Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The bell chimed, and Dick went to the door to invite his last brother in.

“Jason, you’re late.” The man in question rolled his eyes, and holds up a paper bag from the nearest liquor store.

“I couldn’t come to the party without booze could I? What kind of uncle would that make me?”

Damian from across the room chimes in, “A sensible one, you idiot. Now put that bag down and come help me put up these streamers before Mar’i and N’aron get here. We can only expect Kori to distract them for so long.”

“Yeah, I’m coming. Don’t get your designer jeans in a twist.”

Tim comes out of the kitchen with Conner in tow, and the two of them baked up a storm. The birthday cake looked simply spectacular, and Dick smiles bright as the sun when he sees it.

“The twins will love it. Thanks guys.” Conner looks up and wipes his hair out of his eyes.

“Well I know Mar’i will like it, but it’s a hit or miss with N’aron. He’s as picky as Damian.”

“I am not picky, Kent. I am simply a man of good tastes.”

“Babe, you’re picky as a thorn on a cactus, but we love you all the same.”

“Colin, shut up. Now go do something useful like set up the party snacks.”

“Sure thing, darling.”

The men work in comfortable silence as they put together the last details for the party, and slowly but surely the rest of the family starts to show up.

Raven and Garfield show up, and their daughter runs full force into Damian with as much speed as her tiny body can muster, and the man picks her up, petting her head and crooning at her in Farsi. She engages him in rapid fire conversation, and Raven can barely keep up.

“Remind me again why you taught our daughter to speak Persian? She’s always muttering now, and it’s difficult to scold a ten year old for something you don’t understand.” says Garfield, putting down the gifts he and Raven had brought for the twins.

“Because the child is precious, and I am her godfather so she will learn only the best.”

“Damian, where are the twins?” asks Raven after exchanging polite greetings with everyone.

He goes to answer but Tim beats him to it.

“Kori texted and said they’re on their way from the campus now. We have maybe twenty or thirty minutes until they arrive.”

“God we’re getting old,” Jason moans, running his hands through his hair and throwing his leather jacket over his seat.

“I’m not old. I’ve told you this enough times, thirty eight is not forty,” interjects Damian, still holding the green eyed beauty and listening to her animated retelling of her week in fluent Farsi.

“Yeah, you’re not that old yet, but it still feels like just the other day you were in their shoes, in your first semester of college. The rest of us are already in our friggin’ forties.”

“Jason, sweetie why don’t you wait until Roy comes with Lian to have your midlife crisis, huh? Surely you wouldn’t do that in front of your baby girl, right?” This is coming from Barbara, who barely looks up from tying the last of the balloons to the display by the archway.

“Alright Babs, I hear you. Why don’t you go mother hen somewhere else? I have Roy for that you know.” He says this with fond exasperation, and Barbara doesn’t need to know where he is to flip him the bird. She’s just good like that.

“You know, if Bruce were here, I think he’d be happy to see us all together like this,” says Dick, a melancholy smile on his face.

“Yeah, I bet the old bastard is relaxing off somewhere in Honolulu, sipping mai tais.” Jason mutters, helping Conner fix a large decoration.

“He did apologize in advance. I think he said he sent a gift, but I’m not sure if it arrived already…probably not.” Tim surmises.

“Oh yeah, Alfred’s definitely rolling in his grave at that one. I can just hear Pennyworth now. ‘Master Bruce, shame on you. The young wards were so looking forward to your arrival. I’m rather disappointed.’ Oh yes, it would be something like that, alright.” Damian says, putting on a rather accurate impression of the late butler.

The four men laugh and sigh fondly in memory of their old butler, and Dick sinks into a chair.

“Damn. Jason’s right. We really are getting old. My kids have left the nest guys.”

“Lucky you…Lian, well she is only thirteen. She’s getting ready for the ‘boys are so hot’ phase. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it.”

“Preferably without a sidearm,” Damian chuckled, while ignoring the evil side eye from his older brother.

“I agree with Damian. Boys will be boys, so just don’t shoot the punks. Your girl’s a beauty Jay; you’ll have to deal with it.”  Tim has a thoughtful expression on, but he knows he and Conner aren’t ready to adopt yet. They might be late starters, but that’s fine with them. Damian and Colin on the other hand prefer to stick to animals.

The door opens and Roy basically falls through, tugging three suitcases in with him, and Garfield quickly offers a hand to help him carry them upstairs.

“Thanks Beast boy,” he smiles.

“We’re never dropping that nickname are we?” The response is a collective no.

Lian strolls in wearing mainly pink, and her face is down in her cell phone.

“Lian, baby, come say hi to your uncles.” She quickly looks up, and snaps right out of it, running straight towards her father.

“Daddy! I missed you.” She hugs him so tight he feels like she’s trying to break him, and he chuckles in response.

“Sorry, Princess. I got held back in New Jersey. I meant to be home for your recital. Your father took a video of the whole thing for me though. You were amazing.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and he pats her shoulder proudly.

“Hello, Uncle Tim! Where’s Uncle Conner?”

“He’s in the back helping Aunt Barbara with the food. Did you get good gifts for your cousins?”

“You bet I did! I got a pair of biker gloves for N’aron, and I got makeup for Mar’i.”

“You see, Jason? You should take Lian’s advice when gift shopping.”

“Uncle Damian, that’s not a nice thing to say, even if it’s true.”

“Lian, when you’re eighteen, remind me to tell you what your father got me for my twenty first birthday.” Lian nods, but watches in confusion as her aunts and uncles erupt into laughter, her father more than the rest.

“Okay sweetheart, why don’t you and Kiran go see if Aunty Artemis needs her hair braided? She looks a little lonely and I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“If you say so sure….then fine Uncle Dick.”

The teenager motions to Kiran, who happily jumps off of Damian’s lap before running over to Artemis, and causing the brothers to erupt into even louder laughter.

“You are a mess, Jason.” says Roy, coming back downstairs with Garfield.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

Dick’s phone suddenly chimes, and his eyes widen.

“Everyone lights off and hide! They’ll be here in three minutes!”

The next two minutes are packed with scurrying feet, hushed orders and frantic searching for hiding places.

Everyone waits, holding their breath, and finally the front door opens and they spring out as the lights come on.

“Surprise!” they all scream, and Mar’i squeals with delight. N’aron looks like he almost caught a heart attack, but he laughs it off.

“Mom, you said you weren’t doing anything big this year…”

“In your mother’s defense son, this party isn’t nearly big enough for her. You two turned eighteen. This is a big deal!”

“Yeah N’aron, lighten up. Thanks Dad, this is really cool.” Mar’i gives him her biggest smile, and nudges her twin who smiles reservedly in response. The two black haired teens mingle around the party, and spend time with their favourite little cousin.

When the evening settles down a bit, the twins are setting in the living room with everyone who seems to want to know how college is going so far.

“How are the classes?” asks Barbara, her career nature as a councilor taking over.

“I think they’re great, but the assignments weren’t quite what I expected after a look at the syllabus.”

“Yeah, Mar’i has a point. The fraternities weren’t what I was expected either. Unlike her, I have to choose.”

“At least you have choices here. It’s Terra Di Gamma or zilch for me.” She pouts.

“Hey, young Miss, Terra Di Gamma is the best sorority you’ll find in the country. All the ladies here are alumni,” Barbara states proudly.

“Not true,” Tim pauses, “Raven and Artemis didn’t board at the sorority.”

“Okay, almost all the ladies present are alumni. There’s your aunt Steph, your aunt Cass, your darling mother, your Aunt Kara and I.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like Terra Di Gamma, I just said I wish there was more variety. Madame Prince is a really lovely benefactor.”

“Ah yes, Diana. I swear the woman hasn’t aged a day.” says Kori, looking wistful.

“What about you N’aron, did you pledge yet?” she asks kindly.

“Yeah, I did actually.”

“Where’d you go son?” Dick tried his best not to influence N’aron and his choices when he said he wanted the full fraternity experience. As such, he made no comments about his house affiliations and encouraged his younger brothers to do the same. But now was the moment of truth.

“I… I pledged Zhan Kappa.”

There’s a few beats of silence before Damian starts hooting like a madman.

“What did I tell you idiots? What did I say? I told you so! Now cough it up, all of you.” The youngest of the four has a gleefully smug expression on his face as the other three grudgingly reach into their wallets for the bet money. Just because Dick didn’t influence N’aron didn’t mean he wouldn’t bet on him.

“You seriously had to choose Zhan Kappa kiddo? You couldn’t be cool like your Uncle Jason and go Theta Rho?” The man drags a hand over his face glumly and slaps the money into Damian’s waiting palms.

“Who said Theta Rho was the best? He would have been better off in Delta Zhi like I was,” snarks Tim., rolling his eyes and pulling out several fifty dollar bills.

“Well, I’d hoped my son would choose Beta Nocti, but it’s your choice N’aron…” Dick doesn’t even look as he dropped some hundred dollar bills into his brother’s expectant hands.

“Wait, Dad you never told us you guys were in the fraternities at JLA.” says Mar’i, suddenly curious.

“I didn’t? I’m sure I told you how I met your mother loads of times.”

“Yeah you mentioned college, lots of responsibilities, stress, failed dates and all the rest, but you never mentioned fraternities.”

“That’s strange. Well I was in Beta Nocti like your grandfather, your Uncle Jason was in Theta Rho, your Uncle Tim was in Delta Zhi and your Uncle Damian was in Zhan Kappa.”

“Wow, what was Zhan Kappa like back in the day?” Damian resists the urge to roll his eyes at the phrase back in the day, while his siblings just snort amongst themselves.

“What’s so funny?”

“Let me just put it bluntly. The Zhan Kappa you know was not like that before I arrived at JLA.” Damian sends a cold glare over at the trio who immediately sober up.

Somewhere across the room, Wally sings “The party don’t start till I walk in.”

Damian does roll his eyes at that, and N’aron takes a seat at the foot his sister’s chair, looking at his uncle with bright, expectant eyes.

He sighs and begins to regal his nephew with stories of what Zhan Kappa was like in the golden days, and all his adventures with Jon, Colin, Garfield and Raven. Mar’i checks her watch and then looks at her brother.

“N’aron, you might want to empty those things out of the car. I can help you if you want.”

The teen looks up and then realizes that actually did forget his things.

“Right thanks. I’d appreciate the help… it is a lot of stuff.”

Tim pauses for a second-thinking before he says anything- because his niece and nephew are being awfully vague, and he suspects they are up to something.

“If you haven’t gotten your birthday cheque yet, how’d you already go on a shopping spree buddy?”

“Good question?” The boy does a bang up job at a poker face, and Jason tries his best not to laugh.

“You can spit it out kid, it’s your birthday. No one is actually going to scream at you, unless you robbed a bank or some shit.”

“It’s… it’s prank week on Campus, and I asked Mar’i to help me come up with some cool pranks so I’d fit in. I just want to prove to Zhan Kappa that I belong there.”

The four brothers freeze. They exchange looks, and for almost a minute they have a non verbal argument about who speaks first.

“They reinstated prank week at JLA?” Tim asks slowly, trying not to freak out.

“Yeah, they said something about a legacy having arrived. I don’t exactly know. They’re supposed to be a child of the big four.” N’aron scratches his neck under the scrutinizing looks of the four adults.

“The big four?” asks Damian, looking mildly puzzled.

“Yeah, the four prank legends? Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin and Robin; you know, the veterans of Campus Prank War II?”

“I can’t believe it,” says Dick, “they made us legends. Our stupid sibling rivalry has turned into JLA campus history.”

“Wait what?” Mar’i is looking at her father and uncles as though they were aliens. “You’re kidding me right? You four are the prank war legends?” She immediately face palms and walks away, refusing to believe what she’s heard.

Jason starts laughing hysterically, and sits down to catch his breath.

“Sweetie, we dominated prank week. But the real legend here is your uncle Damian.”

All eyes turn on Damian and he still says nothing.

“You still never told us how you did it, Dami…” says Tim, leaning on his brother’s shoulder and being exceptional schmooze.

Damian scoffs and takes Tim’s hand off, and fixing him with a passive aggressive look. “Tt. After twenty years, you still haven’t figured out how I did it?”

“No, you were some kind of satanic worshipper who summoned the powers of hell to do that.”

“Well I am the grandchild of the Demon’s Head…” he muses, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

“What did you do, Uncle Damian?” N’aron looks very excited and the four brothers know that they are going t have to tell him about the whole thing.

“You might want to sit then. Your father can tell you this story is a long one.”

Everyone takes their seats, and Damian takes a deep breath.

“I was about your age when the whole thing began. I had been living with your grandfather for eight years, and it was finally time for me to go to college. Little did I know, it would be the start of the greatest adventure of my life.”

N’aron and Mar’i leaned it, enraptured, and thus began the telling of the story of the great prank war...

Chapter Text

Damian wakes up, almost getting out of bed, and subsequently decides he honestly doesn’t want to leave his room. He’s an adult now, and that’s wonderful, but he’s quite content to hide from his persistently annoying older brothers and his mildly disapproving father and butler for a few more hours. Or days. The human body can last up to three days without water, and he was sure he could last a little longer than that.

If he had to deal with one more ridiculous argument over something as stupid as a college, he would gladly pick up his katana, and run it through someone. Preferably Jason, because he was always annoying. He pulls the duvet back over his head, but stops when he hears insistent scratching on his door.

He gets up reluctantly to open the door just a crack, and his darling pet cat saunters in, jumping onto the bed with no preamble. Damian flops back onto the bed, and the cat rolls over onto his head and from a glance in the side mirror, it’s difficult to tell which part is his hair and which part is the cat.

“Alfred?”

The cat doesn’t respond aside from a gentle purr. The vibrations carry down to his scalp, and he finds it somewhat relaxing, and reaches up to stroke the soft fur.

“Do I have to listen to father? I don’t want to go to college right now. I just want to sleep, give up on socializing, and learn to become a veterinarian from next year.”

The cat graces him with silence, as his owner continues to scratch his head lovingly.

“Fine, I’ll go. But don’t you dare tell Pennyworth about this.”

He gets a paw on his mouth- an undeniable sign to stop talking.

Damian sighs, and acquiesces that he should at least get himself some breakfast, even if it means being bombarded first thing in the morning. He picks up the cat, a regular occurrence, and makes his way downstairs, with the feline hanging from his shoulder comfortably.

The minute he enters the kitchen, everyone is watching him. Even Alfred is looking at him in his peripheral as he pours a cup of black coffee for him.

“Thank you, Alfred. Now could the rest of you stop looking at me like I am some kind of specimen if you please?”

The men in question all look away awkwardly, and Damian huffs before sitting down at the island and receiving a bowl of granola and fruit from the butler. It isn’t long before one of them decides to thread on thin ice again though.

“Son, have you decided on what you plan to do? I’m sure your mother would like to know, right?” Bruce thinks he’s smart about it too, phrasing it delicately, and mentioning his mother to soften him up, but he’s not going to crack that easily. The teenager knows he was going to have to face this, but it was nine days of the same questions.

“Come on Damian. You have to come to JLA. It’s a family tradition!” Dick says, looking at his brother with pleading eyes.

The youngest looks up, and rolled his eyes.

“You clearly misunderstood me, Dick. I never said I wouldn’t go, I said I wanted some time to think, but I haven’t been able to do so with all of you breathing down my neck like a bunch of hyperactive little girls. Also, I don’t have to do anything. I’m the heir to two multibillion dollar industries that are mine by birthright. I can do nothing if I so please.”

“You can stop being an asshole about this Damian, because you know Bruce is never going to let you take a gap year. The rest of us buckled the hell up, and started college at eighteen too. I don’t know what nonsense Talia is feeding you, but you’re no princess. If you’re not going to JLA you’re going somewhere, because you can’t rely on being rich to build character.”

Tim says this without looking up from his tablet, as he was probably doing school work, or running new schematics to upgrade just about everything at WayneCorp. He flips his hair out his face, and it’s obvious no one would suggest that he cut it.

Damian takes a good long sip of his coffee, and allows the cat to sniff around his food before he answers.

“I’ve already made my decision, if all of you would let me talk.”

Jason goes to say something, but Alfred silences him with a glance.

“Yes, Master Damian?”

He sighs, running his hands through his morning hair before replying. “I’m going to confirm my acceptance to JLA.”

There’s a round of applause and a few whoops of joy from the boys, while Bruce and Alfred allow themselves restrained smiles that still meet their eyes.

“I find that the science program is sufficient to keep me on my course of being a veterinarian, so I will humor all of you and go. But I am putting my foot down on the subject of fraternities. I refuse to share a house with any of you heathens, ” he says coldly.

“Well that’s fine then, Damian. I suppose one of you boys would eventually want to board alone. You don’t have to join the fraternities if you ultimately decide no. Alfred will look for apartments near the campus if that’s what you really want.” Bruce says this, and he has this niggling look of pride that is focused on him, and it makes the youngest feel somewhat uncomfortable.

“Father, I never said that I didn’t want to join a fraternity. I said I didn’t want to join a fraternity with any of those three. I’m afraid you’ve entirely misunderstood me.”

He’s met with silence.

“Are you sure? I mean I still think you’re an asshole, but the guys at Delta Zhi would be more than happy to have you Damian. You’d do well there.” says Tim, looking up with a sympathetic gaze.

“I am quite sure you would grow tired of me, Tim. I don’t think that even someone of my over achieving academic background would be entirely well placed in your house. It’s not quite what I had in mind.”

“Well if you think old Tim’s a stick in the mud, why don’t you come and stay with the guys at Theta Rho? We can show you a good time, little bird.” Jason says with a sleazy grin. Damian winces in response. The boy knows all too well what the guys at that fraternity are like, and he wants no part.

“No thank you Jason, I’ll have to politely decline. I’m not overly interested in team sports and the… social niceties that you invest in as a party planner. I think I’d prefer something more loose laid perhaps? Not quite as heavily pressured, if you understand.”

As nicely as he put it, both Alfred and Bruce watched him as though he’d successfully dodged the bullet of a lifetime. He didn’t exactly want to tell Jason that he had no interest in being a party animal like him and his accomplice, Roy Harper.

“Well, if you don’t feel comfortable there little D, you can always come to Beta Nocti. As Den Dad I can make you have the best experience possible, and I’m sure you’d hit it off with at least a few of our initiates, you know. It’s not too late to join, and I’m sure Bruce and I could pull some strings.”

The teenager takes a deep breath, swallowing his food and setting a deadpan expression.

“That’s exactly the point I’m trying to make here. I don’t want to get into a house because my brother plans the best parties, is the head boy, or is the coolest Den Dad. I most certainly don’t want to be an initiate to a house because my father is the benefactor. I want to do this for myself, because when all of you leave JLA I will be on my own and I need to learn to handle that.”

They all watch him in amazement, and he looks away awkwardly.

“Look at my little brother all grown up.” says Dick, looking wistfully into his morning shake, and wiping away fake tears.

Jason has been watching him strangely however.

“You do realize that there are only four fraternities on campus, right?”

“I’m aware of this.”

The three other brothers freeze. Tim speaks next.

“You’re saying you want to join… Zhan Kappa?”

Damian rolls his eyes. “Are you implying that I am physically incapable of being apart from you three? Yes, I will go join the fourth fraternity. It’s really not that big of a deal either ways.”

Jason, Dick and Tim look between each other, before replying with an ominous, and foreboding,

“Okay.”

He should have known from the minute that the three of them agreed on something, nothing good was going to come to him.

_

Zhan Kappa, to put it shortly, is a mess. The entire place looks like a deadbeat back road motel. According to the brochure, the place is a domestic, friendly house with a lovely Greco roman design, and an adaptable interior decoration that is stress free for the residents.

In reality, the house is supposed to board fifty initiates but the states of some of the rooms are so bad they can only house thirty five. Some of the beds are broken, light fixtures are either hanging by a thread or waiting to shock you, and the cupboards in a lot of the rooms had mites. The worst part was that the laundry room had been colonized by rodents, making it incredibly difficult or sometimes impossible to get laundry done unless you had money for the Laundromat, or friends in another fraternity.

Damian was not pleased.

He takes one of the rooms that is strategically placed far enough from the laundry room, but also has no mites and stays there. He has a roommate however and prays to every deity in existence that he’s not an asshole, because there is only room for one in this tiny bedroom.

Someone knocks on the door, and he calls out a tired, “Come in.”

A red headed guy a little taller than him opens the door, holding a plate filled with some kind of snack, and uses his other hand to wave shyly. He’s wearing a strange combination of a country flannel shirt, with a beanie and glasses that appear to be prescription, and jeans that have been patched a few times.

“Hi, I’m the roommate. Colin. Um, Colin Wilkes. Chili cheese nachos?”

“I’m Damian. I’ve never had, was it chili cheese nachos? So forgive me if I do something wrong.”

“You’ve got a proper way of talking Damian. I like it.” He has a goofy smile on his face as he places the dish between the two of them. The half Arab boy tries a chip, and his eyes light up.

“This is good.”

“I know.”

“I sense the beginning of a good friendship here, Colin.”

The redhead does nothing but blush.

Another knock on the door and Damian looks up. “Were you expecting someone?”

“Sorry! That’s just my buddy, Jon. Can he come in?” He looks at the green eyed boy sheepishly.

“I don’t see why not.”

Jon, who Damian surmises was listening to their conversation, opens the door and flops onto Colin’s bed with no beating around the bush.

“Damian, this is my friend Jon. Jon this is my roommate Damian.”

“Hi Damian, I’m just going to mooch off your food for a bit, because my roommate is a right weirdo. I’m not even joking; the guy ate some of the mites in room thirteen just now.”

“That’s disgusting. You’re more than welcome to stay here when his strange antics become too much, but if you snore I will have to muzzle you in your sleep, Kent.”

“How’d you know my last name?” He lifts his head up from where it hung off the bed, munching on nachos.

“It’s on your underwear, and your sweater cuff.”

“Oh, right. Well I don’t snore and I have a sleeping bag if I need it, so thanks.”

“It’s not a problem. This place is a mess honestly. I’m beginning to think I should have gone to Beta Nocti when I had the chance,” he says while unpacking his things and placing them on the shaky night stand.

Jon and Colin watch him agape.

“You could have gone to Beta Nocti? Why in tarnation did you come here then? This place is for broke, lazy or dropout students,” says Colin, while shaking one of the dusty carpets out of a large, creaky window.

“I don’t want to go to Beta Nocti because everyone would treat me nicely simply because my father is the benefactor, and my brother is the Den Father.”

“Your dad is Bruce Wayne? The billionaire Bruce Wayne, who is always in the Gotham Gazette, the Daily Planet, on the news, doing charity work, and voted as the most attractive bachelor for the last four years in a row is your dad?” asks Jon, his jaw gone slack.

Damian sighs.

“Yes. Bruce Wayne is my father.”

“Oh wow. Colin, we have a legend in here.”

“I’m no legend,” the heir responds, smoothing over his black turtle neck.

“Oh please. We might be country boys, but I can tell the only thing on you that isn’t designer is your haircut and that pocket watch.” The redhead’s expression is deadpan.

“I’m slightly disturbed that you can tell that from a glance, but you’re not wrong. Also, can you stop shaking out the carpet now? I’m pretty sure all of the dust is gone and it’s just the threading falling out now.”

Colin puts the carpet back down, and Damian sits on the bed, deciding not to unpack much else until he figures out how they are going to divide the drawer and closet space.

“They don’t have rules against pets here do they, Jon?”

“Well they do, but I don’t think the RA really cares that much and the head boy doesn’t make a habit of doing room checks here. Why, you plan on hiding a dog or something? Colin has a mild allergy to dogs so I hope you don’t mind sneezing if that’s the case. My dog Krypto makes him go off like a top sometimes.”

“Oh not at all Titus is too big to bring here. I’ve brought my cat, Alfred.”

He removes the cloth from over the carrier and reveals the black and white cat napping inside, dismissive of the people looking at him. Damian looks at the two to gauge their reactions. He doesn’t want to send his pet back, and he pleads with his eyes.

“Well… I don’t mind cats, and yours looks cute so I guess he can stay. As long as he doesn’t pee on anything or like rip up the furniture,” murmurs Colin.

“Nonsense, this is a well trained pedigree feline you’re looking at. I assure you he will be no trouble.” He smiles brightly at Colin and opens the carrier, allowing the freshly woken cat to walk around.

“Then Alfred and I should get along fine. What do you say, Jon?”

“I don’t really care, the cat seems chill. We’ll just have to keep an eye on Eddy to hide the kitty when there is room inspections is all.”

“Thank you. As nice as these chili cheese nachos are, I am starving. Take out anyone? It’s on the rich kid.”

“Count us in.”

_

Later, when their stomachs are filled with Thai food from the nearby restaurant, and Jon has his sleeping bag set up on the ground, the three of them lay awake talking occasionally. The night passes and just before Colin goes to carefully take off the faulty lamp, Jon speaks.

“I guess it’s just the three of us in this shit storm, huh?”

“Yup, but I think we can make it.” Murmurs Colin sleepily.

“I think so as well. Goodnight Jon, Colin.”

“Goodnight Damian,” they say simultaneously.

The light goes out, and there’s peace.  For now.

Chapter Text

Damian never thought he’d ever say college was nice. He pours himself into his classes, and he has a particular love for his biology and animal science syllabi. He spends the first three weeks reading ahead, and hanging out with Colin and Jon who have without a doubt become the best friends he’ll ever have.

He spends the better part of his Friday afternoon studying his microbiology text, and Jon sprawls comfortably on the floor with his psychology texts, and Colin is flipped upside down on his small bed reading his Hemingway book for Literature. They look like the epitome of studious college students.

It lasts all of half an hour.

“Is anyone else hungry?” ask Jon, rubbing his stomach. Damian checks his watch.

“Jon, you ate less than an hour ago. You can’t possibly be hungry unless you find something under your textbook topic of dealing with anxiety patients to be appetizing?”

“Come on Dami, I’m hungry too. We can chip in a buy a pizza?”

“Fine.” Damian does not smile at Colin’s happy expression. He does not.

-

“We can’t be friends anymore Damian.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Jon, I will not stand for olives on my pizza, it is an atrocity.” Damian has a look of pure disgust on his face.

“Don’t be rude! Olives are nice. Colin, tell him olives are nice on pizza.” He turns to his childhood best friend and the redhead is looking at his shoes as though they are extremely interesting.

“I don’t want to comment on this one, because if I do I either get shunned by one friend or the other, and I really don’t do well with the cold shoulder. Why don’t we get half the pizza with olives and half without? You can choose from there I guess.”

“That’s actually a reasonable idea, Colin. You have excellent tastes.” Damian pairs this with a squeeze of his shoulder, and he turns around to look for his phone to order the food. He conveniently doesn’t notice the blush on the other’s cheeks.

“You are so obvious, Col. I’m wondering what they put in Gotham water to make the kids so dense.”

Damian is thankfully on the phone, so he doesn’t hear the smack that the blushing teen lands on the back of Jon’s head.

“Shut up, okay? He’s my roommate and I don’t want to make things awkward.” Colin’s face manages to get redder somehow, and he flings a throw pillow at his friend before drops his head into his book with a sigh.

Yes, he liked Damian and it took all of a week to realize it. That doesn’t mean he wants the world to know though. He can admire the roses from afar can’t he?

On a side note, the pillow Colin threw misses of course, and Jon lets out a strangled laugh.

“Yeah, but he’s cute. So I don’t see how you’re going wrong here, buddy.”

“He’s a rich, attractive and amazingly smart guy who’s also the heir to two of the biggest companies in the district, and you think he’s interested in me? Please, look at him.”

They both look at Damian who is wearing his signature black turtleneck paired with light wash jeans and Chelsea boots- sitting in the window looking like a model with his lean but toned sports body, green eyes, wavy sable hair and aristocratic speaking voice- and wonder what in the hell was he doing in Zhan Kappa.

“Maybe he might like you for you, ever think of that?” Jon gives him a pensive look, having years of practice with using his sky blue eyes to manipulate people's emotions.

“Maybe, but I don’t plan on finding out. Now shut your trap before he finishes the order.”

The conversation isn’t over, but the Kent child drops it for the while.

“The food should arrive soon. I’m presuming this is going to be a long night.”

“Looks like it…” murmurs Colin, looking through his binder.

Jon looks between the two and snickers. “I’m going to make some coffee.”

-

Hours are spent on work, and eventually the three of them fall asleep amongst their work, with little care for where books, clothes and food is scattered. This alone is more than enough to warrant problems.

Damian wakes up to a persistent scratching noise. He turns on the light on his phone, and looks around, but not seeing the source of the noise.

“Jon. Wake up.” No response.

“Kent, get your ass up and off the floor now!” He wakes up, and Damian motions for him to slowly get up on the scraggly twin sized bed. The two of them are stooping on the bed, and the other has no idea what he is awake for until he hears it.

A single squeak, not quite loud but loud enough for him to know why his friend woke him. There was a rat in the bedroom. The scratching noise starts again, and Damian picks up the nearest thing- a ping pong ball- and tosses it under the bed.

On the bright side, it scares the rat. On the other hand, the rat comes running out from under the bed, and jumps straight onto Colin’s bed, seeking sanctuary.

“Oh fuck.” Jon holds his breath now, and Damian is livid. The rodent looks at him with pink eyes, and it picks up a dorito from on the boy’s bed and starts to eat his finding.

Colin flips over, and the rat makes a run for it: up his leg and onto his shoulder.

Jon starts cursing like a sailor.

“Damian, if he wakes up he’s gonna start hollering and screaming like a bitch in heat.”

The latter says nothing, reaching under his pillow and searching for something. He shifts around a bit, and his palm brushed across smooth, cold metal. He grips the sai under his pillow and takes a deep breath.

“Jon, shift very slowly to the left. Do not, for any reason, startle the rat.”

The other looks at him and sees the weapon in his hand.

“What the hell are you going to do with that?” he whisper yells.

“Don’t scare the fucking rat, Kent.” His voice rises barely above a whisper, but his tone comes across clearly. When the blue eyed boy moves across enough, Damian waits until he has the animal’s attention and then it freezes.

A split second later there’s a resounding thud accompanied by a squeak and a splat sound, and Colin wakes up suddenly.

“Wha...What’s going on?”

Jon looks from the dead rat impaled on the wall to Damian and back. Colin feels something drip on his shoulder and turns his head slowly to see what it is.

“Damian, what the fuck?!?”

Colin jumps off the bed and swats at his shoulder to get off the fluid.

“Get your stuff; we’re leaving.” Damian has his phone out, and turns on the light next to him, not even looking at his roommates.

“Where are we going?”

“The benefactor’s house, but for now I need to make a call.”

The green eyed boy waits a few moments, as though waiting for someone to pick up, and then he answers.

“Hello, Grandfather. I’d like to ask a favor of you…”

-
Everyone -a small group of thirty three- is moved out of Zhan Kappa within the week. The boys are graciously offered sanctuary in the benefactor’s house until the repairs on their house are finished, and they take refuge with a promise of staying no more than two weeks.

Those two weeks are very loud.

When Damian called Ra’s, the older man had no problem doling out unspecified amounts of money to refurbish the entire property for them. The next day a team of over seventy men show up, and it’s a mix of construction workers, interior decorators, masons, carpenters and other craftsmen. At the head of them all is his mother, looking like a secretary from hell in a three piece suit and a bun with a no nonsense expression.

Talia works tirelessly and cycles the men day and night to make Zhan Kappa look like a dream house, and when his brothers pass by in shock at the whole situation; Damian keeps his smug look under wraps.

It takes all of seventeen days of back breaking work to fix the house to Damian’s liking, but when it is complete, everyone is in awe. The manor is a two story Greek revival designed building with a surrounding balcony on the second floor and a flat rooftop design for large events. The bedrooms are fully furnished with enough boarding space for sixty pledges, which ten more than any of the other fraternities, and the backyard has a pool with ambient seating.

The house was fully stocked with food- courtesy of Talia- and it’s not even a question of who has the best surround sound and security systems on campus.

Damian bows graciously when he cuts the satin ribbon at the entry and gets the head boy badge. Their pledge count goes from thirty three to sixty in a matter of days, and Tim is not pleased.

-

“He stole my pledges!”

“Tim, slow down.” Dick says as he is stretching in the gym while Jason marks some of the papers that he gets from being a teacher’s assistant in linguistics.

“That little shit goes flaunting around his money, building up a frigging mansion in the middle of the fucking grounds, and stealing six of my pledges! I’m head boy of Delta Zhi, this is going to reflect badly on me and the family!” he says, screeching and pulling his hair.

“I don’t know about reflecting badly on the family, but this makes us look bad. I lost four pledges to him too, but how is it my fault that we don’t have an Olympic sized swimming pool in our backyard at Theta Rho?”

Jason huffs and puts down the papers, deciding to finish marking later. Dick looks up from his stretching and pipes up too.

“I’m a little worried, because five of my boys dropped pledges too. It’s a bit unfair that he gets Talia and Ra’s to throw money at everyone, because even if Bruce were like that, we wouldn’t ask him to. It seems a little bit like the kid is trying to buy friends, although in his defense Zhan Kappa was a goddamn mess before.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t need to go overboard! Call an exterminator, electrician and an interior decorator and give the place a touch up, for Pete’s sake. He went and gave the place a whole makeover. I heard he has individual bathrooms in there…” says Jason, a bit wistful.

“I heard he has a better tech system than Delta Zhi,” murmurs Dick.

“That’s preposterous, and you know it. He needs a good hazing, that’s what. It’s not fair that the rest of us got kicked on our asses in our first semester, but he gets to be Mister Popular from the get go. He’s using the silver spoon privilege, Dick. It’s not fair.”

“What are you suggesting Tim? You think we should prank him? That’s more of an internal house thing, don’t you think?” asks Dick, turning over into a bridge position.

“We all know no one in Zhan Kappa is going to prank Damian now because they’d risk getting kicked out on the basis that he’s head boy and he practically paid for the whole place. His name is on a fucking plaque in there, Timbo, and if we don’t deflate his ego nobody else will, Dickiebird.”

“Fine." One prank, but nothing too big, okay? We don’t want him siccing Talia on our asses. Besides, he’s finally in a real fraternity now so it’s only tradition that he goes through an initiation right? He’ll laugh about all of this later.”

“That’s the spirit, Dick. I have the perfect prank in mind anyways.” Jason pulls out his phone as he’s speaking, combing his white fringe out of his eyes.

“We’re going to embarrass the hell out of the little bastard by sending around a picture of little Dami in the bathtub. Adorable right?”

Tim starts laughing immediately.

“There are baby pictures of the demon child?” the youngest of the three is laughing uncontrollably, and falls off his chair. Dick rolls his eyes but helps the other up.

“Talia would never admit it but Damian is her pride and joy. She must have albums upon albums of his pictures.” says Dick looking back and forth between Jason and Tim.

“You’re not wrong either, big guy. I got loads of blackmail material on him if I need it. Did you know Talia used to dress him up as Godzilla as a baby? That’s weird as fuck. Now who has the most contacts on campus here?” says Jason, while selecting the picture of Damian to use.

“Jason, you plan Theta Rho’s parties for a living. Who do you think has the most contacts on campus?”

“Right… and send!”

-

Damian is in his room when the notification on his phone goes off. He realizes it's some kind of chain message, and goes to close it before he sees the caption.

Jtodd87: Look at fetus Damian! We all got our hazing, but still...adorable right?!?

In a panic, he opens the attachment and all the blood runs from his face. The message contains one picture of him on Halloween at five years old… wearing a Mulan costume. He had the full makeup, and the dress with the little mushu plush toy too. It takes all of thirty seconds for him to realize they sent this to the whole school.
“I’m going to kill them!”

Colin and Jon look up from their positions on the floor doing their assignments, and suddenly their phones go off too before they can ask him what’s wrong.

“Don’t open it!” He frantically makes a grab for their phones, but only successfully gets Jon’s phone before Colin has already opened the message. The redhead goes full blush, and looks at the picture, then to Damian and back.

“This is… you?” He isn’t laughing but Damian bets he wants to.

“Yes,” he grates out, not looking at them. “You should go, Colin. You too Jon.”

“Dami… I’m sorry; I can delete it if I upset you- I didn’t-”

“Just get out.”

The two silently pick up their books and bags, and though they don’t share a room anymore, it’s clear that they feel bad being put out. He doesn’t care though, he’s embarrassed and he would much rather dwell on his shame in peace.

When he opens the school website, the picture is already there, and there are over a hundred comments already.

tundraride287: He looks like such a dork! Lmao

willowyip_09: Why is he dressed like Mulan? Is his mom weird or something? xD

Kidkutie: Guess being rich means you like to crossdress, I knew the guy was a creep…

Lollipalooza: Omg, look at the plushie XD Guess he likes to dress like a girl, do you think I should lend him something? Hahaha, lol.

The comments just keep going on, and Damian wipes away the tears threatening to spill and goes back to work. He can’t find his microbiology textbook, and realizes that he left it in the lecture hall. He picks up his phone and walks outside, and as soon as he reaches off the fraternity property everyone he sees turns away and starts to laugh.

He steels his expression and walks on, but then they start talking to him.

“Hey Mulan, you going to come fight us too?”

“Hey Damian, I’ll make a man out of you!”

And the list goes on. He doesn’t answer them, and he certainly doesn’t start a fight but God does he want to.

When he gets the textbook and reaches back to his dorm, his brothers are there waiting to confront him but he cuts them off.

“If you’re here to gloat, I don’t want to hear it. Fuck off, and don’t come back or I’ll call campus security.”

His door closes with a resounding slam and the three of them start bickering as soon as they leave.

“I told you coming here was a bad idea!” says Jason.

“This is our fault, and it’s the right thing to come and apologize.” says Dick, sighing and pulling Jason and Tim away from the house.

“What do you mean our fault? It’s not my fault Jason can’t use his own fucking phone!”

“Hey, I thought I clicked the right picture! It was an honest mistake.” Jason even looks remorseful, under his pigheaded visage.

“Well fighting isn’t going to make Damian feel any less upset, and I’m kind of nervous now because he has embarrassing moments of us too you know…” says Dick, taking out his car keys and turning off the alarm.

“I’m sure he’ll get over it; it’s not like he’s going to hide from the world forever, Dickiebird. Something else will come up and everyone will forget all about it. This is college, not high school.”

“Yeah, I agree with Jay,” says Tim, getting in the back and motioning to Jason to move up his seat, “He’s not the same manipulative and conniving little brat we met eight years ago, you know. He’s grown up a bit. Younger Damian might have gone ape shit, but he’ll get over it.”

“I really hope so, because I’m already on the rocks with Kori, whatever bite comes from upsetting Damian is not going to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back in this relationship.”

“Yeah, stop getting all sappy and turn on the frigging' radio, Dick. You're not going to get dumped, and we’re going for tacos.”

The three of them start to laugh, and drive off to get lunch, unaware of the storm brewing within their younger brother, and basking in their ignorance.

Little do they know, karma is coming for them in the form of a wrathful half Arabic maniac.

Chapter Text

In the aftermath of his brother’s pranks, Damian scarcely says anything to anyone for over a week. He avoids his brothers like the plague- a mildly difficult task, he’d admit- and leaves the shortest responses to texts from Jon and Colin.

After the initial incident, the two had stopped coming by his room in general as he was not being particularly good company. The green eyed boy walked with his head held high, but on the inside he was curling up in shame. Everywhere he went he was laughed at, and no one in his fraternity would respect his title of head boy anymore, even more so due to his age.

It was extremely infuriating.

He is sitting in the mirror before his microbiology lecture, and he can’t bring himself to leave his room. For the first time in a long time, Damian genuinely felt like crying. All he wanted was to fit it for once, and he’d been doing it before those three asses came along and ruined it for ‘tradition’. Not a person had mentioned his Arabic heritage or made fun of it, no one judged him for being gay, and no one dared tell him anything about his family.

Despite the soaring success he’d been having, all it took was one stupid picture to ruin everything he had building for himself.

Taking a deep breath and thumbing his star and crescent pendant, he gets up and grabs his laptop, electing to skip his lecture. He had a plan in mind, and the heir was sure his brothers were going to hate it.

-

When Damian finishes his masterpiece, he takes his leave of the vast library, and heads back across campus while pointedly ignoring the catcalls and shouts with Disney related puns. He’d hoped that after a week something new would have happened to take his spotlight, but he was fresh out of luck. As it would seem, no one was willing to take one for the team and embarrass themselves horrendously to spare him the torture.

He grits his teeth, and wraps the ends of his long scarf around his open palm to prevent himself from punching anyone.

“Yo, Mulan! If you need a wingman, I can be your Mushu and get you a date you know!”

This was one of the slightly more creative ones, but it peeved him no less. A different voice however, pipes up before he can manage to comment something that was particularly degrading or scathing.

“Go fuck yourself, Jacob. No one needs to remind you of how you pissed yourself while drunk in front of your ex on frat initiation night, right?”

Colin. The boy had an iron resolve and did not stand for bullshit. Damian also conveniently ignored most of his concerned text messages, calls and voicemails. Jacob looked ready to fight, but when the redhead took off his glasses and rolled up his flannel to show undoubtedly toned arms he sat back down.

“Yeah, go walk with your boyfriend Wilkes. Not like you have any other friends.” Colin goes entirely red and sputters, not bothering to correct him out of shock, but Damian cuts him down to size.

“Jacob… I might have a stick up my ass but it comes with the territory of being gay, as you might imagine. Do tell, what is your excuse? Are you jealous that you don’t have a rich boyfriend?”

Jacob’s mouth hangs agape, and Damian wraps an arm around Colin’s shoulder and leads him away from the group of muttering guys towards the frat house.

The two walk along the lush path to the house, but Colin doesn’t look at Damian the whole time. It makes for a very quiet and awkward walk. The mixed boy itches to grab for his hand and talk to him but he refrains, instead looking at the scenery around him and focusing on where he was going.

By the time they reach the front door, he doesn’t even remember he’s supposed to be avoiding his brothers. The three of them are waiting for him, and he immediately goes from calm to crazy in a matter of seconds.

“What are you doing here? I said not come back you assholes!” he tries to shove through Jason and Dick, but they are too well built, and Jason grabs his arm.

“Let me go, Todd. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Stop being a brat, we came to apologize dumbass.” Jason rolls his eyes and looks at Dick for help.

“We just want to say we’re sorry Dami-”

“I don’t want your apologies. I want you to leave. Now let me go, Jason.”

The man in question tightens his grip, and the younger brother snaps.

“I said unhand me!” He leans sideways, drawing Jason’s arm with him and extending his leg to kick his brother off of him. He miscalculates and uses far too much force, which sends Jason flying into Tim where they both go stumbling into a neighboring plant pot. A very expensive plant pot.

Jason gets up and rolls up his sleeves, and looks rather pissed. “Listen you little shit-”

“Jay, don’t do it.” Tim implores, sweeping back his long hair.

The second eldest doesn’t even hear Tim, and right before he swings the first punch the head boy jumps on him to prevent him from murdering Damian.

“Get off me, Tim!”

Dick tries to pull Tim off Jason, who is now trading blows with Damian and ends up getting an elbow to the face for his efforts.

“Guys, please stop…” Colin asks awkwardly. He side steps when Dick goes flying into a column just as Jon comes outside.

The blue eyed boy looks around at the whole situation, and then takes a deep breath. Colin puts his hands over his ears in preparation.

Then he screams.

If you’ve never heard a country boy scream, be glad you haven’t. All four brothers and cover their ears and Tim trips from the sheer shrillness of the sound. Jon closes his mouth and helps Tim up before turning back to the three intruders.

“I am pretty sure our Head boy here told you three gentlemen to say the hell off our house grounds. Now you’d better get stepping before I get back, or I might end up taking out a second round of trash, you hear me?”

The three nod their heads grimly under Jon’s fierce glare, and the boy picks up his trash bags and continues his way, shaking his head and muttering about ‘rich gotham shits’.

“Look Damian, we really are sorry-”

“Richard, let me make this clear. I don’t want an apology from you, I want revenge. Rest assured I will get it; it’s simply a matter of when. Till then, consider this an official declaration of war. Now get the hell out of my house. I don’t think any of you want me to pick up a weapon, do you?”

Colin nods to the walkway, and the three of them leave hesitantly, but Jason in particular looks very uncomfortable. Damian gives him his evilest grin.

It’s quite unsettling.

“What are you going to do Damian?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, Colin. Don’t you worry one bit.”

~

Tim is on edge all week.

He keeps expecting Damian to jump out from every shadow and corner, and it’s messing with him on a spiritual level if he’s being entirely honest. Conner had wrapped an arm around his shoulder earlier in the morning, and the boy had sworn he’d seen his life flash before his eyes.

He walks to all his classes like someone is holding a gun to his head, and every loud slam, voice, song or group throws him for a loop, a makes him spin around like a paranoid conspiracy kid looking for aliens. After the second day there are prominent bags under his eyes. It gets bad.

Everyone is realizing something is wrong with him however, but no one can figure it out.

When Damian finally makes an appearance in the coffee shop the older brother frequents, Tim ducks behind the nearest potted plant and hides for fear of his life. If he’d known the brat would take a little prank so hard, he would have told the boys to forget it.

The younger of the two orders a chai latte with coconut milk, and makes his way to a booth in the corner. He stays there for about twenty minutes on his phone and sipping slowly. He gets up, smoothing out his designer cowl neck sweater and throwing away the cup before leaving. He pauses by the door, typing something on his phone and then walking away.

A few seconds later his phone goes off.

1. Wayne-Al Ghul : I knew you were there, Timothy. On your toes, Golden Boy...

Tim breathes shakily, and collects his things. He wasn't sure how much longer he could last.

~

Dick tells himself that whatever Damian has planned can't be that bad. This and his positive attitude is enough to keep him going for the first three days.

Then the paranoia settles in.

Everywhere he turns he feels like he’s seeing black cropped hair and his skin crawls at the thought of Damian watching his every move. Kori eventually snaps and tells him that she’d prefer to stay in Terra Di Gamma until he gets his shit together.

In hi gym class he’s giving an example of his usual textbook perfect ring lift pull ups when he panics and loses his grip after thinking he spotted his younger brother in the stands. It turns out it’s just a late comer with a bit of a shorter haircut.

His face flushes red, and he awkwardly mutters, “Just make sure you use enough talcum powder on your hands guys. I guess I just have clammy hands today.” He laughs half heartedly with them, but it’s not genuine. He’s legitimately freaking the hell out and Damian hasn’t made a move yet.

He might be the nicest of his brothers but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have dirt to pull up.

Dick just prays that the little brat gets it over with already. He’s got no luck.

-

Jason tries to ignore it at first. He knows what Damian is doing, and he’d figured out from the get go this kid was a decoy. Lean but muscular from on the fencing team, with a rather similar look to the demon kid, but he missed a few points.

Even from his peripheral the Teacher’s Assistant could see the gait was all wrong. This kid walked like he came from the Narrows but Damian tended to either lurk in the shadows or preen like some kind of peacock. He’d also never be caught dead in sweatpants outside his house or dorm.

But after a few days, Damian is actually following him. The signature turtleneck is hard to miss, and the resounding scuff of new shoes sounds loudly as the green eyed monster walked into the staff room and sat right next to the Arabic Teacher who conveniently had a desk two seats over from Jason.

The older man bristles, and goes back to his papers but he feels eyes on him and eventually snaps his red ink pen, ruining his shirt and causing some poor shit to have an assignment to redo. He walks out to his car in frustration, leaving the stack of essays right there and slams the door shut too.

When he looks down to grab his pack of cigarettes the box is open. He suspiciously pulls out one, and in a fine elegant script alongside the seam of the cigarette are a few words.

‘Sleep with one eye open Todd.’ D. W

He visibly shudders and turns on the ignition, getting far too fed up and edgy for all the bullshit. Within a few days, all three brothers share the same sentiments.

If Damian was going for revenge, he should hurry the hell up and do it.

-

The teenager in question sits on his bed, legs folded and eyes alight. He finishes up the last details on his masterpiece and looks to Colin with a devious grin.

“I’m tempted to ask what you’re doing, but I get the feeling I don’t want to know. I would like to know what happened this week.”

Damian scrunches up his nose in confusion.

“I’m not quite sure I know what you’re referring to, Colin.” He continues typing in recipients at rapid fire without even looking at the keyboard. It’s mildly impressive but also slightly disturbing.

“The thing that happened with Jacob this week?” he says as he thumbs the tassels on a pillow in the corner.

“Do you mean him making fun of me, because I told you-?”

“No, I mean the uh… the part where you implied that we were um- that we were boyfriends?” His face is very hot now, and his freckles blend right into the full rosy palette of his cheeks.

“Oh. Did I overstep a particular boundary, because I do not wish to make you feel uncomfortable if that is what you’re trying to-”

“No! I didn’t have a problem with uh- I um I didn’t mind. It did kind of shut him up anyways.”

“So it wasn’t upsetting?” Damian chews his lip nervously, a habit he’d picked up recently and looks up from the laptop.

“No. I um, I just thought you might want to correct some stuff because you might not want people thinking we were dating or anything-”

“Would you like to?” he cuts it, tone monotone as ever with a bit of an aristocratic lilt.

“Would I like to what, Damian?”

“Would you like to go on a date? With me that is… for some coffee perhaps, but if you don’t -”

“I’d love to. We can meet at that little bistro off campus on Wednesday after our lectures, if you’d like? I hear they have a really nice Baklava there.” Colin says softly but firmly, looking at the other with a lopsided smile.

“Well I guess I can’t turn down a good Baklava.” he replies with a small but beautiful smile of his own.

-

Later, Damian sits patiently waiting for the right moment to upload the file. He knows exactly when all three of his brothers will be online to see it and the second he sees their respective IP addresses pop up, he presses load and waits for the chaos to begin.

Jason sees a new notification from a post on the campus website, and it seems to be blowing up like crazy in a matter of minutes. He eventually opens the link to the video to see what all the buzz is about and he goes pale. He shoves Roy away, and focuses on Damian’s face in the tape.

“Hello students of JLA College. My name is Damian Wayne as many of you may know, or as some of you lovingly refer to me- Mulan.

My darling brothers have deemed it appropriate to share some of my embarrassing moments with you and what kind of sibling would I be if I didn’t do the same? So, on the house, here is a handmade compilation of what your college icons Tim, Dick and Jason were like before they were cool. You three can consider this my official declaration of war. Enjoy!”

Dick is frozen in terror. He didn’t think the kid had it in him. The video continues playing and it gets cringier by the second.

“Bruce, look at me!” Dick cries as he climbs up the jungle gym. The bachelor sighs and the camcorder moves up while he chuckles quietly.

“Don’t do anything stupid, Dick.”

“I’m a flying Grayson, watch!” The young boy jumps off the top of the jungle gym, attempting to do a straddle jump over a post and stick the landing. He underestimates the jump, and for his mistake he lands squarely on the post, with the blow going straight to the crotch and summarily falls off while wailing in pain.

The gymnast winces in reminiscence of that day, remembering the awkward trip to the ER and the declaration of a torn groin muscle that made changing, walking and everything else incredibly painful and awkward.

Tim is wide eyed and torn between throwing his phone and wishing to crawl into a hole and die.

“Alfred, where do babies really come from?” The butler looks at him with a scandalized expression. Someone in the background is clearly stifling their laughter, but failing miserably.

“Master Tim, whatever do you mean?”

“My mom used to say they came from a stork who gave it to a happy mother to raise, but I don’t think that story is true.”

“Until Master Bruce arrives home, I am going to have to agree with your mother.”

The scene cuts and continues, but its clear there is a time skip.

Bruce enters the room while Tim sits reading a book, and the younger looks up, puzzled.

“Tim, can you please explain what the conversation I just had with your teacher was about? Dick, turn off that camera please.” Tim looks scared, as though he knows he’s in trouble.

“I swear I was just asking it a question! I didn’t actually hurt anyone!”

“Tim, the teacher said you jumped on the zoologist and started shaking the bird asking it when you were going to get a little brother.”

“Alfred and my mom said that babies came from storks! Who else was I supposed to ask, the lady with the big belly?”

Bruce sighs and pours a full glass of scotch, while Alfred talks to Tim in hushed tones to the side.

Dick clearly loses it, convulsing with laughter before the tape cuts.

Tim covers his face with his hands in shame, and moans his woes into his pillow, realizing the video was nineteen fucking minutes long.  That had only been a minute and forty three seconds.

Jason legitimately throws his phone against the wall. Only to realize he’s watching the video on his tablet anyways. He wants to hide under his bed and never come out again.

“Jason, are you sure you want to wear that to the costume party?”

“Yes! Selina got it for me and she said I looked fantastic so I’m going to wear it.”

There’s strange background noise for a few moments before Jason exits the bathroom, and Barbara starts dying of laughter in the background.

“Come on, B. You’re not letting him leave the house like that are you?”

“He made me promise.”

“I look good don’t I?”

“You… look interesting Jay.”

Young Jason does a twirl for the camera in full regalia, wearing a cheap wig with a red lumpy looking bodysuit, knee high boots, and a moustache that was glued on almost sideways. He looks at the camera and goes for sultry, winking forcibly and opening the v in the material to show off nonexistent chest hair. He does a much better impersonation of a stalker in Barbara’s opinion.

“Do you really want to go to a Halloween party dressed as Rick James Jason?”

“Come on Barbara, everyone loves the song. She’s a super freak, super freak!” he sings off tone which causes Bruce to cover his ears in shock. He was going to kill Selina.

“I think there’s only one super freak here anyways...”

Jason storms out and the footage cuts with Barbara laughing and Bruce holding the bridge of his nose.

Jason gags at the old footage, and bangs his head repeatedly on his desk. He thinks maybe he should stop before he dashes out his brain. Then he remembers that the entire campus has seen this.

He resumes bashing his head on the desk.

The best part? He’d barely reached halfway through the goddamned video.

-

Damian sits back and smiles, with his Lana Del Rey playing in the background and him and Colin eating in silence. Jon was on a date and said he’d be home late.

“How long until they fight back?”

“I’d give it maybe three days. Jason is the impatient type, and Tim doesn't bear shame very well. He wasn’t raised for it.”

“Can you handle it?”

“I’m already three steps ahead of them beloved."

Colin flushes prettily and the other reaches over to thumb his cheek affectionately and sneakily steal a pot sticker when he’s distracted.

“You’re sweeter than you let on sometimes…” says the redhead quietly.

“I know.” he responds, popping the pot sticker in his mouth.

“I thought you’d finished- hey!”

The two of them laugh at each other, fighting over the dumplings with chopsticks like children, but three brothers sit in waiting, one more ready for revenge than the others.

The cycle begins again, and a plan is set in motion.