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Chapter Text

It was no secret that Jongin and Jimin were close. How could they not be – after all they shared the same job, common interest and the same best friend that wasn’t part of their respective groups?

The two dancers didn’t try to hide the fact that they talked to each other a lot, yet they didn’t shove it into the public’s face either. And that led to many people believing they didn’t actually like each other and only hung out for Taemin’s sake.

When Jongin stumbled upon a tweet stating that exact same thing, he almost thought his eyes would pop out. Just yesterday Taemin had published a photo of their self-proclaimed squad in their matching jackets – everyone was there, Kwonho, Moonkyu and Sungwoon from HotShot, Taemin and, how could it be different, Jimin and Jongin.

“We only ever see Nini and Jimin close when Taemin’s there,” someone nonetheless proclaimed on Twitter. “People are hyping their relationship too much, Jongin literally never pays full attention to Jimin when they meet at award shows.”

At that Jongin couldn’t help but giggle quietly. Oh how wrong these people were… He gave the squad’s maknae more than enough attention, and affection, and hugs, and everything else that was needed to bring a smile to his face.

Jongin had never actively thought about his relationship with Jimin, but now that he did he couldn’t help but smile. Despite the public’s belief, he had fallen for Jimin’s unique charms a long time ago and since then he hadn’t been able to get away from him.

Not that he wanted to – thinking about the squad and Jimin made Jongin happy, and he actually was grateful that the people on Twitter had given him time to reminisce.

Jongin and Jimin were young when they both met. Most people believed Jimin had only recently gotten in touch with Taemin and everyone else, but that wasn’t true. Actually the three of them had been friends for a long time.

When Jongin met Jimin first, the younger still looked like a kid – his cheeks were chubby and his eyes hopeful and he didn’t have quite as much stage presence, but when he performed on stage with his group Jongin couldn’t help but see the potential in the younger singer’s moves and the spark in his eyes that was yet to become a giant fire.

Backstage they bumped into each other and Jimin, blushing profusely, bowed and apologized so many times that Jongin thought he must be getting muscle pains from bending his body so often.

“It’s alright,” he told the boy. “It’s Jimin, right? From Bangtan?”

Jimin, who had frozen as his sunbae had begun to speak, quietly rose to his full height (which wasn’t tall at all), eyes wide and shiny. Jongin couldn’t help but think it would have been fitting if his mouth was hanging open – which it wasn’t.

Jimin just looked so completely thunderstruck that Jongin silently wondered if he had messed up and mistaken the boy for someone else.

Suddenly, though, he broke into a smile and a fascinated Jongin got to watch his eyes turn into crescent moons. He had seen his fair share of eye smiles, but this guy truly had one of the most beautiful ones he had ever witnessed.

“Yes, I’m Jimin,” Jimin responded, still smiling. “Pleased to meet you, Kai-sunbaenim.”

Of course, Jongin thought, Kai-sunbaenim. That sounds so weird.

He shook his head a little and faced Jimin again. The younger must have been a little nervous because he kept fumbling with the hem of his shirt. Jongin couldn’t blame him, though. His group had just made it big and he looked and sounded pretty young. As one of the youngest EXO-members, Jongin knew how overwhelming music shows and award ceremonies could be.

“Please, call me Jongin. And hyung. God, I’m not used to the sunbaenim stuff yet, I feel like it’s been only a week since I debuted with EXO. By the way, which year are you?”

“1995, October,” Jimin spoke.

Jongin raised his brows at his answer.

“Wow, just a year younger than me, technically. I would’ve thought you’d be, like, 1997? But hey, don’t get all arrogant, I’m born in January so I’m almost two years older!”

“Yeah, you’re older, hyung!” Jimin giggled (and Jongin thought his heart skipped a bit or two – this boy was adorable!). “Our maknae, Jungkook-ah, is 1997 actually, but he’s the only one. We only have one other member who’s younger than me, Taehyung-ah, but we’re same aged friends.”

“Oh, that’s the best thing!” Jongin exclaimed, even though he couldn’t really think of faces that matched Jungkook’s or Taehyung’s name. “Taemin-ah – SHINee’s Taemin I mean – was born in 1993 and it’s honestly so cool that we’re the same age. Tao-yah is 1993 too, technically, but he behaves like he’s ten years younger than all of us. It’s kind of funny to think he’s almost the same age as Kyungsoo-hyung.”

“D.O-sunbaenim is…intimidating,” Jimin quietly admitted after he had made sure no one was listening. “I mean, everyone here is…”

“Ah, that’s not true, Jimin-ah!”

Jongin could feel himself getting a little bit flustered. He could not think of himself, or any of his fellow members, as intimidating in any way, but to younger idols they must seem like that. With his SHINee hyungs, Jongin had never felt that way since he was so close to them, but he still froze every time Bigbang walked past them, bowing so deeply that his nose almost touched the ground.

He probably couldn’t blame Jimin.

“I promise Kyungsoo-hyung isn’t as scary as he seems,” Jongin quickly said as to avoid flustering Jimin. “He is just not as good at expressing feeling, especially not when many people are watching. Plus, he has to be fierce, I mean – have you looked at his height?”

He snickered and Jimin opened his mouth, looking a bit scandalized.

“Hyung, does that mean I have to be fierce too? I’m not sure I’m taller than him.”

At the last part Jimin narrowed his eyes and threw a glance at Jongin that was supposed to be fierce. It looked incredibly funny, since there was nothing intimidating about Jimin’s chubby face, but Jongin couldn’t help but be impressed.

He liked this kid for sure. His initial shyness was a sweet trait that made Jongin, who was usually the younger one, want to protect – and now he had proven that he could also be daring and bold.

Apart from that, Jongin had a hunch that one day Jimin would be his rival, a very serious one, as serious as Taemin or Block B’s Yukwon. However, that was just one of the many reasons why Jongin would definitely, definitely become friends with this guy.

At the memory of their first meeting Jongin smiled. Yes, he had definitely become friends with Jimin and as they got closer over the years, they gained more acquaintances until their squad was formed.

Nowadays Jimin was a frequent visitor of EXO’s dorm, at least when there was time left between schedules, training and comeback preparations. Jongin knew they all worked too much – that came with the job – but still, as long as they were able to make small but fond memories along the way, he was okay with it.

“My hyungs are going to kick me out of the group,” Jongin jokingly told Jimin one evening after the younger singer had come to crash at his friend’s room for the third time this week. “You keep eating our food, not even Junmyeon-hyung is rich enough to afford to feed more than nine people and a dog.”

“But Nini-hyung,” Jimin whined, “just pretend I’m your dog or something. I’m cute enough, aren’t I?”

Jongin rolled his eyes at his dongsaeng. When he had first met Jimin the boy had been very timid, but his shyness had kind of dissolved into thin air when they had had gotten to know each other better. Lately, however, Jimin seemed to have acquired a whole new sense of mischievousness, teasing his hyungs whenever he could. Jongin personally blamed it on his newly-bleached hair.

“If you’re my puppy, do I get to order you around? You can do my chores for me, as payment. After all, you’re basically living here at the moment.”

“But puppies don’t do chores, hyung.”

Jimin smiled triumphantly.

“Do you have any dinner from last night left?”

“Oh my god.”

Jongin let out an exasperated groan. In reality, he had planned on eating the last portion of the meat Kyungsoo had deliciously prepared yesterday in front of the TV, on his own. But now he had to take care of his adopted maknae and Jongin wasn’t cruel enough to take away food, especially when it came to cute people. Curse his weak heart.

“I hate you,” Jongin continued to whine even five minutes later, when they had already retreated to the kitchen to heat up the food. “I’m going to become slim and die because you keep eating my food.”

“Not true!” Jimin immediately argued. “Taemin-hyung has been over at your dorm more times than Namjoon has expressed his love for me. And that’s a lot, just saying.”

“Ah, Jimin, what are you doing to us? Bothering your own groupmates too, aren’t you?”

“I’m not bothering, hyung. Well, I may be…sometimes… It’s like – I like walking in on their Vlive-sessions? It’s not my fault Namjoon-hyung called me a fairy?”

Jongin shook his head at the boy who had started to investigate the fridge for more eatable goods made by Kyungsoo. If Jimin was a fairy, he’d be a very cheeky one – weren’t fairies exactly that anyway, though?

Even if Jimin was trying his hardest to be a pain in the ass these days, Jongin would be lying if he said he wasn’t glad for Jimin’s company. EXO’s dorm was exceptionally quiet these days, and with Yixing constantly in China, the CBX members working on something, Kyungsoo filming one of his dramas and the rest of the members doing whatever busy people liked to do, Jongin was alone most of the time.

At first it had been nice – he rarely got any alone time – but after a few days he realized he didn’t cope well with loneliness. Usually when EXO were on break he’d find one way or another to sneak out and meet his SHINee hyungs, but they all seemed to be busy at the moment.

So when BTS had finally gotten off work for a few days, Jimin had become Jongin’s savior from the loneliness. The members who still went back to the dorm every night (Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Sehun) didn’t seem to mind Jimin’s presence all that much – so yes, maybe Jongin had exaggerated a bit earlier.

“Yah, Jongin-hyung, you’re spacing out!” Jimin’s voice cut through Jongin’s thoughts.

For a moment, which Jongin spent blinking confusedly, it was absolutely silent. Then Jimin added something, much more quietly this time.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh? I’m- okay?”

For a moment Jongin didn’t quite know how to answer. He glanced at the microwave where their dinner was spinning and then back at Jimin, who was suddenly looking at him with serious eyes.

“I’m okay,” Jongin repeated, “yeah… Yes, I am, Jimin-ah.”

He laughed.

“Please don’t worry. I just thought about how I am actually really grateful you’re here because I’m bad at being alone. Even if you keep talking shit…”

Of course he couldn’t say such a thing without teasing his dongsaeng at the end. The way Jimin’s serious expression slowly morphed into a grimace when he realized what Jongin had said was just too good to miss out on.

“You’re ruining the mood, hyung,” Jimin pouted. “By the way, if you keep our food in the microwave for a few more minutes, it may explode.”

“Idiot!”

Jongin blushed a bit when he realized he had kind of forgotten about the food and quickly went to turn off the microwave.

“It would not have exploded.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t bet on that, hyung,” Jimin told him as tried to get two plates which had been placed a little too high for him to reached. “Namjoon-hyung once put a glass of Nutella in the microwave to melt it and blue lightning started to appear. Microwaves are very dangerous items.”

“Blue lighting you say, shrimp-ah? Come on, let me help you with the plates, you won’t reach them anyways so why not just stop trying?

“Though, maybe your leader-hyung should tell our managers about his microwave escapade, they are still searching for a way to show us using our superpowers on stage after all these years. Jongdae-hyung would be grateful.”

“He might die, though, I don’t know if he would like that, too,” Jimin retorted as he grabbed the plate with the food. “By the way, superpowers? I get that that was your original concept, but don’t you think it’s kinda old now?”

“Oh believe me, I wish it had died already, but the fans won’t let it go. It’s like we’re damned to deal with our debut sins our entire life.”

 “Yah, hyung, did you ever watch our debut song? Or anything from that era? Sungwoon-hyung once forced me to do that and I almost died. I’m so glad the ‘we’re hip-hop and badass’-phase is over. Don’t you think Blood, Sweat & Tears suits us much better?”

“Nah, that whole concept focuses on that one guy. He’s really short and has silver hair and he keeps revealing his shoulders ‘on accident’.”

“God, hyung, why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you, Jimin-ah,” Jongin replied, blinking innocently. “In fact, I love you, Jimin-ah. Shoooo muchhh.”

He puffed out his cheeks, making the younger dancer who had placed the food on the table groan.

“Go away with your aegyo, hyung, you’re ugly.”

“I’m wounded.”

“You shouldn’t be. You just said you didn’t like me in Blood, Sweat & Tears, so it’s your own fault.”

Suddenly a smirk made its way onto Jimin’s face and Jongin immediately knew he was up to something.

“By the way, Nini-hyung, remember that interesting song you once released? It’s my personal favorite. Awoooo!”

Jimin mimicked Jongin’s part in wolf (he did it surprisingly well, too) and Jongin immediately jumped up from his chair, dashing towards the younger singer while screaming.

“Run, Park Jimin, run! You’ll deeply regret this! Run or I’ll smash you with my awesome and very real superpowers!”

(Their wild race ended with Jimin bumping into a chair, making it fall over and chipping off a part of one of the tiles that covered the floor. After a long discussion, the two dancers placed a small and very ugly vase on the broken tile, hoping no one would find out about it.)

At the thought of the broken tile in their living room, Jongin smiled a little. When Junmyeon had discovered it half a year he had immediately thought it was Sehun’s fault, since the maknae had dropped a bottle of wine in the kitchen a few days earlier. Since no one had known any better, Jongin had kept his and Jimin’s little accident to himself and patted the maknae’s back sympathetically as he went to complete his penalty of cleaning everyone’s rooms.

However, the broken tile wasn’t the only sign of Jimin’s regular visits to the EXO dorm. There were other things, little items like a toothbrush in the drawer of Jongin’s nightstand or a pair of fuzzy socks Junmyeon kept in the hallway along with many other pairs – it definitely wasn’t a rare occurrence that Jimin would visit when both EXO and BTS were free.

Sometimes he even brought one or two of his groupmates – it was Taehyung most of the time – but in the end Jimin was the Bangtan member who visited most often.

And Jongin was happy about that. Lately he had been realizing how much his friendships meant to him and how much he needed to be close to people, whether they were part of his group or not. And if those persons that helped him were as cute and easy-going as Jimin was, he really couldn’t help but feel thankful for their presence in his life.

Fans, thought Jongin as he closed the tweet that had caused him to start reminiscing in the first place. After all they don’t know us like we do.

Most people only saw what was caught by the cameras, what Jongin decided to show them. So in the end they couldn’t judge – they didn’t know Kim Jongin had been whipped for Park Jimin for the longest time.

Chapter Text

Usually Chanyeol was prepared for his job. Whether it was performing on stage, posing in front of a camera or presenting various artists as an MC, he knew what to do and normally completed his tasks effortlessly.

However, sometimes fate just wasn’t on his side. Sometimes life liked to throw things at him, unexpected things, that made him lose his balance for a while – and that was when he was at the risk of screwing up.

Chanyeol didn’t get into trouble a lot, but when he did it was usually bad and pretty embarrassing, so he feared those times more than anything else.

The day he met Park Jimin, Chanyeol already had a hunch something was going to go wrong. At first everything seemed to be more than alright. He was on MC duty with SHINee’s Minho, who he got along with quite well, so he was actually kind of excited.

The two idols were supposed to talk to Minho’s groupmate Taemin and Jimin from BTS, who had been preparing a stage together.

In the car taking him to the location, Chanyeol rehearsed his text. He knew he would only have to do short interviews and it would probably come as easily to him as usual, but he still liked to be prepared. It gave him a feeling of security if he knew what was coming.

Things started going downhill when Chanyeol’s car got stuck in traffic and the driver told him they would end up being late. That was when Chanyeol first started to feel like today wouldn’t be good. He finally arrived at the building 45 minutes after he had been supposed to and quickly hurried to his dressing room, almost getting lost because he was being so frantic. As if the whole world was against him today, the make-up-noona took extra-long to make his face look presentable today and when Chanyeol was finally good to go, he realized it was almost time for them to start their interviews.

On normal days Chanyeol would introduce himself to the people around him first, making small-talk and getting to know them a bit so their talks on camera would run more smoothly. However, today wasn’t normal and Chanyeol barely made it into the room before the cameras started rolling, focusing on the two dancers who stood between Minho and him.

Chanyeol barely had any time to even glance at them. He quickly began to introduce them, luckily knowing his text by heart by now (at least he didn’t forget what he was supposed to say). They talked a bit about the stage Taemin and Jimin, now nicknamed 2min much to Minho’s dismay, had prepared before letting them voice out their thoughts and say words of encouragement to each other.

And that was when it happened – that was when life threw Park Jimin at Chanyeol, making him stumble and fall so hard that suddenly he had no idea what he was doing. His mind was simply blank.

It wasn’t like Chanyeol had never seen Jimin before. After all the younger was quite close to Jongin and they would secretly hang out backstage at award shows, unseen by the cameras. However, the very second Chanyeol looked down onto the dancer standing next to him was the one Jimin decided to look up – and smile.

And damn, Chanyeol had never seen someone smile like this before.

It was like someone had turned on a light, a very bright one that actually rivalled the sun. Chanyeol felt his mouth go dry as he stared at Jimin, unable to keep his own lips from morphing into a smile.

He felt laughter build up in his stomach and break out of his mouth, but he didn’t know where it came from. Everything was really bright all of a sudden and he felt like he was drifting away from reality.

What is this? he wondered in amazement. What is it with this person’s smile?

Again he focused on Jimin, the only person whose outline was as clear as ever. Everything else was fuzzy and Chanyeol felt his cheeks heat up because some part of him knew he was embarrassing himself, yet the feeling of humiliation was too far away, like it wasn’t real.

His mind was still blank, he couldn’t remember the sentences he had rehearsed.

“Why are you laughing so much?” Chanyeol heard himself mutter from far away, his tongue clumsy and his voice cracking.

Jimin replied something he couldn’t make out, but the smile never left his face.

He is beautiful, Chanyeol managed to think as he tried to take in every single detail of Jimin’s beaming face. Mesmerizing, astonishing… I want to see him dance, I need to see him dance.

At that point, he was aware he was making a fool of himself in front of the camera, but he didn’t care. This moment, this trance Jimin had put him in felt too special, almost too good to be true and he didn’t want it to stop.

Chanyeol’s head was swimming with thoughts he couldn’t pierce together and his cheeks were crimson by now, all thanks to the small person in front of him who was still smiling like the sun.

He is an angel, Chanyeol realized somewhere at the back of his mind. That must be it. There is no way he is from this world, not when he can make people feel like this with a single smile.

In his life he had had his fair share of moments when he had seriously been questioning the realness of some people – he had heard Jongdae sing after all, of course he had asked if the older singer was even human with that angelic voice of his – but no one had hit Chanyeol quite the way Jimin had just now.

It was like a switch had been flipped and suddenly he couldn’t help but notice just how amazing the younger boy was. Even long after their interview had ended, Chanyeol found himself following Jimin’s steps with his eyes and even trailing along behind him.

Every time he realized what he was doing he would duck away, hiding his embarrassed face somewhere (preferably in the fabric Minseok’s stage outfit, since EXO CBX were there as well). However, in the end he always ended up doing the same as before – watching Jimin.

Needless to say Chanyeol loved Taemin’s and Jimin’s performance. It was weird for him to feel so flustered over two other male idols, especially as he had known Taemin for such a long time.

Nonetheless, it was quite clear to everyone that the main reason Chanyeol wouldn’t shut up about 2016’s KBS Song Festival was Jimin.

On New Year’s Eve, Jongin generously told Chanyeol he could give him Jimin’s number, since his hyung seemed to like the dancer so much, but the rapper refused with flaming red cheeks. In all honesty, he was absolutely embarrassed by the things Jimin had done to him.

Chanyeol was aware he was acting like a complete fool, but for some reason he couldn’t stop behaving like a high school girl who had just gotten her first crush.

Throughout the first weeks of 2017 Chanyeol refused to try anything to get in touch with Jimin, even though he kind of – desperately – wanted to talk to him again deep inside. However, he had sworn he would keep what was left of his composed image and wouldn’t make a fool of himself again.

Of course, he didn’t succeed with his plan. At the end of January, the annual ISAC event was held and of course Chanyeol was there at the same time as Jimin was. A part of the rapper wanted to bury himself in the ground when he first spotted the younger dancer with his group, but another part of him actually felt excited.

The last time he had seen Jimin they hadn’t really gotten the chance to talk alone, but maybe they could do that today, if Chanyeol didn’t randomly combust from being flustered.

“Hey, Chanyeol-ah.”

Chanyeol was nudged by Junmyeon, who was participating in the event as well. When he had successfully drawn the rapper’s attention to him, EXO’s leader smiled knowingly at the younger.

“Bangtan are here, have you seen?”

“I know, hyung,” Chanyeol replied as he tried to seem as indifferent as possible.

However, it was like Junmyeon could stare past his facial expression and right into his brain where his most secret thoughts were hidden.

“You should go talk to Jimin or you’ll regret not doing it later. Today’s your chance!”

He showed Chanyeol thumbs-up, but the taller man just groaned.

“But hyung, I can’t just go there. We didn’t even talk. It’s just- There’s something fascinating about him. He’s a bit like a fairy because he’s quite small, but then again his stage presence is like…damn. Just imagine Nini, but mixed with Minseok-hyung? I don’t know, what am I even saying?

“See hyung, that’s why I won’t go. I’ll just embarrass myself.”

“Chanyeol-ah!”

Oh no, Chanyeol thought. Here we go again. Junmyeon is using his “dad”-voice.

“Of course you will go and say hello!” the leader strictly ordered. “Jimin might think you don’t remember him if you don’t. Or he might think you are being impolite!”

“Oh god,” Chanyeol muttered.

He definitely didn’t want that. Maybe he should actually go and say hello – what was the worst thing that could happen, after all?

“Come on, Chanyeol-ah, you can do this!”

Junmyeon vehemently pushed Chanyeol towards where Jimin was hanging out at the moment, which might have looked funny since the leader was much shorter than his group member. Chanyeol sincerely hoped the cameras didn’t catch them.

“Go, Chanyeol-ah, fighting!” Junmyeon kept cheering him on as he hesitantly took a few steps into the right direction. “Go somewhere without many cameras! And if it goes well, bring him over later, I wanna see if you were right about his presence!”

The short singer flashed one last smile at Chanyeol before hurrying off to find Sehun, who was the third member participating. Meanwhile Chanyeol started to walk towards where Jimin was standing with his members.

In his head the rapper already tried to think of what to say. Wouldn’t it be awkward if the rest of BTS was around? But it would also seem strange if he asked Jimin to go somewhere else, right? How should he even initiate a conversation?

He glanced at Jimin and his friends nervously and – since Chanyeol was a very lucky guy – the dancer looked up at that second, catching his gaze. For a moment everything seemed to freeze. Chanyeol could feel his face growing hot, again, and the tips of his elf-like ears were probably glowing as well.

Jimin just stood there like a statue. His aura wasn’t as noticeable as the last time they had met, but it was still enough to throw Chanyeol off and make him unable to form any words in his head.

The time they kept standing there staring at each other seemed to drag on forever, but finally Chanyeol took a deep breath and raised his hand shyly, waving at Jimin.

Of course the younger man broke into a huge smile that made Chanyeol feel very weak for a second and waved back. Ignoring his pounding heart, EXO’s rapper took a deep breath and quickly cleared the distance of a few meters that was still separating him from Jimin.

“Hi,” he breathed out when he finally reached the other idol. “Hello Jimin-ah.”

“You actually remember me?”

Jimin’s eyes went wide, much like they did during the interview, and Chanyeol spluttered a little but kept listening intently nonetheless.

“I kinda thought you’d have forgotten about me. I mean, you seem like a very busy hyung and…”

Suddenly Jimin stopped mid-sentence before slapping a hand over his mouth and dropping into a crouching-position so fast that Chanyeol could barely follow with his eyes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he managed to make out the muffled words Jimin was speaking against his hand, “that was so disrespectful, sunbaenim. I shouldn’t have called you hyung like that, I swear it’s never happened to me before, please forgive me…”

Hearing his frantic apologies, Chanyeol couldn’t help but giggle quietly.

“It’s okay, Jimin-ah,” he sheepishly smiled down at the other boy. “You’re more than welcome to call me hyung. I’d kinda prefer it if you did anyway, sunbaenim is such a…distant term…”

…and I wanna get closer to you, his mind added.

Luckily, he didn’t accidentally voice those thoughts out loud. He didn’t have time to do that anyway, though, since Jimin slowly got up again, smiling at Chanyeol.

“I’m glad, Chanyeol-hyung,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Aishh, this is so embarrassing, I just hope no one noticed. My members would tease me forever!”

“It’ll be fine! Members can be so difficult sometimes; I have so much experience with that. Junmyeon-hyung only orders us around these days, Jonginie never talks to me anymore and Kyungsoo has been ignoring me for years even though I officially declared him my favourite member and gave him a paper crown that I made myself.”

Chanyeol pouted a bit, yet he was quick to smile again when Jimin laughed heartily.

“Aww, hyung, I’m sorry. You probably put a lot of love into making that…paper crown. But hey, can’t I be your favorite member? You didn’t say which group we were talking about after all? I will never ignore you, I promise, and I’m a great dongsaeng.”

When Chanyeol just raised his eyebrows, Jimin quickly added, “if Jongin-hyung said anything bad about me, he’s lying. He’s just mad Sungwoon-hyung keeps making him pay for our food.”

“Oh, so that’s why he’s so sulky these days. He’s being a real brat towards all of us.”

“Aishh, I’m so gonna tell Taemin-hyung you said that.”

Jimin and Chanyeol kept talking for quite a long while until the younger dancer had to go back to his group. Chanyeol didn’t let him go without getting his number and making him promise to visit him later first – he still couldn’t believe that he had actually mustered up enough courage to talk to the idol he had kind of been crushing on since they had first met.

He definitely wouldn’t let Jimin go again, not when it seemed like they could actually grow close.

Heading back towards where he had last seen Junmyeon, Chanyeol felt his chest fill with a pleasant warm feeling. A smile made its way onto his lips when he thought about his conversation with Jimin.

There was something about the younger singer that had absolutely bewitched. It almost felt like Jimin was drawing him in like a magnet – he had Chanyeol whipped without even trying to.

“Why are you whistling, hyung?” Sehun’s voice with its familiar lisp suddenly rang out to Chanyeol and the tall rapper stopped on his tracks.

“Ah, there you are, little brat. Where did you leave our grandpa-hyung?”

“Watch your mouth, Park Chanyeol! I can hear you!” Junmyeon’s indignant shout followed a second later and Chanyeol snickered.

He wanted to say thanks to his hyung for pushing him to talk to Jimin, but teasing their leader was just too fun sometimes.

“So, did you do what I told you to do?” Junmyeon, being the caring (and nosy) dad he was, immediately inquired once he and Sehun had reached Chanyeol. “Did you talk to him? Did you ask him to come over to us later?”

“What’s going on?” Sehun stepped in. “I want part in this, too! Don’t leave me out.”

Ignoring the maknae’s complaints completely, Chanyeol turned to Junmyeon with a wide smile.

“I got his number,” he shyly reported. “We talked quite a bit. Oh my god, Junmyeon-hyung, you have no idea how adorable he is! He got so flustered when he accidentally called me hyung instead of sunbaenim, I thought I was gonna die right then and there!

“Imagine Tao but minus any brattiness and plus infinite natural aegyo!”

“Yah, are we talking about Jimin from Bangtan!? Chanyeol’s crush?”

Sehun smirked at his older member, but Chanyeol didn’t even care that he had failed to keep his little outburst to himself. At this moment he just wanted to share the perfection that was Park Jimin with everyone – and Junmyeon of all people did indeed need some more positivity in his life.

“I’m glad it went so well, Chanyeol-ah,” the leader smiled warmly and Chanyeol was incredibly grateful that the short singer didn’t even think about teasing him about his crush. “You seem very content. I’m excited to talk to him later, after everything you just told us.”

“It’s not fair Chanyeol-hyung gets to make so many friends when I don’t,” Sehun whined quietly, having given up on teasing his hyung apparently. “I’m the loneliest idol ever.”

Junmyeon shook his head with a smile and ruffled Sehun’s hair, which looked funny considering the maknae was almost taller than Chanyeol.

“You’re just fine, Sehun-ah. It’s okay to be introverted – Chanyeol is incredibly good at making friends, but that doesn’t make him better than you. Once people get to know you, most realize you’re a really sweet person.”

“Hyuunggg,” Sehun whined, but Junmyeon brushed him off.

“Let’s go to the place where the archery event will be held. We should mentally prepare ourselves – we have to win for our members and our dear EXO-Ls.”

The three EXO members spent a lot of time mindlessly hanging around that day, waiting for their turn to compete against other idol groups. However, Chanyeol didn’t look forward to the archery event as much as he looked forward to seeing Jimin again.

When he spotted the dancer approaching, a smile spread on his face and he waved from where he was sitting on the ground with Junmyeon, happily stretching out a welcoming hand towards Jimin.

The dancer took it and Chanyeol’s heart fluttered a tiny bit as Jimin went to crouch down.

“Hi hyung, I’m back again.”

Junmyeon’s head immediately turned and his eyes became a bit wider as he eyed Jimin.

“Pleased to meet you, Jimin-ssi,” he said as he bowed his head. “I’m EXO’s leader, Kim Junmyeon. Please feel free to call me hyung.”

“Okay, hyung,” Jimin giggled quietly, “I’m Bangtan’s Jim- Aishh, what am I saying? I’m so awkward today, I sincerely apologize!”

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Junmyeon and Chanyeol told him in unison.

The elder of the two then added, “you must be very tired, I believe your group is just as busy as ours. Did you compete already?”

While talking to Jimin that afternoon, Chanyeol learned another thing about the dancer – he loved physical contact. Actually, it seemed to be more than that. It seemed to make him bloom like a flower in spring, and as much as Chanyeol hated himself for making such disgustingly cheesy comparisons, he couldn’t find any words that would fit better.

The rapper himself adored everything about Jimin. He was especially happy when the younger nonchalantly cuddled up to his legs. His members would rarely show him their affection in such a physical way and if he initiated any contact, he was lucky if he didn’t get hit in most cases (and no, he was definitely not only talking about Kyungsoo).

However, when Chanyeol put an arm around Jimin’s shoulders, which were adorably small by the way, the younger would scoot closer to him and smile one of the smiles that made Chanyeol fall hard.

When the long day of waiting and finally competing at archery was finally over, Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel incredibly giddy, even though they had lost and disappointed their fans. Both Junmyeon and Sehun had been a bit depressed because of the result of the competition, but Jimin had cheered them up with kind words of encouragement and now that they were piled up in a car and on their way back to the dorm, they all felt better about their failure.

“You still texting Jimin-ah?” Junmyeon asked Chanyeol from the backseat, not being able to suppress a loud groan of tiredness.

Chanyeol confirmed his hyung’s suspicion with a simple nod – since the event had ended, he hadn’t stopped texting his new friend, mostly because he couldn’t get over the fact that he had found someone who used the same excessive amount of emojis as he did.

“You know,” Junmyeon mumbled as he shifted in his seat until he was comfortably sitting with his head resting against the window, “you can bring him over to our dorm anytime you want. I’d be delighted to see him.”

That was when Chanyeol realized he wasn’t the only person enchanted by Jimin’s charms – his leader had been hit just as badly and thinking about it, Jongin probably wasn’t much better.

Therefore, when EXO’s second maknae went up to him with a sly smirk the next day and began to tease him about the videos of him and Jimin that were all over Twitter, Chanyeol only smiled at him.

“I know you’ve fallen under his spell, too, Nini-yah, don’t bother to deny it. Jimin-ah has this certain way of making people whipped for him. But don’t worry, your little secret will be kept safely by Junmyeon-hyung and me.”

Chapter Text

Kim Jongdae was usually a creative guy. It came with his job as a singer and additionally he always knew how to shoot back the most savage answers if someone had the audacity to tease him. He was an entertainer, much like Baekhyun but in a different way, and he was proud of it.

However, there were days when even Jongdae’s creativity reached its limit. And right now, EXO-M’s main vocalist was facing a dilemma.

“C’mon, Jongin-ah, don’t leave your hyung hanging like this,” Jongdae whined for the tenth time as he grasped Jongin’s hand tightly, unwilling to let the younger man go. “I really need your help right now.”

“I know,” Jongin sighed while trying to free himself from his hyung’s tight grip, “but I already told you I don’t have time right now. I’m visiting my family and my babies now, and no one can stop me.”

Usually Jongdae would immediately have used the chance of teasing his dongsaeng about calling his dogs ‘babies’ (seriously, he was barely legal – why did he keep making it sound like he had kids already?), but right now he had far greater problems that kept him from getting a good laugh at Jongin’s expense.

“Seriously, Jongin-ah, I won’t survive without you,” he dramatically announced in a futile attempt to change the dancer’s mind. “Do you want to be the death of your hyung?”

When Jongin didn’t react, Jongdae leaned forward and secretively whispered, “hey, hey, I know you’re on a diet right now, but if you help me I’ll buy you any snack you want.”

“Anything?”

For a moment Jongin’s eyes lit up and Jongdae internally let out a triumphant cry, but then the younger EXO member shook his head decisively.

“No, I’m sorry, hyung, you can’t bribe me like that today. Please let me go, I told my family I’d be there in half an hour.”

“But Kaiiiii…”

Realizing his attempts had all been pointless, Jongdae let go of the dancer’s hand with another sigh before dropping to the ground theatrically to show he had accepted his defeat.

“Go, young fella,” he mumbled into the carpet which smelt like strawberries for some odd reason. “Please remember me when I’m gone. I’ve always been a nice hyung.”

“C’mon, Jongdae-hyung, stop sulking.”

Jongin actually had the audacity to poke Jongdae with a toe, but the elder was too caught up in his act to scold him for it.

“Go to the dance studio and start practicing on your own for now,” the younger advised as he turned towards the door. “Maybe I’ll come by later if I still have time after getting some fresh air with my babies.”

After that he was gone and Jongdae was left alone on the ground in an empty dorm. That was when he realized he had a problem.

The thing was, he should have seen it coming. He actually could have prevented this, if he had used his brain when he had been invited to the wedding of an old family friend and asked to be the dance partner of the maid of honor.

If he had used his common sense, he would have realized much sooner that while he and that girl would certainly make a beautiful pair, Jongdae, the world-famous vocalist of EXO, did not know how to dance.

Or at least, he was quite sure he couldn’t just start performing the choreography of ‘Wolf’ in the middle of the dance floor.

However, Jongdae had been quite busy lately, which was why he had forgotten about the wedding until his mother had called him three days ago to ask what he would be wearing. The conversation had resulted in him frantically dragging a confused Minseok and a sleepy Sehun to one of the biggest shopping malls in Seoul and running around until he had found a suit that would match his dance partner’s dress.

His attire had only been a small problem, though, at least compared to what he was facing now. There was one week left until the wedding, a week full of schedules and music show attendances, and Jongdae still didn’t know how to dance.

Naturally he had sought out Jongin after realizing he had screwed up, but the younger had straight up declined when he had asked for his help. With all of the other members busy and Yixing far away in China, Jongdae had no idea what to do.

It wasn’t like he was looking forward to the dance either. However, he certainly didn’t want to embarrass himself and his partner, so he grumpily made his way to the SM building anyway.

Maybe he would find a helpful tutorial somewhere on the internet.

An hour passed until Jongdae had successfully made it to the dance practice room, equipped with a coffee but lacking the required motivation. He knew he had to do something, but he absolutely wasn’t in the mood for dancing right now.

It would have been a different thing if Jongin was here with him. Jongdae was a very social guy and working with others motivated him, but that also meant that he didn’t really get the job done on his own, especially when it came to dancing.

After another half hour Jongdae had successfully changed into more comfortable training clothes and sulkily chosen a song that he thought would work for now.

What dances are you even supposed to know at a wedding? he wondered, right when he heard footsteps outside the room that seemed to be approaching. With a frown, Jongdae looked at the clock.

It had only been two hours at maximum since he had last spoken to Jongin, so it would make no sense for the younger to be here already.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Jongdae started, even though he should have seen it coming.

“Who’s there?” he asked with a frown.

There was a short pause before the door slowly opened and a small figure stepped into the room, their steps careful and hesitant. The person was wearing a hood and a face mask which made it impossible for Jongdae to look at, let alone recognize their face.

The vocalist swallowed hard against the lump in his throat which had suddenly formed. Was he being kidnapped?

“Who are you?” he inquired again, attempting to make his own voice sound stronger than he was feeling.

The person jumped at the sound of his voice, much like Jongdae had done before, and looked up.

“Oh, pardon my intrusion, I’m sorry for barging in like this,” the figure said and even though their words were muffled by their mask, the high pitch of their voice sounded very familiar to Jongdae.

“Good afternoon, Chen-sunbaenim,” the person hastily added at the end and suddenly Jongdae knew who had come to visit him.

He almost laughed out loud when the realization struck him – how had he been scared? There was absolutely nothing threatening about the stranger right in front of him.

“Bangtan’s Jimin!” Jongdae greeted the other man with a smile. “What on earth are you doing here?”

Jimin’s posture relaxed a little when he noticed the change in the elder man’s demeanor, but he still seemed a little nervous as he began to explain.

“Well, Jonginie-hyung called me and said you needed someone to practice dancing with. And I was free, so I thought – why not?”

He added a smile after his last sentence and Jongdae couldn’t help returning it. In that moment, he was incredibly grateful to have Jongin as a dongsaeng – of course the younger could be a brat, but sometimes he turned into a life-saving angel.

“Gosh, you have no idea how relieved I am, Jimin-ssi!” Jongdae breathed out. “I had no idea where to start on my own and already started planning my funeral since I was sure I was gonna die out of shame next week. But now that you’re here…

“You know normal dances, right? Like waltz and stuff?”

“Yeah, I took those classes too for a while when I was in highschool, Chen-sunbaenim,” Jimin politely explained as he bowed his head. “Don’t worry, though, I still know quite a lot. I’m sure I’ll be able to help you.”

Jongdae felt his grin grow even wider as he stretched out his hand to pat Jimin on his shoulder.

“I’m sure, too, you must be an amazing dancer if even Taemin-ah doesn’t shut up about your skills. By the way, feel free to call me hyung. I don’t really feel like I deserve to be called sunbaenim.”

As an afterthought, he quickly added, “also, if you want, I’ll take you out for dinner later. You can get anything you want, I’ll treat you.”

“Ah, thanks hyung, you’re too generous!”

Jimin shook his head slightly as he finally looked up from the ground to meet Jongdae’s eyes properly.

“I haven’t even helped you yet.”

“But now you will! Are we gonna start right away?”

“Of course. First, we need a song, or did you choose a fitting one already?”

As shy as he had seemed before, the moment things started to get serious Jimin’s behavior changed completely. Suddenly Jongdae noticed an aura of quiet confidence oozing off the younger as he went over to the stereo system with light and graceful steps.

The elder idol couldn’t feel anything but admiration as he watched Jimin completely take the lead and turn from a shy boy into a confident dance coach.

“I’ll dance the woman’s part, since you need to learn the man’s steps,” Jimin explained to Jongdae as he took his hands and placed one of them on his lower back. “You’re not really tall, so you should consider wearing insoles, depending on how tall your partner will be. For now it’s okay, though, I’m short myself.”

It didn’t take Jongdae long to notice that Jimin wasn’t only short, but also seemed really light and skinny. His statue reminded the singer of Minseok a lot, but when he gripped his waist more tightly as they started to dance, he couldn’t help but notice the lack of muscles under the shirt Jimin was wearing.

Due to his petite statue, it was easy for Jongdae to actually imagine dancing with a woman, though. When the music started he started swaying lightly, smiling a content smile when he knew he had found the right rhythm.

This actually doesn’t seem as difficult as I imagined, he thought.

“Okay, I’m going to count to three two times and then we’ll start,” Jimin commanded. “Just move your feet like I just showed you and you’ll be fine. We’ll work on your style and posture later when you’ve got the steps down.”

“Don’t you worry, Jimin-ah, I’m ready!” Jongdae exclaimed in a carefree manner, swaying his hips just a little more.

This would be a piece of cake with a teacher as amazing as Jimin was.

At least, that was what Jongdae assumed – until they actually started moving. That was when he realized he was in big trouble. It didn’t take him longer than two second to step onto Jimin’s feet for the first time and even though the younger didn’t acknowledge his mistake in the slightest, Jongdae couldn’t help but jump.

He quickly tried to remember where he was supposed to put his feet, but the harder he tried to concentrate the more confused he became. Why were Jimin’s feet already at another place when he hadn’t even taken in their first position yet?

When the younger man moved, it seemed effortless, but now Jongdae knew it wasn’t – or at least, it didn’t use to be.

He stood still, giving up on his futile attempts to move his feet right.

“I’m sorry, Jimin-ah, I’m hopeless. Your feet must hurt already.”

“Ah, don’t worry, hyung, you’re not as bad as you think,” Jimin quickly comforted him. “I’ve had my fair share of partners before and I danced with our group’s leader, Namjoon-hyung – it can’t get worse than that. You just have to concentrate at the beginning and keep hitting the beats, then you’ll be fine.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Jongdae whined, “but you’re, like, a dance genius. This feels like every time Nini tries to teach us his impossibly hard choreographies. Only you are much nicer and more patient than him.”

Jimin giggled quietly at the compliments he had just received and when Jongdae looked down, he could see a cute pinkish blush coat the dancer’s cheeks. He looked adorable, his eyes resembling crescent moons as he smiled.

“Let’s get on with practice, hyung, or you might still not be able to dance after today.”

____________________

During the next few hours, Jongdae learned that while Jimin was patient and kind as a teacher, he was also ambitious. The younger didn’t give him any breaks until he was able to dance through an entire song without misplacing his feet once, and by then Jongdae was sure he was dying.

“I never knew traditional dance would be this exhausting,” he sighed as he flopped onto the floor like a bag of rice when Jimin had finally given his okay.

The dancer, who had been practicing some kind of contemporary routine before, halted mid-movement.

“You still have a long way to go, hyung, there’s more dances than slow waltz.”

“Ughh, nooo, I’m gonna die.”

“No, please don’t do that, I don’t know CPR.”

At Jimin’s pointed answer, a giggle escaped Jongdae’s mouth.

“Imagine the headline: Bangtan’s main dancer kills EXO member – what happened in the practice room? After all, both the media and our fans desperately keep searching for a sign that EXO and BTS are actually archenemies.”

“Hyung,” Jimin said as he finally sat down beside Jongdae, voice suddenly serious. “I really hate you.”

“Aishh, don’t say that, Jimin-ah, I might cry. I’m gonna tell Jongin you were mean to me.”

“Oh,” Jimin snickered quietly, “he won’t mind. He told me to work you hard. By the way, do you want to know the real reason I’m helping you today?”

“Wait, it isn’t because you’re a selfless angel who likes to bless others?”

“He promised to go to Taeyang-sunbaenims concert with me. He also said you were gonna pay for our tickets.”

“Oh my god, he’s such a punk!” Jongdae exclaimed as he teared at his hair in mocked despair. “How am I gonna pay for dinner tonight? How am I gonna live? Taeyang-nim is fucking expensive!”

“Hey, you can go with us, hyung. That way you’ll benefit from spending so much money, too.”

“Maybe. I’ll kill off Jongin, hide his body in Kyungsoo’s closet and take his spot. No one will suspect me to be the murderer anyway.”

“Wah, you’re so mean, hyung.”

The two continued chattering like that for quite a while and the more exhausted they grew because of all the dancing they did, the sillier became the topics. When they finally wrapped up and got ready to head out, Jongdae felt like he had gotten high of oxygen.

“Yah, Jimin-ah, come have dinner with me now,” he demanded as he threw an arm around the younger boy’s shoulders. “I earned it well, didn’t I?”

To his own surprise, Jimin stiffened under his weight, though, bowing his head as if he was unsure about what to do.

“I don’t know, hyung,” he reluctantly said, “it’s late, I should probably head home. I’m not too hungry anyway and…”

“Bullshit! You just danced for five hours – you can’t tell me you aren’t hungry! C’mon, Jimin-ah, I’ll treat you. You won’t always find hyungs that are as kind as I am.”

“But-“

“Stop with the ‘but’s now, we’re going, it’s decided. There’s a place across the street that has really delicious ramen.”

“Okay, okay.”

Jimin let out a defeated sigh and Jongdae, happy with his accomplishment, pulled him closer, which made the younger squeal.

“Ew, hyung, you’re all gross and sweaty! Go away!”

“Ah, I’ll be your stinky hyung, Jimin-ah,” Jongdae sang, “and I love you sooo much.”

Later Jongdae realized two things. Firstly, that it had been a while since he had last enjoyed any kind of dancing this much. And secondly, that Park Jimin was really a special guy by all means.

Chapter Text

Despite what many people may have believed, all of EXO’s members were actually close with each other. Building relationships was just something that came along the way of living, working, and spending almost all of your days with the same persons, whether it was in your free time or during schedules.

Of course, everyone had favorites and in a group that big, that wasn’t a bad thing. No one judged Luhan for doting on Minseok the most, no one hated Chanyeol when he once again tried to get Kyungsoo to show affection towards him.

Baekhyun himself was proud to say he gravitated between the members. His presence was a floating one that would end up by Sehun’s side one day and by Junmyeon’s the other – you could kind of say he was the glue holding their group together, and it was something Baekhyun was usually satisfied with.

However, being someone who only picked temporary favorites came with being lonely sometimes, and some days it meant that Baekhyun felt like he didn’t belong, not by his members’ sides, nowhere.

He hated those days. They made him feel like he was going crazy on the inside, but every time he tried to voice out his thoughts all that came out were petty complaints and sassy remarks, which in return made the members unwilling to put up with him.

The more stressed Baekhyun was, the less he felt like he belonged. During tours it started to show behind the scenes but only in rare moments since he liked to hide it from the cameras. After one particularly long period of time they had spent promoting, Baekhyun wanted nothing more than to go home, rest well and give his brain a break from all the work to help his thoughts calm down.

It seemed like his wish wouldn’t be granted, though, since the day they finished their promotions Jongdae decided to throw a party at their dorm and Baekhyun woke up with a headache the next morning, feeling more unsettled than ever before.

A glance at the clock on his nightstand confirmed it was already 12 o’clock and that made Baekhyun groan. Both Junmyeon and Kyungsoo hated when a member didn’t turn up for breakfast because they were sleeping in. However, since his mentality wasn’t in the best state right now, he figured he kind of deserved the additional rest.

As he lazily rolled around in his bed for a few minutes, not motivated enough to actually get up, Baekhyun became overly aware of the hollowness in his chest. He felt weird, like something was missing.

Of course, it would be an overstatement to call that emotion sadness – it wasn’t that bad. The feeling was more of a lingering aftertaste at the back of his mouth that wouldn’t go away not matter how many times he swallowed.

This wasn’t going to be a good day, and Baekhyun knew it. For a moment, he lay absolutely still as he reminded himself to keep his sharp tongue under control – whenever he felt this weird, it was easy for him to lash out on someone and that could ruin his whole day, depending on who it was.

Finally, Baekhyun forced himself to get up and slowly walk towards the bathroom that was adjoined to the room. He shivered when his feet made contact with the cool and smooth surface of the floor, which was no wonder – he was only wearing a t-shirt and some sweatpants after all.

Of course, he could have just opened one of the drawers in the wardrobe right next to him and put on a sweater, but Baekhyun realized he would like a hug better. Therefore, he turned on his heels and decided to head to the living room instead, just to see who was up for some cuddling.

The first thing he noticed was that the doors of Minseok’s and Junmyeon’s rooms were wide open and when he looked into them, he found the rooms vacant. His hyungs had apparently tidied them up and now that he had noticed that, he realized that the right half of his room had been surprisingly clean as well.

It was only his half that had clothes lying around now, and Baekhyun scoffed at the prospect of having to do the laundry later.

Not allowing himself to keep thinking about the absence of his hyungs, Baekhyun opened the door of the living room and he was greeted by the smell of coffee immediately. Thanking the gods for whoever had decided to brew a mug right then and there, he made his way over to the adjoined kitchenette to get to his favorite drink.

However, when he was right about to grab the mug, he heard someone screech and before he knew it someone had taken the cup out of his hands, moving faster than lightning.

“How dare you take my coffee, Baekhyun!” Minseok hissed as he grasped the beverage possessively. “Can you stop doing that?”

“What, hyung? What on earth should I stop doing?” the younger immediately snapped as he glared at the raging eldest of the group. “I literally just grabbed your coffee because it was here – stop being such a fucking pussy.”

“Shut up, Baekhyun, I’m not gonna deal with your bullshit today. Just stop stealing other people’s things, would you? You took Kyungsoo’s favorite shirt and he was so pissed he didn’t make breakfast.”

“Well, how is that my fault? If he doesn’t listen to me when I tell him I need his shirt, it’s not my problem. By the way, I have a tip for you, hyung. Maybe you should learn to cook yourself, because then you wouldn’t be here snapping at me like some petty bitch.”

The worst thing was, deep inside Baekhyun knew he was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t be snapping at his members, especially not Minseok who rarely got angry and who was his hyung.

For some reason, it still seemed to be impossible for Baekhyun to keep his sharp tongue under control, though. For a few moments, Minseok stared at him incredulously, his already big eyes growing even larger before he turned around and walked off.

“I have a tip for you, too,” he said without turning back and, as Baekhyun noticed, without adding the younger singer’s name to his statement. “Maybe you should learn some manners and stop talking back to older people – because then you’d actually find someone who wants to hang out with you.”

That hurt.

Baekhyun had always known Minseok was dangerous when angered, but right now even the wittiest member of EXO was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth to retort something, but stopped himself.

Minseok was already annoyed enough as it was – he definitely didn’t need to make it worse. Maybe that would make it easier to get his hyung to forgive him.

Sulky because of what had just happened, Baekhyun trotted over to the couch and plopped down on it, burying his face in one of the pillows that had been neatly arranged by someone. His back felt cold and not for the first time, he wished there was someone who was willing to provide some physical contact and listen to him rant about life.

In fact, Baekhyun was absolutely sure he would feel better after talking to someone, but with his pettiness that came with being down, he saw no way for him to find somebody like that.

After all, he had already pissed off Minseok and according to the eldest, he had also attracted Kyungsoo’s wrath, which was one of the worst things one could do. Chanyeol would probably side with the smallest member anyway, so Baekhyun couldn’t go to him, even though he felt like his same-aged friend might be able to understand him best.

Apart from those he had already thought about, there weren’t many people left who Baekhyun felt he could trust enough to talk to them. Talking to Jongin just wouldn’t feel right since he had been so much closer to other members lately, and Sehun was their maknae – as his hyung, it would be wrong of Baekhyun to burden him with his problems.

Of course, there were also Jongdae and Yixing, but the former was hardly serious enough to listen well to rants and the latter still didn’t fully get everything that was said in Korean, and Baekhyun was afraid he would lose his patience rather quickly.

That only left Junmyeon – speaking of whom, the door of the living room suddenly opened and the leader entered, completely focused on carrying a bunch of dirty laundry in his arms until he spotted Baekhyun on the couch – and screeched.

“Baekhyun!” he exclaimed and dropped the laundry much like a cartoon character, rushing over to the couch.

Before the younger member knew what was happening, he had landed on the hard floor and Junmyeon was fussing above him. However, the leader wasn’t fussing about him and his aching hip but about the pillows Baekhyun had been lying on.

The younger scowled, but before he could say anything, Junmyeon spoke, “could you please pay attention where you lie down next time, I just arranged them earlier because our cleaning lady is coming today? Did you tidy up your room?”

“No,” Baekhyun admitted in a subdued voice.

He felt bad for forgetting about their cleaning lady, especially since Junmyeon had constantly reminded the members over the last week. The fact that he still hadn’t remembered made him feel even worse, like he couldn’t even listen properly – why would the members listen to him then?

“Hyung…” he nonetheless tried in an attempt to get the leader’s attention.

Maybe if he looked at him, Junmyeon would notice Baekhyun wasn’t feeling well, maybe he would ask what was up and Baekhyun could tell someone.

However, his hopes were disappointed when Junmyeon let out a huff.

“Baekhyun, that’s a disaster!” he stated as he retreated from the sofa to get his laundry back. “That person works very hard to keep our dorm clean already, you are not gonna make them work even harder. Please tidy it now, then!”

Again, Baekhyun’s stubborn and petty side was triggered when his hyung ignored him.

“But I don’t want to,” he replied while getting up, only to regret it when he looked into Junmyeon’s face a second later and noticed the stress lines between the leader’s eyebrows and around his mouth.

“God, Baekhyun, can you please just do as you’re told for once? I’ve just about had it with you! I’m running around all day to make sure everything is put away so that the dorm can be cleaned while you sleep in and don’t even try to help.

“Instead, you decide to make everything even harder! I can’t deal with you right now! You’re gonna put away your things right now, or else-!”

Junmyeon turned around and stormed off as Baekhyun stood in the middle of the living room like a statue, trying to regain control over his eyes that had started tearing up. He felt horrible.

Just now, there was a waver in Junmyeon’s voice and it wouldn’t have surprised Baekhyun if he started crying because the elder did that sometimes – overwork himself until he couldn’t take it anymore.

And Baekhyun hadn’t helped at all – he had only made it worse with his childish and stubborn attitude. It was no wonder there was no member willing to listen to him. No matter how close he was with them at times, in the end there was no one he could come back to when he needed it.

Right now, Baekhyun was alone and he deserved it.

Sulkily he trudged back into his room and started putting his things back into the drawers. He couldn’t even be bothered to collect all the dirty laundry so he stuffed it into the drawer under his bed in hopes it would disappear.

When his room looked a little bit tidier after an eternity of bending down and straightening up again to feel his back hurt at each little movement, Baekhyun shuffled back into the living room, flopping down on the ground as he remembered not to mess up the couch once again.

He was done with today.

Earlier, he probably would have just gotten up to make himself a cup of coffee, but at this point, Baekhyun couldn’t even do that anymore. Truthfully, he wasn’t even sure if coffee would help.

There was another thing that bothered him, weighing down on him so heavily that he thought his neck might snap. All day, he hadn’t exchanged a single friendly greeting with anyone, hadn’t felt a single hand squeeze his own in reassurance, telling him that yes, he did belong, even if he didn’t feel like it today.

The worst was, it was Baekhyun’s own fault. Maybe his feeling had been right and there was really no one he could rely on in bad times.

The singer let out a deep sigh. All he wanted to do was sleep through the day – on the carpet, even, if there was no other space available. But he knew all too well that he would be ushered from his place by Junmyeon or whoever was here as soon as the cleaning lady arrived, so there was no point in hoping for a few undisturbed hours.

A small noise sounded behind Baekhyun like clothes brushing against a wall, rustling at the contact. However, the vocalist didn’t react. It was only when he heard a soft voice that he shot up from the ground, turning around to watch the intruder with wide eyes.

“Hyung? What are you doing…on the floor?”

The person sounded a little uncertain, as if they couldn’t quite believe their own eyes because of the sight they were met with. Their voice was sweet, a little higher than any of the EXO members’, and not unfamiliar to Baekhyun, though the vocalist hadn’t expected to hear it.

“Jimin-ah – what on earth…” he uttered under his breath, staring incredulously at the hooded figure of his junior and dongsaeng Park Jimin, member of BTS.

The boy looked like he had just woken up, his already small frame dwarfed by the hoodie he was wearing, which Baekhyun identified as Jongin’s. His face was bare, no traces left of the make-up he had surely been wearing the day prior and his fluffy fringe covered the part of his forehead which wasn’t already concealed by his hood.

Overall, he looked so soft that Baekhyun actually felt something warm spark inside his chest, despite his sour mood. However, then he remembered how his previous encounters with people had ended today and suddenly, he just wanted Jimin to go away.

What was he doing at EXO’s dorm at a time like this, anyway?

“Oh, hyung, I don’t think we saw each other last night,” Jimin quietly said and suddenly, Baekhyun remembered the party Jongdae threw. “At least we didn’t greet each other. Well, I stayed a bit late because it’d been ages since I’d last seen Nini-hyung and Taemin-hyung was here, too. And Jongin-hyung insisted on my staying since my dorm is quite a ride away.”

As an afterthought, Jimin added with a little giggle, “we might’ve been a bit tipsy, too. I’m just so glad I’m not hungover.”

Baekhyun groaned from his spot on the floor. He himself didn’t drink anything at all because he was still feeling the aftermath of the stress he was under the previous week, yet here he was with a headache and a feeling of loneliness in his heart that none of his members could fill today.

They wouldn’t want to, anyway, a nasty little voice added in his head, making Baekhyun frown and rest his head on the carpet.

Maybe if I ignore Jimin long enough, he’ll leave, the singer thought. If I open my mouth, I’ll probably just snap at him like I did at everyone else.

“Hey, hyung – are you okay?”

Jimin’s question came as a bit of a surprise to Baekhyun. He wasn’t personally close with the other idol. Of course they were on ‘hyung’-basis as Jimin was a frequent visitor at the dorm and Baekhyun – usually – was a very sociable person, but they hadn’t hung out much before, let alone talked to each other about their worries.

However, now that Baekhyun thought about it, he realized that Jimin had always seemed like a very empathic and kind person – of course it was like him to care about others, even if he didn’t know them well.

“I’m alright, Jimin-ah,” Baekhyun sighed, determined not to burden Jimin with his problems. “You can go home to your dorm or stay here a bit longer, I don’t mind. Our cleaning lady is coming soon, though.”

For a moment, it was silent. However, Baekhyun’s voice must have sounded as broken as he felt, since Jimin piped up again.

“Hyung, you seem really sad. Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? I can make us coffee if you want.”

“As I said, I’m fine,” Baekhyun replied.

He noticed he was getting impatient again and it made him feel guilty – how could he be annoyed at Jimin, who was just being nice?

“But I feel like it might help you to talk about it, hyung. I really don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I can’t just leave you here like that.”

“Can’t you?”

Finally Baekhyun lifted his head from the carpet and slowly sat up, looking at Jimin with bleary eyes.

“Well, since you insist.”

A smile immediately bloomed on the younger idol’s face and he happily skipped away towards the kitchen.

“Great! I’ll be right back!”

While he listened to the clattering noises coming from the kitchen, Baekhyun had time to get up and walk around a bit. He still felt tired, itchy in his own skin and just wrong, but he found he was actually glad Jimin hadn’t left – yet.

A small doubt sprouted in Baekhyun’s chest, but instead of giving in to his worries once again, he turned towards the kitchen to observe what Jimin was doing.

After watching the younger’s coffee-making for a few seconds, he realized two things. Firstly Jimin seemed to know their kitchen surprisingly well and secondly, despite that fact, the singer seemed to be incapable of not making a mess.

He did his best to it all clean up while the coffee was brewing, though, before taking two cups out of the cupboard and pouring the dark liquid.

“Do you want sugar or milk, hyung?” Jimin asked in a soft voice, apparently having been aware of Baekhyun’s presence all along.

“Yes, please,” the older replied, suddenly feeling a bit shy. “I like sweet things.”

“Go ahead into the living room, I’ll get your coffee.”

As Baekhyun got situated on one of the chairs at the table, Jimin carried the two cups into the room. When he placed it in front of his senior, Baekhyun was quite surprised to find two marshmallows sitting on top of his drink.

He shot a questioning look at Jimin, who ducked his head with a timid smile.

“I didn’t know if you were on a diet, hyung, but I figured one or two marshmallows wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun gratefully said as he took a sip from his cup.

As the warm liquid ran down his throat and into his stomach, filling it with pleasant warmth, Baekhyun eyed Jimin, whose small hands were gripping his own cup of black coffee tightly.

“You don’t take anything with your coffee?” Baekhyun asked incredulously.

Judging by Jimin’s squishy cheeks and his cute personality, he seemed like someone who would like sweet things as well. The younger spluttered a bit, almost choking on his coffee before giving Baekhyun a smile that looked strangely nervous.

“I like it like that, plus I’m on a diet. I can’t slack off now before our comeback.”

“Didn’t you just tell me to-“

“I’m a hypocrite and I can live with it, hyung. Besides, you don’t really need to watch your weight. Most idols would kill for a body like yours.”

Jimin shot Baekhyun another glance and there was a weird glint in his eyes this time. However, as soon as his strange behavior had started it stopped again when Jimin blinked, clearing his throat.

“Back to the main topic, though. Do you wanna talk about what’s going on with you? What were you doing on the floor?”

Baekhyun froze. The short conversation with Jimin had pushed the unpleasant events of this morning to the very back of his mind, but now that the younger had brought them up, all the negative feelings hit him at once.

His chest clenched painfully and so did his throat when he tried to swallow. Suddenly Baekhyun remembered just how unwanted he was by his groupmates, he remembered that no one wanted to be near him earlier.

“It’s just… Today’s not a good day for me,” he reluctantly admitted, immediately trying to talk it down. “It’s weird, you know, since our promotions just ended…”

Baekhyun let out a soulless laugh that made Jimin twitch in his seat. The younger singer was looking at his senior with a mixture of sympathy and genuine concern showing in his eyes, but Baekhyun didn’t feel patronized by him in any way.

If anything, it felt nice to know that at least Jimin cared.

“It’s not weird, hyung,” Jimin then said. “It happens to a lot of people I know. We complain about the stress while we’re active but don’t even realize that we need to be busy. And once we get a break, we fall into a deep hole that’s difficult to get out of.”

“For song-writing you need to work on your metaphors.”

Baekhyun couldn’t help the sassy comment escaping his mouth. It felt different than before, though – he wasn’t snappy anymore but quick-witted, as usual.

“Stop bullying me, hyung, it’s still early,” Jimin whined. “Anyway, what I wanted to say is – there’s nothing wrong with getting stressed even when you’re not working. It’ll subside after some time. Plus, some of us just need to be busy all the time.”

After he had finished, they remained in silence for a few seconds as Baekhyun pondered on Jimin’s words. What the singer had said sounded plausible, but it still didn’t quite fit his situation.

Of course, he was stressed, too, the stress had most likely caused his condition even. However, Baekhyun’s biggest problem was how out of place he felt in his own skin right now. How restless he felt, how he thought he belonged nowhere. How lonely he was.

“Is there anything else you wanna tell me, hyung?”

Jimin’s voice was gentle and prompting, his gaze soft, and Baekhyun could feel his walls crumble. He wasn’t even surprised by the fact that Jimin had basically read his mind – the younger was just so in tune with everyone surrounding him that he seemed to sense their feelings.

“Are you sure you wanna hear it? Everything?”

The words had escaped Baekhyun’s mouth before he could keep them from doing so and the vocalist was surprised at how raspy and broken his own voice sounded.

Jimin gave a silent nod.

“Well, then here I go I guess.”

And Baekhyun started ranting – about everything. The more he talked, the more words seemed to form in his head, ready to flow out of his mouth. He hadn’t even realized how many thoughts he had on this particular topic until he voiced them all out and suddenly, Baekhyun realized it was no wonder he had snapped at his hyungs.

He told Jimin that he had been feeling stressed for a while and realized that his skinship needs hadn’t been filled in a while either because they had all been so busy. He told Jimin about the sense of not belonging anywhere and the silent despair that came with it, driving him insane – and he realized that it was what had made him snap at his members.

Lastly, Baekhyun spilled all of his insecurities to Jimin. He talked about how he was afraid he was annoying, how he felt like no one was close enough to him to be willing to stay by his side at any time, no matter how badly he was acting.

And, surprisingly, Baekhyun found that it helped. Talking helped and talking to Jimin of all people was even better.

With each time the younger nodded, with each centimeter his small hand crept towards Baekhyun’s, the older man’s heart became a little lighter. When he was done talking, his eyes were shining brightly with unshed tears but he felt relieved, so he smiled.

“Thank you so much, Jimin,” he quietly said in a futile attempt not to get choked up. “You really helped me by listening. I know my ranting may have been annoying, so thank you for listening.”

“Hyung.”

Jimin’s voice was quiet and full of emotion, too. Baekhyun eyed the vocalist and realized how vulnerable he suddenly looked, how vulnerable both of them were.

“It’s no trouble, really. Please – can I hug you? I just wanna hug you, hyung, I think you need it.”

The second Baekhyun nodded, Jimin got up from his chair and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around the older man’s shoulders. Their position was a bit awkward since Baekhyun was still sitting in his chair, but the hug still felt better than anything the singer had experienced in a long time.

He breathed in deeply, inhaling Jimin’s smell and finding how much he liked it. It was sweet and subtle, and there was a little bit of Jongin’s scent in there. Baekhyun even though he smelled the fragrance Taemin liked to use, too, but he wasn’t quite sure.

It didn’t matter anyway.

All that was important was that Jimin was here with him, a small warm body draped over his back and sharing its heat with him.

“It’s okay to feel like you don’t belong, hyung,” Jimin whispered into Baekhyun’s ear. “You just have to keep in mind that in the end of the day, you do belong. You belong with all of us.”

That moment, Baekhyun swore to never let Jimin go again – only figuratively of course. However, he was not willing to let go of the love Jimin had given him that day.

He swore that he would keep in touch with the younger and that he would cherish him like he deserved it – no matter what their managers or their fans said. Jimin’s friendship was precious and once he had gained it, he wasn’t willing to give it up.

Chapter Text

No matter how you looked at it, there was no denying the fact that Kyungsoo had one of the most complicated personalities in EXO. He was full of contradictions and where he seemed savage and even a bit evil one moment, he could be extra sweet the next.

When the members got to know him better, they all gradually learned to deal with the enigma that was Doh Kyungsoo – Chanyeol was the best at understanding him for some reason, closely followed by Jongin, and no one could tell why it was like that, but they all got along with their shortest member.

One of Kyungsoo’s most prominent traits was his reserved attitude towards strangers. Part of it originated from the shyness he definitely possessed, no matter how vehemently he kept denying it, and another reason was the fact that he mostly kept his thoughts to himself.

Kyungsoo was, apart from Minseok, the quietest member of the group and everyone knew how long it could take to earn the vocalist’s trust. That didn’t mean they stopped trying, though.

As an idol, you were bound to meet and interact with other performers and sometimes, deep friendships would form between members of different groups, mostly from the same label but sometimes also from different companies.

That was what happened to BTS’ Jimin and Jongin first, and later to all of the other members, too. One by one, they started to get to know Jimin, the members who weren’t close with him yet eager to become his friends in the future – there was probably no one in the entire music business who would pass up the opportunity to become friends with the global sweetheart Park Jimin.

The only member of EXO who didn’t seem interested in BTS’ lead vocalist was Kyungsoo. No matter how much Chanyeol talked about the younger singer, his closest friend did not show any kind of reaction.

He simply stayed silent and moved on with his day, as he usually did whenever Chanyeol bugged him with something.

Since EXO were mostly used to Kyungsoo’s antics, they didn’t question him even if they didn’t understand his actions. However, that didn’t mean Jimin wasn’t confused.

“Does Kyungsoo-ssi hate me, hyung?” the short singer asked Jongin one afternoon when they met up at a small café to grab a bite together.

Jongin had ordered chicken, his favorite, even though it was only four in the afternoon, but the only thing in front of Jimin was a glass of plain water, decorated with a bit of lemon.

“Why would hyung hate you?”

Jongin raised his eyebrows in surprise, not having expected this kind of question since it had come totally out of the blue. Before they had been talking about their workout-schedules for their groups’ upcoming comebacks, but Jimin had seemed uncomfortable anyway, so it was no wonder he had changed the topic.

“Well,” the younger man said as he nervously shifted in his chair, “he never seems too keen on talking to me. When I’m at your dorms, I always greet him and sometimes try to start a conversation, but he’s not very…responsive.

“I just wanna make sure I didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t want Kyungsoo-ssi to be annoyed.”

A slight frown appeared on Jongin’s face at the odd use of honorifics. After a while of visiting their dorm, Jimin had started to call all EXO members ‘hyung’, even if he wasn’t particularly close to them yet.

They didn’t mind either and Jongin was quite sure they had never made Jimin feel like he was being impolite – therefore, he must be really insecure when it came to his behavior towards Kyungsoo if he used a formal honorific, the older figured.

“Don’t worry, Jimin-ah,” Jongin said with a reassuring smile. “Soo-hyung doesn’t hate you. He’s just not very good at meeting people.

“You see… He’s kinda not the typical kind of person to become an idol. He’s pretty shy, hates talking because he thinks he’s bad at it, especially when it’s about his feelings. Well, he’s a very reserved person, so it’s no wonder he closes himself off.”

“But – is there any way to become friends with him? You’re all friends with him, right?”

Jimin’s eyes became wide at the question and Jongin couldn’t suppress a laugh – he could tell the younger was thinking about the rumors that said Kyungsoo’s relationship with his members was on a merely professional basis.

“Of course we’re friends with him, we’ve lived and trained with him for years after all! Don’t ask me how we did it, though, I personally always got along with him. He’s the only hyung I can talk to informally.”

“Wow, that sounds like an achievement.”

“You make it sound like it is one, but it’s really not. He proposed it a few years ago and we just went with it.”

“So there is a way to get close to Kyungsoo-ssi!”

Jimin thoughtfully rested his chin on his hand, head propped up on his elbows.

“That’s great news…”

Again, Jongin chuckled at the younger boy’s cryptic comment.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you planning on poisoning all of us once you’re close with all the members?”

“Actually, I wasn’t, but you sometimes make me reconsider, hyung,” Jimin playfully retorted. “Truthfully, though – I can’t just be friends with the whole of EXO and leave one member out, can I?”

________________________________

Over the next few weeks, it became apparent that Jimin was looking for a way to win Kyungsoo over. The first time the members, namely Chanyeol and Jongdae, who were present at that time, noticed, was when Jimin ran into Kyungsoo in the hallway.

“Oh, Kyungsoo-ssi,” Chanyeol overheard the younger singer politely greeting his senior. “It’s nice to see you! It’s been a while since we last met here, but Jongdae-hyung told me you are very busy with filming.”

When there was no reply from Kyungsoo, Chanyeol figured the vocalist had simply nodded. That, however, didn’t discourage Jimin this time.

“Well, fighting, I guess!” the younger said, his squishy smile practically audible in his tone. “I’m sure it’ll do great! I guess I’ll return to Jongdae-hyung now or he’ll assume god-knows-what about my whereabouts.”

Chanyeol heard Jimin’s light steps as he walked away into the opposite direction. A few seconds later, the door opened and Kyungsoo stepped into the living room, silently walking over to where Chanyeol was seated on the couch.

“Did you want to go to the studio today?” he bluntly asked, without any kind of introduction.

“I was planning to, but then Jongdae said he was gonna order takeout since Jimin’s here. He’s even paying, can you believe that? We can’t skip this great opportunity! His wallet is definitely too thick nowadays.”

Chanyeol laughed loudly when Kyungsoo gave him a small smile, before beginning to rant about his day and complaining about their manager. For now, Jimin’s actions didn’t seem to have any effect on Kyungsoo, but that could change very quickly.

Jimin’s second try happened when most of the members were present at the dorm, as well as a few of their friends. Even Yixing had come for a visit, which had put everyone into a good mood.

They were all lounging around in the living room, chattering and eating little snacks when Jimin suddenly piped up, eyes sparkling.

“I’ve been so jealous of EXO-hyungnims performances lately,” he loudly announced from his spot on Ha Sungwoon’s lap (the latter had been dragged along by Taemin, who had draped himself all over Jongin and Baekhyun like the skinship monster he sometimes was). “You have such great choreographies all of a sudden.”

“Yah, what’s that supposed to mean?” Jongin spoke up, mocking Jimin by putting on a hurt expression. “Our choreos have always been on point.”

“But you’ve all improved so much,” Jimin nonetheless gushed. “My hyungs always tease me for this, but I keep replaying Kyungsoo-ssi’s killing part on our TV – it’s just too good.”

His praise for Kyungsoo almost got lost in the yelling that broke out when Jimin implied EXO hadn’t always been on point, but it still affected Kyungsoo as the vocalist shifted a bit.

“It’s hyung,” he quietly said, words barely audible.

The ones sitting close to him couldn’t bite back their smiles – it seemed like the Jimin effect was starting to take over Kyungsoo, too, if he wanted to or not.

The third time Jimin tried to get Kyungsoo’s attention was one evening when the singer was cooking. Preparing dinner had turned into a rare occasion for him, since he’d been very busy with his acting recently, so any day Kyungsoo cooked for the members was a good day.

The short vocalist was standing at the counter cutting vegetables for his stir-fry when Jimin walked into the room, on his way to get a glass of water. The younger hesitated for a second when he spotted Kyungsoo, but decided to get his water anyway.

Careful not to disturb his senior, he went to the cupboard and got himself a glass, filling it with water at the sink. It was the second he turned the water off that another person wandered into the room – Chanyeol.

“You’re cooking, Kyungsoo-yah!” he happily exclaimed when he spotted the younger vocalist at the stove. “Oh my god, I love you.”

Quickly he hurried over to where Kyungsoo was standing bent over his ingredients and wrapped his arms around the shorter man’s waist.

“I love you,” he sang meanwhile, his smile only growing bigger when Kyungsoo scoffed and tried to free himself. “You’re really a lifesaver, I feel like I’ve been starving for days!”

Instead of an answer, he got a piece of onion thrown at him, which hit him in the forehead. Kyungsoo was definitely good at aiming after years of living with Chanyeol and enduring his obnoxious antics.

“You’re not gonna get any food if you don’t let go, Yeol,” he warned, putting on an expression that was supposed to be intimidating but ended up looking cuter than anything. “I only give food to people who deserve it.”

“But I deserve it the most, Soo,” Chanyeol pouted as he let go. “I work the hardest here.”

He flexed playfully, which made Kyungsoo roll his eyes as Jimin burst into silent giggles from next to the sink where he was still standing.

“You work the hardest at annoying everyone,” Kyungsoo retorted. “And now go away, I have to finish this quickly.”

“But it smells so nice-“

“I haven’t even started properly, how can it smell nice?”

“It does smell nice, though.”

Both Chanyeol’s and Kyungsoo’s heads whipped around at the same time, both staring at Jimin incredulously. They had not expected the younger to speak up, since he had gotten himself his glass of water all too quietly.

The singer did not seem too fond of the two older men’s gazes since he started fidgeting nervously, just like he used to do years back before he had known EXO well.

“I mean, it really does,” he shyly mumbled, clutching his glass of water tightly. “It always does when you cook…Baekhyun-hyung told me it’s always very tasty, too.”

A dark blush coated Jimin’s cheeks as he moved to make his way out of the kitchen, but before he could, Kyungsoo fired a question at him.

“So, are you gonna stay for dinner, Jimin-ssi?”

Jimin froze on the spot, turning around painfully slowly.

“Um…I’m sorry…” he stuttered, nervously biting his lip. “I’m afraid I can’t. I have…stuff to do.”

“You don’t sound too certain, Jimin-ah!” Chanyeol stepped in excitedly. “You should really stay! C’mon, we’ll even get Kyungsoo’s legendary meat today.”

At the mention of meat Jimin jumped slightly, warily glancing at the stove before lowering his head.

“I’m afraid I really can’t. But thanks for the invitation, Kyungsoo-hyung. I’ll see you two around.”

Before anyone could utter another thing, he was gone, leaving the door open and Chanyeol and Kyungsoo with deep frowns. After a few seconds Kyungsoo silently turned back to his chopping while Chanyeol stood there for a few more seconds before turning to him.

Again, his arms sneaked around Kyungsoo’s waist as he pulled close, but this time the younger didn’t even stop his quick and fluid movements.

“I wish he would stay,” Chanyeol uttered. “His company is nice.”

“He’s a very kind person,” Kyungsoo quietly admitted. “Maybe he can stay some other time. I can imagine he’s nice to talk to.”

“He should really try your food.”

After that they both stayed silent, both lost in their own thought. There was no need for them to mention that something had been off about the scene, or that it had both of them worried. They knew they were thinking the same thing anyway.

Because at some point along the way, Kyungsoo had started to care for Jimin, too, without even fully noticing it. However, now he could only keep cutting his vegetables with a frown on his face, unable to do or say anything.

________________________________

The fourth time Kyungsoo showed a reaction to Jimin’s action it wasn’t even intended by the younger. It happened during dinner, on one of the rare evenings Jimin chose to stay. Kyungsoo figured it had something to do with the fact that he wasn’t the only guest in the dorms.

Jongdae, Jongin and Minseok had all gone to visit their families a few days prior and Sehun and Junmyeon were working on individual projects. That left Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Yixing and Kyungsoo behind, as the youngest of the four had realized dreadfully, and judging by the elder three members’ usual antics, it was going to be very chaotic.

However, instead of breaking the furniture or preparing god-knows-what stupid pranks to pull on Junmyeon and Jongin once they were back, they had invited a few of their friends over and told them to bring a few more people, too.

That was why half of EXO were hosting a small get-together without any special reason at all, apart from the fact that Yixing was home. Both idols and non-idols were attending, but apart from Jimin there were only a few people who Kyungsoo knew well.

Taekwoon and Hongbin from VIXX had come, just like SHINee’s Kibum who was sulking because ‘his members didn’t have time to hang out with him’. Lastly, Jimin himself had brought one of his own members, Hoseok. No one seemed to know him too well, but it soon became clear that he was an excellent moodmaker and before long, the dancer had made Yixing laugh so hard the Chinese singer almost spit out his drink.

Because he did not want to end up with a house full of drunk men in their twenties, Kyungsoo volunteered to cook for everyone and in return made Chanyeol promise not to offer any alcohol.

Actually, Kyungsoo was quite grateful for an excuse to keep a bit of distance between him and everyone else. While he was definitely used to his members, he still didn’t do well with people he wasn’t close to.

There was something that kept him from speaking, tying his tongue and making him become completely mute for hours at times. That was why most people thought he was very polite but reserved and distant, extremely difficult to get close to.

Eyeing the group of chatting people through the open kitchen door, Kyungsoo sighed. Sometimes he really wished he was as good at making friends as everyone else.

Jimin for example always seemed to know what to do or say to make someone feel comfortable. The boy had so many different sides that you would sometimes start wondering if it was even him right in front of you.

He was mischievous with his closest friends, sensitive to the emotions of others and polite yet sweet when meeting seniors.

Meanwhile Kyungsoo was just an awkward man who was always looking for words in his head and found it incredibly difficult and tiring to interact with others.

Maybe that was why at the beginning, he refused to pay attention to Jimin, the man mused as he stirred his ramen broth. The two of them sometimes seemed like polar opposites, one of them affectionate and touchy while the other didn’t even know how to express affection to the ones he knew the longest.

Still, Kyungsoo couldn’t deny that he had fallen for Jimin’s charm by now. Even though he had never been one to appreciate all those social butterflies who liked to make friends with everyone and anyone crossing their path, he found himself wanting to be Jimin’s friend.

There was something about the younger that had drawn him in, that had drawn everyone in – be it his ability to sense just what others needed, his kindness or his endearing eye-smile even.

And as odd as it sounded with them being so different, sometimes Kyungsoo felt like he was looking at his own reflection when watching Jimin. The contrast between them couldn’t have been more noticeable yet Kyungsoo related to him.

Deciding that the food was done now, Kyungsoo grabbed the pan’s handles tightly and walked towards the living room where everyone was caught up in a vivid conversation.

“Ah, the food is ready!” Chanyeol exclaimed, eyes glistening hungrily.

Kyungsoo silently placed the pot on the table, feeling a bit uncomfortable with everyone’s attention on him but never letting it show. He had gotten used to hiding his emotions behind a poker face by now and if he wasn’t laughing whole-heartedly or glaring at someone, people usually couldn’t tell how he felt.

“That smells fabulous, thank you, Kyungsoo-ssi!” Yixing thanked him with a bright smile.

The older’s odd use of honorifics amused Kyungsoo and he allowed himself to show a small smile that was gone again almost as soon as it had appeared.

“Can we dig in now?” asked one of Baekhyun’s non-idol friends and the singer gave him a thumbs up.

“But leave something for the rest of us! Kyungsoo’s food is about the best you can find!”

“Mine is better!” Kibum jokingly argued and seconds later everyone was talking again, laughing or yelling insults at each other mockingly.

Kyungsoo quietly sat down between Yixing and Baekhyun, watching everyone fill up their plates. His manners forced him to wait until everyone had supplied themselves with food, but he didn’t mind.

When it was Jimin’s turn to fill his plate, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but notice the amount he took was much smaller than everyone else’s. Suddenly Jimin glanced around before secretly pushing the meat to the side of his plate.

Maybe he’s saving it for later, Kyungsoo thought, but he knew all too well that that most likely wasn’t the case. He had witnessed someone else do the same thing too often to deny the true reason behind Jimin’s actions.

However, Kyungsoo was soon distracted when Baekhyun started to talk to him, having set his goal on forcing his fellow member to enter the conversation.

“You’re no fun, Kyungsoo-yah,” the older whined when Kyungsoo stayed silent and for a second, he resembled a 5-year-old so much that the shorter singer began to question how Baekhyun had gotten into EXO in the first place.

Suddenly, he noticed that Chanyeol had frozen beside him, completely occupied by staring at a certain Park Jimin. Kyungsoo frowned, his eyes landing on BTS’ lead vocalist again. To his own surprise, he found the younger munching on his food, looking a bit like a hamster with his cheeks stuffed with noodles.

“Your cooking skills are really something else, Soo,” Chanyeol suddenly mumbled but he sounded distant, like his mind was elsewhere. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen him enjoy food this much. Actually, I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen him enjoy any food at all.”

And even though his words held an alarming truth, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel a warm spark of pride inside his chest. He was typically praised a lot by everyone, for his singing and acting skills, for his politeness or even for his visuals even though he was short.

However, those compliments never meant much to him – unlike the fact that Jimin was actually enjoying his food in front of his eyes, that the younger wasn’t making up excuses in order to skip eating.

Suddenly, Kyungsoo felt like he had accomplished a lot today, even if it had been such a small thing as cooking a meal. He straightened up a bit, not quite ready to join the conversation yet but willing to listen instead if closing himself off like usual.

Today was definitely a good day.

_____________________________

After that, Kyungsoo and Jimin became close quickly. No one knew exactly how it happened because they didn’t exchange many words, but there was no way to deny Kyungsoo was doting on the younger.

It seemed like such a strange thing for his members to see the short singer like this, especially as they knew he had a hard time expressing his affection, but at the same time, it made all of them smile.

When Jimin came over during an award show to congratulate Kyungsoo on his new movie and made the older burst into laughter in front of the cameras with his imitation of him, Chanyeol was still a bit stunned at the unusual events.

However, in the end he realized it was no wonder something like that had happened. After all, this was Park Jimin – and he had everyone wrapped around his tiny pinky.

Chapter Text

“Could you please concentrate on the matter at hand, Yixing? Your mind really seems to be elsewhere today.”

For the umpteenth time ever since the meeting had started, Yixing’s manager called out the singer for not concentrating hard enough, making him jump a bit each time. Admittedly, he hadn’t been listening to what the people sitting at the table with him had been saying at all.

Some days, it was hard for Yixing to keep his mind fixated on one particular thing and today was one of those days where his thoughts wouldn’t stop wandering. Every time the officials started talking, his gaze drifted towards the window and when he saw the clear blue sky outside, he couldn’t help but start to wonder about many things.

What were his groupmates doing right now?

That question was bothering him a lot these days. Lately there had been talks about a new EXO album as Junmyeon had informed Yixing, but it didn’t seem like he was going to participate this time.

His managers had yet to bring it up to him, they didn’t even know he had been told about the comeback already – but from the fact that they chose to leave him in the dark for now, Yixing had figured they didn’t want him to take part in the album anyway. Just as always.

He sighed deeply as he turned away from the window, focusing on the official that was speaking right now. He should really pay more attention to the meeting, as it wouldn’t help anyone if he stopped doing his job properly.

If anything, he would face even more restrictions up to the point where he wouldn’t even be allowed to visit his groupmates in Korea every few months anymore.

Yixing’s managers were talking about his plans and schedules for the next months, and even though he could imagine better things than staying in China to promote on his own yet again, he did his best to come to an agreement with them.

At the end they settled with the plan of keeping him in China for at least six more months. According to his managers, there were many promising projects waiting for him, yet the knowledge that he would be apart from his group for an even longer period of time left a bitter aftertaste in Yixing’s mouth.

In the car on his way back to his apartment, all Yixing could think about was the reactions of everyone. He knew a lot of people would be disappointed, his members and, of course, his Korean fans – he knew how much they hoped for him to come back.

How could he not when his own hope was about twice as great after all?

But so far hoping hadn’t helped him a single bit. It had been months since he had last seen his members and the video calls he sometimes held with them could not make up for the time they had to spend apart.

It would be wrong to say Yixing hated China. In fact, he really loved his home country as it was the most familiar to him and he understood the people’s language perfectly. South Korea had been a scary place to him back in his trainee times and it still was.

While he was able to understand Korean better by now, he still got confused a lot and ended up embarrassing himself. That alone wasn’t enough to repulse Yixing, but he knew that whenever he went to Korea, some of his Chinese fans would get upset and he definitely didn’t want that.

However, now that he had been staying in China for so long, his Korean fans and all fans of EXO were heartbroken and he couldn’t blame them – not when he himself felt a weird hollowness whenever he thought of the dorm he last shared with his members, the chaos that occurred every morning when their manager wasn’t there to get up on time.

No matter how scary Korea was to Yixing, he missed it a lot. He missed his members, being part of a group, his fans and even SM Entertainment, even though he had never imagined that to be possible after everything that had happened in the past.

Although Yixing knew for a fact that he missed being in South Korea, he hardly talked about it. There was no need to bring the topic up in front of his members, as they seemed to face the same problem – they missed him.

In public, he couldn’t speak up about EXO since people expected him to be loyal to China now. It didn’t matter that his fans were disappointed by his everlasting silence, his managers had decided that for him long ago.

Yixing felt like he was facing a dilemma. No matter what he did, he could never get everything right. In any case, some people would get upset and he knew he would end up feeling hurt, whether he chose to stay in China or not.

Lastly, the topic was impossible to talk about to his managers, too. They weren’t all too keen on him ever going back to Korea and Yixing understood them, he really did. However, sometimes he wished he could just tell them how he felt, even if it was just to get it off his chest.

In the end, there was only one person Yixing could talk to about wanting to go back to Korea – Luhan. By now the ex-member was one of the persons he met up with the most and without him as a partner in crime of some sorts, Yixing really wouldn’t know what to do.

The only problem about talking to Luhan was that the other man was about a hundred times worse off than him. Ever since he had left EXO, Luhan had not been able to openly meet up with his ex-members that were still in the group.

He still kept in touch with Kris and, contrary to popular belief, Tao, but meeting up with any of the Korean EXO members was incredibly difficult for him. As far as Yixing knew, he had only managed to get dinner with Minseok once – that was before the officials of SM Entertainment had found out and started to keep the active EXO members from meeting with the ones that had left.

Apparently, it was to protect their image.

Again, Yixing tasted bitter bile on his tongue. That was what they said about him, too, even though he was technically still a part of EXO. Nowadays, though, it felt like he was on his own rather than part of a group.

Later that evening, he told Luhan about his thoughts when they met to discuss their schedule for the next months. Such meetings had become necessary when they’d both gotten busier and now, it was almost impossible for Yixing to meet up with his ex-member, especially when his managers were watching him like hawks.

“You’re gonna be pretty busy these coming weeks,” Luhan stated as he took a sip from his wine, licking his lips afterwards to avoid any red stains. “But at least you’ll get off for a bit afterwards. I’m not so lucky. It’s so-so at the moment, a few appointments here and there, but there’s not a single week I can just rest, let alone go to visit my family.”

“I’m going next month,” Yixing told him with a soft smile.

His intention wasn’t to make Luhan jealous at all – the prospect of getting to see his parents again just seemed so nice at that moment. Part of Yixing wished he could say he’d be visiting his members, too, but that would just be a lie.

“Okay, so what I’m getting from this is that we can only meet up again in about three weeks, right?” Luhan said. “Then we’ll have about five days of me being semi-busy and you being on holiday before you leave for your family’s place.”

“We should do something fun.”

Yixing looked at his own wine glass with great interest, even though it was almost empty. There was absolutely nothing he could gain from watching the liquid slosh around, but observing it somehow made his thoughts flow more easily. He remembered some of the Korean EXO members had a great taste in wine, too, and especially Junmyeon was the best at buying the most exquisite (and tasty) brands.

“Fun as in going to the zoo and pretend we didn’t spend our youth letting SM work us like animals or fun as in getting as drunk as we can and hoping it won’t cause a scandal?”

The corners of Luhan’s mouth twitched amusedly at Yixing’s undoubtedly bewildered expression, but before anyone could add anything, the latter singer’s phone started buzzing on the table.

Precisely, it was Yixing’s private mobile informing him about an incoming call and when he looked at the display, he noticed it was a Korean number. With a frown, Yixing stared at his phone for a few seconds.

He had all of his members’ numbers saved, so there was no way someone of EXO was calling right now. It couldn’t be an SM worker, either, since they would call up his work phone – but who could the caller be, then?

“Aren’t you gonna pick up?” Luhan asked with raised brows. “It’s gonna be gone if you don’t act soon.”

“I have no idea who this could be,” Yixing truthfully informed him as he picked up his phone and accepted the call.

“Hello?” he said in Korean, ignoring how unfamiliar the words sounded on his tongue. “Who is this?”

“Yixing-hyung? Is that you?”

The voice was pretty quiet and a bit altered by the telephone, yet still unmistakable. Even though Yixing had least expected to get a call from BTS’ Park Jimin one evening while hanging out with Luhan, he felt a warm happiness fill his chest as he smiled.

“Yes, it’s me. Why are you calling, Jimin-ah? How are you? Wow, it’s been months since we last talked, please don’t mind my Korean, I didn’t practice a lot lately.”

At the other end of the line, Jimin giggled and the sounds of his breathy laughter made Yixing’s own smile grow wider. After Jimin had stopped chuckling, he cleared his throat, ready to spill to Yixing what had made him call so out of the blue.

“Well, hyung, my group and I, we received our schedules today and it turns out we’re going to China next month to promote here for a bit. It’s been ages since we went there and it’s also been ages since we last saw each other, so I thought we could maybe meet up? Only if you aren’t busy and if you’re feeling up for it of course!”

“Wah, you’re so silly, Jimin-ah,” Yixing scolded, “of course I’m up for meeting my favourite dongsaeng from a rival group. Don’t tell Taemin-ah I said that, though, he will never let me live it down.”

“I’ll tell him,” Luhan mouthed at his friend, breaking into a smirk when Yixing tried to scowl but miserably failed.

The ex-member shrugged his shoulders slightly.

“It’s fun to see you be the victim of Taemin’s wrath.”

Suddenly, Yixing remembered he was on the phone with Jimin and quickly went to apologize, “I’m sorry, Jimin-ah, I got distracted because Luhan is being an asshole.”

“Still a hyung to you!”

“Fine, Luhan-hyung. Anyway, we were just discussing our schedules too and it seems like I’m free somewhere at the end of the months, before I go to visit my family. Could you tell me the dates when you arrive and depart please?”

After a short conversation, their plans were set in stone – when Jimin’s group would go China next month, he was going to visit Yixing and hang out with him. After ending the phone call, Yixing couldn’t help the giddy feeling in his gut for two reasons. Firstly, he was excited to show anyone other than Luhan the apartment he lived in, since none of his members or anyone else had really seen it before. And secondly, the thought of finally being with someone from Korea was nice.

Of course Jimin wasn’t one of Yixing’s members and no one could replace them, but the short dancer was really close to all of them and with his sweet personality, Yixing didn’t doubt for a second that he would be good company.

Apparently, Yixing’s anticipation was quite obvious to anyone he worked with, as Luhan immediately started to tease him about it, his managers asked him what it was that had him smiling so much and even Junmyeon mentioned it during a skype call a few days later.

“You really seem excited for Jimin-ah’s visit,” the leader said with a soft smile. “I can’t blame you, though, he’s really a sweet kid. I’m glad Nini became friends with him and then Yeol and after that…everyone I guess. We all care for him a lot.”

Yixing raised an eyebrow as he supported his chin with his hand, staring at the computer screen in front of him.

“Even Kyungsoo-yah?”

“Even Kyungsoo.”

And after their talk had ended, Yixing came to the conclusion that he really couldn’t be blamed for being excited to see Jimin. He just wanted a piece of his second home, even if it was just for a while, and BTS’ lead singer would definitely do.

As the days passed by agonizingly slowly, Yixing grew even more excited if it was even humanly possible. He may be working hard now, but afterwards he would get some time off to visit his family and meet up with Jimin – the prospect of that had him beaming with joy oftentimes.

Even if it had seemed to take an eternity to Yixing, the day of his and Jimin’s meet-up had finally come, leaving the Chinese singer full of anticipation yet also battling a bit of nervousness. He simply hoped his Korean was still good enough to hold a decent conversation as he took a taxi to the hotel BTS were staying at to pick Jimin up.

His group had arrived four days ago and promoted ever since, but they had gotten today off, which was why Yixing was going to show Jimin the nearby mall and maybe his own dance studio before taking the younger boy to his apartment.

Jimin was already waiting when Yixing’s cab pulled up in the driveway of the hotel, fully clad in a simple yet very fashionable outfit with mostly dark shades, save for his pink facemask that strangely reminded Yixing of Baekhyun. Even before they had greeted each other, Yixing’s cheeks were already hurting from smiling so much and it only got worse when Jimin excitedly ran up to hug him after spotting his hyung.

“Yixing-hyung, it’s been so long!” he delightedly stated as he squeezed most of the air out of Yixing’s lungs (even though the Chinese man couldn’t deny that Jimin’s grip used to be stronger). “I missed you a lot! EXO are missing you too, I’m supposed to tell you that first of all!”

“I missed you a lot too,” Yixing replied as he felt his eyes get watery.

He usually wasn’t one to cry too easily, but all the feelings that came with inhaling Jimin’s familiar scent mixed with a kind of spice you would only smell in Korea usually made him a bit sentimental. It even seemed like there was a bit of the fragrance Jongin used mixed into Jimin’s smell, or at least Yixing imagined that.

“How have you been, hyung?” a beaming Jimin asked when they had finally let go of each other, the older singer guiding his guest to the car. “We haven’t talked properly in a while.”

“I’m very busy with my solo activities,” Yixing replied as they both got into the vehicle. “I mean, I should be happy, but sometimes I wish things were different. Me being popular here in China gives them an excuse to keep me here when all I really want is to go back.”

As he talked, he felt his heart sink in his chest, so instead of ending on a sad note, he quickly changed the topic.

“I’mma show you my apartment later, so far only Luhan-hyung has seen it. But before that we’ll go shopping – I hope you don’t mind that. I thought we could pick up a nice bottle of wine, too, since a certain hyung emptied all the ones I had saved for special occasions.”

“As much as I enjoy a good wine, I don’t drink at the moment,” Jimin regretfully said after slamming the car door shut and buckling himself up. “I have no idea what’s wrong with me, but lately my body hasn’t been cooperating with me. The last time I had two beers with Yoongi-hyung I ended up with a hungover the next day – and I used to have the highest tolerance in our group.”

“That’s too bad,” Yixing replied and the driver started the engine, letting the vehicle roll onto the main road slowly. “Anyway, I’m sure we’ll find something else for you, then…”

____________________________

The two singers were busy shopping all afternoon and when they returned to Yixing’s apartment at eight, they were loaded with two bags of clothes and another one filled with groceries.

“I’m not gonna bother with cooking if that’s alright to you,” Yixing told Jimin as he put the milk away, always mindful to prevent it from being spoilt early on. “The place across the street has better food than I could ever make, anyway, so I’ll just order there. Do you have any special wish?”

“Some plain rice with vegetables and soy sauce will be enough,” Jimin replied a little too quickly, his eyes glistening weirdly as he looked at Yixing. “Please don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure? They have great meat and you won’t have many chances to experience such deliciously cooked Chinese food anywhere in Korea.”

“No, it’s okay. But I’d like some cold water if that’s alright.”

Jimin’s response sounded so pointed and uncompromising that Yixing didn’t dare to argue with him. The older singer quickly made his way to the telephone and ordered their dinner, returning to his guest who had stayed in the living room afterwards.

He found Jimin rummaging through the bag he had brought with him, in search of a particular object he couldn’t seem to find. Finally, he let out a triumphant cry and pulled a package out of the bag.

“Here!” he offered it to Yixing with a beam. “Open!”

The Chinese singer curiously picked at the messy pink bow that someone had placed on top of the package which was wrapped in cloth for some odd reason. What could this be? A few second later, he was enlightened when he realized what Jimin had just given to him.

“Is that…”

“…food Kyungsoo made? You got it right!” the small dancer smiled, happily watching as Yixing’s face lit up like a child’s on Christmas Day. “Well, I only took things that wouldn’t go bad after a few days, but you should still like them. I think he tried out something new, too, but I wasn’t allowed to taste the food yet. There’s Kimchi, also.”

“Do you want to try some of this?”

Yixing had removed the lid of one of the smaller boxes that had been included in the package to find delicious-looking chocolate cookies inside, just begging him to be eaten. However, Jimin shook his head at the older’s offer.

“They’re yours, hyung. Besides, I’m still full from the time a week ago when I went over to EXO’s dorm for dinner and the hyungs literally filled me up. They seem to believe I can stomach an entire elephant…”

Jimin laughed at his own remark, but it sounded a bit off, like he was trying to hide his own nervousness. Before Yixing could comment on his odd reaction, though, the younger quickly moved on to the next topic.

“By the way, hyung, I saw some really cute baby pictures of you lying around. Would you mind showing them to me? I love looking at old photos and I wanna see how you’ve grown!”

“Sure.”

Yixing quickly went over to a counter and came back with a bunch of photos, sitting down on the couch after Jimin.

“Look, that was me when I was five. I had just tried to ride a goat, that’s why I’m so dirty.”

“Aww,” Jimin cooed, “you’re adorable. Should I be worried about your eyes, though? They’re all red.”

“Baek always tells me I look like a stoner,” Yixing pouted as he pulled out the next picture. “The truth is, my eyes got infected a lot as a child. They still tend to do that sometimes when I wear contacts, I’m pretty sure the stylist noonas hate me for it.”

Jimin shook his head at that. “Well, you can’t be worse than Jungkookie. He’s got bad eyesight but never wore his glasses so it got a lot worse to the point where he doesn’t recognize anyone without glasses or contacts. If he hadn’t been so reckless, he-“

They spent quite a long time chatting about Yixing’s baby pictures and sharing anecdotes with each other before the restaurant across the street called, telling them that the food was ready. While Yixing went to get it, Jimin set the table in the living room and when the older came back, he couldn’t help but be reminded of all the times he had such dinner-rendezvous with one or more of his members.

He felt a sharp pang in his chest when he realized yet again how much he missed them, but then his eyes landed on Jimin and the boxes he had brought and the singer felt a bit more lighthearted.

Dinner was spent chatting again and especially Jimin seemed to prefer talking over eating, always ready to expose his members and their peculiar habits which the dancer had noticed after years of living with them. Even though Yixing had feared it would be hard for him to use Korean after not needing to for so long, he found himself enjoying the conversation although he was at a loss for words more than once.

However, everything about this dinner with Jimin felt so familiar, the language and words they exchanged, the clinking noises of their chopsticks bumping against the plates and even the way it smelled, even though the food they were consuming was Chinese.

When Jimin asked to play videogames after dinner, Yixing couldn’t help but tear up. How long had it been since he had felt this complete, this at home even in China? How many hours had he spent wishing for this sense of belonging that came with Jimin’s presence like it was only natural for him to be Yixing’s home?

“Are you okay, hyung? You look sad all of a sudden? Did I do something wrong?” Jimin seemed seriously concerned about Yixing’s being emotional all of a sudden, but the older just shook his head at him and showed him a genuine smile.

“Not at all, Jimin-ah. I’m just really grateful because you gave me something I’ve been missing for a long time. Thank you for visiting me.”

“Geez, hyung, you should really return to your members soon,” Jimin stated as he stepped forward to envelope his hyung in a tight hug, letting him once again smell the hint of spice that his mind linked to Korea and his second home.

It’s really a miracle how I can call Seoul my second home now when I used to hate it there so much, Yixing thought hours later, when Jimin had long fallen asleep on his shoulder and the movie was still playing.

However, he couldn’t deny that he belonged in EXO’s dorm just as much as he belonged here – and that Jimin was part of that second home he needed, too.

Chapter Text

Kim Junmyeon had always been a hard worker. For him, there was no option other than giving his best, no matter how hard the tasks he was presented with were, no matter how tired they would leave him.

Somewhere along his way as a trainee, the CEOs of SM Entertainment seemed to have noticed that he would always jump at any task given to him – and thus he became the leader of EXO.

Leading hadn’t always come easily to Junmyeon, but after years of practice he had found the right balance of being pushy when his members were unwilling but trying to understand each of their worries.

Being a leader also meant Junmyeon had to stay strong. He had to stand tall and upright when Kris left, Kris, the one member who would help him shoulder the weight of responsibility that came with being in a group.

He wasn’t allowed to voice out his own doubts and insecurities when their Chinese leader left, was only allowed to criticize and make everyone believe he was angry – when in reality he was just lost.

Why had Kris left?

It was impossible to count the amount of times he had asked himself that question. Of course, he wondered about the other two as well, about Tao and Luhan, but neither of them remained such unsolvable riddles as Kris did.

Junmyeon could name a lot of reasons for Kris’ departure. He knew the Chinese members hadn’t been treated well and maybe, just maybe, the rumors were right and EXO had never been what Kris really wanted.

Both thoughts hurt, of course, but they were easier to bear than the uncertainty Junmyeon was left with even years after Kris had turned his back on them.

Over the years, Junmyeon had bit back a lot of other things, too. Of course, he knew when or how to speak up about issues concerning the group – as a leader, he had to – but most other things he refused to tell anyone.

When he didn’t feel well and got stressed, Junmyeon didn’t dare to show it to his members. After three of them had left and Yixing was permanently on break, most of them had become a bit paranoid – who could blame them, really?

If there was anything in the world Junmyeon would choose death over doing, it would be worrying his members. There was nothing like the anxiety he felt when seeing Baekhyun’s face fall at the mention of any problems the group could be facing or when even Jongdae quietened as soon as the subject of Yixing came up.

The members were already burdened enough, Junmyeon decided. They didn’t need their leader to drag them down even more.

Another reason why Junmyeon got away with hiding his problems was the fact that they were all adults by now. The members still lived under the same roof and some of them preferred sharing a room over sleeping alone, but in the end they were all independent guys who made their own decisions.

At times, Minseok or Chanyeol would tell him not to work himself to hard or to take a break – or Kyungsoo had his homemade food delivered to wherever Junmyeon was during dinner time – but in the end the members never called their leader out for his behavior.

In return, he didn’t nag at them either and only stepped in when it was absolutely necessary. A lot of times, though, Junmyeon felt very grateful that his members didn’t need much supervision anymore.

If he had to deal with Minseok like he had in 2013 or if he still had to keep Jongin from ordering three chickens at 7 o’clock in the morning, Junmyeon was positive he would die of exhaustion.

Because he was used to keeping his thoughts to himself, Junmyeon knew how to cope well without talking. Usually, spending time with his friends and co-workers was a great way to relieve stress, even if he knew most of the people he liked to hang out with from work.

However, he liked working. He was a bit of a workaholic even and sometimes he would rather do his job than let his mind wander to places where he didn’t want to be – places that were reserved for Kris, the guy who had so thoroughly disappointed him, for Luhan and Tao too, but mostly for Kris.

Sometimes, Junmyeon liked working so much that he completely forgot to stop. Those were the nights when he didn’t return to the dorm and showed up the next day with dark circles under his eyes, indicating he had lost track of time again.

Funnily, it wasn’t one of Junmyeon’s members who first noticed the fatigue apparent in his steps and movements but an entirely different person whom Junmyeon still appreciated greatly.

Even though he no doubt had a busy schedule to attend himself, BTS’ main dancer Park Jimin just knew that Junmyeon was close to reaching his breaking point one day. It was like the younger singer could sense it or smell it in the air the moment Junmyeon entered the almost vacant dorm.

The leader was beyond tired, not entirely trusting his legs to carry him all the way to the kitchen as he pushed through the door. He eyed the nearest place to sit down which was the sofa about four meters away and started to make his way towards it.

It was only when something moved on the couch that Junmyeon realized he wasn’t alone.

“Hyung?” Jimin’s soft and familiar voice called, startling the leader despite its tenderness. “Is that you, Junmyeon-hyung?”

The younger had been resting under a grey blanket matching the color of the sofa before Junmyeon had come in and was now struggling to sit up, looking at his senior with big eyes.

“Oh, it’s you, Jimin-ah.”

Junmyeon was surprised that his voice wasn’t gone at this point. He had been awake for almost thirty hours now and sometime around five o’clock, everything had started to blur together, leaving him confused and in a trance-like state he couldn’t escape. The leader didn’t remember crying at any point, but his voice sounded like he had – and it wasn’t unthinkable either.

Sometimes when Junmyeon had let everything pile up for a little too long, he lost control of his emotions and whatever happened in those moments, he couldn’t direct.

“Hyung, sit on the couch with me for a second,” Jimin immediately offered as he got up from the sofa, ready to lead Junmyeon there if it was necessary.

The frown that had formed on his face showed just how worried he was after he had heard Junmyeon talk and seen his sunken face that was so unlike the round, rosy and smiling one he usually presented to everyone.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” Junmyeon weakly asked as he willingly took Jimin’s offered hand and let the younger lead the way towards the couch. “I thought… No one’s here…”

“I was alone,” Jimin confirmed. “It’s because I got pretty sick recently and my dorm isn’t the most quiet place, so Nini-hyung offered that I could stay here while everyone else was away. Don’t worry, though, I’m not contagious or anything – they put me on pretty strong antibiotics.”

He smiled a bit at that but his face quickly turned serious again when he examined Junmyeon with his eyes.

“You look horrible, hyung,” he commented in a tiny yet stern voice. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m okay,” Junmyeon answered, giving him an exhausted, defeated smile that might have looked dopey, considering how mushy his brain felt.

Jimin shook his head. “I don’t believe you,” he announced and took the other singer’s hand. “Nini-hyung said you were at the studio yesterday. Didn’t you come home last night?”

“I didn’t. Slept on the couch, though” – a blatant lie, and Jimin seemed to see right through it.

“You know, I have a few irresponsible hyungs in my group,” he said as he drew patterns onto Junmyeon’s palm with his short, chubby pointer finger. “Take Yoongi-hyung for example. You know him, right?”

“I guess…”

Truthfully, Junmyeon couldn’t even remember what the rapper’s face looked like because he was so exhausted, but in order to keep the conversation going, he lied yet again.

“Well, he’s depressed. Pretty sure you know what that means, too. He’s on meds and everything is alright at the moment, but there was a time his pills didn’t work as they should have and it all got a bit much for him. He stayed holed up in his studio for days and we couldn’t get him out. Later he…” Jimin swallowed, his body tensing suddenly.

“He admitted he thought about…ending it all. His life.”

The confession the singer had just made usually would usually leave Junmyeon in shock, yet right now, EXO’s leader couldn’t even comprehend the meaning of Jimin’s words. They swirled around in his head, meaningless and empty.

“What does that have to do with me?” Junmyeon asked.

“Well, hyung, Yoongi-hyung used to lie to us, too. Though, you look even more exhausted than I’ve ever seen him right now…”

Finally, the reason behind Jimin’s words dawned on Junmyeon and he suddenly felt sick. His state had caused the younger so much anxiety already, even though that was exactly what he had been trying to avoid when he had gone to the studio. Junmyeon didn’t want his members and friends to see his brain shut down like this, so he had hidden – and yet, Jimin was immensely worried about him.

“I’m not depressed, though,” Junmyeon quickly clarified his gaze guilty. “Please don’t worry, Jimin-ah, I don’t have such thoughts. To be honest, I don’t have any thoughts at all right now.”

He laughed weakly to dissolve some of the tension in the room, but Jimin wasn’t having it.

“You don’t have to tell me, hyung,” he said without looking at Junmyeon. “I won’t force you. But maybe, it would help.”

“What should I talk about?” Junmyeon laughed again, and this time, it sounded even faker than before. “I went to the studio to write music but then the thoughts in my brain became too loud and…I don’t even know, I must have started to question things.

“How did I end up like this? Why did Kris leave our group? Why did he never contact me, even though we were always close? Would things be different if he was still here?”

“So, you were thinking about Kris-ssi,” Jimin repeated. “Have you really never talked to him after the lawsuit?”

Junmyeon shook his head with a sigh.

“No, the company didn’t want us to, but I tried anyway. He never answered me. I know Chanyeol is still in touch with him, though, even though he tries to hide it.

“The thing is – I’m not even mad or anything. I know Kris was treated like shit and he had the right to leave. Yet sometimes I still wish he hadn’t – being a leader is so stressful, especially when your members are leaving and your company is uncooperative. I’m just so, so tired, and these thoughts just make it worse.”

Unknowingly, Junmyeon’s voice had started to waver at the end and suddenly he was afraid he would start to cry if he said any more, so he shut up quickly. Jimin turned his head to look at him with soft, empathetic eyes and Junmyeon shuddered under his gaze.

“I’m so tired,” he mumbled dejectedly, his eyes cast down at the floor.

“Sometimes, life gets too hard for all of us,” Jimin finally spoke after a full minute of silence, in which the younger had inched closer to Junmyeon. “I realized that a while ago, too. And you really do have it hard.”

He thought for a moment, before adding, “if you turned around, I could give you a massage? I know it doesn’t really solve your problems, but it would help you feel better physically – and that’s important, too, you know.”

Junmyeon, who was too tired to object to anything by now, nodded slowly and turned so that Jimin was behind him. A few moments passed until he felt small hinds being placed above his shoulder blades, digging into his skin.

Before Jimin had started his massage, Junmyeon hadn’t realized how tense he was, but when his muscles started to relax one by one, he couldn’t help sighing deeply. Jimin had been right – the better his body felt, the less prominent the thoughts and questions in his head became until they were barely there anymore, driven to the very back of his mind.

As Jimin continued, Junmyeon’s eyelids grew heavy and he was about to nod off when his hands came in touch with Jimin’s thighs. Suddenly, Junmyeon was jerked awake again.

“Your thighs are really thin,” he stated with a frown. “I thought dancers always have a lot of muscles.”

He felt Jimin’s hands stop working for a second and turned to see the younger blinking rapidly, obviously caught off guard by the leader’s statement.

“I…It’s because I was sick,” Jimin quickly said. “I lost quite a bit of weight. It’s okay, though, hyung, I don’t mind.”

He smiled, his eyes turning into crescent moons, and Junmyeon turned around again. He didn’t dare to ask any further questions, yet his thoughts continued to revolve around Jimin’s last words as the younger continued his massage.

In the end, Junmyeon lost his battle against sleep, though, and he still hadn’t come to a conclusion before he nodded of. When he woke up again, it was evening and he was still on the couch, but he could hear the other members roaming around the dorm and preparing dinner in the kitchen.

By then, Junmyeon had forgotten Jimin’s weird answer and instead, he remembered with a smile how the younger had gotten him to relax within minutes earlier. Normally, EXO’s leader was forced to deal with his worries alone, but Jimin had somehow relieved a lot of them.

Junmyeon finally felt ready to face the next few weeks as EXO’s leader, even without Kris to share his burdens with, and he made a mental note to thank Park Jimin, who was the reason everything was fine now.

Chapter Text

Sehun wasn’t an insecure person. Actually, he was far from being that – he knew what he could do and what he couldn’t and most of the time, it was enough for him.

However, being the member getting the least lines in their comebacks sometimes took his toll on him. There were days when Sehun seriously wondered if he was needed in a group where he could only ever be the second best if he tried his hardest.

Chanyeol was a better rapper, Jongin a better dancer, their group had probably the most powerful vocalists of their generation – but Sehun wasn’t among them. His visuals weren’t bad, just like his rap or dance weren’t, but they didn’t draw fans in like Minseok’s cute face or Baekhyun’s playful personality.

In interviews, Sehun was quiet and reserved, like he was with people he knew, too. He had never been one to talk much, anyone in EXO could confirm that, and sometimes he started to beat himself up over it.

His fans seemed to have noticed that he had no special charming point too, and a lot of times after they had completed a performance, Sehun had to look at comments that questioned his place in the group, his position as an idol, even.

The only thing people wanted him to do was to take his shirts off. Sehun did take pride in his body and he spent a lot of time working out to maintain it, but a lot of times, he found himself wishing there was more to him.

Who was Oh Sehun? What defined him as a person? What were his characteristics on stage?

Sehun felt regular. He felt like the most boring, stereotypical person in the world – which he really could have been, if it hadn’t been for his preference for boys, something that could never be considered normal in his home country.

Whenever he started to doubt himself, he told himself that a lot of people were like him, boring and common, that it wasn’t a bad thing – however, deep inside he knew that being normal just wasn’t enough. Not when you were an idol under SM Entertainment.

Fortunately for EXO’s maknae, there was one thing that made him feel better, though – praise. He had never openly spoken about it before, yet every time someone complimented his dance or his hair, he felt a warm pleasant shiver run down his spine.

If his hyungs had known how much Sehun needed praise to grow and bloom, they wouldn’t have hesitated to provide him with it more often, but since they simply weren’t aware, compliments were kind of rare.

That was why Sehun was slightly perplexed when he first met Park Jimin. The singer was a bit younger than him, which the other EXO members reminded him of all too often, but Sehun didn’t feel threatened by Jimin at all. There was something relaxing about his laugh that made EXO’s maknae want to hear it more often, so he was more than glad when Jimin started to appear at their dorm more frequently.

At first, Sehun didn’t really talk to the other idol because he was always surrounded by his closer friends in the group, like Chanyeol and Jongin. However, when the small dancer befriended more and more members, they somehow ended up as a giant group with Sehun among them.

The first time the maknae really talked to Jimin was at work, though, when EXO and BTS met at a music show. The two groups had encountered each other in the hallway earlier and greeted everyone politely, and after they had finished their practices, Jimin appeared in EXO’s dressing rooms.

It just so happened that Baekhyun and the rest of the 92’ liners (plus Kyungsoo and Jongin) had gone to get snacks while Junmyeon was rehearsing lines for his new drama. Minseok was asleep on one of the couches in the dressing room, so Sehun was the only member available for conversation when Jimin entered the dressing room.

The dancer’s face immediately lit up like a lamp when he spotted EXO’s maknae and he happily waddled over to the couch where the older was sitting.

“Sehun-hyung,” he chimed, “you did so well at the rehearsals earlier.”

Sehun could barely keep his jaw from dropping. Not only had Jimin, whom he wasn’t close with, greeted him like they were the best of friends, the singer had also just praised him.

“What?” Sehun replied in a dumbfounded way.

“I watched you and the other hyungs earlier!” Jimin explained immediately. “You all sounded great, but you somehow stood out to me. You were so cool!”

“I-I… Thanks, I guess?”

With no way for Sehun to prevent it, his thoughts jumped to the rehearsal Jimin had just referred to. He hardly remembered half of it, after dozens of shows where his group had to perform the same song over and over again.

Had anything been different from usual?

“You look really good, hyung!” Jimin proceeded to tell him.

He was talking so fast that Sehun should have been scared that he would accidentally bite his tongue or choke on his own saliva – but after years of being friends with Baekhyun, he knew he had nothing to worry about.

“I love your body, it’s so toned. You can immediately see how hard you work when dancing, hyung!”

A blush bloomed on Sehun’s cheeks at Jimin’s compliment. He frowned, trying to will it away with the sheer power of thought, but the truth was that Sehun thrived under the praise. He always got a bit flustered when people, especially men, commented on his body.

If Chanyeol or Jongdae were here right now, he would never hear the end of this.

“Ah, thank you, Jimin-ah.”

Sehun let out a weak chuckle. Suddenly he remembered it would only be polite to compliment Jimin as well, but the harder he thought, the mushier his brain became. It was hard for him to even think in straight sentences with Jimin’s gaze looking him up and down, checking him out.

“Hyung, I really admire you,” the younger idol admitted nonchalantly. “I wish I was as tall and awesome as you are, but look at me.”

He gestured at his own shorter figure and Sehun couldn’t help noticing how good he looked, drowning in a flannel that had a velvety shimmer to it if you looked close enough. When Sehun turned to look at Jimin’s face again, he noticed a weird look in his eyes.

However, the expression was gone the next second, replaced by one of Jimin’s eye smiles that Chanyeol liked to praise so much.

“Anyway, hyung, how are you doing?” Jimin asked. “You must have dieted hard to look this good.”

“A-actually, I have a fast metabolism,” Sehun told him shyly. “I don’t- Dieting isn’t really something I do. I just work out at the gym and the dance studio and that’s it!”

“Oh, I see… Well, how about we go and work out together sometime soon? To be honest, I’ve put on quite some weight,” at that, Jimin’s fingers dug into his shirt, probably to illustrate his statement, although he failed miserably. “…and I need to keep myself motivated.”

“Really?” Sehun couldn’t help asking.

Out of all people, why had Jimin chosen him as his gym buddy? Perfect, kind, beautiful Jimin – why would he want to end up with someone as normal and boring as Sehun?

However, despite his doubts Sehun secretly wanted nothing more than to get closer to Jimin. Something about the singer fascinated him, made him hope with every fibre of his body that he would get complimented again just once.

A praise by Jimin was special, considering how spot-on the dancer’s own performances were.

So Sehun nodded, trying not to seem too eager, even though he could hardly hide the big grin threatening to spread on his face.

“Okay,” he corrected himself, “let’s go to the gym together!”

_________________________

If he was honest with himself, Sehun had to admit he had developed a little crush on Jimin. However, it was different from Chanyeol’s ‘crush’, who simply wanted to be friends with Jimin.

Sehun’s crush was more complicated because it was not requited, nor would it ever be accepted.

Sehun was gay. He had been sure about that quite early and after debuting with EXO, he had stopped trying to fall in love with a girl. His job as an idol really gave him the perfect excuse not to be looking for a wife – he had to be available for his fans, if no one else was willing to do it, he, Oh Sehun, would stay single. After all, none of them knew he would never marry one of them.

However, being an idol also made everything a lot harder. Although Korea’s society was unaccepting and unforgiving either way, maybe there would have been a way for Sehun to live in peace if he wasn’t a part of EXO.

But as an idol, Sehun couldn’t come out. He hadn’t even been able to tell his members and the few staff members he trusted for a long time because he was afraid of destroying everything he had built up.

Even though Sehun knew how boring he was, he was still too attached to EXO to give it all up.

That’s why he had not pursued another man for years, keeping his preferences to himself mostly. Sehun had even restricted himself from meeting other boys he could possibly fall for, to avoid getting hurt.

So his crush on Jimin made everything so much harder. Firstly, he doubted that the other singer was gay as well. And secondly, they could never have a future together even if the odds were in their favor.

Sehun knew that two of his labelmates were in love with each other, and the stories he had heard about the hardships they had to go through were enough to scare him off.

Although his heart started beating faster whenever Jimin was around and his palms grew sweaty, Sehun kept spending time with the smaller singer. At first he had tried to avoid him, but that was practically impossible considering how attached the other EXO members were to Jimin.

After spending a lot of nights in his room, anxious that Jimin would try to come and find him, Sehun decided it was not worth it. As long as he could control himself not to act on any of his spontaneous hunches, he wanted to be around Jimin.

One of the reasons why was that he kept praising Sehun. Apparently, the show they had met at was only the beginning since afterwards, Jimin began to compliment Sehun practically every time they saw each other.

Whether it was a ‘hyung, your rap sounded so good when I saw you on TV’ or a ‘Sehun-hyung is the coolest hyung I have’, Sehun longed for the praises.

Jimin had a way of looking at him that made him feel like he was the most interesting person in the world. Not even Luhan had made Sehun feel like that back when he was still part of EXO.

As he got closer to Jimin, Sehun stopped doubting himself as often as he had before. He still had moments were he seriously questioned if he belonged in EXO, yet the memories of Jimin’s compliments were enough to drive these thoughts away.

“You’re happier,” Minseok told him one evening when they were sitting in the kitchen of their dorm with a beer each, doing some oldest-maknae-bonding.

“Huh?”

At first, Sehun didn’t get what he meant, but Minseok quickly elaborated.

“Ever since you met Jimin, you’ve been a lot happier than before. You seem to talk more and you’re confident.”

“He praises me well,” Sehun quietly said, too shy to give away his love for compliments, especially when they came from Jimin.

However, the ever-observant Minseok noticed anyway. He shook his head slowly.

“You need to be careful, Sehun-ah, please remember that. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Sehun smiled, suddenly not feeling embarrassed at all anymore. “I’m alright. I know I’m only dreaming, but it’s okay. I just really like Jimin-ah a lot, being friends with him is more than enough for me.”

_________________________________

Like crushes usually did, Sehun’s vanished after a while. However, his happiness remained and began to affect his life more and more. Miraculously, Sehun met someone.

He found someone he was interested in, who seemed to like him as well – someone who worked close to him. For the first time ever, Sehun felt like his love life could work out in the end and he knew he owed Jimin for it.

Hadn’t it been for his sweet compliments and praises, Sehun would have never gotten this comfortable in his own skin.

“I love how happy you seem with yourself. You deserve to be happy,” his partner told him one night and that was when Sehun knew he wanted to tell Jimin and thank him.

The only problem was that Jimin didn’t know he was gay.

Sehun tried his best to figure out a solution, but he couldn’t think of any. He was deadly afraid of scaring Jimin off, but it was practically impossible for him to speak honestly without revealing his crush.

After many hours of worrying and talking to his members about his situation, Sehun finally decided that he would just tell Jimin. Of course, he was still afraid that the younger would abandon him, but there was no other option for him than being honest.

Therefore, Sehun called Jimin and asked if they could meet up at the gym, the place where they spent the most time together. Sehun’s hands were shaking as he waited for Jimin next to the treadmill and he felt sick.

What if Jimin ran away? What if he exposed him? Sehun couldn’t lose Jimin – without him, he was nothing. Would he lose all of his newfound confidence if Jimin left?

“Hyung!” a thin voice called out his name and Sehun’s head shot up.

He immediately knew who it belonged to – Jimin. The younger idol was on his way towards the treadmill, once again smiling his signature smile.

“You look good, hyung!” Jimin greeted him with a praise and a tight hug.

Sehun noticed he looked tired. The bags under his eyes were too deep to be fully concealed by make-up and his face had thinned out compared to when they had first met up here. For a second, Sehun was baffled at how those changes had only become apparent to him just now, but Jimin snapped him out of his thoughts quickly.

“Are we gonna start, hyung?” he asked. “I’m ready to sweat!”

“Actually, before we start, I’d like to t-tell you something.”

The nervousness from before had re-emerged and Sehun could feel beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he took out his phone – it was too late to back out now.

“I-I…” he started, but couldn’t bring himself to finish.

“What is it, hyung?”

Jimin was staring at him with round, dark eyes, all traces of his smile gone from his face now. He must have sensed Sehun’s mood because he gently touched his arm, a gesture that made a shiver run down the rapper’s spine.

“I’m seeing someone,” Sehun blurted out. “That’s not really that surprising, but the person I’m seeing is…they work in the same field as us. They…they’re a guy. I’m gay.”

For a second he paused, but in the end he couldn’t stand waiting for Jimin to answer. So Sehun just went on, even if it was only to keep Jimin around a bit longer.

“But the reason I’m telling you this is because I want to thank you. You keep praising me and without you, I wouldn’t be as confident and I probably wouldn’t have dared approach my partner like that.

“And he said he likes how comfortable I am in my own skin, but it’s all thanks to you. I always thought of myself as plain and boring, but you made me feel different. Look where I am now. I really, really owe you, Jimin-ah.”

Finally, Sehun was done talking. His speech had been quite rushed so he was breathing hard, but the second Jimin opened his mouth he held his breath.

“Hyung,” the singer whispered, his voice barely audible. “Hyung, I don’t really know what to say. I don’t think you should be thanking me.”

“But I-“

“No, hear me out. I’m glad you like my praises, and I’m really being honest when I say that I admire you. You’re so brave for accepting yourself no matter what other people say, for dating someone you want to be with regardless of prejudice.

“I don’t know a lot of people who have the balls to do that. And, I think you did it all by yourself. My praises may have made you feel good, but you realized you aren’t boring on your own, hyung.

“And it’s the truth. You’re far from being plain or untalented, and I’m glad you know that. I wish I could stand up for myself as well as you do. So, I really admire you, Sehun-hyung!”

Sehun could only stare at him, his eyes widened. Once again, Jimin was so right. He was speaking the truth and the more Sehun thought about it, the better he understood his words.

And Sehun also realized something else that he had known before, but not to this extent. Park Jimin was a blessing, to him and to others. He helped all of them, but in return, he also needed to be helped by someone.

Sehun really hoped Jimin would find his own blessing before it was too late.

Chapter Text

Minseok was quiet. He was smart yet introverted, muscular yet short. He didn’t stand out.

The rest of EXO treasured him, though, for many reasons, the first one being his advice. As the oldest, it seemed almost too cliché that Minseok was also the wisest member. However, everyone in the dorm knew how he had acquired his wisdom, and none of them would voluntarily swap places with him.

Minseok didn’t like to talk about himself much. He wasn’t one to crave for everyone’s attention, and thus he found himself being the listener much more often than the talker.

BTS’s Park Jimin was very similar to him, but also strikingly different.

He was small too, could sing well and his brain worked fast. Just like Minseok, he didn’t make himself stand out on purpose most of the time – however, there was something about him that attracted other people’s gazes.

Wherever Jimin was, a tiny crowd formed, because everyone wanted to be close to him in some way, and even though the singer had never mentioned disliking the attention, he seemed to be getting more uncomfortable.

Minseok wasn’t only good at listening, but he was perceptive, too. If something happened in his presence, no matter how subtle it was, he was bound to know.

Therefore, he wasn’t surprised at all when Jongin snuck into his room one night, as quietly as he could but not quietly enough for Minseok to miss it. The oldest member, who was currently lying on his bed, only put his book down when Jongin cleared his throat – however, he could already tell how disheartened the other was by the patters of his steps.

Jongin looked miserable. There was no trace of pain on his face, just his downcast eyes which made Minseok assume that he was worrying about something. In the last days, weeks even, he had already sensed that something was bothering Jongin, so he had expected him to show up sooner or later.

“What is it, Jongin-ah?” he quietly asked, his greeting short but voice full of warmth.

“Hyung, I- I’ve been noticing something lately and I wanted to ask you about it. I’m not sure if it’s alright to do so, though…”

“Is it something I did?” Minseok asked, although he already knew the answer.

As he waited for Jongin to respond, he pushed up his glasses which had slipped down the bridge of his nose.

“No, hyung.”

Jongin kept fidgeting, which was distracting Minseok from the matter at hand a bit.

“Come, sit down,” the older offered a spot on the edge of his bed. “Now tell me what’s worrying you.”

“It’s…”

Jongin was still hesitating, and Minseok was beginning to suspect what he was about to say.

“It’s about Jimin-ah.”

“Jimin.”

The scene made perfect sense to Minseok. Now that he thought about it, he realized that this moment had been bound to come sooner or later. Of course, it was Jongin coming to him for advice, too – in the end, he was Jimin’s oldest friend in the dorm, and he cared about the younger more than he let on.

“He hasn’t stopped by in a while,” Minseok added when Jongin stayed quiet. “The last time I saw him was…”

“…at the music show recording, I know.”

Jongin bit his lip.

“I’ve seen them all countless times since – Taemin, and Sungwoon, even Wonsik-hyung. But Jimin is never with us anymore. He does text sometimes, but he seems tired and sometimes…sometimes I think he’s avoiding us.”

“Why would he avoid you? Did you fight?”

“No, I- I’m sorry for bringing this up to you, hyung, but… I’ve been thinking for a while now that something’s…wrong. Jimin-ah has always been a bit different when it comes to staying in shape for comebacks and dieting, but it’s only gotten worse since we became friends.

“He once mentioned that he sometimes passes out, especially during comebacks, because he has to perform on an empty stomach. Usually, he only watches what he eats before a comeback, but in the last six months or so, I haven’t seen him eating at all!”

Jongin glanced at Minseok warily, so the older signaled him to go on with a curt nod.

“I don’t know if you’re the right person to ask about this, hyung, and I’m really sorry if I overstepped any of your boundaries, but…I didn’t know who else to ask. I’m really afraid that something is wrong with Jimin-ah.”

“Don’t worry about me, Jongin-ah,” Minseok calmly told the younger singer. “I’m just fine. I must say that I’ve also noticed what you just told me – Jimin-ah seems quite wary of food and he’s very careful about what he eats and when.”

“He doesn’t even take sugar with his coffee. He just drinks it black, without anything! That’s disgusting!”

Jongin’s sudden outburst made Minseok smile.

“Just because you like it sweet… But back to your problem – I can see where you’re coming from. Has anyone else ever mentioned it to you?”

“Not yet. But sometimes I feel like I can see Taemin watching him – he’s not very subtle at that… And the rest of our members must have noticed, too! Junmyeon-hyung and Kyungsoo-hyung at least!”

“For now, you should pay close attention to Jimin,” Minseok said. “If you feel that he’s unwell, try to talk to him about it. But be careful – if you’re right about this, he might react badly.”

“He hates it when we talk about food…”

“See?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, hyung. You always are. Thanks a lot!”

After Jongin had left, Minseok didn’t pick up his book immediately. For a few moments, he just kept sitting on his bed, pondering on Jongin’s words – and on Jimin.

Minseok and Jimin were close, just like Jimin was with all EXO members. They got along well when they were in a group, but they hadn’t spent any time together without the others yet. Minseok usually talked to Jimin when he was visiting one of the other members, but they weren’t exactly friends.

However, Minseok nonetheless felt like he had a connection with Jimin. It was hardly noticeable and other people would probably shake their heads at him, but sometimes Minseok felt a pull in his chest when watching Jimin.

It wasn’t painful, just a reminder of something Minseok would never forget anyway.

Minseok and Jimin were so different, but at the same time, Minseok felt they were the same. Or at least, they could be the same one day.

**************************

Jongin was the first one to ask him about Jimin, but in the next few weeks, Minseok heard a lot more people talk about the singer. Everyone seemed to be whispering, guessing, worrying.

Minseok saw Kyungsoo exchange meaningful glances with Chanyeol, he saw Sehun frown, saw Junmyeon shake his head and he watched Jongdae talk quietly to Baekhyun and Yixing.

However, the day Jimin visited their dorm, everyone seemed overjoyed to see him. There were no worried gazes following him whenever he got up from the couch, but there was an invisible tension in the air that not only Minseok seemed to notice.

Once again, EXO’s oldest was reminded of days that were long gone.

A few weeks passed and the situation didn’t improve by any means. Jongin only grew more restless and not only EXO, but their mutual friends were starting to whisper about Jimin, too.

Minseok caught a glimpse of Jimin once or twice, but the brief glance still allowed him to notice how tight the younger singer’s belt was without noticeably digging into his skin, or how baggy his sweaters and pants suddenly looked.

More and more often, Minseok felt an ache in his chest when looking at Jimin. They might not be the closest friends, but he didn’t want to watch the younger fade away like this – because it felt like he was looking at a photo album depicting himself from a few years ago, a person that had long ago been buried.

**************************

Things escalated when Minseok arrived at the dance practice room one night to find Jongin angrily demolishing some empty water bottles. The younger was in full rage, so Minseok carefully entered the room and only made his presence known after a few seconds of observing the scene.

“What happened, Jongin-ah?”

Jongin let out a frustrated growl, but the glare he shot Minseok was anything but scary. Instead, it seemed like he had gotten hurt somehow and was trying to cover it up by acting angry.

To underline his performance, Jongin spat onto the ground before grumbling, “we fought. I fought with…Jimin-ah.”

Minseok’s heart sank.

“I didn’t mean for it to end like that,” Jongin went on, the words tumbling out of his mouth so fast that his tongue could barely keep up. “We were supposed to eat out, everyone – we haven’t hung out in months!

“And then Jimin said he couldn’t come and we asked why, but he kept making up excuses…and I snapped. He had it coming for a while. I yelled at him and told him to stop pretending like he was alright, like he wasn’t falling apart, like he wasn’t starving himself to death…”

“And he got really angry and fought back. It was really dramatic, he was crying and all – in the end, he called a cab and left. Then Taemin got mad at me for confronting him like that. But what was I supposed to do, hyung?

“Watch him destroy his body? Watch him fade? I remembered…I kept remembering what that was like and I couldn’t keep it in anymore. But all I’ve done is made things worse.”

“Now, let’s calm down, Nini.”

Minseok hadn’t missed the shake in Jongin’s voice. Therefore, he used the younger’s pet name in hopes that it would soothe him a little.

“What you did wasn’t exactly smart, but I’m guessing you know that. I also know that I don’t have to tell you how difficult this situation is – for everyone. There isn’t much that we can do for Jimin if he doesn’t want any help.

“What we can do is show him we care…that we’ll wait for him no matter how long he takes. Physically…well, physically, he can be saved from hurting himself. But mentally, he will only start to heal if he believes he can. I’ve got experience.”

“Ah, hyung.”

Jongin turned his head to look at the ceiling, probably to get rid of the tears that had gathered in his eyes.

“It must suck the most for you – to be hearing about that topic all over again.”

However, Minseok shook his head.

“I’m fine with that, Nini. What really sucks, though, is someone else being in the same situation I was in all those years ago…and going through the same struggles.”

*************************

More time passed and Minseok was beginning to have a very bad feeling about this whole situation. Jongin still hadn’t made up with Jimin and the other members didn’t see him either unless they were at work.

Usually, Minseok was against forcing his help on others. He knew that most of his members and friends would come around and ask for his advice, but with Jimin, he was beginning to wonder if he should seek him out.

It wasn’t that Minseok thought he could magically solve all of Jimin’s problems by talking to him. However, he knew what it was like to be caught up in your own head, and a part of him hoped that speaking to the younger would help somehow.

However, before Minseok could make a final decision, something else happened – something he, for once, hadn’t expected.

One night, the doorbell rang unexpectedly. Most of the members had gone out, but Minseok could hear footsteps in the hallway, so he stayed put on his bed, focusing his attention on his research in front of him once again.

After that, it stayed quiet for a long time, until someone knocked against the door to Minseok’s room.

“Come in,” the eldest called with a confused frown.

“Hyung?” Again, it was Jongin sticking his head through the doorframe. “We’ve got a visitor – he would like to talk to you.”

“Huh?”

Minseok put his laptop aside as the door swung open to reveal a young man standing behind Jongin, wearing a tiny frown on his face. It took Minseok a few seconds to pinpoint why exactly the guy looked so familiar, but then it hit him.

“Kim Taehyung-ssi! What brings you here?”

Taehyung showing up at EXO’s door was unexpected to say the least – Minseok was surprised the other singer even knew where they lived. He was more than curious about the reason why BTS’s V would visit a rival group at such a late hour.

“He came to talk to us about…Jimin-ah.”

No one could miss the bitterness present in Jongin’s voice as he spoke for their visitor.

“I told him he should talk to you. So if you’re up for it…?”

“Of course! Let’s go make some tea for the three of us, then we’ll talk!”

Minseok had already gotten up and reached the kitchen before the other two men, busying himself with the old-fashioned teapot Junmyeon had received as a present from his grandparents.

“I can imagine why you’re here, since we all know bits and pieces of the story,” Minseok quietly told Taehyung, who had taken a seat at the counter. “But maybe it’ll be better if you start from the beginning, anyway.”

The younger singer nodded slowly, his posture tense yet his face showing determination.

“You’re all close to Jimin – you should have noticed he’s been acting…off. To be frank, he’s not eating.”

Taehyung pressed his lips together until they were merely a thin line.

“He’s always had issues with everything regarding his weight and his body, ever since we debuted. He’s a dancer, so he thinks he has to be skinny and light – but the problem is, he’s become completely obsessed.

“There were times before where he wouldn’t eat before a comeback, where he’d exercise too much and almost collapse. But we’re supposed to be resting, we just had a comeback and he’s only getting worse.

“Staying at the dorms is terrible because everyone keeps fighting, but when we tell him to eat, he won’t listen. He doesn’t listen at all, not even to me – he’s always listened to me…”

Taehyung trailed off and Minseok felt a wave of sympathy crash on top of him at the sad sight in front of him. He still remembered how much of a toll his own condition had taken on his members years ago, and the memory still made him feel a little guilty.

“I don’t know if Jongin-ah told you, but I’m quite experienced in that field,” Minseok carefully started to speak. “Back when we had just debuted, I was in a similar situation. I won’t go into detail, but you should know that it took me a while to get better.

“However, you should also know that nowadays, I’m fine. I’ve gotten better.”

At that point, Minseok sent Taehyung an encouraging smile, which the singer returned half-heartedly.

“And what do you think we should do?”

“Well,” Minseok sighed, “I’ve said this to Jongin before – it won’t be easy. Jimin may be really sick, and he will not get better if he doesn’t acknowledge it himself. He’s probably feeling very distressed, not only because he is forcing himself to starve but also because of your reactions.

“However, you only worry about him and I’m aware you can’t just stop doing that all of a sudden. I’ve thought about this case for a while, though, and I’m wondering if I should talk to Jimin…tell him about my own experiences. Show him that it can get better.”

“W-would you do that? Would that help?”

Taehyung sounded so hopeful that Minseok was almost afraid to answer, but he knew he had to anyway.

“Well, I can’t say for sure if it’ll help. But at this point, it’s worth a try. I’ll call Jimin up and meet him somewhere private where we can talk – and I’ll do my best to help him!”

****************************

Minseok could tell how nervous Jimin was even before the other opened his mouth. He had just arrived at the dance practice rooms where they were supposed to meet. Minseok had thought a lot about the location for their talk and he had come to the conclusion that their environment shouldn’t add on to the pressure that was weighing down on Jimin.

Therefore, he had chosen to meet somewhere where Jimin probably felt almost at home. Since there was no food involved whatsoever, Minseok had hoped to make Jimin relax a little, but the singer’s shoulders were still tense as he slipped into the room.

As carefully as possible, Minseok let his gaze wander over Jimin’s body. It had been a while since he had seen the younger, and now it became even more apparent why everyone was so worried.

Not only did Jimin look tinier than he should, drowning in his baggy exercise clothes – the bags under his eyes and his pale skin proved further how exhausted his body was. For a moment, Minseok wasn’t sure if he was only imagining it, but Jimin’s hair seemed to be thinning as well – a symptom the older of the two was all too familiar with.

“Jimin-ah,” Minseok greeted without getting up from where he was sitting against the giant mirror covering one wall.

“Why am I here, hyung?”

Unlike his words, Jimin’s tone wasn’t hostile as he spoke. He simply sounded like he looked – tired of everything.

When Minseok stayed quiet, the dancer went on, “is it about my diet again? Because if it, I’m leaving. I’ve already told everyone else, it’s none of their business. I am an adult, and I get to do what I want.”

“Let me tell you a story, Jimin-ah,” Minseok said. “Sit down and listen for a moment.”

He waited until Jimin had complied; then he began, “a few years ago, after EXO had debuted, I found that things aren’t always as easy as they are shown to be on TV. Training was hard, but being an idol was even harder.

“I became very unhappy. You’re unhappy, too, right?”

Jimin sighed in exasperation, but he still opened his mouth to talk.

“I’m stressed – of course I am. Everyone keeps telling me what to do and sticking their noses into my business. They don’t understand that I’m the one making the decisions. They don’t know how I feel.”

“Of course they don’t. But they’re worried. I was in a similar situation, so I guess I know some things. Let me tell you,” Minseok caught Jimin’s gaze for a moment, “I was unhappy. With myself. The way I was portrayed. The way I showed myself to the public. My performance. Sounds familiar, right?

“Now, I believe it is okay to doubt yourself at times, especially when you’re a singer. But the problem was, I didn’t stop there. After a while, I got that idea that I had to stand out because of my looks – mostly because I couldn’t stand out with my skill.

“But I used to gain weight easily, and I hated it. I hated it so much that I spent every minute of the day thinking up ways to get around it. To avoid becoming the chubby kid and live up to everyone’s expectations.

“It’s disgusting, but I used to purge. Every time we had a big meal, I shoved my fingers down my throat and, well, got rid of the food before it could…do any damage.”

Jimin’s eyes had slowly been widening as Minseok went on with his explanation. Now he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“But isn’t that dangerous, hyung? What did your members say?”

“It took them some time to realize something was wrong. I was really skinny at one point and liked my appearance, but then gained back all of my weight within three months and started looking chubby again. After that, I started doing it again.

“My members were really worried about me. They started to tell me what to do, much like you just described, and we fought constantly. I didn’t believe them when they told me I had a problem. I thought I was fine; I convinced myself this was the only way I could be happy.”

“How does it end?”

“What?”

“Your story.”

“I was about to get to that. Eventually, I did accept what they told me. It took me a long time, but I did come to terms with it.

“You know, as an idol, you can either be lucky or unlucky, because companies usually don’t want to admit their singers need therapy or anything like that. In general, mental illness isn’t talked about in Korea. However, I was really lucky, because my members and my manager made sure I went to see some specialists.

“They not only helped me accept that something was wrong, but assisted in solving it. Everyone did their part – some went to the gym with me, some talked to me, some helped me with eating normally…and it did work in the end.

“It was a long hard road which made all of us suffer, but look at me now. I’m fine. I’ve found a way to maintain a healthy body without doing that thing again.”

Jimin only nodded silently. He had grown quieter as Minseok’s explanation had advanced, and now, his eyes were glistening wetly.

“I’m pretty sure that you know why I’m telling you this,” Minseok went on. “I’ve always felt that we’re really similar, for a number of reasons. But there’s one point where we are definitely the same.

“Just as I was, you are surrounded by people who worry and care about you. Right now, they may be stressing you out, but over time, that can change until they are helping you. That time may seem far away at the moment, but I promise you that it will come if you want it to.

“Things can get better, Jimin-ah. If you don’t believe it, look where I am now.”

He sent Jimin, who still remained silent, an encouraging smile.

“We’re not trying to stress you out, Jimin. That’s not our goal at all.”

“That… That makes sense, hyung.”

Jimin’s voice broke at the end. He looked miserable, like he was about to break, but Minseok couldn’t be happier. After many weeks that others had spent trying to make Jimin see their point, he had finally gotten through to him.

Minseok knew that there was still a long way to go, but he hoped that Jimin now knew which direction to take at least.

The feeling of having accomplished something lasted the whole day and persisted hours after Jimin and Minseok had bid each other goodbye. The older of the two was happy. He knew Jimin would get better, and the dancer definitely deserved it.

Why else would so many people care for him? Park Jimin was a special gem who had given so much to the ones around him. Now it was their turn to give something back to him.

Chapter Text

Park Jimin was a busy man. He had always been, with friends all over the country and a family he liked to spend time with as well as a taxing job – however, none of that compared to the way his life changed when BTS became successful overseas.

To say the group had blown up would be an understatement. They had been invited to an award show and suddenly, everyone seemed to know them. BTS became the global sensation, the worldwide stars everyone dreamed of being.

And Jimin did like it. He liked being able to dance for not only a few but in front of many people. He enjoyed reading fans’ letters or meeting them at fansigns – most of them were girls who were quite a bit younger than him and he tried to make them feel good about their lives whenever he could.

Over two years ago, he had been stuck in a very dark phase himself and he liked to remind BTS’ supporters that things could get better eventually.

However, being this famous came with a downside. It meant that BTS had to go overseas all the time to release collaborations with artists that sometimes hardly seemed to care for their music. It meant that he couldn’t put on a facemask and walk through the streets of Seoul like some other idols could because even then, he would surely be recognized due to the fact that his face was plastered all over the walls and windows of beauty stores and clothing shops.

When he was working, Jimin got little sleep and the constant pressure left him exhausted, both physically and mentally. Lying on his bed at the dorms, he wished he could go out with his friends just once – hanging out with other people had always made him feel energized, but nowadays he was too busy to meet his friends regularly and his own members were just as tired as he was.

That was what Jimin hated about his job. He felt like he was letting people down, not his fans but those who had done much more for him than anyone else ever. He hated having to tell them he didn’t have time to meet up because they had given him so much and he was returning so little.

Yet for some reason Jimin couldn’t figure out, they still kept in touch with him like he wasn’t rejecting them all the time. Despite everything, he still knew who he could call at 01:00 am when his mind was in a dark place and he didn’t know how to deal with it.

When their management announced they would get a three months break, Jimin couldn’t have been happier. He knew he would have to power through these last few weeks of interviews and concerts, but after that he would be free for the first time in years.

Maybe the anticipation made him underestimate the amount of strength he would need to get through the weeks before his holiday. It seemed like he was constantly running and the world around him was moving so fast that he could hardly remember which date it was.

Whenever he and his members arrived at a schedule, time had long ago run out it seemed and they were shooed to their next photoshooting like a herd of geese, their faces already being painted on before they had even sat down.

One of their managers came into the room and clapped his hands, to make sure the everyone was listening – even Jungkook, who had fallen asleep seconds after arriving.

“Okay, listen up everyone!” the man spoke in a booming voice that made Jimin’s head hurt just the slightest bit. “Our schedule’s a bit tight today but you already know how things work. You’re getting your make-up and clothing done; the shoot lasts for about an hour, then we’re off to rehearsals at the arena. At 05:30 we’ve got an appointment with the press and afterwards it’s soundcheck. The concert starts at 08:00.”

It took Jimin’s sluggish mind a few seconds to realize something was missing from their schedule. He bit his lip – it wasn’t nice to be the one questioning what their manager had said, yet he knew he had to ask.

“When will we eat?”

The man in the middle of the room frowned, glanced down at the paper he was holding in his hands before he shook his head.

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to eat right before the concert.”

“But that’s not what we agreed on,” Namjoon suddenly piped up. “Usually we have at least an hour somewhere in-between, and we’ve abandoned that policy enough times during the past few weeks.”

“There’s no time. I’m sorry, but I can’t change anything about it now.”

It seemed like Namjoon wanted to speak up again, like the responsible leader he was, but for the sake of everyone in the room, Jimin quickly raised a hand to keep him quiet.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

He knew he probably shouldn’t be doing this, not after being forced to skip so many full meals lately, but Jimin knew how stressed his members were. He would not put additional pressure onto their backs by complaining about their schedule.

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asked, and Jimin nodded as convincingly as he could.

“I am. Don’t worry about me, hyung.”

__________________________________

Jimin should have insisted on changing their schedule. That was what he realized after the concert when he was in his hotel rooms and the hunger pains in his stomach were strong enough to make him double over.

At the same time, he knew he couldn’t eat anything now. It was already past midnight and experience had taught him that his stomach wouldn’t take anything in after that time mark, like it was also running on a schedule.

In a way, it was. For years, Jimin had been following a plan that controlled his diet, so that he could be sure he was eating enough. It hadn’t always been easy, but with the help of his members, his friends and the staff, he had somehow managed to get better.

Now, his regimen was a lot more loose than it had been in the beginning, which was why their managers seemed to think that it was fine if Jimin didn’t get his 60 minutes to eat anymore – but in reality, it wasn’t fine because Jimin may have recovered from starving himself, but the old demons were still constant companions of his.

Even now, they whispered to him, told him that he was better off like this, that he wouldn’t feel as gross tomorrow morning, that he was finally accomplishing something.

And even if Jimin knew better than to listen to them, he found it increasingly hard to tune out their malicious voices and go to sleep.

Jimin was tired to the bone, but he could shut his eyes all he wanted, sleep just wouldn’t come to him. He turned over in his bed and the discomfort he was in was only growing – he didn’t know anymore what was right or what was wrong, if the hunger was a bad or a good thing.

Finally, he reached for his phone and dialed a familiar number. The light from the small screen was blinding him, but he still kept his eyes wide open until the picture in front of him changed – the other person had picked up.

“Jimin-ah? Why are you calling this late?”

“Hyung,” Jimin breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thanks for picking up. I’m sorry for bothering you at night, but my thoughts are going wild and I don’t know how to handle it. Please help me.”

“I can try,” Junmyeon responded without hesitating for a second. “Can you tell me what happened?”

So Jimin told him – about their schedule and the fact that he didn’t have enough time to eat anymore because he always took too long clearing his plate. But his friends never complained about that, they knew as well as he did that he couldn’t change his behavior, that it wasn’t his fault he had to eat slowly.

He also talked about the hunger pains he had been getting and the voices that told him he was finally doing something right. It was the first time for him to mention such things to Junmyeon, but the older didn’t interrupt him.

When Jimin was done talking after a very long time, the pains in his stomach had already began to subside. He rolled over onto his side on the bed, hugging his bunched up blanket to his chest with his phone still pressed against his ear.

“Thanks for telling me, Jimin-ah,” was the first thing Junmyeon said. “I’m sorry you have to go through that. Our schedules are already tough during promotion time, but I can’t even imagine how it has to be for you. How is everyone else holding up?”

Glad that he could talk about something other than him and his feelings, Jimin eagerly explained, “they’re all super tired of course. Yoongi-hyung has trouble sleeping even when we’re at home, so it’s even worse right now. And Namjoon-hyung is really stressed. Taehyung-ah too. At this point, we really just need a break.”

“I heard you’re getting one soon.”

“Oh, who told you?”

Junmyeon let out a small chuckle.

“I talked to Yixing. He’s flying over to Korea in a few weeks and excitedly told me how he can’t wait to meet up with you.”

“I haven’t seen hyung in months. I really missed him.”

Jimin sighed as he was painfully reminded of the fact that he kept turning down his friends on a daily basis. Junmyeon was one of them – suddenly, he began to wonder if the older was only listening to him because it would have been impolite to hang up.

“You might like to hear that Minseok and Kyungsoo are both taking a few vacation days to come see us,” Junmyeon went on as if nothing was wrong, though Jimin was beginning to doubt that. “Jongdae and the rest are very excited. They wouldn’t stop talking about how much they have starved since Kyungsoo enlisted. You’d think they just love his cooking.”

Despite the thoughts that were plaguing him, Jimin couldn’t suppress a giggle. It was true that Kyungsoo’s cooking was godly, but both Jimin and Junmyeon knew that wasn’t the only reason why the EXO members and the general public of South Korea were so fond of the tiny man.

“What about Jongin-hyung and Baek-hyung?” Jimin asked, a smile still lingering on his face. “I spoke to Taemin-hyung and he told me all about their project with NCT’s Mark and the others. But he didn’t mention any vacation.”

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a bit harder to convince Lee Sooman-nim to let them rest with us for a bit,” Junmyeon sighed. “Luckily, we’ve got Taeminnie on our side. He’s got our CEO all wrapped around his little finger. He just has to make one comment and Lee Sooman will give them all a few days off.”

“Lucky!” Jimin grinned at the thought of one of his oldest friends. “I wish it was that easy for us. Bang PD-nim loves us, but sadly, the schedules are booked and he isn’t almighty.”

“How are your new labelmates doing, by the way? Their debut was really promising – at this rate, we’re gonna be overtaken by a rookie group,” Junmyeon joked.

“Ahhh, they’re the cutest. Last week, Taehyun-ah visited us and told me that…”

The two of them kept chit-chatting on and on for a while. It was so easy for Jimin to forget how he was taking from his friend yet again, so easy to push the guilt to the back of his head. However, it came back with a vengeance when Jimin heard Junmyeon yawn on the other side of the line and a glance at the clock confirmed it was 3:00 AM by now.

“Let’s stop here, hyung,” Jimin quickly said, top teeth gnawing at his lip. “I didn’t mean to keep you awake.”

“Nonsense, Jimin-ah!” Junmyeon, being the good soul he was, retorted. “I really enjoyed talking to you, and I hope I could ease your worries a bit. I may not be as good as Minseok, but…”

“No, hyung, don’t worry. You’re perfect! I really want to thank you, and…I’m sorry.”

For a little while, it was quiet. Then, Junmyeon said, “don’t be sorry, Jimin-ah.”

It seemed like silence would settle over them after that, but right when Jimin was about to end the call, Junmyeon piped up again.

“Sunday in three weeks. Save that date. We’re gonna have a big get-together with everyone. It’d be great if you could come. Maybe Luhan will be there as well if we’re lucky, who knows.”

“Sure, hyung.”

As he agreed, Jimin mentally marked the date in his calendar. This time, he wouldn’t let his friends down. He would do anything to make sure he could come and see them that day, no matter what it would take from him.

To him, this day felt like a last chance to prove he treasured his friends. He wouldn’t disappoint them.

__________________________________

It was Sunday, three weeks after Jimin’s late night call to Junmyeon. To say that BTS’ lead singer was nervous would be an understatement.

Somehow, Jimin had made it through the last two weeks of working non-stop, of skipping one or more meals a day, of being snapped at by everyone around him and flipping them off because their neverending questions were making his skin crawl.

Then, the long period of work had finally come to an end, and Jimin had found himself unable to rest properly. It was almost like his body had completely forgotten what it was like to laze around, to be in a constant state of calm without being aroused.

He had made an effort to eat a bit more each meal, to gain back at least a few of the many pounds he had lost over the last six months. He had seen his therapist once during the last week and when Jimin had told him about his restlessness, the man had told him he would have to wait it out.

Lying awake for hours at night before finally going to sleep gave Jimin more time to overthink things. He was aware that he hadn’t been the most reliable friend, but after going over the few memories he had made with his friends outside of the group within the last year – most of them over the phone, not in person – he realized that with how busy he had been and how much he had retreated, the get-together on Sunday could turn out to be a disaster.

The day before, every fiber in Jimin’s body was screaming at him to call Junmyeon and cancel. It would be so much easier to just stay home, maybe watch a movie with Taehyung or annoy Yoongi a bit, because Jimin knew his members were still comfortable with him.

However, he couldn’t bring himself to make the call. Maybe, he was wrong and his friends didn’t hate him yet – if he ditched them know, they surely would, though.

So he did nothing except clench his teeth and hope he would make it through tomorrow.

Jimin was in front of EXO’s dorm ten minutes before six – that meant ten minutes early, ten minutes he would have to spend outside so as not to arrive early. At least he wouldn’t be late, though – but would it seem suspicious if he showed up right on time?

What if someone guessed that he had been waiting outside.

Gnawing at his bottom lip anxiously, Jimin watched the seconds tick by. It was nearing six o’clock and Jimin knew he would soon have to ring the doorbell, a thought that made his stomach churn with anxiety.

“Hey, Jimin-ah!”

There it was, the voice calling out to him that Jimin had dreaded. Someone had caught him waiting outside being the coward he was, although it was not who Jimin had expected.

He turned around to face Luhan, who was walking towards him with a brilliant smile on his face. He was carrying two grocery bags, one of which he set down to greet Jimin with a brief one-armed hug.

The younger singer was slightly surprised by the gesture but went along with it. He had talked to Luhan in passing over the phone once or twice, but they hadn’t met in person ever since Jimin had become friends with the remaining members of EXO.

“Did the doorbell not work again?” Luhan cheerily asked as he pressed the right button without hesitation. “Chanyeol told me they’ve been meaning to get it replaced for ages, but nothing ever happens.”

Baffled, Jimin gave a nod.

Soon enough, Luhan was able to open the door and the two of them stepped inside to take the elevators instead of walking up the many flights of stairs leading to the dorms.

“Junmyeon is gonna be so happy about seeing you!” Luhan said as they were going up. “The others, too. I’ve heard it’s been a while since you last came over.”

Being reminded of how bad of a friend he was once again only made Jimin more nervous, but he nodded nonetheless, trying to hide the fact that he was absolutely terrified of finding out how everyone would treat him after such a long time.

Luhan, however, didn’t seem to notice a thing, as he just went on chatting.

“Well, I can’t talk since it’s been years since I last set foot into the apartment. I wasn’t even sure if I could be here today but Yixing practically kidnapped me and dragged me all the way to Korea. They’ve been smothering me with their affection ever since, so that’s why I went out to get the groceries Kyungsoo was missing.”

His rant was cut short by the elevator doors opening, revealing the familiar front door Jimin still remembered all too well despite not having been here in months. Luhan didn’t even have to knock before the door was opened, revealing Minseok with a backwards basecap hiding his buzz cut.

The oldest member beamed at Luhan and motioned for him to go inside; then his gaze landed on Jimin. The singer’s breath got stuck in his throat.

For a moment, he felt like running away rather than staying right under Minseok’s nose, with the older’s face giving none of his thoughts or emotions away. His staring probably only lasted for a second, but to Jimin it felt like hours that he had to stand there, not knowing if Minseok still saw him as a friend or not.

Then, suddenly, the singer reached forward to pull Jimin into a hug. He had always been a lot stronger than he looked and the army hadn’t changed him by one bit. Jimin was almost like a rag doll in Minseok’s arms, except for the fact that he was being handled a lot more gently.

“Jimin-ah, I’ve missed you!” Minseok told him in a quiet yet sincere tone as he squeezed the younger tightly. “How are you? Junmyeon told me about your phone call a few weeks ago. Have you been able to resolve that issue since then?”

“Hyung.”

Jimin couldn’t help feeling utterly surprised about the way Minseok was treating him. It felt like nothing had changed, like they were just friends who hadn’t seen each other in a very long time.

Wasn’t that what they were, though?

Jimin was still stuck in his own head when Minseok let go of him to pull him into the apartment.

“But you do look really healthy considering your tough schedule!” he commented as Jimin bent down to take his shoes off. “You worked really hard.”

“I kinda tried to eat more during the last week since I had to skip a few meals because of our full schedule.”

Jimin couldn’t help the blush that crept up his face. Hearing Minseok praise him for something so simple had made him flustered, yet he knew the older man meant every single one of his words. He had been through this before, had been the one to give Jimin a final push many many months ago, and he always cared about Jimin’s wellbeing.

“Jimin-ah!”

Meanwhile, Chanyeol had scurried into the hallway, probably to take the grocery bags from Luhan to deliver them to Kyungsoo, but he stopped on his tracks when he spotted Jimin, his grin mirroring the big smile Minseok was still wearing.

“Chanyeol-hyung, hello!”

As things had been so easy with Minseok and Chanyeol was friendlier than anyone Jimin knew, he felt himself loosen up a little. Once again, he was crushed in a giant hug as he approached Chanyeol, who proceeded to tell him just how much he had missed him and how he had seen him on TV so many times and thought of him.

A bit sheepishly, Jimin shuffled into the living room a few moments later on padded feet. He tried not to draw any attention to himself, but that was impossible since Baekhyun let out a loud screech as soon as he spotted him.

The singer practically lurched at Jimin and would have taken him down, hadn’t it been for Minseok steadying the two of them.

“Baekhyun-ah,” the oldest member scolded with a light laugh. “Be careful.”

“But Jimin!” Baekhyun responded with puppy-eyes, as if that explained everything.

“What about me?”

“I haven’t seen you in so long. I’m Jimin-deprived.”

Baekhyun whined and kept clinging to Jimin as he turned to Yixing and Sehun, who had approached quietly.

“Hi, hyungs,” he greeted them and once again, he was pulled into a hug by both of them.

Nothing had changed, Jimin realized as he made his way to the kitchen where the rest of them were supposed to be. Nothing had changed between them after all this time, at least it seemed that way.

Junmyeon, Jongdae, Jongin and even Kyungsoo were ecstatic when Jimin joined them. The latter smiled so much that his open mouth turned heart-shaped and Jimin’s chest felt warm. Not for the last time that night, he was almost smothered to death by the other three and Junmyeon made sure to ask if he was feeling better.

Since the kitchen was warm and Jongin had quite a tight grip on him, Jiminr decided to stay until Kyungsoo kicked them out. He enjoyed the lighthearted banter between the EXO members like he had back when he hadn’t been as busy, he watched their smiles and realized happily how relaxed they all seemed.

Of course, the food was phenomenal as well. Kyungsoo served them the best barbecue they had had in a while and afterwards, they were all sprawled out in the living room, chatting about Luhan’s and Yixing’s lives in China, about the military training Kyungsoo and Minseok had undergone, about BTS’ success and Super M’s debut (“We wanted to invite Taemin-ah, too, but he’d rather go on a vacation with Kibum-hyung,” Jongin explained with a pout).

Jimin quickly forgot about all the worries he had previously had about meeting EXO after such a long time, and they only came back to him later, when everyone had quietened down a bit.

They were now talking in small groups of three, sometimes just two. Jimin had ended up in one corner of the couch with Jongin, and they were just talking the way they used to do back when Jimin hadn’t known the others yet.

Suddenly, it occurred to him that he and Jongin had been friends with each other for a very long time. They had shared many memories and good laughs and even now, after many months of being unable to spend time together, Jongin’s eyes were soft and full of fondness.

Jimin felt utterly curious. He knew he probably shouldn’t have asked, but the words slipped out of his mouth before he could hold them back.

“Why do you still care about me so much?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Jongin seemed completely taken aback by the question and Jimin couldn’t blame him – he hadn’t exactly given a warning before blurting it out.

“You know, I’ve not exactly been a good friend in the past few months. Always busy, had to cancel on you guys all the time, stuff like that. I was wondering why you all still want me around. After all, you’ve helped me so much, you still do, but you don’t get anything in return from me. I-“

“What was that?” Jongin interrupted him, a deep frown on his face.

“Uh…what do you mean?”

Jimin was confused. Jongin crossed his arms.

“That part about you not giving us anything back.”

“But I-“

“Jimin-ah,” the older sighed deeply. “It’s about time you realized this, but…to us, it doesn’t feel like that. I became friends with you because I liked the way you made me feel. You’re always so warm to people, always ready to praise – to genuinely say nice things. You made me feel like I was important.

“For the others, it’s like that as well. Hell, you even cracked Kyungsoo’s shell, which is a pretty hard thing to do. Do you think he would have opened up to you if you were a complete asshole, someone who only takes but never gives?”

“N-no…”

“See! Look, Jimin, to us, you’ve done just as amazing things as you think we have done. We all care about you. We wanted you to be happy when you were in a dark place, and nothing has changed since then. You’re our friend. You make us feel happy, so don’t you dare say it’s any different!”

“Jongin-hyung?”

After a long time, Jimin said the older’s name, but this time, he felt utterly calm and peaceful. Jongin’s monologue had resolved the knot in his chest and the older had been nothing but genuine, that much Jimin had been able to tell from his tone.

“What is it?”

Jongin seemed ready to fight him if he dared to disagree again, but Jimin just smiled and took his hand, which was adorned by a silver cross ring.

“Thank you, hyung,” he quietly said. “For everything.”

Now, Jongin smiled too.

“Thank you, Jimin-ah. For everything.”

Park Jimin had long ago become part of the EXO family – nothing could change that.