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Pull the Blackout Curtains Down

Summary:

Who knew forgetting to close your curtains could lead to one of the most embarrassing moments of Jason and Dick's lives.

At least Roy is there to help (not really).

Notes:

#5 of the JayDick-Hell Fic Event!

For: Arimacat

Catch me on Tumblr: JayDick-Hell

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

There were few things in this world more relaxing than a nice, hot shower. It really helped to soothe the many aches in Dick's muscles and ease his mounting tension. Between being a full-time cop and volunteering at a youth center, he was left with precious little time to really unwind after a hard day. It also had a tendency of leaving him a little scatterbrained every now and again. There was often so much on his mind that he forgot the little things. Things he should most assuredly remember. Things like the fact that his new neighbors just moved in.

One couldn't truly fault him for not remembering to close the curtains on his patio windows before showering. He was too busy thinking about the new case given to him by Amy to bother. He toweled off his hair, dropped the fabric, and made the short venture from the bathroom to his bedroom. It was really quite unfortunate that it would cause him to walk straight passed said large windows. Even more unfortunate was the fact that his new neighbor chose that very moment to look up and see him walking stark naked through the room. Dick wouldn't even have noticed if it weren't for the very prominent, very loud "HOLY FUCK!" that rang out.

Immediately, Dick whipped his head around to find the source of the exclamation. That's when he made uncomfortable eye contact with the startled (and attractive) stranger in the next house over. For a moment, they just stared, too stunned to move. Then, Dick let out a garbled sound of embarrassment as he dove to close the curtain and move out of view. So frenzied was his maneuver that he accidentally ripped the curtain from its rod and crashed to the floor. Thankfully, he fell out of sight so his new neighbor wouldn't see his frantic naked flailings and think him even more pathetic.


Jason was not fairing any better, truth be told. He'd just moved into the place with his best friend, Roy Harper, and was currently unpacking boxes. Catching the sight of something moving in his peripheral is what caused him to look up at his neighbor's place. It was a reflex reaction, really. He had absolutely zero interest in whoever lived next to him. It was just that the eye was naturally drawn to movement. Well, it just so happened that the movement was his neighbor. His very naked, very hot neighbor. Jason had no intention of saying anything, let alone fucking shouting, but he was so shocked by the absurd amount of attractiveness he was witnessing that it just slipped out. Loudly.

"HOLY FUCK!"

The reaction was instantaneous. His neighbor looked at him, and goddamn it, he had a pretty face too. Shit. Shit. They stared at one another as the sheer level of awkwardness thickened the air. Then, the man moved and so did Jason. He threw himself to the ground behind his counter as if dodging a grenade. For the next ten minutes, he sat with his back to the wood, head in his hands, and face unbearably hot. 'What a great first impression, Jason. Good job! You look like a fuckin' pervert now.' He mourned for his now deceased social life because there was absolutely no way he could leave his house after this. At that moment, Roy walked through the door, arms laden with grocery bags. Jason immediately bolted up and grabbed his shoulders in a death grip.

"Roy, we need to move. Now."

The redhead gave him a wide-eyed look at the sudden statement. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the frantic man.

"We can burn this place down, get the insurance money, and then move somewhere nicer. Far, far, FAR away from here."

Roy snorted at the plan. Then, he shouldered his way past his friend to set the bags on the counter so he could give Jason his undivided attention.

"Jay, we're not moving. One, we just moved here. Hell, we're still unpacking boxes! And two, we can't burn this place down for the insurance money. ...Kory would kill us."

He grumbled that last bit out as if he had personal experience with her wrath over insurance fraud. Honestly, that wouldn't surprise Jason at this point. They couldn't worry about that now, Jason had worse problems.

"No, dude, you don't get it. We need to move. Like...now."

Finally, Roy seemed to take the situation somewhat seriously and gave him a worried look.

"...Why? Jason, what did you do? Oh God, you didn't get the cops on us already, did you?"

For a moment, Jason gave an offended look and scoffed.

"Me? The cops aren't after me! You're the one wh- You know what? Nevermind, that's not important. What is important is that we get the fuck out of here."

At this point, Roy was just exasperated with Jason's frantic yet vague panicking.

"But why?"

Finally, Jason paused and looked away from his friend. Oh god, his face was beet red. This was going to be hilarious, Roy could feel it. He was already smiling and Jason hasn't even spoken yet.

"I uh..I may or may not have seen our neighbor naked. ...And he may or may not have caught me staring."

"Jason!"

"It was an accident!"

There was no way Roy could keep himself from laughing at his mortified friend. It was a loud, obnoxious laugh complete with pointing. He got a dangerous glare in response, though it wasn't as threatening when it looked like Jason wanted the floor to swallow him. It took a good few minutes for Roy to get himself back down to manageable levels of gasping laughter. His stomach was killing him but this was the funniest thing he's heard in a while. Finally, he took a few deep, calming breaths and shot Jason a sharkish grin.

"..Okay, but was he really ugly? Is that why we gotta leave?"

Jason shoved him and Roy couldn't help but start giggling all over again.

"No, he was hot. Like really, really hot. Holy shit, talk about a perfect ten."

A perfect ten? That was a rare sight indeed. Really, Roy knew of a few others he'd call 'Tens'. Donna, Kory, and Dick. A perfect ten for a guy was wild. The highest he met aside from Dick was probably that one exchange student back in his college days named Garth.

"No way. I need to see-'

When he tried to get around Jason, the man grabbed him in a firm grip and gave him a little shake to bring him back to reality.

"ROY! This is serious!"

That heated blue-green glare was rewarded with a shit-eating grin.

"Oh, it's serious alright. Seriously funny."

Jason gave an irritated sound and punched him in the arm none-too-lightly. Roy's yelp of pain could be heard three houses down.


The two neighbors did their best to avoid one another from that point on. It was easier than expected as Dick was almost never home. He was either at work, at the youth center, or with his brothers. The embarrassing moment faded into the backs of their minds and they lived in peace. That is, until Roy brought over an 'old friend'.

When he introduced the two, it was beyond clear that Roy knew exactly what he was doing. Jason was going to shove him down at least two flights of stairs for this betrayal. Before he could think of a way to weasel out of this awkward confrontation, Roy made up some bullshit excuse and left the two alone in the house, cackling as he left. They stared in silence again. Neither knew exactly what to say but it was obvious both were thinking about that one time. Finally, Jason broke the silence with a sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. Maintaining eye contact was difficult when the guy had the most ridiculously pretty eyes he's seen. (It didn't help that he kept picturing him naked and then admonishing himself for picturing that.)

"Hey, I'm really sorry about before. I didn't mean to look, I swear! I just...glanced up and you were there."

Dick gave a light sort of laugh and something in his expression shifted just a little.

"It's fine. I should apologize. I'm the one who forgot to close my curtains."

"Oh, I don't mind."

Jason immediately closed his eyes, let out a heavy sigh, and prayed for death once the words left his mouth. He really needed to learn how to filter his mouth. It only earned him another amused laugh, which was a positive sign. Jason wasn't sure how strong Dick was but he looked muscular and probably packed a hell of a punch. The thought of his muscles made him think of him naked again and Jason internally winced. 'Why does my brain hate me?'

"My name's Dick."

He held out a hand and Jason shook it politely. Though Jason couldn't help but glance down at his neighbor's crotch once he said 'dick'. The subconscious action made him want to fling himself out the nearest window. 'Jason, you are the literal worst. Why are you like this.' The mental beratement didn't help to wipe the images away.

"I’m Jason."

He tried to play it off like he didn't just very obviously picture this man's dick. The amusement playing on Dick's face let him know he wasn't the least bit successful. 'Double fuck.'

"I don't suppose you wanna help me fix my curtains since I broke the rod trying to close them?"

There was definitely a flirty undertone to his words. The very purposeful way he glanced at Jason's own crotch then back up was just the final very obvious hint that he didn't need help fixing it at all. Jason suddenly felt like he was in one of those cheesy pornos and he was way beyond excited. He flashed a wide grin as he threw the biggest mental celebration he could. So, maybe he wouldn't push Roy down two flights of stairs after all.

"I'd love to."

Notes:

Roy is simultaneously the best and worst friend and I love him.

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