Archive of Our Own

Lantern faeries aren't supposed to meet their parents.

They're separated before birth naturally, raised on their own and by their soulmate; far apart and independent. Even if they were to meet their parents there would be no recognition, no familial instinct to let them them know. They would just be another set of faeries.

Sehun, however, is determined.

"I wanna go back," He tells Jongdae, long legs extended over Jongdae's lap as they lounge in their nest, the sounds of far off birds soothing them into relaxation. "If we were birthed there they must have lived close. A pregnant faerie can't fly that far."

"And how would we know? Others could have been birthed there," Jongdae says realistically, but he reaches out to place a hand in Sehun's, sending a brief, calming electrical current through him. "And we had different parents."

"But, we have powers right? And timing. We were both born early Spring," Sehun insists. He's been thinking about this for a while, tentatively bringing it up to the less enthusiastic Jongdae. "You make lightning bolts and I snow and glow. It can't be that hard."

Jongdae pouts. "Sehunnie," He starts, moving to curl into Sehun's chest, looking up at him with fondness, concern. "I don't want to go so far only to disappoint you."

"It's okay," Sehun says, feeling the cool wind of the evening slipping into the soft nest to ruffle Jongdae's hair. Jongdae's beautiful at this time of the the most when his grows scattered, messy, and the shadows highlight all the beautiful curves of features, his cheeks and mouth, his ears.

"I won't be disappointed," Sehun continues with a sigh, pressing his nose into Jongdae's hair and making a pleased noise at the smell of lavender. They'd found a bunch a while back and stockpiled it. Jongdae's favourite scent. "I just feel like I need to do this."

"If it's important to you I'll go," Jongdae murmurs, nuzzling Sehun's neck in a silent plea, a call for sleep.

Sehun complies with a smile.

They're going home.

Sehun and Jongdae set out in high spirits.

The weather is fair, sun hanging high in the sky with a few clouds scattered. The wind is soft, gently nipping at Sehun's ankles as he sticks his feet out the side of the nest, ties the thick plant stalks around them.

They don't take chances carrying their travel food stores in their arms, risking dropping them and falling, so they tie the bags of film around their ankles. It's light enough that they can still fly easily; just light fruits, berries and some plants.

They can feed from each other to ease the need for protein and the need for comfort while they sleep on the way. Sehun feels accomplished, ready as he sighs and leans back into Jongdae's chest as his wings are coated for flight.

They're going slow the first day, planning to fly the river route and stay just above the trees; a floating kind of pace, at ease and happy. Jongdae wants to sight see, vibrating and shooting electricity from the tips of his dainty fingers when he talks about finally seeing the mountains, about traveling the journey back.

They haven't taken the river route since they first found a new home nestled among deep gardens of an abandoned castle and Jongdae is ecstatic. He chatters in Sehun's ear, voice coming in little bursts of energy as his tongue flicks out the coat the tips of Sehun's wings.

They have different coloured wings; Sehun's are blue, gold and frosted purple at the edges, while Jongdae's are darker colours. like sunsets on your back Sehun has always said. He loves them.

Sehun feels tired when they finally leave. He’s been lulled into a kind of quiet reverie from his morning meal and his wing coating, scraping his teeth affectionately across Jongdae's shoulder before his wings come to life.

Slow at first, and then quick as a hummingbird, Sehun shoots into the sky with the scattered sound of bells and the chiming of laughter as Jongdae catches up to him, swooping down below him to make sure the ties are secured around his ankles.

Jongdae is always the more attentive on, careful as he flits around Sehun, eyes wide and concerned until everything is deemed okay. They're still young, and Sehun knows Jongdae still worries, still wonders if Sehun's wings will give out like they used to when they were babies.

"Do you need a check up too?" Sehun teases. He's preening from the attention and can feel his soul shake with happiness at Jongdae's blush. Sehun grabs his hand, dragging him forward and over the river where the wind hits them with more force, cool and pleasant.

The river is beautiful today, wide and forgiving, its currents slow in the beginnings of Autumn.

"I wonder how quickly it'll freeze this year." Jongdae hums, hovering a wingbeat behind Sehun to take in their surroundings.

They've seen two winters -- one mild and one bitterly cold -- the layer of ice thick enough for their tiny bodies to walk on, skate on, wings fluttering at any sign of danger. Sehun is equipped for the cold. He enjoys the way it nips at his skin, frosts his wings, but Jongdae despises it. He curls up in the nest most of the winter, living through Sehun's essence rather than hunting.

Sehun thinks that come next spring they'll relocate south, closer to their birth home where the weather is tropical during the summer and warm during the winter. He doesn't mind. He can cool his body temperature when it gets too much and can dip himself into a pool of water and watch the way it freezes in beautiful, cracked lines.

They'd met some faeries last year speaking of the lake, the eternally thawed water with luscious fruits; safe and wonderful. They'd mentioned other faeries, a few pairs here and there who want to create a community; a leader among them who glows of light and sprinkles frost with his loud voice.

Sehun wants that nearly as much as he wants his parents.

"Next spring," He starts, unsure of himself after already putting Jongdae through a useless journey. "Next spring I want to find the eternal lake."

Sehun expects Jongdae to scoff again, to softly let go of his hand and fly forwards to kiss his cheek apologetically, but Jongdae moves closer, nods his agreement. "I agree," Jongdae says, peaceful and melodic into the air. It's humid enough to muffle the sound of their bells, to swallow the notes and hold them. "If other faeries have been there I want to go also."

"Warmth and delicious fruit and company." Sehun says happily, chirps a content noise as he dips close to the water, low enough to feel its presence, to leave a layer of quiet frost, but high enough to keep the food bags dry.

He's almost forgotten them, light and airy with the energy of his wings. Sehun glows happily as he feels a current of agreement through their laced fingers. Sehun wonders where they'll sleep tonight, wonders if Jongdae will sing to him.

He always does.

When Jongdae sings he reminds Sehun of the sea. They've been there once, seen it's soaring waves and vastness. Its never ending beauty awes Sehun still, and makes his cheeks flush blue with happiness and nostalgia when he thinks about it.

His cheeks are flushed blue now cold and embarrassed as Jongdae fits into his lap, sings gently into his ear while taking the coating from his wings. Sehun's feet are buried in soft bay leaves that coat the bark floor of the hollowed stump they've found. It's the perfect place to spend the night, and Sehun curls his toes happily into the leaves,

They're surrounded by balls of light, Sehun's little bits of magic and Jongdae sparks to light them. It's beautiful really, and Sehun can't help but to reach out for one, ignoring Jongdae's squawk of annoyance at being interrupted from his cleaning of Sehun's wings.

The ball glows blue, metallic ice catching along Jongdae's currents to shoot upwards, hanging in the air. Jongdae forgets the cleaning for a moment, stares at it in amazement before opening his mouth to continue singing, drawing the frosty electricity towards them, warping it with his voice.

Sehun can feel Jongdae's pleased emotions, a kind of thrum that transmits from Jongdae's arms around his neck, warm fingers pressing love into Sehun's skin. "Drink soon?" Sehun asks once Jongdae stops singing, once the film on their wings is shed for sleep.

Jongdae nods, taking Sehun's wrist to his mouth, tiny teeth puncturing skin to drink greedily, a happy kind of nose falling from his lips. It affects Jongdae.The drinking, the touches, the pleasure.

Sehun feels that twinge of guilt for only a second. They're far past their tears, their fights, their coming to terms with Sehun never being able to reproduce, never being able to create a child.

Sehun's happy enough seeing Jongdae's eyes crinkle up, lips parting as he pulls away, grinning at Sehun. Sehun's happy enough with kisses, touches that aren't sexual. Being born without tentacles has never been the burden to them it could be. a birth defect a pair of faeries had told them. caused by trauma to a parent’s egg chamber during pregnancy.

The way Jongdae curls up on top of Sehun, small and beautiful with the soft glowing light surrounding them, the lulling sound of the river nearby, proves that it doesn't matter in the end, that they can be happy just with themselves.

It's part of the reason Sehun wants to find his parents though. He's not hurt or upset. He just wants to know what had happened, wants to know if they're okay, and alive. Wants to look into the eyes of whoever created him and find closure.

Sehun wonders if his intensity about finding his parents is a birth defect also. No other faerie seems to want to.

Sehun recognizes the mountains before Jongdae. They're encased in white, snowy and imposing in the Autumn air. Winter is coming, and Sehun knows they could never survive past their birth place, where the wind whips around them and the temperature drops low enough to cause shivers in even Sehun's frosty core.

Right now they're a cause for excitement, a landmark of the halfway point between their current home and their old home. A place of heavy trees just at the edge of the river, and a little away from their birthplace.

Sehun had liked that home; had enjoyed dipping his toes into the water to feel the chill, and had enjoyed flying up to the tops of the trees to survey the land from up high. He never had dared to go higher than the canopy of the forest; they were too young, wings not strong enough.

It had been a dangerous home though; coyotes and cats and humans going on hikes. They hadn't been able to stay there long, embarking on the journey up the river to their current haven, before they'd found the decaying ruins, the overgrown gardens with abundance and safety.

Sehun is excited though. He enjoys the way the wind streaks along his wings as he pulls them back, nosedives into the trees at the exact moment and tumbles into their old nesting ground. Jongdae is right behind him, landing a bit clumsy from the shock of Sehun's sudden speed, eyes lit up and lips curled up with a kind of mirth.

"The silks are still here," Jongdae comments, running his hand along the edges of their old nest, looking surprised and happy. "If I fix it up we can just stay here tonight before flying over the town."

"They're a little damp." Sehun points out as he unhooks the food bags from his ankles. They're considerably lighter now from their journey, but he's not worried about food when they know their birth area well, know where to find fruit in numbers.

"Can you heat them up?" Jongdae asks, fingers playing with the protective coating on Sehun's wings as it dries and falls off like snakeskin. The wind had decayed it faster than usual, and Sehun shakes his shoulders to ease the stiffness of the film, resists the urge to whine at Jongdae to clean him.

Sehun creates a ball of light with his hands and dips his fingers into the warmth of it, draping his magic over their old nest like a blanket. He's glad he only creates light and warmth, not fire, as the silks heat up without burning, drying and creating a soft kind of comfort for them to sink into.

"We won't know the area past our birth place," Sehun murmurs as they settle in to rest, mixed berries crushed into a past over the stems of the tall flowers that grow near the banks. The stars are out tonight, and it brings a wave of nostalgia into Sehun's heart as he recognizes the view from when they were younger, more confused.

They'd just barely left their birth place when they'd made a home and just barely left their childish stage of learning words and gestures, of learning what to eat, how to eat, what's dangerous; what's not.

Now they're older, and Sehun no longer cries when the sun sets too fast; Jongdae no longer sings out of key.

"We'll need to be careful." Jongdae echoes. He's got a bit of purple smeared on his chin, a stem still hanging out of his mouth as he speaks. Sehun wrinkles his nose and wipes the berry juice off with his thumb, sucks it into his own mouth.

He's thirsty. Tonight he'll need to drink.

"We'll need to finish our food stores at our birth nest," Sehun says logically. He's finished his fruit, feels the cravings of protein, of energy and lifts his nose up to press against Jongdae's throat, tongue flicking out to taste his collarbones. "We can find food along the way, but carrying enough to slow us down is dangerous."

Jongdae hums, tilting his head back with a sigh so Sehun can sink sharp teeth in, releasing cool energy to seep into Jongdae's skin and making him shiver. Sehun drinks slowly, reveling in the way the electricity of Jongdae's energy makes his skin vibrate with a kind of intensity that strengthens their birth bond, brings them closer each time.

Sehun often wonders what it's like to feed for others, but to him it's a connection of power, emotions, an intertwining of their inner selves. Also, Sehun likes his meals tasty, and Jongdae tastes better than any squirrel, any rabbit they could catch.

Sehun isn't sure why some lantern faeries even bother to hunt.

Flying over the town that bustles with quiet life is peaceful. It's nostalgic in a way that makes Sehun smile. Their hair ruffles in the light breeze and Jongdae spins in the air, catching the wind to fly in front of Sehun. Jongdae is forever playful, a joyful light in an already bright world, and Sehun is glad he's on this journey with him.

It isn't as green here in the town, with concrete slabs of road and buildings replacing the thick leaves of the forest. Sehun has almost forgotten what it's like to be so exposed, to have to veer away from lights and open spaces to avoid being caught. They're older now, and able to fly high enough above the humans and the animals but they could be mistaken for faraway birds, but there had once been a time when they had to fly low, through dirty back alleys and inside vents, crawling where they couldn't fly.

Sehun is glad they don't exist here anymore, and he's even more glad to be going somewhere new, somewhere exciting. The edge of town approaches quickly, and Sehun can't help his need to dip down low over the fields, swooping through the air and letting his toes touch the tall prairie grass. The buildings disappear into the distance until they're specks on the horizon and all Sehun can see is the mountain peak, misty and ominous on the skyline.

He heard once, from a faerie that other lands aren't quite like theirs. That the tropics are far from any snowy land and that seasons only exist in certain places. Sehun can't imagine this properly, especially as the Autumn chill becomes stickier the more they fly, wings propelling them so quickly that the world is a blur.

"There it is." Jongdae calls out, a loud chirp that has Sehun slowing to a near stop, head spinning from the change in speed. Jongdae is pointing below them, into the thick trees of a forest, and he's right. Sehun recognizes the exact tree where their lanterns had burst, can smell the rich moss that his fingers used to touch constantly.

Sehun careens downwards without another thought, settling his feet into the thick underbrush directly in front of their tree. There are many lantern casings about, shredded and discarded and once loved. A popular birthing place. Sehun wonders if any of the faeries here had met their parents, had met siblings, had made friends and visited the eternal lake.

He presses a hand into the bark of the tree, eyes wide as they stare upwards. He can no longer tell among the shells which lantern he had arrived in the world from, but he knows in his heart that this is the right place.

Sehun wonders if he too, would birth a child here if he were able to. If Jongdae would. His wings flutter uncomfortably and the thought is shaken from his mind with a faltering smile. They'd dealt with this stuff early on, and they were both okay with their lack of future children, with their lack of sexual intimacy, but Sehun can't help the guilt that crawls through him once in a while.

Fingers curl around Sehun's wrist, and he jumps out of his own thoughts, turning to see Jongdae nestled beside him, eyes calm and mouth quirked. He can sense the change in Sehun's mood, and Sehun is acutely aware of his understanding. Sehun smiles, less faltering this time and gets to his feet.

"Should we stay here a night or should we continue forward?" Sehun asks quietly, flicking a hand towards the abandoned nest that sits a ways away from their birthplace. He feels connected here, energy sparking from his finger tips and into the sky. A ball of light skitters and bounces, illuminating the scattered leaves on the forest floor briefly before settling into a flower, lighting it up.

To Sehun, it looks as though the moon exists in the flower, delicate white tips glowing like a teardrop. He flicks more light around them until the entire bed of flowers is lit, and the leaves glow bright above them. It makes him feel calm and peaceful, and he moves to the nest without waiting for Jongdae's answer. He wants to stay here tonight.

"We flew too fast today," Jongdae chuckles, gaze warmer than the heat from the flowers and his touch hot against Sehun's naturally cold skin. "We can stay."

"And tomorrow we can explore?" Sehun smiles, dragging Jongdae into the hollowed space with an impatient tug. He's sleepy, so much so that he doesn't care about his windblown wings or the state of the nest. Jongdae however, is having none of that, and pulls himself up to clean Sehun's wings.

"Do you think we'll find anything?" Jongdae asks Sehun carefully. He sounds a bit worried, as though Sehun might be upset in response, but Sehun shakes his head amiably.

"Even if we don't it's okay," He means it, curling comfortably in the small space. "We've needed to escape for awhile."

Sehun falls asleep to the sound of Jongdae's humming voice, and the comforting feel of a rough tongue on his wingtips. They've had many homes, but it's here that Sehun feels like he belongs.

Baekhyun is peacefully nestled into his favourite tree spot, wings curled tight and smile on his face when he's loudly interrupted by a loud, booming voice. He wasn't asleep, but he was pretty close, and the noise is unwanted. His nose crinkles in annoyance as he sits up, rubbing his eyes to see a young faerie perched on the edge of his nest.

"Sorry to bother you." The faerie says with a splitting grin, vibrant red wings too bright for Baekhyun's tired eyes. It's late -- the moon hangs full in the sky above -- and Minseok isn't home to tell people to go away. Baekhyun's eyes narrow. Chanyeol doesn't look sorry in the slightest, eyes sparkling.

"What do you need?" Baekhyun asks in a sugary voice, plastering a pleasant look onto his face. He tries to be patient with the younger faeries, with their bubbling personalities and excited flutters. Baekhyun remembers being one, and in some ways still is one, chatter and excitement and grandeur. But that side of him is only reserved for Minseok these days.

It's a new thing for the faeries to live in large groups, for parents to see their young, and Baekhyun sometimes feels like the parent he never should have been, caring for the parentless faeries that surround him. Chanyeol is a good kid, bright and happy despite his hardcomings, but he's loud and boisterous in a way that has Baekhyun sighing back into his silks.

He's not looking at any weird plants tonight, and he's definitely not hunting for cool spiders in the woods.

"There are faeries at the nesting grounds," Chanyeol announces, and his eyes are shining with self pride. Baekhyun nearly chuckles at how happy he looks. He'd make a good leader one day, when Baekhyun and Minseok are gone and the eternal lake continues on without them, sparkling under a beautiful sky. "You said to tell you if that ever happens."

"Are they babies?" Baekhyun asks, stretching out his wings to shake the frost off them. He's more awake now, protective instincts kicking in.

"No they're adults," Chanyeol smiles. "A bit older than me I think. They're so cute -"

"Ah okay," Baekhyun interrupts Chanyeol before he gets going, tossing himself out of his nest to flop onto the soft grass on the lakeshore. Chanyeol blinks down at him from where he's still perched on the edge of the nest, waiting for his next order. "I'll go check on them but it's the middle of the night, we'll let them sleep and greet them first thing."

Chanyeol nods vigorously. He seems excited to help, leaping down into the grass with his wings letting off a spark of flame, as dangerous as ever with every movement.

"Don't burn the place up." Baekhyun mutters, letting himself fall over into the grass. He doesn't mind though, Basking in the warmth that reaches his skin from Chanyeol's wings. It's a clear night, cooler than most but pleasant, and he likes the way the moon reflects off the water. He always has liked it, even back when him and Minseok had first found the place, empty serene and lonely.

Minseok has only been gone for a day, away searching for new supplies and scouting new areas with the flower faeries, but Baekhyun already misses him. They're never separated for long, even in their old age, and Baekhyun could never fathom the idea of being alone.

He wonders how it feels to lack a soulmate, sparing a glance sideways at Chanyeol, who has turned his flames into animal shapes in the air, happy smile on his face. Chanyeol seems happy enough on his own, but Baekhyun will never forget the crushed look on his face when he'd arrived at the lake, and had learned what he was supposed to have in the world.

Baekhyun flutters his wings softly, before folding them around himself. He's too lazy to fly back up to his nest, and he knows Chanyeol won't be sleeping tonight, that he won't want to be alone waiting for the moon to set and the sun to rise.

Baekhyun hopes these new faeries will want to stay.

Sehun wakes to a face that isn't Jongdae's.

He's on high alert at first, sitting up straight in panic and stretching his wings to their full span, eyes wide and breathing shallow. Jongdae is nowhere to be found, and Sehun blindly reaches for a hand that isn't there.

"He's a feisty one." The faerie in front of him grins, calling over his shoulder to another faerie, an older one. Jongdae is there, sitting on an old log and happily chewing on a pear. He looks right at home and Sehun lets himself calm.

"Sehun you're not gonna believe it." Jongdae calls, beckoning a tired Sehun over to him with ease. He holds out his pear but Sehun declines quietly. He doesn't like eating right after he wakes up, especially when he doesn't fully rested.

Sehun wakes up a bit more, staring into space without answering Jongdae. He's distracted by the faerie that had woken him up, wings a brilliant red colour he's never seen before, eye catching and glittery.

a fire faerie?

"What?" Sehun says after what seems like an eternity, yawning loudly. The bright faerie has joined them on the log, fidgeting and shaking beside Sehun.

"These faeries are from the eternal lake colony!" Jongdae says with a wide smile, eyes crinkling and legs swinging back and forth. "Their leader even came to greet us."

Sehun jolts in shock, glancing from one faerie to the other. He hadn't come out here looking for the colony, and hadn't expected to find it until next year, when the cold winds died and the flying was safe.

"It's," Sehun swallows. He's dehydrated from his sleep still. "It's near here?"

"Only a five minute flight," The older faerie speaks directly to Sehun, with kind eyes and a bright grin. His voice sets off something in Sehun, a connection directly to his soul, and it feels like Sehun knows him, has met him before. Sehun frowns in confusion, but the excitement of the colony being so close overrides his feelings. "We can take you right there."

"Imagine," Jongdae says with a laugh, tossing his pear stem into the bushes behind him. "We were born so close to it, and we lived so close to it, but we always flew in the wrong direction"

Sehun is speechless, thinking of all the wasted time, of all their dreaming. They could have been welcomed into a group so early, could have skipped the grime filled days of the alleyways with only their essence to survive on. They were so close to home the entire time.

Sehun decides right then that they won't be flying back to their castle nest. They have to stay here.

"I want to go," He says slowly, twitching in irritation at his tired wings. "I want to see it."

"I was born here too," The fire faerie says excitedly. "It's our nesting ground. I guess you must have been birthed by faeries not from around here, or you would have been welcomed right away."

"Don't chatter too much Chanyeol," The other faerie sounds stern but playful, and he rises to his feet with welcoming, outstretched arms. "They're here now, and that's what matters."

"Is it okay for us to stay for a while?" Jongdae asks carefully, stretching his wings out in preparation for flight. Sehun can hear the cogs in his head turning, weighing the realities that Sehun never fails to forget.

"You can stay as long as you like," Chanyeol chirps, taking flight so quickly it nearly knocks Sehun over. He leaps to catch up, feeling Jongdae's wings fluttering close to him. "Baekhyun is always welcoming new faeries."

It all feels too easy suddenly. They fly side by side over the trees, and Sehun can see more of the pretty white flowers from the night before, beckoning him to say with them, to bathe in the light he creates for them. But his stomach is still filled with worry and yearning, with the want and the hope that maybe, one of the faeries here is his parent faerie.

His worry disappears with the trees however, when their wingbeats take them over a large lake, glistening and clean. Sehun rolls to a stop in the air, gasping out loud at the beauty of the place. A giant, hollowed out tree stands on the far bank, larger than the rest, and smaller trees line the shores. There are a few faeries about, with their toes in the water or their arms in the trees, happily chirping to each other.

The sound of bells, of laughter and joy is so much that Sehun can't help but to fly close to the ground, drawn in by the energy, the diversity, the pure amazingness of so many faeries gathered together. His feet run against the surface of a lake more beautiful than their river ever could be, and Sehun feels Jongdae buzz happily next to him.

They land softly on the grass near the large tree, and Sehun smiles at it, elated and tired with excitement, turning to Baekhyun, the older faerie to bow in respect. It's a habit he learned from the town faeries, and it puts a gentle smile on Baekhyun's face.

"Welcome home." Baekhyun says in a well rehearsed voice, as if he's spoken these words to hundreds of faeries in the past, but it still feels like a personal greeting, like he's speaking directly to Sehun and Jongdae to welcome them somewhere they belong.

welcome home Sehun thinks, and as he looks around he feels like he is home.

The first few days at eternal lake are incredible.

Sehun has never seen so much food in his life, has never been around so many people, so many jovial, peaceful faeries. There are even some of different species, tiny sized flower faeries and tall, quiet tree nymphs come for the protection, the socialization.

After the fourth day however, Sehun feels himself begin to cocoon, nervous at the amount of speaking he has to do when he's only ever spoken to Jongdae, and a few faeries on the road. He feels tired, keeping up smiles and being jostled, eating too much and having too many faeries touch him.

Jongdae notices, and pulls him away from the crowd of the faeries, a look of concern on his face as they hover hidden behind the branches of a tree. "What's up?" Jongdae asks gently, tucking Sehun's hair behind his ear. It's getting too long again. "You don't seem okay."

"I want to be alone for a while I think," Sehun frowns. "I know things will settle down and we'll get private time but I'm so tired."

"I can let Minseok and Baekhyun know you need rest," Jongdae says in a hushed voice. He's being purposefully quiet for Sehun's sake, careful and caring with his words. Sehun feels his body temperature cool down as the stress leaves him. "I'm sure they'll help out."

Sehun nods, pulling Jongdae close to let his head rest on his shoulder. He'll like it here, but some things are too much.

-- two months later --

It's been a calm evening.

There's a tiny fire going in the clearing courtesy of Chanyeol, and the stars seem especially bright scattered across a clear sky. Back home the clouds would have come to stay, and the weather would be too cold to sit in an open space, but the grips of winter don't come to play here.

Things have settled in Sehun and Jongdae's lives, but even in a paradise like this surrounded by people he now knows well, and loves even, a thought nags the back of Sehun's mind. They've yet to continue on with their journey to find his parents.

He's content here, being close to the leaders of the colony who sit across from him and Jongdae, laughing at the way Chanyeol mimes his stories, loud and exaggerated. Sehun enjoys studying the two old faeries, with Baekhyun's loud laughter and Minseok's quiet voice. They remind him a bit of him and Jongdae; completely different in everyway and yet made perfectly for each other because of it.

He wonders what they'll be like when they're older. If Jongdae will still cartwheel through the air even with old wings, if he'll ever be content to stay in one place without some kind of goal.

"We need to leave soon," Sehun says suddenly, with a voice of conviction. It startles Jongdae out of his half dozing state next to Sehun, and gathers the attention of the three with them. "Not- not forever. There's just something I came here to do that I still haven't done."

"Do you think you can still find them?" Jongdae asks in a light voice. He looks at Sehun with the same eyes he always has, trusting and loving and completely understanding. "There could be a hundred pairs of faeries in the world around us. We've travelled far and they may have traveled farther."

"What are you trying to find?" Minseok asks curiously, large eyes blinking as they stare directly at Sehun. "We can try our best to help."

"I want to," Sehun flails, arms in the air and wings twitching. "I want to find my parents."

"Do you think it's possible?" Chanyeol flicks more flames into the fire with a delighted look on his face that leads Sehun to wonder how he's managed to not burn the entire forest down.

"I think it is," Baekhyun interjects, and his eyes are shining. "You were born in our nesting ground weren't you? If we can figure out when we can figure out who. Births are monitored closely."

Sehun curses himself, blinking in awe and wondering why he didn't think of that sooner. But he worries still, as he doesn't remember any other lanterns being around when he had burst free, doesn't remember any other signs of nesting even while they floundered for weeks attempting to fix Sehun's flight.

For all he knows they could have been born long before Baekhyun and Minseok ever flew to the lake from their mountain home, and far before a faerie had given birth in their created haven.

"You're a light faerie right?" Baekhyun continues, and his fingertips begin to glow. "Just like me?"

"And frost," Sehun nods. "I was told hybrid powers were uncommon."

"and yet we're the same kind of hybrid," Baekhyun laughs with a twinkle, startling Sehun. He doesn't remember Baekhyun being a frost faerie. Baekhyun is still laughing when Jongdae begins to speak again, a chiming of bells that fades out slowly.

"When we were born there were no other lanterns though," Jongdae says, a hand on Sehun's arm in case of bad news. Sehun knows Jongdae doesn't want to disappoint him, doesn't want Sehun to be disappointed by anything. "It was just us."

Minseok's head snaps up from where he's been bent over, exchanging words with Chanyeol. His stare is sharp, making Sehun nervous as he fidgets in the grass. The warmth of the fire suddenly feels like too much and Sehun doesn't quite understand why.

"None?" Baekhyun says with a whoosh of breath. He's stopped laughing, and he looks just as serious as Minseok. Sehun begins to think the worst, shaking as he grabs Jongdae's hand for mental safety, to know that someone is there. Something terrible must have happened to his parents.

Jongdae shakes his head. "None," He says with a sigh. "We want to find them because Sehun can't have children."

"You can't have children?" Chanyeol is pouting, a frown that makes him look similar to one of the dogs of their old town, fluffy and delicate. "Why not?"

"I don't have any reproductive organs," Sehun says sheepishly. It's never bothered him or Jongdae before, and they've lived happily, more than happily even without sex, even without the idea of children. "Some faeries we met said it was a birth defect from trauma, so I always wanted to know if my parents were okay. I want to find them to see why."

"Oh." Baekhyun looks downcast, fingers curled around each other and face losing it's colour. He glances at Minseok, and then back at Sehun, before taking off into the air with uncharacteristic speed, disappearing into the hollowed tree that he and Minseok occupy.

"You know them don't you?" Jongdae doesn't sound accusing, only worried. He stares at the hollowed tree in confusion, and Sehun wonders if they were close.

Minseok lets out a deep sigh, uncurling his wings and shaking his head. He looks tired now, as if he's aged another 3 years in the past minute, and he looks at Sehun with a combination of sympathy and muted curiosity.

"We do," Minseok admits, pushing a hand through his greying hair. "We can explain everything to you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Sehun replies in shock, tensing up and squeezing Jongdae's hand. "Why not now?"

"I need to take care of Baekhyun," Minseok says, and usually Sehun would understand, usually he would back down because caring for a mate is priority above all us. Baekhyun hasn't returned and it's cause for worry, but Sehun is frustrated. "He would want to be here while we explain."

"I've been waiting my whole life to know," Sehun says in a rush of emotion, and he knows he's being immature, knows hes being uncaring, but he can't help it right now. "And you want to wait until tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Is all Minseok says before taking off to join Baekhyun. They don't return for the rest of the night, and even Chanyeol has left when Sehun finally gives up, fire gone and Jongdae nervous by his side.

He's calmed down now, body filled with weariness and mind racing with fear. Sehun just wants to meet them, just wants to talk with them, and even if they're gone he just wants to know what happened.

But he understands that Baekhyun and Minseok have led this colony for a long time, have led long lives before that, and Sehun needs to respect their own feelings, their own pain.

He waits, sleepless in the grass, wings curled around a sleeping Jongdae and toes poking at the charred sticks of their fire.

Tomorrow.

"When I was pregnant," Baekhyun's voice is quiet, interrupting Sehun's doze but not waking Jongdae. Sehun blinks slowly, turning towards Baekhyun in confusion. The sun is barely rising in the sky, and the pale light of dawn is comforting even with Sehun's growing anxiety. "When I was pregnant I fell and was attacked by a giant cat."

"Was the baby okay?" Sehun asks, feeling Jongdae shift in his arms. He's too tired to properly comprehend Baekhyun's words, and he glances around for Minseok, but only sees Baekhyun. Baekhyun looks like he hasn't slept in years, eyes bloodshot and wings drooping. His eyes speak of guilt, but Sehun now only feels worry.

"I hoped so," Baekhyun is sitting close to him, and his eyes shine as they always do. Baekhyun places a hand on Sehun's arm, and it's confusing because he's always kept a respectful distance. Baekhyun is a friendly faerie but the only faerie he ever touches is Minseok. "When I gave birth at the nesting grounds everything seemed okay."

"You gave birth there like everyone else?" Sehun is genuinely surprised. He hadn't known Baekhyun and Minseok had even had children. He slowly understands why Baekhyun had been upset the night before. Pregnancy trauma sounds terrifying and Sehun feels grateful that he'll never get to experience it.

"I wasn't the first to give birth there," Baekhyun looks solemn now. "When me and Minseok found the place there was only one other lantern there -- a lightning lantern. I always wondered where the parents of that faerie went, the first lightning faerie to arrive came with you."

"You mean?" Sehun is wide awake now, jolting upwards so quickly that it shakes Jongdae from his sleep. Jongdae looks up at Sehun perplexed, but curls up closer to his side and closes his eyes, not even seeming to notice Baekhyun so close to them.

"Faeries aren't supposed to meet their children," Baekhyun licks his lips and the hand on Sehun's arm is deadly cold, skating ice up Sehun's arm. It's welcoming to Sehun's always overheating skin, but his mind is too clouded to even notice the change. "But I guess now I have."

Sehun doesn't speak. He doesn't know how to react to Baekhyun's words, and all the searching in the world couldn't prepare him for actually knowing, but a bundle of hope and happiness bubbles up inside him beside the anxiety and the shock.

Sehun's parent -- his father he now knows this -- is okay, and better than okay, he's thriving. He's happy surrounded by faeries that love and respect him, and Sehun has even become one of them.

"I'm sorry." Baekhyun's voice brings Sehun from his thoughts and he blinks wearily through cold tears to see Baekhyun looking horrified. Sehun realizes in panic that he's gone silent, that Baekhyun could be worried, that Sehun could easily be angry with him for ruining his life.

"For what?" Sehun asks, and he smiles weakly. He feels awkward now, unsure what he should do, how he should proceed."I don't need tentacles and children. I'm fine how I am. I just wanted to find you."

"Are you sure?" Baekhyun looks up at him and in that moment he looks as young as Sehun is, a tiny faerie scared of the world and not ready to face the harsh realities that come with life. Sehun hesitates, wishing Jongdae were awake, and that Minseok was here to guide things. It hits Sehun then that Minseok who he still feels he barely knows is also his parent, and it hits him then that him and Jongdae don't need to leave, they don't need to go anywhere ever again.

"I'm home now," Sehun says with a crack in his voice, and he's suddenly engulfed by Baekhyun, being hugged with a force even Jongdae doesn't use. "So it's okay."

"I'm glad I put you next to that other lantern," Baekhyun says with a laugh, and he seems calmer now, breaking through the awkward atmosphere as quickly as it had been formed. Sehun can feel Jongdae against him as always and he's glad too. He realizes now that though some things feel like fate, life is still coincidence, and can't imagine what would happen if he'd been born next to someone else, what would happen if he'd lived his life never knowing Jongdae. "He's good for you."

"I know," Sehun says with a gentle smile, a side of him he tries to never show. "I wouldn't be here -- I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for Jongdae."

"I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for Minseok," Baekhyun laughs, and as if on cue Minseok's confused, worried and somewhat annoyed face appears over the side of the hollow tree nest, relaxing when he sees Baekhyun with Sehun. "Us faeries owe everything to our parents, even in a cruel world where abandonment is instinct."

Minseok settles into the grass in front of them, looking calmer about the situation than Sehun ever could be, but Sehun knows well enough that this is the kind of calmness that's learned. The kind of calmness that Jongdae employs when he too is panicking, when he too is emotional, but when he knows that Sehun needs a guiding hand and not more emotion.

Sehun's breathing is shaky. He's barely slept but the cool morning air keeps him alert as they sit in the grass and bond. Jongdae is still asleep but Sehun doesn't want to bother him right now. Jongdae has done enough in the past days -- the past years -- and Sehun hasn't seen him sleep this peacefully in a long time.

"Welcome home." Minseok says with a light touch to Sehun's hand, a shocking gesture, more so than Baekhyun's hug. But it's a genuine sentiment, and Sehun feels nothing but warmth and safety in the presence of his parents.

His parents.

It's weird to think about, and Sehun wonders if any other faeries have met their parents like this, if other faeries have shared the space in a way so different from the rest of their species. The colony itself is an anomaly, filled with different species and groups in numbers rarely seen, and it makes Sehun feel wobbly with emotion. His parents are the kind of faeries he can be proud of , faeries that have made a difference and will influence generations to come.

Sehun is definitely home.

Chanyeol sits alone, toes in the water of the lake and fingers sparking tiny bits of flame at the sand. He doesn't dare interrupt Baekhyun and Minseok, but he can hear them talking to Sehun and it warms his heart when Sehun's mate wakes up and begins to cry, when they all become closer and happier.

His cheerful smile is never on his face when he's alone like this. His eyes don't twinkle with happiness when there's no one around to see it. After all, Chanyeol's personality has always been carefully curated to pleasing those around him.

He hums to himself, a song that the flower faeries had sung to him once a few moons ago, petals falling from their hair as they danced. They don't know what it's like to be mated at birth, free to choose whoever they want in the world, free to dance and sing without a care for someone connected to their very being.

Chanyeol wonders what that's like. He doesn't know what it's like to have a soulmate, but he doesn't know what its like to live a life not caring about one either. He was born alone, without anyone to help him, without a name to call and a faerie to grow up with. Without anyone to love him, and without anyone to love.

And though he wasn't aware what was missing until Minseok had explained it to him, he'd always felt the void in his chest that threatened to rip apart his happiness at any moment.

Chanyeol had struggled as a baby without someone to help him learn to speak, without someone to hold his hand while he attempted to fly. Dirty, dying and alone Minseok had found him on the forest floor, wings torn and mouth dry.

Chanyeol has always seen Baekhyun and Minseok as the only people he truly has, even in a colony surrounded by faeries, by laughter, by love and by life. Parents in a parentless world, platonic soulmates that nurtured him, that taught him words, that taught him how to smile when he hadn't learned what that even was.

Yet now, he watches Baekhyun embrace his real child, and watches Minseok smile warmly at Jongdae, hands wiping his tears. Chanyeol thought he knew what a family was, but now he understands that he's been wrong all along.

If Chanyeol had a soulmate they'd be next to him right now, splashing in the water and laughing at his jokes, eyes that only know his own. But Chanyeol is alone, and he's never met a lantern faerie without a soulmate.

His eyes begin to well up, tears that streak like fire down his cheeks until his vision blurs and the water of the lake is nothing but hazy blue. Chanyeol blinks away the pain he feels, eyes looking up to a sky that's beautiful and yet so dull without someone to share it with.

There's a faerie flying towards him, someone he adores and yet feels no connection to. Chanyeol's eyes twinkle and his face lights up, grin filling his features in the same infectious way they do everyday.

His booming laughter can be heard throughout the colony, but Chanyeol is the only one that knows it's fake.