Chapter 1: Eliot
Notes:
2-part episode tag to The Snow Job. This assumes DVD order of the episodes.
This was first posted on the other fanfiction site July 20, 2017. Sorry if it's a rerun to anyone here.
Chapter Text
One thing that had served Eliot well in his life was the ability to make a quick tactical decision and act immediately upon it. It had saved his life many times over the years, and allowed him to quickly and efficiently engage the security goons that seemed to be a more and more common accessory to these jobs Nate took on.
There had been no goons so far on this job, but Eliot found himself needing to make a tactical decision anyway when Parker abruptly left their appropriated MRI room after hearing Nate toss their money away. Secretly, he was somewhat in favor of just abandoning the entire con. Nate was treading on thin ice...aw hell, who was he kidding? Nate had hammered right through the ice and was splashing around in the deep end. The job was falling apart at the seams, but it might still be salvageable if he could keep Parker from blowing it now. This was about more than just their money, they had to get restitution for their clients.
So, Eliot had run after Parker down the hospital hallway, and when she stopped, had wrapped his arms around her in a rear bear hug, pinning her arms and effectively immobilizing her so he could lift and carry her back out of sight. Quick, decisive, and effective. Tactically, it was sound.
He had expected some sort of struggle or yelp when he grabbed and lifted her, but she just went rigid instead. When he finally set her down in front of the doorway to the MRI room at the end of the hall, he was prepared for some sort of reaction; a glare, a chewing out, maybe even a punch. What took him by surprise was the look of fear on her face as she pulled away from him and pressed herself back into the corner of the hallway by the door, near where another hall intersected theirs.
That look hit Eliot with all the force of a charging bull as he was thrust back into a memory from his past. It was after the Army, during one of his stints with a PMC. They had been contracted by a very wealthy businessman to recover his kidnapped daughter. It had been a difficult mission and when they had finally located her, Eliot had to grab, actually grab, the girl and run or they would not have made it out. She had been just as stiff in his arms then as Parker was. When the team reached their vehicle and he set the girl inside it, she had burrowed as far from him into a corner of the seat as she could, curled around herself, and refused to meet anyone's eyes or speak a word, despite repeated reassurances that they were taking her back to her family.
The poor girl had been barely a teenager, and it didn't take a genius to figure out something very bad had happened to her. Now, he saw that same withdrawn fear on Parker's face, saw the girl's behavior reflected in his teammate before him, and realized with a sickening lurch in his gut that he himself was the cause this time.
In their short time working together as a team, he had noticed that Parker didn't often like to be touched or sit too close to anyone, and she really didn't like people behind her, out of her sightline. Happy Parker was somewhat more accepting of closeness, but Sad or Angry Parker tended to be much more prickly. Whatever her mood however, she always kept a good awareness of what was going on around her. It was behavior Eliot recognized in himself, and he approved of her situational awareness, but he should have noticed Parker's aversion to touch had been very distinctive. Maybe he just hadn't wanted to admit it.
Parker was always solid on the job, even if she was more than just a little crazy, and in the short time they had been operating as Leverage Consulting and Associates, Eliot had come to trust her to do her part professionally, maybe more than he trusted the others sometimes, Nate being a prime example right now. So he never really minded being teamed together for the more dangerous infiltration parts of the jobs. Eliot had thought she trusted him to keep her safe when needed. But now he remembered when Parker had landed on him after she jumped out of that window (he prayed she had been intending to roll on impact if he hadn't been there) she had separated from him and gotten up almost immediately, before he could try to check her for any injuries.
Now, as Eliot began to piece together these observations and draw some unsettling conclusions, guilt lanced through him like a sword to the gut.
Eliot realized he was effectively blocking Parker into a corner of the hallway and she looked skittish, eyes darting side to side, but not meeting his. He took a step backward to give her more space, hoping she wouldn't just bolt. The only places she could go were either back into the MRI room where Hardison was waiting, or down the intersecting hall to her left. Eliot hoped she would return to the room so he could have a chance to talk to her, try to calm her down, make her see he hadn't meant to bring up unpleasant memories...but Hardison poked his head out at that moment.
"Guys, Nate said pack it up, we're heading back to the..." He trailed off as he noticed how spooked Parker looked, how she had jumped slightly at his sudden appearance.
Eliot took another step backward and slightly to his right, trying to not pressure her but trying also to block her from escaping down the hall to her left. He attempted to keep his voice as calm and even as possible, though he really wished he could track down whoever was responsible for instilling this reaction in Parker. Whoever it was besides himself, of course.
"Parker, I..." She bolted down the hall to her left before Eliot had a chance to finish.
Hardison turned confused eyes to Eliot, "She that upset 'bout Nate, man?"
But Eliot didn't answer. He jogged after Parker instead, knowing he couldn't catch up to her but hoping to figure out where she might be going.
Parker was in the hotel suite when the others, including a very discouraged Eliot, returned. He had tried checking the roof of the hospital, the tallest trees on the grounds, anywhere else he could think of, but he hadn't seen any sign of Parker. He wasn't sure what he would have said if he had found her, and still wasn't sure the best way to approach her now. Maybe he should get Sophie to try talking to her, but he really had no idea how to broach that subject. Hey, Sophie, I terrified Parker today and probably gave her PTSD. Would you fix her for me? Yeah, good luck with that.
Parker didn't seem any worse for wear as the team hashed out their issues with Nate that evening, but she wouldn't meet Eliot's eyes or stand very near him. Eliot's guilt wormed away in his gut, and he told himself later that was why he lost his temper so badly with Nate. Not that he wouldn't have called Nate out anyway, the drunken idiot had it coming. Physically threatening him however, especially in front of the rest of the team, was an unacceptable loss of control.
When the others followed Eliot out of the hotel suite, giving Sophie room to speak to Nate alone, Eliot tried to catch Parker's eye. She still wouldn't look in his direction though, and kept Hardison between herself and him. Nate had been too wasted all evening to notice this additional tension in his team, and Eliot wasn't sure if Sophie had either, but Hardison kept shooting him questioning glances. Eliot ignored them.
He never did get a chance to approach Parker one-on-one before the job wrapped up. Their remaining interactions were brief and strictly job-related. On the flight back to LA afterward, Parker sat with Hardison, and then made her own way home from the airport.
The team met at the offices the morning after their return to debrief that job and discuss a potential new client. Parker seemed back to her own brand of normal, but there was still no chance to approach her without the others around. After the briefing, Eliot retreated to his office to review security for the next job. He had blueprints, guard rotations, and photos strewn on a table in front of him, but he found it difficult to concetrate. He hadn't slept well the previous night, guilt always had a way of keeping him awake. He kept running through "should haves." He should have been quicker, grabbed her before she left the room. Or better yet, he should have kept an eye on her, realized she was about to do something stupid, and blocked her from leaving. Hell, maybe he should have let her blow the con. It would have been an opportunity to knock Nate off his damn pedestal for a bit, show him he wasn't infallible...
Eliot realized he had been staring at the same photograph for at least ten minutes, but hadn't even pegged which ex-military these guards were when there came a timid knock on his office door. He glanced up to see Parker framed in his doorway and masked his surprise, normally she wouldn't bother knocking. Normally, before he had terrified her. Well now, maybe he would have a chance to apologize.
"C'mon in," he gestured at the chair opposite his, and she perched on the edge of the seat, but didn't say anything.
"Did you need something Parker?"
She fiddled with a lock of hair, wouldn't quite look at him. "You know things, things about fighting. What should I have done?"
"Done? Parker, I think we need to talk about..."
"When you picked me up. What should I have done to get away?" She finally looked straight at him.
"I'm sorry I grabbed you like that. I...I didn't know. I was afraid you'd blow the con." Eliot wasn't sure what else to say, he didn't want Parker to have to relive whatever awful experience she had flashed back to in the hallway. But she gave a small, half-smile.
"Blowing the con would have been Nate's fault, but you stopped me so it's okay."
"It's not okay, Parker! I scared you badly and I wish I hadn't. I should have noticed you didn't like being touched. Or taken by surprise like that. You're supposed to be able to trust me."
She looked away again. "You didn't hurt me, and I wasn't really scared of you. I ran away because I needed to be alone for a while."
They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, neither really wanting to look at the other. Finally, Parker spoke in a quiet voice, barely above a whisper: "Tell me what I should do next time...to get away."
If it was up to Eliot, there would never be another time. But if they were going to keep taking on dangerous jobs, a little self-defense instruction wouldn't go amiss. Just in case he was somewhere else, if he was too slow to reach her...And really, the rest of the team could do with some training too, no sense of self-preservation at all!
"Okay Parker, I can tell you what you should have done, or I can teach you. But that would involve more touching. Would you be okay with that?"
She shrugged, "I'd be expecting it so, yeah. Will you teach me how to fight like you?"
Eliot pinched the bridge of his nose. Parker had gone from terrified of him to wanting to throw down like him. Who could follow that girl's mind?
"I'll teach you some things so you can protect yourself if I'm not there." Parker smiled at him then, her real radiant smile, but he fixed her with as serious a look as he had ever used.
"But there's a condition: If I am there and I'm tellin' you to run, givin' you an out, you GO. Got it? Don't stick around and fight. That's my job."
"Got it."
"Okay, then. We could practice in this gym I know, my buddy owns it..."
"No gym, too many people." And he heard what she didn't say: I told you I was okay with the touching, but I might be wrong. I could still freak out.
"...or we'll use the big room here at the end of the hall, the one Hardison wanted for storage. I'll need a couple days to get some practice mats and things in, okay? I'll let you know."
She smiled again and bounced up to leave but turned back at the last second. Before Eliot knew what hit him, she had leaned down and akwardly hugged him, whispering "I do trust you, Eliot," and then she was gone.
Chapter 2: Parker
Chapter Text
Parker was starting to like her four coworkers at Leverage Consulting and Associates almost as much as she liked Archie, which was about as much as Parker liked anyone. What was more, she kinda-sorta trusted them, too. Which was weird, because Parker really didn't trust anyone but herself. And maybe Archie. She had learned, among other things, that people almost never did anything for someone else without wanting something in return.
So far, these four people didn't seem to want anything from her beyond her doing her part of the jobs. She had a pretty steady income of lovely money from their "alternative revenue stream," and she didn't have to be quiet and unnoticed around them to feel safe. Hardison and Sophie liked when she talked with them, and even if she didn't really talk about normal-people things, they made her feel a little normal. Eliot liked quiet, but he would tell her things straight if she asked, and she had figured out pretty quickly that most of his growling was only for show. Sometimes he would say there was something wrong with her, but there was never any malice in his words. Nate she wasn't too sure about yet, but he was drunk most of the time so she didn't talk to him much anyway. None of them ever tried to make her be not-Parker.
But maybe she was beginning to trust these people a little too much, because she let Eliot take her completely by surprise. When she heard Nate writing away her precious, beautiful money, Parker didn't really think she just acted. She didn't even know what she had planned to do, she just had to save her money. Save their money...okay, save the client's money. Whoever's money it was, Nate was just giving it away!
She had run out in the hallway only to get Nate's attention, she had no intent to ruin the plan...and then it happened. Strong arms suddenly wrapped around her and she was lifted bodily off the ground. Before she could try to fight it, she was overcome with a flood of memories, not one of them remotely good. When the arms finally set her down and let go, she pulled away from them but found herself blocked by the intersection of two walls. She pressed herself into the corner they formed and tried to get her breathing under control, remind herself where she really was.
She wanted to get as far away from those constricting arms as possible, but their owner was blocking her only escape. Their owner...it wasn't some stranger bigger than herself who would take her away or do something unthinkable...it was Eliot, Eliot who had never hurt her, who even when in a bad mood was a solid steady presence, trustworthy and safe.
But she didn't feel safe right now, and Eliot didn't look like himself. Eliot looked shocked and stricken and a little sad and all kinds of other not-Eliot words. And she couldn't look at him because it was Eliot but it also wasn't and not-Eliot looked like he wanted to apologize or hug her or something and she couldn't handle that right now.
Eliot had stepped backward like he wanted to give her space, but she startled again when Hardison poked his head out of the MRI room they had stolen. She liked Hardison, he didn't ever scare her or try to take away her control. But he was one more person, and she didn't need another person near her right now, she needed two fewer people. She thought he started to say something, but then Eliot moved again and not-Eliot was all calm and gentle when he spoke, "Parker, l..." and it was too much. So she ran.
In the shelter of the hospital ventilation system, Parker curled around herself and listened to the quiet echo of her own breathing. She shuddered as the memories came unbidden and a few tears managed to leak out through her tightly-closed eyelids. She knew in her heart Eliot hadn't meant to scare her or hurt her, but Parker didn't like being forced to go where she didn't want to, and especially when she had no control over it whatsoever. People who were bigger and stronger than her thought that gave them the right to do what they wanted with her.
A lot of people might be surprised, but Parker could vaguely remember a time long ago when she was happy. Normal-people happy. When she had a real mother and father who loved her, and a baby brother who adored her. But that had ended one thundery night with a knock on the door and a rain-drenched policeman I'm sorry and a babysitter pointing at her and tiny Mattie What do I do with them? and Parker was never normal-people happy again.
The images came like flashes of lightning; the babysitter leaving will I still get paid? a strange woman arriving neighbors said no other family, no emergency contacts listed and then you and Mattie are going to come with me now and is there anything you want to bring with you? Parker, who wasn't Parker then but would always be Parker now, had only clutched her Bunny under one arm and held Mattie's hand tightly and refused to move. If they weren't home when Mommy and Daddy got back, they would be worried. She had been a quiet child to begin with, but now she couldn't find any words at all to convey that worry to this woman. But it didn't matter anyway, because the policeman had eventually just picked her up, and the woman had picked up Mattie and that was the first time Parker was carried where she didn't want to go.
The second time, Parker had blood on her hands. Quite literally, because she had been huddled over Mattie's broken bleeding body as he slipped away. The man who lifted and carried her away then had been a neighbor, a kindly old man though she didn't care about that at the time, because her foster parents were too busy comforting their real kids. And it was her fault anyway, because that bicycle had belonged to their real son and she should have known better.
The third time, which was not just one time, had been a foster brother, an older boy. Why are you crying? I thought you liked being tickled?
The fourth time it was the policemen who dragged her out of the bait car when she refused to leave it. Damn that Kelly, he ran and just left her to get caught! That ended with her in Juvie which was almost but not quite as bad as the first three times. Or the next.
The fifth time she was out of Juvie, had escaped the foster system, and was providing for herself with the proceeds from Archie's tutelage. Archie never invited her home, but that was OK because she had a home. A scummy little apartment in a run-down old building but it was hers and it kept her underage self off the radar. She had a taser, a gift from Archie, but you can't use a taser when your arms are pinned from behind and she didn't want to think about the fifth time in the alley behind her building in the dark, or the smell of fetid breath anymore.
Now, in the vent shaft, Parker gradually succeeded in pushing the memories back where they belonged, deep down into her sad and angry place and her tears slowed. She uncurled and crawled to the nearest vent access and peeked out through the slotted cover. She saw Eliot down below. Of course he would have followed her, he took the well-being of the team very seriously and he would want to be sure she was okay. But she wasn't okay right now, and she couldn't face not-Eliot. Almost as if he felt her thinking about him, he glanced in her direction but she knew he couldn't see her, and he wasn't likely to check the vents. She crawled through them all the time for jobs, but she didn't think the others knew she found them comforting. No one could sneak up on you in a vent shaft. And after how she had reacted to being restrained, Parker thought Eliot would assume she had gone somewhere high and open.
Parker felt a bit more in control of herself now, and she could think more clearly. When she had gone back to Nate in the park after that first job with the Nigerians, what she had told him was true: she didn't know how to stop doing her one thing. But since then, she had been learning other things. Normal-people things. And even if he hadn't intended it, Parker was learning new things about planning elaborate jobs from watching Nate. And she was learning things about normal people behavior from Sophie, and things about computers and friendship and having fun from Hardison. Maybe she could learn something from Eliot, too.
Decision made, Parker waited for Eliot to turn the corner out of sight then popped the vent hatch and, ignoring the startled gasps of visitors and patients in the hallway, dropped out of the shaft and exited the hospital.
She made it back to the hotel suite before the rest of the team. With Eliot off searching for her, the others had to handle cleanup and disposal of their stolen corpse. No one was very happy by the time they returned, and it didn't take long for the fight over the money to erupt. Eliot kept glancing at her like he wanted to say something, but she avoided looking at him. At least he wasn't entirely not-Eliot anymore, because not-Eliot wouldn't have growled at and threatened Nate.
She knew her avoidance of Eliot during the remainder of the job bothered him, but what she wanted to talk to him about needed to be done alone, and they weren't ever alone enough. So she kept avoiding him because he would have tried to apologize and that would be not-Eliot again and she didn't want that right now.
Hardison knew something was wrong. He kept trying to ask her what had happened back in that hallway, but she said she was fine, even though she knew he didn't believe her. He didn't push her too hard though, and he didn't seem to mind if she used him as a buffer between Eliot and herself. He at least respected it when she didn't want to talk. Unlike Sophie who could be so suffocating sometimes! She just knew something was wrong with Parker and she tried several times to get her alone just to "chat." Parker wasn't stupid, she knew Sophie was trying to grift answers from her but Parker didn't want Sophie to fix this so she just ignored Sophie, too.
Back at the offices, with the debriefing finished, Parker decided she couldn't put this off any longer, she needed to talk to Eliot. She had successfully avoided him for the remainder of the job and on the flight home. But now they were planning a new job and Parker wanted to clear the air. This next job would be dicey. It would require Eliot running interference for her and handling a lot of guards while she did her thing. Parker was afraid Eliot would refuse to take the job if he thought she no longer trusted him to keep her safe. Trust was everything to Eliot, and he knew Parker didn't give her trust easily.
She stood in the doorway to Eliot's office and just watched him for a moment. Eliot looked distracted, tired, he was looking like not-Eliot again. Normally, she wouldn't bother with knocking. Normally, he would have noticed someone standing in his doorway. Maybe the real Eliot would come back if she knocked like he always growled at her to do.
When he glanced up, she saw something like relief in his eyes, and she took the seat he indicated across from him. Parker struggled to figure out how to put into words what she wanted to ask of Eliot. Nothing Sophie had taught so far her really covered this.
"Did you need something Parker?" Yeah, I need you to be the real Eliot again. Because maybe it wasn't a matter of two different Eliots, but two versions of the same Eliot. What she thought of as the real Eliot was the growly one, dangerous and safe at the same time. The other Eliot, the calm, gentle, caring Eliot, was someone he usually kept hidden. It bothered Parker to see it boldly on display, because it seemed a violation of his privacy, his need to be in control of himself. Her real Eliot was straightforward and concise, so Parker took a breath and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "You know things, things about fighting. What should I have done?"
"Done? Parker, I think we need to talk about..." No no no, the real Eliot didn't do talking and feelings.
"When you picked me up. What should I have done to get away?" She looked up at him, trying to drive her point home.
But he still wasn't listening! "I'm sorry I grabbed you like that. I...I didn't know. I was afraid you'd blow the con." Real Eliot didn't do apologies, either.
She smiled a little, tried to remind him. "Blowing the con would have been Nate's fault, but you stopped me so it's okay."
And there was something of the real Eliot in his voice when he growled, "It's not okay, Parker! I scared you badly and I wish I hadn't. I should have noticed you didn't like being touched. Or taken by surprise like that. You're supposed to be able to trust me."
Parker looked away again. Sophie would have said Eliot put too much blame on himself for things. She would have used words like "guilt" and "self-recrimination" and "repentance" and "atonement," but none of that mattered to Parker right now. She just needed to make the real Eliot see that she wasn't scared of him, so he could stop being not-Eliot. "You didn't hurt me, and I wasn't really scared of you. I ran away because I needed to be alone for a while."
Eliot seemed to be considering that, and she let him think about it for a few minutes. Problem was, it gave her time to think too, and she didn't really want to think about that right now. She tried again. "Tell me what I should do next time...to get away." It came out as a whisper.
Parker had a good idea what Eliot might be thinking. He wanted to get all protective and tell her it would never happen again on his watch, but then he would realize he couldn't watch all of them all the time. So, he would agree to do the next best thing.
"Okay Parker, I can tell you what you should have done, or I can teach you. But that would involve more touching. Would you be okay with that?" Finally!
"I'd be expecting it so, yeah. Will you teach me how to fight like you?" And there it was, that pinching of the bridge of his nose that sometimes came with there's something wrong with you. He didn't say it this time but the improvement was definitely there.
"I'll teach you some things so you can protect yourself if I'm not there." Parker let her smile show. She knew if she kept pressing him, Eliot would teach her everything he could. It was in his nature to be thorough like that.
Eliot, real Eliot, turned very serious then. "But there's a condition: If I am there and I'm tellin' you to run, givin' you an out, you GO. Got it? Don't stick around and fight. That's my job." And now Eliot was all the way back, all growly seriousness and protective instinct. And he'd just better remember that touchy-feely was SOPHIE'S job!
"Got it."
"Okay then. We could practice in this gym I know, my buddy owns it..."
"No gym, too many people." That was one thing she couldn't handle yet. If she did have another flashback, despite her assurance that she'd be okay with the hands-on training, she trusted Eliot would know how to handle it. He understood now, he would give her space and time and he would be that solid steady presence. And his next words showed that he understood what she hadn't said.
"...or we'll use the big room here at the end of the hall, the one Hardison wanted for storage. I'll need a couple days to get some practice mats and things in, okay? I'll let you know."
Parker smiled again, mission accomplished! She bounced up to leave, then on impulse turned back to him. She reached down and hugged him, awkwardly but it was a real hug. And because she wanted to be sure he knew, she whispered, "I do trust you, Eliot." And before not-Eliot could try to make a comeback, she left.
-end

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