Work Text:
Jim blinked up at the man who had just pushed him into the wall. “What do you want Will?”
“I want to know why I am no longer good enough for the world’s largest slut,” William Decker spat out as he pressed his lips against Jim’s drawing blood.
Jim fought him off and attempted to push Will away from him. “I changed. I meet someone and I don’t want you anymore. I don’t want anyone but him anymore. It was also clear from the beginning that we were just satisfying an itch. Why are you reacting this way?”
Decker ripped off Jim’s shirt and began to bite the exposed skin.
“No. Ow. No, I am not like this anymore. Let me go. Will let me go.”
But the protests fell on deaf ears as Will continued his assault, bruising and drawing blood. He was bigger than Jim and no matter what Jim did Decker held him against the wall. No matter how loud Jim screamed or how much he protested, Decker never let up.
---
Jim though about calling Spock. About telling his boyfriend what had happened. He didn’t. He knew that Spock would see it as his fault. That changing James Tiberius Kirk into a faithful man who wouldn’t cheat was all his fault.
He holed up in the farm house that he had grown up in with his great grandfather’s shot gun and hid from the people who he had known his whole life.
Every time there was a knock on the door or someone called his com he flinched and hid. The shotgun pointed either at the door or the device.
Most of them were just wondering where he was. Why he had disappeared. Why he hadn’t come into work for the last couple days. He just ignored them. The feelings of hopelessness and weakness swamping him until it was all that he could do not to point the barrel of that shotgun at himself.
The bruises had faded to just yellowish green marks and the gashes were healing nicely by the time Spock came home.
The sound of a key turning in the lock echoed through the silent house. Jim was wound so tightly at this point that he was surprised he didn’t shot a hole through the roof. Hastily he hid the shotgun and walked out to meet his boyfriend.
“Jim what is wrong?” were Spock’s first words when he looked at Jim.
“I was hoping for more oh a ‘Honey I’m home’ and a kiss, Spock.” Jim hoped he was flippant enough to fool the Vulcan, and suddenly all he wanted was the man’s hands all over him. A pleasant experience to counter act the horrid one that happened every time he closed his eyes.
“You are in pain. It looks as if you haven’t slept or had anything to eat in weeks. It seemed logical to ask what caused this. A kiss seems most illogical right now.” Spock said as if it was obvious to everyone.
“Why do I love you?” Jim asked and Spock opened his mouth to reply but Jim silenced him by pulling him down by his pointed ears and kissed him, losing himself in the feeling.
They made it to the bedroom before Spock pulled away, taking Jim’s shirt with him. It was then that he stopped.
“What happened when I was away?” Spock asked, his voice calm.
“Nothing. I got into an accident. I don’t want to talk about it. Come here,” Jim tried to pull Spock back to him and towards the bed.
“An accident involving human teeth?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Spock. Please come to bed.” He was trying so hard to distract Spock. To distract himself. The pain and the memory were crowding in and he just wanted to forget.
“I need to fully analysis you, make sure you are all right before we can proceed.”
Jim let out a chocked half sob and crawled on to the bed, curling up into the smallest ball possible and trying to forget how helpless he was. How weak he was.
“Jim?”
“I fine Spock. I don’t want to talk and I am fine,” his voice broke on the last word and he felt the bed dip and a warm heat at his back as he gave into the pain and cried.
---
Waking up and finding Spock’s side of the bed empty was no surprise. Vulcan’s needed less sleep than humans did. What surprised him was the smell that was wafting down the hallway from the kitchen.
Following his nose Jim rose and quietly padded down the hallway. He was greeted with Spock standing by the stove in just his pyjama bottoms making pancakes.
“I didn’t know that you could cook,” he said once he had looked his fill sliding into a chair at the table.
“My mother insisted upon teaching me, she felt like it was something that everyone should know. I thought that given the circumstances you would prefer this to cereal.” He placed the pancake on a plate and turned off the stove.
“The circumstances?”
“After your out pouring of emotions last night, I thought it imperative that I found out what happened in my absence. I know what happened. I just want to know why you didn’t tell me yourself.” Spock sat down across from him his dark brown eyes drinking in his boyfriend.
Jim felt himself tense up, go on the defensive, “You had no right to sneak around my back like this. I would have told you,”
“I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I wanted to know what was wrong and since you wouldn’t tell me I had to find out for myself. I am just trying to take care of you.”
“I am not some child I do not need to be taken care of!” He rose up from the table and raced back to the bedroom slamming the door behind him and sinking to the floor, all the feelings of inadequacy rising up to strangle him.
He couldn’t stop the memories that filled his brain. Every time he had been weak. Every time he lost. The crew who had died on his orders. The time his crush had picked the high school quarterback and not him when he had asked her to the senior dance.
And Taurus.
He knew that there was nothing he could have done. Nothing that a thirteen year old boy could have done. But he still felt like it was his fault. That it was his weakest moment.
“Jim, come out please.”
“Leave Spock.”
“James I am not going anywhere.”
“You really ought to leave Spock. I am not worth your time.”
“On the contrary t’hy’la, you worth all of my time. Open the door.”
“I am weak. I have failed. You should not waste your time on one such as me. One who so fallible,” he spat out the word as if it disgusted him.
“That is what makes you human. That is why I cannot leave you. You have all this emotion and are driven by need to do the right thing. You are strong.”
Jim felt the tears threaten to overflow again and he rolled away from the door so that Spock could enter. The Vulcan scooped him up into his arms and settled against the headboard with Jim nestled in at his side as the man told what had happened to him as he hiccupped and cried.
The blood in Spock’s veins ran hotter than usual as his lover told him what had happened.
“It will happen again Spock.” He sniffed, “It’s all my fault to. I always never said no. I was up for anything. Me saying no, doesn’t mean anything because it used to mean I was being coy. That I just wanted them to work a little harder even though I was so easy.”
“This is not your fault Jim,” Spock rubbed his hand up and down his t’hy’la’s back as the sobs died down. “None of this is your fault. I just want to know who did this to you.”
If Jim had been paying closer attention he would have noticed the rage that had seeped into Spock’s normally monotone voice.
“William Decker,” Jim finally sobbed out.
Once Jim had cried himself back to sleep, Spock left a note for Jim on the bedside table and crept out of the house.
---
Jim awoke two hours later feeling a little better for telling Spock what had happened and another good cry. There was something cleansing about a good cry, as if it washed out the grime of the mind just like a shower washed off the grime of the day.
He pushed himself off of the bed and nocked a PADD to the ground. He bent to pick it up and read what was on it.
It fell back to the floor with a crash as he bolted out of the house.
He ran until he got to William’s house. Will was the last person he wanted to see but he had to stop Spock.
The door was already ajar and he followed the sounds of screams to a back room.
Spock was pinning Decker to the ground with a hand around the man’s neck. In Spock’s other hand was a wicked sharp looking knife and red blood covered both of them.
“Don’t do it Spock,” Jim said quietly from the door.
The look that was on Spock’s face when he turned around almost made Jim back up a step. It was feral. He lips were drawn back into smile that held no mirth and his eyes were full of rage.
“You have had your fun. He knows never to touch me again. Leave him be.” Jim sounded hollow. It was only his training and his belief that everyone deserved to be saved that had him saying these words. That had him asking his boyfriend to save the man who had raped him.
“Spock,” he whispered.
That apparently was the magic word. Spock stood up and straightened his blood spattered shirt. He looked at the man on the floor with apathy.
“He will live. I only cut deep enough to scar.” Spock stated as he and Jim walked out of the room.
“You can’t do this!” Will cried out as he struggled to stand. “This is assault.”
Spock spun around “So is what you did to James. You hurt him so I hurt you. How does the old terrain saying go? Oh yes ‘An eye for an eye’. Be lucky I didn’t do everything that you did to James for I have three times the strength that you do and I would not hold back.”
Will whimpered and fell back to the ground.
“Spock lets go,” Jim pulled on his shirt and they walked out of the house.