Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Interlude 1

102 AH

Clarke had been running for what felt like days. In truth, she knew, it had been weeks, months even, that she'd ran away from her home. Between hunting to survive and avoiding the orcs battalions moving around the mountains, she'd kept busy, able to forget the smoke and the fire, and the blood. But this really felt like the end.

She'd been crossing yet another river, cold water bitting her angles and soaking her leather boots. She walked carefully, hefting what little she carried on her shoulders. A few stones rolled under her feet, but she'd managed to keep her balance through the crossing.

She didn't know whether she heard them first, or they'd caught her crossing first, but suddenly she'd heard loud footsteps coming from behind her. Branches cracking. War cries, sending chills down her spine. She'd glance behind her, and saw shadows running down the slope of the hill, through slim trees, all huddled together. Dread sank deep into her stomach. How she'd manage to have an entire division sneak up on her was the real head-scratcher, but she didn't have time to think about it. She ran as quickly as she could to the river bank.

She'd barely taken a step on dry stones that she heard swords and shields banging together, the sound of orcs ready to attack. She'd barely glanced behind her, seeing twenty, maybe thirty of those gray-skinned beasts, blood and war paint smearing their skins, yellow vicious eyes on her. She cursed under her breath and began to run to the nearest woods, hoping to hide there.

One or two orcs she could take care on her own, but twenty would be the death of her. She didn't stop to wonder whether she'd outrun them. She didn't hear them anymore, but only because the sound of blood pumping in her ears had replaced it.

She was about to decide whether to hide in a tree or continue to run when the rows of trees seemed to become sparser, and the light passed through the canopy. She was approaching a clearing. She didn't stop to think whether it was a good idea or not and ran past the last of the trees. Instantly she noticed how large the clearing was, to the point that she could only see more forest on the hill outlined along the horizon. There were large rocks formations all around the clearing, and Clarke thought she could hide behind, or even under one of them.

She instantly began to run toward some of the bigger rocks, ignoring the sun beating down on her. She'd lost the orc army for now, but once they'd cross the river it wouldn't last. She rounded a corner, ready to slip under the closest rock there, when she stopped dead in her track, stunned.

Right in front of her three orc scouts had set up camp, seating on the rocks around them. They looked just as surprised to see her. Clarke didn't wait for them to recover. She dropped her backpack to the ground and pulled her sword from its sheath on her back. It wasn't much of a weapon, really, more like the first thing she'd managed to grab before running. One of its edges was broken, and the only reason she'd kept it so far was because she refused to pick up an orc's weapon.

All three scouts stood up, their pale skin covered with dark marks and light leather armor. They picked up their swords and threw themselves at the blond. Clarke had dealt with scouts before. They were nimbler than normal orcs, lighter on their feet too, but still not as much as her.

She avoided a swing from one and blocked the other with her sword. When the third one thought he had a clear shot, dark toothy grin splitting his face, Clarke took her dagger out of her belt and tug it deep in the third orc's chest. His eyes grew wide in surprise as he stumbled backward, his sword falling out of his hand. Clarke used the surprise to push the second one away. She was lucky scouts weren't usually as strong as normal orcs, and those looked to be young and inexperienced. She ran to the third one who'd managed to take the dagger out, dark green blood sipping out of his gut. With one swift move of her blade, she cut his throat, and he fell on the grass, blood flowing out of the slash.

She picked up her dagger when two strong arms encircled her from behind, and began to tense, crushing her slowly. With a hiccup, she managed to take a deep breath and used all her strength to kick the orc's leg. It didn't seem to hurt him much, but he moved his leg away nonetheless, changing his stand. She used those few seconds when his balance wasn't secured and he wasn't paying attention to her to throw her dagger out of her hand and pick it back up, with the blade facing toward her enemy. She dug it deep in the first bit of gray flesh she could find, his forearm.

The orc stumbled with a cry of pain and let her go. She was pretty sure she had broken his bone but didn't stop to learn more. She turned around, her sword still in hand, and slashed the orc's belly. He barely had time to put his hands on the cut, preventing his guts from spilling, that Clarke ran her sword through him. He fell on his back, his blood staining the grass.

The sound of a horn being blown reminded Clarke that there was a third orc, who was now standing with a dark horn pressed to his mouth, blowing the alarm. She picked up her dagger and swiftly threw it. It landed right between the orc's eyes, but she knew it was too late. The army was bound to have heard it. She could already hear loud steps coming her way.

Without thinking, she picked up her bag and her dagger and threw herself under the closest rock. The space dug under there was just large enough for a human being, and she prayed no one would notice her.

The orcs arrived loudly, their steps echoing around the clearing, probably all the way to the forest. They stopped at the sight of their dead scouts, and Clarke saw them disperse, if only a bit, probably looking for her. One of them walked closer and closer to her stone, each of his stomping steps making her heart beat faster. She was completely stuck. If he were to find her, it would be the end. Her grip tightened on her dagger.

Suddenly, she heard the air trembling, and a volley of arrows landed on the ground in front of her, killing effectively a few orcs, including the one so close to her.

She then heard it. What she'd thought were the footsteps of orcs before, she now realized were hooves beating the ground. Horses came galloping down the clearing, and one after the other their riders jumped off their backs. Clarke counted five of them, not much against thirty orcs, and she almost hoped they were only the first wave. She knew they were probably scouts as well, and while it sounded cold-hearted she hoped their attack on the orcs and subsequent death at their hands would make the orcs forget about her.

However, it quickly became clear that the humans were winning, thanks to a single person. Clarke realized midway through the fight that she'd been staring at her and her alone. Short brown hair flowing in the wind, face covered in blood but not her own, and for a split second, she noticed the girl had forest green eyes. Her moves were swift but deadly. She slashed and pierced her way through the orc battalion like they were melting butter.

When the orcs tried a counter-offensive, sending a volley of arrows of their own, they all landed in the girl's wooden shield, and she went back to beheading almost instantly. Clarke couldn't help but stare at her. The way the girl moved, the way she fought, with precision and controlled fury, it all felt so familiar for the blond, as if she'd seen it before.

When one of the orcs finally managed to land a blow on her, a scratch on her cheek which barely drew blood, he was rewarded by blade through the belly. The girl had twirl nimbly and stabbed him with her back to him. She let go of her swords for a second, taking a dagger from her belt and throwing it with deadly precision to the closest orc, saving the life of one of her companions, before picking her sword out of her previous target's belly.

Soon enough the fight was over, with not a single human wounded beyond a scratch, and all the orcs dead. Clarke was speechless. This wasn't a scout unit, she realized when she looked more closely at their uniform. This was an elite task force, and there was only one person leading those kinds of group.

"Heda!" one of them called while they'd been surveying the battlefield for anything useful.

The girl walked up to her companion, and he picked up something from the ground, which he gave to her. She seemed to be looking at it longly.

"It's a human necklace alright."

Suddenly dread filled Clarke's chest. She brought her hand to her neck, and found it empty, the usual family pendant hanging there gone. She cursed herself mentally. It must have fallen off when she was fighting the orcs. The girl continued to study it for a few seconds before she called:

"Octavia."

One of her companions, a girl with long dark hair and war paint around her eyes walked up to her.

"Isn't this the Skikru symbol?"

She handed the necklace to Octavia who looked at it under the sun's light.

"Sha, Heda. But usually, this necklace is worn by the members of the royal family."

Heda picked it up and looked at it for a few more seconds before she looked at the horizon. Her gaze then found the three scouts. In the mess of orcs bodies and dark green blood, she still managed to discern that those three hadn't been killed by her group.

"Well, whoever they are, they're skilled fighters."

"A messenger maybe?" someone suggested.

"If that's true, then let's hope we found them first."

Heda whistled and her horse came trotting to her. She took the necklace and placed it around her neck, for safe keeping. She then climbed up her horse.

"Lincoln, Octavia. Ride to Arkadia. Report to me if you see anything unusual on the way."

Octavia and the man who'd found Clarke's necklace stood up and climbed up their own horses.

"Sha, Heda."

They disappeared in the forest only a few short seconds later.

"Anya, search the perimeter. If you don't find anyone from Skikru before sunset, come back to Polis."

A woman with light chestnut hair nodded and climbed on her own horse, galloping toward the south of the clearing.

Heda waited while her last companion climbed up her horse, her gaze running over the clearing one last time before she turned around, and headed back to the forest, back to Polis.

Under her rock Clarke was stunned. They still didn't know Arkadia had been destroyed. Their messenger had probably never arrived. They never sent help, because they didn't know Arkadia was only a pile of ashes and blood, and corpses left to rot in the sun. But they would know soon enough. Once Heda's scouts would arrive at Arkadia they would know, and they would probably meet with the few people left alive, who would tell them their Princess was on her way to find some help. And Clarke now knew where to find help.

After taking a deep breath she crawled out of her hiding hole, sheathed her weapons and climbed up one of the tallest rock around. If she wanted the other woman to see her and bring her to Polis as quickly as possible, then she needed to make herself visible, for the first time in weeks.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

First Meeting

Lexa didn't know why Lincoln had insisted so much on her meeting one of his girlfriend's friend. While she'd refused categorically to go on a blind date, mostly because she didn't think only good things of Lincoln's girlfriend, and feared her friends were much like her, but also because she felt weird going on date with people she had never met before. So, she'd agreed to a meeting, the four of them meeting in a small diner close to campus after class.

She'd arrived just on time, and hoped she wasn't the first because it would fall on her to pick a table. Her fear was slightly eased when she noticed Lincoln seating by the window, waving at her. She came to sit across from him and glanced around the room.

"They should be here any minute, their last class ran a bit late."

Lexa nodded and ordered a tea. She then leaned back in the booth, making the leather creak, and asked:

"I still don't get why you absolutely want me to meet Octavia's friend. What's her name again?"

"Clarke."

Lexa felt a strange feeling wash over her. It was the same which had given her this intense nervousness she'd first felt when the name of her blind date had reached her ears. Clarke. She couldn't forget it. It'd been echoing in her brain for the past few days.

"She's nice. Octavia thinks you'll fit well together."

"And you, what do you think?" she asked.

"I kind of have to agree with her, actually."

Lexa crossed her arms. The ball of nerve rolling around in her stomach was hot and uncomfortable. She wished the waiter would hurry in bringing her tea because she wanted to drown it.

The bell at the door rang, and her gaze looked instantly at the entrance. She recognized Octavia easily and frowned at the sight of the girl with her. Blond, with her hair falling over her shoulders. A determined expression on her face. The ball in Lexa's stomach seemed to grow. The girl, Clarke, looked at her, and Lexa felt she had to look away.

Lincoln seemed amused by his cousin's shyness, as he waved the girls over. They quickly made their way over, Octavia sliding into the booth next to her boyfriend.

"Sorry, but this lunatic of Jaha wouldn't let us go!" she declared.

Lexa was expecting to feel the booth dip beside her, but instead, she heard the blond clear her throat. She'd been stubbornly looking at the table, but now felt she had to look up. Her eyes accidentally fell on Clarke's, forest green meeting sapphire blue. She drowned in them. Her nervousness suddenly disappeared when she was staring into those eyes, but it came back tenfold when she had to look away because Clarke was talking to her.

"Hi. I'm Clarke Griffin."

She extended a hand. Lexa had to swallow before she could introduce herself.

"I'm Lexa Woods."

She took the blonde's hand and felt electricity rolling along her skin. She almost wished it would end, but their hands slid away, and Lexa wished they could have continued to hold hands.

Finally, Clarke sat down beside her and quickly hid her face behind the menu. The waiter brought Lexa her tea and took the other girls' order. Clarke ordered a caramel latte, and Lexa felt her heart sink. Her mind had conjured the idea only a few seconds before the blond had spoken them. How could she know that?

Lexa blew on her tea and sipped on it, ignoring the burning liquid rolling off her tongue. She needed to clear her mind and think of something else, but with the blonde so close, it was impossible. There was something frighteningly familiar in the heat irradiating from Clarke's body, and her scent which Lexa couldn't help but pick up on.

She almost dropped her cup out of sheer nervousness when Clarke finally decided to talk to her:

"I saw you last week, in Arts and Politics. You were late."

Lexa nodded. She remembered it clearly. She'd had a hard time finding the room, and had arrived almost twenty minutes late. But she didn't remember seeing the blond, though her brain assured her that she had seen her before.

"Yeah, I was… lost." She replied, before sinking back into her beverage.

She prayed the tea could push away the lump in her throat, but it was unsuccessful at it. She tried to ignore the curious gaze of their friends on the other side of the table. She tried to ignore the way the blonde was obviously trying to start a conversation. She tried to ignore how she felt like she was drowning in the worst possible way, her nervousness swallowing her completely.

She must have looked strange, maybe pale, because suddenly Clarke was placing a hand on her shoulder, and the heat passing through her clothes was ridiculous. She wanted to jump away but found she couldn't.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm… er…"

She suddenly felt her phone vibrating in her pocket and she took the opportunity. She slid away from the blond, her hand leaving a frozen spot on her shoulder, and she looked at her phone.

"It's my sister. I have to go, I'm sorry."

"Oh…"

Clarke seemed a bit disappointed but stood up nonetheless, leaving her enough space to slide out as well.

"Sure."

"I'm sorry. It was… nice meeting you."

"You too."

Lexa ran out of the diner faster than she'd ever exited any building, her heart pounding in her chest. Unfortunately, she made the mistake of looking back at the blonde still staring at her. Her heart stopped. There were sadness and disappointment in Clarke's eyes, and Lexa felt terrible being the reason for it. It was only when she'd exited the building that she realized how crazy this sounded. She didn't know the blonde, they had barely exchanged two sentences, and yet. This simple idea terrified her to no end. She knew, somehow, that the blond would be the end of her, and she vowed to never see her again.

Chapter Text

Interlude 2

1978 AC

Lexa was running as quickly as her powers allowed her, jumping from building to building with the agility of a cat. Her eyes were glowing green, so she could see even better than a regular human being, and each of her movements left a green trail behind her as if she were moving too quickly for the human eye to pin her shape down.

In front of her was still frantically running the villainous Spacewalker, who'd killed over two dozen people over the past few weeks. She had lost him once, but she wouldn't lose him this time. Thanks to her powers, she was catching up to him, and there was nothing his floating ability could do to help him this time. Her hand came to rest on the hilt of her sword hanging at her belt, ready to pull it out and cut the psychopath if she had to. She saw him glance behind him, and she frowned, her gaze closing in on him. She knew she must have looked terrifying form here, and the thought alone made her want to smile.

While her well-trained eyes were still focused on the villain, something caught her attention at the corner of her eyes. It was fast, not as fast as her, but still enough to jump in front of Spacewalker. He stopped dead in his tracks, and Lexa saw the way his legs were flexing, ready to propel himself toward the sky. She accelerated, ready to stab his heel and prevent him from running away, but she didn't have to.

Spacewalker suddenly stumbled forward, one hand holding him on his knees while the other reached for his throat. Lexa slowed down. Something had stopped him, or rather someone. As the man had fallen over he'd revealed another hero standing in front of him, the reason he'd tried to jump away to begin with. Lexa's attention only snapped to them for a second, enough time to make sure they were friendly – to her anyway – before she focused once again on Spacewalker. He looked quite close to dying, though he seemed the other hero's grasp was the only thing keeping him alive. He was chocking, but his skin hadn't turned red from discomfort. Rather, it was gray, and veined, the skin looking as if it were very close to rotting. His eyes were already turning white and woolly as if he were blind. The hand grasping his neck, trying to stop an invisible hand from chocking him, was also looking rotten and dead. A large cut had appeared along the back of his hand, and Lexa remembered doing it to him a couple weeks ago when she'd first encountered him. But this time the cut looked infected, and the skin around it was black and dark red.

Deciding the man had suffered enough, she took a pair of manacles from her utility belt. The other hero, seeing the restraint, released Spacewalker from their grasp. His skin turned beige once again, the cut on his hand disappearing altogether while his eyes lost their glassy look. He gasped, still struggling to breathe, and Lexa chained both of his hands in his back. He was in no state to run anyway.

Still holding the criminal by the handcuffs, Lexa looked at the other hero. To her surprise, it was a woman wearing a somewhat similar type of costumes then hers. Metal shoulder-pads and a breastplate. The rest, however, was far different. Her entire costume was dark, and even in the morning light, Lexa had a hard time discerning her legs from the black cape flowing behind her. A hood rested above her head, and a white skull-like mask rested on her head, only leaving enough space for her eyes – two sapphires piercing through the bone color of her mask.

While Lexa felt she had seen those eyes before, she didn't stop to consider it much longer.

"I had the situation under control." she declared as she heaved Spacewalker over her one of her shoulder as if he weighed nothing.

"A 'Thank you' would be enough" the blue-eyed girl replied, crossing her arms.

Lexa looked her up and down. She'd never seen this girl before, in costume anyway.

"You're new, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I just arrived."

"You got a certificate?"

The blond began to laugh incredulously.

"Wow, you want to see my certificate? And why not my birth certificate while we're at it?"

Lexa was about to reply to her that if she didn't have one she would have to arrest her as well, but she heard her pager beep in one of her pockets. Her morning meeting was in half an hour.

"You're lucky I have to run. Next time you better stay out of other heroes' business. Find your own battles to fight."

The other girl groaned, as Lexa turned around and began to run away as quickly as she could.

She barely had time to drop off Spacewalker at the nearest police station and run to her office downtown. She had a very important business meeting this morning, with a potential associate over a partnership. She couldn't afford to be late, and arriving in costume wouldn't do either.

She climbed up the nearest roof and continued to run from rooftop to rooftop, climbing higher and higher the closer she got to downtown. On her way she saw multiple other heroes in action, but no sign of the newbie. She hoped the girl would stay out of trouble.

By the time she reached her building she found her office window open, as usual. After a quick glance around to make sure no one was looking, she jumped through it and it instantly closed. She rolled, breaking her momentum, and stood up, already taking her mask off, a black piece covering her eyes.

"You're late!"

Lexa looked over to the door, where her best friend and one of her former crime-fighting partners was standing. Anya looked displeased, leaning against the door frame, the door resting behind her to hide Lexa inside. She'd been the one mentally closing the window upon Lexa's arrival.

Lexa glanced at the clock on her wall.

"I still have ten minutes to spare. And I caught Spacewalker."

"I know, it's all over the news. Now get changed, and you better be on point at this meeting."

"Have I ever let you down?" Lexa asked as she began to pull on her boots to take them off.

"I'm not even going to reply," Anya said as she walked out, closing the door behind her.

It had taken five minutes for Lexa to change and hide her costume behind a pivoting wardrobe in her wall. She'd exchanged her shoulder-pads, metal plated costume, sword and red cape for a white shirt, black pants and black jacket, a very formal attire for a very formal meeting. Files in hands she'd walked through the building, reaching the meeting room in record speed and with determination in her eyes.

When she walked inside, she found Anya talking with a blond in a black suit and pencil skirt. They both stood up and Lexa lied:

"I apologize. There was a sudden urgent matter to attend to."

She looked over at the blond as Anya introduced them:

"May I present Alexandria Woods, our head of department. Miss Woods, this is Clarke Griffin, the new head of the medical department at Ark Inc."

Lexa extended a hand as her face continued to scan the blond's face. There was something awfully familiar about the blond, though she couldn't understand why. She'd never seen her in the newspaper, that she was sure of, or else she wouldn't have forgotten about it. Such a pretty face was unforgettable. The blond took her hand, shaking it, and Lexa's gaze found her. And she knew. Those two sapphire-like eyes. The girl from before. Her hand felt cold in hers and something flashed in the blond's eyes. Recognition.

She let go of Clarke's hand, and a long shiver ran down her spine as the blond continued to observe her.

"Shall we... get to work?" Anya suggested as she felt the tension between the two.

"Of course," Clarke said. "Who knows when Miss Woods will have another urgent matter to attend to."

As the blond walked around the table to sit across from the duo, Anya sent a side glance to Lexa. The two sat down, and Lexa opened the file in front of her.

"So, as it had been agreed before by your predecessor, this is the reworked contract. We will provide help in building the greenhouses, of course, and all employees will be formed in environmentally friendly ways to cultivate medicinal plants," she explained.

She slid a few pieces of paper clipped together to the other side of the table, careful to make eye contact with the blond but not too much. Clarke picked it up and began to read through it. Meanwhile, Lexa was trying her best not to show any sign of her mental communication with Anya.

"I swear if she's one of your former one-night stands..."

"She's not! I swear! I stumbled upon her this morning."

"As Heda?"

"Yeah. Actually, she's a super herself. Helped me catch Spacewalker."

"Did you thank her?"

Lexa pursed her lips, pretending to be waiting for Clarke to be done.

"Lexa I swear to God if she says no because you wanted to play big bad Heda again..."

Clarke looked up, putting the contract on the table.

"Everything seems to be in order. Just, one last thing."

Anya once again side-glanced at Lexa, who didn't know whether to look business-like or make herself as small as possible.

"What is it?" Anya asked.

"I need the certificates."

Anya frowned, and Lexa barely held in a groan.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Those greenhouses, all those infrastructures the contract talks about. I want to make sure they are really environmentally friendly, which is why I need their certificates."

Anya and Lexa exchanged a look. Who would ask the certificate of environmentally friendly structures to the heads of the environmental department? Apparently, Clarke just did.

Anya stood up quickly and declared:

"Alright, I'll go get them. Lexa."

The brunette looked at her friend and saw fury in her eyes. She winced inwardly.

"Deal with the rest." Anya only said before leaving the room.

Lexa followed her friend as she exited the room and finally dared to look back at the blond.

"So tell me," Clarke asked. "What gave me away?"

"The eyes. Me?"

"I don't know. Was it the bossy attitude when you walked in or the fact that you didn't bother to unbraid your hair."

"Actually I wear my hair like that all the time."

"Well, maybe you should consider changing it."

There were a few seconds of awkward silence before Clarke asked furiously:

"My certificate, really?"

Lexa felt shrunk by the blond's anger.

"I'm sorry but..."

"I just helped you capture a dangerous psychopath and the first thing you ask is my Hero certificate?"

"Well yeah. I mean I had never seen you before around here, and sometimes newbies are not..."

"I'm not a newbie, alright. And I have a certificate if you must know. And a name too."

Lexa sighed, admitting defeat.

"What's your name, then?"

"It's Wanheda."

"The Commander of Death? It's... fitting, I guess."

"What is that suppose to mean, Commander?"

"I mean... Your powers..."

Lexa felt like she was walking on eggs, and decided it was better not to offense the blond more. Think of the contract, she continued to repeat to herself.

"Again, I'm sorry. And thank you. For this morning."

Clarke smiled.

"You're welcome. Call me anytime you need help, you know. You don't have to do things alone."

Lexa shook her head.

"Thank you but I work alone."

Clarke grinned.

"I don't believe it's going to last."

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Terrifying thoughts

Clarke had been disappointed, to say the least. She didn't believe she'd come on too strong on the brunette, keeping all her weird visions to herself. She had watched her go with a tight heart, and while she'd told Octavia she was fine, the truth was otherwise. She wanted to convince herself that it just wasn't meant to be, but she knew it wasn't the case. But that wasn't the worst part.

In the following days, she saw Lexa more and more, passing her in hallways or seeing her walk across the park with confident strides. Sometimes she would even walk out of a class, only to find Lexa standing in the hallway, right outside the door. Every time, she tried a smile, and hello, a wave. Every time she was greeted by less than a glance, or Lexa would be looking away, ignoring her. Every time her heart would clench in her chest.

Clarke's mood during those few days was at its worst. She continued to have more and more visions, but they all felt like lies, taunting her, showing her what she could have, and never would. Octavia tried to talk to her, even Raven tried, but Clarke wouldn't speak, too afraid to break if she did.

She decided once again that she needed a break. And since seating in the park under a tree hadn't done it before, she decided to change air completely. She took the approaching weekend as an opportunity, and drove away from campus, to the other side of town. She parked her car in front of a suburb house, blocking the car already parked in front of the garage, and climbed off.

She looked around. Her childhood home hadn't changed one bit since she'd left, except for the flowers dying in the front yard. She really needed to tell her father about watering those more often. She walked up to the front door and rang. The door opened only a few seconds later, and her father appeared on the other side, smiling at her sight.

"Clarke! I didn't know you were coming over!"

"I just… I needed to get my head out of… everything."

He nodded and opened the door for her to step inside. Soon enough they found themselves in the kitchen, around two mugs of hot chocolate, and Jake was trying to pry his daughter open, one sweet word at a time.

"It's too bad your mom couldn't be there. She'll be sad when she hears you came by."

Clarke shrugged.

"I can always stay for dinner. It's just… I can't talk to her about it. I can't talk to anyone about it without feeling like… I don't know."

"Well, maybe if you told me about it I could help."

"I don't think you can, it's… It's about the visions."

Jake nodded. It had been a while since Clarke hadn't had trouble with those.

"What? Have they stopped?"

"No. Actually, I've had visions more often than before. But it's because of…"

She took a deep breath.

"Remember when I told you one of the girls in those visions was me? And you said it didn't mean anything? Well, I met the other girl. Her name's Lexa."

Jake nodded.

"Go on."

So, Clarke did. She told him about the first time she'd seen her, in class. She told him about their first meeting, which was still obsessing her. She told her about how Lexa was avoiding her now, though she didn't know what to do about it. And she told him how she felt like nothing had ever made more sense than when Lexa was close to her. Jake listened, stoically, until she was done. Finally, he asked:

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

She sighed.

"I don't know. The last time someone asked me this question I also said I didn't know, and it didn't matter."

"But now it does."

Clarke fell silent, drinking the last of her hot chocolate. Once she placed he mug back on the table her father reached for her hand.

"I know you, Clarke. You're stubborn and determinate. What you want, you get, or you'll die trying. Remember that time you wanted to save a cat from a tree and you managed to carry my ladder all the way to the backyard on your own? That day I knew nothing would ever be able to stop you."

"So what do you suggest?"

"First, go talk to her. Ask her why she's been avoiding you. Then, it's up to you. Ask her out if you think it's a good idea. Don't."

Jake shrugged.

"I know you'll make the right choice."

She'd seen Lexa crossing the park to go from a building to another, and she'd taken the opportunity. Clarke stood up and practically ran to the brunette. Lexa seemed quite unhappy to see her but made no move to avoid her, because it would have been a bit too obvious. Instead, she stopped walking, and Clarke stood in front of her, wearing the same determined expression she had when she'd entered that diner.

"Lexa, hi. Can I ask why you've been avoiding me?"

Lexa opened her mouth but closed it when her eyes met the blond's.

"I'm sorry, it's just… I don't know what to think of you, okay?"

Clarke frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I just… we haven't met before, right? But I feel like we have, and it…"

She didn't finish her thought, but Clarke understood instantly what was happening.

"You feel it too, don't you? That connection between us?" Clarke asked.

Lexa looked up, both surprised and confused.

"A connection?"

"Yeah like there's something strange between the two of us."

Lexa nodded. She wouldn't have called it a connection, but whatever it was, it was terrifying her.

"Is that why you've been ignoring me?"

"Yes."

Clarke felt her heart flutter in her chest. Somehow, Lexa felt it too. She probably didn't have visions, but she felt it anyway. How they were linked.

"Go out with me." She declared.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Go out with me. On a date. Just once."

Lexa bit her lower lip. She seemed to be considering it, but Clarke knew she would need one last argument.

"Maybe this connection is nothing, but maybe it'll continue to haunt us for the rest of our lives, and I don't want to spend it wondering what's on the other side of that familiar link I feel toward you. So, what do you say?"

Her words seemed to have struck true in the brunette's heart.

"Just one."

Clarke smiled, and Lexa blushed.

"Can I go to class now?" she asked.

Clarke quickly stepped aside.

"Er… yeah, sure. Sorry."

Chapter Text

Interlude 3

1848 AC

Lexa had woken up early this morning, leaving her sand-filled bed even before the sun was over the horizon. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. Today was the day, she knew. For a second she hesitated once again, wondering whether this was a good idea, if she wasn't reading too much into it, and would end up having to gallop away from the town before she could be promptly hanged. But like she'd always said, there is no victory without trying, and she needed to try at least.

She'd put on her old boots, attached her belt around her waist and checked whether her gun was still loaded. After spinning the revolver's ammo holder, she flipped it back in place and placed the gun in its holster. Time to go. She grabbed her old brown hat on the way out and climbed down the cricking wooden steps of the saloon to the ground floor. As expected, everyone was still asleep. She'd warned her group that she was going alone today, and hoped they remembered it through all the alcohol they'd drank the previous night. Lexa hadn't drink. She needed to be as clear-minded as possible for today's task.

She walked around the saloon until she reached the stables, where six horses resided. Four belonged to her gang, the last two belonging to the saloon. She stopped in front of her faithful steed's stable. It was a brown mare named Polaris, and she'd been her closest companion ever since Lexa had left home to become a bounty hunter.

Much like her rider, Polaris was already wide awake and ready to go. Lexa only had to saddle her and lead her out of the stables. The sun had begun to shine over the horizon, lighting the sky in a deep golden color. Though the air was still cold, Lexa didn't seem bothered by it. She climbed atop her horse and rode off, her back to the sun.

Leaving the small town was the easiest part. She only had to follow the main road until she reached a fork. She took the right, following the path climbing up the mountain. Soon enough she was leaving the plains, with its dry grass and bushes, and Polaris was climbing up a hillside path, among high trees and wet dirt. The sun had finally emerged entirely over the line of the horizon, and Lexa had to readjust her hat to block the sunlight from hitting her eyes. They rode as quickly as Polaris managed, climbing up the increasingly stiff path and zigzagging around the thin pine trees. Lexa enjoyed the rhythmical movements of her mare, as Polaris moved her head from side to side, accompanying her steps. She didn't need to be guided much, and Lexa looked around, enjoying the view. The mountain was shaped in such a way that the right side ended abruptly on a cliff just a mile from the road, and opened on a valley of high dark green mountains. Lexa could see the sky through the trunks of the trees, and the large birds of preys flying there looked ridiculously small.

It took about an hour of climbing, during which Polaris's pace never slowed down more than necessary, but finally, they pierced through the trees and found a small rocky path along the mountainside. Lexa decided to dismount there and hold her horse by the reins. The drop there was sharp and long, and one wrong move could send them both to the bottom. But Lexa wasn't afraid. She'd been told this was the most secure path, and she was determined to accomplish this day's mission even if it cost her both of her arms.

Carefully, but with as much speed as Lexa allowed herself, she led her horse along the path, the stone never once cracking of falling under them. They hugged the mountain wall, keeping as much distance as possible between them and the deep fall. Lexa dared to look down twice, her gaze falling into the shadowy valley underneath them. She discerned some trees and a few animals, though with the shadow of the mountain hiding them she couldn't tell what they were. She felt the cold wind rush past her on multiple occasions, sometimes making Polaris neigh. However, the mare stayed just as calm as her rider, never once hesitating before taking a step. Lexa was very proud of her.

Once on the other side of the path they once again had a forest to cross, though less dense and on a field. Lexa didn't hesitate. She climbed on her horse and sent her at a quick trot. Polaris zigzagged through the trees, close to a gallop, but Lexa would rain her down every time. She wanted to go fast, but going too quickly would prevent her from seeing clearly the ground, where she needed to look.

Finally, after a few minutes of searching around the forest, with Polaris's breathe and the sound of her hooves echoing along the forest, Lexa stopped her. The horse slowed down until they were standing so still Lexa couldn't hear anything besides the beating of her own heart. Those damn flowers had to be somewhere close, she knew it. She climbed off and began to walk east, toward the light of the sun. She left Polaris behind, knowing full well her trusty steed wouldn't walk too far, and a single whistle could bring her back to her.

She followed her own path, the smell of pine sap and wet soil filling her nose. She wished those flowers could have a strong smell, so it would make it easier to find them, but alas it wasn't the case.

After what felt like a good hour of searching, Lexa finally stumbled upon a promising clearing, a small circle where not a single tree had grown, just big enough for a couple of people to stand in without walking on each other's feet. The sun was bathing the clearing in a golden light, illuminating the grass there and giving it a soft green color. And there, amidst the green, Lexa saw spots of purple. With a smile on her lips, she walked closer, careful not to step on any flowers.

She fell to her knees, all too happy to have found what she was looking for. There, among the grass, wild purple flowers had grown, their petals soft and still shining with morning dew. Lexa felt her heart soring. Now it just a matter of bringing them back. She took her knife out of its sheath and began to carefully cut the flowers as close to the roots as possible.

She moved around the field as such, collecting flowers until her hand couldn't hold them anymore. Then, she took the hat off and took the ribbon tied around it, to attach all the flowers together. She tied the ribbon into a beautiful knot and admired her handiwork. She couldn't help but smile. If that didn't do the work, then she didn't know what would.

Just as she placed her knife back and was about to whistle for Polaris, she heard a ferocious groan coming from behind her. Lexa quickly turned around, her hand coming to rest on the handle of her gun. Her eyes grew wide. There, standing at the edge of the clearing was a big grizzly, its fur so dark she could barely discern the monster's eyes. But when she did, she felt along shiver run down her spine. They looked enraged.

She must have trespassed in its territory, she thought. She had dealt with bears before, but never that big. She knew if she kept eye contact and backed away, she should be fine. Maybe disappear behind the trees and climb up until the beast had given up. She forced her gaze on his and took a step back, then another. The grizzly groaned angrily and sped toward her. With lightning speed, she took her gun out of its holster and pulled the trigger. The bullet left the barrel with a loud bang, the smell of ashes filling the air. She knew the bullet had hit because the grizzly had almost tripped, but it didn't stop running either as if it didn't feel the pain. Lexa reacted as quickly as her body allowed her. She put her gun back in its holster and rolled out of the grizzly's way as it was about to stand on its back legs and hit her with its sharp claws. She then stood up and ran.

The bear ran twice as fast as her, she knew, and she wouldn't be able to keep up the short distance she'd established between them for very long. She whistled, and climbed up the closest tree, mindful of the bouquet still in her hand. Once she'd reached a branch high enough that the bear wouldn't catch her and strong enough to support her weight, she waited. Very quickly, the bear threw itself at the tree, and it shook. She held herself to the trunk, sure she wouldn't fall but still a bit afraid. She looked down. The bear was angrily jumping, trying to get to her and clawing the trunk, tearing the bark off of it.

After a quick glance at the bouquet, making sure it was still fine, she stared furiously down at the bear, still trying to climb up to her. She was almost tempted to pull her gun out and shoot it again, but she was fairly certain her bullet would barely harm it, its fur and skull so thick she knew a bullet right between its eyes wouldn't do anything.

She heard neighing faintly coming from behind her, and carefully turned around, the bear still making the tree shake with each jump. Polaris had stopped at a safe distance from the pine, and the bear had yet to notice her. Lexa knew she needed a plan, and quick. She looked at the tree canopy, and her gaze jumped from branch to branch, until she was sure of her path. The tree shook strongly, and she felt her boots sliding lightly on the branch. Now was not the time to falter. She took in a deep breath, holding the bouquet even tighter than before, and she ran.

She nimbly made her way to the end of the branch, feeling it dip lightly. She then jumped to the nearest branch, not as wide as the previous one, but just enough for Lexa to pass on without sliding off. She jumped down to the nearest branch, and walked to its end, only to throw herself on yet another branch. This time, she had to hold onto it with her hands. She quickly scrambled to the trunk and looked down. The bear was watching her do with a strange confused look, but no doubt as soon as she would jump down it would attack again. She took a deep breath, and let go of the branch.

She dropped down on the dirt heavily, and almost fell forward. She caught herself on the trunk of the nearest pine, pushing herself back up, and she ran once again. Polaris seemed to sense her urgency, and began to trot, not in Lexa's direction but rather in the opposite, much like Lexa had taught her. Lexa quickly caught up with her horse, climbing atop her with practiced ease. She looked behind her. The grizzly was very close to them. She pushed the mare to gallop, and the began to distance the bear.

A few minutes of riding as quickly as Polaris could put enough distance between the bear and herself that Lexa assumed it had given up. She truly hoped so, as she allowed her steed to slow down. Lexa took in a deep breath. She felt her heart beat in her ears. What an adventure, she couldn't help but think, and it wasn't even midday.

She looked at the bouquet which she still held firmly in her hand, and huffed. A few of the flowers were now damaged, their petals torned or twisted in a strange way. She almost considered going back to get some more, to replace the damaged ones, but she noticed the large cut along her right hand, seeping blood already. She must have cut her hand when she scaled the trees. She couldn't walk around with a bleeding hand, not when a grizzly was still probably looking for her, and mountains lions could fall on her at any second. She looked around her and realized she didn't actually recognize where she was. She sighed and urged Polaris to walk forward.

It took her a better part of the morning, but by midday, she'd made her way down the mountain and back in town. The streets were now far busier, with horses and carriages riding along the main street, and people walking around, returning to work or going home for lunch. Lexa considered dropping Polaris at the saloon first, but the prospect of stopping terrified her. She needed to deliver those flowers now, or she wouldn't do it at all. Her heart began to pound once again in her ears. Suddenly the prospect of fighting a grizzly seemed less scary.

She guided Polaris to the doctor's house, a house bigger than most in town. Flowers were growing in bushes along the path leading up to the house, but none were purple. The windows were clean, and the paint had been redone only a few months ago, Lexa knew. She suddenly felt like turning around and walking back to the old saloon, in her creaking room. She was dirty, sweating and covered with dirt and pine sap, her right hand still covered in dried blood. She looked at the flowers in her hand. They looked even more miserable than before, compared to all the flowers growing in the garden. She sighed.

Suddenly the door opened, and Lexa felt her heart stop. Standing on the other side was Clarke, her golden hair held back in a bun, her dress protected by an apron which used to be white, but was not matted in blood. Still, her sky blue eyes and smiled shine through all the red.

"Lexa, what are you doing here?"

Lexa gulped down, and climbed off her horse, careful to hide the flowers as best as she could behind her back. She opened the small portal and climbed up the path to the house. She felt her cheeks grow hotter by the second but decided to ignore it. She must have looked like a mess, she knew.

"I hope I'm not bothering you..." she declared.

"No, don't worry. We were just about done."

Lexa didn't dare to ask what the doctors had had to fix – or cut off – this time. She cleared her throat, her gaze losing itself for a second in Clarke's. Finally, she showed the flowers.

"I... hum... I mean, I know the ball is tomorrow night, and... I wanted to ask you whether you'd want to come with me... as my date, I mean, if you don't have anyone else..."

Her rambling was stopped when Clarke pressed a kiss on her cheek, and delicately took the flowers out of Lexa's hand.

"Of course I will."

She looked at the flowers and smiled.

"They're lovely. Where did you find them?"

Lexa had to pull herself back together and stop smiling before she replied:

"Up the mountain."

Lexa must have moved her hand or move in a way which had attracted Clarke's attention to her hand, she wasn't sure, but the next second Clarke was taking her injured hand in hers.

"Oh no, you hurt yourself!"

"It's nothing, really, I..."

"Come on, I'll take care of it! You can't dance with an open hand, now, can you?"

Lexa was speechless, and she let herself being pulled inside, tried to hide her smile at the feeling of Clarke's hand holding hers.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

First Date

They'd agreed on an afternoon date, meeting in a small coffee-shop right next to the campus. Lexa had decided that it was only a small thing, which probably wouldn't lead to anything, besides the blond not stalking her anymore. Yet the fear in her stomach as she entered the place was still the same as when she'd first gone to that diner, a week earlier. It even seemed worst.

As she passed the door, letting it close behind her, she instantly noticed Clarke seating at one of the tables. The blond noticed her, too, and waved at her, a smile on her lips. The flash of déjà vu which hit her was dizzying, but she walked forward, to the table, and sat down.

"Hey! You came!" Clarke declared excitedly.

It was enough to fight Lexa's dizziness. She frowned.

"Of course, why wouldn't I have come?"

Clarke's cheek turned slightly red, and Lexa couldn't help but find the sight endearing, and very familiar, which send a shiver down her spine.

"Well, I was kind of afraid I had scared you off and you only agreed so I could let you go to class."

Lexa chuckled, which made the other girl smile.

"Believe me, I don't agree to that often. But seeing the circumstances..."

Clarke nodded.

"I know. It's a bit scary, isn't it?"

Lexa nodded. She decided to not elaborate on her thought, however, as the waitress came to take their orders. Lexa ordered a tea, and Clarke a hot chocolate. They waited silently for their order, not sure what to say, leaving a cloud of awkwardness floating over them. Lexa wanted to start a conversation but found she didn't know much about the blond and didn't know what to ask her. Yet a voice in her head kept telling her to ask about art, about what Clarke had been drawing lately, as if she knew, instinctively, that the other girl was an artist. Finally, two cups were placed on their tables, and Lexa could occupy her hands with her tea. She blew lightly on the hot beverage, so focused on cooling the drink that she didn't hear what Clarke said. She looked up, only to find the blond expecting her answer.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked you what you were studying ?"

"Oh, I studying law, mostly."

"A lawyer, hum?"

Lexa shrugged.

"Hopefully. You?"

"I'm studying art."

Lexa felt her heart freeze over, but suddenly the sight of Clarke's eyes was enough to make her feel better and forget her fears. So Lexa focused on that, her perfect blue eyes. This time, instead of drowning in them, she was floating, letting herself follow the current and ignoring everything else around.

"I don't know why, but it doesn't surprise me." Lexa declared.

"What, do I look like an artist?" Clarke asked playfully.

"Well, for starters, you have some paint on your forehead."

Clarke blushed furiously, her eyes growing wide in surprise. She tried to rub her forehead, but only managed to make Lexa laugh.

"Just above your eyebrow. I don't think you can get rid of it so easily."

Clarke sighed.

"Well, I guess you'll have to continue staring at me with paint on my face."

Lexa couldn't help but blush, and she took a sip of her tea.

"What color is it?"

Lexa looked once again above Clarke's eyebrow, at the small and faint trace of paint mating her skin.

"It's teal."

Clarke frowned until she finally remembered when she'd used teal paint. She then took a sip of her hot chocolate, careful to clean her upper lip from the foam stuck there.

"So, Octavia told me you just moved in. How do you like Arcadia?"

"It's nice. Smaller than Polis but it's good. It's closer to nature, too, and I like that."

Clarke nodded.

"Have you been to the park yet? It's pretty massive so even I don't think I've ever seen it in its entirety, but still, it's pretty nice."

"Which one, the Station Park?"

"Yep."

"Yes, I did traverse it last Sunday or something."

"Traverse? Like, length or width?"

Lexa shrugged, taking another sip of her tea.

"I don't know. I went from the entrance on Maple Street to the pond and back again."

Clarke was stunned.

"That's like, seven miles! Twice!"

Clarke's stunned expression only made Lexa giggle. Soon enough, the blond joined in, the two of them laughing for what felt like no particular reason at all.

When they exited the shop, it was already dark outside. What Lexa had assumed would only be a short and forgettable date turned out to last several hours, during which they talked and laughed. Lexa had forgotten about her anxiety, and that feeling of déjà vu she'd been feeling toward the blond.

As they walked through campus, Lexa taking Clarke back to her dorm, their conversation continued. They were both close, mostly to ward off the cold, Lexa told herself, but neither of them dared to take the other's hand in hers. The thought alone made Lexa's fingers itched. She felt her hand growing hotter, ready to take Clarke's.

"And we're here."

They stopped, Lexa cursing herself for not reacting more quickly. They were standing in front of Clarke's dorm building, both unsure of what to say. Lexa placed her hands in her coat's pocket.

"Thank you for the date," Clarke finally declared. "I had a wonderful time."

"Me too. And I should be the one thanking you. It was your idea."

Clarke smiled, her feet unsure whether they should go toward the door or the girl.

"So, does that mean we can plan another one?" she asked hopefully.

Lexa smiled.

"I think we should, yes."

Clarke smiled as well and took a step closer to the brunette.

"You should smile more often, you have a beautiful smile."

Lexa felt her heart flutter in her chest. No one had ever said that to her.

"You think so?"

Clarke nodded.

"I know so."

Neither of them ever remembered who was the first to lean in, they only felt the other's lips caressing theirs, and wanted more. The kiss felt too short for Lexa, but an eternity seemed to have passed around them as if days had gone by, and they'd stayed there, kissing. Enjoying the other's closeness and warmth. Clarke seemed happy as she walked up the stairs to her dorm after their goodbye kiss. She waved at Lexa and told her good night. Lexa wasn't. She was stunned. A thousand words had come crashing into her head, and she couldn't remember a single one of them, but only remember them all at once. It was overwhelming. In that instant, it seemed the only thing keeping her sane was Clarke's kiss lingering on her lips.

Chapter Text

Interlude 4

2150 AC

Lexa's steps echoed along the white walls of the station. She could feel her heart beating faster than her feet could move forward and wished she could calm herself. The nervousness she was feeling was making her nerves tremble, and she could practically feel the electricity running under her skin.

Finally, she stopped in front of the right door and inhaled. Her hand came to knock on the door, and she waited. Unconsciously she'd taken the stand she'd learned in training as if she were about to talk to a superior. In a way, he was. While she'd changed before coming, wearing civilian clothes instead of her white guard uniform, her shoulders were still squared, and her hands resting behind her back. As soon as the door opened, though, she seemed to deflate and lose a bit of her edge.

"Oh, hi Lexa!"

"Mr. Griffin, hello. Is Clarke here? We were supposed to meet half an hour ago but she didn't show up. I just... wanted to make sure she was okay."

In truth, she'd felt her fear growing from the moment the clock had ticked past the six thirty mark. She knew they were in a station, in space, and there weren't a lot of places where Clarke could be, but still.

Clarke's dad smiled.

"Actually, she is. She's in bed with a pretty bad fever. Her mom thinks it's the flu."

Lexa let out a sigh of relieve. Jake seemed amused by the girl's reaction. Before Lexa could say that she would come back tomorrow to see whether Clarke was feeling better, he asked:

"Maybe you want to talk to her?"

Lexa hesitated. She wanted Clarke to rest so she could heal quickly, but she still wanted to make sure she was okay. Jake seemed to pick up on it and declared:

"Hang on, let me ask her."

He turned his head around, and yelled through the apartment:

"Clarke! Lexa's here to see you! Do I let her in?!"

The faint but distinctly sick voice of Clarke came through her bedroom door:

"No! Dad, please, don't!"

Jake smiled.

"Alright, come on in!"

He stepped aside, letting Lexa walk inside. While the brunette was still uncertain, she felt her feet walking passed the threshold on their own accord. Her gaze quickly scanned the living room, just as white as the rest of the station. She'd peeked inside once or twice when she'd been bringing Clarke home, but had never been inside. Jake glanced at the clock.

"I'd say you have half an hour before her mother comes home. Go on, I'll be in the living room if you guys need anything."

Lexa only nodded, and walked toward the door she assumed was Clarke's. She stopped in front of it and turned around. Jake was back on the couch, watching old TV programs once again.

"Thank you." she declared.

He looked at her over the couch's backrest, still smiling.

"Have fun!"

Lexa took the time to knock before she opened the door. She passed her head in first, just to make sure Clarke really was inside. She saw a large bump under a bundle of blankets and assumed the blond was there. She walked in, closing the door behind her.

"Your dad let me in."

"Of course he did!" Clarke replied from under the covers. "I'm fine, don't worry..."

Lexa noticed that Clarke's voice was raspier than usual, and when she heard the blond cough she understood why.

"Can I come closer?" she asked.

"No, don't! I'm a mess and you'll catch my cold!"

Lexa crossed her arms, a small smile playing on her lips.

"I don't really care."

"Still, I don't want you stuck in bed like me... It sucks... and I missed our date too!"

Lexa could hear the guilt in the blond's voice. She shrugged, though she knew the other girl couldn't see her.

"It's okay. We can arrange a new one once you're feeling better."

Clarke coughed before she could reply, and it made Lexa wince. It looked pretty serious. Tentatively, she took a few steps closer, until she found Clarke's desk chair. She took it and turned it to face Clarke's bed. The blond heard the light tapping of the feet of her chair on the ground and dared to peek out of her cover, only to find Lexa watching her with an amused smile on her lips.

"You can come out, you know?"

"You really shouldn't be here, you know? You'll get sick, and it's not enjoyable at all."

Lexa crossed her arms, leaning back in the chair.

"I can only imagine."

"If you want to know, I feel like a kettle right now. Just about to explode. I don't want you feeling bad."

Lexa couldn't help but smile.

"I'd rather feel bad than not make sure you're okay. I mean, I know you're not, but when you didn't show up I..."

She pursed her lips, not sure what to add. The blond groaned from under her cover, and it turned into a cough.

"See, I already made you feel bad! I'm so sorry! I wanted to find you and tell you I wasn't feeling alright but as soon as my mom noticed I had a fever she escorted me back to bed and forbade me from moving. I mean, I don't want to move because it hurts, but I would have sent words if I could have, I swear."

"I know you would have. But like I said, it's okay. We'll just reschedule."

While the blond continued to cough all the content of her lungs under her blanket, Lexa turned around and looked at her desk. Among the clustered table were many drawing, and Lexa noticed a few were of her, though when the blond had made them she didn't know. She'd probably drawn them from memory, which impressed her greatly. One wasn't finished though, and Lexa assumed Clarke hadn't had the time to work on it yet.

"Are you still here?"

Lexa's attention went back to the blond.

"If you weren't under your quilt you would know," Lexa replied.

Clarke sighed.

"If I come out I'll cough on you!"

Lexa shook her head.

"Come on Clarke, don't be stubborn. You must be incredibly uncomfortable under there..."

It took a good minute, but finally, Clarke emerged from her blanket and reclined her head against her pillow. She did look like a mess, with her hair disheveled, her red nose contrasting with her pale skin and her glassy blue eyes. Lexa instantly felt the urge to hug her until she felt better. Clarke pouted.

"If you're sick, it's completely your fault."

Lexa smiled and was about to reply that once again, she didn't care, but Clarke began to cough, and it quickly turned into a bad fit of coughs. Lexa instantly moved from the chair to crouch beside the blond and pass a soothing hand on her back until she was done coughing. Even through Clarke's shirt, Lexa could feel her skin radiating heat. Clarke took in a deep breath, calming herself after that bad fit, her eyes teary and the muscles around her lungs hurting as if she'd pulled something. The feeling Lexa's hand on her back, however, had made her feel at least a bit better. Unfortunately, the brunette had taken her hand away as soon as she was done coughing.

"Do you want some water?" Lexa asked.

"No, I'm okay." Clarke had managed to let out.

Lexa sat down on her bed, beside her legs. Clarke was done protesting. She knew it was too late anyway, with how much she'd coughed.

"You should get some sleep." Lexa declared.

"What, are you going to abandon me now?"

Clarke's voice croaked, and she was sure she would lose her voice before the end of the day. Lexa smiled, making Clarke's flutter a bit. She loved to see the brunette smiled.

"I thought you didn't want me here?"

Clarke shook her head as she brought her cover a bit higher, shivering though her body was burning on the inside.

"Like I said, too late. With a bit of luck once my mom sees you're here she'll lock you up in here until she's sure you're not sick too. We wouldn't want to spread the flu to everyone on the station now, would we?" the blond declared with a sly smile on her lips.

"Still, you should get some rest."

"Alright, but first..."

Lexa watched curiously as Clarke scooted to one side of her bed and then patted the empty side of her bed.

"Come here."

Lexa was hesitant at first. It wasn't like they were about to do anything, not with Clarke in such a state, but they hadn't even had their first date yet. Still, she stood up and sat beside Clarke, placing her legs on the bed as her back rested against the cold wall behind her. Clarke scooted once again closer, using Lexa's lap as a pillow, forcing the brunette to adjust her position a bit. Once Clarke was happily cuddling against Lexa, she sighed and closed her eyes.

"I knew it! It was a trap!" Lexa declared as she passed a hand through Clarke's hair. They were a bit sticky with sweat, but the brunette didn't care.

Clarke giggled, her eyes still closed.

"Now, entertain me until I fall asleep."

Lexa huffed, pretending to be annoyed by the blond's antics.

"Worst first date ever."

Clarke cracked an eye open.

"Well, you're already in my bed so I wouldn't call it a failure."

Lexa couldn't help but blush. She brushed once again Clarke's hair away from her ear.

"Alright, what do you want to know?"

"I don't know, tell me about your day?"

"Not much to say. Bellamy and I were assigned to the patrols by midday so I couldn't eat until three this afternoon, but other than that it was pretty typical. You?"

"Well, besides turning into a human radiator, not much. I helped my mom with Raven's leg, and its getting better, but she sent me home right after."

The two settled in a comfortable silence, Lexa combing delicately her fingers through Clarke's hair while the blond slowly felt sleep taking over her. Her eyes were burning, but she didn't want to fall asleep just yet.

"Saturday?"

Lexa frowned.

"What?"

"For our second first date. Usually, flu lasts for about a week, but I bet I'll feel better in five days, at worst. If you don't have a shift too late we can have our date then."

Lexa smiled and placed her other hand on Clarke's. The blond's skin was hot and damp, burning Lexa's palm, but she didn't care.

"Saturday's fine with me, but only if you're feeling alright."

For good measure, she managed to place a kiss on Clarke's forehead before she settled back against the wall.

A few seconds later Clarke's door open, and he mother walked in.

"How are you feeling, honey?"

She stopped dead in her tracks, however, when she noticed Lexa seating beside Clarke, one hand in her hair and the other holding her hand. Lexa felt the instant urge to jump away from Clarke and stand as far away from her as possible. Unfortunately, she was still stuck under Clarke's head, who hadn't even raised her head when her mom had entered.

"Hello Lexa, I didn't know you were here."

Before Lexa could explain herself Clarke declared:

"Dad let her in. It's his fault if she becomes sick!"

Abby crossed her arms.

"I told you to rest."

"I'm resting, can't you see?"

Lexa carefully and as discretely as possible untangled her hand from Clarke's hair and let go of her hand, though not without passing her thumb over the back of it one last time.

"You really should rest. I'll come see you tomorrow, alright?"

Clarke grumbled.

"You're not fun."

She stood up just enough for Lexa to slip away from her and stand up. She nodded, trying to smile one last time to Clarke but feeling too nervous under Abby's gaze.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Griffin."

"Goodbye Lexa," Abby said as Lexa passed her to exit the bedroom.

Lexa quickly bid her goodbyes to Mr. Griffin and almost ran through the front door, while Clarke huffed and brought once again the covers up to her neck. Abby sighed.

"If Lexa comes tomorrow with a fever it'll be your fault, you know."

"She won't." Clarke declared as she closed her eyes.

Abby came to sit on her bed.

"Do you still have a headache?"

"No," Clarke declared. "I'm feeling much better now."

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

The Notebook

Clarke woke up gasping for air, heaving as if she'd been drowning. She sat up instantly, feeling sweat roll down her back and neck and forehead. Across the small room, Raven groaned.

"Are you having a heart-attack?" she grunted.

After a few long breathes Clarke managed to reply:

"No..."

"Alright, then let me sleep..."

Raven rolled to face the other side, but Clarke continued to breathe heavily. After what felt like an eternity, she stood up. She was hot and sticky as if she'd been trapped in a sauna. It wasn't enjoyable in the least. But instead of going to the bathroom, she first made a stop at her desk and picked up as many of the papers and notebook laying there, and a pencil. She then blindly made her way to the door and walked out.

She shivered as soon as the door of her room closed behind her. She still didn't know what time it was but assumed it must have been early morning. Unfortunately, there weren't any windows in the corridor, and the light had turned on automatically, always diffusing the same yellow light day and night. She hurried to the bathroom, careful not to lose any of her papers. She regretted wearing long sleeves pajamas more than ever.

By the time she reached the bathroom, she was glad to find it empty. All of the late night owls had left quite a while ago, as evident by the fact that the floor was mostly dry. Clarke placed all of her papers in a corner, then placed herself in front of the closest sink. She looked at her reflection. She was tired, purple circles burning under her blood-shed eyes, making her look like a tired raccoon. She was pale, too, and her forehead was still glistening with sweat. She didn't think twice. She opened the tap on cold water at its maximum pressure and collected as much water as she could in her hands before throwing it on her face. She yelped at how cold it was. Her face now dripping, she used her tee-shirt to wash it off, as well as her hands. Finally, she sat down by her many papers.

She took one. It was something she'd drew in the last few days, a picture of Lexa – now that she knew for sure it was her there was no point in calling her the other woman anymore – bringing her flowers, a cowboy hat on her head. At the time it was all she had seen, Lexa bringing her flowers and asking her out. Now she knew. They'd gone to the dance together and had had a lovely time. They'd continued to see each other from time to time – when Lexa wasn't busy catching criminals with a nice bounty on their heads and Clarke wasn't helping her parents mend wounds. Lexa had brought her gifts, more and more extravagant. One day she told her she would have given her a ring if she could have. She told her in the old tribes inhabiting those mountains two women could get married, but not anymore. It was enough for Clarke.

A tear began to roll down her cheek, but Clarke crushed it with her sleeve. She placed the drawing to her side and picked another one. Lexa and she had been superheroes, fighting crimes together when they weren't fighting pollution in their other life. Another picture, and another tear which threatened to spill. Lexa and she, fighting against the threat of the orcs, fighting side by side and avenging her people. Unifying their people with a bonding ceremony, too. Times when they weren't even called Lexa and Clarke, but other names, and yet they always found their way back to each other. Times when they shouldn't have been, but still found a way. And times when there was nothing between them but fear.

The more Clarke looked at her drawing and the more memories came back to her. She knew they were memories now, not just visions. Somehow, something had unlocked in her brain. She assumed it was Lexa's kiss, how could it not be? Now, she remembered their whole story, and it was overwhelming. It made her heart beat to the point of breaking. She wanted nothing more than to let them all go, but one brought back another one like a chain until every timeline and every dimension was known to her.

Clarke didn't know how long she spent staring at those drawings, remembering. Only that at one point the door opened, and someone came to sit beside her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She looked up from the notebook she'd been flicking through. Raven was there, hair in a mess and obviously just as tired as Clarke. Clarke shook her head.

"It's too much. It's so much."

"Is it your visions again?"

"It's worst than that. These aren't just visions they're memories. Of us. Lexa and I, again and again. Like we're reincarnating."

Raven wasn't sure what to say, only snaked her arm around her friend's shoulder and held her close.

"Is it a good thing?" she asked tentatively.

Clarke shook her head.

"It's not. It's like a curse. We're happy, we're together, but it never lasts."

"What do you mean?"

"At one point or another, one of us always dies."

Lexa woke up with a start, breathing heavily. She touched her forehead. It was hot and sticky with sweat. Was she sick? Had she caught what Clarke had? She frowned. Clarke wasn't sick. But... She looked around. This was her room, her small apartment room. She wasn't in space, at least she was pretty sure she wasn't. She stood up hurriedly and looked out the window. It was dark, still the middle of the night, but there was ground, and trees, and the sky. With a relieved sigh, she let herself sit on her bed. Her brain was pounding against her skull.

Images continued to pass over her eyes as if she were still dreaming. She pinched her arm, multiple times, but nothing changed. Still, those images continued to haunt her. Images of herself, and Clarke. It felt like hallucinations, like she was only daydreaming, but she knew she wasn't. There were details, things she couldn't have possibly known. Like the weight of Clarke half sleeping on top of her, the way she would frown in focus when she was drawing small details, or how good she was at throwing knives.

As the images continued to pour into her brain, Lexa felt she was about to explode. It was overwhelming, drowning her in things she knew she hadn't imagined, because her imagination wasn't good enough for it. She quickly went to her small kitchenette and poured herself a large glass of water, which she downed in a single gulp, before she took another. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, her lungs crying out for air. She knew it was too late, and she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Not after everything she'd seen. But who could she talk to about it? Clarke would never believe her. She would think her crazy. No one would believe her.

She sat at her desk, pushing aside everything she'd been working on, and she looked desperately through her desk drawers, until she found a notebook barely used. She tore off the first few pages, not caring what had been written there, and she picked up a pen. Under the light of her desk lamp, she began to write.

Lexa had never had the pretension of calling herself a good writer, but she poured everything she had in this notebook. Every small imagine she could remember or would pop into her brain. She described them as precisely as she could, adding dialog when she remembered it, sometimes living blanks.

Before she knew it the sun was up, illuminating through her window, and a single text had been left on her phone.

Clarke "We need to talk."

Chapter Text

Interlude 5

2011 AC

"Haven't we met before?"

Alicia's gaze went from the locked door across from her to the blond seating against the wall to her left, crossed legged and with a shotgun laying on her lap.

"I don't think so," Alicia replies before her gaze returned to the door. The dead had been banging on it a few times now, but they had either given up or were just waiting on the other side. They were stuck in that room, for now anyway.

"Not even before the outbreak? I feel like I've seen you before."

Alicia ignored her. Elyza had joined their group two weeks ago, and Alicia had noticed the sideways glances the blond gave her from time to time, and the smiles too. She'd found her weird, at first, but it was true she did felt familiar, though just like Elyza she had yet to understand why.

The blond continued to fix her as if the answer would suddenly pop into her mind. Alicia tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of being watched and glared at the door, when a particularly loud banging made the door bend and the anchors creak. She reached for her own weapon, a baseball bat, resting on the floor beside her, but the banging stopped only a long minute later.

"It wasn't high school, was it?"

Alicia placed her bat back on the ground and looked back at Elyza. Their gaze met for a second, before Alicia looked away. It was true that Elyza's deep blue eyes were extremely familiar, as if she'd stare at them a thousand times before. It made her heart jump in her chest, adrenaline passing through her veins. There was something truly scary about it, this feeling of deep familiarity she was feeling every time she looked at the other girl.

"I doubt it."

"Yeah, me too. I mean, you told me you lived south, right? And I was in Oregon. You've never been to Oregon?"

Alicia shook her head. Truly it was a mystery neither of them would solve soon. A shadow passed in front of the barricaded window, hiding a large part of the light, but neither of them paid any attention to it. Alicia let her gaze wander over the blond's face, and every single small detail she noticed made her heart flutter even more. Why was she so familiar, yet her mind couldn't pin why? It was infuriating. Elyza seemed to be doing the same, and she frowned.

"Alright, I give up. I don't think we'll ever figure it out. Maybe I knew you in another life or something."

"Another life..."

Alicia crossed her arms, unsure of herself. She didn't really believe in those reincarnation stories. Maybe she used to, but not anymore, not after losing so many people and watching the dead walk around had become the norm. There was another banging on the door, ignored by both of the girls. Elyza looked at the sun passing through the heavy wooden planks on the window. The light was turning golden.

"Well, seems like we're stuck in here for a while..."

Elyza took her leather jacket off, revealing a large tattoo on her left bicep. Alicia frowned. The blond had never taken her jacket off since they'd met, mostly because her shirt underneath was torn apart and dirty, and so Alicia had never seen her tattoo before. So how could it feel so familiar, and yet so out of place? She'd seen that symbol before, she knew.

"That tattoo around your arm, what does it mean?" she asked.

Elyza gave it a glance, as if to make sure what Alicia was referring to, before she shrugged.

"Don't know. I got the idea for it while I was high as a kite, so I drew it and in the morning I found it was so interesting that I decided I would get it tattooed."

Alicia continued to look at it, racking her brain to find where she'd seen it before. Those circular lines, falling into a complicated pattern, almost like an inverted butterfly, and the lines almost connecting every part of it. It really did look incredibly familiar, and not knowing why was driving her crazy.

Suddenly the radio in Alicia's bag began to crackle. The loud noise was followed by more banging on the door. Alicia reached for the radio, while Elyza placed a hand on her shotgun, just in case.

"Alicia, please, come in!"

With a relieved sigh Alicia recognized the voice of her mother on the other side.

"I'm here."

"Oh thank god! Where are you? Are you with Elyza? We lost you a while ago."

"I'm with Elyza, we found a barricaded house to hide in. It's on Washington Street."

"Are you safe there?"

"Yeah, it's pretty well guarded. Just a few undead knocking on the door but it's holding strong."

"Alright, we're coming as fast as we can. Don't move."

"We're not."

The radio stopped cracking, and Alicia placed it back into her bag. Elyza glanced once last time toward the door before her hand moved away from the firearm.

"Guess cavalry's coming."

Alicia only shrugged. While she was glad they wouldn't have to spend the night in an abandoned house, Elyza's tattoo, and the familiarity she felt toward the other girl, was still killing her. In that short moment of calm, she thought it would probably be the only time she would have to figure that mystery out before they had to go back into the fray, always on their guard and thinking about death creeping ever so closely toward them.

She began to stare once again at Elyza's tattoo, longly, to the point that the blond easily noticed it.

"If you want the same, just tell me. I know I haven't drawn in a while, but I could try."

Alicia grimaced. She already had a tattoo, which she'd done painfully, by herself, when her world had been tilting more and more quickly, until it'd been pushed upside-down. She didn't want another one, didn't need another one. But she frowned. How could she so clearly see this tattoo on her, wrapping around her right arm, like it was always meant to be there? It was frightening.

"What's the point anyway? It's not like it was essential to survive." Alicia declared, a pitiful excuse to hide behind.

Elyza shrugged.

"Maybe after all the things we've been through, it should be about more than survival. Don't you think we deserve it?"

A long shiver ran down Alicia's back.

"Maybe we do..."

Those words seemed to jog her memory, only to make it run backward. It felt like déjà vu, and so much more. It felt like the earth was collapsing under her, yet she hadn't moved at all. A single glance toward Elyza told her that the blond had felt the same. Her gaze was lost, focused on something far from either of them, too far for them to reach. The blond pursed her lips, then her deep blue eyes found Alicia, who found she couldn't look away. She drowned in those eyes and would let herself drown for all of eternity if she had the choice to.

"Do you trust me?" Elyza asked.

An hour ago Alicia would have said no. She would have said Elyza was the last person she wanted to be stuck in a room with, because she scared her. The familiarity she felt toward her was dizzying, like the blond already knew her through and through.

"Yes."

Elyza stood up, placing her shotgun on the ground beside her jacket. She shuffled, crawling on her knees until she was sitting right beside Alicia. And she leaned forward, so slowly Alicia thought the kiss would never happen. But it did. Her eyes slit shut as her lips found the blond's. She felt her hand on her cheek, but also found she couldn't move.

It suddenly made sense, in a strange way. She didn't remember why Elyza had felt so familiar, why kissing her felt so familiar. But she knew it felt right, from the beating of her heart, from the sound of blood passing through her ears. Was it her soul pulsing at the back of her head, or only her brain trying to understand what was happening? She didn't know, and she didn't care anymore.

Elyza pulled away too soon for Alicia's liking and stared longly into her forest green eyes. That look was enough to tell them that the other had felt it, too. Still, Elyza shuffled away, to sit back where she'd been before.

"Not what I was expecting," she admitted.

Alicia glared at her, and she rose her hands as a sign of surrender.

"I'm not saying it wasn't good! I just thought... it's really stupid. In the moment it made sense, but I guess..."

"What?"

Elyza sighed.

"Well, I thought if I kissed you I would remember something."

Alicia cocked an eyebrow.

"Something?"

"It's hard to explain, alright? But I just thought I had remembered where I had seen my tattoo before!"

Alicia crossed her arms and sighed in turn.

"Guess we'll never get the answer."

Elyza hesitated, before she shuffled once again closer to the brunette.

"Do we really need one?"

"Well, for once I would have appreciated knowing what was going on, but I guess this one will stay unanswered as well."

Elyza smiled, seating beside Alicia, her back against the wall.

"Alright, now that we've settled this problem I want to sleep."

She let her head fall on Alicia's shoulder, and the brunette didn't try to shoo her away. Instead, she looked once again at Elyza's tattoo. She let her fingers dance over it, then her hand slipped lower, until she found Elyza's. She took it in hers, entwining their fingers. Elyza smiled and closed her eyes. She could swear that she saw images dancing in the back of her head, but ignored them.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Epilogue

2085

For as long as Lexa could remember, she'd always have vivid dreams of the same two women, sometimes living together in the middle of nowhere, sometimes in dark busy cities, but always being torn apart by one thing or another. When she reached the age of eighteen, she knew only one thing for sure: One of those two women had been her all along. But she wasn't afraid. Instead, she felt lucky, to think that one day she would be blessed with so much love.

It had taken her a few months to track down what she'd been looking for. Between the first time, she'd had that vision, herself and the other girl walking hand in hand, leaving behind something buried, and the moment she'd finally seen where they'd been, she'd been obsessing with the idea of discovering what was buried there. Now that she knew both what and where, it was time to act.

Like her previous incarnation, she sneaked into Station Park, though this time she was alone. Her heart panged at the thought. She'd yet to find her soulmate this time, and it was eating her from the inside. She walked through the park, unafraid of the darkness surrounding her. She found the tree in the distance, like a giant beacon. It'd grown since the time the previous Lexa had been there, both taller and wider, and Lexa feared its roots may have blocked the access to the notebooks. Only one way to find out.

She began to dig with all the strength she had, her shovel pushing away more and more dirt each time. She wasn't sure of the exact position anymore, now that her only indication had changed, but she dug as deep as she thought would be needed, before she moved slightly closer to the tree, and began to dig again.

It took her five tries before her shovel finally hit something solid which wasn't roots. Her arms were aching from pain, her shoulders killing her, but she didn't care. She kneeled down and began to dig with her hands, clawing at the earth until her hands felt plastic under them. She quickly took it out and cleaned her hands on her pants as best as she could. She felt like crying of relieve. They were there, they really existed, just like everything she'd dreamed before. Carefully, she opened the bag. The air inside smelled of old paper, and Lexa truly hoped they would still be readable.

"Lexa?"

She looked up quickly, only to be blinded by the flash of a light. She blinked a few times and the beam was lowered to the ground. There, standing on the other side, was a girl so familiar it made Lexa's heart ache.

"Clarke?"