Chapter Text
[whipped gays]
hopefulsprite: gUYS GUSY GUSYGUSYGUYSGSYSA
hopefulsprite: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
prettytae: HOES ANSWER YOUR PHONES THIS IS IMPORTANT I’M CACKLING
cuddlymochi: ??????
hopefulsprite: HYUNGWON FFASHKA
sleepysuga: i’m here
lovebugjoon: sup
modelstatus: present
whippedkookie: hola
prettytae: welcome welcome
hopefulsprite: H Y U N G W O N
whippedkookie: what about him omg
prettytae: he may or may not have given him his number
prettytae: and he may or may not have asked him out to starbucks tomorrow
lovebugjoon: whoaaaa! hobi!!
hopefulsprite: HE DIDN’T TECHNICALLY ASK ME OUT
hopefulsprite: PROBABLY JUST A FRIENDLY THING
hopefulsprite: NO NEED TO JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS AND CALL IT A DATE
hopefulsprite: BUT I AM VERY MUCH PANICKING
hopefulsprite: SEOKJIN YOU HAVE TO HELP ME
hopefulsprite: WHAT DO I WEAR
hopefulsprite: I’M FREAKING OUT FUCKANSKAJDS
prettytae: guys he’s so red right now it’s fucking cute
cuddlymochi: awww
prettytae: hobi less screaming he literally sits four seats away from you
hopefulsprite: I’M NOT SCREAMING YOU’RE SCREAMING
modelstatus: yeah because that’s believable
modelstatus: what time are you going out tomorrow i might be home
modelstatus: i’ll put an outfit together for you ;)
hopefulsprite: noon he said
modelstatus: perfect
lovebugjoon: i can't believe our hobi has a date look at you go
modelstatus: with a snacc to no less
modelstatus: i'm proud
hopefulsprite: iT MIGHT NOT BE A DATE GUYS DON'T GET ME EXCITED
taetae: you're already excited stop
hopefulsprite: OK FAIR
cuddlymochi: hey guys we’re going to get ice cream do you want anything
prettytae: strawberry milkshake
whippedkookie: chocolate milkshake
modelstatus: chocolate oreo milkshake
lovebugjoon: vanilla milkshake
hopefulsprite: sprite milkshake
sleepysuga: that’s not a thing
hopefulsprite: anything is possible if you believe in it hard enough
sleepysuga: what else do you want
hopefulsprite: …
hopefulsprite: lemon ice cream
sleepysuga: thats disgusting
hopefulsprite: fine
hopefulsprite: sherbert
hopefulsprite: i don’t care what kind just colorful pls
cuddlymochi: okay! <3
hopefulsprite: judgemental asshole
sleepysuga: that’s me
cuddlymochi: we’re gonna look ridiculous carrying five milkshakes and three cones out
prettytae: lol yeah
prettytae: are you gonna run into those guys again though?
cuddlymochi: oh
cuddlymochi: maybe
cuddlymochi: it’s okay! i have yoongi with me this time :)
cuddlymochi: coming in with him should throw them off
sleepysuga: if it doesn’t, who knows the best way to clean up blood?
sleepysuga: i hear it’s a pain in the ass
cuddlymochi: :)
prettytae: it is
prettytae: what i do is use a lot of bleach
prettytae: but make sure you wear gloves so they can’t find your fingerprints
prettytae: works for me
cuddlymochi: taehyung you’re too soft to murder anyone stfu
prettytae: busted again
sleepysuga: i’ll keep that in mind
whippedkookie: why do they hang around the ice cream shop though
whippedkookie: makes zero sense
cuddlymochi: lot of girls
cuddlymochi: and cute gay boys too apparently
whippedkookie: gross
cuddlymochi: yeah
modelstatus: stay safe you two! don’t let them steal your right to ice cream!
cuddlymochi: you mean don’t let them stop us from getting you ice cream
modelstatus: yes
[cuddlymochi changed the chat name to ice cream gays]
modelstatus: LOL
hopefulsprite: these names keep getting more and more accurate
.
.
.
cuddlymochi: so we’re here i don’t see them
lovebugjoon: good!
lovebugjoon: btw do you guys want to meet up somewhere so they don’t have to run around delivering ice cream
hopefulsprite: lol good point
hopefulsprite: how about our lunch spot by the tree
hopefulsprite: tae gets out of class in half an hour i think the rest of us are free right
whippedkookie: hello high school student here
modelstatus: LET’S ALL SURPRISE JUNGKOOK AT SCHOOL
lovebugjoon: !!!!!! ^^^
whippedkookie: well you can take “surprise” out
modelstatus: you get at 3:30?
whippedkookie: 3:00
modelstatus: perfect we’ll be there
whippedkookie: oh god
cuddlymochi: everyone meet up outside the school
whippedkookie: really not necessary
prettytae: ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY
prettytae: IS SEOKMIN THERE
whippedkookie: wtf why you asking
prettytae: SO I CAN MAKE OUT W YOU IN FRONT OF HIM
whippedkookie: yes he’ll be there
modelstatus: lmao so cute
whippedkookie: only tae is invited
lovebugjoon: sucks we’re all coming
whippedkookie: i’m embarrassed already
sleepysuga: we won’t embarass you
hopefulsprite: everyone loves my dancing it’s not embarassing
whippedkookie: oh my god
cuddlymochi: oh shit wait
Jimin quickly tucked his phone into his pocket and reached out to take Yoongi’s hand. They were waiting in the surprisingly long line to the counter, Yoongi standing just a step in front of the younger as he watched the texts appear one after another.
“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked, turning his head as soon as he felt Jimin’s harsh grip on his hand. The boy simply cocked his head in the direction of the door, moving until he was pressed against Yoongi’s side.
Three familiar men stepped into the shop, the tallest’s dark eyes already set on Jimin like a hawk.The latter felt an uncomfortable chill run up his spin and leaned further against Yoongi, looking everywhere but at the man he didn’t want to see.
Yoongi wasn’t slow to pick up on his boyfriend’s discomfort, and he bristled as soon as he found the source. Immediately he felt responsible for Jimin, a surge of protectiveess rising in his chest.
“Just ignore them,” he murmured, releasing Jimin’s hand to slide his arm around his waist instead, pulling him closer and glancing over at the three unwanted visitors with a cold, bored gaze.
The pair moved up with the line, everyone around them carrying on as if nothing was wrong. Jimin stayed glued to Yoongi’s side, fe
“Hey kitten,” the man chuckled, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip as he eyed the blonde up and down, “long time no see, hm?”
“Thankfully,” Yoongi spoke up, his arm coming up to squeeze Jimin’s shoulders tightly. The boy leaned into his grip, glaring daggers at the other men who were clearly blinded my clouds of lust.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” the man snapped at Yoongi, looking at him as if he were a dirty, stray cat.
“And we weren’t talking to you either,” the latter replied calmly, not batting a single eyelash at his tone. Instead he pushed the door open, gently pushing Jimin through the doorway.
“Come on back, kitten,” the man ignored Yoongi’s comment, attempting to push past him to chase after Jimin. He was licking his lips yet again, and it had Yoongi’s chest swelling with anger. He wasn’t going to let this pervert lay a hand on his sweet boyfriend, not over his dead body.
“Excuse me,” Yoongi stepped to the side firmly, blocking the man from moving forward, “he’s a human, just so you know, not a kitten. Not sure how you could mix those two up,” said the brunette. He kenw he was walking on thin ice at this point, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. The only thing he cared about was making sure he stayed far away from Jimin.
The man scoffed at the response, looking about ready to punch Yoongi square in the jaw, but the latter stayed put with a bored and irritated expression on his face.
“Most people don’t like to be eye-fucked, or cat-called,” Yoongi continued, keeping his place between his boyfriend and the man, “doesn’t usually work to get people in your bed, maybe a try a different method.”
Jimin stood behind Yoongi with a wide-eyed expression, staring back and forth between the two men in the doorway nervously. He couldn’t decide if he loved Yoongi for being his hero, or hated him because he was about to get himself killed.
“Then again, it’ll take a lot of work to get someone in bed with you. Have a nice day now,” Yoongi concluded the conversation and stepped back out of the door, letting it close between him and the now livid, fuming man still inside the ice-cream shop. He knew he wasn’t going to be murdered today- not with all the children and families and other students surrounding the shop. Without missing a step he turned and placed a sweet kiss on Jimin’s cheek, taking the other milkshakes from him to carry as they walked away.
“Yoongi…?” Jimin spoke quietly, wrapping an arm around Yoongi’s to hold.
“Mm?”
“Thank you,” he laughed softly, nuzzling against his shoulder, “what would I do without you?”
“You’d be fine, angel,” the elder (almost) cooed, smiling faintly over at Jimin.
“You almost got yourself killed, you know,” the blonde laughed again, “I thought he was going to knock you out.”
“I wouldn’t have let him,’ Yoongi shrugged, “when you’re involved nothing’s stopping me.”
Jimin had to bit his lip hard to keep from squealing out loud at that statement. He didn’t know what he did in a past life to find Yoongi, but he was more than thankful that he was his boyfriend. He’d never felt so lucky (or lovestruck) in his entire life.
“I love you,” he said, eyes sparkling as he looked over his shoulder out of habit, only to see that no one was following them.
“Love you too.”
[ice cream gays]
taetae: ???
taetae: JIMIN
taetae: PARK JIMIN
cuddlymochi: whoa yes?
taetae: GOD DAMMIT YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THAT
taetae: "OH SHIT WAIT" AND THEN DISAPPEAR BITCH I HAD A HEART ATTACK
cuddlymochi: sorry mom
taetae: what happened did you see them
cuddlymochi: yeah, but yoongi took care of it <3
taetae: good
modelstatus: what a hero
taetae: his superhero name is whipped suga
cuddlymochi: lol! true
cuddlymochi: i love my superhero boyfriend
taetae: soft hours only