Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I’m lying on a hospital bed and holding a hand of a person who I hold most dear. Everything hurts. It hurts so much. But I’m trying to smile and not let it bother me, because I know one person suffers more than me. I want to see him smile. Please, let him smile, let him laugh. I want that so much. Lately, we’re in the hospital too often. I have a lot of time to think… to remember, but remembering hurts. But even so, I have beautiful memories that make me smile. And now, since I have a lot of time, I‘d like to tell you how I met my happiness and how it left me. I came across my happiness 6 years ago… more like ran into him. My name is Eren, and my story begins in the freshman year of college and how every cheesy story starts? Waking up to a totally normal day. The thing is that it wasn’t a totally normal day. Because that day changed my life.

I overslept. Basically like every other day. I dressed quickly, cleaned my teeth, took the thermos cup of coffee prepared by Jean and ran to the bus stop to school.

Jean is my roommate. We didn’t use to like each other, we argued a lot and even fought, but then, when my parents died in a car crash, it was his family that cared for me. Our families were really tight, so they took me in. From then we become very good friends with Jean, and even found out we have a lot of common.

I ran out of the bus and to the school. That's when my cell phone beeped. I took the small device out of my pocket to look at who was writing to me.

And then it happened. 

„Oh, my God! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,“ I said to the smaller man in a black suit, whom I bumped into.

„What the hell do you mean by that?“ he snapped at me. „N-nothing at all. J-just that I wasn’t paying attention. I’m really sorry,“ I stammered.

I have to admit that I was quite embarrassed by his voice. Even though he was pretty upset, his voice sounded lovely. I looked around at the papers that were scattered on the ground, the papers he probably held in his hands a few seconds ago. I bent down and began collecting them. He did the same. When I handed him the papers I collected, I ended up looking into his eyes. My God, those eyes. He had beautiful steel, coloured eyes. I could drown in them all day and wouldn’t be bored. I have never seen anyone with such perfect eyes.

„Wow.“ Oh, my God! Did I say that out loud?

I quickly recovered, shoving the papers into his arms, I ran to the school that was right in front of us. I went to the auditorium, sat down and waited for the professor to come in. When he came in, he wasn’t alone, but he had another younger man with him. No! It can’t be him. Damn it, what a lucky day today. I just picked up that he was going to advise us about some firm that he probably works at and when we graduate we can too. I just sat there the whole lecture being hypnotized by his moving lips. Maybe that's why I was so abashed when he started packing his stuff and leaving. How long did he talk? Five minutes? Ten? An hour? Considering that even the professor was leaving, probably the whole lecture. God, what's wrong with me? I guess I’m going crazy. Before he could get to the door, I stopped him.

„Wa-wait!" I shouted. So what? I had to do something. He stopped and looked at me.

„I ... I wanted to ask if you have a business card or something like that ... the presentation was fascinating." OK, that was not embarrassing at all.

„Oh. My contact info was in that presentation, that was so interesting." Well, at least now, it could not be more embarrassing.

He started looking for something in his bag. After a while, he pulled his wallet and from it a business card, which he passed to me.

„Thank y-" I couldn't finish it, because Jean pounced at me and slapped me on my back. He was completely oblivious that I was talking to someone else.

„Eren! What time you'll be home today?!" he shouted at me. „I'm going to work, so at seven," I said. „OK, could you buy a pizza on your way home? Thanks!" He didn’t wait for my replay, and before he left, he put something in my back pocket. I pulled out the money from my pocket and put it in my wallet. I apologetically looked at the man in front of me.

„Boyfriend?" he asked while raising his eyebrow.

„N-no! Just a roommate and a long-time friend.“ Why I'm telling him all this, I don't know him anyway.

„Oh. Bye," he answered. Well, he's not very pleasant.

-----

All-day at school I was thinking about that man. Levi Ackerman, Deputy Director of Survey Corps. That’s what was on the business card. When I went to the cafe where I'm working a part-time job at I was in a good mood. The shift was relatively calm.

„There is a guy at six, can you get that, please?" Mikasa whispered. „Yeah, I'm on it," I got up and went to the table where the newcomer sat.

„Hello, are you ready to order?" I looked up and saw one surprised looking Levi Ackerman.

„Stalker?" he asked me in a cold voice.

„I'd rather say a coincidence," I said.

„Three times a day, that's no coincidence," he answered amusedly.

„And what about fate?" I smiled at him. He looked at me and smiled slightly, but instantly lowered his eyes and looked at the beverages.

„Black tea and one chocolate cake," the raven-haired man ordered dryly.

I left the table and shortly returned with his order. He didn’t even look up, thanked quietly and occupied himself with some documents he had on the table.

After the shift, I went for Jean's pizza and then straight home where I threw it on the table and went to my room. For the rest of the evening, I thought of him. His beautiful black hair the perfect steel eyes and narrow lips. With that image, I fell asleep.

Chapter Text

I feel like I was thinking about Levi the whole week. I could not stop thinking about him. Looking back, I see how much I've been in love. Love at first sight. At that time, of course, I didn't want to admit it. After a week I met him again at the cafe. Maybe he went there on purpose, perhaps he also couldn’t stop thinking about me. I don’t know.

"Mikasa, leave me the guy on six, I'll be right there," I wanted to talk to him again.

"Hello, what can I get you, Mr Ackerman?" I smiled. He didn’t look shocked but kept returning me a silent look for a long time.

"Black Tea and Chocolate Cake, thank you," He responded without emotion.

Looks like he doesn’t care for me much. I should probably stop thinking about him. I turned on my heel and left. When I came with his order, he looked up at me and smiled briefly for a moment. I stopped moving and stared at him.

“Wanna join me?” he asked. At that moment, a broad smile spread across my face.

"My shift will end in a minute, so why not," I replied and went back to change.

When I changed, I made myself a latte and went to sit at the table number six. We stared at each other for a while, none of us knew how to start. I was quite nervous from the older men's strong presence, but he seemed completely unfazed. After a while, he started asking me about the school, my grades etc.

"Tell me about yourself, please," I told him.

"I'm not very interesting Eren," I stopped for a bit at how he addressed me.

"Oh, come on. Maybe something about your family, what you like to do, like that," I said with a smile, "I'm busy with my work, and I don’t have a family," right, that was brief.

"And what about work?" I asked after a moment.

He talked a lot more about this topic, and I was thrilled. I felt so comfortable with him, and his voice calmed me down.

"Eren, we're closing," Mikasa interrupted us. "Y-yeah, we're going," I smiled at her.

"We could go to mine for coffee or tea. I live nearby," I told Levi.

Somehow I couldn’t let him leave. I wanted him to be with me as long as possible, telling me about his work or anything else really.

"Do you normally take strangers to your home?” Levi raised his eyebrow. "You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but I just have nothing to do, and I would appreciate a nice company," I replied pleasantly.

"You’re one of the few people who actually enjoy my presence," he answered, and I had to smile.

He suddenly seemed more relaxed. We left the café in the direction of my apartment. It was just a few streets, so Levi left his car at the café. When we came home, I first checked to see if Jean was home. He wasn’t, he got probably hold up at football training. I made black tea for Levi and coffee for myself. We settled in the living room and talked. Mostly about his work and my school. After a while, I went to get us some biscuits, and when I returned, Levi stood by the glass-cabinet, where we had photos. There were photos of our parents, some were with Jean and me and some with our other friends.

"You've got a lot of pictures," Levi turned around to look at me. "Yeah ... there’s not much left after my parents,” I smiled at him.

He looked a little surprised but seemed not wanting to continue, so he sat on the couch again.

"You know, I also feel relaxed in your company," he told me, and smiled a little, at that moment, I stopped breathing. What do I feel? I feel the blush forming on my cheeks I really hope he doesn’t notice. He was looking at me as though he was scanning me, probably waiting for a reply. Suddenly we heard the sound of keys, and then Jeans shouting from the corridor.

"Damn it! Eren, come and help me! I had to go all the way up to the mall for that gay conditioner of yours! And to top it all off, it started to rain, so now I’m completely drenched and pissed off!" he yelled over the whole apartment.

"Damn it, just shut up you choleric!" I screamed at him, while apologetically looking at Levi, who seemed to be having a good time. I went to help Jean, so he wouldn’t start yelling again. At that moment Jean came to the living room and saw Levi standing there. He froze, it was actually kind of funny.

“Hi, there” Levi laughed. “H-hello” Jean stuttered.

"Jean, this is Levi, he had a lecture on the company where he works at, at school. Levi, this is Jean, my roommate and a good friend," I introduced them and left with the purchase.

I put the bags on the kitchen counter and went back to the living room. Jean and Levi stood opposite each other, and it looked like they were talking about something. When Levi saw me, he said it was late and that he should go. I accompanied him to the car to say goodbye to him. Before he got in the car, he gave me a business card, whit his private number on the back, and told me to text him, when I wanted to. I went back to the apartment with a dopey smile on my face. Jean was waiting for me by the door.

"Eren?" he began. “Hm?” the stupid smile still plastered on my face.

"Do you have something with him?" he asked. "No, why?" that surprised me. But ... maybe I would like to have something with it him. Maybe. "I don’t know. He seems weird, "Jean frowned.

"Yeah, says the weirdo," I laughed at him.

Chapter Text

Since then, we have texted, called or seen each other basically every day. Jean wasn’t much happy about that. I remember how I asked Levi for help with a school project. That was the first time I went to his apartment. That day was special in more than one way.

"Ackerman," said a voice over the phone. "Levi, don’t pretend you don’t have my number, we're calling to each other every day," I laughed into the phone. "What would you like this time, Eren?"

"Well... actually I need help with this one project for school, and it occurred to me that since you work in that sort of thing, you could help me a little. Do you have some time tonight to come to mine?" there was silence for a while. "And don’t you want to come to my place? We'll have more space, and it will be quieter," Levi said uncertainly.

The comment about quietness was probably referring to Jean. Levi’s apartment ... It did make me feel a little nervous.

“A-alright,” I stammered.

"I'll pick you up at five," he said and hung up.

When a black Audi stopped before the apartment, I took my bag and walked into the corridor to get dress and then hooray to Levi.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?"

I collided with Jean at the door. I just stood there giving him a silent look, God knows what he would say.

"Yeaaah, I know, your Romeo is waiting for you outside," he smirked at me, "Go already." With these words, I ran out of the door. My heart jumped as I sat down in the car, and we looked at each other.

"Come on in, make yourself at home. Put your things into the living room, and when you’re ready, we can start," Levi said and looked at me with his steel-grey look.

I walked over to the couch, pulled out my notebook and found the documents I needed. I heard steps behind me but didn't turn around. Levi leaned over me, and I felt his warm breath on my neck. I turned my head around, and our gazes met. I don’t know how long we were staring at each other, and I don’t know who cancelled the gap between us. But what I do know is the feeling of his soft lips on mine and that I could not get enough. I leaned my head a bit to deepen the kiss. I felt Levi’s hand slide under my shirt, and his tongue started to fight his way into my mouth. This perfect feeling was ruined by the sound of a bell.

“Mm Le-Levi, someone is, ah... out there, some- ah- body's ringing. Levi,” I tried to put together a coherent sentence.

"Let them be," Levi whispered while moving over to my neck. Another ringing, "L-Levi, someone ..." Levi rose, muttered something and left to open the door. I tried to rid myself of the blush and the rapid breathing.

"What?!" I heard the swift opening of the door and Levi’s angry voice.

What will happen between us next? I’ve known my orientation for quite a while, so this is not a surprise, but what about Levi? He wouldn’t be doing anything he didn’t like right, but is it love? I was interrupted from my thoughts by two newcomers. I stood up and before me was standing a very tall blonde man and beside him a smaller brown-haired woman with glasses. They were staring at me wide-eyed before Levi came and joined us in our awkward silence.

"S-sorry, it’s just, that it’s not really common for Levi to have visitors. I'm Hanji, and this is Erwin, we're Levi’s old friends and colleagues from work," the brown-haired girl introduced them. "I'm Eren ..." I answered while shaking her hand. I wanted to add something, but I had no idea what. I'm Levi's friend? Boyfriend? Lover? Oh my God, what do I know? Instead of words, I just smiled and shook hands also with the blonde.

"So what do you want, that you have to bother me even after work?" Levi began kind of sourly. But they didn’t look shocked at all, looks like they are used to his mannerism.

"We came here to tell you big news, but first, can we sit down?" the blonde started pleasantly, and Levi gestured to the sofa.

I kind of felt like a third wheel, so I offered to make us some drinks. I searched around the kitchen to find the stuff I needed, but after a while, I returned to the living room with tea and coffee. I sat down next to Levi and listened to what they have to say.

"I know it's probably unexpected, but I'm pregnant," Hanji said without ceremony.

Levi gasped, but he still had tea in his mouth, so he looked quite comical and even poured some tea on himself.

"Levi, you've spilt a bit," I couldn’t help but say. Erwin started to chuckle quietly. “Wha-what? You mean you’re going to have a kid?” Levi managed to get out.

"Yes, it’s usually the case when a woman is pregnant, that after a while child appears," Hanji responded to Levi, obviously very amused and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing after that.

I stood up and went to congratulate to the to be parents, though I didn’t actually know them. Levi recovered after a while and also went to congratulate to the future parents. Levi brought champagne for a toast. We separated after a while, Levi and Erwin left to discuss something about work and me and Hanji went to make more tea and talk into the kitchen.

"Eren, are you and Levi together?" Hanji asked me straight out. "No! Well maybe… No! … I don’t know..." I emitted some confused syllables I hoped were words. Hanji nodded and smiled at me knowingly. "Hmm I wish you were, you are cute together," oh my God, I began to redden visibly.

The rest of the evening went relatively peaceful, and me and Hanji became good friends. She was friendly and very talkative.

When Hanji and Erwin left, there was a moment of silence, broken by Levi who strolled towards me and stroked my face while whispering:

"Would you like to stay the night?" I was surprised by the question, but I couldn’t refuse. I didn’t want to. I nodded, and Levi kissed me. "I’ve never let people get close to me, but for some reason that didn’t work with you. I fell in love with you Eren," Levi said after a while, his gaze sliding away. I think he even started to blush a little too.

"I love you too, Levi. "

Our first confession, our first night together. We never did finish the project.

Chapter Text

From that moment on, everything was different. I was happy. Levi made me happy. We called each other every day, sometimes he came to see me to the café and sometimes we went out. Sometimes I slept over at his place, and sometimes Levi slept over at mine. But he was very busy with work, and I didn’t want to keep him from working or distract him in any way. In time, his workload magnified, I had a small accident.

“Eren, come on, I’m in a hurry!” Jean yelled at me. I huffed and shut the door. “Going!” I screamed while running down the stairs, but my leg slipped. Now, I finally get why my parents told me not to run down the stairs. Great. My leg twisted in a weird angle, and I felt tremendous pain.

“Damn it!!” I bellowed in pain. Jean was immediately at my side and tried to get me up. When he saw it’s not going to work out, he called us a taxi, and we went to a hospital. We spend there quite sometime before they told me I had a broken my leg and then the doctor put it in a cast. Shocker, that’s exactly what I needed. When the cast was done, I crawled back to the waiting room and collapsed on one of the seats next to Jean with a sigh. We set there in silence for a while, then I heard the sound of quick footsteps heading our way. I looked up and saw Levi. When he saw us, he sped up even more.

“The hell! How did he found out?!” I asked, more myself than anything else. “I called him,” Jean said calmly and handed me my phone I gave him before the examination.

“Fuck, you shouldn’t have done that! He has enough of his worries. It’s just a broken leg,” I hissed out. “Oh yeah? And what would you told him if you two met and you had cast, huh? Right. My bad. I forgot to tell you?” … maybe he was right, but so what?

“Eren! What’s wrong! What happened? God, talk to me!” Levi shouted and started shaking me. “Levi, calm down! It’s nothing serious, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. I’ll be fine in a few weeks,” I said as calmly as I could, but he still didn’t loosen his grip. “Calm down,” I said again.

He was looking at me quite perplexed. He wore a stylish suit, that looked really expensive, like work expensive. Damn, he probably drove straight from work. Suddenly his phone started to ring.

“Ackerman. Yes. I had to leave because of a serious matter. Yes, I’ll be back. If you can, try dealing with it for me,” he said stiffly into the phone.

“Levi, if you need to go, go, I can deal with it, It’s OK,” I smiled at him, “I’m fine.” 

He observed me with distrust then looked at the watch.

“I’ll take you two home,” Levi said in a much calmer tone.

With the help of Jean, I managed to stand up, and we were good to go. Levi didn’t say anything the whole ride. It scared me a bit. When we stopped at the apartment Levi turning around to look at me. Like this, I could clearly see the dark circles he had under his eyes. Looks like he didn’t have a proper good night sleep in a long time.

“Eren… do you need anything?” he asked me. “No, Levi. Everything is fine, I can handle it,” I smiled at him, caressing his hand and gave him a kiss before exiting the car. He was making a quite a sombre face, I have never seen him like this. I waved goodbye, and he drove off.

The messages were continually coming. If I needed anything and how am I holding up. He was so caring. Too caring.

After this, the pace of his workload got better at his work. He didn’t need to spend there as much time as he used to. Also, he finally looked well-rested and content. I thought my accident started this and that he wanted to spend more time with me. We often travelled and had fun. I enjoyed it… I enjoyed it so much.

Chapter Text

From that time onwards we spent together most of our time. I was happy, and I think, I can say the same think about Levi. At least I hope so. Also visiting Hanji and Erwin became a regular thing and we become good friends. We were in the hospital when Hanji went into labour. We even could hold the baby that day, it was amazing. When I saw Levi holding the little thing in his arms with the small smile, telling him some embarrassing story about Erwin, something moved within me. I felt tears forming in my eyes. Feeling a bit sad, that Levi won’t ever know the feeling of holding his own child in his arms. He always tries to soothe me, that he doesn’t mind though. Hanji often came to visit Levi with junior and as a result, I got spent a lot of time with the kid. At that time, I was living half the time with Levi and half with Jean. I found out I’m pretty good with kids, I could spend hours playing with him and reading him stories. Sometimes, Levi and I took him on small walks in a stroller. Other times we even babysit him alone. It was fun. Surprisingly enough I managed everything – school, part-time job, Levi even the kid.

Later on, the kid became a little menace. He was curious all the time, always asking questions but it was still the same adorable boy I adored and loved. There was this one time when Hanji and Erwin decided to make our lives more interesting and left us junior for the whole week, while they left on vacation. I didn’t mind though, I enjoyed it. Levi did too. Junior was four years old and a bottomless pit of questions.

“Uncle Levi?” the kid started after five seconds of silence. “What now?” Levi indulges the kid exasperatedly.

“Where is my mommy and daddy?” the little boy asked with interest.

”They went on a vacation, for a little rest and privacy without you. Understand?” he said straight out.

“But what about you and Uncle Eren? You don’t need privacy?”

“Nah, we’ll just wait until you fall asleep, shrimp.”

“Levi!” I hissed warningly.

“What?” Levi answered still smirking.

Rolling my eyes, I encouraged the little boy “Come on shrimp, let’s go for ice cream, yeah?” I took the battle screech in the answer as a yes. Man, the kid has some serious pipes.

We head out with the small boy on my shoulders, his whole body vibrating with excitement.

“Uncle Levi? Do you like Uncle Eren?” he asked innocently.

Looking straight into my eyes with a smile, “Very much”, Levi replied easily. That made me smile goofily back at him.

“Like daddy likes mommy?” the little rascal kept going relentlessly.

“That’s right,” he replied curtly.

“But Uncle Levi?” the little boy furrowed his eyebrows.

I could hear in Levi’s voice that he didn’t have much patience left, but he still indulged the kid, “What is it now shrimp?”

“Are you the mommy or daddy?” he asked with wide eyes.

We looked at each other and I could see the red creeping up Levi’s face. A had to start laughing, he was completely stunned, not knowing what to answer.

“Look buddy, there’s the ice cream stand,” I easily distracted the small boy, while still chuckling.

After the ice cream, we when to the park, playground and even managed a trip to the convenience store. When we got home it was already dark outside, so I hurriedly made a quick dinner. With everybody fed, I took our little charge to his temporary room. Unsurprisingly, even after the tiring day, he still wouldn’t go to sleep without a goodnight story. When his eyelids finally dropped, I could go to our bedroom next door. Levi was already sprawled over our bed.

“He sleeping?”

Turning around to get my pyjamas, “Yeah, just now,” I replied.

Instantly, I felt hands on my hips, then lips on my neck. We started to kiss and before I could say anything, I ended up breathing hard on our bed. Trapped by Levi’s body over mine and his wondering hands sliding over my stomach.

“L-Levi, maybe we shouldn’t. He’s right next door,” I whispered.

The older man looked up and kissed me right under my ear, “Exactly, he’s sleeping,” and he continued his ministration down my throat. I pulled away slightly, so he would know I meant it.

“Don’t worry, we’re gonna be quiet,” he smiled seductively.

Little out of breath, “F-fine,” I consented. In a matter of seconds, I lost my shirt and Levi was throwing his on the floor. There was little creaking noise near the door. I didn’t pay much attention to it, more like, I was too absorbed with all the moaning and the reason for the moaning. Levi’s hand on my…

“Uncle?” quiet murmur near the door roused us from our ‘business’.

Scrambling from each other, Levi who was particularly startled started shouting, “Damn it! Didn’t your parents teach you to knock, brat!?”

I swiftly put on a shirt and went to kneel before the boy.

“I can’t sleep Uncle Eren, I keep hearing weird noises,” he confessed guiltily.

“Come on then buddy, let’s read one more story, yeah?” I coaxed and started gently pushing him out the door.

“O-okay. And will you sleep with me today, Uncle Eren?” the sleepy boy peered at me with his big puppy-dog eyes.

“Of course, I will,” I petted his hair.

“Who will sleep with me?” if it this was anyone else, I would say it almost sounded like a whine.

“Are you scared too, Uncle Levi? Did you hear the noises too?” the little boy inquired eagerly.

“Ehm… something like that,” muttered Levi.

“Then, you can go sleep with us and no one will be scared,” replied the boy cheerily reaching with his tiny hand for Levi.

Chapter Text

Sometime later, about one year back Levi started to overwork himself again. He was sleep deprived, didn’t eat enough a got home late at night and in the morning left soon after waking up. When he was at home, he spent a lot of time in his study. I tried to be supportive and moved to his place. I still visited Jean, but just small amount of my stuff was left there, and I rarely spent the night there. I cooked every they so Levi could eat real food when he finally got home. The final straw was when one day he didn’t come back at all. The next day, when he got home at last, we had a fight.

I heard a noise from the hall. “Levi? Where were you?” I started the stream of questions straight away. He looked me with the horrible panda eyes again.

“Sorry Eren, I had too much work, “he answered curtly.

“Levi, look at yourself damn it! You look like a corpse. This has to stop, or I’ll need to talk to Erwin. You’re killing yourself with this pace Levi! Are you listening?” I ranted.

“Y-Yes… I… it’s going to get better,” he attempted a small smile.

“Sit down, eat. I’m gonna make you your favourite tea, OK?” I said a bit placated. Levi just nodded and went to sit down. We ate in peaceful silence, while drinking tea

“Come Levi, let’s go lie down,” I said with smile. The dark-haired man looked down into his cup.

“I just need to finish something for work,” he said calmly standing up with his tea on his way to study. “Are you kidding me!? You need to sleep too Levi!” I exploded again.

“Do you think I don’t know that? Stop nagging me!” he growled back.

“I’m trying to be there for you, don’t you see? I care about you and your health! I’m cooking dinner every day, so I know you eat at least something,” I kept shouting, not backing off.

“Then don’t! Nobody fucking asked you too!” he yelled.

“Fine, don’t expect me to be here again!” running to bedroom in tears. I grabbed my bag in hurry packing the necessities and fumed out of the building as fast as I could.

I ended up at Jeans, where else. Fortunately, he didn’t mind. We opened a few beers and talked about everything. I told him about the fight with Levi and the reasoning behind it. Jean was surprisingly understanding and listened to all my babbling. Since I was exhausted after everything that went on today, we packed it up pretty early. I woke up early next day and had time to think. Maybe I was too harsh. Levi had plenty of troubles at work and then I went ahead and yelled at him. But he seriously needs to let up. We should probably talk about this when we are both calm. I packed all the things a brought with me and left a message for Jean that I’m going back. I didn’t really expect Levi being home, going to work early again. I opened the door, kicking my shoes off and threw the keys on to the shoe cabinet. There was a jacket thrown over the couch a and on it sat his suitcase. Excellent, Levi is still here at least we can talk it out right away. I went through bedroom, study, and kitchen but I could find him anywhere. I turned around when I heard some weird noises from the bathroom. Suddenly, for some reason, I got this bad feeling and just stared at the bathroom door. With a deep breath I went to grab the door handle and slowly opened the door. What I saw… I don’t think I can ever erase from my memory.