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“Ha! Magnus, look!”
Magnus was finishing up his carton of chocolate milk, as he looked up at Catarina.
Catarina was holding hands with a boy that Magnus had never seen before…
And the boy quietly waved towards Magnus.
Magnus returned his wave, just as silent.
“He’s my one.” Catarina excitedly grinned, before placing a wet kiss on the boy’s cheek—
The boy grimaced, before he crossed his arms against his chest. “Gross, Cat! I told you, that’s grown-up stuff.”
Magnus lightly chuckled at the boy’s remark, before leaning across the lunchroom table. “What’s your name?”
“Ragnor Fell.” The boy shrugged, as he pulled out his lunchbox. “And I just turned eight. How old are you?”
“Nine and a half.” Magnus sighed, before sinking further into his seat.
“Nine and a half? But…where’s your one?” Ragnor openly glanced around the room, before pointing towards a blonde girl with tight pigtails. “Is it her?”
“I don’t…I don’t know…” Magnus’ words came out as a whisper, as he looked over at Catarina. “But it’s good that you found your one, Catarina. I’m happy for you.”
Magnus managed to fake a smile after the lie escaped his lips.
He wasn’t happy for Catarina…
Because he wasn’t happy at all.
For Magnus’ entire life, he’d been told that he would know of his one, his one and only soulmate, by his tenth birthday.
And if they’d had the misfortune of being born in different parts of the world, it didn’t truly matter—
They’d still be able to feel each other’s souls, enough to naturally draw them to each other…
But Magnus hadn’t felt a thing.
He was beginning to wonder if he was the only person who’d ever been born without a one…
Maybe he didn’t deserve to have a one.
His mother had been rather upset with him for making a mess out of his bedroom last night…
Maybe this was the punishment he’d earned, after all.
Magnus’ heart ached inside his chest, as he crumpled a napkin between his fingers, trying to distract himself from the pain.
“Did you do your language homework last night?” Catarina whined, nearly directly into Magnus’ ear. “Can I copy?”
Her question snapped Magnus away from his thoughts, as he smiled over at his friend. “Always and forever, Catarina Loss.”
Catarina beamed back at Magnus, while he hastily rifled through his backpack—
And soon, he’d forgotten all about never finding his one, as he and Ragnor spent the rest of their lunchtime avidly discussing their favorite dinosaurs—
While Catarina silently copied Magnus’ answers onto her own sheet of paper.
******************
Magnus woke up in the middle of the night, surrounded by his pitch-black bedroom.
His heart suddenly felt like it was racing at a million miles per minute—
He was worried that it was going to thump itself right out of his little chest.
Magnus reached for the lamp on his bedside table, quickly brightening the room—
And that’s when he saw him for the first time.
There was another little boy, with light skin and hazel eyes, sitting cross-legged in the middle of Magnus’ bedroom.
Magnus’ eyes went towards his bedroom window—
But the window was still firmly locked into its place.
Strange…
If the window was still untouched, how did this stranger get into his bedroom, in the first place?
“Who are you?” Magnus kept his voice low, as he peered over at the boy. “Do you go to my school?”
“Who am I?” The little boy scoffed back at Magnus, before rising to his feet. “Who are you? You’re the one in my bedroom!”
“What? No! You’re the one in my bedroom!” Magnus wildly waved his hands around the room. “Unless…Oh no….Did you live here before? Are you…Are you a ghost?”
Magnus’ skin went ice cold, as he subtly moved away from the boy, pressing his back firmly against his headboard.
The boy loudly laughed, before taking a few steps towards Magnus’ bed. “You’re funny.”
“Thanks.” Magnus shrugged, while still keeping his back against the wooden frame. “I’m Magnus.”
“I’m Alec.” Alec softly sighed, as he crossed his arms behind his back.
“You look…rich.” Magnus looked the boy up and down, inspecting his suspiciously fancy nightwear. “You probably don’t go to my school, then, huh? Since it’s a public school and everything…”
Alec firmly shook his head. “I go to private school in New York.”
“Oh! I’ve got a book about New York!” Magnus excitedly reached under his mattress, easily slipping out a large guidebook. He pointed to one of the beautifully colored photos, as he looked back over at Alec.
“Does Times Square really look like that?” Magnus squinted at the photo, while humming underneath his breath. “My mom said she’d take me someday, but my stepdad won’t let her…he’s such an asshole.”
“Sorry about your stepdad.” Alec leaned down towards the book, staring closely at the page. “And yeah! Times Square looks exactly like that at night.”
“Oh, wait! Look at the next page, too! They have a picture of it during the day. Does it really look like this, too—” Magnus handed the book over to Alec—
But the book landed with a thud against Magnus’ bedroom floor.
And Alec had somehow completely disappeared…
“Magnus? Magnus!” Magnus’ mother rushed into the room, her voice filled with concern. “Sweetheart, are you okay? I thought I heard something.”
Magnus couldn’t hide his confusion, as he nodded towards his book on the floor. “There was…um…a kid came to visit me, I think. But he’s…gone now.”
“A kid came to visit you?” Magnus’ mother took a soft seat on Magnus’ bed. “Magnus, what do you mean?”
“He just…came out of nowhere…I was showing him my New York book…”
“What’s all this, then?” Magnus’ stepdad came into his bedroom, with an already annoyed look on his face. “Magnus, what could you possibly be up to now?”
“I didn’t do anything! There was a kid in my room! I don’t know where he came from!” Magnus’ frustration showed through his voice, as he rolled his eyes at his stepdad. “But it’s always my fault, isn’t it?”
“Sweetheart…wait…” Magnus’ mother pressed her hand over Magnus’ heart, while whispering something to herself. “Oh…Oh, Magnus! Your heart’s absolutely racing! I think you may have found your—”
“No.” Magnus’ stepdad shook his head, as he shot a threatening look over towards Magnus. “Didn’t Magnus say the kid was a he? Sorry, Magnus. No way that kid is your one. It doesn’t work that way.”
Magnus’ mother now wore a saddened expression, before she turned back towards his stepdad. “But there can always be exceptions—”
“There are no exceptions.” Magnus’ stepdad turned around, already heading back to the master bedroom. “And you are much too old for imaginary friends, Magnus. You’re almost ten. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Magnus’ mother pulled him into a rather tight embrace, before kissing her son on his temple. “I’m sorry, Magnus. Maybe…maybe you’ll just have to find your one…the old-fashioned way. Nothing’s wrong with that, you know. That’s how I found your stepfather, after your dad passed away…”
Magnus’ mother offered her son a slight, sorrowful smile, as she rose away from his bed. “I promise you’ll find them, someday, Magnus. Whoever they are.”
While his mother quietly left his bedroom, Magnus’ focus went back to the guidebook, its pages still sprawled across the floor—
The longer he stared at the guidebook, the faster his heart seemed to beat and beat and beat…
If he didn’t know any better, he’d even start to think that the book wanted him to go to New York.
Right this very minute.
Instead, Magnus turned out his bedroom lights—
Turned right back around in his snug, little bed—
And tried his very best to forget all about the strange visit from the boy with hazel eyes…
******************
Magnus had managed to keep himself from crying on the car ride home.
His mother’s funeral had felt like a waking nightmare…
All the condolences and prayers began to blend together, creating a cacophony of pressure, somewhere directly behind Magnus’ forehead.
He could still remember the hopeless look on the doctor’s face, too…
When he'd quietly told Magnus and his stepdad that his mother wasn’t going to make it…
Magnus snapped back into reality with a shaky breath.
And he silently prayed for numbness, as he slid underneath his bedsheets.
His stepfather had been trying to comfort Magnus, even though it brought Magnus no comfort at all.
He kept insisting that since Magnus was thirteen now, then he was already a man...
He kept insisting that Magnus didn't need his mother anymore.
That Magnus' mother had already given Magnus everything he would ever need.
But Magnus didn’t believe a word of it.
And tonight, he cried out for his mother, as the pain took over his chest.
In the midst of his weeping, Magnus felt a soft arm wrap around his waist, and the distinct feeling of someone’s face pressed against his back.
“Why are you crying?” The voice was low, as the words were spoken against Magnus’ spine. “What’s wrong?”
“My mom…she…she died…” As Magnus said the phrase out loud, his gasping sobs began all over again—
But this time, Alec’s hand tenderly turned Magnus’ chin back towards him—
And he wordlessly stared into Magnus’ eyes. “Whatever you’re feeling…it’s okay…it’s okay…”
As yet another sob tore through Magnus, he reflexively looked away from Alec—
But, once again, Alec softly turned Magnus’ head back towards him, as Alec began to gently wipe away Magnus’ tears with his fingertips.
“Stay. Please. Stay.” Magnus’ voice cracked with sorrow, as he looked over at Alec. “I don’t care if you’re not real…I just…I don’t want to be alone…I can’t be alone…”
“I’ll stay…I’ll stay…” Alec’s tone was steady and calm, while he moved back into his original position, situated with his face snuggled into Magnus’ spine…
And Magnus and Alec fell asleep, just that way, month after month after month...
Long enough for the pain of losing his mother to slowly fade down into his bones, no longer causing Magnus to so easily break apart.
Long enough for Magnus’ stepdad to question the lively conversation emanating from Magnus’ bedroom so late at night.
Long enough for Magnus’ newly assigned therapist to suggest that maybe "Alec" was just Magnus' response to living in a stressful home environment. Maybe Magnus had created "Alec" as a way to escape, a way to always have a friend in his corner…
And so, at the incessant behest of his therapist and stepdad, Magnus began to will "Alec" to not appear, trying his best to put up walls around his head—
And his heart—
And one night, Alec did not return.
Magnus felt like weeping that same night, too.
The same way he’d wept for his mother…
Like he’d lost someone else that he loved.
But, instead, Magnus forced himself to sleep through the loneliest night of his life.
**************************
“Voila!” Catarina spun Magnus around, so that he now faced his bathroom mirror—
And Magnus’ eyes soon lit up with genuine excitement. “Oh my God! Catarina! You did it! You actually did it!”
“Wait, Magnus. Did you think that I couldn’t do it?” Catarina raised a hand to her chest in mock offense. “I told you that I could totally dye your tips lipstick red! I’ve been watching tutorials online!”
“Hmm. True. I probably should’ve had more faith in you. You’ve always been so good at copying.” Magnus winked over at Catarina, before happily running his fingers through his hair. “This looks amazing, babe. Now, if I could just get someone to actually ask me out…”
“You don’t need a date for prom, Magnus. You’re our date. And me and Ragnor are very happy to have you.”
“Right, because everybody loves a third wheel…”
“Magnus, you’re not a third wheel. You’re like…our third arm.” Catarina blew out a breath, as she washed her hands in the sink. “It’s always been the three of us, Magnus. We wouldn’t know what to do if it was just us two, anyway.”
“Uh, Catarina? I think Ragnor might have some plans about what you two would do if you actually had a moment to yourselves.”
“And that’s my cue to leave!” Catarina gave Magnus a swift hug goodbye, before stepping out of his bathroom. “Anytime you start getting all nosy about my sex life, I know it’s time to go.”
“I just want to make sure that you’re being safe!” Magnus yelled out as Catarina made her way down the hallway. “I’m not ready to be an uncle, Catarina!”
Catarina’s giggling echoed back down the hall, and Magnus smirked to himself, happy to have made her laugh.
He then turned back towards the bathroom mirror—
But there was someone else, standing in his reflection.
The stranger was nervously fixing his tie, while mumbling something under his breath…
Magnus’ hand immediately went to his chest, his heart suddenly pounding, heavy and consistent…
And that’s when he knew that this wasn’t a stranger at all…
Alec’s eyes eventually moved towards Magnus, as he stared up at Magnus’ hair.
“Wow.” Alec’s words were quiet, before he brought his focus back to Magnus’ face. “You look…um…you look…”
“Like a total weirdo?” Magnus offered to complete Alec’s sentence, as Magnus took in Alec’s current look as well.
Alec was all dressed up in his tuxedo and black slacks…
And Magnus thought that Alec looked absolutely beautiful.
“No, Magnus…you look…” Alec paused for a second, almost as if he was taking the time to catch his breath. “You’re just…perfect.”
There was a knock coming from the other side of the mirror—
As someone impatiently banged against Alec’s bathroom door.
“Sorry. That’s probably my sister…which means, my prom date’s probably here.” Alec let out a tired sigh, while speedily putting his arms through his jacket.
“Your date?” Magnus tried to keep his tone steady, as he watched Alec rush to get out the door. “Is he…is she…your one?”
“Yes.” That was Alec’s last phrase, before he headed out his own bathroom door, leaving Magnus’ reflection empty—
And leaving Magnus completely somber.
Magnus didn’t even know why he felt like crying.
He knew that Alec was the product of his own overactive imagination.
And, well, if that was truly the case…
Maybe it was time for Magnus to finally grow up.
Maybe seeing Alec again was just a trick that Magnus’ brain was playing on him, trying its best to retain the glory days of his childhood—
Before Magnus headed off to college in the fall.
Magnus sniffled a few times, processing the painful loss of his imaginary friend, right along with the rest of his foolish youth—
And then, Magnus headed out his own bathroom, door, too, needing to finish getting ready for prom night—
So that he could be the most fabulous third wheel that history had ever seen.
************************
New York City had chewed Magnus Bane up—
And spit him right back out.
At 21 years old, he was already working for one of the most exclusive, designer clothing labels in the city—
And at 25 years old, he’d already been promoted, then fired, then promoted, then fired, then promoted from that exact same label...
His work life was a seemingly never-ending source of stress.
Like Magnus was stuck on the world’s shittiest emotional roller-coaster.
And to top it all off, he was now a young divorcee.
He walked into the nearest coffeeshop, desperately needing to recover from his Divorce Party hangover…
Catarina had insisted on getting Magnus wasted when Camille finally signed their divorce papers, wanting to make Magnus lose every memory he had of his ex-wife.
And although Magnus had certainly tried to drown out his memories of Camille with enough vodka to fill up an entire bar—
It still stung when he thought about her.
Even though he never thought she was his one, they often had moments where Camille felt close enough.
At least until she cheated on him.
Magnus inwardly groaned, as he approached the cashier. “Hey…can I get…a coffee?”
“Sure, sir! What kind would you like?” The cashier beamed back at Magnus, as she slightly adjusted her apron.
Magnus squinted over at the girl, his brain trying to find an answer to her very simple question…
But his brain was coming up short, as his thoughts sporadically fizzled and faded away.
Fuck.
What the fuck was in that vodka?
“Uh…I will take…something…hot…” Magnus nodded, as if his answer made complete sense. “Yes. The hottest thing you have.”
“Uh, sir? Everything we have is hot. It’s coffee.” The girl lightly laughed, before pointing up at the signage behind her. “Maybe you should take your time looking over the menu?”
“Oh, come on.” There was a disgruntled voice coming from behind Magnus, followed by a very loud sigh. “Is this your first time at a coffeeshop or something? See, this is why I fucking hate tourists—”
Magnus quickly turned towards the voice, ready to let the voice’s owner know that they were, indeed, a rude, fucking asshole—
But as his eyes landed on Alec, Magnus felt his heart racing faster than the speed of light.
Alec had been holding onto a briefcase, but it seemed to instantly fall to the floor, once his eyes locked with Magnus', too.
“How….?” Alec cautiously reached a hand towards Magnus’ face, as he proceeded to thoughtfully caress Magnus’ skin. “But you’re not…you’re not real…”
“Don’t you mean you’re not real?” Magnus grinned up at Alec, as he instinctively leaned into Alec’s still caressing hand. “I’m fairly certain that you’re a vodka-induced daydream, but it’s still nice seeing you.”
“Can we…Can I…take you…somewhere?” Alec’s words came out a bit muddled, his breathing turning ragged and entirely offbeat. “Have lunch with me…Maybe?”
Magnus gently chuckled, while he reached for one of Alec’s hands, taking it into his own palm. “Sure. I’ll have lunch with you. Anything for an old, imaginary friend.”
*************
“Wait. So, your parents told you that I was your imaginary friend, too?” Magnus’ jaw hung open in shock, before he took a bite out of his classic New York hot-dog. “What the hell? Why the hell?”
“Yeah, I guess they just…didn’t want us to be…true.” Alec lightly smiled, before casually wiping a bit of mustard from Magnus’ chin—
And just-as-casually licking it off his finger. “To be fair, they probably just wanted me to be their own version of normal…wanted me to settle down and meet a nice girl…They probably even thought that they were helping things. Keeping me away from the riff-raff."
“Hey! I’m not riff-raff.” Magnus scrunched up his face, causing Alec to break out into a laugh.
“No, you’re not riff-raff, Magnus. You are…something else…” Alec shifted slightly closer to Magnus, his heart starting to flutter with memories of holding Magnus through the night.
“Oh, and by the way, I tried the whole ‘being normal’ thing. I had the prettiest girl in the city, not to mention the prettiest loft in the city…Didn’t work out for me, though.” Magnus balled up the leftover aluminum foil from his lunch, before aiming it towards the nearest trashcan.
“Oh. Uh, you like…girls?” Alec’s cheeks were flushing with his nerves, as he anxiously looked over at Magnus. “I just thought…if we were…each other’s one—”
Magnus interrupted Alec’s nervous thoughts with a swift kiss to the lips.
Alec happily returned the sentiment, as he wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist.
Magnus pulled away from their kiss, his eyes now beaming up at Alec. “Hey…Why’d you lie to me?”
“What?”
“Back in high school? You said that your prom date was your one. Why’d you lie?”
“Because I was madly in love with someone who I didn’t think actually existed…And I needed to make you go away, so I could maybe try being in love with someone who actually existed.” Alec openly laughed, as he looked down into Magnus’ eyes. “Magnus, the way you make me feel…the way you’ve always made me feel…it’s so different…it’s so terrifying…I think I loved you from the first moment I saw you, even if I was too young to understand it."
“I think I loved you, too.” Magnus playfully kissed the very center of Alec’s neck. “And one more thing. You never quite got around to answering my question…”
“And what question was that?” Alec idly ran his fingers through Magnus’ hair, as if he’d done it a million times before.
“Does Times Square really look the same as it does in the guidebook's picture? You know, during the day?”
“Magnus, don’t you live here? You’ve had to have seen Times Square a bunch of times by now.”
“Yeah, but not with you.” Magnus shrugged, as he began to walk away from the park they’d been visiting. “Come on. We’ll do a quick stop at my place so I can grab my old guidebook. I want to see if the real thing matches up."
“Magnus, no.” Alec groaned, while following behind Magnus, grabbing onto Magnus’ hand as they walked down the street. “The guidebook is going to make us look like tourists. You already know how I feel about tourists.”
“Tourists are the lifeblood of New York City!”
“Tourists are the parasites of New York City!”
“Oh, you think you know everything? Just because you’re tall? You think you have all the answers up there?”
“See for yourself.” Alec smirked, before stopping beside Magnus. He quickly bent a little towards the ground, as he offered Magnus a confident nod. “Get on.”
“Alec, are you serious—”
“Come on. Maybe you’ll get some much needed clarity about how awful tourists are when you can see them better.”
Magnus nearly giggled, as he hopped onto Alec’s back—
Now receiving a piggyback ride from the man who just moments ago never even really existed…
And Magnus suddenly thought that everything seemed too perfect.
Everything seemed too impossible.
There was no way in the entire world that Magnus deserved something like this.
Something that felt so natural, so effortless, so filled with joy…
Magnus began to wonder when this would all come to an end…
“What are you thinking about up there? It better not be about buying one of those ridiculous ‘I love New York’ t-shirts—”
Alec’s words cut through Magnus’ thoughts, and Magnus happily wrapped his legs just a bit tighter around Alec’s waist.
“Do you know how long I’ve wished you were real?” Magnus leaned down towards Alec’s hair, tenderly letting his nose nestle into the strands. “Please don’t disappear again…”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve been waiting to meet someone like you, my entire life, Magnus…uh…” Alec’s voice trailed off, as he tried to recall Magnus’ last name…
“Bane. Magnus Bane.” Magnus chuckled, as he tenderly kissed the back of Alec’s head. “And your last name is?”
“Lightwood. Alec…Well, Alexander Lightwood.”
“I like your name, Alexander.”
“I like your name, too, Magnus Bane.”
Magnus’ heart went warm inside his chest, before he lazily rested his arms over Alec’s shoulders. “Hey, I actually live a few blocks from here. You might want to seriously consider calling a cab, instead of carrying me all the way—”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Magnus.” Alec slightly scoffed, as he continued down the sidewalk.
Magnus’ laugh bubbled up through his throat, and with every other step towards his apartment, Magnus held onto Alec tighter and tighter…
Magnus refused to let Alec simply disappear…
This time, he would make sure Alec stayed, for the rest of their lives.