jonas’ far side, and David and Mina between Jonas and Mikael, and when the movie starts, Mikael lets himself be pulled in, only occasionally checking none of his siblings are being traumatised by any hunters. David has fallen asleep before it even happens, and Adam turns to hide his face in Jonas’ belly. Seeing his mop of hair and the tiny hands clutching Jonas’ sweatshirt sort of does things to Mikael's belly. Butterfly things.
Shit, Jonas is right there in Mikael's bed, but instead of that meaning anything, he's buried underneath Mikael's siblings, and the sight of it is making Mikael's heart pull a little too tight.
Mina is still, though barely, awake by the end of it, so Mikael kisses her hair and sends her stumbling into her room.
“Want me to help you with the boys?” Jonas offers, both of them still curled in- and onto his chest.
“Yeah, please,” Mikael says and grabs Adam, waiting for Jonas to pick David up and get up from the bed. He doesn't bother undressing them too much once they're in their own beds, distractedly humming a lullaby while Jonas hangs back and watches.
“You're really good at that,” Jonas says when Mikael pulls the door to their room not all the way shut behind them again.
“Well, I've had practice,” Mikael says with a grin, and then reaches out to smooth down a lock of Jonas’ hair without thinking about it.
Jonas freezes under the touch, and then Mikael does too, and for a good few seconds neither of them move. Then Jonas says, ‘thanks’ and Mikael isn't sure quite how to turn that into “you’re welcome, now kiss me”.
“You wanna go watch something else?” he says instead.
“So long as it's not Frozen,” Jonas jokes.
Mikael grins quietly and pulls Lucky Number Slevin off the shelf. Jonas shrugs like he's never seen it and that definitely needs to be rectified, so Mikael slips it into his laptop and settles back in on the bed with Jonas. This time there aren't any children with them to act as a buffer between them, and Mikael can't stop thinking about kissing.
He wants to. He wants to kiss Jonas. All he needs is to gather the courage to do so, or at least tell Jonas about it and hope he's better at taking the initiative. But Jonas is engrossed in the movie, and Mikael doesn't know how not to make it awkwardly obvious he's been looking at Jonas for most of it. Not to mention the ever-looming thought of being interrupted by his siblings. In the end, Mikael doesn't kiss him, but Jonas squeezes his hand tightly when he leaves. Mikael is pretty sure it's not platonic.
This may be the last night of summer break, but there will be others in fall, and winter, and spring, and even next summer, Mikael hopes. He's got a good feeling.
He squeezes Jonas’ hand back.
The End