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There were two types of events in his life, milestones if you will, that Dean hated more than his little brother's disgusting breakfast smoothies.
Weddings and Funerals.
There's an expectancy to them that drives him mad.
At weddings you're expected to have that plus one with you, otherwise you have sweet (a bold faced lie as she's nothing more than the meddling gossip of the family) Aunt Delores trying to set you up with the pretty girl she's known all her life. Of course she has, because the same girl is your cousin twice removed.
No thanks.
Then, if you do happen to bring a plus one, there's the expectancy from your date that it means more than it does. Especially when the jokes go around about you being next. And heaven forbid the chick catches the bouquet. Then there's the awkward, “I'm not ready for that kind of commitment” conversation that leads to a nasty break up.
Dean doesn't need that drama in his life.
With funerals, it was just sad. He hated death. He hated having to be civil when he wanted to punch something or drink until he was numb. Most of all he had been to enough funerals in his twenty-eight years of living that he was done with losing the ones he loved.
At least they both have food. You could tell how much some was loved or loves you based on what they bring or what options they give you.
For the deceased, if the food brought to the wake was homemade, then that person loved the dead enough to put thought, time and effort into the dish. If they ran to the local Piggly-Wiggly... well they're only there for appearances sake.
Reversely for weddings. This was a two fold effect to Dean. If your menu options look pricey, the the future Mr and Mrs care enough for their friends in family to give them good food. And if you were the dick that picked the surf and turf, you clearly don't care about the debt you're putting your family through.
At least, that’s how Dean looks at it.
If you asked his best friend, Castiel, this - his thoughts about funerals and weddings, not the food. That’s a whole different can of worms between the two - all stemmed from Dean's fear of abandonment, therefore allowing Dean to easily push aside relationships that require an iota of commitment. No need to fear the loss of a loved one if the loved one wasn't there to begin with.
Although, Castiel was wrong. Dean was ready to commit. He just had to find his way out of Narnia first. That was the funny thing about this torrid affair. For being a psychiatrist, Castiel seemed to have missed the biggest thing about Dean. Dean was in love with his best friend. Or at least he thinks he is. Dean wasn't too sure about it. He’d thought he was in love twice before; once with Cassie who lasted about a week, and again with Lisa.
But when it came down to it, he couldn't picture the white picket fences and 2.5 kids with either of them. Though, in Lisa’s case, they were half way there with her son Ben.
Now when he thinks of his future, he sees Castiel as an integral part of it. In fact, Dean can't really recall ever not having Castiel in his thoughts of the future.
Maybe that's why when Dean filled out the plus one for his boss, Crowley's wedding, it seemed only logical to have Castiel be that person.
Granted, Dean hadn't counted on the bride being Castiel's ex either.
“This is the most awkward thing to happen, Dean,” Castiel said with a fond eye roll as Dean adjusted Castiel's tie.
“All I'm saying, Cas, is if I had known he was marrying Meg, I wouldn't have forced you to come.”
“Dean...” The exasperated tone in Castiel's voice made Dean look up at him. “You didn't force me. You needed a date and a cover story and it seemed as if this was the most logical idea as we are always together anyhow.”
“What about Meg?” Dean asked, knowing that was a sore spot for his friend.
“She's getting married.” Castiel laughed. “I'm sure she's well over us.”
“Not what I meant, jackass,” Dean chuckled. “I mean by you being here and being introduced as my partner... there's an implication about this.” He made a motion between the two of them.
“Dean, the term partner has many connotations to it.”
Dean rolled his eyes at Cas. “Yes, but the meaning or connotation that it has may offend your ex girl friend.”
Castiel laughed and shook his head. “No. She's fully aware that I have no preference to sexual orientation.”
“Right. Pan... forgot.” Dean muttered, looking around as people started to fill the church. He was still adjusting to recently coming out to his friends and family as bisexual, a task that had been easier than he thought since he no longer had to live under his father's thumb.
Dean's eye caught a familiar head of dark red hair and he couldn't control his laughter. Castiel looked at him as if he had sprung two heads.
“I'm sorry,” Dean breathed out between laughs. “But you're not the only ex here today.” Dean pointed to the redhead that sat down behind the row that held Crowley's family. “That is Josie 'Abaddon' Sands. Crowley's ex.”
Cas chuckled and shook his head. “And you said weddings were lame.”
Dean looked over at his best friend, admiring the way his dark suit jacket framed his shoulders and the way Castiel's blue eyes seemed brighter, dare he say, even ethereal in the lighting of the church.
“Yeah... I'm beginning to see it in a whole new light,” he said softly.
~*~*~
Castiel was surprised when Dean not only asked him to the wedding as his guest, but had explained that he needed Castiel to act as if they were dating. Castiel had tried to play it cool when Dean first asked – and failed miserably by choking on his beer and attracting the attention of all the patrons – and every time it was brought up afterwards.
At first he thought it was a cruel joke. He had thought that somehow Dean had found out that he cared for him and was using this to dangle what Castiel couldn't have in his face like the poor dogs that chased the rabbit around the track.
But no, Dean was legitimately asking Castiel, his demi-pansexual best friend, to play as his boyfriend at a wedding. Because Dean needed something that wasn't going to complicate things.
For him, at least.
Castiel could have said no. He could have told Dean that he had lesson plans to make and papers to grade, but one look in Dean's hopeful green eyes and Castiel was lost. That's why he was now standing awkwardly behind Dean, drinking his glass of champagne much faster than anyone should, while Dean mingled with co-workers.
“Well, if it isn't the one that got away,” a familiar voice said from behind him. Castiel smiled as he turned to see the petite bride smirking at him.
“Isn't it customary for me to say that to the beautiful bride?” he asked as he and Meg embraced.
She laughed and straightened his tie once she pulled back.
Maybe Dean was right, maybe I don't know how to use these properly , he thought with a frown.
“I gotta say, Clarence. You are the last person I expected to see here. I'm glad you are.” Her light brown eyes were full of honesty which startled Castiel a bit.
“Why would you say that? You and I are still friends, are we not?”
“Of course we are!” She laughed. “I just mean that I never pegged you for being Dean's plus one. That's a pretty big step for you two. Honestly, I am surprised he chose a wedding to announce you two.”
Castiel felt his eyebrows pinch together in confusion. “I don't understand.”
Meg kissed his cheek and smiled. “Thanks for being here,” she said softly before her attention was dragged off by someone else.
“Oh thank god! Now I can eat!” She exclaimed, hiking the front of her dress up and trying to run across the hall, making Castiel chuckle.
Castiel didn't even have time to contemplate what Meg was trying to imply before Dean was standing besides him.
“You know Cas, you could make someone jealous with the way you and the bride were acting.”
Castiel looked to see the playful smirk on Dean's lips and rolled his eyes fondly. “The bride is nothing more than a friend. My heart is for another.”
“Oh?” Dean asked with a tone of genuine interest. “Is it someone here?” Castiel watched as Dean's eyes started to look around the room. He pointed to an attractive blonde. “Her?”
“Nora?” Castiel laughed and shook his head. “No. She's a good friend but nothing more than that.”
Dean nodded and took a drink from his beer. “But the one your heart beats for is here? At Crowley and Meg's wedding?”
Castiel swallowed thickly and nodded. “Yes, he is.”
Dean looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “He? Well, that narrows it down. Is he single?”
Castiel couldn't help the scoff he made. “This week? I believe he is. Hard to tell sometimes.”
Dean shook his head. “Dude, why would you want someone like that? He doesn't sound like he's worthy.”
Castiel's expression softened as he looked at his best friend. “I wouldn't say that, Dean. I don't think I'm worthy of him. He's kind, caring, always ready to help a friend in need.”
Dean looked at Castiel and gave him a small smile. It was that shy smile that Dean rarely used around anyone but the people he trusted. But that wasn't what knocked the hypothetical air from Castiel's lungs. It was the look of longing and pain in Dean's eyes.
“Dean?” Castiel asked softly.
“I'm sorry dude, but I don't think anyone will be good enough for you.”
Castiel titled his head, not understanding what his friend was telling him. Before he could open his mouth to ask Dean to elaborate, he felt the warm plush lips of his best friend upon his own.
Castiel didn't hesitate to kiss Dean back, firmly pressing his own lips against him. Dean's hand moved to cup the back of Castiel's neck and it sent tingles down his spine. Even though the kiss was chaste and not nearly as long as he would have liked, as far as first kisses went, this one definitely took the prize.
Dean pulled away first, placing his forehead against Castiel's and sighed. Castiel was afraid to open his eyes, afraid that should he do so, it was all just a figment of his imagination.
“Even I wouldn't be good enough for you,” Dean's voice cause Castiel's eyes to snap open and he could see the vulnerability behind his friend's words.
“Dean,” Castiel said his name as if it was his own personal salvation. “You are the one my heart has longed for. And you know me, I don't want someone romantically until I know I can trust them with my heart.”
Dean nodded. “So uh... we should maybe go grab a drink sometime,” he half suggested, half asked and Castiel couldn't help but smile at the shyness of it all.
“I know a place with an open bar...”
Later than night, after a few drinks and a round of laughs, both men fell asleep in each other's arms, dreaming of what the future held for them.
Together.