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English
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Jiang Cheng Fic Collections
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Published:
2018-09-24
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1,302
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1/1
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green color corrector

Summary:

“All colors are the friends of their neighbors and the lovers of their opposites."
-
To help his brother-in-law hide some lovebites, Wei Wuxian gives Lan Xichen a quick crash course on color theory in return for some juicy gossip. He gets more than he bargained for.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Of course it would be Wei Ying to point out the obvious.

“Big Brother Lan, what is that on your neck?” he asked, tone light and innocent but expression anything but. Lan Xichen’s smile froze on his face, the temperature of the room instantly dropping a solid ten degrees.

“I beg your pardon?” the sect leader asked delicately, expression still eerily pleasant.

“I asked you what those marks on your neck were,” Wei Wuxian repeated, twirling on the balls of his feet. If he felt the panic coming from the disciples around them, he didn’t show it. One such disciple opened his mouth to speak, but closed it with a click when Lan Xichen raised his hand.

“Would you mind giving Master Wei and myself some space? I apologize for the trouble,” he asked, voice level and betraying none of what must have been whizzing through his mind. At this request, everyone around them scattered like birds shooed away, flying towards whichever corner seemed closest. Nobody wanted to be around for the inevitable bloodbath.

With a coy smile, Wei Ying shrugged as he pointed to one such offending imprint on creamy pale skin.

“Since you’re my brother-in-law, I feel like I ought to help you. Surely you’d lose face if you run around with hickeys exposed all day! Even I don’t do that, and you know how shameless I can be,” he explained, palms out placatingly.

Lan Xichen regarded the younger man carefully, weighing his options. On the one hand, it was painfully obvious what had happened to him; fair skin and love bites never blended together well. Besides, Wei Wuxian clearly had more experience in this matter.

On the other...well. There really was no other. Apart from spilling all the sordid details of the night before, there really was no more damage that could be done.

“I’m assuming there is a catch? Surely you aren’t helping me purely out of the kindness of your own heart,” the sect leader pointed out, raising one perfectly arched eyebrow. “Name your price.”

Wei Ying had the gall to look abashed as he chuckled, having been caught.

“Just one thing, that’s it. Can’t be too greedy now, can I? All I want, Big Brother, is to know who your dear companion was that would dare mark you as such,” he concluded, countenance shifted into one of false humility.

If Lan Xichen were a lesser man, he would immediately yank on Wei Wuxian’s ear and hiss listen here you little-

But as it stood, taking the high road was ingrained in him from the moment he understood speech. Besides, he doubted his little brother would be pleased should his cultivation partner be touched by any other man, no matter what intention the touch had.

“...very well. But do take care to keep your mouth shut about these matters and keep your nose out of places it doesn’t belong,” the sect leader responded, tone light but laced with danger on every syllable.

Unfortunately, Wei Wuxian was used to staring down danger in the eye and laughing as he charged head-on. The implicit threat did nothing to faze him.

“Well then! You’re in luck- I happen to carry some of the stuff I use in my pockets, so I can help you fix up right this second. We can worry about more damage control later,” he chirped happily, one hand digging through a pocket of his until it took out a small and flat ceramic pot, an intricate blue lotus glazed onto the white top.

Lan Xichen recognized it immediately as a cosmetics pot.

“So you mean as to cover up the marks?” he asked, eyebrow lifting ever so slightly once more. At this rate, his brow muscles would be getting quite the workout this morning.

“Mmh, yes, but not just any makeup! There is an art to this, you see,” Wei Ying admonished, voice an exaggerated imitation of Lan Qiren’s pedantic tone. Lan Xichen couldn’t help but quirk a smile at how spot on the impression was; if nothing else, Wei Ying’s flair for the dramatics has never changed throughout the years.

“Alright! Allow me to introduce you to Hickey Coverage Cultivation. Step one, Big Brother, is this. Surely you’ve heard of color theory, yes?” the necromancer continued, lifting the ceramic pot’s lid off to reveal a pale green cream, the color not unlike that of freshly boiled soybeans.

A small, hesitant nod was all the reply that was given.

“Then you probably remember complementary colors. I won’t get into the whole mess, but if the colors are opposite on the wheel, then they kind of….cancel each other out. Yin and yang and all that good stuff, whatever, blah blah.”

During his small ramble, Wei Wuxian dipped two fingers into the pot and smeared some of the green cream onto his fingertips.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, Zewu-jun, I’ll be helping you out this time around so you know how it’s done,” he gave as a warning before smearing the cream from his fingers onto the largest lovebite on Lan Xichen’s neck.

To his credit, Lan Huan’s eyes only widened marginally from being touched so abruptly; he made no indication that touching the bruise, which was surely sore, was painful in any manner. While touching, especially in such a manner, is typically a no-go in any situation, Wei Ying was never one to follow rules much...he honestly should’ve seen this coming.

“Gently pat it to blend it in- don’t smear,” the younger man instructed, demonstrating the motion. “And let it rest for a few moments before you put on the next layer, which is…”

Away went the first container, replaced this time by a similar ceramic pot, this time with a cobalt mountain scene on its lid.

“Tada! Skin-colored makeup! The trick is to use the green under it to neutralize the red of the bruise,” Wei Ying revealed, taking the top off with a gentle clink of pottery.

Just how much practice had Wei Wuxian had with covering up lovebites? Lan Xichen honestly didn’t want to know, but having seen the subtle, possessive smugness of his younger brother’s face on most mornings gave him a good idea.

“Aaaand there we go. All done,” Wei Ying concluded, applying the final layer of coverup with an artisan’s touch. Unless one were to get really, really close and squint, it was hardly noticeable that there was such an angry mark there previously.

“I appreciate your tutelage and enlightening knowledge,” Lan Xichen said diplomatically, smiling once more. He began to turn away, to put a bit of distance between himself and his brother-in-law, but Wei Wuxian stepped around him to block his movement.

“Ah ah, you did promise to spill the details. After all, you must honor your word, no?” the little rascal taunted, smile radiating pure mischief.

Lan Xichen simply sighed, sidestepping in the other direction to finally get a little personal space back.

“Very well. In that case, would you mind doing me a favor after?”

An emphatic shake of the head; Wei Ying wouldn’t mind at all, not if he got to find out who debauched the elder jade of Lan!

“Send Jiang Wanyin my regards when you teach him how to cover these up as well. If you don’t mind, please also give him his own containers of makeup; he needs a lot more than I do.”

It was blissfully quiet as Lan Xichen breezed out of the room, expression placid and congenial once more. There wasn’t much that could stun Wei Wuxian, Grandmaster of Running His Mouth, into dead silence, but this seemed do the trick.

By the time Wei Ying rebooted and let out a scandalized screech that rang through all of Cloud Recesses, the sect leader was far, far away.

Notes:

speaking from personal experience here and not necessarily any makeup tutorials. ₍₍ (ง ˙ω˙)ว ⁾⁾
as per usual, hit me up at nanthebread on tumblr if you want to chat!

HAPPY MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL EVERYONE. EAT LOTS OF MOONCAKES, OR NOT, BECAUSE THEY'RE ACTUALLY REALLY UNHEALTHY.