Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jeongguk’s concentration falters again, irritation bubbling up as his bike drives off the road. Jimin’s been clinging to him all evening, whining that no one’s paying attention to him but it’s not Jeongguk’s fault everyone wants to play Mario Kart.

“Hyung, come on,” Jeongguk grouses, nudging Jimin away. Jimin doesn’t budge. If anything, he seems to hold Jeongguk a little tighter.

He’s got his weight leaning right up against Jeongguk, chin hooked over his shoulder and Jeongguk can’t lean forward without dragging Jimin along with him. He can’t play right when Jimin’s weighing him down and it’s agitating him more and more.

“Get off of me, hyung,” Jeongguk tries again but Jimin just whines.

“What happened, Jeongguk?” Taehyung laughs, up in first place. “Thought you said you were gonna make me eat shit.”

“Fuck off,” Jeongguk snaps, zooming past Bowser. He’s back in eighth place, still has one lap to go and Twisted Mansion is one of his better maps.

In the end, Jeongguk loses. Jimin doesn’t let go of him despite another two attempts to loosen his arm away. Instead, he somehow manages to squirm closer, arm wrapping around Jeongguk’s waist.

Taehyung’s whooping, smirk wicked as he laughs at Jeongguk’s tenth place. “Damn, what happened, Jeongguk?

Even Yoongi did better than him.

Jeongguk’s so fucking annoyed, anger bursting through him like an erupting volcano. He shoves Jimin away a little rougher than he intends, shooting up from his seat. He can’t bring himself to care when he sees Jimin’s surprised expression tinged with hurt.

“Stop being so fucking annoying!” Jeongguk lashes out, chucking his controller onto the couch. It bounces against the seat, the rest of his friends all staring at him. The room’s gone dead quiet.

Taehyung's up on his feet, brows furrowed together as he looks between Jimin and Jeongguk, but Jeongguk’s too pissed to think straight. He wouldn’t have lost if Jimin had just left him the fuck alone!

“You’re so damn clingy,” Jeongguk accuses, glaring at Jimin. He doesn’t say anything, wide eyed surprise closing off into nothing.

Jimin straightens up on the couch, red colouring his cheeks and he can’t even look at Jeongguk when he mumbles out an, “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” Jeongguk mutters, stalking off toward the kitchen to get himself something to drink. He can feel their stares burning against his back but Jeongguk doesn’t give a shit.

Jimin’s always like this: draping himself over Jeongguk, clinging onto his arm, or worse, hugging him and then refusing to let go. Normally, Jeongguk let it slide, passing it off as just a Jimin thing, but Jimin could stand to leave him alone if he asked him to.

And Jeongguk had been asking all night.

When he gets back into the living room, a beer in hand, half his friends are gone. Including Jimin.

He’d heard the door opening and shutting, a twinge of guilt settling in the pit of his belly but he’s still too furious, too self-righteous to think about the consequences. He doesn’t care if he’s ruined the night.

Yoongi looks over at him, rather unimpressed, and Seokjin lets out a low whistle.

“Nice one.”

“What?” Jeongguk defends, slumping into the seat next to Yoongi. Namjoon had been sitting in it earlier. “He should try being less needy.”

“There’s something called tact, Jeongguk,” Yoongi mutters, the Mario Kart theme playing in the background.

“And not being an asshole,” Seokjin tacks on, leaning back in his chair. He’s giving Jeongguk a rather disappointed look.

“Whatever,” Jeongguk mumbles, brooding. He takes a sip of his beer, head resting against the back of the couch. “He’s always all over me; it’s annoying and it’s not like I didn’t ask him to leave me alone. He just never fucking listens.”

“Look, I get it. He’s a little clingy but you fucking embarrassed him in front of everyone,” Yoongi points out, tossing his controller aside. It lands in the empty spot Jeongguk’s left and the emptier one Jimin’s left. He closes his eyes, letting out a breath.

Maybe he’d overreacted.

“Uh,” Namjoon’s voice comes, lingering in the doorway. Jeongguk doesn’t bother glancing over, eyes still shut. Namjoon smells like the crisp autumn air. “Guess that’s a wrap?”

“Yeah, no shit,” Seokjin snorts. Jeongguk looks over at him, weary and tired. Seokjin still looks disappointed, maybe even annoyed now. “How’s Jimin?”

Namjoon doesn’t respond, mouth opening and then closing, and Jeongguk imagines it’s because he’s still in the room. “Right. I’m going to bed.”

Jeongguk leaves them, the door to his room slamming shut behind him. He drains his beer and shoves it on his desk to join a clutter of other shit he hasn’t bothered chucking into the trash yet. If Hoseok saw the state of his room, he’d get an earful.

He almost smiles, before his mind reminds him that it was always Jimin who defended him from Hoseok’s nagging. Jeongguk groans as he flops face first into his bed.

He’s definitely fucked up.

✦✦✦

Jeongguk’s on door duty being the youngest so when the buzzer goes off, he walks over to the door diligently to let the last of his friends up. Namjoon practically lives at the apartment now — Yoongi had finally worked up the courage to ask him out — and Hoseok had shown up early.

Their weekly Friday night ritual is easily Jeongguk’s favourite thing about every week, thankful for the opportunity to forget about school and just hang out with his favourite people. They’d settled on another night in this week, Yoongi claiming to be too tired to go to a bar.

Jeongguk plops back down next to Hoseok on the couch, phone in hand as he goes back to mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. He’s about to open the group DM where some 40 odd unread messages await him when the door opens and Taehyung and Seokjin trail in. Seokjin waves a 24-pack in one hand as everyone cheers at their arrival.

“But did you bring the dukbokki?” Hoseok asks, getting up from his seat to give Taehyung a hug. Taehyung makes a disgruntled face as Hoseok ruffles his hair affectionately, taking the bag he’s got in his hands away.

“You’re only using me for food, Jung Hoseok,” Seokjin accuses, huffing as he throws off his jacket. It lands over the back of the single seater they usually leave for him .

“Aw, hyung, you know I love you best,” Hoseok assures, grabbing Seokjin’s face in his hands as he squishes his cheeks. “My nicest, kindest, most handsome Jinie hyung.” He makes a bunch of kissy sounds, too; Seokjin’s fake hurt dissolving into laughter.

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” Seokjin simpers out, arm looping over Hoseok’s shoulders as he finally lets go of Seokjin’s face. Hoseok waggles his brows as Yoongi rolls his eyes, making a disgusted face at them.

Hoseok wanders back to Jeongguk, dukbokki in hand, once Seokjin heads for the kitchen to stick the beer in the fridge. Jeongguk’s mouth waters at the scent but if he has dukbokki first, he’ll have less room for their usual order of fried chicken.

Taehyung’s wandered over to Jeongguk, flopping down onto the ground, his back to the couch. Jeongguk smooths out Taehyung’s hair, brows furrowing together.

They’re missing a person.

“Where’s Jimin-hyung?” Jeongguk asks, as Taehyung’s head falls back to settle on his thigh. He glances up at Jeongguk, an eyebrow quirked like he’s surprised Jeongguk noticed.

“Not that I should be telling you this, but he has a date.”

For a split second, the information doesn’t sink in and then Jeongguk’s stomach sinks horribly, something almost inexplicable bursting in his chest. The news doesn’t sit well with him, Jeongguk’s mouth pursing into a thin line.

“Oh,” Jeongguk mutters, sinking back into his seat. “But we always hang out on Fridays. Together. As a group.”

Taehyung shrugs. “I mean, last time didn’t exactly go so great, did it?”

“Yeah, but — ”

“He’s allowed to go on dates, Jeongguk,” Hoseok says, looking at Jeongguk from the corner of his eye. He’s propped his container of dukbokki onto the table, angling himself to face Jeongguk.

“I never said he wasn’t,” Jeongguk bites back, a little too defensively. He can’t figure out why hearing the news makes him feel so bad, so upset. Jimin always hung out with them on Fridays — he’d even insisted that they weren’t allowed to make other plans on Fridays.

“Then why’re you so upset?” Hoseok asks, voice carefully neutral.

“I’m not,” Jeongguk insists, scowling. Taehyung snorts from where he’s sitting, twisting around to look at them both. He rests his elbow up on Jeongguk’s thigh, mouth downturned into a frown.

“Did you even talk to him after last time?”

“No,” Jeongguk mumbles, guilt swarming in his belly. He’d wanted to apologise in person but Jimin hadn’t responded to any of the messages in their group chat — Jeongguk had checked. He hasn’t seen Jimin all week either, which feels weird, too, and Jimin hasn’t texted him once since last weekend.

Normally, Jimin always had something inane to tell Jeongguk about and even if Jeongguk only replied every once in a while, Jimin still texted.

Not that he owed Jeongguk any texts or whatever. He’d really run his mouth, hadn’t he?

“Jeongguk,” Hoseok scolds, his name drawn out with disappointment. It was uncanny how much Hoseok reminded Jeongguk of his own mother, guilt doubling down oppressively. “You didn’t even try to text him?”

“You know I suck at texting,” Jeongguk mumbles, drawing at straws. He rubs at his face with his hands, feeling worse and worse. Jimin was his friend and at the very least, Jeongguk should have tried to talk to him.

“You’re a dumbass,” Taehyung concludes, pulling away from Jeongguk. He’s already up on his feet and heading to the kitchen.

“I didn’t think he wouldn’t come today,” Jeongguk says quietly, heart sinking. It’s not like Jeongguk hasn’t lost his temper before — Jimin always forgave him. Maybe he just hadn’t said anything so harsh, especially not in front of everyone.

“Just...talk to him. Maybe in person at this point,” Hoseok advises, patting Jeongguk’s arm. “He was...I’m pretty sure he cried, Jeonggukie.”

All the air leaves Jeongguk’s lungs, chest squeezing around his lungs so tight he doesn’t think he could breathe in if he tried. Hoseok’s brows are furrowed together, mouth downturned, and Jeongguk feels like shit.

“I made him cry,” he says, the words echoing around in his head. Jeongguk isn’t just a dumbass, he’s an asshole.

“Probably shouldn’t have told you that,” Hoseok mutters to himself, glancing back up at Jeongguk. He scoots closer, brushing Jeongguk’s hair back. “Just make sure you apologise. And don’t drag it out any more.”

“Yeah.”

The rest of the night seems to drag by, and all Jeongguk can think about is how Jimin, drunk and clingy, would have sat next to him all night keeping him company. A warm presence at his side.

✦✦✦

It takes Jeongguk five tries to find Jimin.

He starts his search at Jimin’s apartment only to get no response. Jeongguk wonders if Jimin had maybe not come home at all, worrying his lip between his teeth. For some reason, the thought of Jimin spending the night with some guy makes Jeongguk feel worse, a nasty kind of irritation flooding through him.

He had gone out on a date, he reminds himself but then Taehyung texts him to tell him Jimin’s gone to study at the library and that Jeongguk should “haul his sorry ass over there and apologise”.

Jeongguk had zipped over to the library right away, but Jimin’s favourite spot — the 10th floor study room that overlooked the science buildings — was taken by a group of girls and Jeongguk may be an idiot, but he knew Jimin wouldn’t have bothered trying to find anywhere else to sit. He had his favourite spots and he was pretty uncompromising about them.

He then went to the math building only to find the student lounge devoid of all life. Jimin had told him he liked going there sometimes because it was always quiet. On a whim, Jeongguk wanders through the art studios, having hung out with Jimin and Hoseok there before. He doesn’t find Jimin there, but memories of Jimin goofing off in the studios with them filter through Jeongguk’s mind and leave him queasy and upset.

When he finally tries for the coffee shop he’s spent many an afternoon holed up in with his friends, he finds Jimin sitting off to the side, head shoved in a textbook. He’s in this oversized black hoodie, the hood pulled over his blond hair, fingers just poking out of the sleeves where he’s clutching his textbook. His glasses are perched precariously on the tip of his rosy nose, eyes a little swollen and cheeks a little flushed.

For a moment, Jeongguk stands just inside the doorway, staring at Jimin as he swallows down his anxiety and gathers up all his courage. As shitty as he feels about how he’d acted, he still doesn’t want to do this.

Jeongguk’s seen Jimin ice people out before; he just never thought he’d be one of those people.

Eventually, he gets his legs to cooperate with him and walks with a certain amount of trepidation over to Jimin. His shadow falls over the table before he’s clearing his throat. “Hyung.”

Jimin looks up, a little surprised and through the unzipped bit of his hoodie, Jeongguk can see the dark hickies sucked into his skin along his neck. Jeongguk’s skin prickles fiery hot at the sight, fingers curling into fists.

His palms are sweaty.

“Jeongguk,” Jimin says, blinking, and then he seems to realise what Jeongguk’s so focused on, pink blooming in the highs of his cheekbones. He zips his hoodie up, the white t-shirt he has underneath disappearing along with the hickies. It takes a moment for Jeongguk to uncurl his hands, giving Jimin a grimace.

“Hey.”

Jimin nods at him, his surprise and embarrassment quickly replaced with indifference. It stings but Jeongguk had expected it. This he can handle. The venomous fury bubbling just under his skin is a bit more of a surprise.

“Um, can I sit here?”

Jimin shrugs, focusing back on his textbook. Jeongguk takes the seat anyways, hand reaching out for the wooden back as he pulls it out. He sits down rather awkwardly, head tilting to the right just a little before he straightens back up.

“Um,” he starts, rather eloquently, brain trying to figure out what exactly he wants to say. He’d focused all his energy on finding Jimin that he hadn’t given his apology much thought. “You didn’t come yesterday.”

“I’m surprised you noticed,” Jimin drawls, glancing up at Jeongguk briefly. He looks mean, eyes sharp.

“Why wouldn’t I notice?” Jeongguk balks, leaning forward in his seat, brows furrowing together.

Jimin just purses his lips, looking back down at his textbook. “Did you need something? I have a test to study for.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk says, a little annoyed by Jimin’s dismissiveness. He knows it’s his fault for taking so long to actually talk to Jimin, but he could at least give Jeongguk a chance. “I wanted to apologise.”

“Apology accepted,” Jimin tells him, tone clipped. He doesn’t even look at Jeongguk. “So if that’s all, can you please leave me to study?”

“Don’t you think you’re being unfair?”

Jimin looks up at him sharply, glaring and Jeongguk almost shrinks back, shocked to find so much animosity directed at him. “I’m being unfair? Why don’t you figure your own shit out before telling me what I’m being.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jeongguk snaps back, frustration and annoyance already getting the better of him. Jimin was never just straightforward with him, always choosing to be passive aggressive.

“It means that I’m leaving you alone since that’s what you want.”

“I never asked you to — ”

“Don’t.” Jimin’s tone leaves no room for Jeongguk to argue back, words dying in his throat. For a split second, Jeongguk thinks Jimin might cry, panic swelling in his chest but then Jimin’s clenching his jaw. He squares up his shoulders, chin struck out as he bites out, “I get it. You don’t like me. So just — just leave me alone.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth!” Jeongguk exclaims, hands curling into fists again. “Of course I like you, hyung! I just wanted to apologise — ”

“Then you’ve apologised. We’re good,” Jimin interrupts again, breaking the remnants of Jeongguk’s hold on his temper.

“Fine!” he yells, shooting up in his seat. It goes skittering back, catching the attention of everyone in the cafe. “Hope your new boyfriend keeps you busy. Looks like he got a good start, huh?”

Jimin’s eyes widen, face flushing red and then he’s spiking up out of his seat, too, furious. “Fuck you. How dare you — ”

“Whatever the fuck. Sorry I even fucking bothered,” he sneers, stomping out of the shop. He’s seething even as the cold autumn air hits him, too angry to bother talking the bus home.

He carries the look of shock on Jimin’s face all the way home with him. If Jimin wanted to be stubborn, then so fucking be it!

✦✦✦

Namjoon’s staring at him from across the booth, expression carefully schooled into one of as little judgement as possible but his eyebrows have kind of just settled halfway up his forehead. Jeongguk feels like he’s just let down his dad.

Yoongi, on the other hand, is just gaping at Jeongguk aghast. “Are you the world’s biggest dumbass?”

“He’s definitely vying for first place,” Hoseok drawls from next to him, sounding equally done. Jeongguk hasn’t even dared to look at him, too afraid to see the disappointment.

He’d spent the last ten minutes poorly explaining how his conversation with Jimin had gone a few days ago after Hoseok had asked him how things were going with Jimin. The initial anger had worn off pretty quickly and while Jimin could do with being less petty, Jeongguk shouldn’t have lost his shit a second time.

“It’s not all my fault,” he mumbles staring down at his hands. They’re cooped up in a booth at their favourite bar. Jeongguk had more or less tagged along with them out of boredom and now he’s going to get his ass handed to him.

“Yeah, it’s always good to add fuel to the fire,” Yoongi snorts, shaking his head in disbelief. Namjoon gives Jeongguk a sympathetic look as he leans in a little closer, squeezing one of Jeongguk’s hands.

“Maybe, next time, just…” Namjoon trails off, sighing. “Just be a little gentler.”

“He’s the one who didn’t even want to talk!” Jeongguk argues, getting out of his slumped position. Jeongguk had gone to speak to Jimin with a genuine intention to apologise and Jimin had just spat in his face.

“You literally made him cry,” Hoseok reminds him, lips pursed into a thin line as he eyes Jeongguk. “It wouldn’t have killed you to just be a little patient with him.”

“Okay, okay,” Yoongi interrupts, hand motioning downwards to get everyone to get off of Jeongguk’s back. He appreciates the support, especially since Yoongi’s the one who looks most done with Jeongguk’s bullshit. “Jimin’s not exactly a saint when he’s upset.”

“Well, this wouldn’t be an issue if Jeongguk wasn’t always sending so many mixed signals,” Hoseok tacks on, drowning the contents of his glass. He’s always a little tetchy when he’s drunk, inhibitions lowered.

“Uh, what?” Jeongguk interrupts but his hyungs just ignore the gaping expression on his face and keep talking.

“Feelings are confusing, Hobi,” Namjoon supplies. “Jeongguk’s almost as bad as Yoongi.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yoongi grouses, glaring at Namjoon who just smiles at him indulgently. “I’m not the one who was so oblivious that I didn’t realise I was on a date.”

“You never actually asked me out!” Namjoon exclaims, brows furrowing together as his expression turns into a pout. “How was I supposed to know?”

“Uh, guys,” Jeongguk tries, hoping to direct the conversation back to his predicament and whatever it was that Hoseok was implying. Mixed signals? What mixed signals? “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Don’t you remember their first date? Yoongi took Namjoon to an aquarium — ” Hoseok starts and then makes a little ‘o’ with his mouth as he realises what Jeongguk’s actually asking them about. “Oh. Wow, you’re like Namjoon’s obliviousness and Yoongi-hyung’s inability to express his feelings all mixed into one, huh. Must be hard.”

“Fuck off, Hoseok,” Yoongi bites but Hoseok’s just grinning at him smugly. Namjoon, at least, looks a little mollified, focusing his attention back on Jeongguk.

“I think it’s confusing for Jimin that you’re so hot and cold,” Namjoon offers, but Jeongguk is no closer to figuring out what that means than he was to Hoseok’s useless mixed signals insight.

“I don’t — ”

“You always go to him when you want comfort,” Hoseok says, head propped up on a hand as he angles himself to look at Jeongguk. His eyes are a little glazed over.

“He’s my friend,” Jeongguk retorts, disliking the direction this conversation was heading in immensely. “What’re you trying to say?”

“Do we really have to spell it out for you?” Yoongi huffs, dragging a sip out of his beer. Namjoon elbows him and Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“Just...think about it,” Namjoon suggests, smiling as best he can. It’s not a very reassuring smile. “And maybe give Jimin some time to cool off.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Hoseok adds on, slinging an arm over Jeongguk’s shoulders. He pats Jeongguk’s shoulder almost pityingly as if Jeongguk were some kind of big, dumb dog.

Jeongguk thinks maybe Hoseok’s not wrong.

✦✦✦

Jeongguk’s favourite place to go to unwind is the gym but it comes with its drawbacks.

He’s not particularly fond of all the douchebags he has to share the floor with and enjoys their company even less in the locker rooms. Normally, he goes early in the morning to have the place more or less to himself but he’s been tenser than usual lately so he’d wound up back at the gym a second time before dinner.

Except now as he dries his hair, fresh out of a shower, he has to deal with some meathead’s running commentary on whoever he’d fucked last night. It fills Jeongguk’s mouth with a bad taste and he diligently does his best to ignore him and his two friends, back turned to them.

“He was so desperate,” the guy laughs, voice muffled by his clothes. “Didn’t think he’d be such a slut though. Not after how hard he made he work.”

“Nah, I heard he used to spread ‘em for anyone,” his friend chimes back. Jeongguk slips his belt through the loops of his jeans, having worked them back on. His shirt sits on the bench next to him.

“Damn, Park’s ass is so fat,” his other friend sighs, and Jeongguk’s entire body stills, halfway to securing his belt. “You lucky piece of shit.”

Jeongguk takes them in, nose wrinkling at the sight of them. He tells himself he’s being paranoid, that Jimin would never go out with a guy as skeezy as this one. He had better taste.

“He takes it like a bitch, too,” the guy brags, leering at his friends, the hoodie he’s fitting his arms through showing off the football team’s mascot. Jimin’s last ex had been some knucklehead on the football team, too, right?

Jeongguk’s gut twists.

“His ass as tight as everyone says it is?” The first friend asks, already dressed. He’s leaning against the lockers, Jeongguk’s attention split between getting dressed and making it to dinner on time — he’d promised Seokjin and Hoseok he’d have dinner with them — and confirming who these assholes were talking about. Jeongguk fixes his bag, pretending to rifle through it.

“Tighter,” the guy responds, still smirking. “He acts all prim and proper but he’s a real freak. Let me fuck him without a condom.”

The guy’s friends whistle, one of them clapping him on the back. “Guess it is true what they say about Park Jimin, huh?”

Jeongguk’s entire world comes to a standstill, liquid rage boiling in his bloodstream so quick he’s nearly blindsided.

“Man, what I wouldn’t give to have a go at him,” one of the guy’s friends sighs and Jeongguk’s fingers curl into fists, already stepping over the bench dividing him from the douchebags.

“I’ll let you have a go,” the guy offers, like Jimin were some kind of sex toy to be passed around. “Bet he’d be into it anyways. Fuckin’ sl — ”

He never finishes the sentence, Jeongguk’s fist colliding with the side of his jaw with a satisfying crunch. Pain radiates from his knuckles into his hand and arm but Jeongguk’s past the point of reason, livid that this fucking piece of shit was talking about Jimin like this.

“Try saying that again, motherfucker!” Jeongguk snarls, right hook colliding with his nose. He goes stumbling back, surprise morphing into rage as he lets out a yowl of agony. The guy’s friends take a moment to realise what’s happening but by then, Jeongguk’s elbowed one of them right in the gut, landing another hit right against his throat. He goes spluttering to his knees, choking for air.

“What the fuck!” the other friends yells, but all Jeongguk’s rage is directed at the fucker in front of him. Jeongguk’s yanked back by the friend, punched square in the gut by the guy talking shit about Jimin. He doubles over, the air leaving his lungs. The guy fists his hand in Jeongguk’s hair and punches him again and again and again, but Jeongguk recovers, spluttering as he kicks at the guy’s knees until he’s buckling down. Jeongguk grabs him by the hair and rams his knee against his nose and he goes down in a mess of blood and groans, clutching at his broken nose.

The friend who’s holding Jeongguk back shoves him into the lockers and when Jeongguk turns to face him, he gets socked right in the eye, head banging against the lockers, pain blooming through his head. Jeongguk takes two more punches to the face, one to the jaw and the other to the temple. He thinks he’s bleeding, but he charges at the guy’s friend, toppling him over the bench. They land in a heap of limbs and then Jeongguk’s punching with abandon, furious that this fucker wanted a “go” at Jimin.

He’s being dragged off the guy by a pair of hands, body thrown back. The guy Jimin’s seeing looks down at him, foot connecting with Jeongguk’s abdomen. A second kick follows in quick succession but this time Jeongguk grabs his foot, his other arm hooking behind his knees and toppling him down. Jeongguk rolls out before he lands on top of him, fists flying when he straddles the guy.

There’s yelling around them, someone’s calling Jeongguk’s name and he’s being pulled off the guy, adrenaline fueling his fury. Jeongguk struggles against whoever’s holding him — this time it’s more than one person, hands clutching at his arms. He still kicks out, snarling with rage.

“Stay the fuck away from Jimin, you fucking got that? Fucking piece of shit,” Jeongguk spits, specks of blood mixed right in. The sole of his Timbs connects with the guy’s ribs one last time before he’s yanked away by whoever’s breaking their fight apart.

Everything after is a blur. One minute Jeongguk’s in the gym, the next he’s being thrown out by security and being told he’s been banned.

Jeongguk doesn’t even have his shirt on, his bag and clothes thrown at his feet. He’s huffing with fury, pain radiating throughout his body and finally starting to sink in as the cold autumn air begins to cool him down.

He uncurls his hands, yanking his shirt off the ground and pulling it over his head with a groan. Rather than sticking around and catching sight of that piece of shit again, Jeongguk grabs his bag and stalks off toward the dining hall he’d promised to meet Seokjin and Hoseok in.

By the time he gets there, he’s out of breath, body fighting against the pain throbbing through him. The hits he’s taken to his abdomen are worse than he’d thought and something’s managed to cut him along his temple, blood trickling down. His eye’s slowly swelling up and Jeongguk’s pretty sure he’ll be dealing with limited vision for the next couple of days. He needs to get his hands on some ice.

“Jeongguk?”

His head whips in the direction of the voice, eye widening. Suddenly his mouth is dry, Jeongguk swallowing around nausea. Jimin’s staring at him with worry and shock, rushing over.

“Jeongguk, what — You’re bleeding,” Jimin cries, scrambling into his over the shoulder bag and digging out some tissues. He’s reaching up to dab at the cut on his temple, Jeongguk wincing at the touch.

“Hey hyung,” he slurs, jaw aching.

For some reason, seeing Jimin now settles the agitation still swarming in his chest. He wishes he could reach out and touch him, just hold him.

“What the fuck happened?” Jimin asks, concern laced through his voice. “How did you — God, you’re not even wearing a jacket!”

“‘M fine, hyung,” Jeongguk smiles, or well, he tries to. But mostly he grimaces, feels bad for making Jimin worry even if the concern floods him with warmth. Maybe they’d be okay. Maybe Jimin would forgive him.

Jimin glares up at him, grabbing Jeongguk’s hand and pulling him toward the dining hall. Jeongguk trails after him obediently, doesn’t utter a word as Jimin pulls him inside and demands ice from one of the service workers. She takes one look at Jeongguk and understands, disappearing.

“What happened?” Jimin asks him once he’s pulled Jeongguk off to a corner to fuss over his injuries. Jeongguk doesn’t have it in him to tell Jimin why he’s so bent out of shape. Even thinking about what those boys had said about him makes rage boil in his veins, stomach twisting into knots. He feels like throwing up knowing what Jimin’s — whatever he was — thought of him.

“Was being dumb,” Jeongguk mumbles, unwilling to look Jimin in the eye. He feels bad, holds the ice Jimin’s acquired for him to his jaw. His right eye’s swollen over so he stares at Jimin through the good one.

Jimin’s so pretty. Jeongguk’s always known that but it’s like he’s seeing him for the first time, marvelled by how soft he looks with his pillowy lips and fluffy cheeks. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth and Jeongguk wants to tell Jimin what happened, tell him he should stop seeing that piece of shit but Hoseok and Seokjin show up and then he’s being dragged off to Hoseok’s nursing friend’s place to get patched up.

Jimin has a lab he can’t miss so he doesn’t come and Jeongguk glances back at him, giving him the best smile he can muster. Jimin only worries his lip between his teeth and gives him a small wave.

Jeongguk’s heart feels full in his chest.

✦✦✦

There’s pounding on the front door and Jeongguk’s brows furrowing together. He hadn’t buzzed anyone up and Yoongi’s at Namjoon’s.

His body still aches, muscles stiff and uncooperative as he hauls himself up from where he’s been lying on the couch. Yoongi had given him an earful when he’d seen the state Jeongguk was in but he’d deflated once Jeongguk had explained why he’d decided to have a fist fight in the locker room with a guy on the football team.

The pounding on the door gets louder and Jeongguk’s pretty sure whoever’s on the other side kicks at. He arches a brow at the display of rage but hobbles over, reaching to unlock it.

“Open the fucking door!”

It’s Jimin and he sounds furious. Jeongguk’s heart sinks and as he finally gets the door open, Jimin stumbles in, colliding with his chest, ready to slam his fist against the door again. Jeongguk steadies him, arm wrapping around his waist but he’s shoved back, Jimin reacting as if Jeongguk’s touch had burned him.

“Hyun — ”

Jeongguk doesn’t even get a word out, confusion and surprise doused out by agony when Jimin glares at him with venom in his eyes.

“How fucking dare you!” Jimin snarls at him. It’s as if a volcano has erupted, attacking Jeongguk with its fury. “What the fuck is your problem, huh? You fucking got into a fight with Soohyun because you were mad I was dating him? Who the fuck do you think you are?” He drives his point home on the last question by jabbing him in the chest with a finger.

“That’s not — ”

“Do you hate me this much?!” Jimin goes on, unwilling to let Jeongguk get a word in. He takes a step forward, shoulders hiked up and fury radiating off of him in terrifying waves. “Do you hate seeing me happy? God, I — What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Hyung, I don’t — ”

“Just save it!”

“Can you please — ”

“No! I don’t want to hear whatever the fuck you have to say!” Jimin spits, red in the face and fuming. Jeongguk’s never seen him like this, caught completely off guard. His chest is slowly caving in, heart crumbling in his hands. “Stay the fuck away from me and Soohyun. Just — just leave me alone!”

And then Jimin’s whipping around and disappearing, Jeongguk’s attempt to grab him by the wrist futile as he misses. He stands in his doorway watching Jimin disappear down the corner of the hallway, heart hammering in his chest so loud he can’t hear himself think, doesn’t think he’s processing anything anyways.

Jeongguk’s not sure how long he stands there, but he doesn’t retreat back into the apartment until a neighbour’s returning back to their place, groceries in hand and confusion written across their face. They glance at Jeongguk but he finally closes the door, feeling hollowed out.

His face is wet, a hand brushing the tears away and he swallows around nothing.

Jeongguk stumbles back to the couch, crumbling onto it, curling into himself. If he’d thought a few punches had hurt, he’d been wholly unprepared for Jimin’s wrath.

Hurt throbs all the way down to his fingertips, his heart aching. He can’t seem to stop crying.

Chapter Text

“I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t stop moping,” Yoongi says, the scowl evident in his tone as he comes to stand in the doorway to Jeongguk’s room. Jeongguk just grunts in response and continues to play the newest game he’s downloaded to his phone to distract him from life.

“He’s gonna realise he’s being a dumbass,” Yoongi adds, walking into the room.

Jeongguk hasn’t really bothered leaving the apartment for anything except classes for the past week. His body still hurts and he feels defeated in a way he’s never experienced before. His black eye’s more or less healed, some yellow bruising remaining along the orbital bone but there are still blotches of purple against his ribs.

He doesn’t want to think about Jimin.

“Don’t you have a date?” Jeongguk asks, glancing up from his phone only briefly. He hasn’t left his bed today mostly because he doesn’t have to — he slept in and missed his class that morning — but also because he really doesn’t want to.

Yoongi flops down on the other end of Jeongguk’s bed and stares over at him. It feels kind of terrible to be looked at with such pity but Jeongguk’s too tired to be angry about that right now. He’s too tired to be angry about anything, really.

“Joon’s coming over soon, yeah,” Yoongi answers, patting Jeongguk’s leg. His fingers rub over Jeongguk’s blanket and he feels shittier for making Yoongi worry. “You can come with, if you want.”

Jeongguk snorts. “Yeah, who doesn’t love being the third wheel.”

Yoongi scowls at him, and Jeongguk knows if his head had been within arm’s reach, Yoongi would have smacked it. “Brat.” After a pause, he taps Jeongguk’s leg again, nudging him. “Come on, you haven’t eaten anything today.”

“You’re being weird, hyung,” Jeongguk mumbles, letting his phone drop from his hand with a sigh. Pulling his blanket up closer to his chin, Jeongguk gives Yoongi his undivided attention. “I’m gonna nap.”

“You can’t sleep all your problems away.”

“Watch me.”

“Yah!” Yoongi exclaims, smacking him this time and Jeongguk winces on purpose, laughs at the worry that flashes across Yoongi’s face before his expression turns sour at being fooled.

“I’ll be okay, hyung,” Jeongguk assures, mustering up his best smile. “Everything just hurts.”

Yoongi’s scowl softens and he shifts over, hand reaching to push Jeongguk’s hair back. “I’ll bring you something to eat so you better fucking eat it.”

Jeongguk smiles, grateful for Yoongi’s concern. “Have fun with Joonie-hyung.”

Yoongi mutters something under his breath about Jeongguk being a ‘damn brat’ before getting up. He glances back at Jeongguk before leaving his room, closing the door behind him.

Jeongguk had ended up as Yoongi’s roommate on accident really. Yoongi hated having a roommate, but when Jeongguk had stumbled into him a week into his first year and then continued to stumble into him every day thereafter, Yoongi had finally asked him why the fuck he was always running through the music building. Jeongguk’s excuse was that he never got up in time for the early bus and he lived pretty far away from campus.

For all of Yoongi’s squawking and sulking, he’d grown a soft spot for Jeongguk and had offered Jeongguk the spare room in his apartment. It had worked out pretty well all things considered. Yoongi had been struggling to pay rent by working extra hours at the convenience store leaving him little time to anything else. With Jeongguk splitting rent, he’d started working less and Jeongguk likes to think he’d gotten less grouchy, too.

Two years later and Jeongguk maybe considered Yoongi to be his best friend but sometimes, Yoongi’s gruffness melting away still left him kind of perplexed even if mostly it just felt good to have someone like Yoongi in his corner.

It’s been a rough week. Jeongguk can’t quite make sense of everything he’s feeling, hurt clawing its way over everything else and rendering him useless. He knows it’ll pass, eventually, but waiting for sadness to stop clinging to him is exhausting. He wishes he could just shake it off, let it drip off of him in a single go.

His belly growls but Jeongguk ignores it, unwilling to get out of bed and get something to eat. He thinks he hears the front door open but Jeongguk slips his eyes shut, biting at the inside of his mouth when he sees Jimin’s angry expression.

He wonders if that’ll ever stop haunting him.

✦✦✦

Jeongguk doesn’t really want to be here but Yoongi and Namjoon had more or less dragged him out. The bar is crowded, their group all swarmed around one table.

Jeongguk’s very purposefully picked a spot as far away from Jimin as possible, not wanting to disrupt him or make him feel uncomfortable. He’s grateful the bruising on his face has disappeared.

They haven’t seen each other since Jimin told Jeongguk to leave him alone and he’d almost thought he’d never really see Jimin again. He’d skipped Jimin’s birthday party considering he hadn’t wanted to ruin it or show up looking all mottled from his bruises. Instead, he’s looked through all the Instagram pictures and tried not to feel too angry about Soohyun’s existence being anywhere near Jimin’s.

Every now and then, he can’t help but sneak glances at Jimin. They hadn’t said anything to each other when Jimin had shown up, mouth twisted into a frown, tugged along by Taehyung. He didn’t want to be here either, evidently, avoiding all eye contact with Jeongguk.

Now, with two people between them, Jeongguk can only make out the pufts of blond hair peeking out of Jimin’s baseball cap, pulled low to more or less cover his eyes. He’s in an oversized bomber jacket, the sort of thing he usually stole out of Jeongguk’s closet.

His heart pangs in his chest, willing his eyes away.

He has an essay due in two days for the history class he’s taking to meet his breadth requirements and Jeongguk barely has an outline. Normally, he’d have gone to Jimin for help but well, that bridge had effectively gone up in flames.

He’d asked Namjoon for help but Namjoon had a tendency of letting things get away from him, eyes lighting up when he talked about anything he really loved and Jeongguk didn’t have the heart to interrupt him and ask how his tangent had anything to do with his paper.

Jimin laughs at something Hoseok says, Jeongguk’s brain fuzzy and floating off. He’s not entirely here, Jimin’s laughter tinkling through the air. It’s pretty — Jeongguk’s always liked Jimin’s laugh, always liked making Jimin laugh.

He wonders if it’s possible to turn off the part of his brain that won’t stop screaming Jimin, Jimin, Jimin! at him but nothing in life is ever that easy. Jeongguk sighs instead, sinking lower in his seat, eyes slipping shut.

The bar is filled with noise, thrumming with energy and yet Jeongguk feels listless, lingering on the cusp of loneliness despite being surrounded by his friends. Sometimes Jimin’s vicious anger plays behind his eyes and his chest just caves in all over again.

A nudge at his side has Jeongguk flickering his eyes open and he glances at Yoongi, brows furrowed together, mouth frowning. “Gguk?”

“Just tired, hyung,” Jeongguk says but they both know that’s a lie. What’s Jeongguk tired from? Lying in bed all week?

He straightens up in his seat, avoiding Yoongi’s worried gaze and grabs his phone from where he’d left it face down on the table. For a while, he just blows through the three lives he’s earned back on Bejeweled and then he’s left bereft of a distraction again. His friends are all laughing at something Taehyung is telling them, and Jeongguk feels bad for not paying attention but he can’t seem to focus.

Jeongguk glances back down at his phone and makes the mistake of opening Instagram, finds himself staring at the top post on his feed — a selfie Jimin’s taken with Soohyun. He’s smiling so brightly, eyes turned into little crescents and Jeongguk can’t stand it.

His gut twists horribly, hand tightening around his phone tightly as his teeth grit together. That fucking piece of shit didn’t deserve Jimin. And the impression Jeongguk’s gotten from the rest of his friends is that they didn’t like Soohyun either. He was a two-faced, arrogant piece of shit and Hoseok couldn’t believe Jimin was dating him in the first place.

Jeongguk’s run through the altercation with Soohyun a million times in his head, forcing himself to rethink his fight with Jimin, trying to figure out if he’d really done the wrong thing.

Yoongi had told him he’d have done the same but that hadn’t made him feel any better.

Jimin’s laugh drowns out whatever Seokjin’s saying, breaking Jeongguk’s downward spiral and it’s probably in his head but his ribs ache.

“I’m going to the washroom,” Jeongguk mumbles out, standing up from the booth they’re crammed into. He doesn’t wait for a response from anyone, just goes, glad that he’d taken the outside seat.

He splashes cold water against his face when he’s in the washroom, reminding himself that eventually he’d get over this. When he’d had his first break up, he’d thought he’d never get over it and well, Jimin wasn’t even his ex.

Still, Jeongguk feels haunted by longing, by an overwhelming desire to fix things. He wishes he could hit a rewind button and go back to that night, temper his own anger, not fuck things up completely.

He misses the stupid Snaps Jimin always sent him just to make him laugh despite Jeongguk’s abysmal effort to respond back. He misses the texts, too, asking if he’d eaten, if he’d slept enough. Normally, Jimin would have been glued to his side by now, draining Jeongguk’s beer along with his own.

He always piggy-backed Jimin home on bar nights but Jimin hasn’t touched anything alcoholic tonight. That had always annoyed him, too. Jimin being clingy and demanding to be carried and now Jeongguk just feels like shit knowing Jimin didn’t trust him, didn’t like him.

Jeongguk’s reflection stares back at him in the mirror, the door to the washroom opening. He snaps out of whatever pity party he’s throwing himself, head dropping as he shuffles out.

When he wanders back to the table he catches sight of Soohyun. He’s standing by their booth and Jeongguk’s hands curl into fists as he blinks at the scene, heart sinking. Jimin’s standing next to him, smiling stupidly and Jeongguk can’t seem to see anything else. Soohyun’s arm is wrapped around Jimin’s slim waist and he has his smug look on his face.

Briefly, Jeongguk catches the annoyance on his friends’ faces but he doesn’t stick around to see anything else. Jimin’s smile burns against his heart, an agonizing reminder of what he’s lost. Whatever resolve that had helped him come out for the night crumbles and he leaves the bar, heart thudding in his chest two times faster than it should. If he’d felt like shit earlier, he feels worse now.

There’s a beer can littered on the ground outside and Jeongguk finds himself kicking it all the way home, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. It’s getting colder out, autumn’s chill replaced by winter’s bite.

He thinks about all the times Jimin had wrapped his own scarf around Jeongguk’s neck, scolding him for not dressing warmly. Jeongguk misses that, too.

✦✦✦

Midterms roll around and Jeongguk’s thankful for the distraction, throwing himself into studying and little else. Yoongi and Hoseok hover around him constantly and Jeongguk would find it annoying if he had it in him to care. He tells himself to be grateful he has friends who care this much and lets them nag him into eating on time and not sleeping his days away.

Jeongguk steadfastly avoids their Friday night hang outs and for the most part avoids seeing Jimin on campus at all. They never really had a similar schedule anyways, but somehow, they’d always ended up seeing each other at least once a day.

It’s strange now, finding all the holes Jimin’s left in his life. Jeongguk hadn’t even realised he spent so much of his time with him, never conscious especially of all the time they spent alone. It had been easy. They were both quiet studiers, content to just sit in each other’s company as they caught up on assignments and readings.  And when he thinks about it now, Jeongguk did have a tendency of seeking Jimin out when he was upset or stressed out. Jimin had a way of always making him feel better, lighter.

He’d let Jeongguk rest his head in his lap and whine to his heart’s content, his hand never stilling as it carded through Jeongguk’s hair, a quiet comfort. He wonders how he’d taken so much for granted, how Jimin had been kind enough to put up with him despite his obvious selfishness and that’s what it feels like now. Selfishness.

Somehow, this feels like the worst heartbreak he’s ever been through. Guilt sits in his belly day and night, refusing to leave. He wonders if he’ll ever stop missing something he never quite had.

Sighing, Jeongguk resolves to go home. He’s been staring out the window of the coffee shop for thirty odd minutes now, too miserable to focus on design theory. Normally, he’d have been holed up in the coffee shop with Taehyung and Jimin but he hasn’t seen much of Taehyung since his fallout with Jimin either.

It’s as he’s packing his things up that he sees them across the street from the cafe. Soohyun’s got his arm draped over Jimin’s shoulders, an annoyed scowl on his face. Jimin looks uncomfortable, shrugging Soohyun’s arm off his shoulders, and something ugly twists in Jeongguk’s belly, grasp on his textbook tightening.

Soohyun grabs Jimin’s wrist, tugging him closer and Jimin’s pulling his wrist out of Soohyun’s grasp, the expression on his face shifting to anger. Jeongguk’s pretty sure they’re yelling at each other; he’s grabbing his phone before he can think it through and dialing Taehyung’s number.

He picks up on the third ring, a muffled, “Hello?” answering Jeongguk’s call.

“Hey, hyung,” Jeongguk starts, not entirely sure what he should say, if he’s overstepping again. “It’s Jeongguk. I think Jimin-hyung could maybe use some help right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m — I’m at that coffee shop about ten minutes from my place, the one — ”

“Yeah, I know which one.” Taehyung sounds a lot more alert now. “What’s wrong with Jimin?”

“They’re fighting — Jimin and Soohyun, and I think Soohyun — ” Jeongguk watches as Soohyun grabs Jimin by the arm a second time, his grip higher up this time around his forearm. He yanks on Jimin’s arm, tugging him in the direction he wants to go and Jimin struggles, more and more upset. There’s a group of people lingering just behind them, and Jeongguk doesn’t understand why someone isn’t helping Jimin.

“Jeongguk? Hello?”

“You should call him, hyung,” Jeongguk instructs, hurrying to shove the rest of his things into his bag. “Call him right now.”

Jeongguk hangs up, throwing his backpack over his shoulder and rushing out of the coffee shop. The street’s busy when he gets out, cars coming from both directions and Jeongguk can’t just zip across. The nearest crosswalk is too far so he resolves to wait until traffic clears.

He can hear them yelling, Jimin telling Soohyun to let go of him as Soohyun tells Jimin to shut up. Jeongguk’s jaw clenches, fingers digging into the strap of his backpack. Someone’s stepped in, telling Soohyun to let Jimin go and at the same time, Jimin’s phone has started ringing. Combined it’s enough of a disruption that Soohyun lets go of Jimin, who stumbles back, scurrying to pull his phone out of his pocket.

By the time Jeongguk gets across the street, Jimin’s disappeared down the road and Soohyun’s grumbled off in the other direction. He finds himself sagging with relief, a hand running through his hair. The small crowd that had built up around the couple has dispersed and Jeongguk stands there watching Jimin disappear.

His phone light sup in his hand, texts from Taehyung flashing on the screen.

thanks

i’ll text u later

✦✦✦

Jeongguk’s making his way through a powerpoint when the door to the study room opens. He’d sat purposefully off to the side, hoping that when Jimin eventually did show up, he wouldn’t see Jeongguk through the glass windows until it was too late.

His plan works because Jimin’s staring at Jeongguk with wide eyes in the doorway, mouth formed into the perfect little ‘o’, a hand still on the doorknob.

The part of Jeongguk’s brain that’s been slowly gnawing at him to see Jimin with his own two eyes is finally appeased, finding him looking like his normal self. He’s in a white oversized sweater, hands covered by the sleeves. His hair’s a little too long, needs a trim, but it only softens his features and he looks okay. For the last two days, Jeongguk had come up with all kinds of idiotic scenarios, unable to shake the idea of Soohyun hurting Jimin. But seeing him now, it puts his heart to rest.

It hadn’t helped that Taehyung had been weirdly cryptic but excessively thankful that Jeongguk had called him to call Jimin. He’d tried to worm out what had happened between Jimin and Soohyun but Taehyung had been pretty adamant on not revealing anything. On the one hand, he’d appreciated the dedication to protecting Jimin but on the other, Jeongguk kind of wanted to punch Taehyung in the face.

He hadn’t slept at all last night, tossing and turning in bed as he’d thought about the distraught look on Jimin’s face. Had Jeongguk made Jimin look like that?

“Sorry,” Jimin mumbles, turning to leave but before he takes a step out of the room, Jeongguk calls after him.

“Wait! Don’t go!”

Jimin stills, looking back at Jeongguk and he can’t get anything from Jimin’s expression, closely guarded. He’d really only come to the study room to guarantee a meeting with Jimin, to see him.

“I’ll get out of here. Gimme a sec.”

To his credit, Jimin just stands in the doorway, a hand clutching the strap of his cross body bag, his lip caught between his teeth. Jeongguk had purposefully kept himself from making a mess, wanting a clean getaway if Jimin did show up. He’s packed up and flinging his backpack over a shoulder in under a minute and proceeds with shuffling out of the room.

Jeongguk doesn’t let himself linger for too long, worried that he’d screw things up between them even more and there’s a desperation that claws at him to say something, to fix things but Jeongguk knows Jimin’s stubborn. He’d been pretty clear about wanting nothing to do with Jeongguk.

“Sorry,” Jeongguk says when he’s standing in front of Jimin, hoping to slip out of the room. He points at the door and Jimin seems to understand he’s going to have to move if Jeongguk’s going to leave. He shuffles aside and Jeongguk can’t help but look him over one last time.

Jimin looks a little less put together from this close. His eyes are puffy, dark circles under his eyes and his hair’s frizzy in a way that he never lets it get. Jimin’s meticulous about taking care of himself.

Jeongguk tries not to clench his jaw, doing his best to seem as non-threatening as possible before he squeezes past Jimin. He gets about five feet from the door before looking back but finds it closed.

He’s not surprised but for some reason, it hurts all the same.

It doesn’t sink in until he’s gotten back to his apartment that Jimin had actually spoken to him — just one word, his brain supplies unhelpfully, but he ignores it. It still counted!

For the first time in weeks, Jeongguk smiles, falling into his bed with the goofy grin still plastered to his face. Jimin had talked to him, hadn’t just ignored his existence and Jeongguk’s heart thrums loudly in his ears.

He stares at the ceiling of his room and decides he’s going to count this as a victory.

✦✦✦

“You actually showed up,” Seokjin says, eyebrows disappearing into his hair. He’s got the front door of his apartment open for him and Jeongguk rolls his eyes.

“Did you come to open the door just for me?” Jeongguk teases, smiling as best he can. Since the night out at the bar, Jeongguk’s avoided about three Friday night hangouts but inasmuch as it hurt to see Jimin, Jeongguk had decided he’d rather get to see him once a week than not at all.

Also, Taehyung had been pretty hellbent on making sure Jeongguk came. He’s showing up mostly because he’d had his ass handed to him when Taehyung had bet him he could get more kills than Jeongguk and had then proceeded to outdo Jeongguk 34 to 23 in one match alone.

Suffice is to say, Jeongguk had been effectively shamed into agreeing to whatever Taehyung wanted.

“Had to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating when you buzzed up,” Seokjin answers, grinning, pulling Jeongguk in for a hug. He sinks into it, not realizing how much he missed just being around his friends. Seokjin’s apartment is the biggest, but somehow they still mostly found themselves crammed into Yoongi and Jeongguk’s place. Maybe it had to do with how many rules Seokjin imposed, his apartment the sort of thing you saw in a catalogue.

“Wow, the royal treatment huh?”

“Only for our golden maknae,” Seokjin grins, pulling Jeongguk to the kitchen with him. There’s pizza and Jeongguk busies himself with grabbing a slice and inhaling it as quickly as he can. He ignores how his brain is screaming at him to look for Jimin.

He gives in eventually — eventually being about two minutes in —and spots Jimin curled up on the couch next to Namjoon, giggling every now and then as Yoongi shouts at the television. They have some cooking show on and apparently Yoongi has a lot of feelings about one of the contestants.

“Jeonggukie!” Hoseok exclaims, rushing over to him and for a brief moment, Jeongguk’s eyes meet Jimin’s, his attention shifting to the kitchen. Jeongguk looks away first, smiling at Hoseok as he accepts the hug that comes. He gets a wet kiss on the cheek for his trouble, scowling as Hoseok laughs. “Wow, you really came.”

“That’s what I said,” Seokjin says, mouth still full of food.

“Taehyungie said he’d get him to come. Guess he figured out how to unlock the Sulky Jeongguk level,” Hoseok snickers, arm looping around Jeongguk’s shoulders.

“You’re both annoying,” Jeongguk informs them, ignoring how they both grin at his expense before grabbing a box of pizza and heading into the sitting area.

“Yah! No eating in my living room!” Seokjin yells after him but Jeongguk only turns around and sticks his tongue out. Taehyung whoops when he drops down onto the couch next to him, pizza box flipped open in offering.

Despite Seokjin’s nagging to stop eating in his living room, they forge on ahead, taking a chance on his threats of castrating them if they got pizza sauce on his rug. Taehyung pops in some movie he’s been dying to watch and with some shifting around, everyone’s comfortable.

Jeongguk does his best to actually watch the movie and not just stare at Jimin, the dark room effectively hiding where he was really looking. Things had been a little easier lately, maybe because he’s finally clued in that Jimin hasn’t just outright refused to hang out with the rest of their friends when Jeongguk was around. Yoongi had told him things were still salvageable.

Jeongguk’s not sure he’s holding out hope for that but he actually enjoys his time with his friends, not stuck in his own head feeling bad for himself, guilt eating him up alive.

Lately, he keeps poking and prodding at the ball of feelings he’d been doing a swell job of ignoring and he’s not sure he entirely likes what he finds raveled up in its confines. Jeongguk’s inability to just let this go, to move on means he either has to come to terms with what he’s feeling or extract himself out of his life and start anew.

He’d been banned from the gym and had resorted to working out at home so maybe a new start at a different university wasn’t a bad idea.

“Pretty sure the aliens on Mars can feel you staring at him,” Yoongi tells him dryly, snapping Jeongguk out of his daze. He quickly averts his gaze back to the TV, ears burning.

“Shut up,” he mutters, sinking lower into his seat. He should have sat somewhere else, eyes always finding their way back to Jimin. It’s like he can’t get enough of staring at him, drinking in the plushness of his lips and the way his cheeks look soft enough to take a bite.

Yoongi just snickers, and Jeongguk manages to avoid looking at Jimin for a solid fifteen minutes or so, but then his laughter is tinkling through the room and Jeongguk’s attention is drawn right back.

He misses Jimin.

“How’d you know?” Jeongguk hears himself ask, gaze still lingering on Jimin. He looks happier today, doesn’t have that somber air lingering about him like the day Jeongguk had seen him in the study room.

“How’d I know what?”

“That you liked Joonie-hyung,” Jeongguk mumbles, suddenly embarrassed he’s said anything at all. He kind of wants to sink into the couch and disappear but he looks at Yoongi instead, snorting when he finds Yoongi with his beer can lifted halfway to his waiting mouth.

Yoongi brings the can down, blinking owlishly twice before shrugging a shoulder. “I dunno. Guess...I just wanted to share everything with him? Like, you know, when good shit happened, when bad shit happened. He’s good at, like, making shit better.”

“You’re very romantic, did you know that, hyung?”

“Shut up, asshole.”

Jeongguk smirks, laughing when he sees the tinge of pink in Yoongi’s cheeks. He can’t help but lean over and pinch Yoongi’s cheek, cooing when he gets his hand swatted away angrily. “No wonder it took you a hundred years to seduce Namjoon hyung.”

“Namjoon wouldn’t know seduction if it came and slapped him across the face,” Yoongi snorts, glancing over at his boyfriend. Namjoon’s half asleep on Hoseok’s shoulder, who’s splitting his attention between whoever he’s texting and the movie.

“Besides,” Yoongi continues, “you’re one to talk.”

“Fuck off,” Jeongguk grumbles, refusing to look at Jimin. He’s half on top of Taehyung at this point and Jeongguk can’t help but feel a little jealous, a little upset that it’s not him. They always cuddled during movies.

“Well, I’m glad you’re finally cluing in,” Yoongi smiles, leaning back, his shoulder pressing warmly against Jeongguk’s own. “Thought we’d have to hold an intervention.”

“I’m kinda mad you didn’t,” Jeongguk grouses, side-eyeing Yoongi. “Maybe I wouldn’t have royally fucked things up if you had.”

“So now it’s my job to tell you when you have a crush on someone?”

“I’m clearly clueless, hyung, so yeah, it is.”

“Fuck off, you little shit.”

Jeongguk laughs, letting himself enjoy the moment. The seven of them together and yeah, maybe he would fix things with Jimin. He just had to wait it out.

✦✦✦

Jeongguk’s lying sprawled on the studio floor watching Hoseok run through choreo for an upcoming show. Normally, Jimin would be here too, but well, Jeongguk had seen to that. It feels weird but Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, cheering Hoseok on.

He’d wanted some feedback on his routine and Jeongguk doesn’t think he’s the best person to go to but he does his best. Watching Hoseok dance, being in the studio — it makes Jeongguk feel normal.

The hopeless feeling hanging off his shoulders for so many weeks is starting to waver and Jeongguk finds himself running toward the light at the end of the tunnel as hard as he can.

Still, it figured that Jeongguk hadn’t realised how he’d felt until Jimin was completely out of his grasp, until he’d pushed Jimin to hate him. It makes him feel nauseous, that he’d hurt someone so much, that he’d done this to himself.

When he’d dated in high school, he’d always been kind of passive about it. His first girlfriend had asked him out and he’d said yes mostly because he’d thought he had to. She’d broken up with him in about two months, calling him insincere. His longest run was about six months and that time, he’d thought he actually really liked the guy but it turned out, Jeongguk really just liked being people’s friend.

With Jimin, it felt different. He’d never felt so desperate before, had never wanted to protect someone quite the same way and he only beats himself up more for screwing things up.

And maybe it’s stupid that he feels hopeful about things working out, about winning back Jimin’s trust but he wants to try. He wants to sit in Hoseok’s favourite studio with Jimin at his side.

He wants to hold Jimin’s hand in his own, and taste the sweetness of his mouth, too, but he’s a little scared about that one, heart shaking in his chest at the thought.

✦✦✦

Jeongguk’s groaning to Namjoon about his coding professor as he looks for a seat in the busy cafeteria when Namjoon interrupts him, a smile in his voice. “Jimin’s here!”

Jeongguk’s head whips in the direction Namjoon is looking and spots the familiar head of blond hair. Namjoon waves over at Jimin but he doesn’t see them at first, only catching sight of them when Namjoon starts walking over to him.

Briefly, Jeongguk contemplates just bailing on Namjoon but he just paid 10,000 won for his meal and he’s not about to abandon it. A jolt of nerves runs through his body at the prospect of being near Jimin with just one friend as a buffer. He swallows it down, telling himself to be brave.

Besides, how was he going to fix anything if he kept running away? Right?

He takes a big breath when they reach the table, Namjoon plopping down next to Jimin. Jeongguk offers Jimin a tentative smile and is surprised when he gets one back, however reserved. They don’t say anything to each other but Jeongguk takes the smile as a win, setting his plate down across from Jimin.

Busying himself with his food, Jeongguk lets Jimin and Namjoon talk, filtering in their conversation as he scrolls through his Instagram feed. He’d gone to Jimin’s account a few days ago and found all trace of Soohyun gone. He probably shouldn’t be so pleased about it, but he is. It’s not like that meant anything for him.

They’re talking about chemistry and how it’s kicking Jimin’s ass and Jeongguk feels a little stupid but it’s so nice to hear Jimin like this. He hides his smile as best he can, content just to hear Jimin whine about how he thinks he’s failed his midterm. Jeongguk already knows Jimin’s being silly considering he’s never failed anything in his life and Namjoon tells him as much.

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Me? Dramatic? Never,” Jimin grins, an elbow propped up on the table. “It wouldn’t kill my profs to go easy on us, you know. Four midterms in one week is a death sentence.”

“Don’t you thrive on sadistic academic practises?” Namjoon grins, chin propper up on his hand.

“Not everyone has a masochism kink, hyung,” Jimin retorts in return, laughing when Namjoon goes red in the face, spluttering as he straightens out in his seat.

He’s saved from Jimin’s teasing when a classmate from a course he’s taking approaches him. Jeongguk uses the opportunity to stare at Jimin, warmth flooding his belly at the sight of his rosy cheeks and bright smile. His eyes are crinkled up, little crooked tooth on display. Jeongguk swallows.

“Be right back, guys,” Namjoon smiles at them both before heading over to his friend’s table. He leans over to look at whatever they’re showing him on their laptop and it leaves Jeongguk alone with Jimin.

Jeongguk looks down at his empty tray, chewing on the inside of his cheek before glancing back up at Jimin. He’s already returned his attention to the textbook he’d had open in front of him before Namjoon and Jeongguk had shown up.

It’s shameless of him, but Jeongguk can’t seem to stop staring at him, heartbeat picking up and how had he taken this long to see how beautiful Jimin is? What the fuck had he been doing before?

“Hyung,” Jeongguk says, gripping his chopsticks tightly in his hand as if they’ll somehow lend him some courage. He’s not even sure what he wants to say, just that he needs to say something.

Jimin looks up at him, and the annoyance Jeongguk expects isn’t there. His expression is carefully neutral, an eyebrows quirked up.

“I — I miss you,” he says, surprising even himself. It’s not that it isn’t true but Jeongguk had been hoping to sound a little less desperate in his first real attempt to talk to Jimin. But then, maybe he owes Jimin this much. He’s okay with groveling.

Jimin looks as surprised as Jeongguk feels, big eyes blinking profusely as they take Jeongguk in. He takes the opportunity presented to him and sucks in a big breath, giving Jimin a determined look. “And I’m sorry. For a lot of things and I hope, maybe, one day you’ll hear me out.”

Jimin opens his mouth to say something, brows furrowed together and Jeongguk’s lunch feels like it’s going to come right back out. He shakes his head, already moving to stand up. “I’ll — I’ll get going. Take care of yourself, hyung.”

Jeongguk rushes out of the cafeteria and it’s not until he’s standing outside, winter chill biting at his skin that he seems to slow down. He doesn’t think he could handle a rejection from Jimin just yet but well, Jimin’s expression hadn’t been bad.

He nods to himself and reminds himself that slow and steady was okay. He could be patient.

✦✦✦

Jeongguk’s getting ready for a match when someone bangs on the door to Taehyung’s door. It startles him into dropping his remote, eyes widening at the insistence of the knock, and then he’s scrambling up to see who it is. Had Taehyung left his keys here?

When he looks through the peephole, he finds Jimin on the other side and Jeongguk’s heart does this thing, stuttering to a stop before sinking into his belly with a swoop. He almost doesn’t want to open the door but he does when Jimin won’t stop looking over his shoulder, a jittery edge to his actions.

“Hyung?” Jeongguk answers, already stepping aside. Jimin’s head snaps back to look at him, eyes wide with something that looks akin to fear. Jeongguk’s chest feels tight, belly coiling itself into one giant knot.

It feels like he’s experiencing a sinking sense of déjà vu, and any moment now Jimin’s gonna tell him to fuck off. He swallows around nothing, pulling his phone out of his pocket and texting Taehyung furiously to get back to the apartment as quickly as possible.

“Is — Where’s Taehyung?” Jimin asks, voice a little frantic.

“He just — He went out to get food,” Jeongguk explains, scratching at the back of his neck. “Do you — I mean, you should come in, hyung.”

That seems to get Jimin moving as he steps into the apartment, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He seems to be shrinking in on himself and Jeongguk wishes it was okay for him to reach out and touch him, ask him what was wrong.

“Is — Is everything okay?” he manages to ask when Jimin just seems to sag against the wall as he takes off his boots.

Jimin just nods, already heading straight for Taehyung’s bed, slumping down on top of it. Jeongguk glances at his phone and sees a bunch of question marks from Taehyung, followed by a coming.

Jeongguk looks over at Jimin and he’s hunched over, his phone in his lap. He’s typing something in and Jeongguk imagines he’s texting Taehyung, too. Still, Jeongguk can’t throw off the feeling that something’s Terribly Wrong and his mind hones in on just one person.

His fingers curl into fists.

“Did something happen with Soohyun?”

“It’s none of your business!” Jimin snaps, and Jeongguk feels like he’s been slapped, taking a step back. He doesn’t see the panicked expression on Jimin’s face as he turns away from him, zeroing in on his bag. “I didn’t — ”

“Right,” he mumbles, the back of his neck burning. Jimin doesn’t want you in his life, he reminds himself. He grabs his bag, unsure if he was forgetting anything but it didn’t really matter. He could swing by Taehyung’s again some other time.

He can’t seem to swallow around the hurt in his throat, the way it radiates out from his chest and pulses through his limbs. Jeongguk wants to laugh. How could he have thought things were going to be okay?

He’d done this. He’d burned this bridge.

Bile burns up his throat and Jeongguk can’t look at Jimin.

“Jeon — ”

“Tae-hyung’s on his way,” he says before leaving the apartment. He doesn’t bother waiting to hear whatever Jimin’s saying, palms coming up to press at his eyes as he stumbles out of the apartment. He skips the elevator and when he gets outside, he remembers he can’t go home. Yoongi and Namjoon were having date night and he didn’t want to ruin it by being their constant third wheel.

He makes it halfway down the street before he runs into Taehyung, a bag in one hand - the jjajangmyeon he’d gone out to get probably.

“Jeongguk! Where are you going?” Taehyung asks, grabbing him by the arm. “I thought you were sleeping over.”

“Jimin doesn’t want me there,” Jeongguk answers, shrugging off Taehyung’s hand. His brows furrow together and he scowls.

“It’s not Jimin’s apartment. I swear to god, he’s — ”

“It’s fine, hyung,” Jeongguk sighs. He’s tired, that familiar exhaustion finding its way back, teeth sinking into Jeongguk readily, hungry. “He seemed really freaked out, you should go back quickly.”

“But you can’t — ”

“I’ll go to Jin-hyung’s. Don’t worry about it.” Jeongguk offers his best smile to Taehyung, who just purses his lips, nodding.

Jeongguk doesn’t bother texting Seokjin, wandering around Seoul on his own. Eventually he ends up sitting in a pojangmacha, drowning a bottle of soju on an empty stomach, mind going blank, and when it closes, he winds up at the Han River, collapsing in the grass and lies down, the tips of his fingers burning from the cold.

He’s not sure he can feel his nose anymore, but he sniffles all the same, murky black clouds occluding the starry sky. Jeongguk’s heart won’t stop hurting and he wonders when he’ll break free of this, when Jimin will let him escape his orbit.

✦✦✦

“Did you want to get pneumonia and die?”

“People don’t die from pneumonia anymore, hyung,” Jeongguk counters, obediently taking the tea Yoongi has shoved into his hands. He’s scowling so hard at Jeongguk that Jeongguk thinks maybe his face could actually stuck like that. He’d fallen asleep by the Han River last night, waking up disoriented and with a pounding headache at maybe six o’clock in the morning. It was a nap really, his phone having died when he left the pojangmacha. Aching feet had carried him all the way back home and when when he’d jostled the front door open, it had been to four frazzled, panicked looking hyungs.

“Who the hell told you that?” Seokjin snaps as he swathes Jeongguk in a third blanket. It’s excessive at this point but Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, lest Yoongi and him really kill him.

“It kills over a million people a year,” Namjoon supplies and Jeongguk looks over at him, eyes narrowing. Namjoon only blinks at him, this serious set to his shoulders that makes Jeongguk feel even worse. He’d really worried them, hadn’t he?

“How about we yell at him later?” Hoseok interrupts, taking a seat next to Jeongguk on his bed. He kind of just wants to fall back into it and sleep but something tells him that’s not going to be an option just yet.

“Is there a possibility I don’t get yelled at?”

“Nope,” four voices say in unison. Jeongguk groans, eyes closing. When he opens his eyes, he at least finds his room empty save for Hoseok who’s got his very perplexing expression of angry concern on his face.

“What happened?” Hoseok says after taking a big breath, his voice soft. He wraps an arm over Jeongguk’s shoulders and he’s surprised to find himself still shivering.

“Nothing,” Jeongguk mutters. He feels stupid now, being so careless and melodramatic. But he’d been sad and guilty and very angry at himself. “I’m just a fucking idiot.”

“Taehyung said you left his place at like seven, Jeongguk.”

He shrugs, staring at the cup of tea in his hands. “I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, is all.”

“Jimin — ”

“Hates me,” Jeongguk cuts in, tired of hearing how Jimin would come around or how things would mend themselves. Jeongguk just needs to accept that Jimin didn’t want anything to do with him anymore and he had no one to blame but himself. “It’s okay. Sometimes things don’t get better and I can’t force Jimin to want me in his life. It just — ”

Jeongguk doesn’t realise he’s crying until the tears land on his hand and he only clutches the mug tighter, a little horrified.

“I’m sorry, Ggukie,” Hoseok murmurs, pulling him in and hugging him tight. Jeongguk lets himself cry to his heart’s content and when he finally stops, he only misses Jimin harder, remembering how he’d cuddled him to sleep the first time Jeongguk had cried, homesick.

He ends up passing out curled up into Hoseok, a hand rubbing at his back until sleep takes him.

✦✦✦

Jeongguk’s trying not to laugh at Namjoon as he gets redder and redder. Yoongi’s climbed into his lap, effectively marooning him to the couch for the rest of the night. He’d been up for nearly 48 hours finishing a draft for his thesis and Hoseok hadn’t really wasted time dragging them all to some friend’s weekend banger.

There’s a mishmash of faces crammed into the apartment, some Jeongguk’s sure he’s seen before. He’s nursing a beer, too exhausted from his own hell week to really get lost in the party. Finals were in two weeks so this was really the last time Jeongguk would be at any kind of party and on the whole, he didn’t really like parties. He preferred just hanging out at home with his friends but well, Jeongguk had turned avoiding Jimin into an Olympic sport.

The last two weeks had been dull. Jeongguk’s kept to himself, not really having the energy to interact with anyone. He’d only agreed to this party to make his friends happy, ideally hoping to slip out sometime after he finished his one and only beer.

He kind of couldn’t wait until the semester was over so he could go back home and eat his mother’s home cooked meals over the instant ramen exclusive diet he’d recently acquired.

At some point he spots Taehyung but he immediately removes himself from the room, refusing to even catch sight of Jimin. When he checks for the time he sees it’s already well past 11 and decides he’s been around long enough to appease his friend’s growing concern that he was turning into a hermit.

He’s about to leave when he catches sight of Jimin and Soohyun, the latter having corned Jimin in a hallway leading to some closed doors. Soohyun’s two friends from the gym stand as a blockade to the hallway, separating them from the crowd.

Jeongguk’s skin crawls, hackles rising and he leaves the front door ajar as he edges closer to the hallway. Jimin pushes at Soohyun’s shoulder, attempting to walk past him but Soohyun shoves Jimin back, hand flat against his chest. Jimin looks surprised, and Jeongguk’s jaw clenches as he shoves through a small group of girls to get to Jimin faster.

The music’s so loud Jeongguk can’t hear anything they’re saying but Jimin pushes at Soohyun more angrily this time, sending him stumbling back. Soohyun grabs Jimin by the arm and throws him right back against the wall, a hand coming to grip Jimin by the face.

“Move,” Jeongguk barks at Soohyun’s two lackeys, recognition lighting up their eyes. They look between themselves before blocking Jeongguk’s way to Jimin even more, their shoulders joining. Behind them, Soohyun looks over and Jimin uses the opportunity to slap Soohyun’s hand away.

“Or what?”

“I’ll fucking break your face in,” Jeongguk threatens at the same time Jimin brings a knee up and slams it into Soohyun’s crotch. He goes down in a heap and before his friends can help him back up, Jeongguk’s taking a swing at the one on the right. His fist connects with his jaw, and the other guy lets out an enraged scream, barrelling toward Jeongguk.

He slams into Jeongguk, throwing them both to the ground and Jeongguk gets punched right in the face, pain radiating sharply through his skull. It disorients him enough for the guy to land two more hits on him but he manages to bring his arms up to block the fists coming down. The crowd’s getting louder as people scream and rush out of the apartment, Jeongguk’s vision blurring a little at the edges. Jeongguk still throws the guy off of him by pushing his hips up sharply and then he’s rolling to bounce right back up on his feet.

Soohyun’s other friend yells as he comes at Jeongguk, but he ducks his punch, fist colliding into the guy’s abdomen. The guy doubles over and Jeongguk doesn’t miss a beat as he grabs him by the hair and slams his face into his knee. He stumbles to the left, collapsing as he clutches his face, groaning.

The guy Jeongguk had thrown off of him comes back, but before he can get a hand on Jeongguk, he’s being yanked back and thrown onto a table. It’s Jimin, his chest heaving as he looks over at Jeongguk.

“You fucking piece of shit,” someone snarls from Jeongguk’s right, his attention shifting. It’s Soohyun, back on his feet, and all of Jeongguk’s rage erupts, the image of this fucking asshole hurting Jimin burning behind his eyes.

He’s so furious he doesn’t even think about his own safety, leg whipping out to kick Soohyun square in the chest. It sends him flying backwards, back hitting the wall but he recovers, pushing off, fists squared. Jeongguk ducks two hits, grabbing Soohyun by the arm when his hand shoots out and punches him right against his ribs three times before Soohyun yanking out of his hold.

“I told you to stay the fuck away from him!” Jeongguk spits out, fist flying out and hitting him right against his head. He manages to grab him by the hair and throws him onto the ground, punching him again and again and again.

Someone’s screaming his name, telling him to stop, and Jeongguk can’t seem to stop, anger frothing out of him with a venom that even catches him off guard.

“Jeongguk!”

It’s Jimin’s voice, breaking him out of his daze and he slows down just enough that hands grab him and pull him off of Soohyun. Jeongguk kicks out trying to rip out of the hold on him but then Jimin’s in front of him, blocking Soohyun out of his vision.

He’s crowding into Jeongguk’s space, holding Jeongguk’s face in his hands as he says something but Jeongguk doesn’t register it. They end up outside of the apartment somehow, shouting and yelling following them as Jeongguk’s wrestled into an elevator by Yoongi and Taehyung and it’s then that he sees the blood dripping from his nose.

“Jimin,” he hears himself say, eyes frantically searching for him in the elevator. “Where’s Jimin? He was hurting — ”

“I’m right here. I’m okay, I’m safe,” Jimin says from next to him, his hand clutching Jeongguk’s, and it’s like a wave crashing into him, subduing the frantic hysteria beginning to overcome him. Jeongguk finds himself smiling even as the rest of the elevator groans at him.

“Are you some kinda fucking gangster?” Yoongi grumbles at him irritably, but he hasn’t let go of Jeongguk yet and Jeongguk lets his weight rest against him just a little more. “Did you miss having all the ahjummas give you dirty looks?”

“What the hell happened anyways?” Taehyung asks, looking frazzled. He’s looking Jimin over for any injuries, but seems to find him all in one piece. Taehyung sighs as he gives Jimin a quick hug, smoothing his hair down.

“He cornered me when I was coming from the bathroom,” Jimin mumbles, looking down at his feet. “He was mad I broke up with him.”

“After what he tried to — ” Taehyung starts, cutting himself short when he realises he’s in the elevator with everyone. Jimin only looks more upset, lips tightly pursed and Jeongguk thinks he’s trying not to cry but he can’t see his eyes. “Anyways, I hope Jeongguk broke his face.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Seokjin scolds, but he gives Jeongguk a proud smile anyways.

Jeongguk returns it as best he can but his head is pounding and he just wants to close his eyes, go to sleep, but Hoseok’s fussing over him and telling him to keep his eyes open. A gentle pat on his cheek has him focusing his attention on Hoseok, finally looking away from Jimin.

“God, you’re bleeding even more than last time,” Hoseok worries, carefully wiping at the blood dripping down Jeongguk’s face with some tissues. Jeongguk wonders where the fuck he got those from.

“Ion think i’s broken,” he slurs, wincing loudly when Hoseok’s fingers press a little too hard against his bruising nose. The last of Hoseok’s tissues end up in Jeongguk’s nose to help control the blood and Jeongguk feels silly but he’s still a little dazed.

He’s goes right back to staring at Jimin though, brows furrowing together when he sees the wet sheen to Jimin’s eyes. Before he can tell Jimin not to cry, the elevator dings as they reach the lobby.

“Okay, let’s go,” Namjoon instructs, leading them out into the cold. “I’m gonna call a taxi for Jeongguk. Do you think he needs a hospital?”

“I think it’s just a nosebleed,” Hoseok says, getting Jeongguk to lean his head forward. “A hospital might be overkill. I’ll see if Seulgi can look him over again in the morning.”

“His nose is swelling,” Namjoon points out, hovering by Jeongguk. “He could have a concussion for all we know.” He’s about to tell them all that he’s fine when Jimin cuts through all the arguing.

“My place is closest,” Jimin says, tugging on Jeongguk’s hand just a little. He straightens up, startled that Jimin’s still holding onto his hand, having not realised it in all the rush to get outside. Everyone seems to stare at Jimin at once, surprised but Jimin only cuts through the circle they’ve formed around Jeongguk, pulling him out. “I know first aid so I’ll —I’ll take care of him, okay?”

“Are you — ”

Taehyung cuts Hoseok off with a quick wave of his hand, offering them smile, “Text us when you get home.”

“I can still call a taxi,” Namjoon offers but Jimin’s shaking his head and setting off in the direction of his apartment. Jeongguk thinks he should tell Jimin no, remind him that he hates Jeongguk now. Why would he want to take care of him? But no words come out and Jimin won’t let go of his hand. Jeongguk doesn’t want him to. He just allows himself to be pulled toward Jimin’s apartment and it takes them fifteen minutes to walk all the way over, Jeongguk always one step behind. Jimin keeps brushing a hand against his cheeks and Jeongguk wants to stop, wants to pull Jimin into a hug and tell him to stop crying but he doesn’t.

When they get in the elevator to Jimin’s apartment, Jimin sniffles, staring down at the floor and Jeongguk lets his head rest against the back of the elevator, eyes closing. It’s quiet, the loud thrumming in his head a little more manageable.

He startles when the elevator dings to a stop at Jimin’s floor, eyes opening.

“Come on, Ggukie,” Jimin says softly, looking up at him. His mouth goes dry at the endearment. It’s been months since he’s heard it, head nodding of its own accord as he follows Jimin obediently down the hall to his apartment.

Jimin looks so small as he opens his front door, shoulder hunched in, and Jeongguk has to stop himself from reaching out and hugging him, a hand reaching for him and then shrinking back. His head’s a mess, anxiety tightening around his chest and Jeongguk has to remind himself to breathe.

“Did he hurt you?” Jeongguk asks, standing awkwardly in the little front foyer of Jimin’s apartment. He’s flicked the lights on and goes to turn on the floor heating. Jeongguk’s toes wiggle in his shoes and he tells himself to take them off.

His nosebleed has stopped but he’s still semi-covered in blood, the front of his t-shirt a mess. Jimin pauses in what he’s doing, looking back at Jeongguk. “I’m okay, I promise.”

Jeongguk just nods his head, unsure what else to say or do. He’s not even sure why he let Jimin drag him back to his apartment, feeling out of place now but he’d been rendered incapable of any thought the second Jimin had started pulling him along. A part of him is still in disbelief that Jimin’s even looking at him, let alone talking to him.

“Go sit,” Jimin instructs and Jeongguk listens, gingerly walking over to Jimin’s bed. His apartment’s pretty small but it’s cozy if a little messy. Jimin’s desk is covered with textbooks and papers all in some kind of organized chaos. He has some clothes littered on the floor and strewn across his bed but it only makes the apartment feel lived in. There’s a corner of the bed that’s just dedicated to stuffed animals.

It’s been awhile since Jeongguk’s seen Jimin’s place, the wall of polaroids next to the bed having grown even larger. Jeongguk can see a few pictures of him up there and he’s surprised Jimin hasn’t ripped them off and shredded them.

“Stop tilting your head up,” Jimin scolds, suddenly standing right in front of him. Jeongguk winces as his head whips to look in Jimin’s direction and Jimin purses his lips, displeased. “Here,” he adds, placing a towel against Jeongguk’s neck. It’s cold, making him shiver, but he holds it down, realizing it’s an ice pack.

“I’m gonna check to see if the bleedings stopped, okay?” Jimin tells him and Jeongguk just nods. He kneels down in front of Jeongguk, a towel full of things set down next to him. Jimin busies himself removing the tissues Hoseok’s shoved up Jeongguk’s nose, carefully cleaning the blood around Jeongguk’s nose with a wet cloth.

To his surprise, it doesn’t hurt all that much. His headache’s worse and when Jimin tilts his head down, there isn’t a fresh wave of blood gushing out.

“I think it’s over, hyung,” Jeongguk says, gingerly touching his nose. There’s no sharp pain when he squeezes at the bridge, not like the time he did get his nose broken in a fight. He’s faired a lot better in this fight than the last one anyways, his headache and split lip really the worst of it.

“Does it hurt?” Jimin mumbles, pretty mouth downturned into a frown. Jeongguk shakes his head, regretting it immediately as he winces.

“Just have a headache,” Jeongguk answers, eyes squeezing shut before he gives Jimin a small smile. Jimin seems satisfied with his clean up job, dropping the wet cloth onto the towel he has spread on the floor before he grabs a bottle of antiseptic. Jeongguk’s not looking forward to this part but he bears the sting of it as Jimin dabs at the cut on his lip with a cotton ball.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Jimin grumbles, taking the ice off of Jeongguk’s neck and pressing it against his cheek. Jeongguk doesn’t remember getting hit there but he hasn’t really had a good look at himself so he’s not really sure what injuries he’s supporting.

“I did better than last time,” Jeongguk defends, swallowing when his hand grazes Jimin’s as he holds the ice to his cheek. “No black eye is already better.”

“That’s — ” Jimin starts, eyes watering as he glares at Jeongguk. “You shouldn’t have — ”

He takes a big breath, but it doesn’t stop him from crying and Jeongguk’s eyes widen, heart beating faster in his chest, distraught. “Hyung — ”

Jeongguk never finishes the thought, caught completely off guard when Jimin throws his arms around Jeongguk, squeezing him tight as his head buries into the crook of Jeongguk’s neck.

It takes him a second to realise what’s happening before he’s pulling Jimin in, arms wrapping around his torso, their bodies flush together as Jimin clings to him, sobbing harder. The ice pack falls onto the bed, unravelling out of the small towel. Jeongguk just rubs Jimin’s back and holds him close, mumbling soft nothings to him. After a while, Jimin’s cries die down and Jeongguk’s just rocking him back and forth gently, unwilling to let go.

For the first time in months, he feels like he can really breath, a calm settling over him. Jimin smells like orange blossoms and Jeongguk’s missed breathing him in, missed holding him, missed the warmth of his skin.

“I’m sorry.” Jimin’s voice is muffled into Jeongguk’s neck, the word tickling against his skin. “I’m — I’m so sorry. I was so unfair and stupid — ”

“Jimin,” Jeongguk cuts him off, very reluctantly pulling away from him. He has to lean back to really get a look at Jimin’s face, heart aching at the sight of his puffy eyes and flushed cheeks. He cups Jimin’s face in his hands, wiping his tears away with his thumbs. “If anyone was stupid, it was me. You had every right to be mad at me.”

“You got hurt because of me,” Jimin protests weakly, his eyes finally lifting to look at Jeongguk. It takes every ounce of Jeongguk’s self control to not just surge forward and kiss him. “Twice.”

“And I’d do it again,” Jeongguk affirms vehemently, pulling Jimin into another hug. “I fucked up and I don’t even know — I don’t know how to explain how sorry I am, how much I’ve missed you. How much I still miss you, hyung.”

Jimin’s hands are fisted into the back of Jeongguk’s jacket, sniffles subsiding. “I miss you, too.”

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat at the admission.

“I thought you hated me,” Jimin continues, mumbling. He lifts his head and Jeongguk shifts back to look at him again, hands immediately moving to wipe away any stray tears. “Soohyun...he told me you started it. S-said you told him to break up with me — Or something.”

“I told him to stay away from you,” Jeongguk says, pulling Jimin up so that he sits down next to him on the bed. Jeongguk twists around to look at Jimin, swallowing. “I guess I did start it but. But he was, uh,” Jeongguk tries, uncomfortable with recounting any of the shit Soohyun had said. “He was just saying all this shit about you.”

Jimin looks up from his hands, eyes wide. “What?”

Jeongguk can’t look Jimin in the eye, heat rising to his cheeks. Just thinking about what Soohyun said pisses him off. “He said some stuff about your, um, ass. And he was — he was talking about how you were e-easy.” Jeongguk looks at Jimin, sees the hurt on his face. “He’s a piece of shit, hyung. I was so angry I just lost it.”

“So you got into a fight to defend me and I came and yelled at you to leave me alone?”

“Yeah but you didn’t know what happened,” Jeongguk says, picking up the discarded ice pack. He presses it against his cheek, face starting to radiate pain.

“I didn’t even let you — ”

“It’s okay, Jimin hyung,” Jeongguk interrupts, gathering up his courage to reach out for Jimin’s hand. Jimin’s biting on his lip, eyes watery again and Jeongguk hates seeing him like this. Jeongguk stares at Jimin’s hand in his, mesmerized by how cute it is. He’s known for weeks what he’s wanted to say, finally getting it off his chest. “I shouldn’t have — I shouldn’t have said you were annoying because you aren’t. I was just annoyed and took it out on you. And then I got into a fight with your boyfriend...Doesn’t exactly make me look good.”

He looks up at Jimin, giving him a smile. “I’m sorry,” Jeongguk breathes out. “I’m so sorry, hyung. I was such a fucking dick but I could — I could never hate you. I — ” like you. He doesn’t say that bit, terrified that he’d freak Jimin out.

“I don’t — I should be the one apologizing.” Jimin’s voice wavers, the redness spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears and nose.

“You were just protecting yourself,” Jeongguk reasons, rubbing his thumb over the skin of Jimin’s hand. He doesn’t know how to make Jimin feel better, to make him understand that Jeongguk’s not mad.

“Fucking great job I did,” Jimin mutters darkly.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Blame yourself for everything.” Jimin looks up at him and Jeongguk reaches out and wipes the tear slipping down his cheek. “We were both...”

“Idiots,” Jimin concludes, sucking in a big breath. He lets out a puff of laughter and the tightly woven anxiety that’s been suffocating Jeongguk relaxes, vice grip loosening. Jeongguk breathes easier, shoulders sagging. “Lemme get you something for your headache.”

Jimin stands up, leaving the bed but Jeongguk can’t let go of his hand. He looks up at him, a thought still haunting him. “You don’t,” he licks his lips, “you don’t hate me, right, hyung?”

The smile on Jimin’s lips falters, and then he’s shaking his head, arms wrapping around Jeongguk’s head and holding him against his abdomen. Jeongguk sighs into the touch, head pushed lightly against Jimin’s soft belly, arms wrapping around Jimin’s waist. “I could never hate you, Ggukie.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” Jimin whispers back. It settles against Jeongguk’s heart like a warm caress and he lets himself enjoy the feeling of Jimin against him. He attempts to look up, noticing the red spots on Jimin’s bright yellow t-shirt.

“I got blood on you,” Jeongguk mumbles into Jimin’s soft belly, mouth twisting into a frown.

“It’s okay,” Jimin murmurs, hand carding through Jeongguk’s hair as he looks down at him. Jeongguk’s eyes flicker close, relishing the sensation. Eventually, he has to let Jimin go and he does. He feels so much better, lighter.

Jimin disappears into the kitchen tucked into a little corner. When he gets back, he has a glass of water in one hand and two ibuprofens in the other that Jeongguk obediently takes. He smiles as Jimin finishes cleaning up his cuts, dabbing his bruised knuckles with antiseptic, too.

“No more fighting, okay?”

“I don’t know if I can promise you that, hyung,” Jeongguk grins, whining when Jimin dabs the antiseptic a little too hard on one of his knuckles, the skin having peeled. “Okay, okay, I’ll be more careful.”

“That’s what I thought,” Jimin says, pleased, as he grabs antibiotic cream and puts it on any of Jeongguk’s open cuts. There’s only a few. Mostly he’s just managed to bruise himself up. Jimin’s finger reaches up to apply some on his lip, too but Jeongguk shakes his head.

“It tastes like shit,” he tells Jimin who rolls his eyes.

“It’s not for eating, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk only scrunches up his nose, refusing to let Jimin apply any. “It’ll be fine.”

Jimin sighs but gives in, finishing up by adding bandages over Jeongguk’s knuckles. “Did they hit you anywhere else?”

“My back’s kinda sore but seriously, last time was way worse.”

“If I wasn’t so busy with my head up my own — ”

“Hyung.”

“Fine,” Jimin sighs, grabbing everything off of the floor and taking it into his bathroom. With Jeongguk all bandaged up and most of their argument cleared up, Jeongguk feels restless sitting on Jimin’s bed, the weight of his feelings for Jimin beginning to crush his chest.

Jimin walks out of the bathroom, his steps faltering a little and Jeongguk swallows, wanting nothing more than to curl up around Jimin and go to bed. “I should, um, head home.”

“What?”

“I’m good, hyung,” Jeongguk says, standing up. “You patched me up.”

“You can’t go home now, it’s so late.”

“I’ll call a taxi. I don’t wanna keep you up.”

“You can stay the night, Jeongguk,” Jimin offers, looking down at his feet. He clears his throat before looking back up. “Um, if you want.”

Jeongguk’s mouth goes dry. He hasn’t crashed at Jimin’s place in more than half a year and the last time Taehyung had been here. They didn’t have this weird tension between them.

“Are you sure?” he asks, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“Yeah,” Jimin smiles, nodding. He closes the distance between them, nose scrunching up at Jeongguk’s ruined t-shirt. “I’ll get you something else to wear.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

Jimin just bobs his head as he goes to his closet, rummaging through it for a t-shirt. “Hope they’re not too small,” he says as he hands Jeongguk a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. He smiles in gratitude and heads over to the bathroom to change.

When Jeongguk sees himself in the mirror, he finally takes himself in. He really has faired a lot better this time save the red bruise on his cheek and the split lip. As he changes clothes, he checks to see if there are any bruises on him but he looks more or less okay. His back hurts but he figures that’ll subside in a while.

“Everything fit, hyung,” Jeongguk says as he exits the bathroom, despite Jimin’s sweatpants being a little short on him. He finds Jimin lying on his bed already changed, legs dangling off the side, and staring at the ceiling. They exchange smiles and Jeongguk goes toward the closet he knows Jimin keeps an extra blanket in. “I’ll take the floor. Where’s the extra pillow again hyung?”

“Why would you sleep on the floor?”

Jeongguk pauses, glancing back at Jimin, who’s sat up now. He furrows his brows together. “Uh, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor. It’s your bed.”

“We can share the bed, Jeonggukie,” Jimin says slowly, blinking at Jeongguk. “Unless — ”

“No!” Jeongguk hurries to assure, already seeing the doubt flicker over Jimin’s face. He abandons the blanket and walks over to Jimin, smiling. “I guess I thought it’d be weird.”

“To share the bed? We’ve shared before.” Jimin looks up at him, reaching out and grabbing Jeongguk’s hand. He lets Jimin pull him onto the bed, heart feeling lighter. For some reason he’d been expecting everything to be awkward and weird and not this easy.

“Yeah but we’ve never fought before,” he mumbles, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. His gut twists miserably.

“Do you forgive me?” Jimin asks, pulling Jeongguk’s eyes to his.

He nods readily. “Of course hyung — ”

“And I forgive you, too, so we’re okay, okay?” Jimin’s tone doesn’t leave any room for argument. He squeezes Jeongguk’s hand reassuringly and Jeongguk can’t help but smile, just relieved that everything was going to be okay.

“Okay.”

“Now let’s go to sleep. I’m tired,” Jimin smiles, his eyes disappearing into little crescents. Jeongguk’s heart does a little backflip at the sight, eyes widening. He has to keep himself from blurting out how pretty he thinks Jimin looks, flushing at the thought. He feels warm all over, eyes lingering over Jimin’s exposed collarbones. Everything about Jimin looks so soft and Jeongguk just wants to hold him.

“I really missed you hyung,” Jeongguk says, fixated on Jimin as he shuffles up on the bed to slip under the covers. Jimin stills, flushed pink and flops down onto his pillow.

“I missed you, too,” he murmurs back, eyes soft and sweet as he looks at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk’s not sure how long he’s going to be able to keep himself from just reaching over and kissing Jimin but he gives Jimin a jerky nod, flustered, and gets up to turn the lights off.

When he gets back to the bed, Jimin’s scooted closer to the wall and left him more than enough space to slip in beside him. Jeongguk lies down carefully, facing Jimin and they stare at each other in the dark, eyes adjusting to the lack of light.

“Tae said you saw me and Soohyun that day, outside the cafe,” Jimin says quietly, his hands curled up under his cheek. It makes him look even cuter, Jeongguk’s chest tightening at the sight. “That’s why he called.”

“Yeah, I didn’t — You didn’t look comfortable,” Jeongguk mumbles out, unsure if he should mention how much he just hated seeing Soohyun with Jimin.

“He was trying to get me to go to this friend’s place but — ” Jimin pauses, sucking in a breath. His eyes shift away from Jeongguk’s, teeth catching his lower lip. Jeongguk’s jaw clenches, not liking the implication. “I didn’t want to go. I didn’t like any of his friends. They were creeps.”

“You did the right thing standing up for yourself,” Jeongguk comforts, inching closer. He wraps an arm around Jimin to give him a soft hug and finds himself shifting to accommodate Jimin burrowing into him. His heart sings and he’s almost terrified that Jimin can tell, that he somehow knows how Jeongguk really feels. Jimin’s arm drapes over Jeongguk’s abdomen, his head pillowing on Jeongguk’s chest.

“I broke up with him that day,” Jimin says quietly, the words loud in the silence of the room, Jeongguk’s arms tightening around him. “Texted him and then blocked him everywhere.” Jeongguk rubs his hand soothingly up and down Jimin’s back, wishing he’d gotten a few more punches on that asshole as anger burns through him.

“Thanks for looking out for me,” Jimin adds on, and he sounds steadier, relieved. “If Taehyung hadn’t called, I’d probably have had a panic attack. I was so freaked out. He’d never been that pushy before.”

“He didn’t — ”

“No! Oh my god, no,” Jimin’s quick to reassure. “He was just...He wanted things done his way and he wanted me to listen to him obediently.”

“What a fuckass,” Jeongguk bites out through gritted teeth.

Jimin laughs, relieved, the sound surprising Jeongguk. He looks down, finds Jimin shaking against him. “That’s one way to describe him.”

“You didn’t deserve to be treated like that,” Jeongguk consoles, holding Jimin tighter. His hand ends up at the base of Jimin’s neck, massaging it gently and Jimin hums, vibrations echoing through Jeongguk. “I’m sorry, hyung.”

“‘S not your fault,” Jimin murmurs, his breath ghosting over Jeongguk’s skin as he lifts his head off Jeongguk’s chest to glance up at him. “But thank you.”

“If he ever bothers you again, I’ll kill him.”

Jimin frowns, pretty lips downturned as his brows furrow together. “You said no more fights.”

“I didn’t say no more murder.”

Jimin bursts out laughing again, eyes disappearing into crescents and it’s like the rest of the world just melts away. Jeongguk doesn’t know what to do with the giddy feeling bubbling in his chest, so pleased to have made Jimin laugh. It feels like he’s swallowed the sun. Jimin smiles at him, “I missed you.”

“Missed you more,” Jeongguk insists, only a little sad when Jimin rests his head back on his chest again. Maybe Jeongguk couldn’t get enough of just staring at Jimin’s pretty face.

“You know,” Jimin says, his tone lighter this time. “After I met you and Namjoon-hyung and everyone else, I felt a lot...better about life. It used to just be me and Tae, and then I met Namjoon-hyung and he introduced us to all his friends and now, it feels like having a family even so far away from home.”

“I’m glad meeting us helped, Jimin-hyung,” Jeongguk smiles, rolling onto his side. Jimin shifts so that his head ends up resting on Jeongguk’s bicep and they’re so close, Jeongguk can see the fan of Jimin’s eyelashes even in the dark. “And I’m glad — I’m glad you’re not dating that asshole anymore.”

“Me too,” Jimin smiles, soft and sweet and Jeongguk’s heart shakes in his chest.

He lets his hand drag up from where it’s settled on Jimin’s hip, his shirt riding up in the process. When he pets Jimin’s side, he touches bare skin, heart caught in his throat as he watches Jimin’s quiet reaction — his eyes widen, breath hitching in his chest. Jeongguk wonders if he's blushing.

Jeongguk leaves his hand there, thumb rubbing soft circles into his skin.

They fall quiet after that, Jimin’s eyes slipping shut. For a while, Jeongguk just traces the outline of Jimin’s features — the line of his eyebrows and the slope of his cute nose, the perfectly arched bow of his lips, the pudginess of his cheeks contrasted by the sharp line of his jaw. Jimin’s the most beautiful person Jeongguk’s ever seen and he doesn’t understand how it took him so long.

Past Jeongguk was an idiot.

He lets his eyes slip shut, resolving that present Jeongguk would do his best to make Jimin happy, to make up for his carelessness. Jimin deserved better.

“He — Soohyun, he wasn’t wrong,” Jimin says after clearing his throat. Jeongguk’s hand stills, eyes flickering back open. “I used to sleep around a lot. Didn’t really...didn’t really care who it was with.”

“Why’d you stop?” Jeongguk says quietly, careful to keep his voice neutral.

Jimin shrugs, fingers tightening into the fabric of the shirt Jeongguk’s wearing. “‘Cause I was doing it for the wrong reasons. Temporary validation. It always made me feel wanted, good, when guys were, you know, and then I’d wake up the next day and they’d want nothing to do with me. Felt like shit.”

“I’d never treat you like,” Jeongguk says, and then his heart stops, realising what he’s just said. For a split second, the world stops and fear grips Jeongguk so fiercely his lungs burn. “I mean — ”

“It’s okay,” Jimin whispers, tone pitched higher. He doesn’t look at Jeongguk. “I know it’s not like that.”

“Not like what?” Jeongguk says, chest tightening. He thinks his hands are shaking.

“That you didn’t mean it like that,” Jimin smiles but this time it’s sad and doesn’t reach his eyes. “I know you don’t think of me as more than a friend.”

Jeongguk’s heart drops completely, and this frantic need to prove Jimin wrong bursts inside of him. He pulls Jimin in closer, mouth set in a hard line. “And what if I did?”

Jimin’s staring at him wide eyed, mouth agape, and Jeongguk takes a little satisfaction in rendering him speechless. His heart’s beating a mile a minute, concentration hyperfocusing on Jimin, Jimin, Jimin.

“I don’t — ” Jimin starts, tongue-tied.

“What if I like you as more than a friend, Jimin?”

Jeongguk’s voice shakes as he says it, the words echoing through his head and he wishes he could see Jimin but all he has is the glow of the streetlights outside of Jimin’s room and whatever moonlight trickles in through the window.

He doesn’t expect Jimin to push up in bed, startled by the body hovering over him but then the lamp Jimin keeps next to his bed flickers on, his arm stretched toward it. For a fluttering moment, Jeongguk adjusts to the burst of light, adjusts to the way his belly has twisted itself into knots waiting for Jimin to respond, adjusts to the way his whole life seems to teeter on this one answer.

Jimin looks down at him, hair a mess, cheeks tinged pink and Jeongguk swallows, holds Jimin’s look of surprise and prays to the universe that Jimin understands what it is he's trying to convey.

Jimin’s voice wavers. “Are you — are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Jeongguk has to suck in a shuddering breath, head nodding. “I’m saying I like you, hyung.”

Somewhere along the line, Jeongguk’s forgotten the very real possibility that Jimin may not see him as more than a friend and it sinks into him like an anchor cutting its way to the bottom of the ocean. As it thuds to the ocean floor, Jeongguk’s heart caves, suddenly wishing he’d never opened his big mouth.

Jimin still doesn’t say anything so Jeongguk backtracks, panicked and heartbroken. “N-not that you have to — have to like me back or something, Jimin-hyung.” He pushes himself up onto his elbows, hating how much more vulnerable he feels with Jimin looming over him. “I — I know I fucked up any chance — I mean, not that I had a chance b-but like — Fuck. I’m just — I’ll go. I’ll just — ”

One moment Jeongguk’s blabbering uselessly and the next, Jimin’s surging forward and crushing their mouths together, teeth clacking. His lip pulses from the force of it but he doesn’t care, the momentary shock dissolving in his belly. Elation rips it's way through Jeongguk’s panic and he lets himself twist a hand into the back of Jimin’s hair, holding him in place as he pours his all into the kiss.

Kissing Jimin feels like a dream but better because this is tangible and Jimin is here, with Jeongguk, wanting him back. His lips are a little chapped, but Jimin’s mouth is soft and supple, Jeongguk’s tongue licking it’s way past the plushness of his lips. He lets out a little surprised yelp as Jimin straddles him, his head falling back but even with Jimin on top of him, he yields to Jeongguk’s aggressiveness, mouth falling open as Jeongguk devours his little breathy moans.

It’s not until Jeongguk winces, Jimin’s teeth snagging his split lip that Jimin pulls back, a dazed expression on his face. They're both too stunned to speak but with each passing second, Jimin goes redder and redder, and then he’s burying his head into Jeongguk’s neck, shy.

Jeongguk laughs, breathless and giddy beyond belief, squeezing Jimin tight in his arms. Jimin squeaks but Jeongguk’s grip doesn’t leave much room for Jimin to squirm away, the rush of happiness in Jeongguk’s chest blooming bigger and bigger.

“Jimin?”

“What?” Jimin mumbles back, his breath hot against Jeongguk’s neck.

“I like you.”

Jimin whines, but then he’s whispering the words back and the dust finally settles. Jeongguk’s come out alive. “I like you, too.”

“I like you more.”

He gets a smack to the side for that, and Jimin mutters under his breath, “I liked you from the start.”

Jeongguk’s heart twists at the confession. “Really? That long?”

“That long,” Jimin confirms, sighing as Jeongguk’s hand cards through his hair.

“I’m sorry I made you wait so long,” he whispers gently. Jimin rolls off of him, but he snuggles into Jeongguk’s side and this time when they find themselves with barely an inch of space left between them, Jeongguk just closes the gap and kisses Jimin. It’s chaste, sweet, doesn’t have the same world-ending necessity to it.

“You should be,” Jimin says, pouting. Jeongguk kisses him again and then he kisses the tip of his nose too. He lets himself stroke the slope of Jimin’s cheekbone, thumb eventually stroking over Jimin’s pretty mouth.

He kisses Jimin again and then again and again and again. Jimin sighs into every single one and Jeongguk lets every sound and every touch sink into him all the way down to his bones. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget them, forget this moment.

They fall asleep exchanging kisses, Jeongguk nosing along Jimin’s neck and leaving sweet, chaste kisses behind. He can taste Jimin’s pulse through his skin, every heartbeat a soothing reminder of what he has now.

✦✦✦

Jeongguk struggles a little getting back into the apartment, his hands full of coffee and food. He’d snuck out earlier, knowing Jimin’s passcode to get back in from enough afternoons spent studying together with Jimin and Taehyung.

What he’s not expecting when he slips back in is the sight of Jimin curled up into a tiny little ball in bed, pretty mouth downturned. He looks shocked to see Jeongguk, like he hadn’t been expecting Jeongguk to come back and maybe he hadn’t.

Jeongguk really should have left a note.

“Hey hyung,” Jeongguk smiles, setting the coffee aside on Jimin’s small kitchen counter. He’d grabbed pastries from that cafe Jimin liked, wanting to start the day off by giving Jimin a surprise. “I didn’t think you’d be awake already.”

“I thought — ” Jimin stops himself, takes in a big breath and just pats the bed next to him. “Come here.”

Jeongguk throws off his jacket, leaving it in a heap on the floor as he makes his way to Jimin. He slides into the bed, immediately kissing Jimin and whatever doubt is lingering in Jimin’s eyes melts away, a sound of surprise leaving him.

Jeongguk kisses him slowly, nose digging into Jimin’s soft cheek as their tongues slide against each other. Jimin’s hands fist into Jeongguk’s t-shirt, pulling Jeongguk in as close as he can get and Jeongguk uses the opportunity to slide a hand all the way down to Jimin’s ass. He gives it a firm squeeze, pleased with the way Jimin moans, mouth falling open for Jeongguk to lick into leisurely.

They pull away very reluctantly, Jimin’s pupils blown wide as he catches his breath. Jeongguk steals two more kisses from him before leveraging himself up on his elbow.

“Did you miss me that much?” Jeongguk grins, brushing his nose against Jimin’s playfully.

“You’re supposed to cuddle me awake,” Jimin pouts, shoving weakly at Jeongguk’s shoulder.

“Are those the rules?” Jeongguk hums, cupping Jimin’s face in his hand. His heart hammers in his chest but he loves the pretty flush decorating Jimin’s cheeks, loves that it’s there because of him.

“Yes!”

“I’m very sorry,” Jeongguk says solemnly. “Next time, I will definitely wake you up with cuddles.”

“Good,” Jimin sniffs, the tips of his ears burning pink, too. “Where did you go anyways?”

It’s Jeongguk’s turn to get embarrassed as he lets himself lie down next to Jimin. “Um, I thought — I dunno, thought we could have breakfast in bed. Today.” He shrugs it off, heat blooming in his cheeks, but to his delight, finds Jimin only gives him a very shy, very pleased smile.

“You wanted to have breakfast in bed?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Thought we could, um, maybe go on a date. L-later.”

“You wanna take me on dates?” Jimin grins, inching closer to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk only nods, heart hammering in his chest.

“What’re we gonna do on our date?” Jimin asks, clearly enjoying himself. Jeongguk wonders how someone else’s smile can make him feel so happy.

“Anything you want,” Jeongguk answers, petting Jimin’s side. He gets a kiss for his trouble, Jimin’s smile more beautiful than anything he’s ever seen in his life.

“What if I just wanna lie in bed all day?” Jimin hums, a hand coming to rest against Jeongguk’s chest. His fingers trace over Jeongguk’s clavicle and it’s distracting but Jeongguk forces himself to focus.

“Like I said, anything you want.”

“I want you,” Jimin murmurs, kissing Jeongguk again.

“You have me,” Jeongguk assures between kisses, the coffee and pastries he’d brought forgotten. In his defense, kissing Jimin is definitely his top priority, his own hunger be damned. It’s easy just tasting Jimin, learning how he likes to be touched, enjoying the warmth of his skin. He can’t get enough of how Jimin sounds when Jeongguk gropes his ass, his little whines piling up hot in Jeongguk’s belly.

Their kisses get shorter and shorter, Jeongguk’s tongue tracing over the cupid’s bow of Jimin’s mouth, suckling on his lip just to hear him gasp. Eventually, they just lie in bed staring at each other and it feels like enough, Jeongguk’s hand settled in the curve of Jimin’s waist, squeezing him tight.

“I’m sorry,” Jimin mumbles, his mouth downturned as he stares at the blackening bruise on Jeongguk’s cheek. He reaches for it tentatively, thumb tracing over the injury delicately. Jeongguk stares at him unabashedly, eagerly drinking in Jimin’s soft features. He thinks he could just lie here and stare at Jimin forever.

“For what?” he finally asks, drawing Jimin’s eyes to his own. They stare at each other for a moment before Jimin breaks eye contact, cheeks flushing a pretty pink.

“I shouldn’t have been so clingy,” he admits, about to pull his hand back. Jeongguk grabs it, fingers wrapping around his wrist. He pulls Jimin’s palm to his lips and presses a kiss there, relishing the little gasp of surprise that escapes him.

Jimin looks like he still has more to say, so Jeongguk waits for him patiently, lacing their fingers together. He tucks Jimin’s hand to his chest and holds it there, deciding that he was never going to let it go.

“I should have — I should have given you your space when you asked and I didn’t. That’s not fair, either. If I had just listened to Hobi-hyung, I never would have dated that asshole.”

“I guess I’ll forgive you for dating him,” Jeongguk grins, hoping to pull Jimin out of his guilt. He had nothing to be sorry for.

Jimin’s eyes find his again, a little incredulous, and then he’s laughing, his smile spreading wide over his face. “Oh, is that right?”

“Yeah but on one condition,” Jeongguk says, leaning in a little bit closer.

“And what’s that?”

“I want a kiss.”

Jimin’s eyes widen, his smile disappearing as he flushes bright red. “You’re so gross!”

Jeongguk only laughs, tugging Jimin so that he’s half on top of him. “And yet you liked me this whole time. Looks like you’re stuck now.”

Jimin scrunches up his nose, pretending to be annoyed but it melts away as soon as he leans forward and gives Jeongguk his kiss. He’s careful of Jeongguk's split lip. “Am I forgiven now?”

“Hmm, I think I might need a few more kisses to be sure.”

“Jeongguk!” Jimin whines, hiding his face in Jeongguk’s neck again. It only makes Jeongguk laugh more, contentment settling into him bone deep. “All my kisses are yours now anyways.”

“They better be,” Jeongguk warns teasingly, hands smoothing down Jimin’s sides to settle on his hips. “I don’t share.”

“Good,” Jimin says in agreement. “‘Cause I don’t either.”

Jeongguk brushes Jimin’s hair out of his eyes, smiling. “Guess it’s a good thing we ended up together then, huh?”

Jimin’s smile is radiant as he leans up to give Jeongguk another kiss. “Yeah, it is.”

epilogue

“I’d obviously be Venom,” Jeongguk retorts, chin hooking over Jimin’s shoulder as he pulls him in closer.

Jimin twists in his lap, affronted. “Why the hell would you be Venom?”

“Because you couldn’t top to save your life,” Jeongguk answers without missing a beat, laughter bursting out of him when Jimin gasps dramatically, smacking Jeongguk repeatedly.

“Excuse me?!” Jimin exclaims, incredulous. “Take that fucking back!”

“Can you two get a room?” Yoongi says, interrupting them. Jeongguk grins at him from over Jimin’s shoulder, his cheeks flushing red as he realises Yoongi’s walked into the living room. “Some of us are not trying to be part of whatever foreplay ritual this is.”

“Don’t mind him, hyung,” Jeongguk says, squeezing Jimin’s slim waist tight. He loves it when Jimin sits in his lap, loves how Jimin is so cute and tiny and fits against him just right. “He’s just mad he hasn’t gotten any in, like, a week.”

“Jeongguk!” Jimin admonishes but he’s giggling, all his weight shifting to rest against Jeongguk. “Be nice.”

“Wait until you’re sexiled, then you’ll know, you brat.”

“Sexiled?” Jimin asks, big eyes looking down at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk leans in closer to Jimin’s ear, watching Yoongi rummage through their fridge for something to eat. Then in a low whisper he tells Jimin, “Yoongi hyung bailed on their date night so Namjoon hyung’s punishing him.”

“I can hear you,” Yoongi grumbles from the kitchen, having settled on drinking the rest of his iced coffee. He glares at Jeongguk as he shuffles back to his room, his hair a disarray. “When your honeymoon phase ends, I’ll see who’s laughing.”

“Don’t be so bitter, hyung,” Jeongguk says sagely. “I’m sure Namjoon hyung will let you suck his dick soon enough.”

Yoongi chucks the first thing within hand’s reach at Jeongguk — in this case his own slipper — and Jeongguk laughs as Jimin yelps, ducking away. The slipper doesn’t hit its mark and Yoongi’s bedroom door closes with a slam.

“He’s gonna poison you in your sleep,” Jimin tells him as he wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s neck. Jeongguk pecks him on the lips, grinning as he enjoys just the sight of Jimin so close. He rubs a hand up and down Jimin’s back, marvelling at how Jimin melts under the touch.

“Can Venom be poisoned?”

“You’re insufferable,” Jimin sighs but he’s smiling, endeared, and leans in for another kiss. “So how many rounds do you think Venom can last?”

“There’s only one way to find out.”