Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jimin groans when he sees the man making his way towards Jimin’s table.

Lee-fucking-Seulmin.

What part of “Sorry, I can’t return your feelings” or “Please stop following me” and “Why is that fucker constantly stalking me like some fucking sasaeng?!” did he not understand?

(That last one may have been said to Taehyung, because Jimin is a nice fairy/angel, and will not just bash anyone like that. Although it may be tempting. Very tempting.)

Jimin just wanted to eat his fucking McNuggets (that's right, fucking nuggets) in peace, for Christ’s sake. Of course, the universe decides to say, “Hey look! Jimin’s been having a good day so far! Gotta fuck that up!” by sending Lee Seulmin to the same fucking McDonald’s as him.

(There are at least 10 other McDonald’s within this vicinity, so fuck you, fate.)

Jimin tries to hide from Seulmin’s view by turning his body away from him, but Seulmin has already spotted and targeted him. Like a missile that just won’t give the fuck up.

“Jimin! What a coincidence, seeing you here!”

Jimin grits his teeth before turning to face the other and giving him a small, fake smile. “Hi, Seulmin. Yeah. What a coincidence.”

Apparently Seulmin has the intelligence of a fucking soybean, because he completely waves away Jimin’s hostility.

“It’s great to see you here!”

Fan-fucking-tastic, but it’s not mutual.

“Are you here alone?”

“Uh, no, I’m here with someone else.”

Seulmin arches a skeptical eyebrow. He obviously doesn’t believe Jimin’s bullshit.

“Really? Who?” He asks smugly.

Jimin’s eyes widen. He was not going to allow Seulmin’s creepy ass to sit next to him and have a fucking friendly chat. He’d rather drink black coffee (the drink of the devil, which is probably why Yoongi drinks so much of the bitter substance) while admitting to Jin that the bread he made last week was fucking disgusting.

However, Jimin has also just finished writing an 8 page essay about why Facebook was deteriorating youth’s social skills and creating issues on the internet. It took him an entire 2 weeks to finish it. Jimin could subtweet at least 10 mutuals in 5 minutes, which honestly, would be a much better assignment.

(Maybe he was a closet salty bitch, maybe he wasn’t.)

The point is, Jimin really really just wants to eat his fucking nuggets.

So when Jimin sees a man who seems to be around the same age as himself walk into the store, he doesn't hesitate to point at him.

When Seulmin looks in that direction and sees the hazel-haired man, his jaw drops.

“You’re eating with Jeon Jungkook?!”

Who the fuck?

“Yes.”

“He’s like, mega popular around the campus!”

When the fuck?

“I know.”

Seulmin looks hesitant to continue. “Oh.”

Fuck yeah. Now, the door is right over there, don’t hesitate to use it.

“Can I join you guys?”

Is this boy serious? Does he realize that his stalker-ass is not welcome anywhere near Jimin’s nuggets? Jimin is about to implode with frustration (and desperation).

“I think I should ask Jungkook about that first..”

Seulmin stares at him, “Okay. Ask him, then.”

Jimin blinks. “What?”

“Yeah, just ask him right now.”

Jimin gulps.

Caught in a fucking lie, bitch.

“Ok.”

What the fuck did he just get himself into?

Slowly, he stands up and walks to where Jungkook was standing in line. And holy shit, boy is H O T. Just looking from the back, he was obviously taller than Jimin (fuck everyone over 173.6 cm), and was wearing a simple white tee and a pair of tight jeans. Jimin could see that he was handsome from a distance, but now that he was up close to the angel, he realizes how much shit he’s in.

(And those thighs. Jimin is very proud of his own thighs, but this Jungkook guy’s thighs are a close second.)

Gathering courage, he taps the man’s shoulder. He turns around. And Jimin starts to question Vogue. He’s questioning Elle. He’s questioning every fashion model agency, because why was this stranger-angel’s face not on the front page of every magazine?

His doe eyes were wide open, his top lip was thinner than his bottom lip and showed his cute bunny teeth (fuck, he just upgraded to stranger-angel-bunny guy), and was that a double helix piercing he sees??

(Maybe he has a piercing kink, maybe he doesn’t.)

“Um, did you just tap my shoulder?”

Jimin snaps out of whatever trance he was in. “Y-yes! I did!”

“Oh”. Stranger-angel-bunny guy blinks. “Is there something you need?” He asks slowly.

“Um, yes, but it’s probably not what you think it is.”

Jungkook’s face immediately hardens, “I’ve said this to at least 5 people just today. No, I won’t take a selca with you, please respect my privacy. I don’t want a sugar daddy or baby. I’m not going to give you my number, twitter handle, or instagram username-”

“Wait, do you seriously think I’m here to ask you for these things?”

Jungkook stops.

“You aren’t?” He cautiously asks.

Jimin furrows his brow, “No, but it’s slightly alarming that you’ve met people who asked you these things.”

Jungkook just shrugs in response. “I’m pretty used to it.”

“Or you’re just pretty.” Jimin mumbles under his breath.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Jimin waves it away.

Jungkook shows a bunny smile, “Anyways, sorry that I assumed that of you, but in return, I’ll agree to what you want me to do!” He ends cheerfully.

Jimin raises an eyebrow, “You willingly agree to my request even though you don’t know what I want?”

Jungkook chuckles, “You don’t exactly seem like someone who’d ask me to murder your enemy.” He fingers Jimin’s BT21 Chimmy earring.

Jimin blushes, Taehyung had bought an earring of his favorite character for his birthday. The taller had insisted he wear it whenever Taehyung was gone for a photoshoot to remind Jimin of his presence. (Whatever that meant)

Jimin cleared his throat. “Right. I was wondering if you could pretend we arranged a lunch. And we’re friends.”

“...At McDonald’s.”

“And I need you to chase away my stalker.”

“...You want me to pretend we arranged a lunch. At McDonald’s. While chasing your stalker away.”

“You’ve got it!”

Jungkook sighs in surrender. “I did say that I’d do what you want. Okay, fine. Let me order my food first?”

Jimin nods happily, “Of course! I’ll be sitting over there!”

“Got it.”

“Oh, and I'm Jimin by the way.”

--

“Jeon Jungkook, wow, I can’t believe I’m actually sitting and talking to you right now. It’s an honor.”

Jimin subtly rolls his eyes, what a fucking suck up.

Jungkook puts down his chocolate milk (Jimin is fighting the urge to make fun of him) and smiles politely. “Hi, nice to meet you too.” 

“So how did you know Jiminie here?”

“Don’t call me that.” Jimin mumbles.

Jungkook slightly frowns when he sees how uncomfortable Jimin is. So he slings his arm around Jimin’s shoulders. Maybe Jimin wouldn’t feel as uneasy?

Jimin’s eyes widen, did the stranger-angel-bunny just do that? He unconsciously leans into Jungkook’s protective stance. Seulmin, judging by his expression, was shocked as well.

“I met Jimin through a mutual friend of ours. We connected really well, so we decided to have lunch together.”

Jimin just nods along. Great support, if he could say so himself.

“Oh..” Seulmin seems hesitant to continue. “So.. you’re not dating each other or anything like that, are you?”

Jimin turns to look at Jungkook at the same time as the other.

“Yes.”

And as if to prove the point, Jungkook pulls Jimin closer to his warm body.

(Jimin 100% does not melt. He does not feel like fainting.)

Seulmin’s eyes widen, “Oh, I didn’t know!” He gives Jimin an annoyed look, “I guess this is the reason why you’re always rejecting me?”

Jimin nods wordlessly.

“Alright. I get it. I’ll leave now., but next time try not to lead people on.”

Fuck you, the only way I would lead you on is if I were leading your bitchass to the police office for a restraining order,  Jimin fumes to himself.

Seulmin finally (fucking finally) gets up and leaves.

Once he steps out of the building, Jimin heaves a relieved sigh.

“Um, I'm guessing you’re feeling better?”

Jimin smiles, “Yeah. he’s been on my nerve since first semester. You have no idea how thankful I am.”

Jungkook smiled his bunny smile, “No problem! So now that I’ve fulfilled your wishes, how about you fulfill one of mine?” He smirks at the shorter as his demeanor changes playfully.

Jimin just giggles, “That sounded exactly like what a fuckboy would sound like.”

“T-that’s not what I meant!”

“Aw, you’re cute, Jungkookie.”

“I’m not cute, I’m manly.”

“Mm, not with that pout you’re not.”

Jungkook doesn’t let go of his pout. “Shut up.”

Jimin gasps in mock insult, “I’m older than you, you should be calling me hyung!”

“There’s no way you’re older than me.”

“95 liner, bitch.”

“Fuck.”

Jimin cackles in victory.

“You’re only two years older! It’s not that big of a difference!”

“2130 more bowls of rice, baby.”

“Wow, you’re so mature.”

“Thank you, I am.”

“That was sarcasm.”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “I don’t care.”

“So you don’t wanna go on a date with me?”

“No, I-”

Wait. What?

Jimin looks at Jungkook. The younger had put on a confident, smug face but Jimin easily saw though him and knew that he was internally nervous as fuck.

“Are you serious?”

“As serious as your stalking crisis.” Jungkook gives him a hopeful look.

“Fine. I’ll go on a date with you.”

Jungkook pumps his fist in satisfaction, hissing a small “yess” to himself.

So fucking cute.

“But let me finish my nuggets first.”

“Hyung, you aren’t serious.”

“As serious as my stalking crisis.”

“Oh my god, I love you.”

Jimin pries Jungkook’s lips away from his face. Holding the younger's cheeks, he stops Jungkook from further assault.

“I know I’m very lovable, but you seem particularly excited.”

Jungkook makes a bunny grin, “Taehyung told me something.”

Jimin narrows his eyes. Taehyung was not to be trusted. Especially when put together with his boyfriend.

(Yes, you read that right, boyfriend. Jeon Jungkook has officially been snatched and belongs to only Jimin.)

“He told me that after our first date, you know, the one where I oh so heroically saved you from your stalker?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget.”

Jungkook laughs. “Well, he said that you referred to me as the stranger-angel-bunny guy.”

Jimin rips his hands off his boyfriend’s cheeks as he furiously tries to find his phone. “Kim Taehyung, that fucking liar, he said he wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“No! Let me kiss you!”

“Fuck that, I need to end my best friend first!”

“But I love you!”

“I love you too, but that has nothing to do with me subtweeting shit about him-mmf!”

Jungkook softly cradled his Jimin's face as he sweetly kissed him.

Maybe ending Taehyung can be saved for later. Right now, he just wants to love his precious angel.

Chapter Text

Jeon Jungkook was having a shitty day.

It’s not even noon, the rational side of him reasons. Well the rational side of him could go fuck himself, because it was truly a shitty day.

It’s an ugly monday morning because, really, when is it not? He woke up half an hour later than usual, after the insistent ring of his phone from Seokjin who was calling and scolding him about why did I not see your baggy white tee shirt and ugly timberlands this morning? Jungkook proceeded to shout a large array of expletives as he struggled to properly dress himself, occasionally ranting to Seokjin about his superior fashion sense.

He takes one last look in the mirror- eyebags darker than his soul, hair messier than his life, and oh my god his earrings don’t even match! Jungkook hastily chucks his earrings behind him and stumbles as he tries to put on a pair of timberlands. The door slams behind him as he runs to the university.

(Of course, some random girls stop him mid-run to ask for his instagram. Jungkook was ready to throw hands with the entire fucking world.)

He couldn’t stop to buy a quick breakfast, so his stomach growls embarrassingly loudly throughout the entire lecture, despite the subtle rubs and quiet whispers he gives to his abdomen. (The dude sitting next to him was definitely changing seats.)

“Aw, my poor Jungkookie is tired, isn’t he?” Jin coos as he strokes the younger’s head. Jungkook didn’t even have the energy to smack Jin’s hand away. He simply accepts the affection from his hyung. They were sitting on the grassy field beside the school, because Jungkook doesn’t want to lift a single finger until his next class.

Namjoon shakes his head in amusement, “How do you manage to be late on the first day of the week?”

Jungkook groans in response. “It’s not my fault that Starbucks just decides that university life is irrelevant and working as a barista should be high up on the ladder of fucks I give.”

Jin smacks his arm and tells him to stop swearing. Jungkook hums, not listening to a word of complaint. “So I always work on the weekends, and it’s always more or less 5 hours a day. But then the manager decides that she needs to attend a fucking party on Sunday, and was basically ready to pull a Violet from the Incredibles and get the fuck outta there.”

Jin flicks him on the head, “First of all, we really have to do something about that mouth of yours. Secondly, why didn’t you just say no? Since that seems to be the only thing you ever say to your hyungs.” He says pettily.

Namjoon snorts, “You sure you know Jungkook well? He avoids conflict with strangers like the plague.” His statement triggers a defensive Jin, who is always ready to pull out the ‘I’ve raised this coconut head on my back since he was born’ card.

The youngest sighs as he listens to his “mature” hyungs. The growls coming from his stomach again remind him of the breakfast that he never ate.

“Hey, do you guys mind if I go and get some breakfast? I haven’t had food since Jin hyung woke me up this morning.”

Jin gasps in horror. “Jeon Jungkook! How could you not eat breakfast? It is the pinnacle meal of the day!” He continues grumbling as he searches his bag, “You could’ve told me and I would’ve packed you something to eat...oh no, looks like I don’t have any snacks left in my bag. Joon-ah!”

The said person snaps his head up to look at Jin, “W-What?”

Jin gives him a determined look. “We need to buy snacks. A lot of them. Asap.”

Namjoon has no choice but to yield to his boyfriend’s insistent behavior. “Of course, your highness.”

Jungkook smiles, “It’s ok. You don’t have to pack me anything ‘cuz you already woke me up this morning. I’ll probably just drop by the first fast food place I see.”

He gets up to leave, but before he can go, Jin stops him for a moment. “Jungkook-ah! I totally forgot to tell you, but the whole group is having dinner at my house tomorrow so that includes you, you Overwatch-freak.”

“I’m not an Overwatch-freak-”

“Oh! And Hoseokie is bringing someone else, apparently. Someone from his dance class, and you know what dancers’ bodies are like.” Jin wiggles his eyebrows as Namjoon elbows him in his side and Jungkook chokes on his spit.

“I-I thought Hoseok hyung was already dating Yoongi hyung?”

Jin snorted. “He’s not dating the new kid, he’s just introducing him to our friend group, you idiot. So dress to impress, maybe even a pair of tight skinny jeans, and snatch this guy off his feet. Ok?”

“Hyung, what in the literal fuck are you talking about-”

“I also want an iced capp.”

“What-”

“Bye Jungkookie!” Jin grins as he waves him off.

Jungkook grumbles and jogs away from his crazy friends.

He looks at the menu from McDonald’s because, where else would a broke university student go to get food? He’s deciding if he should risk embarrassment and order a happy meal (don’t judge, they’re cheap and they come with good drinks) or if he should just be a grown fucking adult and get a BigMac when he suddenly feels a tap on his shoulder.

He turns around, and sees a stranger. A small, cute, and very pretty stranger. He has fluffy blond hair and is wearing a long sleeved, striped tee shirt. And he had sweater paws.

Sweater paws.

And is currently staring at him. As cute as the guy is, Jungkook would prefer to talk to him than trying to communicate telepathically with him. (Which he only attempted ONCE when he was absolutely plastered at a party. Jin is never going to let it go.)

He blinks at the shorter. “Um, did you just tap my shoulder?”

The other widens his eyes. “Y-yes! I did!”

Mochi stranger just stuttered.

Fuck.

“Oh.” Jungkook wants to hit himself in the head. “Is there something you need?”

Good. This conversation is still salvageable. Don’t fuck this up, Jeon.

The smaller twists his hands nervously. “Um, yes, but it’s probably not what you think it is.”

Jungkook groans internally. God did NOT just send a whole cute looking mochi his way just for him to ask for his personal information. Jungkook immediately warns him. “I’ve said this to at least 3 people just today. No, I won’t take a selca with you, please respect my privacy. I don’t want a sugar daddy or baby. I’m not going to give you my number, twitter handle, or instagram username-”

“Wait, do you seriously think I’m here to ask you for these things?”

Oh. Was he not then? Did Jeon Jungkook just fuck up again in this conversation of less than 3 minutes? Most definitely.

“You aren’t?” Jungkook asks slowly.

The blond frowns, “No, but it’s slightly alarming that you’ve met people who asked you these things.”

Oh my god, the mochi was worried about him? Jungkook’s entire day has been officially made.

He tries to play it off coolly and shrugs, “I’m pretty used to it.”

Wow. That didn’t sound douche-y at all.

“Or you’re just pretty.”

“Excuse me?”

Did Jeon Jungkook just hear what he heard?

The other is quick to wave that thought away, “Nothing, nothing.”

Jungkook unconsciously smiles. So the mochi thinks that he’s pretty.  “Anyways, sorry that I assumed that of you, but in return, I’ll agree to what you want me to do!”

Really. Anything. Jungkook would haul ass and book a ticket to the moon if that was what the mochi wanted.

The shorter raises a suspicious eyebrow, “You willingly agree to my request even though you don’t know what I want?”

Jungkook snickers. “You don’t exactly seem like someone who’d ask me to murder your enemy.” And by some unknown source of courage, (or just plain stupidity) he touches the mochi’s earrings. A cute dog (?) wearing a yellow hoodie. Cute. Just like the owner.

He doesn’t notice the flush on the blond’s cheeks.

The other coughs. “Right. I was wondering if you could pretend we arranged a lunch. And we’re friends.”

“...At McDonald’s.”

“And I need you to chase away my stalker.”

“...You want me to pretend we arranged a lunch. At McDonald’s. While chasing your stalker away.”

“You’ve got it!”

Jungkook sighs but decides that protecting this mochi from others is more important than Jin hyung’s iced capp. “I did say that I’d do what you want. Okay, fine. Let me order my food first?”

“Of course! I’ll be sitting over there!”

Ugh the blond’s cuteness just kicked him right in the kokoro.

“Got it.” Jungkook gives him a thumbs up.

“Oh, and I'm Jimin by the way.” He says before returning to his table.

Fuck. It’s only been a few minutes and Jungkook is already in deep.

Jungkook decided to compromise on his order. He ends up with a BigMac, but with a bottle of chocolate milk on the side. He only realizes that Jimin might think that he is an actual five year old, but he decides that fuck it, no matter how cute a guy, if he doesn’t appreciate some good chocolate milk, bye bitch.

He slides into the booth, sitting himself next to Jimin. The latter introduces him to Lee Seulmin and vice versa.

“Jeon Jungkook, wow, I can’t believe I’m actually sitting and talking to you right now. It’s an honor.”

Wow, the first words out of Lee Seulmin’s mouth and they’re making Jungkook feel like his face is turning into plastic. Jungkook’s not salty about him following Jimin around at all. Nope, not a chance.

Nevertheless, Jungkook was raised to be polite to others, so he attempts a smile. “Hi, nice to meet you too.”

Lieslieslieslies.

“So how did you know Jiminie here?”

Jungkook hears a quiet voice beside him say, “Don’t call me that.”

He frowns when he realizes that it was Jimin who said that. He figures that Jimin was probably feeling very uncomfortable right now, so in an act of impulse, he wraps a comforting arm around the smaller’s shoulders.

He feels the other stiffen, before relaxing into his hold. Jungkook is currently unable to function properly because oh my fuck a whole mochi is leaning on him he is melting, he cannot handle this.

“I met Jiminie,“ Oh yeah. “Through a mutual friend of ours. We connected really well, so we decided to have lunch together.” He feels Jimin nods cutely beside him. Jungkook is ready to bust all his UWUs for him, at this point.

“Oh. So.. you’re not dating each other or anything like that, are you?”

Jungkook freezes. That’s...an interesting question. He turns to look at Jimin, only to see the other staring back at him with a spark of trust.

“Yes.”

An act of impulse part two, Jungkook is tugging Jimin closer to his broad chest. Suck it, Lee Seulmin, Jungkook thinks gleefully.

Seulmin’s eyes widen in shock. “Oh, I didn’t know!” He gives Jimin a dirty look that makes Jungkook want to punch it off his face, “I guess this is the reason why you’re always rejecting me?”

Jimin nods again beside him. Even in this situation, Jungkook is feeling victorious and he is questioning his emotion-generator because what the fuck, feelings?

Seulmin clicks his tongue in annoyance, “Alright. I get it. I’ll leave now.” And he does so without even a wave of goodbye.

Jimin lets out a breath of relief once Seulmin is out of sight.

Jungkook is content looking at his mochi’s face. “Um, you’re feeling better?” He asks awkwardly.

The blond gives him a blinding grin. Oh my god, his front tooth is slightly crooked that is so cute. “Yeah. he’s been on my nerve since first semester. I was this close to filing a restraining order. You have no idea how thankful I am.”

Jungkook returns his smile, “No problem! So now that I’ve fulfilled your wishes, how about you fulfill one of mine?” Jungkook chokes internally because wow, that sounded so much more different in his head.

Jimin giggles. He giggles. And it sounds like tinkling bells and cotton candy mixed together. What? Jungkook doesn’t even know at this point.

“That sounded exactly like what a fuckboy would sound like.”

“T-that’s not what I meant!” He sputters in defense.

Jimin continues to tease him. “Aw, you’re cute, Jungkookie.”

“I’m not cute, I’m manly.”

“Mm, not with that pout you’re not.”

“Shut up.”

Jimin gasps, “I’m older than you, you should be calling me hyung!”

Jungkook’s jaw falls open. It’s incomprehensible that this cute, mochi of a human could be older than him. “There’s no way you’re older than me.”

Jimin smirks, “95 liner, bitch.”

“Fuck.”

Jimin lets out an evil giggle. It’s still cute.

“You’re only two years older! It’s not that big of a difference!” Jungkook argues.

“2130 more bowls of rice, baby.”

B-Baby? Is Jimin already trying to kill him? Jungkook tries to recompose himself by giving him some snark.

“Wow, you’re so mature.”

“Thank you, I am.”

“That was sarcasm.”

Jimin’s eyes sparkle with mirth. “I don’t care.”

Their playful banter was really cute, like, five-year-married-couple cute. But Jungkook also reallyyyyy wanted a chance with his mochi. So he gathers up whatever courage and cockiness he has.

“So you don’t wanna go on a date with me?”

“No, I-”

Jimin stops abruptly. Could he just reject him faster so Jungkook can get the fuck out of there and cry in Jin hyung’s arms?

“Are you serious?”

Jungkook’s eyebrow twitched. Did Jimin think he was playing a joke on him? “As serious as your stalking crisis.” He says determinedly.

Jimin gives him a scrutinizing once-over before agreeing. “Fine. I’ll go on a date with you.”

Jungkook hears fireworks behind him and his eyes light up with glee as he pumps his fist in victory. “Yes!”

“But let me finish my nuggets first.”

Jungkook looks at his nuggets in mild offence. “Hyung, you aren’t serious.”

Jimin only smirks as he dips the chicken into a packet of sweet ‘n sour sauce. Absolutely incomprehensible.

“As serious as my stalking crisis.”