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Chapter Text

Memories of THE a Summer Trip by Lee Jihoon.

"Not again, please!"

I almost yell as I throw another sheet of paper into the already full trash bin. It bumps on the rim of the bin and rolls over to my feet.

I'm stuck, again . Fuck this writer block! Last year was pure hell because of it and I thought it was gone but here I am.

My mind is blank, I cannot think of a single word or sentence that would make sense for a song. I had no problems whatsoever in composing the beat of the song, however, every word seems to be so inappropriate for it. They seem to be so clichè and already voided of their meaning and value as they had been used over and over again in the same ways. "I love you", "hold me", "from head to toe, I like everything about you" who never heard or even sang along to this kind of lines?

I want it to be a song about a love that hits you hard, that takes you in so many different ways, that even after time passes you still feel as if it's the first time you experience it. A kind of love that I haven't felt for quite a long time and maybe that’s why I can't seem to find the right words to express it.

I keep scribbling and erasing lines on pieces of paper, throwing them when the frustration is too much to bear and start all over again. I almost pulled out my hair off thinking about what to write and the fact that this song is due in two weeks. I am so dead if I can't meet the deadline.

As I am repeatedly hitting my head on the desk trying to get a concussion and pass out to avoid dealing with this block, I have a brainwave: last year, when I was stuck, going to the beach was really helpful. It made me think of my hometown, my friends back there, the noona I used to like and to whom I couldn’t confess. I filled almost an entire notebook with lyrics and ideas for new songs. Maybe I can do the same this time too and see if the sea is willing to be my muse, again.

Now, the problem is my boss. People in my company always say that I’m the apple of his eyes and that he does anything I ask but even if it’s true, he can still get angry with me thinking that this time I want to just laze around and not actually do my job.

They say he’s quite scary when he gets angry and I wish I won’t ever see him like that in my life.

However, I need to do this, so I muster my courage and call my boss to ask him if I can actually stay away for a few days. To my surprise, he agrees quite quickly and without any complaint.

I go back to my house to pack my things and then take the first train for Gangneung deciding to find a B&B to sleep in once I'm on the train.

There are a lot of beaches nearer Seoul, I know that, but I fell in love with this one since the first time my feet touched its sand.

In summer it's packed with people spending their days off of work with their families or friends at the beach. Everyone is busy doing their own things: some play soccer or volleyball in the fields on the beach or on the shore; the kids play with their parents or little friends making castles and modelling the sand as they like, pretending to be chefs, doctors, astronauts, archeologists or they simply dig the sand for hours until they can find water or to bury themselves in it; some people just enjoy bathing in the rays of the sun or taking long walks on the waterfront. Well, it can be a lot noisy but if you can find the right spot, it can be actually peaceful. It's just you, the sweet sound of the waves, the smell of salt water that the light breeze brings under your nose, that same breeze that caresses your skin, the warmth of the sun that grazes your skin, the colours of the sea and the sky that fill your eyes. You can feel free, like the seagulls that fly high in the sky among the clouds and are able to enjoy all of that for the rest of their lives without ever getting bored of it.

I was like those seagulls when I lived back in Busan, I couldn't get sick of the sea, not even in winter when everything was surrounded with a melancholic atmosphere. I really loved that feeling of being one with nature and that freedom you experience when looking at the horizon. Even though you know it's not like that because the sea has its end, it feels as if you're looking at the infinite and that you can be part of it. Moreover, I always felt safe in the embrace of the waves as if it was okay to forget about my problems and pain when I was in its arms and drift away in a place where I could be happy and smile with the people I loved or even alone. The sea is that kind of place to me. It's my paradise on earth.

Chapter Text

"Ah, this is the perfect spot." I say as I sit on the beach towel I put in my backpack earlier at the B&B together with my notebook and some snacks. I think I really found the best spot I could wish for on the beach. I'm far away from people, but I can still observe and “study” them, trying to find the right mood to write something.

It's the end of June, so the beach isn't as busy as it often is at the peak season. People are still working but already dreaming of resting during their well deserved holiday. Today there mostly are teenagers who are on break from school. A lot of guys are in the water, engaged in fights with their friends on their shoulders or challenging each other in who can swim the furthest or the faster, who can stay underwater for the longest or who can dive in the funniest way. The girls, on the other hand, are under their beach umbrella, with their shades on and probably too many layers of sunscreen, trying to avoid getting tanned because it could ruin their super white, almost translucent, complexion. You can see some of them chitchatting, checking out the boys to see if someone can be a good catch and if they find the perfect prey, they start flirting with him in the most explicit way. Some others are just enjoying that freedom from their routines, laughing every now and then and taking pictures with their friends or of the pretty scenery to share them on Instagram but also to fix those memories in time so that even in 20 years from now, when they will look at them, they will remember the feelings they felt and the people they were with. It's a heartwarming view and I decide to keep that in mind, even writing something down to not forget and write about it sometime in the future.

However, it's not the kind of feeling I was looking for the song, so I try focusing on the few couples that are around here. There was a couple writing their names in the sand, another one drawing a big heart around them and taking pictures in the most absurd and cute poses, the boy is clearly cringing at all of that but eventually complies with his girlfriend. He loves her to the point of giving in to whatever she wants and I was a little bit envious of that, I would like to have a person like that by my side. Some other couple was playing with the waves crashing on the shore, trying not getting caught by them but at some point, the girl pushes the boy in the water and starts laughing at his reaction until he runs towards her and picks her up, threatening her to let her fall in the water and laughing with her; another pair was walking on the seashore with their feet in the water, they don't talk but they're holding hands and enjoying each other presence and the romantic atmosphere surrounding them: they're letting their hearts doing the talk.

As I was taking notes of what I was seeing to see if it could be useful for the lyrics, something hard hits my head. "What the hell was that! I know I wished for a concussion this morning, but I was joking!" I say to no one as I bring my hand to massage the aching spot on my head and see a ball rolling in front of me. It surely belongs to that group of children I saw playing a while ago. 'These kids! There's a field just to play beach-soccer, so why they don't go and play there?'

I get up, groaning and mumbling swear words.

'If they think they will get away with a sorry, they're wrong. I will scold them as much as they need and teach them a lesson.'

Once I reach the ball, I pick it up and I turn around, ready to scold the kids. However, words die in my throat as soon as I see him.

He's running towards me. A handsome, tall and skinny guy, black hair that makes his tanned complexion even more stunning. His plump lips are slightly parted as he catches his breath while running, his cheeks, a bit puffy, jiggling because of the run. His eyes are sharp, almost feline-like and there's something about them that makes him just perfect. It may sound cliché but it was love at first sight. Well, maybe love is a bit too much, but God he's so gorgeous. I could keep looking at him for the rest of my life and never get bored or tired.

Time seemed to have slowed down and it felt as he was running in slow-motion, so when he stops next to me, I’m quite taken aback. His eyes are filled with concern.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" He says in a low voice that sends shivers down my spine. He's not only good-looking but he has even a wonderful voice. I look at him, without answering, too amazed by his existence to even think properly. "Hey, did you bite your tongue when you were hit?"

"S-sorry, what?"

"Oh, so you can talk! I thought you had bitten your tongue and it hurted and that was why you weren't answering me." He chuckles and I'm sure that's the sound I will hear in the afterlife. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I am sure I can make thousands of new melodies out of this.

"Y-yes. And no, I d-didn't bit my t-tongue." ‘I seriously need to stop stuttering. I sound like an idiot’.

"Are you really okay?" He asks while checking for any visible scar or bruise on my body. His tone is so gentle that melts my last brain cell.

"Y-yeah, I'm sure. It was n-nothing. My head is as hard as a rock, see?" I say while lightly knocking my fist on my head to prove my point. 'Good job, Jihoon. Now he will surely think you're crazy and run away.'

"I'm glad to hear that." He chuckles, again, and then whispers a 'cute' that I wish I hadn’t heard as it makes me blush. "I'm really sorry on my friend's behalf. He's a clumsy one and can't control the ball."

"I saw that or rather felt that."  I say, massaging again the spot on my head that was hit. "By the way, here's your ball." I hand the said weapon that almost killed me to him.

"Thank you so much. I need to go now or my friend will kick me in the same way he did with the ball." He says while smiling, his eyes disappearing in two crescents moons as his cheeks lift up together with the corner of his mouth.

"Run before it's too late." And he does that not before having waved to me and flashed me another smile.

He reaches his friend in a blink of an eye and starts playing again, this time careful not to let the ball fly away and hit someone else. I sit down again on my beach towel, forgetting my notebook and the song for a moment. I couldn't concentrate at all. He is like a magnet and I'm a piece of metal: he keeps luring me and I can't help but comply with his force. However, before falling into the category of 'creepy stalker', I decide it is better to stop staring and leave the beach to return to my room. I will come back here tomorrow, trying to find the right inspiration and maybe to find him again.

Chapter Text

The next day comes and I wake up early feeling somewhat nervous. The good thing is that I feel as if the stress that had been piling up these days at work has finally leaved my body and mind. The air here must be that good (or maybe we should give credit to that amazing boy but I will never say that out loud and I will deny it till the end of my days).

I eat my breakfast in a rush, determined to go to the beach as soon as possible so that it won't be too crowded and I won't be bothered.

The sun is already shining so bright and it's definitely hotter than yesterday despite being only nine in the morning.

The light of the sun makes everything look brighter. The water looking like the finest jewel in different gradation of blues and wrought by the most experienced jewellery maker: it has dark blue sapphires near the horizon and coming towards the shore there are lapis lazuli, turquoises and aquamarines.

I bask in that view, trying to engrave every detail in my mind: the colours of the sea, the light breeze on my skin, the smell of salted water, the cry of the seagulls.

Nature really is amazing.

I sit on the sand again, confident of being able to write something good that matches the beat and the mood I'm looking for, my notebook opened on my lap, my pen behind my right ear.  I look at the horizon, thinking about yesterday to create a mix of feelings that surely will bring me inspiration. It was always like this. My songs were never about present feelings but about memories. I always thought about the past and what I felt then, never able to leave things and people behind me and that’s because these things made me the man I am now. Most of my love songs were about the noona I used to like when I lived in Busan and who supported me and my dream. I liked her a lot but never got to confess as I came to Seoul to work and, when I came back to my hometown, it was already too late. She wasn't there anymore. In the beginning, I was hurt. I lost a friend and a lover. Slowly, feelings were gone and only good memories were left in my heart. Even though I moved on, it is still good remembering those old times and describe them in my songs. That young love you experience for the first time in your life and that makes you feel like you could do anything without any fear. I have to admit that every song I write about her is like a step I make towards closure.

I picture her in my head and as I keep tracing back every feature of her, a new face appears in my mind. Yeah, it's the boy. His raven hair with touches of dark blue that could be seen only when the sun hit them; his chubby cheeks despite his fit physique that made him look like a hamster; his eyes who could speak thousands of words; his smile that outshined the sun. Damn, what did he do to me? I was never the type to easily remember someone’s face after seeing it only once but his face was already engraved in my mind and maybe heart.

The morning goes like this while thinking about him, playing scenarios in my head of what we could be doing now if we were together. I can see him in the ripples on the surface of the sea, in the children playing with the ball, in the couples holding hands. I wish I could hold hands with him.

"Aish, Lee Jihoon. You need to stop! You don't even know his name. How can you think about this?"

I suddenly say out loud, leaping on my feet and making the sand go all over my notebook and towel.

"I need to get him out of my head."

I pace back and forth in the little path I made in the sand, thinking of a way to get myself together. I look at the water. "Maybe some cold water can do the job for a while."

I walk in that cold sea until  the water is up to my knees. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The cold of the water mixed to the brisk breeze sends shivers down my spine and for a while my mind really is cleared from any thought.

That was until someone decided to splash water on me. I don't know if this person did it on purpose or not, but they sure have the desire to die today, with their head under the same cold water they splashed on me. It's not that I don't like it but it's cold as heck and I could've died due to thermal shock! ‘ I know I'm being dramatic but nobody can read my mind so I can think whatever I want ’.

I clench my fists, ready to yell at whoever the culprit was. However, for the second time, I'm left speechless as my eyes meet those of the boy I've been thinking about until now. He's coming towards me and he remembers me, ‘Thank God, yes!’ , as he starts off the conversation with an "Oh, it's you again!" while giving me the brightest and most refreshing smile I had ever seen. My hearts skips a beat and then starts racing faster than a Ferrari.  

"Y-yeah. Hi!" I need to calm down. At this rate, he's going to hear my heart beating and think I'm a weirdo. Wait, when did I even start caring about what other people thought?

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to splash you. They challenged me to run and dive into the cold water head first or else I had to be their servant for the rest of the day." He says while pointing his thumb to the three guys at his back. They looked at us, smirking and when they noticed me looking at them, they averted their gaze, pretending they were checking the time on their non-existent watches while whistling.

"Is it that bad to be their servant?" I ask genuinely curious.

"You can't even imagine the things they can make you do." He shivers at the thought.

"Then good thing you dived but next time, make sure there's no one else around. You were lucky it was just me or else you would have been scolded by someone else." I chuckle.

"What do you mean just you? I wouldn't mind being scolded by a beauty like you." He says, coming closer to me and then winking.

"W-what?" If I was already blushing because of our small talk, now I'm definitely a blushing mess , heart leaping at least a hundred times.

"You already heard me the first time." He says, flashing another smile of his.

I laugh, embarrassed. Was he trying to flirt with me? Why am I so affected by him?

At this point, I notice his friends talking and glancing at us. Maybe he had to go back as they needed to be somewhere else.  

"Seems like your friends are waiting for you." I say, a hint of disappointment in my tone,  while gesturing towards the trio at his back who's slowly approaching us.

He turns around and then looks back at me. He looks worried about his friends walking closer to us.

"Y-Yeah. I REALLY need to go." He nervously laughs. "See you around, I guess."

"Sure. See you." I say while waving to him. ‘Oh my God, I am even waving now? Who am I? What have I done to Lee Jihoon?’

He waves back and then rushes towards his friends, grabbing and dragging them away before they got the chance to open their mouths.

I look at him going away and then I go back to my place on the towel, setting my notebook apart once again. The thought of him back in my mind and even stronger than before.

I look at the time on my phone: it’s 7 pm. ‘Well, I can call it a day and come back here tomorrow to work.’

Anyway, I don’t want to go back to my room just yet, so I decide to sit down and wait for the sunset, my favourite part of the day.

The sky is already changing colours, the clouds looking like cotton candy of different flavours. In my mind, I picture me and him sitting together on the sand to watch the sun meeting and kissing the sea. A kiss that it's an amazing spectacle as it leaves people breathless thanks to the shades of orange, rose quartz and serenity that colours the sky making it look like a painting. A kiss I wish I could be the main character of. The boy as warm and bright as the sun, me as cold and rough as the sea. ‘Would we be a wonderful spectacle too?’

As the sun slowly disappears behind the horizon, I make a wish: I wish to feel blessed and as happy as today for a very long time.

I never believed that wishes actually came true but my mind changed the very next day.

Chapter Text

Today too, I woke up early. I had a quick shower and packed some breakfast and other snacks so I could eat them on the beach. I had no time to waste. I felt quite inspired since the moment my feet touched the wooden floor of my room and I wanted to write lyrics before something happened that could change my mood.

I rush to reach the spot I could perfectly call mine by now since I'm always there, before someone else could take it but, of course, I find it empty. I lay down my towel and plump myself on it, hurting my butt a bit because of the impact with the sand. I take out from my backpack a roll of kimbap I made before and give it a big bite, then grab my pen and flip the pages of the notebook till I reach a blank one.

I put on my headphones and play the base of the song so that I can put my thoughts in words that can match the beat.

I repeatedly write and cross out lines as feelings keep changing in my mind but one thing links all of them as if it's a thread: that boy.

I don't even know his name because he never told me nor I asked, ‘yeah, we're pretty dumb.’ , but he made me feel so many different things I've never felt before. He made me stutter, smile, chuckle, stare, blush, laugh. He made my heart beat like crazy, made me feel handsome when he flirted with me, made me feel like a teenager again gushing over his crush. All of that in just two days. However, tonight I will leave and I won't be able to see him again. That's because life doesn’t work in the same way as those movies where you meet someone, lose his tracks and suddenly meet that person again some time later by accident, falling in love again with them. If I don't see him again today and we actually exchange names and numbers then I won't see him ever again. He may live far away from Seoul, he may even be living outside Korea and just spending his holidays here. Every hypothesis can be both right and wrong until I ask him. Well, I'm sure I won't ask him, too sure of a rejection to have the guts to make such a move and ruin this beautiful feeling.

He was a steady thought in my mind for these past two days and I regret wanting to chase it away. Why doing that when you can make him in a lovely memory? A memory that has to be written in a song in order to make sure not to be forgotten, a memory that can live forever unlike us. In people's mind, memories tend to fade as time goes by but a certain song can trigger a specific memory: it can be a place, a smell, something we did or someone we met in our life. I want him to be like that, be the memory of a special someone I met on a summer day, someone who made me feel special for a short period of time.

That's how he became the muse to my song. His smile, his words, his looks, the charisma he exudes, his sharp eyes mirror of a gentle soul. As I think of him, words flow out easily and before the day ends I have most of the song written.

"Why do you keep turning my heart on and off

However you want?"

"I can’t sleep because of you and suddenly it’s morning already.

What do I do with you?

I look at you but I think of you even more."

"What do I do with you?

What do I do because of you?

Every day, every day, every day

I like you so much, what do I do?

How about you?

Is it hard for you to sleep because of me too?

If you keep making my heart flutter,

What do I do?"

"Let’s hum together,

Let’s share earphones,

On the sketchbook of my brain, I draw you out every day.

(What am I saying)

Anyway, I just like you.”

"Sorry for repeating the same thing

But this is all.

I can try using hard words

But my true feeling is this, every everything"

"You’re so bright.

You shine so brightly that it reaches outer space."

As I write the last sentence, my phone rings. I pick it up and I notice it's the alarm. I set it so I wouldn't forget to grab my things and check-out from the B&B. I still have quite some time before coming back home, but I wanted to check-out early and spend some time to a nearby cafè which has a wonderful view of the sea.

I get up from my seat and put everything in the backpack, not caring about folding the towel or closing the food containers.

I start walking, headphones still on and head lowered on the notebook to read again the lyrics I've just written. That was a big mistake. I was too immersed in the song, jamming and humming to the beat, that I didn't notice that someone was standing on the shore. I bump into the said person head first. I pulled off my headphones as quickly as possible in order to apologise. I lift my head and my eyes grow wider when they focus on the person standing before me. It's him.

"I'm so sorry." I say while bowing to him.

"Ah, don't worr-oh? It's you ." He smiles at me, astonishment can be seen in his eyes.

"Yeah. It's me, again." I say feeling the tips of my ears getting redder by the second.

"Seems like we keep on meeting like this." He lightly chuckles.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s like the third time that this happens.” I say not looking him in the eyes.

"Which reminds me that I don't know your name. It's not like me to forget asking the name of a beautiful man like you."

"So, do you go around asking names of beautiful men?" I say, looking at him a little bit annoyed but just to joke around.

"T-that's not what I meant! I don't do that!" He utters, wriggling his hands to bolster what he was saying.

"Calm down. I was just joking!" I laugh a bit. "My name's Jihoon. Lee Jihoon." I stretch my hand forward.

"I'm Kwon Soonyoung." He grabs my hand and shakes it. "Your name is as cute as you." he continues, still holding my hand. I don’t know if I have to make him notice it or not but my brain decides for me.

"Uhm, not to be that type of person who ruins fun but you're still holding my hand." I mentally punch myself for the choice of words at the exact moment his hand leaves mine, the lack of contact suddenly too much to bear.

"I'm sorry, I was just too awestruck by your beauty." Soonyoung says while winking.

"Don't do that again." I deadpan but my heart is fluttering.

"What, winking or flirting?" He asks, wiggling his eyebrows and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Both. I didn't know you were the flirty type of guy." I giggle to make sure he had to mean it as a joke. And he did.

"Oh, so you thought about me? Good to know. What kind of guy do you think I am?" He nudges me, eyebrows still wiggling and smile widening.

"Don't get your hopes up. I didn't think about you." What a lie, Lee Jihoon! "You just didn't look as a flirty guy who likes to hit on beautiful men."

"I've said it already. I don't hit on every beautiful man walking around. I just hit on you, the most pretty, cute yet handsome and manly man I've met." Soonyoung says in the most natural way as if he had just said he's going out to buy groceries.

I blush, really hard, and I can't think of something reasonable to say. He may have taken the hint that I was too flustered to speak, so while he was rocking on his heels, he finally spoke up. "Would it be considered as a pick-up line if I say this to you?" his voice less confident than before.

"This? What do you mean?" I ask him.

"That I think we were fated to meet. We had to be here, we were in the right place at the right time." He keeps on rocking on his toes showing his shy side.

"That's definitely a pick-up line." I giggle and he does it too.

"You know, they say that if you meet a person once or twice it's still seen as a pure coincidence. From the third time, it's called fate. So, in other words, we're fated. Don't you think that too?" He asks with shining eyes as if he expected I'd immediately agree with his theory. Well, it's not completely wrong, I guess. If I wasn't stuck with this song, I wouldn't came here and met him. He wouldn't had become someone special to me, able to take over my heart and mind, throwing the emotionally constipated me in a hurricane of feelings. Yesterday I even WAVED to him like a little girl. ‘My friends wouldn’t let me live if they knew what I did’ . So, maybe it's true that we had to be here, we had to meet. "Maybe you're right" I finally answer him.

After that, we both stay silent for a while. I turn towards the sea, admiring the reflection of the sun over the water whose surface was slightly rippled by the breeze. As I enjoy the view, I remember the wish I made yesterday and a sudden wave of courage pervades me. I want to make my wish come true and I will do that by believing in fate. If it really brought us here, together, it means that we have to do something, right? I may be wrong but before it's too late and I change my mind, I clear my throat, turn towards Soonyoung with my eyes closed and say "What do you think if we talk about our destiny over a cup of coffee?" without taking a breath in between words.

Silence. He doesn't answer. I open my eyes, scared of what I can find before my eyes. Soonyoung has his eyes opened in disbelief. 'I fucked it up. I shouldn't have asked.'

"I don't really like coffee.." See, Jihoon? You had to stay quiet. "...but I'd love that. Actually, I was going to ask you but you were quicker, stealing my lines." Soonyoung says, smiling even brighter than before if it's possible.

"R-really?" I stutter, not believing what had just happened. I asked him out and he accepted. That's some character development.

"Really. Well, at least I can brag with my friends that I was asked out by a cutie like you." He coos over me and I smack him on the arm.

"Don't call me like that ever again." I glare at him, trying to look as angry as possible to conceal my beating heart. It lost not one but at least a hundred beats.

"As you wish, cutie." Another smack. "Ouch! Stop hitting me and let's go." Soonyoung laughs and grabs me by the arm, making me finally walk.

"Okay, let's go!"

Like that, my wish slowly started becoming true and that was all thanks to a boy met on a summer day while trying to get over a writer's block, thanks to Soonyoung. I was finally happy again and I could be it for a very long time.

"Every day, every day, every day

I like you so much, what do I do?"