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Chapter Text

Turning off the TV, I stormed over to my bag of provisions and jumped out of the third story window. Small bursts of lightning like lines imprinted themselves on the pavement of the alley. I began to walk to the center of the small town when my shoulder began to be electrocuted. I leaned on the closest wall and willed the pain to go away.

“Hey, kid? You all right?” someone asked. I looked over to see a blonde guy with purple devices on his ears. He put his hand on my shoulder and watched me, concerned.

“Leave,” I growled in Russian, hoping that it would scare the guy away. He removed his hand and turned when the next wave of pain hit both the shoulder and my right thigh. I fell to the ground, biting my lip to hide the pained cries. The guy that was on TV was right next to me, grabbing onto my face gently.

“What happened?” he asked, calmly. I tried to shrug off my jacket but couldn’t due to my shoulder being in too much pain. Both of the men helped me before I looked back at them. I set my jacket on the blonde’s leg.

“The tattoos are electrical wires. My experimenters use them for entertainment,” I said through clenched teeth. The blonde guy looked confused but the dude with the metal arm looked at me calmly.

“Who? And how do you stop it?” he asked quickly. I groaned in pain.

“Do you trust Blondie if I speak English?” I asked. He nodded quickly.

“English is my first language,” he said reassuringly.

“It interacts with what types of brainwaves I am emitting. Knock me out and they stop and HYDRA can't electrocute me like this,” I pleaded in English.

“Whoa! We won’t hurt you!” Blondie promised. The other dude grabbed my hands gently.

“You will be safe with us, sweetheart,” he promised, smiling slightly. I nodded and squeezed his hand as the pain began in my chest. Blondie looked horrified as the dude with the metal arm used his flesh hand to press against a pressure point.

“Thanks,” I mumbled before blacking out.

Chapter Text

I shifted in bed and rubbed my feet against each other, surprised by the lack of shoes.   I was also surprised at how comfy my bed was. I shot up, realizing something was wrong and opened my eyes. My eyes followed a pair of boots on the bed to the metal-armed dude sitting on a chair, reading a book. He set the book down and moved to sit on the bed. I curled into myself, scared at whom he could be.

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly.

“I am a weapon. Weapons don’t have feelings, sir,” I recited, still unsure if I could trust him. I pulled my jacket closed, zipping it up quickly.

“I am not HYDRA. You are safe with me,” he answered. I nodded but made no move to unfold myself.

“Who?” I asked, timidly. I could feel electricity spark in between my fingers.

“Bucky. I was the Winter Soldier, but now I just go by Bucky,” he said softly. I stuck out my hand.

“Dima.” He nodded and shook my hand.

“I brought- Oh, she is awake!” Blondie commented, holding a tray of food. Bucky nodded, smiling.

“Clint, this is Dima. Dima, this is Clint. He is a friend. He is not HYDRA either,” Bucky introduced softly. Clint set down the tray and waved.

“Sorry about earlier. They do that to see if I can withstand the torture,” I said, resting my head on my knee.

“It is totally fine, Dima,” Clint said softly. “Would you like some food?” I nodded and sat up more.

“When was the last time that you ate?” Bucky asked.

“Three days ago I had an apple,” I said.

“And before that?” he demanded.

“Maybe a week or two ago. It is hard to eat on the run.” Bucky nodded and took a protein bar, and handed it to me.

“Eat slowly. You probably won't react well to being able to eat a lot,” Bucky explained. I nodded and began chewing at the bar slowly.

“What is your connection to HYDRA?” Clint asked, sitting down on the chair that Bucky was in previously. Bucky glared but made no comment.

“Zola’s kid. I was eight when he decided to test another serum like the Winter Soldier’s. I have the slowed aging, fast healing, strength, speed, ya know, the normal upgrades. But my father wanted to add weaponry,” I began. Clint’s face when I said that I was Zola’s kid will be framed in the best moments of my mind.

“Did you know me?” Bucky asked. I nodded.

“You trained me for a bit. Once they decided that I was good enough, they put me in the cryo, except if you were injured or healing.” Bucky grabbed my free hand and closed his eyes.

“Sorry,” he muttered softly. I squeezed his hands tightly.

“Nothing to be sorry for. I got to experience the world,” I said, smiling.

“I speak English, ASL, and cow. Could you at least stick to these?” Clint requested glaring at Bucky. Bucky began to flip Clint off when another blonde walked in.

“Play nice,” he ordered. I instantly curled back into a ball and looked at Bucky.

“Can I come closer?” Bucky asked. I nodded and leaned into his touch as much as I could.

“This is Steve. Remember Captain America?”

“Dad said fear Captain America for he is the end of all things. Is he here to kill me?” I asked, fearful. Bucky placed his metal hand on my face and wiped away tears that I didn’t realize had fallen.

“No, Sweetheart. He isn’t here to hurt you,” Bucky assured. “Hey, Clint? Can you explain to Stevie outside?” Clint nodded and led Steve out.

“You did a great thing by telling me that you didn’t feel comfortable with Steve. Now we can work together instead of you trying to do it alone,” Bucky encouraged. I nodded and looked away from him.

“Do you want to cuddle?” he asked, hopeful.

“Cuddle?” I asked. The mechanics in his metal arm tensed before relaxing.

“It is like a long hug. I can show you,” he explained. I nodded and watched him move so his back was against the wall. He pulled me so I was leaning into him.

“Why would a weapon need to cuddle?” I asked, shifting so I was able to grab the knife that was in my waistband, easily.

“You aren’t a weapon anymore,” Bucky reminded. I closed my eyes and ignored his response.

“Hey, Buck? Can I talk to you?” Steve asked, walking into the room. Bucky instantly began rubbing my back and held me tighter.

“Only if I could still be used as a pillow while we talk,” Bucky bargained. Bucky’s warmth made me feel safer and I understood why people enjoyed cuddling. I shifted so I was practically on top of Bucky, trying to take in all of the warmth that I could.

“Sleep. You are safe,” Bucky promised. I nodded and began to doze off.

“Why do you have Zola’s daughter cur-“

Chapter Text

Coming to, I noticed that I was against a smaller body than Bucky’s. I became ridged and slowed my breathing. Maybe if they check on me, I have a clear shot at their face.

“I would advise against that. Natasha and I are friends of Bucky,” A woman promised. I nodded and opened my eyes. Tow beautiful women were sitting next to me in bed. The closer one was sharpening a knife while the one further away was playing with a red mist.

“I am Natasha. She is Wanda. Both of us are like you; tortured by Russians,” the one with the knife said.

“лима,” I responded, softly.

“Bucky went to get a guy that might be able to see if there is a way to break the electrical wires, in your tattoos, safely,” Wanda said, leaning over to see me.

“Why are you trying to get rid of the electricity?” I asked.

“Too much pain,” Natasha responded. I shook my head in protest.

“It keeps me-“

“Nat! Put the knife away before she wakes up!” Steve scolded from the doorway.

“Please keep it,” I muttered, leaning into Natasha more. He stepped closer, holding out his hand.

“Now,” he demanded. I looked up and grabbed Natasha’s hand to prevent her from moving it.

“No,” I protested. “The sound is calming.” Steve sighed, frustrated but backed off.

“At least not on the bed,” He complained. Bucky pushed past him and sat down next to me. He pushed my hair out of my face and smiled.

“Sorry I left,” he muttered.

“It’s fine. Was HYDRA lying about him?” I asked, glancing at Steve. He nodded.

“He isn’t going to hurt you. HYDRA is a bunch of sick bastards that didn’t want you to be taken away from them,” he said. “He is going to help protect you.” I nodded and relaxed slightly. Several more people come into the room and lined the walls, casually. I looked over at Natasha.

“What is the common language?”

“English,” she responded. I nodded.

“Hello. I am Dima,” I said with a small wave to everyone.

“Hello, Dima. I am Scott. I know a lot about mechanics and I have been elected to look at your tattoos if that is alright with you?” A guy with several tools introduced. I nodded.

“Where do you need me?” I asked.

“Maybe in the middle of the bed. But I do need to know where the tattoos are,” he said gently.

“They cover practically every inch of me,” I stated, taking off my jacket before shuffling to the center of the bed. My arms were bare with the tank top that I was wearing.

“Hey, Nat? Or Wanda? Do you have something that she can wear that covers-“ he coughed. “Ya know?”

“Absolutely. Come back in five minutes,” Wanda ordered, standing up to push all of the guys out of the room.

“What is wrong with my clothes?” I asked, frowning. Nat moved to a dresser and pulled out a sports bra and some boy short underwear.

“You need to be able to show Scott as much of the tattoos as possible but not be completely naked. It is more of them not wanting you to expose yourself more than you would be comfortable with,” Wanda explained. I nodded and stripped completely, but left the bandages covering my chest on. I put the bra and shorts on before sitting back on the bed, not looking at either of the girls. I faced the door and waited until I heard a soft knock.

Chapter Text

“Can we come in?” Scott asked. I nodded.

“Sure,” Natasha said hesitantly. I could tell that she wanted to ask questions but saved them for later. The door opened and all of the men filed in. They lined the walls while Scott kneeled on the bed. He held my hands and helped me into a kneeling position.

“Can you turn for me?” he asked, eyeing the continuous lines that stretched everywhere on my body. I began to move in a circle slowly, staring at all of the men’s faces. They became more and more horrified to see how covered I was. Bucky had his jaw clenched and his metal arm was tense.

“How old?” he demanded.

“They finished by my ninth birthday. I passed out several times, but I was awake for most of the second half. That pain was a lot easier to deal with. Dad was really proud when he was done,” I said as Scott reached out to touch some of the lines. Bucky looked like he was about to punch a wall.

“How young were you when you started? Sam, by the way,” an African American guy asked.

“Seven or eight. My father wanted to start earlier but my mother wouldn’t let him,” I said, hissing as the electric shocks began again.

“Scott?” Steve asked, concerned. He began to stammer and poked my side with a screwdriver. The electricity in my body used the contact to shoot sparks. I sighed in relief as the pain stopped.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened,” Scott apologized.

“Don’t worry about it. It was Dave this time,” I said smiling. “Dave is really repetitive with how he shocks me.”

“Who is Dave?” Clint asked.

“Because I am away from the HYDRA base with no supervision, they take turns trying to get me to pass out in pain in a place that could be filmed so they could find me. Dave does the same pattern every time. A warning shock on my foot and ten seconds later, one on my stomach that moves to my arms and then stops,” I explained.

“Is everyone like that?” Steve asked. I shook my head.

“I don’t understand how they did any of this!” Scott complained. I sighed softly.

“They melted several conductive metals and tattooed them into me. Then they went over them again with black ink so the metallic lines looked less out of place,” I explained. Scott sighed and sat down again.

“Buck, No,” Steve ordered, pushing Bucky against the wall. His eyes became dark with rage and he was glaring at the other wall.

“I am ok, Bucky. It is all over,” I promised. He softened against the wall but did not move from his position.

“How are you so calm about this? They messed up your life!” he growled. I stood up and walked towards him, slowly. Nudging Steve out of the way, I hugged Bucky tightly. His arms moved around me protectively.

“Steve, she beat you in calming him down,” Sam declared, smirking.

“I have accepted it. And I remember every moment,” I muttered. “there are no gaps for me to fill and it is all I have ever known.” Bucky pulled away from me and crouched to my height.

“Explain,” he ordered.

“They tried-“

“English doll, they should know too,” Bucky corrected, glancing behind me.

“They tried to wipe my memories, but they wiped everything including language and basic skills and had to wait until I got the memories back before the could start the tattooing again. They wasted too much time waiting and decided to never do it again,” I explained. Bucky leaned his head against mine and closed his eyes.

“I am going to kill them,” he muttered.

“No, killing them is too kind,” Natasha corrected.

“For those of us who don’t speak Russian, what are they bickering about?” Sam asked.

“Bucky wants them to be dead and Nat thinks that it would be too kind to murder them,” Wanda Interpreted.

“Brother, sister, later,” I mumbled. The two of them nodded and stopped talking.

“Where is the power?” Scott asked. I turned to see him following the continuous line along my body. I pushed my hair up and walked back over to the bed. I turned away from him and showed him my neck.

“They wired it so it interacts with the brain. The goal was to send me out with the Winter Soldier and flirt with those who would threaten his missions. They wanted to place the circuit board in other places but realized the targets would be less likely to be distracted with my body if they realized I was being controlled,” I explained, digging my nails into my palm.

“You were supposed to be helping him?” Steve asked. I nodded. Wanda moved and picked up another piece of food and handed it to me.

“Eat,” she ordered, gently. I took the box of cereal and began to eat it slowly. I curled up on the bed and watched everyone for a second.

“I was mainly going to be a distraction and who would expect a sixteen-year-old to be a Russian spy?” I asked, hoping no one would give a legitimate answer.

“What would happen if we separated the wires from your brain?” Scott asked.

“See these bunches of designs?” I asked, pointing towards the clusters of flowers and swirls. “If I get a cut anywhere, the nearest failsafe is activated and I have to go back to the base to reset the currents. If I were to separate it from the source, it would be a continuous shock from all of the fail-safes,” I explained. Sam shook his head and sighed.

“Damn, these Nazi bastards thought of everything!”

“Language,” Steve scolded before hanging his head.

“And you didn’t even last two hours,” Clint mocked.

“You know who would have the tools to help her?” Scott mentioned, looking at Steve. Steve glared at him in response.

“If you say his name, you are out,” Steve threatened. “He is not having her.” Natasha stood up silently and walked closer to Clint. They began signing back and forth quickly, while Steve protested me meeting someone to Scott.

“Can you explain?” I asked Bucky softly. He moved to sit down on the bed next to me.

“Stevie has a problem with authority and that has led to issues with some friends,” Bucky muttered. Natasha stepped away from Clint.

“First of all,” Natasha started. “It is her choice. Second, if she wants to do it, we can use it to our advantage.”

“She is not going to be a spy for us,” Bucky protested. “If we make her do that, we are no better than HYDRA.” I squeezed his hand in reassurance.

“She has her own mind, first off,” I corrected, cringing at saying she. “And second, she prefers they or their.” All of their eyes looked at me intensely.

Chapter Text

“Dima, can you take off the bra?” Wanda requested. I nodded and began to peel it off, careful to not undo the bandages. Steve gave me a disapproving look as he saw the bandages.

“That is unsafe,” he scolded. “Chances are that would create more-“

“Shut it, Steve,” Sam ordered. “Would you like to go out with one of us and buy a binder?” I nodded quickly and smiled at Sam. I leaned over to the edge of the bed and grabbed my normal clothes. I put them on before moving to curl into Bucky. He had crossed his legs and I sat in the hole that his legs created.  

“Thank you. Zola, my father, was trying to fix this part of me when he went through with the experiment,” I said softly. Bucky hugged me from and I held onto his arms.

“The plan for mine wasn’t to rid of my bisexuality, but once I knew that I was still bi after, I knew that it wasn’t a sickness,” Steve said, putting his hand on my shoulder. Scott shifted on the bed, turning to face me.

“What would you consider yourself as?” he asked.

“Nonbinary. I am neither male nor female, I stated, playing with Bucky’s metal fingers.

“Thank you for clarifying,” He said, smiling. I nodded in acknowledgment. My thigh began to sting and I swore under my breath. I detangled myself from Bucky enough to grab a screwdriver from the bed. I jabbed my leg and watched as the sparks flew.

“Ah, yes. Back to the question at hand,” Sam reminded. “It would work. Peaceful discussion. Common goal. It-“

“Sam,” Steve growled. I looked at Sam.

“What are the chances that he could at least decrease the intensity of the shocks?” I asked.

“Dima, no,” Steve ordered. I glared at him and stood up on the bed to look taller.

“HYDRA has controlled me for all of my life. I don’t need another ass hat to do the same. Got it?” I asked, feeling someone pull me back down. I landed in Bucky’s lap and tried to get back up again. His arms locked around my body so I couldn’t move.

“Dima, Dima, Dima, relax. He won’t make any decisions for you,” Bucky promised.

“Damn straight!” I responded, finally relaxing into him.

“There you go, just relax,” Bucky muttered in my ear.

“Sam?” I prompted, looking back at him.

“If any non-HYDRA member could figure it out, it would be him,” Sam said, not looking at Steve. I nodded and chewed my lip.

“Would he be ok with me being nonbinary?” I asked, weighing my risks.

“Yes,” Natasha responded. “He dated a few when I was working undercover in his office.” I nodded in response.

“I’ll do it,” I confirmed. “How long until I can meet him?” Steve sighed.

“I don’t think you should,” he argued.

“Stevie, no one cares. They said that they would do it and by doing it, they will be in less pain. I told you to not do anything stupid and what did you do? You let scientist experiment on you willingly. Someone told you that there was a miracle cure for your punk ass and you decided to try it. Why can't they?” Bucky responded.

Chapter Text

“Dima, it should take about a week to travel to New York and to get him to see you,” Clint responded, sitting at a desk with a laptop on it. He was typing quickly and paused, looking up.

“How many people want to go with Dima?” he asked.

“I betrayed him in battle so I am going to guess that he won't like me too much,” Natasha said.

“I’ll go,” Sam volunteered.

“Me too,” Wanda and Bucky said at the same time. No one else said anything.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, surprised that any of them said yes.

“Five plane tickets to New York that leave tomorrow,” Clint muttered. Each of us nodded.

“Dima, want us to go back to your place and help you pack?” Sam asked, turning towards me. I shook my head.

“The backpack I had when Clint and Bucky found me is all that I have,” I said softly. Bucky nudged me softly to get up.

“Come on, kiddo, let’s get you some clothes. I saw what was in your backpack,” Bucky encouraged. Natasha followed us through the door and paused. She turned back to Sam.

“Sam, text me what you plan to do in New York. I need to know what type of clothes to get,” Natasha ordered. She turned and left the room, linking her arm with mine.

Chapter Text

“Dima, we are going to make you look stunning,” Natasha declared, leading us out of the house. We began walking into town when another surge of electricity began to run through my hip. I grabbed Bucky’s metal hand and placed it under the hem of my shirt to stop the shock.
“Why does this keep happening?” Bucky growled, frustrated.
“They must need me for another mission,” I responded. Natasha smiled, proudly.
“You are never going back ever again,” she promised.
“Who am I meeting with, anyway?” I asked as Bucky pushed the door to a store open. The three of us walked in and followed Natasha to the bra section.
“Do you know of Tony Stark?” Bucky asked, changing to English. I nodded. “Steve used to be good friends with him but drama happened and they aren’t on good terms.” I nodded and watched as Natasha picked out a few binders. She handed hem to Bucky and walked out of the section and into the main aisle.
“What type of clothing do you prefer to wear?” Natasha asked.
“This is the only outfit that I have ever chosen while not pretending to be cis,” I confessed, holding on to Bucky’s hand.
“If you could wear anything in the whole world, what would it be?” Bucky asked, rubbing his thumb on my hand.
“Jeans, t-shirt, and a blazer,” I stated. Bucky led us to the jeans and stopped in front of a wall with a lot of different types of jeans.
“Can I help you and your daughter find anything today?” A woman asked.
“Dima is not our daughter,” Natasha corrected. “But they are our child.” I smiled and watched the woman become confused for a second.
“Well, can I help Y'all find something today?” She asked, not hiding any bitterness in her voice. I looked at the wall and reached to finger some of the fabric to distract me.
“We are fine, thank you,” Bucky responded flatly. She nodded and left quickly.
“You called my your child,” I muttered in disbelief. They both nodded.
“Zola did a shit job of raising you, so we are going to do it properly,” Bucky stated. Natasha nodded and hugged me tightly. I hugged back and breathed in the feeling of having someone safe like her.
“If you want, we can find a way to make it legal,” Bucky offered. Natasha pulled away and took out her phone. I sighed in disappointment at the lack of her warmth.
“Mostly casual, but we should get something for a Stark Party just in case,” Natasha stated, looking up from her phone.
“On that note, what type of pants do you want to try?” Bucky asked softly.
“Whatever I can hide weapons with. I don’t like being unarmed,” I stated.
“Me neither,” Bucky responded, smirking. Natasha reached up to smack his head, but he ducked out of the way.
“You idiot,” she chastised. He laughed and moved me so I was in between them.
“Don’t bring me into this! I’m just looking for clothes. Y’all can squabble outside,” I said, noticing a few people watching us.
“Just you wait, Barnes,” Natasha threatened. Bucky shook his head and relaxed.
“How about skinny jeans?” He asked, hugging me from behind.
“Sounds good. What size do I do?” I asked.
“How tall are you?” Natasha asked.
“About five feet,” I responded.
“You are probably on the really small side.” I nodded and watched as Bucky pulled off several pairs of jeans off of the walls. He held onto them and led us to the graphic t-shirts. We began looking for shirts that I would like, talking a bit more about Tony Stark.
“What are we doing when we get home?” I asked. Home. I looked down and shifted uncomfortably once I realized my slip up.

Chapter Text

“Nothing in particular,” Natasha responded, holding up a shirt that said, ‘NOPE’ I nodded and half-heartedly smiled, still freaking out.

“Why do you asked?” Bucky questioned, pausing to look at me.

“No reason. I just wanted to see what the plans were,” I said softly. Both of them stopped moving completely.

“Can you think of anything that you would like to do when we get home?” Natasha asked. There it was again. Home.

“I thought the cuddling thing was interesting,” I responded. “I don’t think that I had ever done that before.” Both Natasha and Bucky held me tightly.

“We will have a cuddle party and watch movies before you leave tomorrow,” Natasha promised. I nodded and closed my eyes.

“Why did dad never show me this?” I asked, trying to pull away. They both held me tighter.

“Because your father was a dick,” Bucky responded.

“I think people are staring,” I whispered. They let go, but Natasha still held onto my hand as she moved to pick up another shirt.

“Tony would like this,” She said, holding up a shirt that says ‘Science is Like Magic, But Real’. I nodded and held onto it.

“Sweetie, I think we should look for some blazers soon so we can go home and pack,” Bucky suggested.

“Lead the way,” I encouraged. He led us to where the store kept the blazers.

Chapter Text

“Go on,” Bucky muttered, nudging me towards the racks. “I want to talk with Nat about something really quickly.” I nodded and began to walk the racks. I picked out two maroon jackets; one with full-length sleeves and one with three quarter length sleeves. I found black jackets in the same lengths and picked them up as well. I wandered back into the eyesight of Bucky and Natasha but stayed far enough away that I wasn’t interrupting the conversation that they were hissing at each other.

“Dima?” Bucky called out, unaware that I was less than ten feet away. I waved and the both of them walked over.

“Do you want to go try on the clothes?” Natasha asked. I nodded and resisted the urge to hold on to them. Natasha led us towards the changing rooms.

“Do you want us to stay here or go inside with you?” Bucky asked, putting the clothes that he was holding in the dressing room.

“Stay. I think I will need help with the bandages,” I said, ushering them both inside. Natasha locked the door and stood guard. I unzipped my jacket and took it off, dropping it to the floor. I took off my shirt and began to unravel the bandages. Bucky held out his hands and I placed the wad of bandages in his hand. He circled around me, peeling off the sweaty bandages.

“Sorry. I don’t think I have unbound for a few days,” I apologized, looking down. He set the bandages down and held my arm.

“Cough,” he commanded. I forced myself to cough twice before I hutched over in a coughing fit. “Let it out, Dima. Just let it out.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled as the coughing fit softened. I groaned softly and tried to stand back up. Bucky pushed me back into a hunched over position.

“Relax and give your body a break,” he suggested. I nodded and winced as I took a deep breath.

“When you try on a binder, put it on for like two minutes. Then you can rest your chest for the day,” Nat stated. As I moved, I groaned again.

“Sorry. I never learned binding edict,” I mumbled, trying to keep as still as possible. Bucky helped me stand straight and stepped back.

“I wanted to know, do you bind every day or only some days?” Natasha asked.

“Some days. There are times I am ok with being a 32C and there are days I hate them with a burning passion,” I explained, reaching for one of the binders. Natasha grabbed my hand to stop me.

“Try the clothes without the binder. You will probably end up wearing it both ways,” she suggested. I nodded and moved to pick up one of the shirts instead. Both of them settled back into the wall. I put on the shirt and smiled as it fit perfectly. Both of them nodded in approval and I took it off, hissing as I accidentally twisted my chest too much. Bucky chewed his lip, knowing that he couldn’t do anything to help at the moment.

“Dima, try on the pants. We only need to know which size fits and then we can pick the designs and colors,” Bucky explained, handing me a pair of skinny jeans. I put them on and buttoned them up. They fit tightly but I could still move around and run away if needed. Natasha handed me the maroon three quarter sleeve jacket and it paired nicely with the black jeans.

“They feel like I am actually wearing something!” I cheered. “I can legitimately feel the clothes that I am wearing.” Natasha laughed at my reaction.

“Feel good, Doll?” Bucky asked. I nodded.

“Feels fantastic!” I responded. Bucky nodded and helped me take off the jacket. He held onto it as I took off the pants.

“Here. Try this one on,” Natasha offered, handing me a binder. I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror. I took a breath and let it out with ease.

“How is it that something so small can make such a difference?” I asked, staring at the image of me being flat chested.

“The small things are what makes everything real,” Bucky responded, hugging me from behind gently. Natasha nodded and smiled at me.

Chapter Text

“You look great, love, but I think you should give your chest a break,” Natasha reminded. I took the binder off and with help from Bucky, I put my normal clothes back on. I zipped up my jacket to hide my tattoos and took a deep breath, preparing myself to back out.

“You alright there, little one?” Bucky asked. I let out a shaky breath before shaking my head.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha asked, walking towards me. I stepped back into the corner and slid down the wall.

“I’m scared,” I whispered. “What if Tony turns me into my dad? What if he can't fix me? What if they decide to send continuous shocks to my body while I am on the plane?” I began rambling. Bucky had crouched down and put his hand on my arm.

“They won’t come near you. There are going to be people that you trust where ever you go,” he promised. “Your father is dead. He won’t be able to hurt you. And we are going to make sure that the guys that are doing this to you will pay.” I nodded and grabbed his arm to help me up.

“And if Tony tries anything. I am very good friends with his girlfriend and she will let me know if I need to give him a gentle reminder on manners,” Natasha said, holding out her handed. I grasped it tightly and avoided eye contact.

“I am safe and I have free will,” I stated firmly to myself.

“You sure do, kiddo,” Bucky responded, ruffling my choppy hair. He led us outside of the room and back to the bras.

“Sports bra. For when you can't bind,” He explained softly. Natasha nodded and grabbed two. She disappeared in the aisle and came back out, holding several pairs of boy short female boxers. I smiled and followed her as she sped towards the checkout.

“Nat! There is no reason to rush,” Bucky reminded. Natasha shook her head and stopped in the line with a group ahead of her.

“We have to pack and get a movie in and do you have a passport?” Natasha asked, suddenly looking down at me.

“A fake saying my name is Rachel Anderson and I am from Oklahoma,” I responded. She nodded and turned back to Bucky.

“What movie should we introduce them to?” Bucky asked, putting his metal hand on my shoulder. I stepped forward to hit that the line had shifted.

“Star Wars? Harry Potter? How to Train Your Dragon? James Bond? Kingsmen?” Natasha began listing. Bucky handed me the clothes he was holding before he put both of his hands on her shoulders.

“Nat. Listen. One step at a time. Let’s get home and then we can decide the move as a group,” Bucky narrated. She took a deep breath and sighed.

“Sorry. I have never had to-“

“NEXT!” a woman called out. The three of us walked up to the counter. I placed all of the items down and stepped back. I tapped Natasha’s hand to get her to look at me.

Chapter Text

“WHY WERE YOU SIGNING WITH CLINT?” I signed with her. She looked at me confused.

“YOU KNOW A-S-L?” she responded.

“YES. RUSSIAN, AMERICAN, SPANISH, AND GERMAN SIGN LANGUAGE. I WAS FORCED BY KNIFE POINT FOR TWO.”

“Z-O-L-A?” she signed. I nodded.

“HE [CLINT] IS HARD OF HEARING,” Natasha explained.

“Come on,” Bucky encouraged, nudging the both of us with his foot. “Can you take a bag? Steve keeps calling me.” I grabbed two of the bags while Natasha grabbed the other three. As we exited the building, Bucky dug his phone out of his pocket and answered it.

“Stevie. No need to yell,” Bucky said. Natasha and I glanced at each other, nervous. We walked home quickly, listening as Bucky was trying to calm Steve down.

“We lost track of time and we are almost home. I will talk to you then.” Bucky ended the call and groaned.

“Drama with Steve?” Natasha questioned. He nodded.

“He thought that Dima had killed us,” Bucky summarized.

“Wow,” I said bitterly. “I know that you said that I could trust him and that he will help protect me but I am beginning to doubt that he would protect me from an ant. Much less a HYDRA agent trying to get me back.” Bucky nodded in a disappointed agreement.

“Normally he is ‘Mr. I-Have-A-Sixth-Sense-Called-I-Know-When-People-Need-Protection,’ but something has been up with him.”

“I have fallen victim to that sense a few too many times,” Natasha scoffed. “I’m gonna keep an eye on him.” As the house grew nearer, I slowed down.

“Why would he think that I would try to kill you?” I asked, looking up at Bucky.

“You were trained by me. He is thinking that HYDRA is still controlling you. HYDRA is known for hurting their weapons even if the weapons are doing what they should be,” Bucky explained, nudging me so I would move to the front door of the house. “Don’t worry too much. I will talk to him about it.” I took a deep breath and walked into the house.

“Hey, hey! How is our Sunshine doing?” Sam greeted at the door.

“Good. Tired,” I responded. Bucky squeezed my hand before storming off.

“Don’t ask. All we know is that Steve and Buck need to hash a few things out,” Natasha explained, closing the door. Sam nodded, unphased by the unsaid threat of a fight. He helped us carry the bags into the room that I was in when I woke up.

“Dima, how about you go shower so you can put on some new clothes? Then we can settle in for the night before you have to go tomorrow,” Natasha offered. I nodded and waited for her to tell me where the shower was.

“It’s the door that is at the very end of the hall,” Sam prompted. I thanked him before exiting the room. I turned down the hall and walked into the bathroom. I stepped in and messed around with the knob before I could get the shower to turn on. I stripped as the water heated up and stepped inside once I was done.

“How did I get myself into this mess?” I mumbled, lathering my hair with shampoo. The repetitive sounds of the water hitting the walls were relaxing and caused me to be completely lost in thought. Once I had finished, I stepped out and found a folded towel on the toilet seat. I put it on and walked out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. Sam and Natasha were curled up on the bed and chatting. Sam detangled himself from Natasha and stood up.

“I’ll be on the couch when you are ready,” Sam stated before leaving and closing the door. As soon as the door closed, Nat let out a long groan.

Chapter Text

“As much as I hated the Red Room, things were so much simpler,” she complained, grabbing a pillow and hugging it tightly. I moved over to the bags that we had brought home and dug through it to find the ‘NOPE’ shirt, a pair of black skinny jeans, and underwear.

“How so?” I asked, setting the clothes down on the bed. I dropped the towel, numb to others seeing me naked.

“The Red Room was trying to live to the next day,” she began. I put my clothes on slowly, as to not distract her. “Being free from them requires an attempt at being in relationships and taking care of my self. Simply put, I don’t know how to be a functioning human,” I nodded and crawled on the bed next to her. She traded my body for the pillow and fell back so we were both lying down.

“Don’t worry about me. I know a thing or two about caring for myself. And for Sam, he seems like the kind of guy that would help you be more human and would be patient with your learning. Think of being human as a mission,” I offered.

“Sam is just- he is too kind and I can't do long missions. They never go as planned,” she protested. I shifted to fit in her small frame better.

“We can start with small things like you will be with him for the movie and if we pick something on the scary side, curl into him a bit more. Learn how to do the routine dance. Like you know how two people can be doing two different tasks in the same place and still not crash into each other?” I offered. She was silent for a few minutes.

“Can you do the dance with anyone?” she asked softly. I nodded.

“I used to have one with Bucky for setting up training and for gearing up,” I responded. “He didn’t know why he knew what to do. He only knew that he could.” She nodded and moved to sit up. I followed her and looked at her face.

“Does being a spy make my whole life fake?” I shook my head.

“In a way, being a spy allows you to have the most real life because everyone thinks what you are doing is an act and not your true self.” She sighed and stood up.

“There is a cute guy waiting outside that is in need of showering me in cuddles,” Natasha stated. I smiled in agreement. We walked outside of the room and into the family room.

Chapter Text

The rest of the crew was splayed around the room on various objects. Bucky was sitting in an armchair with his back against one armrest and his legs propped up on the other. He beckoned me over and pulled me into his lap as soon as I was in his arm rang. He kissed the top of my head as I shifted into a more comfortable position.

“We were thinking of doing two movies tonight if that is cool with you?” Clint offered from above me. I looked up to see him relaxing on a ledge that dropped down from the ceiling. I nodded.

“WHICH MOVIE?” I signed, watching Clint closely.

“K-I-N-G-S-M-E-N AND SECOND ONE,” he responded.

“FUN! LONG?” I asked. He shrugged.

“FIRST FOR ALL.” The doorbell rang and I flinched.

“You are alright, Dima. It is just the pizza,” Bucky muttered, watching Scott run out of the room towards the front entrance. I nodded and tried to relax back into Bucky. Scott came in and placed eight boxed of pizza on the table.

“Any chance you are willing to throw a box up here?” Clint called out. Sam detangled himself from Natasha and stood on the table, handing a box to Clint.

“What kind of pizza would you like?” Sam asked, turning towards me.

“I have never had pizza,” I confessed. “What kind of pizza is good?” Sam smirked at me.

“I personally like ham and pineapple on my pizza but there is a huge political debate about pineapple on a pizza. If you want, you can try it,” Sam offered.

“Sure,” I responded, shrugging.

“No! He is bringing you to the dark side!” Wanda complained.

“I have been to the dark side and pizza is not involved,” I corrected as Sam handed me a plate with a slice of pizza. He handed Bucky one as well.

“Here you go, your majesty. And a cheese pizza for gramps,” Sam said, chuckling.

“Gramps?” I repeated, post taking a bite of the pizza.

“Technically I turn 103 next month,” Bucky responded, glaring at Sam. I looked at him surprised. “I know. I look good for my age.”

“Stop gloating,” Scott complained. “Not everyone is capable of looking younger than they actually are.” Bucky laughed.

“Don’t worry, Scott. We both know that having kids ages you a lot faster than not having kids,” Clint reminded as he cued up the movie. “Bucky will know all about that soon.”

“Let’s get the movie started because some of you have a long day tomorrow,” Steve reminded. Clint mumbled something before pressing play. He dropped the remote to the ground, and Scott got up to get it from the floor. I settled into Bucky and watched as the movie took over the attention of the group.

Chapter Text

“I applaud Eggsy for getting some!” Sam called out. Steve groaned in protest.

“We are not going to applaud a dude for blowing up people’s heads and having sex directly because of it.”

What is sex? I thought to myself.

“Sex,” Wanda translated to Russian. I nodded in understanding.

“That girl was cute, but not as cute as Roxy,” I responded.

“Can we all agree that Merlin is by far the best character in the whole thing?” Clint called out as Scott navigated through the recordings to the second Kingsmen.

“Is this the one with Channing Tatum?” Natasha asked. Sam nodded.

“Yes. But he has nothing compared to this sexy body right here!” Sam called out.

“He does have many girls’ attention,” Natasha countered.

“You truly only need one girl to look at you like you hung the moon in the sky and their eyes sparkle, knowing that you are what they call home,” Sam responded, giving Natasha a side hug. I smirked at her.

“Stop being romantic!” Clint protested, throwing a piece of cardboard at Sam.

“So, Sam,” I called out, directing everyone’s attention towards me. “Have you found a girl that looks at you like you hung the moon and their definition of home is you?” Sam smiled and looked down.

“There is this one girl. I think she realizes that she is doing it but doesn’t want to admit it. I am willing to wait all the time that she needs,” Sam responded. I smiled at him, knowingly.

“I’m sure that she will come around soon,” I encouraged.

“As much as strengthening relationships is always a good thing, we should probably start this movie is any of us want to sleep tonight,” Steve reminded. I curled into Bucky, shivering slightly and nodded. Bucky pulled on a blanket from the back of the chair and draped it over us. Scott pressed play and the quarrels of the team began to die down.

Chapter Text

As the tattoo gun win gold drew near the man’s skin, I dug my face into Bucky’s shoulder. I pressed the heels of my palms into my ears as much as I could. Bucky ran his hand over my back, attempting to comfort me.

“Can you mute it, Scott?” Bucky asked. The screams of pain filled the air and I began to whimper. Bucky turned and grabbed a pillow to throw. A soft thud and a startled yelp came from someone a few seconds later. Bucky held onto me protectively.

“Turn off the damn TV, Lang!” Bucky growled. Echoes of the screams flooded my thoughts, causing me to whimper.

“You are alright, Doll. He is gone. You aren’t getting any more tattoos. You’re safe,” Bucky assured.

“I’ll do whatever you want. Just please stop,” I begged, remembering to stay in the common language, thinking of the extra tattoos from mixing languages. I felt someone kneel down next to me but I made no move to interact with them.

“Dima. I can stop the pain if you want,” Wanda offered. “But you have to let me into your thoughts. Can you do that for me?” I nodded but still clung to Bucky.

“I don’t think that-“

“Trust me.” I focused on her voice and all thoughts became muddled.

“Keep me away from them,” I begged.

“Of course,” she responded before I blacked out completely.

Chapter Text

I woke up on top of a bed with a thin blanket on top of me. I threw the covers off and stood up before checking my skin for new markings.

“There are no new markings. We didn’t hurt you,” Steve stated, bored. I turned towards him, sitting in a chair and backed closer to the corner.

“What happened? Where is papa?” I asked, fearful. He stood up and began walking towards me.

“Zola isn’t here, but I know a few people if you want to talk with him again,” Steve offered. I shook my head violently and felt two walls converge behind me. I sunk down, hoping that someone would come to rescue me soon.

“What do you want to hear from your father? Do you want him to give you your next mission? Do you want him to give you away so others can use you for anything that they desire? Or do you still hope that-“ The door opened with a bang. Splinters flew from the now broken door.

“Step away from them,” Bucky growled.

“As if you would hurt me,” Steve scoffed. Bucky lunged at Steve and pushed him against the wall.

“Snap out of it, Punk. The serum is corrupting you,” Bucky reminded, jostling Steve. I felt a hand grabbing my arm and I looked over to see Sam pulling me towards the door. I crawled through the door and wiped away the tears from fear that had formed.

“Can I carry you to my room? You will be safe there,” he promised. I nodded and felt myself being lifted up. I grabbed onto his neck to prevent myself from falling. He brought me to the bedroom next door and set me down on the bed. He turned back to close the door when I whimpered.

“No closed doors. Closed doors mean that I am going to be hurt,” I stated firmly. He nodded and left the door open as he walked back to the bed.

“Can I do anything to help you?” Sam asked softly. He sat down on the bed and I pulled him closer. We settled down with me curled into his side.

“Tell me a story about the people in New York that we are meeting,” I requested. I reached for his hand and began to play with his fingers.

“Tony is the guy that would be helping you. He is very into 80s music and is very hyper. There was this time he had a piece of metal stuck in his chest that was killing him and he decided that he was going to race cars in Europe. He was doing great! Like, I have a feeling that he did illegal racing in high school. He was about halfway into the race when a guy tied to kill him with electric whips on a backpack.”

“I would say kinky but I think it would be too painful,” I interrupted. He laughed and looked down at me.

“Yeah. They cut straight through a car door so the foreplay would not last long at all,” he joked. A thump was heard through the wall that was adjacent to Steve and Bucky. I flinched at the sound and Sam held onto me tighter. He rubbed my back and I began shaking.

“What is something that I should do now that I am free?” I asked, trying to distract myself long enough to stop shaking.

“Bucky goes to planned parent clinics and protects the women that enter the building. He often sits on the steps and sharpens knives to scare away protesters. You should be a teenager and get in trouble while helping people,” he offered. “And you have to listen to music.”

“Like Beethoven?” I asked, hopeful.

“More like One Direction or Sleeping With Sirens,” he prompted.

“Who?” I asked, confused.

“Don’t worry, Dima! I will show you the musical world while we are on the plane,” Sam responded, kissing the top of my head.

“Hey, Sam?” Natasha called out from the door.

Chapter Text

“Yes, my beautiful ray of sunshine?” Sam responded, smiling.

“Why are Steve and Bucky attacking each other in the room next door?” she asked, strongly. I shifted so I had use of my arms.

“S-T-E-V-E THREATENED ME WITH HANDING ME INTO MY DAD,” I signed, quickly. She growled softly.

“I’ll be back.” She left and began walking towards the other room.

“You might want to plug your ears,” Sam warned. I covered my ears and curled into a ball, leaning into Sam as much as possible. When the first thump hit, I flinched and began muttering a song.

“Tili Tili Bom. Close your eyes quickly.” Sam began to rock me back and forth. Bang! “Someone’s walking by the window and nocking at the door.”

“Tili Tili Bom. Can you hear the birds at night? He’s already made his way into the house.” Sam had joined me in singing the Russian song. I stopped shaking briefly before hearing another thump. Whimpering, I curled into Sam even more than I already was.

“For those who can’t sleep. Hear his steps. He’s already close!” Sam continued, alone. I focused on his voice, flinching when another set of hands began touching me.

“Tili Tili Bom,” Both Natasha and Sam sang together. I relaxed, knowing that the thudding had finally ceased. By the end of the song, I had uncurled enough that I could nest in between the both of them.

“Sorry about the sound, Sunshine. Steve just needed a reminder on manners,” Natasha said softly.

“Is it safe to leave?“ I asked, softly. She nodded. I ran out of the room and back into the hallway.

Chapter Text

I stepped into the room and flinched at the mess. I climbed over the furniture to get my jacket before heading back to the hallway where Sam and Natasha stood, nervous.

“Why did you run?” Sam asked.

“Jacket. I don’t go anywhere without it because of the tattoos,” I explained briefly.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty is awake!” Scott cheered, entering the hallway.

“What happened last night?” I asked the three of them. They all looked down, hesitantly. “That bad?” They nodded. “Shit.”

“Food and talk?” Sam offered. “I make a mean breakfast!” I nodded and followed Sam into the kitchen. I climbed on top of the counter, in the corner, and leaned into both of the walls. Sam began dancing around the kitchen, bringing ingredients over to another counter.

“You do know, whatever happened last night, I have experienced worse,” I assured. Natasha leaned back on the chair that she was sitting on and sighed loudly, obviously disappointed.

“Let’s start with what you remember?” Scott offered. I nodded and watched Sam, avoiding eye contact.

“I remember Kingsman 1 and in the 2^nd where the guy was getting tattooed and then waking up to Steve being close to saying that he is going to bring me back to my dead father,” I stated briefly. Natasha stood up and walked over to me quietly. I watched as Sam glanced at Natasha before continuing cooking.

“What about the tattoo scene do you remember?” Natasha asked, putting a hand on my thigh.

“It was gold and that Wanda stopped the- well, she stopped everything? Turning off the TV would have been just fine,” I stated, confused on why they used such drastic measures.

“The TV was off for a good 10 minutes and you were screaming in pain because your whole body was being electrocuted. She said that you would only get worse so she made your brain release melatonin and helped you go to sleep,” Natasha corrected. I gasped softly.

“Did I hurt anyone?” I asked, more concerned for the others than my own health.

“You did shock Bucky a bit, but he is fine. His hair is a little poufy and he looks like a bear,” Sam confided, handing me a plate of pancakes.

“A cuddly bear?” I asked, watching everyone settle down before I began eating.

“You are not cuddling with any bears,” Bucky ordered, walking by as he kissed my cheek.

“Not even you?” I asked, watching him come back to the counter and sit next to me.

“Here I was thinking you had met a bear that was willing to cuddle on a mission without me,” Bucky taunted lightly.

“Yeah, yeah. They were telling me about last night and said that your hair is poufy,” I responded. “You look cute with your hair like that. Non-threatening.” He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it. Clint walked in and stole an untouched pancake from Natasha’s plate.

Chapter Text

“I get to see my family again!” Clint cheered softly. I smiled as he danced around the kitchen.

“What time are we leaving, Bird Brain?” Bucky asked.

“Hey!” Sam called out, offended.

“Not you,” Bucky corrected.

“Out the door in two hours!” Clint responded, cheerfully. He held out his hand to me and I jumped off of the counter, accepting it. He began to twirl me around and laughed joyously. I joined in but stopped when I noticed Scott staring at me.

“What?” I asked concerned.

“Nothing. You just- you remind me of my daughter,” he responded. I let go of Clint’s hand and walked over to Scott.

“Come on, dance with me,” I requested. He nodded and stood up. I dragged him to the empty area of the kitchen and held one of his hands. “Pick your dance.”

“Simple slow dance is fine,” he muttered, attempting to find a comfortable place to put his hands. I let him guide me into a slow turning sway.

“Does she like to dance with you?” I asked. He nodded, looking down at me.

“She stands on my toes and laughs. She is so small and precious. I miss her. I don’t get to see her often. But I still miss her.”

“Despite the evilness that my father enjoyed stirring up, I still miss him. I imagine that she will be thrilled the next time that you see each other,” I commented softly. He nodded and brought us to a halt.

“I should grab a picture of her,” he offered, smiling. I nodded in encouragement as he walked off into the hallway. I looked at the group to notice them all staring at me.

Chapter Text

“Why are you all staring at me?” I asked hesitantly.

“He doesn’t open up much. We have no clue how old his daughter is or anything,” Sam responded, running his thumb over the back of Natasha’s hand.

“Reminding people of their past is a good way to get them to open up,” I muttered, moving back onto the counter.

“Exhorting blackmail data?” Wanda asked, waking into the kitchen.

“Nope, just working some magic,” I responded. She smirked at me but it fell when my face contorted with pain. I took the fork that I was using and laid it on my stomach, hoping that it would alleviate the pain. It didn’t work and the pain began to spread. Bucky held out his hand and jolted when I Squeezed it.

“Sorry. Is there any way to prevent it when we are on the plane? I have short-circuited a small plane before,” I asked, fidgeting on the countertop.

“I think so,” Wanda said hesitantly. I nodded, slightly scared of myself.

“Let’s go get you all packed for the trip,” Natasha offered, moving her hand so her fingers were laced with Sam’s before standing up. I nodded and jumped off of the counter.

“Whatever you end up doing, just make sure that I don’t hurt anyone else. I hate that I keep hurting people,” I requested, leaving the room quickly. I rushed to the room with my clothes and hid behind the open door. I sunk to the ground with my palms pressing into my eyes to prevent the tears from falling.

“Dima?” Sam called out, into the bedroom. I tried to make myself smaller and held my breath. The both of them walked into the room and then closed the door. I watched as they both looked around the room for me. Sam turned and noticed me. He hurdled the strewn furniture and knelt in front of me.

Chapter Text

“What happened there, Sunshine?” Sam asked softly.

“I hurt Bucky; last night and just now. I am the reason for 52 murders and I was the killing blow for 20 of them. I want to stop hurting people,” I mumbled, curling into myself tighter.

“It will be better soon. We are going to meet Tony and he is going to know how to help. And it is going to be great,” Sam responded, reaching out to hold my hands.

“You have found people that you are starting to trust and you don’t want to because that means that they can hurt you and you can hurt them,” Natasha said softly. I looked at her and nodded.

“How about this? If you use the stop light system for how you feel, we will use it as well,” Natasha offered.

“What is the stop light system?” I asked hesitantly.

“Nat? Really?” Sam chided half-heartedly.

“What? Nick used it with me. More people would have been killed if he didn’t,” she stated. “Green is ‘I feel safe and comfortable.’ Yellow is ‘I am on edge but I am OK enough to do what I am supposed to be doing.’ And red is ‘Get me out of here. I am freaking out and don’t feel safe,” she explained briefly.

“Yeah,” I sighed and nodded. “I can do that.” I stood up. “Do people add colors?” Sam backed up before standing up as well.

“Sometimes. It depends on the person. I know one couple that uses gray for when they want to be alone,” Sam offered.

“Can we create a list later?” I asked, moving away from the wall.

“Sure,” Natasha responded, holding my hand. I smiled at her and then turned towards Sam.

“What am I supposed to be packing and where?” I asked, trying to create an order for something. He pulled out a suitcase from under the bed and set it on top of the bed.

“However much you can fit into this suitcase,” he prompted.

“So everything?” I asked, moving over to the shopping bags. I brought them back to the bed and began to separate each type of clothing into piles within the suitcase. After I finished, I zipped up the suitcase and sat on the ground in front of it. Sam and Natasha joined me on either side and rested their shoulders on mine.

“Nat? Do you ever hurt people to prevent them from wanting to help you?” I asked softly. She nodded and stared straight ahead.

“Sometimes. Yeah. Especially right after the Red Room. Letting people help meant that I would be abandoning my roots with that room. Luckily, I met Clint and this guy Nick. They were both persistent in getting me to become a normal human, for what it felt was the first time.

“Are we even human, though?”

“No. But it got easier to fake. More for their benefit than my own.” I sighed and put my head down.

“How do I fake it?” I asked.

“Well-“

Chapter Text

“Hate to break up the party but it is time for us to go,” Clint called out, leaning on the doorway. 

“I’ll tell you later,” Natasha promised.  I nodded quietly as the three of us stood up. 

“See you on the other side?” I asked, hugging Natasha tightly.

“Maybe even sooner,” she assured, rubbing my back lightly.  I took a deep breath and stepped away.  I grabbed the suitcase before taking Clint’s hand and joining him in the hall as Sam and Natasha said their goodbyes. 

“How ready are you to face an airport full of people?” Clint asked me. 

“Not at all but it can't be worse than being paraded around for being a scientific achievement,” I attempted to assure myself. 

“Just stay with us and we will protect you,” Clint promised, leading me to the front door.  Scott approached me, holding onto a picture. 

“This is my daughter from a year ago,” he explained, holding out the photo.  It had an eight-year-old girl. 

“She looks very sweet,” I responded, studying the childish face of happiness. Scott nodded proudly.

Maybe I could be that happy one day?

“Steve wants us to get into the car now,” Wanda informed, passing by. 

“I hope that I get the chance to meet her,” I said, hugging him. 

“So do I. I have a feeling that the both of you would get along great,” he agreed.  I smiled as I walked away and out the front door.  Clint was standing next to a car, loading the suitcases into the trunk. 

“I GO WHERE?” I signed, catching his attention. 

“BACK CAR.  5 MINUTES WE LEAVE,” he explained, quickly.  I nodded and climbed into the back of the car.  Steve was in the driver’s seat and Wanda was right behind him.  Bucky let out a soft groan as he sat next to Wanda and in front of me.

“You good?” I asked Bucky quietly.

“Never better,” he responded, looking straight ahead.  I stared at him, not believing, but he didn’t budge.  The trunk of the car slammed closed right before Clint and Sam entered the car. Sam sat next to Bucky and Clint sat next to Steve. 

“Everyone ready to meet up with the-“ Clint started.

“The end of civilization and its creator?” Steve finished. 

“Watch yourself, Punk,” Bucky growled. 

“He hurt you and you are still defending him?” Steve argued, pulling out of the driveway. 

“You and I both know that he should have finished the job. I can go into the line of fire and not get hurt,” Bucky said softly. 

“Argue later, drive now,” Clint reminded, breaking the dialogue. 

“Fine, but I still don’t like it,” Steve complained.  No one said anything and we rode in silence.  I stared out the window, hoping that everyone would drop the conversation.  Maybe it is dropped.

“You don’t have to like it,” Bucky whispered.  Maybe not. 

“I just got you back.  I don’t want you hurt,” Steve protested.

“I know of 2 ways to protect Bucky.  Either fix me, go back to HYDRA, or run away again and suffer through the consequences.  I guess that is three things.”

“You aren’t leaving us, Sunshine.  I just got you back as well,” Bucky growled. 

“Exactly.  And I don’t really want to be in more pain than I already am.  I know that you want to protect him, but so do I.  I was there, listening to his screams.  I watched as they tortured him. I grew up knowing that I was property of the soldier.  I need him safe or else I won’t be either,” I said softly.  He sighed and shook his head. He pulled over to the curb and unlocked the door. 

“If he gets hurt, it is on your head.  Now everyone out,” Steve growled.  Everyone slowly got out, tense at the situation.

“Of course, Sir,” I spat, stepping out of the car. 

Chapter Text

“Ready, Sunshine?” Sam asked, holding out his hand.  I nodded and allowed him to lead me to the back of the car.  Clint and Wanda had taken all of the bags and were wheeling them up the curb into the airport.  We followed the group slowly.

“So if Bucky were to walk into a chair because he was half awake, it would technically be my fault?” I asked, entertaining Steve’s threat.

“According to his overprotective ass, yes.  But Bucky is an idiot and has walked into a brick wall while-“

“OK, enough of that story,” Bucky interrupted, hanging on to Sam’s body squeezing his shoulder roughly.

“Fine, but it is a still a good story,” Sam protested.  I shook my head and watched as the two of them discreetly wrestled each other.

“Security is coming over here,” Wanda hissed, speed walking towards the guys. They separated, laughing. Clint came back with several tickets. 

“HAPPEN WHAT?” he signed to me.

“SAM TELL ME WHAT? BRICK WALL STORY. NEVER FINISHED.”

“FUN STORY.  LATER.” I nodded and smiled. 

“Is there a problem?” a police officer asked.  I shook my head. 

“Sorry, officer.  Just trying to keep my reputation of being stealthy,” Bucky apologized.  The officer nodded. 

“Must be some pretty damning evidence then,” he commented. 

“Ain’t that the truth,” Sam responded, laughing.

“Well, I hope that you can bury the evidence,” The officer encouraged.

“So do I, sir,” Bucky responded.  The officer waved and left us.  I turned to Wanda as we walked to the TSA check.

“How are we going to keep the plane from short-circuiting?” I asked, hoping that they had created some sort of plan for the plane ride. 

“Best shot, knock you out again.  Wake you up when we land,” Wanda said softly.  We all stood in line and showed the lady our passports. 

“Did Y'all have a fun time in Romania?” She asked.

“It was beautiful! All of the buildings were stunning.  I met a lot of good people,” I responded, squeezing Bucky’s metal arm. 

“Glad to hear that, sugar!” I smiled and thanked her as we moved through the line.

“Hey, you remember to not wear your binder, right?” Bucky asked.  I nodded. 

“I thought that I wasn’t allowed to wear it until further notice,” I responded.  He scoffed lightly.

“It was only last night. And it does hurt a lot when you are stuck in a small space.  Plus, you will be sleeping,” he said softly.  We drew near the terminal when Bucky reached out and grabbed Sam.

“Hey!” he complained, looking up from his phone.

“Not so local Falcon crashes into pedestrian! Confusion occurs!” Bucky hissed at him.

“Yeah, yeah. I was texting with Nat.  She was telling me about that spider kid,” Sam explained.  Bucky groaned, obviously annoyed at the ‘spider kid’

“You fought a spider?” I asked hesitantly.

“I wish Kiddo.  That would have made so much more sense,” Bucky complained, sitting down in a leather-clad chair.  I sat next to Bucky and Sam sat next to me.  Wanda and Clint sat across from us. 

“His name is Peter and he got bit by a radioactive spider and he now has superpowers.  He is a self-appointed apprentice of Tony,” Sam explained. 

“He talks too damn much,” Bucky reminded.

“Yes, but lucky for us, he likes to talk and is useless at keeping any sort of secret about himself,” Sam countered.  I looked at Sam, confused. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Bucky asked softly. 

“Nat was texting Tony, giving him the deets-“

“Never say that again.”

“About Dim and he said that Peter was getting ready for the pride parade because he is trans and bi,” Sam explained, excited. 

“Really?” I asked, excited as well.

“Yeah, Nat said that Peter is going to meet us when we land so you can meet him.”

“He might overwhelm Dima,” Clint brought up.

“Now boarding flight 1221,” the PA announced.  Clint stood up. 

Chapter Text

“That’s us, kiddo. Time to go,” he said hurriedly.  I nodded and held onto Sam’s hand as we followed Clint to the line. 

“Is Peter scary?” I asked, softly. Sam shook his head and laughed. 

“Have you ever seen a baby duck, waddling around after its mother, completely hopeless of fending for itself?” he asked.  I nodded and showed my ticket to the gatekeeper. 

“He is like that, but human. And he accidentally breaks a lot of shit,” Bucky said, guiding us through the tunnel. 

“He seems nice.  I wouldn’t mind talking to him.” I smiled. 

“I’ll text Nat so he will hand out with you while we try to defuse some of the tension between the groups. Sound good?” Sam asked.  I nodded.  Bucky stopped and pointed at the seat next to Wanda. 

“Sit here. She’ll stay with you while you are asleep,” Bucky whispered, kissing the top of my head.  Sam hugged me from behind before pushing me into the seat.  I sat down and looked at Wanda.

“When are we doing this?” I asked, softly.

“After they are done checking the seats,” she responded.  I nodded as I buckled myself in. 

“You sure it is going to work the whole plane ride?” I asked, looking at the baby in the seat across the aisle. 

“They are going to be ok.  Sam and Bucky were in the military, Clint is a fantastic pilot and I am telekinetic.  If anything bad happens, we can fix it,” she assured. 

“First flight worries?” A flight attendant asked us.  I shook my head. 

“No. The last time I was on a plane, the plane crashed and the only people that escaped was me and the person that I was trying to run away from.  I was kidnapped again and punished for escaping,”I said softly, looking at the child again. 

“Are you away from them now?” The attendant asked.  I nodded.

“I have people helping me get back home,” I assured.  She smiled and walked away. 

“Is it true?” Wanda asked.  I sighed and nodded, 

“I was maybe 12? The mission was to befriend a mother and get me to trust me with her child and then kill the child in front of the mother.  I couldn’t do it so i made an excuse that I needed a more populated area and went to an airport.  I told one of the people at the front desk that someone wanted to kidnap me again and hurt me.  She let me go on a plane and the other guy somehow got on the same one.  He grabbed me mid-flight and dragged me to the cockpit. Tied me up and i freaked out. Emotions went out of wack and i short-circuited the plane. I woke up back at the base,” i explained in Russian.  I looked up to see Wanda crying. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry.  I'm ok now. It is a thing of the past.”

“Is he still here? Like alive?” She asked, wiping away the tears,  j shrugged. 

“Maybe.  But that was like 12 years ago or something like that.” She nodded and took a deep breath to steady herself. 

“Do you want to curl up so I can put you to sleep?” She asked, I nodded and curled up as much as I could on the chair. I smiled at her and closed my eyes.

“Good night, Angel Bean. See you in New York,” Wanda promised, I slowed to minimal breathing and slowly lost consciousness.

Chapter Text

“Dima, we are here,” I heard Wanda say, shaking me awake.  I groaned and opened my eyes.

“Everyone safe?” I asked. She nodded.

“Everyone is safe,” she assured. I smiled before sitting up. Slowly, people shuffled out of the plane. I unbuckled my seatbelt and stood up as well.

“We will wait outside of the plane for the other three,” Wanda stated, tapping me so I would move into the aisle. I followed the mother that had the child out of the plane before the child started to cry. I flinched at the sound.

“No. Don't cry. Mamma’s got you,” the woman pleaded in hopes that the baby would stop. The baby cried louder and drew more attention.

“Can I hold your kid?” I asked the woman softly.

“What? Oh, sure!  Can I go to the bathroom while you do that?” She asked, handing me the crying baby.

“Yeah. Go ahead. I’ll be right here.”

“Its name is Keith,” she said before darting off.

“Wanna follow her? I can wait for the guys,” I offered, instantly suspicious. Wanda nodded and sped off. I sat down and bounced the baby on my lap gently.

“Are you tired, Keith? You can sleep here if you want.  I will keep you safe,” I encouraged. Smiling when Keith began to calm down. “There you go.  You are safe and mommy is going to come back soon.”

“Please tell me you did not give birth on the plane,” Sam pleaded softly, crouching down in front of me. I shook my head.

“The lady next to me had to go to the bathroom,” I said softly.  “Wanda followed her because she called Keith and ‘it’,” Bucky growled softly.

“Chill. You are going to scare the kid,” Clint scolded. Bucky softened and stood up.

“I'm gonna find Wanda. Text me when Peter comes,” he muttered, looking at Sam. Sam nodded and Bucky left quickly. The baby stirred in my arms but I rocked Keith into a heavier sleep.

“How was the plane ride?” I asked, looking at the two men left. 

“Fairly uneventful,” Clint responded, reaching out to take the baby. I handed Keith to him and leaned back against the wall.

“I found out that Bucky is afraid of heights,” Sam commented.

“He was pushed out of a plane without a parachute. Broke 3ribs, collarbone, and completely messed up the calibration of his arm. I had to finish the mission alone,” i stated gently, not letting the stinging in my chest disrupt my breathing.

“What the fuck is HYDRA?!?” Sam whispered violently.

“100% not an octopus," I scoffed, turning my head towards Sam, but kept my eyes closed.  "I still don’t get their logo."

"What are you doing with Keith!??!?! It is not some thing that you can hand around like a joint!!" The woman yelled, storming over to us.  I flinched at the sound, causing the pain to flair up even more.

"On a scale of 1 to please do, how would you feel about me shocking her?" I whispered. 

"No, just stay down," Sam instructed, standing up and positioning himself in front of me.  I stayed on the ground but felt around for something metal.

"How could you hand off my kid to complete strangers? I should have you arrested!" She threatened, trying to push bast Sam.  He held her back by her arms. 

"I wasn’t the one who abandoned my child," I countered, softly gasping as my hand touched the metal cover of the AC vent. 

"And you sent two people after me!" I glanced to my left to see Clint trying to keep Keith from waking up.  I leaned over and took Keith back. 

"I’m fine now," I promised Clint, countering his worried look. 

"Both of them went on their own accord.  And," I began, standing slowly. I walked past Sam, bouncing Keith lightly.   "Here is your beautiful son. One that is not an it.  Now, if you would excuse me, I would like to go and get the medical treatment that I am hear for so I am in less pain." She huffed and took the baby from me. 

"You should be ashamed that you stole my child from me in an airport!" She scolded as she walked away.  I rolled my eyes and sighed, grabbing onto Sam’s arm, loosely.  Sam positioned himself to carry some of my weight. 

"Don’t worry, kiddo.  I sent a video of her to the airport police," Clint said quietly, getting up.  He moved to my other side, noticing how weak I was feeling. 

"Bucky and Wanda are with Peter.  We better go so Peter doesn’t talk their ears off," Sam stated, looking up from his phone.  I nodded and walked with the two of them supporting me gently. 

"Are you ready to meet a hyperactive mutant kid, Dima?" Clint  asked, turning the three of us so we wouldn’t go in the wrong direction.  I nodded and looked around for Bucky or Wanda.  I spotted Bucky, standing next to a guy with a curly  mop of brown hair and eyes that seemed to glow.  He looked like he was talking a mile a minute and Wanda was pretending to pay attention to him.  Bucky was looking right at me, smiling slightly.  The kid stopped talking and followed Bucky’s gaze towards me. He strode over, holding onto me tightly. 

"You ok? The lady didn’t hurt you, did she?" He asked quietly.  I shook my head.

"Even if she did, I could have taken it," I responded.  Sam and Peter edged closer together and Peter whispered something to Sam. 

"Idk, man. If we need to know, they correct each other to repeat whatever they said in English," Sam responded.

"I felt it so Clint took the baby so I couldn’t hurt him.  I had to fix it.  Why do I have to keep fixing it.  I want to stop having to fix it every few hours,” I complained, softly. 

“Hopefully not for long, kiddo,” Bucky encouraged, letting me go from his hug. 

Chapter Text

“Hi! I’m Peter Parker! Most call me Peter.  Some do call me Penis Parker. I respond to both, but I prefer Peter and I am going to stop rambling,” he said quickly, holding out his hand.

“I’m Dima. Short for Demeter or Dimitri.  I'm nonbinary and I prefer they them pronouns,” I responded, shaking his hand.

“Pleasure to meet you, Dima. I have been told that I am taking you to Mr. Stark and the rest of the group will meet us later?" Peter confirmed, helping us distribute the luggage to their owners.  I picked up my suitcase and examined it for evidence of tampering.

"Yes," Clint confirmed.  "But I am going to be visiting my family for a few days so I won't be visiting the facility for a bit longer than everyone else." Peter nodded as he led us out to the parking lot.  He held out a set of keys to the adults and Sam took them.

"Take your time getting there! FRIDAY is there if you need anything," Peter instructed.  I hugged Clint quickly. 

"Have fun with the kids," I encouraged. 

"I will. Be safe," He responded before settling into the car.  Wanda hugged me gently. 

"Read a book to calm yourself. He is a good kid," she reminded. I nodded quickly. 

"Cute too," I whispered. 

"Careful.  He has a boyfriend," She scolded lightly.

"Fine," I mumbled, sulking over to Sam. 

"You will do great kiddo.  Soon enough, you will be free of this type of pain.  It will be great and this problem will be gone," Sam reminded, smiling at me. 

"Does he know about the lights? Did Nat tell him?" I asked, hoping that I would have a safety net while I didn’t have Bucky. He shook his head. 

"I don’t think so, but I can tell him while you talk with Bucky," he offered.  I nodded and thanked him quickly. He walked over to Peter and began talking to him. 

"Don’t worry.  Peter is a good fighter.  He beat me in a fight.  Safest kid to be around," Bucky assured, sneaking up behind me.  I settled into his arms and held his arms to my chest tightly. 

"Why are we trying to fix me? I’m broken. Every single attempt has broken me even more," I reminded.

"You can always call red at any time. Think of this as preventing new cracks instead of trying to hide the ones that already exist." I nodded and closed my eyes. 

"I can do that," I said, opening my eyes.  He squeezed my hand and stepped back.

"Kick ass, kiddo," he whispered, pushing me towards Peter and Sam. 

Chapter Text

"I use the same thing with my boyfriend.  But we ended up adding additional colors for better communication," Peter commented, facing Sam. 

"Glad to hear it. Maybe you can show them your colors on the drive or something," Sam suggested, stepping back slightly. 

"Ready?" I asked softly.  Peter jumped while turning around. 

"Yeah.  Let's go to the facility," he said, fumbling with his words.  I put the suitcase in the trunk and slid into the car.  Peter started the engine and it purred to life.  We waved as Peter drove out of the parking lot. 

"Thank you," I said softly, forcing myself to speak in English. 

"No problem at all! Always happy to help out in any what that I can," he responded cheerfully.  I smiled but made no move to further the conversation.

"So Sam had mentioned that you use the stoplight system as well," he commented softly. 

"Yeah.  Nat said it helped when she first broke ties with Russia. I guess I freaked them out one too many times."

"If you want, you can use it with me. My boyfriend introduced me to the lights after my first anxiety attack in front of him.  Wh have added a few colors. I can tell you in case you need to use them if you would like?" He asked softly.  I nodded and then remembered that he was focusing on the road.

"Yeah, that would be great," I responded, curling up on the seat and positioning myself so I was facing him better.

"I think the first one we added was grey. It means one of us doesn’t want to be around people.  No human, animal, alien, or any other type of creature is allowed to contact us. That one helps if you have a major sensory overload," he started off with.

"I like that one," I commented. 

"I think you would like blue as well.  It is mainly me that uses it.  it means that it is a nonverbal day.  You are willing to be around people or even comforted by being with people, but have no desire to talk," he said, pulling into a driveway.  I smiled but clenched my eyes shut as a wave of pain hit my right thigh.  I took a deep breath but let it out extremely shaky. 

"Is there a, a color for pain?" I asked, holding onto my thigh. 

"Magenta.  Is there anything I can do to help?" Peter responded, turning the car off. Or maybe I did that.  I’ll have to ask later.  I shook my head. 

"No just wait it out.  It should be over soon." I gasped.  "And don't touch me.  I might hurt you," I ordered, watching as he reached towards me. His hand paused.

"How would you hurt me?" He asked, obviously weighing options. 

"my father’s goons are currently electrocuting me with close to 3 amps. A little gift I got when I was seven," I responded. "Anyone I come in contact with gets a static discharge." He nodded and took his hand back. As the pain subsided, I calmed my breathing.

"Better?" Peter asked softly.  I nodded. 

"I’m ok now.  No more pain at the moment.  Where are we supposed to be going?" I asked softly, trying to distract him.  He opened his car door and stepped out. Softly groaning, I did the same. He helped me take my suitcase out of the trunk.

"I’ll show you to the room where you’ll be staying in and then I will get Tony for you,"He explained., entering the pristine facility.  The entrance hall was empty but a voice still filled the circular 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Parker.  Would you like me to tell Mr. Stark that you have arrived with a guest?" The female voice asked.

"That would be great F.R.I.D.A.Y," Peter called out, smirking.  "Do you know when Wade is coming over?"

"I believe he is already here, given the abundance of pancakes in the kitchen," F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded.

Chapter Text

"Shit!" Peter muttered.  I laughed quietly. 

"Point me in the right direction and go save the kitchen," I encouraged. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. this is Dima.  Let me know if anything happens to them.  Especially if they say the word red," Peter ordered to the voice. He looked at me.  "Go through this hall and go to the 10th door on the right. That will be your room.  Thank you so much!" He called out before running off.  I shook my head and dragged my suitcase down the hall.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" I called out softly. 

"Yes, Dima?" She responded. 

"What do you know about Armin Zola?" I asked, changing the signed two to a three. 

"Most of what I know about Zola is clarified but what I can release is that he infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. about forty years ago."

"What do you know about his family?" I asked, trying to keep my footfalls light but still audible. 

"Armin Zola had no family that we know of," she responded with.  "Do you know of any family that I could update my files with?"

"Yes," I responded.  I saw someone turn the circular corner and tried to keep my head down to not draw attention to myself.  The guy grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the wall. 

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" He asked harshly.  I am here for Tony Stark.  I was told to wait in a room," I responded, trying to keep calm so I don’t electrocute him by mistake.  He released my arm to grab my throat. 

"Bullshit. Who do you work for?"

"No one," I responded.  He squeezed tighter and my hands flew from the wall to his hands to try and push them off.  "Red, red, red," I whimpered. 

"Who is red?" He demanded.  I heard two sets of footsteps running towards us. 

"I don’t work for anyone!" I promised.

"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing, Happy? Dima is a friend.  No need to hurt them!" Peter called out, ripping Happy’s hands off of me.  I sunk to the floor, gasping and felt someone’s arms around me.  I flinched and let out a shaky breath.  Realizing that they weren’t trying to hurt me, I leaned into the person’s arms. 

"What color are you?" ok.  So it is a guy holding me and talking with me. 

"Between blue and grey," I responded.  It is not Peter.  Maybe Wade?

"Petey, trade places," the guy requested. 

"What color are they?" Peter asked quickly.

"A blue-grey," the dude responded. 

"Wade.  Have Happy help you with those pancakes," Peter ordered, crouching next to me.  The other guy left and it was silent. 

"Can I hold you?" Peter asked quietly.  I nodded and uncurled myself so he could move me.  He sat down with his back against the wall and pulled me into his lap.  He hugged me closely and began to run his hand through my hair. 

"Do you have a binder on at the moment?" He asked. I shook my head.  "Would you like to put one on?" I nodded and moved to get up. 

"Dima, you appear to have bruised ribs from this morning.  You should be healed in a few hours as long as no more chest injuries occur," F.R.I.D.A.Y. commented.  I groaned softly in annoyance. 

"Can you tell me how you hurt your chest? It is fine if you can’t," Peter asked, moving me so I was leaning against the wall with my back straight. 

"Electrocution," I stated softly.

"That is why you are here, isn’t it?" I nodded. 

Chapter Text

"Any chance Wade made edible pancakes?" I asked, getting up slowly.  Talking felt weird.  Like I had a rock in my throat.  Ugh.

"Last I checked, he hasn’t burnt any pancakes for the last 3 years.  He is Canadian so he will be offended if you don’t use maple syrup," Peter responded and linked arms with me. 

"Sounds good," I responded, following his lead down the hall. 

"Hey, Petey! Happy left.  How is the kid doing?" Wade asked.  moving away from a stack of pancakes.

"Better.  Like a yellowy green.  Rumor has it, you made these pancakes," I responded. 

"Yes, yes I did.  I’ll give you some if you eat them with maple syrup," Wade bargained. 

"I’ll do you one better. Maple syrup and vodka!" I tried, smirking slightly.

"How old are you?" Wade asked.

"Depends.  How should I count the years?" I asked quietly.  Shuffling my feet. 

"What do you mean?" Peter asked. 

"I was born in ’83 but I was experimented on and stuck in the cryo for years at a time," I responded. 

"The cryo?" Wade repeated. 

"Cryogenic freezer.  Same is Bucky," I explained. "Can I eat now? I'm hungry and staring at pancakes isn’t helping." Wade nodded and made a plate of pancakes, drowning them in syrup. 

"Hold off on the vodka until we can figure out how old Dima is biologically," Peter ordered, sitting down with us. 

"Yeah, yeah. Don’t put me in the middle of depriving a Russian of their beloved beverage," Wade muttered, placing the plate, a fork, and a knife in front of me. 

"He’s right you know," a voice called out from behind.  I turned around, hand grabbing the table to prevent myself from fighting the new voice.  Tony Stark stood in the doorway.  "I can’t believe I just said that, but Wade is right.  I got in the way of a Russian friend of my father and his alcohol when I was eight.  I have scars from where Zola hit me with the bottle."

"So you’re the kid that he started that with!" I commented, excited at the discovery. 

Chapter Text

"What do you mean? Do you know Zola?" Tony asked.  I nodded.

"Yeah. That is kinda why I am here.  Sadly being his firstborn does nothing to protect me from his experiments," I responded, eating Wade’s pancakes. 

"What did he do?" Tony asked softly, moving towards the table.  He looked broken.  Why does everyone keep looking at me like I am breaking them?

"Electrical wiring has been embedded into my skin via tattoos. Black ink was tattooed on top to hide the electrical wiring. He also gave me part of the Winter Soldier serum," I responded.

"Is the fucker still alive?" Wade growled. Peter grabbed his arm and held it down. 

" I appreciate it Wade, but last I heard, he is very dead," I assured.  Tony nodded in agreement. 

"How about you continue eating and I will have Dummy help me set up a lab so I can look at what he has done?" Tony offered. 

"Sure.  Do you want to know about the fail-safes that he put in?" I asked. 

"Later kiddo.  Have F.R.I.D.A.Y. let me know if anything starts happening." I nodded and let out a small wince as I felt my foot jerk in pain. 

"Sir. Dima seems to be in a state of pain at the moment," F.R.I.D.A.Y. announced calmly. 

"Are you being electrocuted right now?" Tony asked.  I nodded quickly.

"Do you have something conductive? Preferably something that won't get damaged," I asked, gasping as the pain spread up my leg. 

"Yeah.  Let me get it," Peter offered, running towards a cabinet in the kitchen.  He pulled out a copper pot and placed it in front of me.  I waited until he let go of the handle before grabbing the pot.

"Copper is highly conductive," he mentioned.  I nodded and rolled up my jeans, showing the multiple lines that swirled up my leg.  I placed the whisk on a cluster of lines and instantly felt relief.  I let out a loud sigh and placed the pot on the table.

"Are you safe?" Peter asked.  I nodded slowly.  He hugged me and held onto my hands. 

"I can’t tell which is shaking more," Wade commented. I closed my eyes and willed myself to calm down.

"I’m going to set up.  Peter, come with me. Wade, stay with Dima.  Tell me if it happens again or if they get worse," Tony ordered.  I felt them all move to different places.  After booth footsteps receded, Wade pulled me to the floor and hugged me tightly. 

"Do you have a color?" He asked.

"Blue and Magenta, I guess?" I signed, pulling away so I could face him. 

Chapter Text

"For the blue, is it all languages or only certain ones?"

"VERBAL SHUT DOWN.  I CAN USE SIGN LANGUAGE," I responded, pushing up the sleeves of my jacket so the hem rested right below my elbow.  Wade’s eyes instantly went to my tattoos. 

"Do you want me to sign or talk?" Wade asked softly.

"EITHER.  I DON’T CARE," I responded.

"How long were you tortured for?" Wade asked quietly.

"YEARS.  BETWEEN GETTING THE TATTOOS, LEARNING HOW TO GATHER INTEL, CHECKING THE FAIL-SAFES, TRAINING WITH JAMES. IT TOOK SEVERAL YEARS." He sighed.  It seemed worried or frustrated.  I couldn’t tell. 

"Can you show me the tattoos?" Wade asked.  I nodded and got out from under the table. 

"I NEED DIFFERENT CLOTHES TO SHOW YOU," I explained quickly. We walked into the hallway silently. I found my suitcase and carried it to what I assumed my room was.

"Come on, I’m just changing into shorts," I muttered, stepping inside the room.

"You sure that you want me to come in there?" Wade asked.  I nodded.

"Only if you want to.  You can tell me about how you and Peter started dating, if you want," I offered, quietly, ignoring the tightness of my throat. Wade entered my room and closed the door behind him.

"Do I scare you?" Wade asked nervously.

"I grew up in a place where I would be woken up at ungodly hours so my father could at to my tattoos and perform other experiments on me.  Everything scares me," I responded, taking off my pants.  I put on a pair of shorts and sat on the bed.

"How did you escape?" Wade asked, sitting next to me.  He looked over the lines and I grabbed his hand, putting it on my thigh.

"They are safe to touch right now. Bucky broke a few rules on a mission and they dragged me out of the room as they were punishing him.  I was going to be punished as well because I was supposed to keep him in line solely by being his property. I killed the three guys that were holding me and haven’t stopped running since," I responded.

"Mr. Parker, Mr. Stark, and Dr. Banner are ready to see you," F.R.I.D.A.Y. stated, cutting wade off before he could say anything.  I sunk into the bed and held on to his arm. 

"I’m scared that they will trigger a failsafe. It hurts bandit is hard to stop," I muttered.  Wade sighed and wrapped his arms around me. 

"Let’s go tell them what trips it and what has to be done to stop it," Wade offered. 

"But do I deserve stopping this punishment? I still ran away.  I left Bucky there to take the fall," I worried, turning away from Wade.

"Yes. We all do," Wade responded without hesitation. I shook my head.

"But it is all I have ever known," I whispered.

"Well, now it is time to figure out how to live without it.  We can help you learn," Wade promised, grabbing my face.

"Promise?" I whispered.

"I swear that if I fail to help you, I will never fuck-" the door slammed open.

Chapter Text

"I don’t care what you are talking about, just separate and move your asses to the lab," Tony called out from the doorway.  Wade dropped his hands and helped me stand up.  I looked at Tony to see him looking at me shocked. His eyes stared at my right thigh where a version of the HYDRA symbol was tattooed on me. 

"I’ll show you the rest when we get to the lab," I stated firmly. Wade followed me out of the room as I tugged the sleeves of my jacket down further.

"How much more?" Tony asked, passing me so he could lead the way. 

"It is everywhere that is hidden by normal clothes," I responded, Following him into a nearby room. 

"Strip to your underwear. I want to see how much of you is-"

"Woah, Tony! Let the kid breathe! And don’t demand them into stripping," a guy with salt and pepper curly hair scolded. My hands left the now unzipped jacked and fell to my sides. 

"Sorry.  Just pissed at- you know what.  Never mind. F.R.I.D.A.Y, do a full body scan of vitals and body comp," Tony ordered, walking away to calm himself down.

"Sorry about him.  He has a thing against HYDRA. Mainly because they killed his parents," the newest guy said.  "Bruce, by the way."

"Dima," I responded, shaking his hands.  "Most people seem to have a thing against HYDRA.  With project insight, and being Nazis, and all that other stuff the general public knows about."

"We do have chairs. It is not a cocktail party," Peter reminded, walking up from behind Wade.  We silently moved a few chairs into a haphazard circle by the time Tony came back.

"Sorry about that earlier. I don’t have a healthy relationship with HYDRA," Tony apologized, sitting down in the only empty seat.

"Don’t worry about it. I would be more worried if you were ok with what HYDRA has done," I assured.

"They have done some pretty fucked up things haven’t they," Tony mused. 

"You have no idea," I said, grimacing as brief flashes of the torturous ways of HYDRA flashed through my mind. Tony’s eyes flashed in anger but he stayed silent. Bruce sighed and put his hand on Tony’s knee.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., start a profile," Tony bit out.

"File ready for input," F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded.

"Ok. So what is your name? Sorry, I have to do the complete formality," Bruce said softly. I nodded and took a breath, preparing myself for the interrogation.

"Demeter Rebeka Zola.  Rebeka is spelled with a K," I responded, watching Peter play with Wade’s hand.

"Do you have a nickname, if so, what is it?" Tony followed up.

"Dima. It is also short for Dimitri. That is why I like it." I shifted my gauze to a robot making its way towards us. It had a fire extinguisher and looked ready to fight.

"And your pronouns?" Peter prompted. 

"They/them.  Am I the only one seeing that?" I asked pointing at the robot.  Everyone turned as Tony scrambled to get out of his chair. 

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Dum-E! Drop it!" Tony shouted storming over to the robot. 

"What have I told you about the fire extinguisher? Huh? After the stunt you pulled, you’ve been banned!!"

"What stunt?" I whispered to the remaining three while Tony was prying the extinguisher from Dum-E’s claw.

"Dum-E likes to spray Tony with the fire extinguisher. Especially when he is not on fire," Bruce responded casually. 

"You’re joking?" I asked hesitantly. 

"I wish he was," Tony responded, throwing himself into his seat.

"Would you mind showing us how much they tattooed?" Peter asked as Bruce examined a hologram of my body.  I nodded and took off my jacket completely.  I took off my shirt and stood there with shorts and the sports bra I had put on the night before. 

"They cover more but Mama bear said that other people might not be ok with that kind of nudity."

"Mama bear?" Wade asked, smirking.

Chapter Text

"Nat," I clarified.

"What do you remember about getting the tattoos? How old were you when they started?" Bruce asked standing up.

"I was 7 or 8 when my father started.  He wanted to start when I was 5 but my mother managed to delay him. I remember that they started on my right arm.  I remember the feeling of the metal searing into my flesh.  I remember screaming," I listed, closing my eyes.  "I remember begging my father to stop.  Crying. Fighting people once I was free from the restraints. I remember the taste of blood.  Waking up in my bed to realize that I have been mutilated."

"Is that supposed to happen?" Peter whispered, interrupting me.  My eyes snapped open and soft metal clattered to the ground. I looked down to see myself surrounded by paper clips. 

"What the hell?" Tony whispered, holding a box of paper clips. 

"I would suggest finding doorknob for some magnificent static discharge," I whispered, Careful to not move.  I looked at Bruce and smiled hesitantly. 

"Is it safe for you to touch anything?" Bruce asked. I shrugged. 

"I mean, I have to touch something eventually.  Better mental than another human," I responded.  Noticing movement, I turned to the side and watched in horror as Wade leaned over towards me.

"Wade, no!" I shouted, unable to jump back as his hand connected with my wrist.  I flinched as I felt the static charge surge through him as well.  He convulsed briefly before clasping on the floor. 

"No, no, no, no, no," I muttered, kneeling in front of him.  I felt someone try to pull me away But I fought and gripped Wade’s hand tightly. 

"Woah! That’s a grip!" Wade shouted, sitting up.  I looked at him shocked and confused. 

"I can’t die permanently. It doesn’t work," Wade explained, holding my face gently.  I choked back a sob and put my hand on top of his.

"I thought I killed you," I mumbled. 

"how come it doesn’t kill you?" Bruce asked. I looked up at him nervously.

"I’m used to it."

Chapter Text

"Peter? Can you call Bucky? I gotta talk to him about something," Tony responded, gritting his teeth.

"Sorry," I muttered, shrinking back toward my chair.  I grabbed my jacket from the seat and put it on quickly.  I felt too exposed.  Bruce, looking angered, knelt next to me. 

"Nothing to be sorry about.  You are doing just fine," he assured.  "What do you remember about your missions?"

"I had 38. 7 weren’t supposed to be mine but I also gave up 5.  I had 20 split missions with Bucky," I listed, staring straight ahead. 

"What was Bucky like?" Bruce asked.

"Broken. Confused. Angry. Soft-spoken." I smiled as I remembered him during our missions.

"What are you smiling about? Good sex?" Wade asked.  I shook my head.

"Nah. They tried to get Bucky to get me pregnant. Super baby and all that. I gave him a choice, they didn’t.  We created a code to fake it so they wouldn’t separate us," I clarified. "He had to show that he was able to control me and dominate me. I had to show that I was completely loyal to HYDRA and its assets. I was completely submissive and he protected me from our targets and our owners." I looked at Bruce and Wade and noticed that they were smiling. Tony and Peter were not in the room. Strange.

"You were in a BDSM relationship with the Winter Soldier?" Wade asked, excited.

"Yes, but I faked the sexual part of our relationship with the most successful Winter Soldier. Bucky wasn’t the only one. I was truly his pet for all purposes other than sex," I clarified.

"So given that you are a member of the BDSM community, what is your favorite-"

"Wade! No!" Peter scolded, walking back into the room. Wade bowed his head and shifted so his legs were underneath him. He set his hands on his lap and sat perfectly still.

"Sorry, Sir," he muttered. Peter sat down and muttered something into his ear. Wade relaxed and Bruce tapped my shoulder. I looked at him as he motioned for me to follow him to a different part of the lab.  I followed quietly, leaving the couple alone. 

"Do you know how the electricity works?" Bruce asked, standing in front of a desk.   

"There is a chip in the back of my head that receives the transmission.  Once it is alerted, it caused pain on certain clusters and if any of the wires are cut, the surrounding fail safes go off," I explained before turning around.  I pointed at the two likes that disappeared underneath my hairline. "If either of these is cut, every single one of the fail safes will go off at the same time." I bit out, trying to keep my voice steady. 

"So how does it turn on with emotions?" Bruce asked, touching the ends of the lines gently. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that he isn’t going to hurt me.

"My guess is that my brain sends a similar frequency to the incoming transmissions," I offered.

"As a scientist, it is fascinating but as a human, it is awful," Bruce confessed. I turned and I smiled at him.

"I think it is kinda cool that I pretty much have a superpower, but sadly I can’t control it at all," I brought up. Bruce looked at me surprised. 

"I’m not entirely sure that we can cut off the signal completely.  There could defiantly be a way, I’m just not sure how safe it is.  We can try for sure. I think we would have to take out the chip. But, if we can’t do that safely, we might be able to change the frequency to something that you can control. Only if you want to. And this isn’t something that I want you to decide right now.  It is just me thinking out loud," Bruce rambled.  I jumped up onto a nearby desk and smiled at Bruce.

"I think I would-" a door from the other room with Peter and Wade slammed closed. 

Chapter Text

"Why are you two making out on the floor?" Tony asked.  I couldn’t see Peter or Wade, but I had a good idea of what was happening.

"Hey, Tony! Come over here. I have an idea!" Bruce called out, distracting Tony from Peter and Wade.

"if you are going to continue, find a different room," Tony ordered before walking towards us.

"What ya got for me, Brucie?" Tony asked, looking at me on the table.

"Well, the wiring is controlled by a chip in Dima’s brain. I would love to do a scan but I’m not sure how it would affect anything.  I’m thinking that it might be dangerous to take it out, but with Bucky’s permission, I think we can jam the signal so the chip only reacts to their brain waves like it did with the paperclips. At least until we know what we are dealing with better," Bruce offered. Tony looked over some of the notes that Bruce had made. 

"Why are we asking Bucky for explicit permission?" I asked.

"I’m not sure how far that relationship went, but I’m guessing that he wouldn’t be too happy about us operating on you without him knowing first," Bruce responded. 

"I did just get off of the phone with him," Tony commented. "He is worried about you, Dima. He wants to talk about some of the things you learned from HYDRA. He also said to tell you, 'chicken butt.' I’m not sure what I just said in Russian, but if he made me say something stupid, I will fight him again," Tony threatened as I began smiling at him. 

"It is just a code word between us. When did he say that he was coming?" I asked.

"Sometime tonight. How are you holding up?"

"I’m fine. Don’t know what to think about the environment.  Everything feels…" I trailed off trying to think of the English word. 

"Is it too stressful? Overwhelming? Scary?" Tony asked. I shook my head. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, translate 'too comfortable' for me," I requested, looking up.

"I believe the word that Dima is looking for is 'too comfortable or safe'," F.R.I.D.A.Y helped. 

"That," I agreed, pointing at the ceiling. "I feel like at any moment I’m going to be told that I failed a mission. It used to get quiet and then they would come and find me and make sure I knew exactly where I went wrong.  Or when Bucky went wrong." Tony moved towards me quickly and hugged me. I hugged back, closing my eyes briefly. He wasn't there to hurt me. He rather protect me. Wow.

"Peter, looks like you aren’t going to be an only child anymore,
Wade commented.  I opened my eyes to see Wade and Peter looking at Tony and me.

"Too late.  Bucky and Nat are already planning on trying. But they are dating different people so I think I am going to be under joint custody," I stated.  Peter laughed at the thought.

"We have a training room if you would like to practice until Bucky gets here. Release some of the pent up energy you probably have from having to relive some of these things," Bruce offered. I nodded and jumped off of the table. 

"Is there anyone else here that I should know about?" I asked, hoping I would be able to avoid another 'happy' moment. 

"Happy, Rhodey, and Pepper are the only ones that come into this area. I’ll introduce you to all of them before you work out so you won’t be scared if they walk in," Tony offered. 

"Skip Happy," Peter said softly.  Tony turned to Peter.

"Do you want to introduce him instead?"

"No.  It’s just that Dima already met Happy. Dima, do you mind if we show the security footage?" Peter asked. I nodded and pointed at the door. The four of them nodded and I left quickly. I closed the door and slid down the opposite wall, trying to gather myself long enough for Bucky to get here.  I needed to hear his voice, to be able to listen to him.

"Are you alright?" A voice asked.

Chapter Text

I looked up to see a pretty blonde woman crochet in front of me.  I smiled and nodded. 

"Yeah. Just waiting for them to finish the security video that they are watching.  I wasn’t sure if I could experience that again," I responded.  She moved so she was sitting next to me while holding onto a folder. 

"Who is in the room?"

"Peter, Wade, Tony, and Bruce," I listed. "What are you here for?"

"Tony is expecting to meet a HYDRA experiment today.  This file is what we have about the person.  We don’t know much, but it is a start," she offered. I smirked, briefly forgetting why I was outside of the room.

"What does the file say about me?"

"Are you the HYDRA experiment?" She asked.  I nodded. 

"I would say the one and only, but we both know that isn’t true," I joked.  She laughed quietly but looked pained while doing so. 

"It says in our file that you are another ghost story.  Often called the Dark Sunrise. I gotta say, it is a pretty name."

"The Dark Sunrise.  It was a nickname Bucky gave me because people often met me either right before they were killed or right after someone they knew was killed.  I was a beacon of light for those people, according to him at least," I explained.  She smiled softly.

"Did you work with him a lot?"

"Yeah.  I was only meant to have one mission with him but even after being brainwashed, he knew who I was and asked if I was on a mission with him.  I watched him ask one. It was like the second or third time he had done it. He said it so casually I thought that they programmed it into him and that they were showing off what they could do to me if I miss behaved.  At first, everyone was pissed because the mind wiping wasn’t working properly but then they realized that they could use it to their advantage. They could use me to control him.  He steps out of line, I get hurt.  He fights too much, I’m taken away. He always, always goes to shield me. He gives the best hugs. I feel so small and protected. He has held me back by the mack of my shirt a few times like a mama cat and her kittens," I recollected. Her face was towards me but her eyes had shifted to the door. I turned to see Tony and Bruce leaning on the doorway, watching us. 

"So sorry that Happy did that. He is a stickler for badges so I am making one now.  It’s cute, you and Bucky. I'm guessing he will be here in a few hours," Tony stated. I nodded but made no move to get up.

"What did Happy do?" The woman asked.

"Not exactly a warm welcome to Dima, let’s just leave it at that for now," Tony stated, helping her up. "This is Pepper, by the way." I smiled up at them.

"I figured. She didn’t seem like a Rhodey to me.  Nat says hi! I forgot to mention that earlier," I brought up, standing slowly.

"She good?" Pepper asked.  I nodded.

"Speaking of Russian assassins that seem to have adopted you, what did that code word mean?" Tony asked.

"It means I give him a status update.  Tell him everything that has happened and he decided what I am to do next.  For the most part, it is to continue the mission, but sometimes he makes me sleep or do something else," I responded. 

"Do you still want to train or do you want to do something else?" Tony asked. 

"Yeah. I could use a run to get some of the soreness out," I responded, kneading the part of my thigh that was electrocuted earlier.

"We can show you where the gym is," Pepper offered. "it is on the way to the papers that Tony has been avoiding."

"I haven’t been avoiding them," Tony protested. "I have just been purposely distracted so I can not do them." Pepper shook her head and linked her arm with Tony’s, lightly dragging him through the halls.  I followed silently. 

"So, Dima.  I’ve been thinking," Tony started.

"Oh no," Pepper muttered.

"I'm allowed to think! This is totally up to you, but… lightning instead of static discharge?! Technically the same thing but different voltages and sources."

"No, Tony.  You don’t need another lightning-induced power outage," Pepper chided.

"I doubt Bucky would let you but you can ask him," I offered.  "As long as I’m in control of when it happens, I could be shooting out glitter every time I let out a spark." Pepper and Tony stopped in front of a set of French doors and turned to me.

"This is the Gym.  I’ll tell Bucky that you are still in here when he arrives, Tony offered. I thanked him and stepped inside.

Chapter Text

The gym was huge and had a track on a separate level.  I walked up the stairs and stepped up to the starting point of the track.  Taking a deep breath, I began running.  With a lack of a better alternative, I replayed everything in my head.

Bruce saying that he might not be able to fix me.  Happy trying to strangle me. Telling Bucky that I’m broken.  I am completely broken. Unfixable.  Even Bruce agrees. One thing is fixed but then something else comes along to ruin it. My ears began ringing, drowning out the sounds of my feet hitting the track.

The doors slammed shut but I ignored it. Maybe it is someone coming in to use the gym as well. I passed the stair landing and noticed Bucky leaning against the railing. He makes no move to stop me so I keep running. Seeing him brought me back to reality enough to noticed my chest hurting. I felt like I was being stabbed with each passing step. Good. I deserve this. The pain brought a form of comfort stemming from familiarity. I began focusing on the pain.

I noticed Bucky again, this time talking to someone. Something? I didn’t care enough to listen. All I could focus on was the pain. I began wheezing slightly, pushing through to make the pain worse. The ringing became louder and more and more overwhelming. I began crying because of the stabbing. At this point, I couldn’t tell if it was overexertion or if dad’s goons were at it again. I couldn’t even decide which I would prefer. I deserve the hell that I have gone through. I should be happy that I am paying for-

I hit a warm pole. No. Wait, that's an arm. Gasping for air and sobbing violently, I realized that it was Bucky pulling me close and sitting down. I curled into him and clung onto his shirt. He rubbed my back with one hand and held my head so it was pressed into the side of his neck with the other. I could tell that he was talking by the way his chest rumbled but I couldn’t figure out what he was saying. It didn’t matter. I don’t deserve this type of attention. I gathered myself together before I began pushing away from him. He held onto me tighter and continued to talk. I tried to ignore the ringing and listen to what he was saying. Hopefully, he was insulting me for being weak.

"You’re ok. You’re safe. It’s Bucky. Do you need me to control you?" He asked calmly.  I nodded but still fought against him.

"Can you give me a verbal confirmation?"

"Yes. Please do," I responded, voice cracking and shaky. 

"You are under my protection and I will do everything in my power to keep you as mine.  You are meant to serve me and you continue to do so. As long as I am in control, you are to follow my orders." I felt my body fall slack as he said each word.  I moved to sit next to him, my legs to my side and my hands in my lap.  I locked eyes with him, ignoring the tears that were in my eyes. 

"Ready for orders," I deadpanned, a habit from our time with HYDRA.

"Can you hold out your hand for me?" Bucky asked softly. I nodded and held my right hand in front of me and watched as it shook violently.  Bucky gently took my hand and set it back in my lap. 

"Full mission report since last meet up," he ordered softly. 

"Peter introduced Blue, Grey, and Magenta to the colors.  Blue is a non-verbal day. Grey is a need for isolation, and Magenta is experiencing pain. Several shocks in the foot, thigh, and arm. Consumed pancakes and denied syrup and vodka mix. Was confronted by Happy Hogan. Met Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Wade Wilson, and Pepper. Waiting to be introduced to 'Rhodey'. Bruce and Tony deemed the removal of the chip is most likely too dangerous. Will look into reprogramming the chip," I listed softly. He reached up and cradled my face in one of his hands. I leaned into his hand and resisted the urge to close my eyes. 

"Good job. Is there anything else you need to tell me," Bucky asked, wiping away my tears.

"No external intel is useful," I stated, bringing my hands up to keep his hand on my face. He sighed softly and I began to worry that I had disappointed him. My hands sank back down to my lap and my eyes cast downward.

"No, no, Sweetheart, your hands were fine," Bucky assured, moving my hands back to his. "Can you be good for me and tell me what you need?" I whined desperately, not feeling capable of using my voice properly. He moved me so I was sitting on his lap. My hands instantly scrambled to gain purchase on his shirt.

"Come on, Kitten. I can’t help you if you won’t let me." I whined in protest but moved my head so my lips weren’t going to be muffled by his shirt.

"Orders. I- I can’t. Please," I whispered.

"Thank you. You did such a good job. Now I am going to take you to our bedroom and we are going to change clothes," he stated, making everything seem simple. He moved his hands under my legs and back and stood up, taking me with him. I clung too his shirt, burring my face into his chest. He descended the stairs and walked over to a wall. He used one hand to open a door and pulled something out. A cold plastic bottle fell into my lap and my head turned to face it.

"I want you to drink this slowly but be done with it in 2 hours," he demanded.

"Yes, sir," I whispered before opening the bottle and taking a small sip. He smiled at me softly and walked over to the gym’s French doors. They automatically opened, presumably F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s doing and Bucky walked us through.

"Hold out your hand for me," he repeated. I held out my left hand. It was still shaking but not as bad as earlier.

"Better. Now drink." I nodded and opened the bottle again when I heard a new set of footsteps.

"You don’t have to listen to him, Dima," Tony called out. I looked at Bucky, confused. He stopped walking and stared at Tony silently.

Chapter Text

"Yes. They do. Now is there something I can help you with or are you just here to stand around and look pretty?" Bucky sighed. I drank from the water bottle, hoping that Tony was distracted enough to not notice that I was still following the order. 

"They are allowed options.  You can’t control them like that!" Tony insisted. 

"No options," I protested, dropping the water bottle and putting my hands over my ears.  Bucky shushed me and set me down so I was standing next to him. I caught the water bottle as it fell from my lap and held onto it tightly. He held onto my waist and pressed me closer to his side. One hand held onto his arm as I buried my face into his chest.

"That’s right, Sweetie. No options. Only orders. Just like you wanted." I hummed in agreement and let myself relax in his protection. 

"What the hell did you do to them?" Tony yelled, coming closer to us.  Bucky pushed me behind him and growled softly. His hands stayed on my arms, holding me behind him. I reached for a knife on my hip before remembering that Tony wasn’t legitimately trying to hurt me. And that I didn’t actually have a knife on me. I forgot to get one after the plane ride.

"No. Dima is not yours," He spat possessively, shoulders tense and ready to fight. I felt comfortable belonging to Bucky. I don’t think I would like belonging to Tony.

"Oh! And thank you, by the way, for letting them run themselves into an anxiety attack," Bucky spat sarcastically. 

"What do you mean?" Tony asked, backing off slightly. It had seemed that all hatred towards Bucky and me was gone.

"Dima was wheezing and crying when I went up there," Bucky explained, sounding broken. I hurt Bucky again? I can’t keep doing that! I tugged on his sleeve, looking up at him. He turned, still blocking Tony from my view, and faced me.

"What can I help you with, Doll?" Bucky asked softly.

"More orders, please," I requested, wanting to do them correctly and make him proud. 

"We will be done in just a minute. Play with my hand until we are done," He ordered. I nodded and grabbed his left hand. It’s always cold when I first touch it.

"What did you just order?" Tony demanded.

"Nothing of importance," Bucky responded, glaring at Tony. I turned his hand over and traced a few of the metal plates.

"Well, thanks for that well explained answer. Can we talk about what the next step is or no?" Tony asked, seemingly irritated. I closed each of his fingers slowly, smiling to myself. His hand was known for destruction, yet it was so gentle with me.

"Yeah. Let me get Dima settled in with some things and then I would love to discuss," Bucky bargained.  Tony sighed and nodded. I looked up at Bucky, contemplating whether or not I should start the routine? The last time, dad wasn’t happy. He tattooed a HYDRA symbol over the original wires on my thigh.

Dad isn’t here. 

I am safe.

They continued to talk about where they planned to meet up and I let my hand slide down to his wrist and pulled his hand closer.  I kissed the cold metal of his finger toes and closed my eyes, sighing once I reached his thumb. Bucky dragged his thumb across my bottom lip.

I felt secure.

I felt owned.

I felt warm.

"Come on, Kitten. Let’s get you settled in," Bucky encouraged, moving his hand away from my face. I opened my eyes and whined slightly. 

"What happened to that order not being of importance?" Tony asked. "That seemed a little too intimate for a kid."

"Tell him why you did that and why you submit before we go," Bucky ordered, moving to stand behind me. I leaned into him and leaked at Tony.

"Submitting to-"

"English," Bucky corrected.

"Sorry, sir. Growing up, submitting to the Winter Soldier was a form of loyalty to HYDRA but between missions and training, he used it as a way to break away from the mind control. The Winter Soldier was able to have control.  It helped him remember things before HYDRA faster.  They couldn’t use him for missions as much.  For me, it helps curve pain and quiets my brain.  Direct options give my brain a way to have several different trains of thoughts at once. It also helps with remembering to take care of myself.  Being tortured makes you forget that your body needs food and water and sleep and everything else. If he isn’t here and I need to submit, everything gets fuzzy and I get cuddly which goes about as well as you would expect when you are exposed to round the clock torture.  Kissing his fingers typically mean that I am trying to go further into the fuzzy headspace that I am currently in."

"Good job, kiddo," Bucky muttered rubbing my arms gently.  I let out a soft breath and keened into his touch.

"We can discuss this later.  I’m going to let you crazy Russians have- well whatever that is, 'cause I wouldn’t consider that fun," Tony announces before walking away.

"Show me to our room," Bucky ordered. I nodded and took his metal hand in mine, dragging him forward. I retraced the steps that Tony, Pepper, and I took, careful to make my footsteps heard.  I stopped at the door and waited.