Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Donghyuck turned 16, his body betrayed him. His mind was lulled, conceding to a pain that burned his insides like boiling water. There was but physical agony, Lee Donghyuck erased, no longer the mischievous and witty force of nature he prided himself to be. The boy, what was left of him, was a nameless thing through which pain seared, damaged, defined by its biology.

When Donghyuck turned 16, he presented as an omega.

☁ ☁ ☁

The cafeteria is loud and too packed, as always. Donghyuck is messing with his phone’s settings, trying for the umptieth time to connect to the wifi.

“What’s the point of paying tuition if this goddamn school can’t even provide an internet connexion?”

“Education?” Renjun offers, an arm mindlessly hushing Jaemin away as the latter tries to latch onto him.

“It hate this place,” Hyuck says.

“We know you do,” Jeno replies distractedly.

“At least you have us,” Jaemin tells Donghyuck, and he grins when Jeno reaches out to stop him from bothering Renjun, changing target and lacing his fingers with Jeno’s.

“Yeah...” Hyuck lets out. “My luck must be out of this world.”

There's a pause.

“What's wrong?” Renjun asks.

Donghyuck averts his eyes. “Nothing.”

Approximately four seconds pass.

“Okay, fine!” the omega says. “I’m trying a new suppressant and there are no side effects at all, and that's suspicious, and I’m not sure it’s doing anything and I'm stressed.”

The others turn the words over in their head. 

“You could ask an alpha,” Jaemin says.

Donghyuck scoffs. “Yeah, of course. I’ll come up and go ‘Hey, are my pheromones arousing you right now? I’m trying a new suppressant. No? ‘Kay, thanks!’”

“I don’t see the problem,” Jaemin fires back with a wink.

“You’re shameless, Na Jaemin,” Hyuck says, nose scrunched up.

“Can’t you go to the doctor?” Jeno interjects.

“There aren’t a lot of competent doctors specialized in O stuff,” Donghyuck says. “It takes at least a couple weeks to get an appointment.”

“Ah,” Jeno utters awkwardly.

“Yeah, well...” Donghyuck says. “Betas don’t have to worry about all that.”

There’s a short silence before Renjun clears his throat.

“You really don’t want to go to an alpha?” he asks. “It seems like the most effective way.”

“There are like, ten of them in this entire school,” Hyuck points out. “And I don’t want any of them near me.”

“Jaehyun-hyung looks like a nice guy,” Jaemin suggests.

“He’s a football player,” Donghyuck spits.

His friends look puzzled.

“So?” Jaemin lets out.

“The alpha jock and the little omega...” Donghyuck says, almost wincing. “How fucking cliché is that?”

“We’re not saying you should marry him,” Jaemin replies.

“It doesn’t work like that,” Hyuck says sharply “It’s not… I’m an O, he’s an A. He’s gonna read into it. Anyone would.”

Jaemin makes as if to speak, but Jeno beats him to it. “Let’s drop it, then.”

Donghyuck sighs heavily. “I’m descending into Hell in a few days. I guess I’ll see then.”

A pause.

“What about the new guy?” Jeno asks.

Hyuck blinks. “Who?”

“I think his name is Mark Lee?” Jeno says. “He transferred this morning.”

Right!” Jaemin exclaims. “I heard about him. He’s an alpha, isn’t he?”

“Yup,” Jeno answers.

“I think I saw him,” Renjun says. “He seemed out of place. Like, his uniform was way too neat.”

“So, he wouldn’t know…” Donghyuck trails off.

Jeno shrugs. “Probably not.”

Donghyuck's lips quirk up ever so slightly. “...Interesting.”

 ☁ ☁ ☁

After school

The bell has rang a few minutes ago, and the boys have gathered near the staircase where Jeno knows Mark’s locker to be (there are a few advantages to being the class representative).

“That’s him,” Renjun murmurs into Donghyuck’s hair, nodding in the direction of a guy wearing an orange hoodie.

“He’s cute,” Jaemin comments, and Jeno makes a face.

“Shut up,” Donghyuck and Renjun simultaneously say.

“I meeean-” Jaemin begins, but Renjun plasters a hand against his mouth. “Mmm!!”

“Why do hang out with this dumbass?” Renjun asks to no one in particular.

“Because Jeno and you are in love with him,” Donghyuck retorts.

“THAT’S NOT HOW IT IS,” Renjun whisper-screams, while Jeno utters a very eloquent “uhhhHHH-”

“Shit, he’s moving,” Donghyuck curses.

He takes a few jerky steps towards Mark, who has just closed his locker. Hyuck glances over his shoulder and finds his friends making ridiculously broad movements indicating that he should move faster. 

“For god’s sake,” Donghyuck mumbles, but he acts according to their wishes.

Picking up the pace, he swiftly catches up to Mark amonsgt the small crowd in the hallway. Without ceremony, he tackles the older boy, who subsequently drops his earphones.

“Did you get what the teacher said about the midterm exam?” Donghyuck asks.

“Uh...” Mark says, bending to pick up his belonging.

“Oh!” Donghyuck exclaims, eyes widening. “I thought you were my friend. I am so sorry.”

Mark gives a small smile. “It’s okay.”

“I guess left he before me,” Donghyuck says gently, walking alongside Mark.

“I... I suppose.”

A pause.

“Did we have a class together yesterday?” Donghyuck inquires. “Your face looks familiar.”

“I’m a new student, actually,” Mark admits, and Hyuck notices that his ears are slowly turning red. "This is my first day."

“Really?” Donghyuck says, head tilted. “Nice to meet you! My name’s Donghyuck.”

“Mine is Mark.”

“Hey, Mark,” Donghyuck says, lips curling up.

A chuckle. “Hi.”

“This school kinda sucks,” Hyuck says, and before Mark can answer, he speaks again. “Gym class is fun sometimes, though.”

“I-”

“I just had gym,” Donghyuck continues. “Random question: do I smell weird to you? I’m an idiot, so I forgot my deo.”

“You, uh- You smell fine.”

“Are you sure?” Donghyuck insists with a worried expression. “I have this family thing to attend, and I don’t have time to go home to shower.”

Mark hesitates, and Donghyuck moves closer. Their faces are far too close for people who have met two minutes ago, and Mark flinches.  

“Ah, sorry,” the younger one says. “I might be a bit nervous… Still, like, are you sure I don’t smell weird?”

After a second, Mark carefully closes to distance between them and sniffs the air near Donghyuck's right ear.

“You smell normal,” he says.

Donghyuck stares at Mark’s face with a terrible watchfulness, searching for any sign of recognition of his omega-ness.

He finds none.

“That’s a relief,” he breathes, a sense of triumph taking over.

“Do you-”

“Gotta go,” Hyuck says, checking his phone. “I have a bus to catch.”

“Ah…” Mark stumbles. “Uh- Good luck with the family thing.”

A bright grin. “Thanks!”

Donghyuck thinks he hears Mark say something, but he’s too focussed on the good news to really care.

☁ ☁ ☁

16:33

DH: CLEARED

16:35

DH: GUYS

16:36

RJ: ???

DH: he didn’t react in any way!

RJ: Congrats!

JM: ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑

RJ: Shut up, Jaemin

JM: I didn’t say anything </3

DH: can you guys pay attention to me for like

DH: two seconds

DH: or is that too much to ask

16:37

RJ: Sorry

DH: i feel your sincerity in my soul.

16:42

JM: injunnieee (╥_╥)

16:45

DH: …

DH: @renjun

DH: you were right

Lee Donghyuck removed Na Jaemin from this conversation

16:58

JN: I’m happy for you, Hyuck!

Lee Jeno added Na Jaemin to this conversation

☁ ☁ ☁

The following day

“Hey,” a voice says, and Donghyuck looks up to find Mark Lee towering him, holding a lunchbox so tightly it looks like he's hugging it.

“Hey,” Donghyuck replies, unsure of what expression to wear.

“Do you mind if I sit with you guys?” Mark inquires, eyes scanning everyone, but always trailing back to Donghyuck.

“Uh…” Hyuck lets out.

“We don’t mind at all!” Jaemin says. “Right, Jeno?”

Jeno offers a warm smile. “We'd love to have you, hyung,” he tells Mark. “I hope you like the school so far.”

“ Hyung ?” Donghyuck whispers to Renjun, who nods imperceptibly.

Mark hesitantly sits down besides Jeno. “I’m trying to get used to it, I guess.”

“Don’t hesitate to come to me or anyone on the comite if you need help.”

“Jeno is such a sweet class rep,” Jaemin says, eyes like crescents. “Don’t you think so?”

Mark chuckles. “He sure is.”

A silence.

“I have to go study,” Donghyuck says.

“So soon?” Renjun asks, and the way he stares at Donghyuck makes the boy uncomfortable.

“Big test coming up.”

A pause. Mark glances at Donghyuck, but quickly looks away.

“I’ll see you guys later,” Hyuck says.

 ☁ ☁ ☁

On the way home

“He asked a couple questions about you,” Jeno says.

“He’s interested because he found out I’m an O,” Donghyuck replies.

“I’m not sure he did… He didn’t mention anything about secondary gender.”

“He’s an alpha, Jeno.”

“That doesn’t mean-”

“It means everything.”

A sigh. “Are you going to avoid As for the rest of your life?”

“If I can, ya.”

Jeno gently grabs Donghyuck’s arm. “Look, I don’t know what it’s like for you, but… I feel like you’re being unreasonable.”

“You’re right. You don’t know .”

“You can’t dismiss everything I say because I’m a beta, Hyuck. That’s not fair.”

A snort. “Don’t talk about fairness .”

Jeno holds in a sigh. “Okay. I understand that it's not-"

“Can we stop talking about this?”

“You always avoid it.”

“There’s a reason for that.”

“Donghyuck…”

“I said I didn’t fucking want to talk about it.”

A pause.

“Okay,” Jeno says, giving up.

A deep breath. “Thank you.”

They keep walking for some time, the silence heavier than it should be. 

“We’re always here for you. You know that, right?”

Donghyuck scoffs. “I’m all too aware.”

 ☁ ☁ ☁

Two days later

“I, uh- I made cookies,” Mark says, pulling out a small metallic box. “Or at least, I tried to.”

“For us?” Jaemin asks, a grin blossoming on his face.

“Something like that,” Mark answers, nervously running his fingers through his hair.

“That’s really kind, hyung,” Jeno says.

“You guys have been super nice to me,” Mark answers. “It’s the least I can do.”

Renjun takes the first bite. “Pretty good,” he approves, voice muffled by his hand.

“You mean amazing !” Jaemin corrects.

Renjun hums in response. “We might start taxing you in cookies in exchange for the privilege of hanging out with us.”

Mark laughs. “That wouldn’t be so bad.”

A pause. 

“Donghyuck?” Mark calls softly.

The boy has been silent during the entire exchange, scrolling on his phone blankly. 

“Do you want to try one? Jaemin told me you liked chocolate chips, so-“

“No thanks,” Hyuck says.

“Oh, come on,” Jaemin lets out. “They’re really good! I’m sure you’d like them.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’re always hungry,” Renjun argues.

“Why are you all acting like this?” Donghyuck says sharply. “I just don’t want to eat cookies, for fuck's sake."

“Fine!” Jaemin replies, putting his hands up in capitulation. “Your loss.”

 ☁ ☁ ☁

Sunday

22:13

JM: Is it over yet?

DH: idk

DH: i think so

JM: Did the suppressants help?

DH: yeah. a lot, actually

JM: That’s rly great :D

22:15

DH: It seems to good to be true

22:21

RJ: You’ve tried a thousand meds

RJ: Probability is on your side at this point

DH: maybe   

☁ ☁ ☁

The following week

“If he comes again today, I’ll just tell him to leave,” Donghyuck says.

“But I like Mark-hyung,” Jaemin declares.

“I don’t care,” Donghyuck replies. “I don’t want him lurking around me anymore.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Renjun protests.

“He keeps looking at me. It’s creepy,” Donghyuck says.

“You’re giving yourself too much credit,” Renjun retorts.

“Well…” Jaemin begins. “Mark-hyung does seem to have a thing for him.”

“ See ?” Donghyuck cries.

“You shouldn’t encourage him,” Jeno scolds Jaemin in a low voice.

“I heard that,” Donghyuck says, glaring at them.

“He’s a nice guy, though,” Jaemin says, punctuating his words with small nods.

“Whose side are you on?” Donghyuck lets out, face slowly twisting.

“There are no sides,” Jaemin utters, now frowning. “I just want you to be happy.”

“And you think I need an alpha to be happy?”

“That’s not what I said!”

“Are you sure?” he hisses.

“Donghyuck,” Jeno says firmly. “Stop.”

“What?” the other growls.

“You’ve been such a jerk lately,” Jeno simply replies, more distraught than angry.

Donghyuck opens his mouth. Closes it.

“I know your body is messed up around your heat,” Jeno says, mindful of his tone. “But you’re impossible right now.”

The omega clenches his jaw, his rage slowly shifting into distress.

“I’m too much…” he says weakly. “Aren’t I?”

“That’s not what he’s saying,” Renjun intervenes, a bit too fierce, and Jeno glares at him.

“Hyuck,” Jeno says softly. “Have you considered that the new medication might be making you a bit… abrasive?”

Something clicks.

“...oh.”

“And about Mark-hyung,” Jeno begins, and Donghyuck’s expression hardens again. “Hear me out. You’ve been despicable to him, yet he still wants to get to know you.”

“I’m-“

“You’re not the only omega in this school,” Jeno continues, persistent. “And the world is not limited to this school.”

Donghyuck casts his eyes downwards.

“What are you saying?” he asks, voice uncharacteristically quiet.

"I think he actually likes you."

"That... That doesn't make any sense," Donghyuck lets out.

“Hyuck... You know, you’re sort of, uh- cute?” Jeno says.

“Yeah, you’re pretty hot,” Jaemin chimes in.

“ Anyhow ,” Jeno says. “You’re funny and witty… I- I feel like I know you too much to describe you with single words. You’re just… you. I forget that you’re an O sometimes, because it’s… You’re so much more than that.” A pause. “I think that somehow, Mark-hyung can see that, in spite of how awful you’ve been to him.”

There’s a long silence.

“That was deep,” Jaemin slowly articulates

“Yes, well…” Jeno says, his cheeks turning pink. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“I don’t want him,” Donghyuck says. “I don’t want to depend on anyone to…” He hesitates. “I don’t need anyone.”

“I know,” Jeno replies. “But maybe just… try to talk to him normally?”

“... I guess,” Hyuck grumbles.

☁ ☁ ☁

At lunch

“Hey!” Mark greets, and he notices that the only available seat is besides Donghyuck.

He hesitates.

“It’s fine,” Donghyuck says. “Just sit.”

“Thanks…” Mark says, and it sounds like he’s apologizing.

“How did you essay go?” Jaemin questions.

“It was okay,” Mark replies, settling down. 

Renjun and Jaemin take over the conversation, chatting about a movie they’re supposed to see that weekend.

“So,” Donghyuck says, glancing at Mark, whose eyes are glued on his tupperware. “What’s your lunch?”

“Uh…” Mark utters. “Just rice and stuff.”

“Can I like, try it?”

Mark finally looks up. “You- I mean, uh- Yeah! Sure!” A pause. “Though I don’t have another fork, so, like, if you’re not comfortable with that, I, uh...”

Donghyuck reaches out and grabs a bite between his fingers.

“Oh,” Mark lets out. “Right… That works too.”

Donghyuck’s lips twitch. Throughout the next hour, he notices some things about Mark for the first time.

He notices, for example, that Mark laughs at all his jokes, even the ones that barely qualify as such,

He notices that Mark has a talent for stealing glances, going unnoticed to the distracted eye,

That when he listens to a story, he gives his undivided attention.

He notices that Mark’s head shape is a bit strange...

That he has a tiny mole on his cheek.

But really, the main thing Donghyuck notices is that maybe,

Just maybe,

Mark isn’t the worst after all. 

Chapter Text

When Mark thinks back, there was nothing that special about his first meeting with Donghyuck, other than the lingering effect it had on him. 

There's something about Donghyuck...

Something intrinsically beautiful,

About the way he laughs without restraint, 

The way he presents himself to the world, ever so bright,

Dazzling,

Striking.

And in the short moments where he slips, 

Where his face mirrors weariness or unease, 

Mark wishes Donghyuck would turn to him,

Trust him,

Allow him closer.

It bothers Mark a little,

(A whole lot),

That he can't be that person for Donghyuck.

And with every time he thinks that,

Every time he melts in front of the omega,

He has come to the conclusion that...

Well,

Maybe he's a bit in love,

(Completely and utterly in love.)

 ☁ ☁ ☁

3 months later

Na Jaemin is standing against Mark’s doorframe, a huge hoodie thrown over some pajama pants. He stares at his hyung, who's sitting at a desk that’s mostly hidden by pile of loose sheets. Mark isn’t working though, busy contemplating a picture of Donghyuck on his cellphone.

“You’re tragically obvious, hyung.”

Mark more or less slams his phone against his chest, wide-eyed.

“The hell, Jaemin? When did you get here?”

“Long enough to notice you stalking a certain someone.”

“I was just...”

A smirk. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.”

“...”

“You should confess, though” Jaemin says.  

“We’ve had this conversation,” Mark says. “Like ten times.”

“Because you’re stubborn.”

“I’m reasonable.”

Jaemin pouts. “I don’t understand why you won’t give it a shot.”

“It took forever before Donghyuck could even tolerate me,” Mark replies, shoulders sagging. “And we’re in a good place now. I can’t lose that.”

“But deep down, you want more.”

“ Jaemin ,” Mark articulates firmly.

“I just think that if you pushed a bit…”

“You watch too many stupid romcoms. Things don’t always work out in real life.”

A pause.

“Hyuck’s been exhausted, lately,” Jaemin says, walking over to sit on Mark’s bed.

“Finals are what they are, right?”

The beta lets himself fall on his back, eyes on the ceiling.

“Jeno thought I shouldn’t tell you,” he begins. “But, I think you should know…”

A silence.

Mark takes a deep breath. “You’re trying to make me ask,” he says. “So you can pretend I just forced it out of you.”

Jaemin looks confused.

Angry.

Guilty.

“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot,” he says softly. “I know I usually mess around a lot, but... I just- I feel weird being the one to tell you."

Mark closes his eyes, throwing his head back with a heavy sigh. “Then, don’t.”

“You think I shouldn’t?”

“You’re the judge of that.”

The room is quiet as Jaemin retreats to his thoughts. When he speaks again, Mark nearly jumps.

“You know how Jeno and Donghyuck went to a high school reunion last Friday?”

“Mhum.”

“Well, Hyuck had one too many drinks.”

A part of Mark is yelling that he has to shut Jaemin up, but curiosity has its claw around his throat.

He stays passive.

He’s listening.

Just listening.

“He told Jeno he stopped taking suppressants about two months ago,” Jaemin continues. “That’s why he missed school for a couple days and wouldn’t explain what happened.”

A few seconds pass.

“Is that all?” the alpha asks, feeling a sense of relief.

“No,” Jaemin drops.

The pressure comes back against Mark’s lungs.

“Donghyuck said that he had forgotten how much it hurt,” Jaemin says. “And that... That he’d prefer having an alpha than dealing with it.”

“He'd never...” Mark murmurs, a sudden coldness hitting his core. “H-how painful is-”

“He mentioned you," Jaemin interrupts. “You specifically.”

The words slowly sink in.

Mark can’t comprehend them.

“What are you…”

He trails off as the weight of the world falls on his shoulders.

“I’m not sure what you should do,” Jaemin concludes in a low voice. “But I thought someone should tell you, and, like…" A pause. "Ah, I don’t know.”

Mark can’t chase the mental image of Donghyuck lying in the dark, alone, suffering so much that-

“You’d do it for him, wouldn’t you?” Jaemin asks.

Mark can’t fathom an answer. 

“The way you look at him,” the beta lets out. “It’s like you’d do anything for his sake.”

“Stop…” Mark breathes.

Jaemin complies, the air catching in his throat, heavy with a frantic energy.

“I have to think,” Mark says.

Jaemin stands up. He lingers, but the older one shows no sign of acknowledging his presence. In the end, he leaves with quiet words of encouragement, and Mark is left with himself. 

His future is folding on itself, shifting, collapsing, and his mind is painting pictures that are too beautiful, too mesmerizing. Mark could let his thoughts drift, but he’s been forcing himself to turn away from those ideas for weeks, and everything feels so very wrong.

He’s disoriented and overwhelmed,

A bit fuzzy inside,

But for the most part,

Mark is terrified,

Completely and utterly terrified.

 ☁ ☁ ☁

Renjun and Donghyuck are quizzing each other for an upcoming exam, as Mark reads a novel for his lit class.

At least, that’s what they’re supposed to do.

In reality, Renjun and Donghyuck are debating the best popsicle flavor (“The white ones don’t taste like anything!” Renjun exclaims, and Donghyuck gasps loudly), and Mark is observing Donghyuck, noticing the bags under his eyes, the speed at which he sips his cup of coffee and everything in between.

He can’t get Jaemin’s words out of his head. Everytime the omega shows any signs of being tired or even remotely uncomfortable, Mark feels the urge to do something. Anything. If he really cares about Donghyuck, how can he allow him to suffer? If he can take away a part of the pain, regardless of how insignificant, how can he leave Donghyuck all alone?

“What do you think, hyung?” Renjun calls, interrupting his train of thoughts.

“S-sorry?”

“What’s the best kind of popsicle?” Donghyuck asks.

Mark blinks. “Uh… Durian is pretty great?”

“Ew,” Donghyuck utters, and Renjun grimaces.

“Hey!” Mark protests. “They're actually really good!”

“You’re triggered by the most random things,” Renjun laughs.

Mark shrugs, his cheeks heating up, and Donghyuck is beaming at him.

In the short silence, Renjun’s brows dart up.

“Anyhow,” Donghyuck says, ignoring the look the beta is giving. “The red ones are for basic bitches. Don’t you agree, hyung?”

“I mean…” Mark mumbles. “I don’t know that I have any opinion on that.”

“Oh, come on!” Hyuck exclaims. “They’re so basic! I can’t believe you don’t see that!”

Mark chuckles. “I guess you’re right.”

“This isn’t fair,” Renjun mutters. “You’d say that the sky is green with pink polka dots, and Mark-hyung would agree with you.”

Donghyuck narrows his eyes. “You’re just mad I won this argument.”

Renjun parrots him in a high pitched voice. Donghyuck retaliates by launching at his friend, and they sort of wrestle on the spot with loud shouts and insults.

Somehow, Mark finds himself giggling at how adorable it is.

 ☁ ☁ ☁

When Donghyuck says he wants to go get some take-out instead of eating at the cafeteria, the others reply that it's way too cold outside. The omega huffs, and insists that he’ll go alone, because what Donghyuck wants, Donghyuck gets.

“You’re going to get sick,” Mark argues with a frown.

“I’m not weak,” Donghyuck retorts.  

“Of course not,” Mark replies. “But the wind is blowing like crazy, and it’s just- it’s too cold.”

“I don’t need your concern.” A pause. “You know what? I bet I can go outside without my coat.”

“That’s stupid,” Renjun says.

Mark shots him a glare, but Renjun doesn’t pay attention. Mark feels his insides twist. He wishes Jeno was there, but the beta is at yet another reunion with the board.

“You think I can't?” Hyuck says, defiant.

“I’m sure you can,” Jaemin replies. “Doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.”

“Well, fuck you,” Donghyuck growls before storming out.

A silence.

“Heat?” Renjun asks, turning to Mark.

A nod.

“You should catch up to him, hyung,” Jaemin says.

Mark forces his jaw to unclench. “I… I think it’d be better if you went.”

Jaemin studies him. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” the other answers.

Jaemin gives a small smile before leaving. 

Renjun sighs. “He’s ridiculous...”

☁ ☁ ☁

It happens on the way to Donghyuck’s bio classroom. Jeno is there because it’s on the way to his own class, and Mark is there… Well, because Donghyuck is.

It doesn’t happen like in a movie. There’s no warning or blackout, no music to build up the tension. Mark and Jeno don’t even notice Donghyuck collapsing, engrossed in a conversation about some dumb TV show. Time doesn’t stop, people keep walking, and the halls remain as loud as they always are.

But when Mark realizes that the chatter around him is becoming thick and that people are exchanging worried looks, he turns to find Donghyuck unconscious on the floor.

As Jeno runs to his friend, Mark can barely breathe, and Donghyuck’s heartbeat starts to resonate in his ears. There’s nothing left but the omega’s pulse and his scent and the fact that his skin is pressed against the cold ceramic tiles of the hallway.

Mark finds himself pulling Donghyuck out of Jeno’s arms.

Suddenly they’re at the nurse’s office.

Eternity flashes by.

Figures exchange hushed words.

Jeno reluctantly goes back to class.

They tell Mark to leave.

They insist that he leaves.

But Mark is holding Donghyuck’s hand,

Unmoving, vulnerable, as he never wants to appear,

Mark won't let go.

Chapter Text

Donghyuck wakes up to blinding lights and a violent throbbing in his skull. He squeezes his eyes tight, face contorting, and a whimper escapes his lips.

Something brushes against his skin, gentle and cold. Donghyuck instinctively holds on to it. Suddenly, he feels less feverous. He pulls, and a weight falls besides him.

He hears his name, distant. Like an echo.

Donghyuck slips into a strange calmness that feels foreign yet so very right.

☁ ☁ ☁

14:02

DH: you left me with him

DH: why the fuck would you do that

JN: He wouldn’t leave

JN: Did something happen??

14:08

JN: Hyuck?

14:13

JN: Answer my calls

14:16

JN: Donghyuck

JN: Please

14:20

JN: I’m coming over

☁ ☁ ☁

A day later

A knock.

“Go away,” Mark says, so quiet that it’s mostly for himself.

Another knock. The alpha curses under his breath.

“Hyung,” a voice calls. “It’s me.”

“Jeno?” Mark mutters, stumbling up.

The door opens.

Jeno lets out a soft sigh of relief. “Hi.”

“How is he?” Mark spurts.

“You missed school” Jeno replies, walking towards the other’s desk.

“How is Donghyuck?” Mark repeats.

There’s a deep sigh.

“Acting out,” Jeno says. “He’s a mess. He hasn’t been eating well. Or sleeping well. He hasn’t been doing anything well, really.”

Mark clenches his teeth, taking a deep breath.

“Is it…” he says. “Is it just the heat? Do we know what’s wrong?”

“In part the heats,” Jeno replies. “From what I understand, it might be more psychological than physical.”

Mark frowns. “What does that mean?”

“He’s fighting against himself,” Jeno says quietly. “Against himself and the world and no one in particular. It’s draining him.”

“But...” Mark begins.

He’s so lovely.

“I know,” Jeno lets out, as if he could read Mark’s mind - though perhaps his face gave it away.

Jeno remembers the alpha yanking Donghyuck’s limp body from his arms, wild, his presence raw and overpowering. Jeno found himself averting his eyes, instinctively folding in on himself.

He wonders where that part of Mark is hidden as the alpha keeps his gaze on the floor, seeming small, almost fragile.

“Is there a way…” Mark says hesitantly. “Any way I can help?”

Jeno considers the question.

“Well, he's... He's mad at you."

“I know,” comes in a whisper. 

"He said something about losing control." A pause. "He's really scared of that, you know. Not being in control."

Donghyuck relies solely on himself,

He refuses to take,

He's unable to give. 

"I'll talk to him," Jeno says quietly. "I think he knows, deep down, that we all want the best for him."

☁ ☁ ☁

When it comes to his secondary gender, Donghyuck is but raw flesh, a single touch sending his every nerve into pure alarm. 

Mark was reckless,

He flew too close to the sun;

His wings have melted. 

He has do drift away. 

Once or twice, he tries to fall back into what they were,

To sit with Jeno and Renjun and Jaemin and him,

To go back,

Back to when he was someone to Donghyuck,

A schoolmate,

A friend,

(The hope of something more),

Now, he’s a threat.

Now, he’s an alpha.

It might get better, he tells himself.

Time is what they need, right?

☁ ☁ ☁

2 months later

They run into each other in the bathroom.

Donghyuck bumps into Mark, and he quickly apologizes before tensing when he realizes.

“Hey,” Mark breathes.

“Sorry,” Donghyuck repeats, trying to step away.

“Hyuck,” Mark calls.

The omega ignores him.

“Donghyuck,” Mark calls again.

The other hesitates. For some obscure reason, he finds himself stopping, waiting for Mark to speak.

A few seconds that feel like hours.

“What do you want?” Hyuck asks sharply.

Mark realizes that he doesn’t know.

“I- I just…”

“You what?”

“ I miss you ,” Mark thinks.

Donghyuck eyes meet his for a short instant.

Then, the omega is leaving.

Donghyuck is leaving.

Donghyuck is leaving .

“Use me,” Mark blurts.

Time stops.

“I want... I want to help you,” Mark continues.

“What does that imply?” Donghyuck asks very slowly, voice quiet and heavy.

Mark gulps. “Anything you need.”

Silence veils them again.

Donghyuck leaves.

☁ ☁ ☁

18:14

M: I did something stupid.

M: I need moral support.

18:17

M: Please.

18:20

JM: Are u okay???

M: NO.

JM: I gotchu dw (￣ー￣)ｂ

18:23

JM: I'll be there in like 30 seconds, open you door!

 ☁ ☁ ☁

A few days later

“Clothes,” a voice behind Mark says. 

The alpha finds Donghyuck leaning against the locker besides his, arms crossed, staring at his right elbow.

“I’m sorry?” Mark lets out sheepishly.

“I need some of your clothes.”

“What, uh- What kind of clothes?”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck replies with irritation. “Shirts, I guess. As long as you haven’t washed them.”

Mark blinks.

“Can you not hear me?”

“Y-yeah, I’m just…”

“You know where my locker is?”

Mark’s eyes widen. “Yes.”

“Can you drop them off tomorrow before I leave?”

“My clothes,” Mark states, but it sounds like a question.

A sigh.

“I mean, hum… How much do you need?”

Donghyuck shrugs. “A dozen shirts, maybe?”

“What kind?”

“Figure it out,” Donghyuck says, impatient. “I gotta go.”

Mark watches Donghyuck walk away.

 ☁ ☁ ☁

22:45

M: Jeno?

00:32

JN: Who is this?

00:36

M: It’s Mark.

JN: Ah, I see

JN: How have you been?

M: I have a question.

JN: Concerning Donghyuck?

M: Why does Donghyuck need dirty clothes?

00:38

JN: He actually asked you?

M: Yes.

JN: He wants to try nesting

00:39

M: Oh...

JN: He has clothes of mine and of the others, but an alpha’s smell is more soothing.

M: Oh.

00:43

M: Thanks for answering

00:50

JN: Of course

JN: Good night, hyung

Chapter Text

190627

tl;dr: I'm kinda back,  I'll try to write this 'til the end, and you might want to re-read the previous chapters because I completely changed some parts.

Hello there! So, 6 months hiatus, huh? I honestly thought I had fully dropped this story bc the characters were... difficult? (By that I mean Hyuck. That kid is so stubborn, his author can't even get him to do anything ://). I finally came up with a course of event that would get him where I want, so I decided to come back to this story and try to give it a proper ending. I can't guarantee it will happen, but I hope you'll bear and that you're still invested in the fate of these poor babies. 

As for the changes in the story: I tried to build up Markhyuck's relationship better. There's clearer chara motivation for Mark and a bit more nuance in Donghyuck in general. The changes are sometimes subtle becaus my writing style is peculiar, but some parts of the narration were fully removed or changed. 

Considering all this, I hope you'll understand if you notice the inconsistencies in the writing presentation / style, or even in the plot / mood. Everything is a bit messy, ngl fghjk. 

Thanks for dropping by again :D I live for ABO Markhyuck, and I hope and can provide this glorious community with some hq content hahah

Chapter Text

Mark is walking towards his locker when Donghyuck grabs his wrist and pulls him away. The alpha is stunned into silence, stumbling his way in the omega’s trail. Before he has time to formulate a proper thought, Donghyuck has locked them in a disabled restroom cabin.

For a moment they study each other, standing a few feet apart. 

Donghyuck’s jaw is set, his eyebrows furrowed,

Mark stares at him with wide, dumbstruck eyes. 

“Swear that you won’t move,” Donghyuck commands. 

After a false start, Mark manages to utter a meek “what?”.

“Just swear,” the omega insists, shoulders dropping ever so slightly. “I need you to.”

Mark swallows. “I swear.”

Donghyuck seems to take that as his cue. 

He closes the distance between them.

Mark stands still, half expecting the younger one to punch him in the guts, but instead arms wrap around his back,

Donghyuck’s head falls against his shoulder,

Nuzzling,

His hair tickling Mark’s cheek.

“What…”

“Shut up,” Donghyuck replies, voice muffled.

Mark’s entire face is burning up, and he's either choking or hyperventilating,

Can’t quite tell.

“I fucking hate you,” Hyuck says, but as he does so he burries his nose deeper in the crook of Mark’s neck and inhales slowly.

Donghyuck’s muscles slowly relax against the alpha.

“What are we doing?” Mark questions in a murmur.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath,

And another. 

“Your pheromones,” he simply says. 

Do I ease your pain? Can I help you, finally? Can I give you something that matters?

“Donghyuck-”

“You said you’d do whatever I needed," Donghyuck cuts him. “I need you to shut up and let me do this.”

Mark clenches his teeth.

Do you hate me? Do you miss me, even just a bit? Am I allowed to care? Can I be by your side? What am I to you? Can I be something to you?

Mark is bracing himself, preparing a string of words that's somewhat intelligible, turning it over and over in his mind as Donghyuck presses himself against his heart. 

But then Donghyuck is stepping back,

Looking into the mirror, 

Sighing.

His warmth’s absence presses heavily against Mark’s lungs. 

“Thanks,” comes under the omega’s breath.

A turn,

A glance,

A push, 

He’s gone. 

Chapter Text

“You smell like Mark,” Jeno observes. 

“I’ve been nesting.”

The beta’s nose scrunches up. “It’s stronger than before.”

“Maybe he didn’t shower for a few days. I don’t fucking know, Jeno.”

His friend is studying him with a frown. 

“If you say so…”

☁ ☁ ☁

They don’t exactly discuss it, but they fall into the rhythm of an odd arrangement, which consist of them hiding away from the world’s gaze and Mark standing nervously as the omega takes and takes and takes . It never goes further than embraces, though the word carries more tenderness than reality. Donghyuck is greedy, ravenous, grazing the alpha’s skin with his lips yet never quite kissing him. When Donghyuck smells so sweet, it’s essentially impossible for Mark’s body to remain indifferent, but he knows the precarity of their relationship, so he steels himself and counts in his head - to a hundred, to a thousand. He cannot - will not - act on his deep, gut-wrenching desires. 

He does it for Donghyuck,

Because what else can he do when all he wants is to be seen,

To matter, just a little, 

(To fill Donghyuck's heart.)

☁ ☁ ☁

It’s been two weeks or so, but Mark hasn’t fully wrapped his mind around the situation. He’s still not sure if he loves or hates it. Between two classes, he finds himself pushed into in some closet, Donghyuck all over him in a second. He counts to 203 before the omega mumbles something against his chest, bringing his focus back to reality. 

“What?”

“Come over?” Donghyuck asks, words hushed and precipitated. “My heat is coming soon and everything hurts.”

“Oh,” Mark lets out. “ Oh …”

Donghyuck leans to murmur in Mark’s ear. 

“Come around 8, yeah?”

Mark’s chest is colliding,

Building itself up again.

“O-okay.”

☁ ☁ ☁

Having Mark in the comfort of his bed is superior to nesting in so many ways, and it’s much more effective. Donghyuck feels calm, light, almost airy. 

“Hold me,” he lets out.

Mark tenses.

“Just do,” the omega insists. “My arms are tired.”

And so Mark holds him,

Hesitantly at first,

But then pulls him close,

Buries his face in Donghyuck hair and sighs,

And Donghyuck can hear his heart thumping against his ear. 

It feels good, he thinks,

To have this authority,

To know that he can make his pain go away with a single movement,

A single word. 

☁ ☁ ☁

It becomes a routine. Hyuck will text him, and he’ll show up. When the omega feels better, he’ll leave. Mark knows it’s weird, maybe even unhealthy, but he can’t help but give and give and give . 

Their arrangement is a secret, of course. That’s a given. 

Yet, things slowly change in their outer lives. At first, Donghyuck acknowledges him with a quiet greeting when they pass by each other in the halls, and only shrugs when his friends throw puzzled looks his way. After a while, Mark is back with them every few days for lunch, and he sits besides Donghyuck, and everything feels right .

Time , Mark thinks.

Time is all they need.

☁ ☁ ☁

Mark has only refused to come once, the evening before a big exam. He’s busy on some weekdays because of his guitar lessons and his club meetings, but Donghyuck is aware of that. It’s not that he cares per say, but as much as he enjoys topping Mark’s priority list, the alpha has responsibilities. He has considered asking him to drop everything, to be there for him always; it’d be an incredible power trip… But as much as Donghyuck can be cold, he does have a conscience, and he understands what it means to compromise. 

☁ ☁ ☁

Donghyuck discovers that he likes having someone playing with his hair. It makes him feel all tingly. Mark learns and experiments and finds exactly how he likes it - the right pressure, the right angle, the right everything. 

It feels good, he thinks,

This thing he has,

Mark and him... 

It's good. 

☁ ☁ ☁

“You seem happier lately,” Renjun tells him. 

“Me?”

“No, the wall,” Renjun deadpans. 

“Shut up, Huang.”

“You shut up.”

A snicker. 

“Is it Mark-hyung?” Renjun asks.

“What?”

“Are you guy dating or something?”

“Dating? Absolutely not!”

Renjun eyebrows rise up. “Friends with benefits?”

“No!” Hyuck spurs. “God, no!”

The beta raises both his palms and shrugs. “There are clues pointing to that.”

“It’s not how it is,” the other declares with force. 

“Smells like it.”

“For the thousandth time, I am nesting .”

Renjun utters an unenthusiastic “meh”, and Donghyuck heaves a sigh, hiding his uneasiness with layers of frustration, irritation and misplaced anger. 

“I don’t really care what it is,” Renjun says, looking away. “As long as you’re happy.”

They don’t speak for a while.

“Do you want some ice cream, Huang? It’s on me.”

☁ ☁ ☁

It’s Friday night, and Mark is visibly exhausted, eyelids fluttering close as soon as his head touches the pillow. 

“Long day?” Donghyuck asks softly.

Mark hums, hugging the younger a bit tighter.

“I'll take that as a yes."

A minute later, the alpha is sound asleep.

His mouth is slightly agape,

Stray hair falling on his forehead,

And there’s a kind of warmth pooling in Donghyuck’s stomach.

He can’t kick him out, can he?

It’d be mean.

Besides, having Mark by his side relaxes him,

It’d be good for his sleep, right?

That makes sense,

Yes. 

He watches the alpha for a bit,

Listening to his breathing, slow and soothing.

“Good night,” he whispers. 

Chapter Text

Some unsaid rules exist in this realm of existence of theirs. They can chat, but only casual stuff: school, their last meal, the weather... When the alpha leaves, Donghyuck utters a quiet goodbye and thank you. When they’re together, they’re together, but the time they have is limited and kept behind closed doors.

When Mark spends the night at Donghyuck’s and wakes up to the younger boy curled up by his side, holding Mark’s arm against his chest, the alpha nearly has a nervous breakdown. His panic must radiate somehow, because right then Donghyuck comes awake.

“Hi there,” he lets out, voice hoarse and sleepy. 

Mark is properly freaking out, but he forces a smile that almost looks normal. 

“Hey.”

The omega shifts his weight so their bodies fall closer, and suddenly their faces are inches apart and Mark is going into overdrive, desperately trying to look at something that is not Donghyuck’s lips. The younger leans in, looking deep into his eyes. Mark is bursting into flammes. Hyuck suddenly deviates towards the side of his head. He presses his nose against the alpha's hair for a second before pulling away, grimacing.

“I don’t like your new shampoo,” he says. 

Mark blinks twice. Opens his mouth. Closes it. 

Donghyuck is chuckling, grinning up at him. Mark’s breath catches in his throat. There’s something new in Donghyuck’s eyes - a glint, a spark, something - he’s sure of it. Before he knows it, his heart is cracking open and his chest is expanding until everything bubbles up to his mouth. 

“What are we?” he breathes.

Donghyuck stares. 

“What do you mean?” he asks guardedly. 

“Us,” he replies, and Donghyuck face is falling, but Mark can’t bring himself to back out now. “You and me. What are we?”

A few birds chirp inconspicuously outside the window.

“We’re friends,” the omega says with a blank expression. 

Mark nods slowly,

Lowers his head.

He feels like an idiot. 

“Why are you asking that?” Donghyuck inquires sharply. 

Mark takes a moment to answer. 

“I’m not sure,” he admits in a whisper. 

“Are you waiting for me to fall in love with you or something?” Donghyuck throws, accusation clawing its way through his tone. “Do you think I owe you a relationship?”

He slips out of the bed to tower the alpha who sits up on the mattress. 

“Of course not,” Mark lets out, taken aback. 

“Was that your plan?” Donghyuck fumes. “To build up my trust until you could mark me? Own me?”

“What are you talking about?” Mark exclaims, voice rising to match the omega’s.

Donghyuck is glaring, flushed and trembling. “You’re a fucking hypocrite, Mark Lee!” 

“Do you even hear yourself?” he retorts, dumdfounded. 

“You-”

“I’ve put up with every single caprice of yours!” Mark snaps, adrenaline shouting through his entire system. “I've given you everything! Have I ever asked anything in return?”

“You clearly want something out of me,” Donghyuck hisses. 

“You know I like you!” He spits it as if it was venom. “You’ve known since the beginning, and you still came to me-”

“Because you offered!” he interjects vehemently.

“What do you blame me for? Liking you? Caring about you?”

The omega makes as if to speak, but Mark won't surrender to him this time. 

“Do you see me as some rag doll to replace your suppressants?” he questions, voice lower yet much more hostile. “I’m a fucking human being, Donghyuck. Not just an alpha, okay? I’m my own person and I’m sick and tired of you acting like I’m not.”

Donghyuck’s jaw is locked closed and his eyes are welling up. 

“Get out,” he articulates through gritted teeth, tearing his gaze away. “Get the fuck out!”

Mark is dazed, 

Angry and heartbroken.

A part of him screams that he has to fix this. Try, at least, to not lose what he’s built here... But watching Donghyuck hastily wipping his tears, Mark can only think of how neglected and run-down the foundations of their relationship are. 

Even if they were to persist, it’d all crumble apart. 

Mark is worn out,

Angry and heartbroken. 

He strides out.

Chapter Text

What Donghyuck has been yelling into the void for what seems like his entire life is that things shouldn't change because one presents. It shouldn't be the first thing people see, yet he knows that as an O, he's put into a box, branded by a societal iron. He's more, so much more than his biology.

As for Mark...

Life sure is easier for alphas. Good reputation, physical advantages and an overall halo effect. 

But Donghyuck comes to realize that he's been stripping Mark of who he truly is,

That Mark too is more, so much more.

Mark likes to sing. He plays the guitar and volunteers at the local library. Although he's not the most extroverted guy, people are drawn to him. His jokes are dumb, yet his laughter is contagious. He makes others happy. Mark is passionate. He gets giddy talking about the things he loves. When he’s drowsy, he can babble on and on. It should be annoying, but Donghyuck has grown used to it. 

Mark is the embrace Donghyuck needs when the world has exhausted him. When he wants to stop thinking.

He's the one person who knows how to hold him. How to make him feel safe,

Who looks at him like he’s the only thing in the universe.  

It’s been three days since Mark walked away from him.

Donghyuck is sitting by himself in his bedroom.

He's always been a fighter; would rather punch someone than lose himself to emotions. 

But today...

Today, he’s alone in his room,

And the sheets smell of Mark.

There no fighting left in him. 

Donghyuck lets go and sobs.

He mourns a thing that never was,

That could’ve been,

That he burnt to ashes.

☁ ☁ ☁

“He’s avoiding me,” Donghyuck mumbles into his open palms, feeling a headache creeping up on him. 

“You still haven’t told us what happened...” Jeno says.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“How do you expect us to help if we don’t know what’s going on?” Renjun questions, irritated. 

Donghyuck doesn’t bite back. 

His friends exchange a concerned look. 

"Do you wanna see him?" Jaemin asks slowly, observing his friend with care. 

There’s a long pause. 

“I don’t know," he replies, feeling his ears burning up. “God, this is humiliating.”

“He’s been in love with you for like, an entire year,” Renjun says. “If anyone should be embarrassed, it’s probably him.”

The chatter of the cafeteria rises around them, oblivious to the pit in Donghyuck's stomach. 

“I don’t think he feels like that anymore,” he mutters. 

Jaemin takes the omega’s hand in his. “Love doesn’t just fade away, Hyuck.”

A deep breath. 

“Are you scared he’ll stop liking you?” Jeno inquires softly.

Donghyuck lowers his eyes. 

“Maybe,” he hears himself say.

“And how do you feel about him?” Jeno continues. 

There’s a hundred answers to that question, but they’re all mortifying. 

I like when he holds me , he thinks.  I like his warmth, his head rubs and how easy it is to make him blush. I like the way we just fit together. I like the feeling of wanting to go home because there’s something good back there. 

But how can he say all those things aloud when they already sound so silly in his own head?

“Find a way to talk,” Jeno says. “You have nothing to lose.”

“My dignity,” the omega counters.  

“Oh, stop with that,” Renjun croaks. “We’re all going to die anyways. Memento Mori, Carpe Diem, you know?”

“Don’t latin me,” Donghyuck grumbles. 

Renjun is about to reply, but Jeno beats him to it.

“What he’s trying to say...” the beta declares, eyeing his friend disapprovingly. “Is that you should take a chance.” He turns back to Hyuck with a small smile. “Whatever happened, he’s worth a shot, right?”

He is.

“You can probably find a way to bump into him,” Jeno says. “I could try to find his schedule for you.”

I already know it by heart , Donghyuck thinks, but he would have to kill all three of them if they knew.

He simply nods. 

☁ ☁ ☁

Donghyuck corners Mark on his way out of the convenience store. It’s Wednesday afternoon, and the sun is both too bright and too hot.

Mark has never looked at him so coldly. “What are you doing here?” 

“I was searching for you.”

A pause.

“Don’t do this,” Mark utters. “I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

“At least listen to me,” Donghyuck says, but the other only quickens his pace. “ Please .”

He catches up, but Mark won’t turn to him, so he grabs the alpha’s shirt. 

“Hyung,” he calls. “We have to talk.”

A hesitation.

Mark’s shoulders rise and fall in a heavy sigh.

“What?”

Donghyuck takes a step forward, overly conscious of his every movement. Mark is paying attention, and it’s time to say something, yet Donghyuck doesn't know how. He hasn’t had the time to make sense of his feelings, but Mark is staring straight at him and Donghyuck has to find the right words, and his heart is beating so hard it might explode in his chest. Almost mechanically, he does the one thing that calms him when he’s anxious: he reaches out for Mark. The older one doesn’t react, only glares down at him. Donghyuck brings his hands to Mark’s cheeks and holds him like he’s made of porcelain, searching his eyes. He isn’t sure what he’s doing, but it’s better than standing there like an idiot. 

☁ ☁ ☁

“I was searching for you.”

Donghyuck looks at him with expectation,

That he’ll give in.

And he almost does...

But his eyes still sting from his sleepless nights,

Because even in dreams, Lee Donghyuck torments him. 

“Don’t do this. I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

Mark is surprised at his own firmness.

He sounds like he means it. 

Donghyuck insists. There’s a sense of desperation in his voice, and it fills Mark with a mean, childish satisfaction.

The omega’s hands reach for his face. Mark keeps himself absolutely rigid. Out of surprise. Of habit. 

Then Donghyuck closes this distance between them.

He presses their lips together. 

It’s an apology. 

A confession of some sorts.

Mark catches himself counting up to 7. When they part, the alpha hasn't moved an inch.

Donghyuck's scent is all over him, sweet, intoxicating. 

“What was that?” he finally lets out.

Donghyuck avoids his gaze. “A kiss.”

"Why would you do that?" he asks in a brittle voice. 

There’s a dusting of red climbing on his neck. 

"I miss you," Donghyuck says quietly. 

Mark stares.

“Do you love me?” he asks, and he isn't quite sure why he did or what could even come of it. 

The question floats around them, thick and heavy. It’s hard to breathe. 

Silence stretches. 

“I…” Donghyuck says. “I’m not sure.”

“You’re… not sure” Mark echoes. “Right.”

Disappointment is washing over him, and only then does he realizes he’d been clinging to a vague sense of hope. 

It hurts,

It's familiar.

“I should have given up a long time ago."

An apology. A confession.

An epiphany. 

“Wait...” Donghyuck protests meekly. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark says, so softly Donghyuck probably doesn't hear it. 

A heartbeat,

Another. 

Donghyuck is standing alone, 

And the sun is too bright,

Too hot.

Chapter Text

Saturday

2:01

JM: Have you rly given up on him? ://

7:58

M: What else am I supposed to do?

8:09

JM: Give him another chance

M: I gave him all I had and it wasn’t enough

JM: It was

JM: I mean, it *is*

8:12

JM: Hyung, he misses you sm 

JM: I’ve never seen him like this

JM: He’s heartbroken 

8:19

M: It’s just the withdrawal from my pheromones

JM: Nooo it's not just that!!

8:22

M: Stop, please 

M: This is hard enough. I don't need you making me feel bad about trying to take care of myself. 

8:23

JM: I care about you too. I'm not trying to help Hyuck at all costs ;;; Ik you waited for him a long time and that he can be an immature jerk, but yk as well as me that underneath it all, he's a good person. You wouldn't have fallen for him if you didn't know that deep down. 

JM: What happened between you two... It seems complicated, and I can't say I understand it all

JM: But it rly meant something to him

8:30

JM: Think abt it, okay? 

☁ ☁ ☁

Friday

00:31

DH: Take notes for me again tmr

JN: You’re taking another day off? 

DH: Ya

JN: We’re getting all the info and prep documents for finals rn...

JN: It’s been 4 days, isn’t your heat nearing its end?

DH: I am literally dying, Jeno.

JN: Is it that bad?

00:35 

JN: Ok, stupid question, I’m sorry

00:40

DH: Just take notes for me

DH: Pls

JN: I'll take care of everything, don't worry

00:43

JN: Do you want me to bring some clothes for nesting?

DH: Sure

JN: I’ll drop by after class

☁ ☁ ☁

17:07

JM: So? D:

17:31

JN: He needs Mark-hyung

JM: He said that??

JN: No, but he told me this heat was the worst of his life

JM: Is he okay???

JN: It’s rly bad

JN: He looks like he lost 10 pounds

JM: aaaAHHH

JM: I’m calling you now, we have to talk

☁ ☁ ☁

18:16

JM: Hyuck is not okay

JM: You have to help him

18:23

M: What?

18:24

JM: He’s sick

M: Wdym he’s sick?

JM: His heat is ten times worse than usual 

JM: Like he has a hard time breathing

JM: Idek if he’s eaten anything in the past few days

18:29

JM: Hyung?

18:34

JM: ?

☁ ☁ ☁

Two quick knocks. 

Silence.

Three, this time.

No reply.

“Donghyuck,” comes a voice. 

Motion. Blur. 

White noise. 

A door slamming open. 

He’s standing there. 

A breath.

Them.

Falling,

Colliding,

Blending. 

His body,

Melting away. 

Everything,

Melting away. 

A whisper. 

Them. 

Just them.

Chapter Text

Mark.

He stayed. He’s asleep. 

Donghyuck exhales,

Nestles against his chest.

Fabric softener and sweat.

Escape,

Comfort. 

Mark.

He drifts back into his dreams.

☁ ☁ ☁

Donghyuck.

He’s there. He’s asleep. 

Mark watches him,

His peaceful face,

Brushes a stray strand of hair away. 

A sigh.

He feels numb. 

Donghyuck used to mean butterflies and warm sugar.

Mark was infatuated,

Optimistic,

Naive.

Now, he’s on the edge of a cliff, tumbling towards a simulacrum of love;

Because it can’t be love, all of this, 

Not anymore,

Perhaps it never was.

Still...

There’s this tension in Donghyuck’s body,

This little crease above his eyebrow. 

He’s in pain.

Mark pulls him closer, and he instinctivally nuzzles in.

Melted chocolate and sweat. 

Wistfulness,

Sorrow. 

Donghyuck.

Mark is wide-awake. 

☁ ☁ ☁

Donghyuck rouses to a deafening silence. Mark is scrolling on his phone, thoughtlessly tracing circles on his shoulder. It’s light and familiar. Almost reassuring. 

The older notices Donghyuck stirring. 

“Hey,” he says faintly. “Are you feeling better?”

No reply. 

There’s this speech booming in Donghyuck’s head, a monologue he fathomed after days of drifting in and out of consciousness. Regardless, he’s fumbling for what to say, and everything in his reach sounds wrong.

“Hyung...” 

Mark is looking back at him, 

His eyes dull,

Empty. 

Why are they so empty?

“I want us to start over,” he forces out in a small voice, a hand clenched on Mark’s shirt. 

The other stares, his jaw locked closed. 

Seconds, ticking away. 

“What do you think?” Hyuck adds guardedly. 

Mark exhales. “I don’t know.”

“... what do you mean?”

“I mean that I don’t know,” Mark reiterates, an edge in his tone. “You want so many things, Donghyuck.” 

I want you , the omega thinks. 

He’s wanted Mark for a long time, in a dozen different ways. 

But now it’s different,

He has to make Mark understand. 

“I’m trying,” he says, steadying his voice as best he can. “Everything you’ve done for me... I want you to have it too. I want to learn how to give it to you.”

Donghyuck is wincing inwardly, wishing he had more words - better words. 

He shuts his eyes. “I’m terrible at this.”

An unnerved inspiration.

“You’re here despite everything,” the omega says. “That means something, doesn't it?”

“Nothing makes sense, when it comes to you,” Mark retorts feebly. 

"But you're here...”

He has the urge to find Mark’s hand and lace their fingers.

He can’t,

Not yet. 

“I’ll fix everything,” Donghyuck lets out. 

The alpha is scrutinizing him with such intensity he has to cast his gaze down.

A deep breath. 

Everything will be alright, 

Mark will say yes.

They’ll be back together.

They belong together. 

Chapter Text

Loving Donghyuck means being brave and selfless,

Reckless and too forgiving,

It means coming to him with your heart bare, undefended, beating out in the open. 

“Can I kiss you?” Donghyuck asks.

He’s unreadable.

Untouchable. 

I want to kiss you and love you,

I want every piece of you,

But you'll run away and break me again.

“You’ve kissed me before.”

“We weren’t in a good place.”

“We never were.”

A wince. A tension.

Hurt. 

A pang of guilt in Mark’s guts. 

An urge to protect, 

To soothe. 

“I still love you,” he says before he can stop himself. 

Shuddering breaths,

Fingers trailing the line of his jaw,

A nose nudging against his,

Cautious, hesitant. 

Mouths, gingerly falling together,

Soft and open,

It tastes like yearning, exhaustion and all the things they never had. 

It’s always been a battlefield, the two of them, 

Donghyuck looting, pillaging, ransacking.

But today peace looms,

Today, Mark sets a slow pace, and Donghyuck lets him,

For once, he yields. 

It’s soft, fluttering,

It echoes of tenderness.

Mark is cradling the omega’s face when they part, forehead pressed together,

“Will you go on a date with me?” Donghyuck asks gently. 

“Yes.”

To everything you ask,

Anything you want.

I'll kiss you and love you,

I'll take what you can give me.

I’m a fool, 

And I love you.

Chapter Text

Picture them on Donghyuck’s bed, in the middle of the night. The world is asleep, immobile. Mark’s fingers are intertwined with Donghyuck’s, and it feels like nothing exists outside of them - that they're all there is, all there’ll ever be.

I

MARK
Do you ever feel our bond? Like, physically.

DONGHYUCK
How do you mean?

MARK
I can sense your heartbeat, sometimes.
Around me, inside me.
It’s weird. 

DONGHYUCK
[quietly]
Is it an alpha thing?

MARK
I’m not sure. 

(A pause)

DONGHYUCK
I guess I do feel weird things.

MARK
Yeah?

DONGHYUCK
When you’re not around, there’s, like, this vacancy in my chest. 

MARK
And when I’m there?

DONGHYUCK
It's stronger, I think. 

MARK
Oh.

DONGHYUCK
It’s hard to explain.

(They stay silent for a minute.)

MARK
I can always tell when you need me.

DONGHYUCK
[he nuzzles closer]

MARK
It’s like, embedded in me. 

DONGHYUCK
How does it feel?

MARK
Like you’re the only thing that matters.

II

DONGHYUCK
I’m sorry.

MARK
Hm?

DONGHYUCK
For everything.

MARK
It’s okay.

DONGHYUCK
[seriously]
You’re too nice.

MARK
(after a moment)
I know. 

III

MARK
Did you ever hate me?

DONGHYUCK
No.

MARK
You were always so angry.

DONGHYUCK
Not with you.
Well, not exactly. 

MARK
No?

DONGHYUCK
Look…
It’s unfair, that some people get to be alphas, while others are stuck with this bullshit.

MARK
Being an omega isn’t so bad.

DONGHYUCK
Says the A.

MARK
Right.
Sorry.

DONGHYUCK
I just… I didn’t expect it.
It’s not how things were supposed to play out.

MARK
Hm.

DONGHYUCK
You know how kids’ movies always end with mating or getting pups?
It’s supposed to be an omega's happy ending.
But I want more than that.
I want to change the world, you know? 

MARK
You’ll change the world.
Honestly, you can do anything.
You’re the most stupidly headstrong person I’ve ever met.

DONGHYUCK
[he laughs]

IV

MARK
What am I to you?

DONGHYUCK
[he kisses the corner of Mark’s mouth]
Everything. 

MARK
We’re in a strange place, aren’t we?

DONGHYUCK
Strange?

MARK
We did everything backwards.

DONGHYUCK
[a soft chuckle] Yeah.

V

DONGHYUCK
I love you. 

Chapter Text

The sweat on the Donghyuck’s skin catches the dim light of the evening.

“You’re so beautiful,” Mark marvels. 

The omega grabs onto his collar to tug him down, but instead of granting a kiss, Donghyuck uses the momentum to make Mark lose balance. 

“Hey!”

Airy laughter resounds around them as the alpha rolls onto his back. He’s about to complain further when the Donghyuck straddles his thighs. 

He leans into Mark’s ear before whispering, “I’m going to wreck you, sweetheart.”

Lips tugging upwards.

”I can’t wait to be inside you,” he adds gleefully.

The alpha’s eyes widen, and Donghyuck’s gaze shines bright. 

“Hyuck, I thought we said that- that, well… I mean, it’s-”

“I’m kidding.”

Mark frowns, exhaling a wobbly and uneven breath. 

The other chuckles. “I’m all cleaned and prep-ed, angel. Wouldn’t want to waste that, now, would we?”

A deep, inarticulate sound rises all the way from the alpha’s throat, and Donghyuck laughs again, bending down just enough to brush Mark’s nose with a peck.

“You’re evil,” Mark whines. 

“I know.”

“Can’t you spare me for one night?”

“It’s so easy to fluster you,” Donghyuck murmurs fondly.

“Hyuck…”

“Oh, fine. I’m sorry, you crybaby.”

“Come on. I’m nervous.”

The other hums, his expression faltering for half a second. Such a detail would be lost on anyone that who hadn’t spent hundreds of hours mapping every feature of Donghyuck’s face in their mind.

“You’re apprehensive,” the alpha lets out, worry immediately taking over. “You know we don’t have to do this now, right?”

“I want to,” Donghyuck retorts. “I want you .”

Reddening cheeks. “Are you sure?”

The younger nods. 

“Like, really sure?” He studies Hyuck with a terrible watchfulness. “Because if you freak out in the middle of it, I will also freak out, and not just a little, you know, like, I could plausibly faint and-”

“I’ve thought it through,” Donghyuck cuts in. “The conclusion is always that yes, I want to do this. With you.”

“Yeah?” Mark says weakly.

“A hundred percent.”

Mark chuckles nervously, putting an arm over his eyes.

“Are you still on board?” the younger asks slowly.

“What?” Mark blurts. “Yes! Christ, of course I am.”

Neither of them move for a moment.

“I just..." Mark sighs. "I don’t want to do anything that could scare you away.”

Pause. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Donghyuck asks, and the other mouths a quiet “yes”. 

He plunges into Mark’s warm brown eyes,

Brushes a strand of hair out of his forehead,

Steels himself and his stupid heart.

“I think I might be in love with you.”

There’s a coppery taste in his mouth, and he can physically feel the blood rushing to the capillaries of his entire face. 

“This is not some sick joke, is it?” Mark questions wearily. 

“Of course not,” Donghyuck replies, taken aback.

“For real? Like, real real ?”

Donghyuck suddenly feels sheepish at the prospect of saying it aloud a second time.

“I...”

I’m not sure, he said before. 

It’s the answer that tumbles into his mouth right now…

But it’s not the truth. 

Not anymore.

A deep breath.

“I’m in love with you,” he says. 

There’s a second,

Mark tries to say something, but it comes out as a sob. As Donghyuck stares, stunned, the alpha finds himself half-chuckling, half-crying.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “This must be such a turn off- oh my god.”  

Perhaps in that moment, Donghyuck can glimpse how much Mark cherishes him,

And how lucky he is, that Mark forgave him,

That Mark chose him.

“I love you,” Donghyuck confesses again, and this time the words don’t seem strong enough. 

Mark beams, teary-eyed and sweet as ever. "I love you more."

Donghyuck allows a smile to touch his lips; it’s a concession of sorts, but if this is a battle and he’s losing, he finds that he’s okay with that.

“Now, quit the crying!”

“I'm trying!" Mark exclaims, and the other can only giggle. “I wasn’t expecting that tonight.”

Donghyuck plops down besides Mark, unfurling himself across the bed like a cat. His fingers curl onto the last button of the alpha’s shirt, tugging it gingerly. 

“What were you expecting, Mark Lee?” 

The alpha groans. “You’re evil.”

Donghyuck slips his hand under the fabric, and the alpha twitches at that simple maneuver. 

“What are you gonna do about it?” he purrs, grazing Mark’s skin with his nails and tracing the path of hair on his stomach. “Let’s talk later, yeah? There’s something else I’d rather do right now…”

“Hyuck,” Mark warns, grabbing Donghyuck’s hand before further damage occurs. 

“Look... To be completely honest, I’m pretty riled up, and there may or may not be slick dripping down my thigh at this very moment.”

There’s a pause, and Donghyuck is about to reiterate his pressing needs when Mark swiftly pins him down the matress. 

“You're going to be the end of me.”

A smirk.

"I'll make sure I will be."