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“But see? This is why I said that we should get the biiiiig tent. You know, from the circus.” Jester looked around at the others as they clustered around their bags. Her face was furrowed in concentration as, with the last of the three tents being set up by Fjord and Beauregard, the rest of the group was preparing to divvy up sleeping arrangements.
Caleb immediately stepped forward with a small cough. “Look it’s fine; Nott and I will share-”
“It’s not fine!” Nott cut in. She immediately pulled her hood down to hide her face as everyone turned to stare at the little goblin girl. There was a shocked silence, partially as she’d never before spoken a word one way or another at their nearly nightly discussions, but mostly as she’d rather frequently demonstrated that she’d rather cut of someone’s hand than potentially hurt Caleb.
“Nott?” Caleb’s looked over at his oldest friend, hurt evident in his voice, but he quickly railed and put on a brave face. “I mean- Of course. Of course, you can share with the others. What- what with the other the girls normally sharing the red tent; I should have realized that you’d want to- To bond with them as well.” He gestured awkwardly towards the small cluster of tents. “I’ll just- I’ll just go get my bedroll set up and… Take a walk while you all figure out the sleeping arrangements. Yes, that’s- That’s what I’ll do.” Caleb stepped back from the group and disappeared into the green tent, quickly passing by Fjord as the half-orc, having finished his task, walked towards the discussion.
“Is everything alright?” Fjord asked, as he ambled over to the group at a quick jog; obviously concerned by something he’d seen on the human’s face.
Mollymauk let out a low whistle, which seemed to shake the rest of the group from their shock. “No, no, I don’t think it is alright. You wanna explain what’s going on greenie?” He turned to glower at Nott.
“That’s a racist and derogatory term.” Nott said, a whine evident in her voice even with the muffling from her hood.
“Yeah, well, I’m not feeling very charitable or polite right now.” Molly said, the fingers on his right hand tapping a sharp staccato on his hip. “Caleb might not be my cup of tea, but he’s a great guy-”
“Yes! Yes, he is!” Nott nodded emphatically, even as she kept her hood pulled tightly down over her face. The others exchanged glances over her head and, at Jester’s nod, Fjord trotted back to grab Beau as Molly continued talking.
“So, care to elaborate on why you decided to backstab such a great guy-” Molly let out an oof as Jester elbowed him pointedly in the stomach as his words caused Nott to curl further into herself with a small whine.
“Ok, sooooo.” Jester said, moving to kneel in front of the girl. “Why do you not like Caleb anymore? Is it cause he smells? Since he’s smelled for a long time now.”
Nott let out a soft sound that could only have been a broken off sob.
“Jester!” Fjord admonished as he returned with a confused looking Beau trailing behind him.
“What?!” Jester said defensively, although she kept her eyes on Nott’s small form. “He does smell! I mean, he’s gotten better about it, but-”
“He’s trying!” Nott broke into the conversation again, her head snapping up so she could look at her friends with slightly wild eyes peeking out from her hood. “He even” she rubbed her hands along her arms in discomfort as she whispered, “took a bath.”
“Ok?” Jester’s confusion was evident in her voice. She cautiously reached out to push Nott’s hood back so she could see her friend’s face more clearly. “So it’s not that he smells?”
“We all smell!” Nott’s small hands were fisted at her at her sides as she glared at the teifling in front of her. “We’ve been on the road for days since the last village. EVERYONE. SMELLS.”
“I smell like fucking roses.” Beau said, before she sniffed her arm and made a face. “Ok, maybe the fucking part is a bit more pronounced.”
Molly immediately started choking on his own saliva, leaving Fjord to give him a few solid whacks on the back to help clear his lungs.
“Yes, that’s exactly it!” Nott pointed an accusing finger at Beau that also managed to encompass the assembled group as a whole.
“I was wondering.” Fjord said, evidently turning over her words as he spoke. “I mean no offence, you aren’t exactly my-”
“Everyone isn’t having sex ALL THE TIME!” Nott stamped her foot, frustration clear in every angry line of her small body.
Molly started coughing again as Beau gave him a pre-emptive elbow to the stomach to interrupt any commentary he was going to add.
“So is sex the problem now?” Jester asked, looking up at the assembled party for support. “I mean, we can have a ‘no-sex-in-the-blue-tent’ rule? And you can be in the blue tent tonight? Oh! We can choose teams!” The teifling clapped her hands in delight and smoothed out her skirts. “Ok, I get first pick and I’m picking… Beau!” She singsonged, ignoring Molly with an air of much practice as the other teifling jumped up and down with his hand raised in the air.
“And then if I picked someone else…” Nott said, clearly thinking her way through things. “The third captain, they would have to pick Caleb, right?” Nott asked, a thread of hope evident in her voice. “Caleb, Caleb wouldn’t just get left out, would he?”
Jester opened her mouth to respond, but instead turned to look questioningly at Fjord.
“Yeah… Yeah. I think I see where you’re going with this.” Fjord said, as he walked up and patted Nott gently on the head before trotting back to the tents to corral their wizard.
“Anyone help out a confused monk?” Beau asked as she traded glances with an equally confused looking Molly.
“Oh!” Jester exclaimed, immediately lunging forward to wrap her arms around a shocked Nott. “We’ve been such meannies! Such poop-brains we have been!”
Nott seized up briefly, before going limp and nodding into Jester’s neck as the teifling hugged her tight.
“Nott!” Caleb yelled, concern evident as he ran back at pace, Fjord trailing in his wake. “Fjord said-”
Jester, with lightning speed, let go of Nott and launched herself at the human, who, for his part, looked entirely startled find his arms full of enthusiastic shouting cleric. “I will sleep with you!”
Caleb’s mouth fell open and a fierce blush rushed across his face, evident even under the dirt. He looked around the group for an explanation and seeing none, awkwardly patted Jester’s back as he normally did for Nott. “Ummm, I mean. It is very nice of you to offer? But I’m… You’re not my…” He trailed off, waiting for Jester to lessen her hold and, as it got tighter, he tried again; sounding even more uncertain. “It’s not you, it’s me?”
“No! It’s not you!” Jester snapped, pulling back to glare at Caleb, although she maintained her hold on him. “We’re the poop-brains! You are part of the group! And it’s not fair that you and Nott aren’t part of the group.”
“Ohhh,” Beau said, nodding her understanding as Fjord whispered fiercely to her and Molly.
“I mean, I thought we were?” Caleb sounded more confused by the moment and he looked down at teifling who seemed to be trying to merge with his rib cage, an additional challenge due to the layer books he was currently reading. “Unless you are leaving us here? But with the hugging, I think you are sending mixed messages... I mean, I just need a few moments and I can set Frumpkin to watch and stay in the third tent myself...”
He cut off shocked as Nott started crying, a soft broken-off sound. Fjord sighed audibly as he moved to pick the small goblin up into a hug of her own, cradling her in his arms.
“Yeah, I think that’s the problem.” Fjord drawled. “Ok, if I’m the third ‘tent captain’, I’m calling Caleb for the night.”
“’Tent captain’?” Caleb asked, starting to strain obviously against Jester’s grip as he tried to move towards Nott.
“No!” Jester pouted, her strength evident with the wheeze Caleb gave as she hugged him tighter. “I get Caleb! You can have Beau!”
“Hey!” Beau chided, annoyed.
“At least you got picked,” Molly groused at her, even as he walked over to lift Nott out of Fjord’s arms and toss the goblin across his shoulder, startling a laugh out of the girl.
“Come on short-stuff,” Molly said moving out of the group. “This’ll probably go on for a bit so let’s set up your hoard in the blue tent, ok?” He gripped Caleb’s arm as he walked past. “Still not my type, but you’d better pick me first tomorrow, ok?”
Nott gave Caleb a wide wink and thumbs up from where she was slung across Molly’s back as the teifling sauntered back towards the tents.
“I’m still very confused.” Caleb said, wheezing a bit as Jester continued to forcibly snuggle him.
“Our little friend pointed out that we haven’t been very fair to you.” Fjord said walking over to tap Jester on the head.
“We’ve been poop-heads.” Jester agreed stepping back.
Caleb took a deep breath, only to promptly lose it as Fjord wrapped his arms around the human and lifted him off his feet in a tight bear hug. He set Caleb back down after a moment, but kept a supportive grip as the human’s knees threatened to buckle.
“Ok that’s all very nice, but I would rather like you all to stop suffocating me, if that’s alright?” Caleb panted a bit to get his breath back, holding onto Fjord’s arms for support.
“We’re sorry that we’ve been isolating you, man.” Beau said as she walked over, although she seemed content to keep her distance. “It’s not ‘cause we don’t like you.”
“Or because you smell funny.” Jester agreed, reaching up to pat Caleb on the head.
“Thank you Jester, that’s very… kind.” Caleb said, his eyes a going a bit shuttered.
“I mean it’s taken us all a bit to get used to each other and our… particularities-” Fjord rumbled, giving Jester a sharp glance as he absently straightened out Caleb’s road worn robes. “And you’re always running off to bunk with Nott as soon as we stop for the night...”
“Oh, well, it makes it easier? I mean, Nott and I are perfectly comfortable sharing a tent, or at least I thought we were. And...” Caleb trailed off, uncertainty clear in his voice.
“And you’d bet we’d have said ‘no’ if you’d suggested changing things up.” Beau finished for him.
“’Cause you smell.” Jester said, as she leaned against Fjord’s side.
“Seriously, Jester,” Fjord rolled his eyes and held on a bit tighter to the suddenly tense human. “You ain’t helping here.”
“But that’s the point!” Jester said, stepping forward to poke Caleb in the chest. “You smell, but you are still our Caleb! Our Caleb smells and that is one of the things that makes him our Caleb. So. It. Is. Ok!”
“Yeah. Caleb smells, Nott pockets anything that isn’t nailed down, Molly doesn’t shut or sober up, Fjord keeps springing leaks,” Beau began listing off the party members on her fingers.
“Hey now…” Fjord said, affronted, before he focused back on Caleb, who looked, still shell-shocked, but slightly less likely to run into the hills. “So see – if you’d just asked.”
“Asked to…” Caleb trailed off considering. “Share in your nightly discussions about sleeping arrangements?”
“Nah, no more discussion tonight.” Fjord shook his head, and gave Jester a slight push so he could step forward without her losing her balance. “We’re trying something new and you were my first pick.”
“Oh… Oh, that’s, very nice of you.” Caleb said a bit wonderingly as he followed Fjord back towards the tents.
“Just promise me you’ll actually sleep tonight?” Fjord asked as he picked up his bags and started moving purposefully to the green tent. “I’d rather not spend all night listening to you count coins.”
“So long as you promise I’ll not need to perform CPR at some point.” Caleb muttered as he followed the half-orc into the tent and let the flap close behind him.
“Oh good!” Jester clapped her hands together and turned to Beau. “Come on, I’m going to braid your hair sooo cute! And then we can paint runes onto each other’s nails!”
Beau sighed as the teifling excitedly dragged her back towards their tent. “You are totally going to wait until Fjord’s asleep and then kidnap Caleb, aren’t you?”
Jester giggled, “Why wait until they are asleep?”